“I’m worried about the polls,” Kamala said quietly, her words drowned, bloated, blue in the hiss and whoosh of Doug’s CPAP machine.
“I’m trying to be vulnerable over here!” she screamed, slapping his back.
“Yes, dear?” Doug asked, turning off the machine, turning on a lamp.
“I’m worried about the polls!” Kamala said. “Reassure me!”
“Polls aren’t everything, dear,” he said, followed by a jaw-cracking yawn. “You are so very popular, beloved really.”
“Yes, yes,” she urged.
“You spread JOY everywhere you go.”
She suckled at his words like a tick.
“President Kamala Harris, the first woman President, the first Black President, the first Indian President… Kamala Harris, first in everything.”
Kamala orgasmed then, shuddering, making a series of squeals and click consonants.
“My turn?” Doug finally asked.
“Fine, whatever,” Kamala said, in her bitter afterglow and rummaged in her nightstand, finally coming up with a thorn-studded dildo the size of her forearm.
“Oh, that’s a favorite one!” Doug said.
“I’m not strapping it on,” Kamala said, “and I can’t find the lube, so I’m going in dry.”
“That’s how I prefer it,” Doug tried to growl sexy, struggling with his pajama bottoms. He turned to lay on his side, and offered up his asshole like an infernal buffet.
“At least turn off the light,” Kamala said.
“This doesn’t make me gay, does it?” Doug asked in the resulting dark.
“You ask that everytime,” Kamala said, then rammed the dildo home.
“MADAM VICE PRESIDENT!” he yelled.
The door to their bedroom opened the light of the hallway without slashed across the room.
Doug and Kamala froze.
“What’s going on?” Ella asked, rubbing her eyes, “I was trying to sleep.”
“Nothing, sweetheart,” Kamala said.
“Oh,” she said, as the dildo slid out of Doug’s sigmoid colon like a cow-birth. She backed out of the room and shut the door.
“It doesn’t make you gay, Dad,” Ella said through the door. “All the guys I date love receptive anal intercourse.”
“It’s so hot when she catches us,” Doug said.
The first sentence captured the article. I didn’t think it could be topped. Boy, how wrong I was.
It didn’t get steadily worse, it was a leap frogging event, the finale was perfect.
She suckled at his words like a tick.
*pause for laughter*
“She suckled at his words like a tick.”
While seemingly one of the more innocuous lines or dialogue, this is actually the most terrifying thing in today’s story.
Oh it… [the opposite of humanized] her. I’ve known people like that.
There is your next article.
I have experienced ticks atached in…a terrifying place…twice in my life. This brought back bad memories.
*shudder* me too.
Ayo. The Doomcock is likely much less of a pain in the ass, than the self-absorbed emotional leech.
I’m in the wrong chat room.
That is what… they… all say.
There’s something about a
Big Macthorn studded dildo that keeps em coming back?Are you Chris Hansen?
Did you bring the wine coolers?
SugarFree got some sleep last night. He’s on fi-ya!
Makes you almost as gay as being in a “Men for Harris” ad.
“I eat carburetors for breakfast!”
What does that even mean?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jLzYPbtklGs
“I eat carburetors for breakfast!”
Definitely not keto. I’ve been cutting carbs for about 40 pounds.
That ad is so funny because it’s so revealing. They really have no idea how to reach people outside their bubble.
“All the guys I date love receptive anal intercourse.”
GTFO
That’s part of the new definition of masculinity, haven’t you heard?
Alien bug confirmed. Spray it with Raid.
Also it must be said: everything about the Harry/Balz campaign makes me barf.
I’m in the wrong chat room.
This is abuse. Argument is down the hall.
No it isn’t!
Go back to your office, Ron, the clients will come to you.
I don’t need to be in my office if I’m arguing in my spare time.
oh. oh.
I can hardly wait for CPRM’s animation.
*chokes on lunch*
…again
He’ll have to cut to scenes of oil derricks and irrigation pumps like they did on Benny Hill.
