Monday Afternoon Links of Ha Ha Ha

by | Oct 21, 2024 | Daily Links | 134 comments

Absurdity Abounds!

I am so ready for TEH MOST IMPORTANT ELECTION EVAH to conclude (OK, optimism on my part…the week-long counts in Blue States and Lawfare will take…longer). I am in Illinois – we will continue to have the ALL BLUE REVIEW here, so “meh”. At least I can vote against a couple of tax increases.

However, I must admit, with OMB serving up fries and telling of Arnie Palmer’s mighty….driver, I have been at least amused for the last little bit.

Thus, I will try to keep the links on the lighter side today. Let’s go.

  • First up, The New York Giants! Ha ha ha.
  • Next, we have …Canada asserting itself in the world. Heh heh.
  • Wait…wut? Ho ho ho!
  • There is nothing funny in Switzerland – so no link here.

Music.

Comment section is open and all yours.

Oh, and feel free to send in your posts, stories, whatever. NEEDZ MOAR CONENT.

About The Author

Swiss Servator

Swiss Servator

Currently serving at the pleasure of a Swiss multinational. Previously a Soldier, rugby player, lawyer, bouncer, bartender, substitute teacher, risk manager, and cubicle mushroom. Will work for raclette.

134 Comments

  1. SDF-7

    Heh… I have to say — I love the AI eagle image there. Freedom Fries returns! Afternoon all — and again a bon voyage to those of us going cruising.

    • Sean

      The best images!

    • JaimeRoberto (carnitas/spicy salsa)

      Like those images of Trump rescuing cats, they are so over the top that I can’t help but laugh. I have to hope that the creators intended them that way.

  2. SDF-7

    At least I can vote against a couple of tax increases.

    I have the “joy” of living in one of the few Congressional districts in CA that can flip from time to time, disturbing the dark side of the force reigning in the House… so I’ll be SO looking forward to getting out of political ad / junk mail spam season.

    If things go as well as they’re looking — we’ll move right into riot season through January at the least, concurrent with “whiny tantrum to try to get electors to flip”. If I were in GA, I’d seriously consider trolling Fulton by having a cadre of plumbers on standby as well.

    • Rat on a train

      VA7 waves hello. I hope you are all prepared for Representative Vindman.
      as for electors

      • SDF-7

        Fuck… I’d forgotten about that little asshole and his clan. All the appeal of Schiff-for-brains — who will most likely (given the sheer fucking stupidity of the Jackass machine here) be our next Senator.

        I’m going back to look at that McEagle some more so I don’t have to get fucking depressed now.

      • slumbrew

        *checks Cook PVI for VA7*

        I like your D+1, it’s cute.

        *eyes MA7’s D+35*

      • Rat on a train

        D+1 is why we get bombarded with campaign ads. At least most of you in close districts get off year breaks. Virginia has state elections next year so no reprieve.

      • rhywun

        Mine is literally “EVEN”.

        Whee!

      • slumbrew

        My choice would be even to +2 either way.

        Someday…

      • Gustave Lytton

        This is why officeholdijg should be limited to native born assholes.

        The Vindmans should be court martialed, stripped of their naturalization, and sent back to UKR so they can be worthwhile cannon fodder and bullet pillows.

    • kinnath

      This has been the quietest election in more than a decade. No calls at all.

      We must be solidly in the red by now. Now longer shall Iowa be tainted as a purple state.

      • RAHeinlein

        I hope you are correct – some level of concern regarding the Miller-Meeks seat…

      • kinnath

        The Peoples Republic of Johnson County has always been a tough hurdle to overcome

        I think she will squeak through, but it will be very close.

  3. ZWAK, doktor of BRAIN SCIENCE!

    Diggin’ the Eagle Trump hairdo.

    • Tundra

      Sweet flow.

    • bacon-magic

      Classy.

  4. SDF-7

    Music.

    Jaw drops…. what?

    What?

    WHAT?!?

    Ok… I think the first comment I see in YouTube summed it up:

    I’m positive the creation of this song broke one of the 7 seals of the apocalypse.

    • Beau Knott

      They also covered 99 Luftballoons. Has to be heard to be believed.

    • bacon-magic

      I laughed, then listened some more, then thought about WWIII. I give it 7/10.

    • DEG

      Wow. It’s not bad…

    • Aloysious

      It’s wonderful.

