Kamala stared down at Tim from her Aeron throne, sighing occasionally–loud, theatrical sighs bubbling up from a well of rage. Finally, she spoke.
“You’ve made friends with school shooters?” she asked.
“Ms. Vice President…” Tim began.
Kamala stopped him with a raised hand, her long DMV claws glittering in the bright white office light. She stood, clacking down off the dais in her bespoke shoes.
“I grew up middle class,” she said, her face close to him, the cocoa butter scent of her neck wattles overwhelming him. “So your aw-shucks, cornpone shit doesn’t work on me.”
Tim’s mouth gaped like a bass and she shoved a tampon in it.
“Do you know why I choose you to be Vice President?” Kamala asked coldly, stalking around him a circle. “It wasn’t for your brains, certainly. Most governors are morons. And it wasn’t for your looks, since you look like a white dog turd. It was your personality, your servility, your unquestioning support of my voter base as they burned down your biggest city. I liked that.”
Tears began to run down his fat face. She scraped one fat drop off and flicked it on the floor.
“You are like my husband in many ways,” she said, burrowing one of her long fake nails into his side, between the third and fourth ribs. “Buck-broken. Emasculated. Which makes sense because you both look like school board lesbians.”
The tampon string hanging from his mouth quivered as he silently sobbed.
“L-L-Luke Skywa-wa-alker said I won the de-de-bate,” Tim said around the tampon.
“Mark Hamill is a useful idiot,” Kamala said. “And barely useful at that. Washed up cucks don’t win elections. I win elections.”
“But I was in Hong Kong during the Titanium Square kerfuffle,” he said, spitting the tampon out.
“Momala,” Ella whined, “Can we go now? I’m bored.”
“No,” Kamala said curtly. “Give me another tampon.”
Ella stomped over sullenly and pulled out a whole handful of tampons. Kamala plucked out one and shoved it into Tim’s mouth.
“But my appointment,” Ella whined.
“We have plenty of time,” Kamala said. “I’m not done belittling him.”
“Just do like Dad does,” Ella said. She reached over and slapped Tim as hard she could, setting his jowls sloshing.
Kamala slapped him as well. “That does feel good.”
“We need to go,” Ella said, pulling on her arm. “If I don’t get an abortion today, my 10th one won’t be free!”
“How you keep getting knocked up is God’s own private mystery,” Kamala said.
“I’m so sexy,” Ella said. “Most men can’t handle they/them pussy.
Is that the face he makes right before his wife spanks him?
His wife’s boyfriend.
Walz gets to watch, sometimes, but she won’t touch him.
Emma needs a bowler hat and a cane to finish that look. And some really big shoes.
Perhaps a backup band that can play nothing but really bad Siouxsie and the Banshees covers? It would at least explain the part about Erm getting laid?
With suspenders and a cricket codpiece?
“No time for the ole in-and-out, Love, just here to read the meter.”
I’m going to be contrarian and say that outfit is performing a miracle in giving her the semblance of a silhouette, therefore the designer is quite good at xer craft.
I’ll agree, the outfit isn’t terrible, but I feel like it really needs a shirt under that jacket.
And probably a human body too wouldn’t hurt
https://youtu.be/xxGmfqgfi48?t=22
Remarkable. I thought about this type of scene last night, and the debate performance just fits right into the world you’ve already created. Bravo.
More kudos for staying up all night awash in black coffee, cigarettes, and cocaine to get this to us.
“But I was in Hong Kong during the Titanium Square kerfuffle,” he said and spitting the tampon out.
Delicious.
The tampon? Ew.
(huge immature giggle)
Reminds me of the joke about three vampires walking into a bar, and the third one asks for a cup of hot water…
He has now since said he “misspoke”. I particularly enjoy the now widely used euphemism.
Ded.
Emma, Ella, whatever.
I suppose it’s a relief in a way. I was thinking to myself: “We’re going to get debate gay-porn from SugarFree today, aren’t we?” A little tampon play and they/them pussy is pretty tame after mentally steeling myself for that.
Speaks a lot about us when we are cool with a little tampon play and sighing a sign of relief because of it.
Real-time SF is best SF. Excellent…now, best line
“How you keep getting knocked up is God’s own private mystery,” Kamala said.