That manly men ad makes me feel inadequate and unworthy.
Maybe you should try eating a carburetor for breakfast. Or one-up the guy and eat a mechanical fuel injection system.
I dunno, it looked like he was searching for the old One Horsepower machine, IYKWIMAITYD.
“look me in the eye and take my full throated endorsement”
That’s how men talk alright.
I’m still not sure the writer of that ad isn’t some closeted Trump fan.
Closeted being the operative word.
Vintage SF – appetite obliterating.
It’s like Ozempic but with mental scarring.
Mental scarring?
Have you ever paid attention to an Ozempic commercial?
Worse than Subaru Horror Theatre.
The sigmoid is the lower third of your large intestine. It’s connected to your rectum, and it’s the part of your body where fecal matter stays until you go to the bathroom.
Ouch and today I learned
Makes you view fun butt stuff just a little differently, doesn’t it?
What bothers me a little is how plausible, even likely, these stories are.
Kamala orgasmed then, shuddering, making a series of squeals and click consonants.
See?
I’m sitting at a Chipotle knockoff waiting for them to bring me my lunch. I think I’ll ask them if I can take it to go.
” I think I’ll ask them if I can take it to go.”
And eat it later, like tomorrow
‘
My mom: So what do they serve at Chipotle?
Me: Cilantro.
My mom: Oh. Never mind.
🤣
So the reference to prolific anal bleeding helped you to avoid actual prolific anal bleeding?
SF is the hero we need, not the hero we deserve.
Kamala orgasmed then, shuddering, making a series of squeals and click consonants.
Huh. She’s easier than I thought.
More of the same
That means that a system that effectively gives extra representation to the most sparsely populated states will unfairly favor the Republican Party. In 2021, for example, when the Senate split evenly between Democrats and Republicans, the Democratic “half” represented nearly 42 million more people than the Republican “half.”
Though the trend appears to be accelerating, this antidemocratic skew long predates the Trump presidency. Senate malapportionment has been one of the most consequential factors shaping US politics for decades. By some counts, if senators were distributed equally according to how the majority of Americans voted, Democrats would have controlled the Senate in every single year since the late 1990s.
The Senate is broken The courts are broken. The Constitution is broken. Democracy is broken. This crazy obstructionism must end. The President should have dictatorial powers, just as long as that President is a Democrat.
Democracy *is* broken. Could we try getting rid of it?
It’s working as designed. Poor Ben. No one trusts him anymore.
Something I noticed recently… These pieces always talk about Dems not having enough power, but never talk about what they’d do with that power, outside of gaining even more power. As always, if their policies were so beneficial to the country, they should have no problem getting people to demand that their representatives vote for those policies.
VOTERS DON’T KNOW WHAT IS IN THEIR OWN BEST INTERESTS
[and honest to god, I might not even bitchslap someone saying that to me, I might just shoot them]
MY best interest?! How do you know what MY best interest is?
I’m not crazy, you’re the one who’s crazy!! Currently wearing my finest ST flannel.
Was it you who talked about the ST punk/cholo look?
I don’t remember that, but it sounds like something I would say. I have been known to wear bandanas and flannels alot.
https://www.dixxon.com/cdn/shop/products/suicidal-tendencies-40yr-flannel-873900_720x.jpg?v=1702345450
Excellent slumbrew. That’s exactly the right song.
“Was it you who talked about the ST punk/cholo look?”
Growing up, we called those guys OC War Skins. As in Orange County. Don’t remember why now.
It’s like nobody learns anymore that we have a system of checks and balances, and one of the things that’s checked and balanced is democracy and for good reason.
I tried to explain to someone once that, with the system of checks and balances, whenever the country is split ideologically like it is now, we basically go into political lockdown. And until someone comes up with ideas that are pretty well liked across the country, it is gonna stay that way.
And that is a feature, not a bug.
By some counts
Show your work
“What’s going on?” Ella asked, rubbing her eyes, “I was trying to sleep.”
WHAT IS SHE WEARING?