      JOY!

  5. The Late P Brooks

    Undermining democracy

    Legal experts are sounding off on tech billionaire Elon Musk’s million-dollar giveaways to voters in Pennsylvania.

    Why it matters: Musk, the world’s richest man, has pledged to give $1 million each day to registered voters in battleground states who sign a petition launched by his pro-Trump political action committee supporting free speech and the right to own firearms.

    But some experts say the effort could run afoul of federal law that prohibits paying people to persuade them to register to vote.

    ——-

    Context: Federal law makes it illegal for anyone who “pays or offers to pay or accepts payment either for registration to vote or for voting.”

    Those who violate the law can be fined $10,000 and imprisoned for five years.

    As far as I can tell, it’s only illegal to buy votes if you use your own money. Bribing voters with government funds is perfectly acceptable.

    • SDF-7

      As with all things — the Government cartel hates competition.

    • R C Dean

      Except, of course, he isn’t offering to pay them to register or vote. He’s offering to pay them for signing a petition.

  6. The Other Kevin

    Swiss, on the big night I’ll look your way from my mirror image, solid red state and raise a glass.

    • bacon-magic

      They don’t want blood in their mouth from the baton beat down.

    • ZWAK, doktor of BRAIN SCIENCE!

      well, someone is going clubbing tonight.

  7. The Late P Brooks

    He’s also touted the former president on his social media platform X, which he’s used to promote far-right conspiracy theories and bash Vice President Kamala Harris.

    His so-called free speech cannot be tolerated. You can’t yell fire in a crowded theater and you can’t say vote for Trump in a close election.

  8. DEG

    After Collins was medically cleared, police said Collins somehow got out of the hospital with his handcuffs still on and got into a silver Maserati sports car with an Alabama license plate.

    The vehicle, which had the plate number GBT862, fled the scene and authorities have since launched a multi-agency search.

    Impressive.

    • The Other Kevin

      Sounds like something from the upcoming Ocean’s 14 movie.

    • Gustave Lytton

      Pack it in boys, no way to catch a Maserati doing 185. Shoulda grabbed the license when they had the chance.

      • SarumanTheGreat

        It worked for Joe Walsh.

  9. Rat on a train

    Can we get a group together to set the Guinness World Record in not caring about Guinness World Records?

    • slumbrew

      Will you never rest, fighting thebattle of who could care less?

      • Tundra

        Ben Folds?

      • Tundra

        Hah, yep!

        Great song.

      • slumbrew

        Yep yep yep

        Stuck in my head now…

      • Tundra

        I haven’t listened to them in forever. Gotta change that.

        This was in the sidebar

        She is so adorable.

      • slumbrew

        I love that song and, yes, she’s adorbs. And Jason Sudeikis randomly goofing off in the background.

        I’m a big Folds fan (although I’ve only seen him once).

        “Songs For Silverman” got played oh so many times. Great tunes on that, like

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0vPygzPSg8M

      • JaimeRoberto (carnitas/spicy salsa)

        That Obama dress she’s wearing has to go.

      • slumbrew

        I find it safe to assume all artists I like have terrible politics.

      • slumbrew

        Although I approve of her taking off her dress.

      • Tundra

        That Obama dress she’s wearing has to go.

        Didn’t even notice lol.

        I find it safe to assume all artists I like have terrible politics.

        Yep. Especially true with chicks.

      • Old Man With Candy

        I never want to hear criticism of my weekend music again.

      • Tundra

        I never want to hear criticism of my weekend music again.

        The jazz or The Hold Steady and Wishbone Ash?

      • ZWAK, doktor of BRAIN SCIENCE!

        /steps up to mike

        “we will take the jazz, but not the Irish!”

      • Suthenboy

        I remember them. From the bio, after getting into Japanese wrestling: “In Japan, they changed their stage name to “The McGuire Twins” as Japanese ring announcers had difficulty pronouncing “McCrary”.”
        It’s a shame one of them wasn’t named Rory.

        I laughed. I am going to hell, right?

      • Tundra

        Nope. Not for that, anyway. God thinks it’s hilarious too.

      • rhywun
      • Tundra

        Thanks, Rhy. Good one!

      • rhywun

        Their first album is like a Greatest Hits.

        Soooo good.

        Later albums get less girl-group and more weird but still very good.