Truer words…
The Jew-fro draws them in, the penis fly catcher does the rest.
“I’m so sexy,” Ella said. “Most men can’t handle they/them pussy.
Ew.
They/Them? Is that like the dual bonus holes article from this morning?
gaped like a bass and she shoved a tampon in it
Shudders contemplating the size of that tampon.
This actually made me feel ill.
I think this is how sexual deviancy arises, mis-wiring of the brain.
Cocoa butter smells so nice! Neck wattles! But cocoa butter!? Neck wattles!
Pretty soon you’ve cross wired the pleasant soothing, dare I say intoxicating, background aroma of cocoa butter to the killing rage centers of the brain and you’ve created a new serial killer.
Is this your origin story?
*walks away slowly but quicker than Beau*
Wasn’t there a lawyer on the TV show Ally McBeal who was infatuated with people’s wattles?
Janet Reno’s
“the cocoa butter scent of her neck wattles”
Caught my eye on the first read. Except for the cocoa butter, I can identify with that
Very nice.
Department of Motor Vehicles, or DelMarVa?
Also, is Mark Hamil’s continuing endumbenation agre-related or the result of a TBI from the car wreck that changed his face?
DC, MD, VA?
I assume it is because Hamill has transitioned to being an elderly lesbian with glandular facial-hair problem.
And yes, Dept. of Motor Vehicles.
I’ll go with standard issue celebrity status brain rot.
Yeah, I don’t know that Mark Hamil ever really impressed me as a deep thinker.
I think of her as the incompetent HR lady.
Also, is Mark Hamil’s continuing endumbenation agre-related or the result of a TBI from the car wreck that changed his face?
Was he riding with Laurence O’Donnell?
Cocoa butter makes me think of girls in bikinis.
It used to, anyway.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UfSOumv-QQ4&ab_channel=moviescenes4u
A simpler time
Dag-nab-it…had a better line
Your father’s internet. This is the entertainment of Gen X. Not as clumsy or random as a meme. An elegant clip, for a more… civilized age.
This is totally disrespectful to the coming Harris/Walz administration.
Keep it up!
So what happens if we feed this series into a LLM AI?
https://arstechnica.com/ai/2024/10/ai-digests-repetitive-scatological-document-into-profound-poop-podcast/
Funny you asked…
It let me run this through, very surprised cause of language in this episode and the political nature.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! Almost…was scared to say the tampon into the mouth.
This is now my newest time waster. I think Reddit needs to be run through this.
Once I find a way to share the link without doxxing…
One of the lines in their ‘conversation’:
Satire sharp as a tack.
SF is the elder god of LLM AIs
‘subtle is not the word that springs to mind’ Welp, there goes my afternoon
I’ve actually been looking to experiment with that. I want to dump all my Sugarverse stuff into an LLM and see what horrors I can get it to spit out. But none seem to want to let me put that much material into one yet.
This one appears to allow it to ingest multiple documents.
This one lets you add up to 50 sources. Its Google so…take that for what it will be.
Its quite…impressive really. Played around with more real-world things like a technical jargon equipment outage briefing sheet and it painted the picture in the form of a podcast.
Unfiltered
The Ohio senator’s image hasn’t notably softened since then, as he has adopted the traditional role of running mate as an attack dog. However, on Tuesday, he was the one that pulled his punches — at least compared to Trump, who was repeatedly deriding Walz as “Tampon Tim” on social media. Instead, Vance came across as “exceptionally competent and conspicuously congenial,” in the words of the Establishment Republican, especially compared to the public perception of him prior to the debate when he was viewed less favorably than any other candidate on a national ticket.
Letting people see and hear for themselves, firsthand, makes a difference?
I may be just suffering from past SF posts, but why was the tampon not used prior to transferring it from Ella to Tim?
Ella free bleeds. She keeps tampons around for her transman friends.
I could see her using a Diva cup and throwing it at people like a pissed off real house wife of NYC.
I don’t understand the extreme hate for Vance. I get disagreeing with him. Everyone has their own opinions. But the Pavlovian hate seems, uh, weird.
