Barbie & Kendra Crash Joe Bob’s Drive-In Jamboree

by | Nov 7, 2024 | Film, Fun, GlibFlick | 172 comments

GUILTY of drinking while Zooming, and then losing one of my googly eyes. This is a shot from work Wednesday afternoon, with my swollen, hungover head and hastily reinstalled eye.

Barbie & Kendra Crash Joe Bob’s Drive-In Jamboree

The election is over, and it defied all my expectations. I expected a long, protracted BS session before the president was chosen, and crap tons of litigation over a close call in many states. Definitely not what happened.

What did happen is that I stayed up late with you folks, guzzled Bulleit Rye Whiskey, and did not write up a movie post. I didn’t even find my left googly eye until noon on Wednesday, just about an hour ago. It rolled under the couch and got covered in cat hair. Dammit!

So here we are. We have a new president, full of entertainment value. I very much look forward to four years of not-communism, followed by hopefully eight more years of not-communism. I also hope the wretched tree of globalism withers and dies quickly over the next four years. I have been hearing about the retarded “new world order” bullshit since 1990. Ha! you were expecting a different song? Seriously, globalism has worn out its welcome. The original leaders are all dying and their acolytes are useless proles. Exit stage left, global commies!

I suppose that’s enough hungover ranting. Nobody comes here for that. You all come here to put politics behind you and talk about gardening! So on with the movie!

Barbie and Kendra are back! We have previously enjoyed this duo in the beloved CORONA ZOMBIES and in Barbie and Kendra Save the Tiger King. Tonight, they team up with Joe Bob Briggs to save a movie theater in Las Vegas. This movie very much follows the previous formula, where Barbie and Kendra have a light main plot mixed with redubbed movies sprinkled throughout the show. Turn your mind off and enjoy. The election is over! In case you are wondering, the movie does actually have Joe Bob in it. It also has tons of bad jokes, many of which I expect to see in future comments! Worry about the communist death squads hunting libertarians for putting Trump over the top later.

So watch! Or don’t! Everything is voluntary! No, really, most things (besides taxes) may remain voluntary for another four years. We shall see. I personally would like all the electric car mandate crap to stop. That would be nice. How about all of you?

Note: I will be rebuilding the movie schedule for November and December and will have that ready by next week.

About The Author

R.J.

R.J.

Hello. My name is R.J. I am a Tulpa with extra cheese and sour cream.

172 Comments

  1. Common Tater

    I don’t like the new front page. This post wasn’t even first.

    • R.J.

      I saw that. Triggered!

      • Common Tater

        Was that something webdom did, or was it WordPress?

      • R.J.

        It’s WordPress. We have very little control.

      • Common Tater

        “We have very little control.”

        I thought this was America!

    • Chafed

      #MeToo. But I could live with it if the dancing Trump gif that was there the other day was pinned to the top.

    • Pope Jimbo

      I concur. I was wondering what happened to all the other normal midday posts.

      I finally scrolled down and saw them.

  2. Aloysious

    Nice picture.

    Can you do a series on skin care? Soft as a babies butt, it looks.

    *Judo kicks play button*

    • R.J.

      The sad thing is I ordered these “alien hands” for just such an occasion as a new avatar photo. I was so excited! They arrived – and they were little plastic Archie McPhee hands about 2 inches long. I was so depressed.

      • Ted S.

        You probably ordered an 18″ Stonehenge too, didn’t you?

      • Common Tater

        “You probably ordered an 18″ Stonehenge too, didn’t you?”

        That would be a weird dildo.

      • R.J.

        Excellent reference.

      • Chafed

        Kudos on the photo.

  3. Common Tater

    “This is a shot from work Wednesday afternoon, with my swollen, hungover head and hastily reinstalled eye.”

    That’s OK, I threw out my back Monday morning.

  4. Aloysious

    Wait… you got pussy hair all over your eyeball? That had to be uncomfortable.

    • Common Tater

      A bare floor always matches the drapes.

  5. Common Tater

    I’m glad the election was so decisive too. I was dreading a Maricopa/Philly situation that dragged on for weeks.

    • R.J.

      Dershowitz was talking about that right before the election. He wanted it to be decisive too, but part of him wanted it to be close so so he could revel in all the hypocritical stolen election crap coming from the dems.

    • rhywun

      #metoo

      Astonished how it actually went down.

      • Common Tater

        Cynical me thinks the MIC/DS thought Kamala was just too stupid

  6. Common Tater

    “How about all of you?”

    I’m glad I people will stop asking me to translate Kamala word salad.

  7. Aloysious

    Ah yes, the old ‘munching carpet’ diet. That’s a good one. Very low-cal.

  8. DEG

    Turn your mind off and enjoy.

    I have some stuff at work that needs done.

    I’ll queue this up for later viewing. Thanks RJ!

    • Common Tater

      I need to figure out how to do that AI stuff.

      • R.J.

        That one is outstanding.

      • Common Tater

        Writing funny scripts doesn’t seem that difficult. At least not for me. I just don’t know how to do the technical stuff.