*if anything
Hand-crocheted pajamas with nipple cut-outs.
It’s like you have cameras everywhere.
Hmm… I was thinking a tradwife sleeping gown with a repeating print of a surgical wound vagina would be her style.
😳
Lunch-time at the infernal buffet!
Realistically, turning the United States into a nation where every vote counts equally — and where each voter is actually able to shape the judiciary — would require rewriting its Constitution. Until that happens, Democrats like Harris will struggle to win elections even when most Americans support them. And Democratic presidents will increasingly be at the mercy of Republicans in both the Senate and the courts.
What a steaming pile of idiotic nonsense. Every vote cannot count equally in shaping policy, unfortunately, because that would necessitate some sort of compromise between the winners and the losers, and as we have seen, the barest razor thin electoral victory is treated as a mandate by the winners.
As far as that imbecilic claim about Democrat Senators representing 42 million more people than the Republicans, that only has meaning if every single one of those people is part of the oppressed Democrat Party majority.
The many articles running about the Electoral College is a Democrat panic response, how like how bees release an alarm pheromone when they sting.
One can only hope the same end result happens to these alarmists.
Its a long video…but if you got little ones or grandkids…well worth the watch.
I am so pleased with this post today!
I gotta stay off X, this one melted my brain:
Tell me how you square that circle.
Very pointy head.
Yay democracy!
Truly astounding.
That person impersonated a republican during the convention to throw the vote.
Harris came out against lockdowns? I’m sure there’s plenty of news stories about that.
I’m pretty sure she did, yes. I’m almost certain she was very active in contributing fund to help bail out people who had been arrested in the course of violating lockdown stay at home orders.
The Minnesoda Fund, no less.
You don’t square it. Its a lie/engagement farming/etc.
As Trump Moves To Take the Lead, the Corrupt FBI Crime Stats Stealthily Changes a Fake “Reduction in Violent Crime” Stat That They Gave Biden to Campaign on Two Years Ago
That’s a pretty good jump. Fuckheads.
Lines up with this
Don’t worry, ABC will be along any minute to fact check that new stat.
I strongly suspect that ABC won’t go anywhere near this story.
“We fact checked with the prescribed government data fed to us that we take without question unless its from a Republican administration, therefore, we were right” /ABC News
I can’t support anyone who promoted Covid lockdowns. #NeverTrump
Harris is the government off our backs candidate. She’s like a libertarian, only better.
A VOTE FOR HARRIS IS A VOTE FOR FREEDOM!
Fweedom.
The correction we needed but didn’t deserve.
We can be like the cool kids. Assign meaning to ‘fwee’ to something about Kamala and fwee-dom takes on a whole new level.
“I can’t support anyone who promoted Covid lockdowns.”
Perfectly good stance, so long as that means never any Democrat as well.
I guess I’m the only one who cares about our family friendly rating these days.
I care very much about violating it.
According to today’s documentary, the Harris Family seems friendly.
It looks like the right people are panicking.
Meanwhile, in the jungle:
https://thepostmillennial.com/trump-to-work-the-fry-cooker-at-pennsylvania-mcdonalds-sunday
Shades of Daddy Bush and the checkout stand…why?! Better get on that fryer and learn it for the cameras.
It’s amazing how many people still think that GHWB was “amazed” by the checkout scanner itself.
I mean, nobody under 40, I guess – they barely have any idea who he was.
I still find barcode readers to be some sort of voodoo – despite having some idea of how the electronics in the background work.
I would bet that DJT has had more McD fry grease on his hands in one week than Kamala had in her whole life.
Kamala is the McRib of the Democrat party. Everyone wanted her to replace the Old dried up Big Mac they ate for the past 4 years, until they finally released her. Now Democrats are feeling bloated and ready to void with a greasy and salty aftertaste in their mouths.
Give them a few days to forget and they will try to like Kamala again, but will end up feeling just as shitty but with even more shirt stains and oniony burps afterwards.