Vance dared to suggest that poor people are poor due to their own bad choices and NPR dogpiled him for it. They hate that he made good choices and pulled himself out of a cycle of poverty and drug abuse. I’ve been hearing barren cats ladies bitch about him since the book came out.
If you view it through the lens of religion he is a an infidel.
Politics is religion for more on the left than the right in my opinion. More on the right have actual religions that fill that need.
Ya hammering away on digging yourself out of a shitty situation is quite the take
Having been poor, and been around other poor folks, then moved on to being not poor, I can attest that yes, a lot of those poor folk are stuck there because of their own inability to change their behavior and habits.
The amount of self-sabotage I saw was staggering.
“Huh, he’s not some weird couch fucker like the
newscommie media said?”Emhoff may have smacked his girlfriend around, but we can rest assured that he didn’t smack the ugly out of his daughter.
Not the sharpest tool in the shed if you keep $8m in checking and savings.
https://arstechnica.com/science/2024/10/covid-fraudster-pleads-guilty-faces-20-years-for-role-in-83m-testing-scam/
“How you keep getting knocked up is God’s own private mystery,” Kamala said.
“I’m so sexy,” Ella said. “Most men can’t handle they/them pussy.
Rule 34 remains unbroken.
Her ex-boyfriend is so obviously gay it’s just hilarious.
(scroll down)
https://people.com/style/ella-emhoff-facts/
The pictures they chose to accompany “She’s a fashion designer in her own right,” “She was named an ‘Icon of the Year’ by Harper’s Bazaar,” and “She embraces her natural beauty” are perfect. Chef’s kiss perfect. Five stars, would LOL again.
He looks like the twin of one of my peers. Who is openly gay.
At the the Harper’s Bazaar party, where Emhoff was honored, Hine [gay boyfriend] told PEOPLE why he thought she was an icon: “She does herself…
Which still doesn’t explain the pregnancies.
What’s the acceptable term for hermaphrodite these days?
Democrat voter.
Oh boy
Uh. His ‘dog in garden’ print on his shirt nearly matches her/x’s dumbass cow tat on her right arm.
Also noted: ‘She’ isn’t attractive, but she isn’t ugly. See: Fourth pic of her a MET Gala. There’s a pretty face there. If she didn’t drape herself in tacky-as-fuck clothes, ink and folk, something could be done with her. She’s likely batshit, but also cuz she grew up in/’round the fucked up political scene her mom was boiled into.
https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2024-10-02/biden-to-deploy-1-000-troops-to-aid-north-carolina-after-helene
President Joe Biden said he directed the Pentagon to send up to 1,000 active duty troops to help with recovery operations in North Carolina ahead of a trip to one of the states hardest hit by Hurricane Helene to survey the storm’s damage firsthand.
“These soldiers will speed up the delivery of life-saving supplies of food, water, and medicine to isolated communities in North Carolina – they have the manpower and logistical capabilities to get this vital job done, and fast,” Biden said in a statement on Wednesday.
Some democratic operative woke up this morning and said “oh shit”. Must be hurting them in the polls.
Yeah, maybe don’t blow off a swing state with razor-thin polling margins.
The tinfoil hat part of me thinks they believe it will prevent people in red counties from voting.
Using the military to prevent people from voting?
It’s the reddest part (minus Asheville) of a swing state. Be a terrible shame if all those rednecks in the mountains weren’t able to cast votes.
Don’t worry. Some dem operatives will find a way to blow this operation.
Yep – discussed in the ded thread. Right between a whole bunch of major bases and no sign of the military.
People are supposed to give a fuck about Ukraine, Iran, and Israel while our own people a hundred miles away are out of food and water.
Are they being stingy with the military because WWIII is the October surprise?
The whole 18th ABN could be there, between Bragg and Campbell…instead, probably on high alert for ME War 3.0
Yes – and the 2nd Marine Division is on the other end of NC with all kinds of amphibious capabilities… Along with an Air Wing for lift.
The ready brigade won’t be ready if it’s used for flood relief.
It’s truly amazing, the highest concentration of military installations and service members in the country and nothing. Hell, taking the training battalions from Jackson and Benning for two weeks. Boo hoo the preplanned cycles.
Those Marines would be giving the hurricane victims contaminated Camp Lejeune water.
