Suggestions for the Well Dressed Orphan Part VII

by | Oct 19, 2024 | Beer, Food & Drink, Fun, Halloween, Libertarianism, Pastimes | 64 comments

This may be the seventh (!) installment of this annual feature, but the first in the new WordPress editor. May God have mercy on us all.

This is my review of Enegren The Lightest One (Helles Lager):

As always, we find the most creative, most thought provoking Halloween costume ideas for your orphans, or maybe even those of you that actually still trick or treat. Hey its possible, right?

Up first, the Fentanyl Dealer:

You will need: Fentanyl (obviously). Also handy is a multimillion dollar startup that requires the current Medicare Part D system to remain in place. Why? Because your sold the startup as some kind of tech wizardry when it really is just a simple sell at wholesale pricing scheme undercutting Medicare Part D retail pricing. Then simp for the establishment to maintain the system you are undercutting until you achieve net profitability, then finally go public and cash out for billions on your tech startup before it files Ch. 11.

Up next, S&M Fetishist:

You will need: A $10,000 bounty from the Old Man and the ability to show proof of sodomy. Also could be called Double Amputee Fetishist.

Up next, Sgt. York:

You will need: A ego bigger than your balls, which explains the near constant debasing since becoming a public figure. That’s probably it.

Up next, The Itty Bitty Titty Committee:

You will need: A body shaming hit piece from Slate, written by an idiot that might actually pass the physiognomy test. Oddly enough.

Up next, a White Dude for Harris:

You will need: Willingness to accept money from a pedophile club in exchange for decades of credibility.

…and finally, Zombie Carter:

You will need: a soul to sell in exchange for being able to bear witness to political failure greater than your own. What’s the O/U on him living to 120?

Helles! It takes me back to like, 2021 (I think) when brewers decided to make Helles instead of Pilsner to differentiate themselves among the yellow, non-threatening lager crowd. There is no niche too small in this market. This one is another good offering from a CA based brewer that simply makes German beer. Nothing crazy, follows rules set by medieval top men, and leaves me disappointed they didn’t put out an Oktoberfest. Enegren The Lightest One (Helles Lager): 3.5/5

About The Author

mexican sharpshooter

mexican sharpshooter

WARNING: Glibertarians.com contains chemicals known to the State of California to cause cancer and birth defects or other reproductive harm. https://youtu.be/qiAyX9q4GIQ?t=2m22s

64 Comments

  1. The Late P Brooks

    In honor of Oktoberfest (or something) I picked up a twelve pack of Michelob Amber Bock. It was unspectacularly drinkable.

    *I think bocks have something to do with springtime

  2. The Late P Brooks

    Beer is pretty expensive, these days, if you wander out of the mass market stuff. Pacifico, for example. seems to be significantly more pricier than when i was drinking it on a regular basis.

    It’s all relative, of course.

    • Drake

      Yes – I’m not a big drinker but beer in particular seems to have almost doubled in the stores in the last 4 years.

      • Nephilium

        There are multiple reasons for the price of beer going up. The main one is the cost of ingredients and supplies have jumped up. I know several breweries who cancelled planned expansions as the building costs had more than tripled between 2019 and 2022.

  3. The Late P Brooks

    Jimmeh can go to his eternal rest secure in the redemptive power of having voted for a black woman to fill the highest office in the land.

      • Grummun

        Zounds!

        Right? Who knew tiny Gray-shot OH was home to the worlds largest hot rod shop?

      • Gender Traitor

        “She’s wearing glasses?”/all the other straight male Glibs

      • DEG

        “She’s wearing glasses?”/all the other straight male Glibs

        I had to bring the picture up again.

        Oh yeah.

      • The Artist Formerly Known as Lackadaisical

        I did seriously have to go back and check if she was wearing them. And I’m not even a boob-dude.

    • mexican sharpshooter

      Let’s face it- Sidney Sweeney is no Linda Vaughn

      You shut your whore mouth. Where’s the cat butt!?

      *flips table*

  4. Tundra

    I think those bewbs are just right. Not sure what the tard is on about.

    Sam Elliott turning out to be a piece of shit isn’t necessarily surprising but it sure is disappointing.

    Sometimes a nice inoffensive beer is just the ticket. Thanks for the review!

    • Ownbestenemy

      But are Sweeney’s really at the top end of the size spectrum here—or is it just that she’s a tiny blond white woman?

      Are people even saying she is on the top end? Just a bitter woman I suspect

      • R C Dean

        Not even close. But very fine. I’m not a fan of cartoonishly huge, but YMMV NTTAWWT.

      • Spudalicious

        Sydney is delightful with lovely hand full sized boobs.

    • Drake

      She’s perfectly proportioned, not some cartoonish porn chick.

    • rhywun

      Sam Elliott turning out to be a piece of shit isn’t necessarily surprising but it sure is disappointing.

      He really is his character in Parks & Rec.

      • Gustave Lytton

        My wife saw him at the local home improvement store parking lot. He drives exactly the car you’d expect one of his characters to drive.

      • Timeloose

        Vintage Bronco or Ramcharger?

  5. juris imprudent

    This pic of Greta turned up on FB with the caption “when someone turns on your vibrating egg at the wrong time”.

    • R C Dean

      Yeah, she kinda porked up and got homelier. Which is impressive in its way.

    • mexican sharpshooter

      đź‘Ź Golf đź‘Ź Clap đź‘Ź

  6. The Late P Brooks

    This pic of Greta turned up on FB with the caption “when someone turns on your vibrating egg at the wrong time”.