Ah I would have been she is the Chicken Big Mac, which I am assuming will be their Clear Pepsi moment. It looks gross.
You know, if Don-Don cracked a joke about, “Yeah, I’m here just in case the whole election thing doesn’t work out?” I’d probably vote for him. A functioning sense of humor is worth a lot to me.
His “as I was saying” line was some great comedy. He’s a funny guy, whether you like him or not.
I think he actually has a pretty good sense of humor. For example starting his 2nd rally in Butler with “As I was saying…” Many of the things that the media hyperventilates about are things he says in jest.
As Slumbrew was saying…
Watching his interactions with normies is often hilarious. He’s vicious toward the press and other enemies, but he treats regular people well.
Fryer cook is where the Peter Principle began to apply to Kommiela.
It looks like the right people are panicking.
Her trajectory seems to be nosing over. They switched Joe out too soon.
Gave people enough time to learn about her.
This rumor of her going on Rogan seems like a spectacularly bad idea.
What a ridiculous twat.
I think it will happen if her ‘unfriendly’ Fox interview goes not to complete shit. But considering she has a hard time with friendly interviews…it will be terrible.
At least she appears to have ditched the “unburdened by what has been” bullshit.
What’s really funny is that I’ve seen a couple of articles about how Biden would be doing better against Trump.
It’s bad enough that Kamala is stupid, but it’s worse that she talks like we’re stupid.
“I’m being condescended to by my inferiors”
*chef’s kiss*
Hartford is a dead city that doesn’t feel safe at night. But a restaurant in the airport serves Founders Oatmeal Breakfast Stout on tap. So that’s good.
I was just chatting with an old friend this weekend – she started with Aetna and now has to to to Hartford regularly; not the best part of her new job.
Last time I was there it was definitely a roll-up-the-sidewalks-at-night kinda place – doesn’t sound like it has changed much.
You could fire a cannon at night and not worry about hitting anyone with a job.
Is this accurate MN glibs?
https://x.com/Mrgunsngear/status/1846584553000874401?t=1ii7jsSaat0JdGrmTuQamg&s=19
Thanks a lot, Fish, I was having a pretty good day.
It’s accurate. Outstate Minnesota is as gorgeous as you can image. But our largest cities are absolute shitholes. Plenty of blame to go around but it doesn’t really matter. Fucking heartbreaking.
Unfortunately for the most part the 7 county metro area controls the state politics. The rest of the state is red, with a few blue spots (bigger cities).
There is a reason I live in the woods. Every pick up is 4 wheel drive and comes with an attached trailer hitch and a boat.
In happier news, this happened last night.
I was actually watching live. Everything about it was fantastic. The Wild were up 2, just a few seconds left and on the PP. Flower suggested that this was the time if he ever wanted to try it.
My favorite part is how the St. Louis crowd reacted. How can you not be excited about something so amazingly rare, even if it goes against your team?
I know nothing about hockey but that looks like a heads up play.
Only the 15th time in regular season NHL play.
Some great quotes in the Athletic this morning.
Goalie goals are always great. Mrs OBE gets mad at me when an opposing player makes a sick move and I cheer or a fantastic passing play occurs and the other team scores and I praise it. Its cause I love the game and when those happen, they need to be appreciated.
Wow. Man. I saw the graphic, so I can’t say I wasn’t warned…. man.
I’m glad the potatoes and eggs I had for breakfast were hours ago.
Inside dope on Kammy & Walz’s continual Three Stooges ladder routine: internal polling by both sides, along with some other bellwethers, show her campaign in a nosedive.
Kamala is to campaigning like that character in “The Bronx Tale” (The Mush) was to dog and pony races: she is horrible at retail politics.
Her events are being scrupulously avoided by her own Team’s Senate candidates. Bob Casey wouldn’t appear with her in PA to campaign, same in Wisconsin, etc.
Down ballot dems know that she’s running a “Titanic” political campaign, with rake-step after rake-step. Probably doesn’t help that her staff and Biden’s are widely reported to be in open warfare against each other.
Delightful.