What day did that storm hit again? Better late than never I guess.
https://www.reuters.com/world/us/white-house-sides-with-union-dockworker-strike-enters-second-day-2024-10-02/
US port workers union backed by White House in strike
On Tuesday, President Joe Biden’s administration put pressure on U.S. port employers to raise their offer to secure a deal with dockworkers. Administration officials led by Acting Labor Secretary Julie Su have been urging both sides to return to the bargaining table.
A winning strategy by the Dems. Or maybe Jill has decided to fuck over Harris.
Workers of the world, unite!
Rhetoric from Cabinet secretaries, including Transportation Secretary Pete Buttigieg and acting Labor Secretary Julie Su, has become sharper in recent days, pointing the finger at the ports ownership and ocean carriers. But right now, there is no sign of any progress bringing the ILA and port owners back to the table for a new round of negotiations, according to CNBC sources. And there remains a big risk on the other side of the political decision-making: wage increases that are a win for workers but ultimately ripple through the economy in the form of higher prices, both domestically and around the world.
Much of the focus about the economic impact of the ports strike to date has been focused on the direct hit to the economy from the massive trade shutdown, and the ways in which supply chain congestion and delays can result in higher prices being passed along to consumers, which will become a bigger factor the longer a strike persists. But maritime and business experts are also warning about the risk of persistent wage inflation making its way into supply chain prices that the Federal Reserve has recently been successful in taming.
Tightly focused benefits, diffuse costs. That’s how the game is played.
President Joe Biden said he directed the Pentagon to send up to 1,000 active duty troops to help with recovery operations in North Carolina ahead of a trip to one of the states hardest hit by Hurricane Helene to survey the storm’s damage firsthand.
They’ll be sen back to base after the photo op.
Up to.
How many troops do we have on Ukraines border? Or in Syria/Jordan/Iraq/Kuwait? Or in Africa?
I haven’t heard that the (D) governor in NC has done much with the National Guard, either.
Some them just shipped to the Middle East along with a big group from TN.
So SF use AI for that one photo right. Make Harry Potter look like a skinny girl.
I would never lie to you.
I’d never lie to you…
Was sorta expecting
Biden said Tuesday that his administration will be “monitoring for any price gouging activity” that benefits foreign ocean carriers, including those on the USMX board. He also said “foreign ocean carriers have made record profits since the pandemic, when Longshoremen put themselves at risk to keep ports open.”
——-
Buttigieg said Tuesday that the DOT is monitoring “any attempts by companies to opportunistically raise prices, including ocean shippers or others,” and called on ocean carriers to withdraw surcharges. “No one should exploit a disruption for profit,” he said in a DOT statement. He added that the Federal Maritime Commission will use expanded authority signed into law by Biden to “ensure any fees assessed are legitimate and lawful.”
Wage and price controls will fix this.
So he’s calling on the Union to give in on their wage demands because “no one should exploit a disruption for profit?”
Heh – that is how it works.
Way to handle the situation.
https://arstechnica.com/security/2024/09/indicted-nyc-mayor-to-fbi-i-uh-forgot-my-phones-passcode/
Spectacular. I’m assuming this was taught to the former police officer at the police academy along with “stop resisting”.
Devil’s Advocate – I can’t remember the passcode for my work phone. Since I don’t use it for anything but recieving incoming calls, this hasn’t really been a problem. I can answer the calls without the passcode.
Can always go the biometric route
https://images.app.goo.gl/KK2D6pTC8pVqFZpe9
Emhoff would have looked perfectly fine back in the 70s with hip hugger jeans and a handkerchief halter top. Skinny doesn’t have to be ugly.
But her modern woke attitude is totally destroying any beauty that she might have.
Gallagher’s haircut does her zero favors.
If you slather a $1,000 of goop and hair products on they, them’s not wholly terrible-looking. Though I really wish the werewolf-eyebrow trend would just fucking die already. Maybe it takes silver.
https://www.hellomagazine.com/celebrities/20220530141625/ella-emhoff-celebrates-birthday-family-photo/
them’s not wholly terrible-looking
Yikes. She looks like angry Wednesday Aadams right before she cuts out your liver to make pate.
I really wish the werewolf-eyebrow trend would just fucking die already.
I think Lily Collins is adorable.