  10. The Late P Brooks

    Jackpot justice

    The men formerly known as the Central Park Five before they were exonerated on Monday filed a defamation lawsuit against Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump.

    With election day two weeks away, the group accused the former president of making “false and defamatory statements” about them during last month’s presidential debate with Vice President Kamala Harris. The group is asking for a jury trial to determine compensatory and punitive damages.

    ——-

    After the crime, Trump purchased a full-page ad in the New York Times, calling for the teens to be executed. The jogger case was Trump’s first foray into tough-on-crime politics that preluded his full-throated populist political persona. Since then, dog whistles and overtly racist rhetoric have been fixtures of Trump’s public life.

    In the Sept. 10 debate, Trump misstated key facts of the case when Harris brought up the matter.

    “They admitted, they said they pled guilty and I said, ’well, if they pled guilty they badly hurt a person, killed a person ultimately … And they pled guilty, then they pled not guilty,” Trump said.

    Speaking of dog whistles…

    They pled guilty, and then pled not guilty- how is that incorrect?

    *Did Trump act like an idiot? Probably. Did the papers sensationalize that case? Absolutely. Did they get sued?

    • bacon-magic

      How can they be exonerated if they actually did the crime?

      • Rat on a train

        How can you be convicted of a compounding crime without being convicted of the underlying crime?

      • bacon-magic

        How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop?

      • Rat on a train

        three

    • rhywun

      Trump’s “overt racism” is nothing like unto that practiced by any Democrat.

      PS. I was wondering why “Central Park Five” was “trending”. I was like, “those assholes again?”

      I have no idea if we are supposed to conclude that they are guilty or innocent. The whole affair has been grotesquely politicized beyond recognition in recent years.

    • Suthenboy

      Next up: Trump called some girl ‘Mary Jane Rotten Crotch’ in the 8th grade. Off with his head.

      If they do manage to ruin/jail the guy what do they expect to happen?

  11. The Late P Brooks

    He appeared to be confusing guilty pleas with confessions. Also, no victim died.

    That’s obviously worth $100 million. Each.

  12. The Late P Brooks

    Whatever we do, we must not politicize this tragedy

    The Navy has identified the two crew members who went missing and were later declared dead after their EA-18G Growler jet crashed in Washington state last week.

    Naval aviator Lt. Serena “Dug” Wileman, 31, and naval flight officer Lt. Cmdr. Lyndsay “Miley” Evans, 31, both from California, were found dead after their routine training flight crashed in rugged terrain east of Mount Rainier on Tuesday, the Navy said in a Monday statement.

    “More than just names and ranks, they were role models, trailblazers, and women whose influence touched countless people on the flight deck and well beyond,” the Navy said in the release.

    Did they crash because they were women? I’m pretty certain the answer is no.

  13. B.P.

    “I am so ready for TEH MOST IMPORTANT ELECTION EVAH to conclude”

    I’m enjoying the weird calm right now before the election actually happens and everyone freaks the fuck out. If Trump wins I get political violence in the streets and many people around me having nervous breakdowns while bleating loudly and endlessly about it. If Harris wins I’ll get treated to nonstop soaring rhetoric about how the country narrowly avoided the dark night of fascism while loudly calling for imprisonment of public figures associated with the Trump Heresy. Right now people in my orbit seem to be serenely avoiding the Coming Unpleasantness.

    • The Other Kevin

      That is a very good summary. I am dreading it. I have a hockey trip that week, and my kid is flying in for Thanksgiving, and I have a bad feeling about things getting disrupted.

    • Tundra

      We had a neighborhood party on Saturday night. A dozen people or so. I clocked exactly zero minutes of political discussion but at least two hours of movie talk.

      As it should be.

      But yeah, I’m enjoying the calm before the shitstorm.

  14. ZWAK, doktor of BRAIN SCIENCE!

    Wife just came into the room and asked: “would you divorce me if I voted for Cornell West?”

    Shit is not going well for the Big D.

    • The Other Kevin

      “Shit is not going well for the Big D.”
      Is that a euphemism indicating you will divorce her?

      • ZWAK, doktor of BRAIN SCIENCE!

        Well played, sir.

        Well. Played.

    • Tundra

      Who the hell is Big D?

      • The Last American Hero

        Arnold Palmer, apparently.

    • JaimeRoberto (carnitas/spicy salsa)

      That guy must be aiming for the worst case of CTE ever.