    Funny, I was looking at the expression on her face in the photo above and thinking she seems to really be enjoying herself. I guess it’s that Joan of Arc raped-by-demons fetish

    • Fourscore

      Looks like she got picked up by the fuzz.

    • Evan from Evansville

      That right there, a DAMN solid and legit LOL. Well-worth the click.

    • Suthenboy

      The greta thing, like all things progressive, is just theater.

  7. DEG

    Up next, The Itty Bitty Titty Committee:

    There are bigger out there.

    There is no niche too small in this market.

    Heh.

    The beer looks good.

    • rhywun

      Literal commie pope, now. Whee!

  8. Evan from Evansville

    But are Sweeney’s really at the top end of the size spectrum here—or is it just that she’s a tiny blond white woman?

    Goddammit. Yes to both, but only if BOTH. It ain’t complicated. Big tits ain’t rare. Having them proportioned on a skinny gal gives them a special quality called rarity, which is sexy. Fat chicks were hot-as-balls when food was scarce. For good cause. In a swamp of obesity, thin & fit is hot. THEN add striking a example of mans’ primal visual sexual signals of youth+fertility? Whoddathunk men would be drawn to such?!

    Well, I never! I rather prefer smaller gals. As in, smaller than me. But I’m 5’6″ and ~130. Bro is 5’4,” maybe 115. Dad is 6’2″ and Mom, 4’10”. <– Huh.

  9. The Late P Brooks

    Axios headline:

    Political titans Barack and Michelle Obama to join Harris on trail

    “Political TITANS”?

    WTFSRSLYY?

    • Evan from Evansville

      Jesus. The hagiography continues. What a fucking shitty president. Glad I didn’t vote for him like my high school First Voters.

      I *AM* glad (to think?) that with his $50M Netflix, book and speaking dues, he’s (mostly) happy to just enjoy the fucking money and party. His daughters are in their 20s, I think. Go out and have fun, Barry! Just… fucking don’t do anything political ever again. (<– That dream isn't coming true.)

      • dbleagle

        By the balls of Odin save us from that fate.

    • Urthona

      I find that designation pretty fair.

      I mean arguably they’ve controlled half of American politics for over a decade.

      • ZWAK, doktor of BRAIN SCIENCE!

        Yeah, shitty pres or not, he was beloved by half the country for a decade.

    • Suthenboy

      When that slickshit Obama is your last hope…..

  10. The Late P Brooks

    You have to wonder if they dangled a seat on the Supreme Court to get him motivated?

    Clarence Thomas isn’t getting any younger. And- as we all know, black men are basically interchangeable.

    • Urthona

      Ugh.

      Please keep that sanctimonious douchebag away.

      Go trump.

  11. cyto

    That was a fun… whatever that was. Thanks Mex

    • mexican sharpshooter

      You’re very welcome

  12. cyto

    Illinois playing on CBS. Very cool throwback uniforms have fake leather helmets

  13. Not Adahn

    This scene here could came come directly out of my childhood, except for a better quality television.

    Extended family gathered in a long room watching OU on tv, snack food piled on a table. The weather here is perfect. October is a great month in OK.

  14. The Late P Brooks

    Nobody I know

    “I think there’s a silent majority. I think there’s a silent group of women who will crawl over broken glass to vote against Trump and who will quietly vote for Harris,” Comstock told The Daily Beast on Tuesday night.

    And there isn’t a single solitary woman out there who might quietly vote for Trump? Women who love children? Who are repulsed by the Democrats’ all abortion all the time fanaticism and the new obsession with gender identitarianism?

    • Urthona

      I truly believe no one knows.

      Obama actually outperformed the polls significantly the first time.

      As did Trump.

      This thing looks 50/50 right now and absolutely nothing would surprise me.

    • cyto

      They are trying to cover every Trump position. This one is nuts.

      In what world is it not safe to say you support Kamala. That was the Trump polling narrative.

      • DrOtto

        She the underdog, I heard her say it.

    • juris imprudent

      a silent group of women

      The women who are going to vote against Trump (regardless of who they are voting for) are anything but silent.

      If only.

    • The Other Kevin

      Nobody who votes for Harris does so quietly.

  15. cyto

    In news of the weird

    I took a tour of the various news stations and shows. Wow, the gaslighting crew is out in force.

    Did you know that Kamala actually did great in her Fox interview? Yeah… she actually had the entire democrat party energized. Probably won over some Republicans too.

    Yeah, despite republican talking points that try to claim that Kamala didn’t do well, she actually did great. Republicans are trying to hold on by pretending that they did well.

    • Urthona

      I’d didn’t watch because I was afraid of losing my dinner. Hard to imagine her doing well in any interview though.

      • Spudalicious

        Well, Brett Baier ate her lunch.

      • ZWAK, doktor of BRAIN SCIENCE!

        I wouldn’t say Brett spanked her, but I would say she spanked herself. She sounded, not shrill, but like a walking talking point who doesn’t really know what she stands for, other than Blue(no matter who). Also, she cannot talk to an unfriendly person. Zero political skill.

        Also, if you have to tell everyone you are teh winnar, you ain’t.

    • juris imprudent

      And if you watch it yourself, don’t believe your lying eyes and ears – we are telling you how amazing she was!

      • ZWAK, doktor of BRAIN SCIENCE!

        Pshaw, like any self respecting Blue(know matter who) would watch FAUX!

  16. The Late P Brooks

    I truly believe no one knows.

    I absolutely agree. However, stories about how the vast majority of women despise Trump are a crock of shit, and reek of desperate whistling past the graveyard.

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