Personally I don’t care how she looks. I just don’t want to see stories in the media (the local media anyway) about how she’s a wonderful designer and a model. Presumably those stories get into the media either by way of the campaign, or by Emhoff’s PR agency. Either way, it’s just pissing on my leg and telling me it’s raining.
Likewise with the stuff about Kamala’s husband. Don’t try creating some mythology about him as some new and improved example of masculinity when it seems like he’s a dirtbag. At least with Trump we know he’s a dirtbag. Nobody is trying to portray him as some wonderful husband.
Or that he sacrificed his career to “support” Kamala when he rode her coattails to bigger and better positions.
Gonna disagree – Twiggy was not sexy.
My vote goes with Juris.
Speaking of a love for non-anemic women, has anyone heard from Tres?
He showed up within the past couple of days. Don’t know if he currently has power or if he’s travelling for work, etc.
OK good.
The Danny McBride cut does no one favors. Men and women that have the hair naturally need to try to keep it tight.
They don’t have to be pretty. They have to be strutting clothes hangers.
“Emhoff would have looked perfectly fine back in the 70s”
I actually don’t think so. Yes, her attitude isn’t helping, but there’s just nothing there to work with, and her face is not quite even “plain”, as they used to say.
When he heard this, he changed his personal cell phone passcode, increasing its length from four digits to six.
I had an accounting professor who said if you ever needed a random number generator to pull a dollar bill out and use the serial number. Maybe Adams copied the last six digits off a hundred dollar bill and then accidentally spent it.
good to know
Better check the local strippers to find that dollar bill.
Taibbi full speech is awesome.
“The end game of the censors is not removing soeech, it’s not controlling soeech. They’re already doing that.
The end game is getting us to forget that we ever had anything to say”
https://youtu.be/pTfe8sP-KPM?si=ZDh__aHOiEf_x1Qd
“Fuck you I’m an American”
“I’m not encouraging you to be skeptical of authority. I’m encouraging you to defy authority. That is the right word for this time.”
Don’t worry
North Carolina election officials said Tuesday that early voting would start as planned on Oct. 17, including in counties that were devastated by flooding from Hurricane Helene.
But they don’t know how many early voting sites and Election Day polling places might be unusable in the swing state because of the storm.
“There may be polling places impacted by mudslides, there may be polling places inaccessible because of damaged roads, and there may be polling places with trees that have fallen on them,” said Karen Brinson Bell, executive director of the North Carolina State Board of Elections.
If you cannot cast a vote, one will be cast for you.
And there it is. That’s why the Democratic governor isn’t using the National Guard, and the administration sat on the massive military resources to hand in the area.
Jeebus, sorry about the high number of typos. I was very rushed and busy this morning.
I hear about how AI will be rewriting it’s own code soon and we’ll not be able to control it anymore.
I wonder if that code will be any good or if it’ll be like the Amazon AI that started deleting itself.
Word on Twitter is that not only is there no National Guard, money, FEMA, nothing in Appalachia, but that regular people bringing in supplies and pulling people out are actively being barred from helping, such as Cleetus and his helicopter. I can’t tell if this is true or not, but you know what? It sounds like something the govt would do at this moment.
Joe Biden doesn’t care about White people.
He was born a poor black child…
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=8WmltnDR2Xg
Getting lots of such reports out of North Carolina and Tennesee.
One report says Tennessee is sending out messages not to donate goods to anyone except them. Do not donate your time.
Donate money and goods to us and listen to our instructions
That’s our company. Make your own cash donations to the usual suspects through our links so we can take credit. Zero request for volunteers to actually help there.
I have a few folks headed that way. Friend from church is from Boone and parents have no water. They are bringing donations of clothes and such.
Brother ordered two 500 gallon bladders from Amazon to bring water to his daughter’s boyfriends family.
Should be interesting. Everyone getting frustrated with government saying no
Big pet peeve: local guy who gets on news conference and starts thanking people. 30 minute conference, 20 minutes of thanking politicians and bureaucrats.
How about just list what you need?
“We need 3 bulldozer, a back hoe and 4 dump trucks at the highway 24 bridge over the pigeon river.
We need helicopters to ferry goods and people at these locations…”
But no.