  15. The Other Kevin

    I’m throwing around a theory about election cheating. It appears that Trump is ahead in the polls, which should make cheating LESS likely. I have heard Trump say he’ll go after election cheaters. So if you’re in on it, and you’re not certain that a) you won’t get caught, and b) it will be enough, do you risk Trump winning and the “dictator worse than Hitler” targeting you? And do you cheat bigger, which makes it more detectable, which makes it an even greater risk?

    • SandMan

      Check out Mr. Daily Ray of Sunshine.

    • rhywun

      They will cheat bigger, and they won’t care because they know the Hitler stuff is bullshit and nothing will happen to them even if Literally Hitler wins.

    • The Artist Formerly Known as Lackadaisical

      😂

      You’re giving people way too much credit. Many just don’t think this thoroughly about things.

    • KSuellington

      Trumpy is gonna win bigly. Polls are once again undercounting his vote. He may even have a sniff at the popular vote. America loves a rise, fall and return more than anywhere else, but it’s a human story theme for millennia for a reason. Let’s see how his term goes.

      • The Last American Hero

        The margins are close in all the swing states. Well within fortification boundaries. Team Red, being the stupid team, didn’t get off its ass and work on fixing election laws until 3 months ago – which is 3 years too late.

  16. The Late P Brooks

    And do you cheat bigger, which makes it more detectable, which makes it an even greater risk?

    </em.

    And can the courts get away with just sticking their fingers in their ears and yelling, "Nuh-uh! Nuh-uh! Nuh-uh!" again?

  17. KK, Plump & Unfiltered

    I’m drunk af

    We forgot to try to set up the Zoom. But hope to see y’all Wednesday or Friday or Saturday

    • The Artist Formerly Known as Lackadaisical

      Have fun.

      But not too much fun.

      • Tundra

        Did not know you are a Gurus fan. I like you even more now!

        Like Wow!

      • The Bearded Hobbit
      • SDF-7

        Rule Number One — don’t exit the ship unexpectedly.

      • B.P.

        Was not disappointed.

      • Sean

        ✊😉

    • Old Man With Candy

      Last time I was on a cruise (and Never Again says I), the connections were far too slow to support Skype (what the cool kids used back then).

      • Tundra

        Haha!

        My last cruise was December of 1991 (also never again). If you had to make a fucking phone call it was like a gazillion bucks.

      • SDF-7

        Maybe it is KK’s attendance — but I’m thinking maybe they’ve gone Starlink now? That’s supposed to have better bandwidth and should be available in the Caribbean, I would think? (Having looked into it precisely zero over naught amount of time — and no, not the mathematical division by zero being infinity by that…)

      • KK, Plump & Unfiltered

        ElonNet, my friend

    • JaimeRoberto (carnitas/spicy salsa)

      That’s the female half of the North American Mating Call. The male half is “I’m rich.”

      • ZWAK, doktor of BRAIN SCIENCE!

        Which speaks to Mojeaux informing us of the fact that a business suit is to women what lingerie is to men.

    • The Other Kevin

      What I was saying earlier? Never mind.

  18. Old Man With Candy

    My spam begging texts from Team Blue have reduced to about 10 a day. Are they giving up?

    • rhywun

      Should I be disappointed that I don’t get any?

      I get maybe one spam text a month and it’s not even politics. Just phishing.

      • Rat on a train

        My USPS package will never arrive.

    • Raven Nation

      I get about five a day total from both sides.

    • Tundra

      Thanks for that hard hitting investigative journalism, Newsweek.

      *stuffs Newsweek in a locker with a jock wrapped around its head*

    • Ted S.

      They think the Babylon Bee is a real news site, too.

    • KSuellington

      Next they’re gonna tell me that he can’t shapeshift into an eagle with a McDonald’s uniform on at will.

    • rhywun

      lol FFS

    • JaimeRoberto (carnitas/spicy salsa)

      I wonder if “journalists” who write this kind of crap go home at the end of the day thinking they’ve done a good job, or if they just feel empty inside.

  19. Mojeaux

    XX went to her first baby shower today for one of her friends (21). I told her to buy diapers. She informed me it was a pregnancy she and her galpals did not approve of. The father is 35. We had a little chat about why a 35yo dude would be into a 21yo woman, and she said dude was, in fact, abusive. I told her she and her galpals maybe should think about preparing for the possibility that she may need a place to run to. That wouldn’t have occurred to her and she thought that was worth contemplating. I asked her if the dude would stalk her if she left and she said maybe. I told her her friend needs to get a gun.