We get “sit down and shut up and wait for us to get you”
Guy begging for helicopters.
Do you mean 50 gallon? Because otherwise that would be like 8000 lbs!
Guy begging for helicopters.
Holy shit.
What the fuck, LEOs?
8,000 pounds can be pulled by a dually with a gooseneck.
8000lbs is towable by pretty much all 1/2ton pickups these days. Dually and gooseneck are hotshot range.
Good catch Tundra. 100 gallon.
In my defense, he sent a link to Republican spokesperson Elizabeth Pipko while we were texting. I was distracted.
Tow limit on my F150 is 10,000 lbs.
@nick 13K on mine but there is no way I would do it.
@cyto Yeah, I figured. The only ones I’ve seen that big are for water reclamation and not really an Amazon thing 😉
“They weren’t going to vote for Kamala, so who fucking cares about them?”
I have seen the Cajun Navy and Team Rubicon are doing things, and DeSantis sent vehicles from the Florida Highway Department. Don’t know about individual citizens. But it looks like there are still people stranded and without basics like water.
This was an own goal by Biden. Any other president would do a speech before the storm hit, send FEMA to do their thing, and then do a speech on site. Even I know this. Trust me the people affected will remember this for a long time.
Florida is a normal disaster and they are prepared. They have many public private partnerships and prestige materials.
The Appalachian area is a different matter. The area is hard to access with heavy equipment in any event, and all roads are impassable in many areas. That makes it tough.
But…
The response in some cases has been to delay or hinder aid and prevent rescues by private citizens. That is bad
Local news reported that FirstEnergy was diverting crews from up here to head down there to help with getting power back up. I believe some of the more central/southern parts of the state may have gotten a state level disaster declaration as well.
My husband won $200 in LiveNation credit. The concert we want to go to is at a venue that is not a LiveNation venue, even though the tickets are available on LiveNation. So … my husband goes to figure all this out why he can’t use his credit toward this concert and he gets in touch with the venue. He’s chatting with this venue rep trying to get it sorted out and tells her it’s the only concert I’ve wanted to go to for a while, so it’s important. Mind you, yes, I want to go, but I don’t want to PAY to go because, well, it’s my husband. He never has to pay for events. The last event I wanted to go to (JBP), *I* won the tickets.
Anyway, venue rep comes back and says, okay, I feel bad. I’m going to make you VIP guests of the venue amd give you VIP parking passes. People can be very nice.
Yay! 🙂
Excellent!
He played the “do you know who i am? My wife posts on Glibertarians!” card.
Sure, Jan.
I saw that moment referred to as a “Jim”, from breaking the fourth wall in The Office.
The unprecedented storm came out of nowhere, without warning. Its path was completely unpredictable. No one anticipated its severity.
What are the odds I’m not the only person so tired of Chicken Little doomsaying that they blew off the warnings?
They only admit people have agency when they want to blame them for being the wrong demographic.
“Senator Vance: A tremendous storm that my network isn’t really talking about just crushed a bunch of toothless rubes of your type up in Shitkick Holler. Oh, and Ashville, too. *sigh* I had a nice riesling there once. Let’s talk about global warming…”
This guy has been heading to various disaster sites and can bring one or more of his trucks to any location to generate clean H20. He is building multiple systems locally and I talked with him for an hour or so. He is a bit of a kook, but what he is making is great.
https://www.nbcchicago.com/entertainment/chicago-today/moses-west-foundation-this-non-profit-provides-access-to-clean-water-for-communities-worldwide/3103157/
“Washed up cucks don’t win elections.”
So why’d you pick Walz, Kammy?
Kammy didnt pick him. The best I can guess is that the blob picked these two to get rid of them. 6 mos after the election no one will remember their names
Ella Emhoff, as Olive Oyl’s daughter, in Popeye: the Sequel.
Did they test ballpoint pen ink?
Banned pigments found in tattoo inks sold in the EU
https://www.chemistryworld.com/news/banned-pigments-found-in-tattoo-inks-sold-in-the-eu/4020247.article
In the gulags they used urine and a burnt boot bottom. They’re lucky to have whatever is in that ink.
What a coincidence. That is AVAVAV’s new fall fragrance!
https://avavav.com/en-gb