    I feel a little hypocritical, however. I have always been a fan of May-December romance novels and I even wrote a couple. But the closer I get to December, the less of a fan I become.

    • rhywun

      Mo: OT

      new Hoarders next

      • Mojeaux

        w00t!

        I just looked that up today, as a matter of fact. I think the new season started without me. I believe we’re already 3 episodes in.

      • rhywun

        Yah, I just discovered it an hour ago.

    • Ed Wuncler

      When I was 35 years old, I would not ever in my life think about dating or knocking up some 21 year old woman. It’s not because I’m noble or anything but because what on Earth would I have in common with a 21 year old?

    • Raven Nation

      Meh, I don’t think you should feel hypocritical; it’s fiction.

      In fact, I think you could make a case that writing stories about things that are, well tacky, in real life are providing something of an outlet.

      • Mojeaux

        I get a little isolated out here by myself in romancelandia with talk of “problematic” tropes, of which my faves (May-December, “forced seduction”) are the ones my 16yo self adored.

      • Mojeaux

        I was thinking about explaining this further, but then decided to try to write an article on this.

      • Suthenboy

        Exactly. Fantasizing is fine just keep in mind that some really fun fantasies are best left just that, fantasy.

  20. pan fried wylie

    I can’t think of another presidential race where “none of the above” probably could have won had it been offered.

    I dunno. If NOTA had been a std option since the founding, I could see an entirely different history where voting for the lesser evil didn’t become typical.

    • KSuellington

      I’ve been a huge proponent of a “none of the above” for years. It would be the best way to get rid of incumbents, especially in Deep Blue or Red districts. Make it that it “none” gets the majority then another election is held in a few months in which all the previous candidates that got “noned” couldn’t run in the immediate follow up. Rinse and repeat until an acceptable candidate is chosen. It would make voting much better.

      • R C Dean

        “Make it that it “none” gets the majority”

        I would go with plurality. In three way races in the US, the winner is typically the one with the most votes even if it’s not a majority of votes cast.

      • DrOtto

        Or, God forbid, leave the office empty till next election season. No new bills may pass and no budget changes. A guy can dream, can’t he?

  21. DEG

    Very important sports news

    A British chestnut-whacking champion was cleared Monday of cheating after an investigation into alleged malfeasance at the World Conker Championships.

    Organizers of the nutty annual event said that Dave Jakins, a veteran competitor nicknamed “King Conker,” did not use a steel chestnut to conquer his rival.

    The traditional game, played by generations of British schoolchildren, involves players using conkers — the glossy brown seeds of the horse chestnut tree — threaded onto a string to try and smash their opponent’s chestnut.

    • Rat on a train

      My wife often orders “What are you getting?” or “I need more time.”

    • slumbrew

      TIWTANFL

  22. DrOtto

    Does anyone else remember Trump playing homeless for a night or 2 in a NYC homeless shelter? It was in the late eighties/early nineties. They even elude to it in the Beastie Boys song Johnny Ryall – “Donald Trump and Donald Tramp living in a men’s shelter. Wonder bread bag shoes and singing Helter Skelter.”

  23. Evan from Evansville

    Tgovailoa was placed on injured reserve after he was diagnosed with a concussion in Week 2, the third diagnosed concussion of his NFL career.. .Tagovailoa spent the past month resting and meeting with “several” neurologists.. ..He also said he won’t be wearing a Guardian Cap when he returns.. “I’ve got to be smart,” the brain-damaged QB said.

    I kinda get it, but for fuck’s sake. If people actually gave a shit, which Tgo and many Higher-Ups *clearly* doesn’t, they’d remove all helmets to reduce lesson concussions/ TBIs. Kids grow learning to tackle at the hips with their shoulders. Pro rugby doesn’t have nearly as many head injuries. Cuz kids learn hittin’ your head really fucking hurts. <– I only 'played' a park fun game w friends and many chats about our sports along the way. I wish rugby were much more popular. Probably my third favorite to watch/play; after hockey and baseball. (I'll also watch billiards, darts or whatev.)

    • UnCivilServant

      You’re on the wrong article.