  9. Aloysious

    “If you want me to pet a pussy, that’ll be $300. Because I’m allergic to cats.”

    There seems to be a theme…

  10. Aloysious

    Lots of sweaty romance. The classiest romance.

    • Common Tater

      Drinking won’t improve his shooting.

    • Chafed

      Idiot with a neck tattoo is gonna idiot with a neck tattoo.

  11. Aloysious

    Hey! You girls stop that!

  12. R.J.

    The Great FaceBook Banning has begun. All the libs are banning their friends who voted for Trump. Losers, all of them. I imagine all the Trump voters will leave the platform entirely. Will we see a massive loss for Facebook?

    • Aloysious

      I’ve got a brother who has been spamming the Facebook with radical abolish capitalism propaganda.

      I seriously think the election broke him mentally.

    • Common Tater

      I’ve never been on FaceBook.

      I remember the 90’s and 2000’s when no one cared about their friend’s politics.

      • Chafed

        Good times

      • Pope Jimbo

        I got on very early. I wrote a stupid “app” for Facebook and to do that I had to sign up. The only use I had for it was to be able to contact my Japanese nieces (NO, put it back in your pants!) who changed email addresses every 3 days or so.

        I got off in 2015 when a) a good friend from Memphis State demanded that any Trump voters unfollow him and b) I was made jealous by a post from a high school friend who I know is barely eking by but her post made it seem like she was living The Life.

        So I canceled it all. It was pretty tough back then to make them actually delete your account and not just suspend it.

    • Ed Wuncler

      It was like that during COVD too. I got “defriended” because I defended people who didn’t want to take the suped up flu shot. I responded after their tirade that I haven’t seen them in 6 years and we barely talk, so go right ahead and defriend me. It’s sort of like that kindergarten mentality where a kid would use the, “If you don’t do what I ask you we aren’t friends anymore,” sort of thing.

      • R.J.

        I was never really on there. I am amused, though. This is my only social media.

      • rhywun

        This is my only social media.

        Same. I tried out some of the big players and quickly realized how much I hate pointless tedium, even from my friends.

      • Common Tater

        I’ve never been on any social media platform.

    • Mojeaux

      I’m pretty much giving up on Facebook. The same lefties who loved my libertarian/conservative books are now just hateful cunts and I’m tired of being called stupid.

      I don’t know what thought process leads them to believe that calling people names will get them a sympathetic hearing or sudden enlightenment, but it’s hateful as fuck. It’s like the evangelical practice of telling people they’re going to hell. Well, okay, that’s YOUR hell, not MY hell cuz I don’t have one.

      People are cutting off their families over this. Is this what it was like in the Civil War when families turned on each other?

      We’re gonna see a civil war sooner than later if this keeps up.

      • SarumanTheGreat

        They’re not looking for sympathy or enlightenment. They’re looking for affirmation from fellow leftists who also call everyone not iin political/social lockstep with them stupid crazy evil Nazis.

        “Is this what it was like in the Civil War when families turned on each other?”

        Yepper. Not supporting ‘The Peculiar Institution’ was enough to get you disowned.

    • Not Adahn

      Fetlife is full of women demanding that all republicans block them and stop looking at their pictures.

      AFAICT, these are mostly serious, and not an advertising tactic.

    • rhywun

      Pretty sure I heard that Orange improved with that age bigly over 20202.

      And yeah, getting rid of her has already been noted as a Good Idea by some pundits.

      • Pope Jimbo

        I heard on some podcast (don’t have the source and the Daily Drinking has begun) that Trump won the First Time Voters cohort bigly this election. After losing it bigly last election.

    • Common Tater

      She got fired from MSNBC after Joy Reid threatened to climb the Empire State building.

      • R.J.

        Ha!

      • Chafed

        Ouch

  13. Aloysious

    You know, with the number of cheesy jokes in this movie, I figured Swiss would be beating down the door to watch this flick.

    • R.J.

      Definitely!

      Were you around to see Corona Zombies? That was the absolute best of the series.

      • Aloysious

        i tried to watch it after getting off work, and fell asleep on my PC.

        i have time tonight, I should try again.

      • Common Tater

        I enjoyed Tiger King more. Sad that guy died. He was great on AMS.

      • Common Tater

        Woops! AHS American Horror Story

      • R.J.

        Yes! That was Leslie Jordan. “Barbie and Kendra Save the Tiger King” was one of his last films. “Until We Meet Again” technically qualifies as his last film, released two years later.

  14. Aloysious

    I’d watch CRASH! looks like 70’s kind of fun.

    • Gustave Lytton

      I’m willing to stand up a program where US citizens married to illegal aliens can renounce their citizenship on an expedited basis and waive the exit tax.

  15. Aloysious

    I was momentarily confused. I tried looking up Diana Prince aka Darcy the mail girl and got a porn star instead.

    • slumbrew

      “his service revolver and badge were taken”

      His service revolver? Really? I have doubts.

  16. Common Tater

    Should I buy a weed grinder?

    • R.J.

      Depends. Do you have any weed to grind?

    • pistoffnick (370HSSV)

      It continues to amaze me that you need permission to smoke a plant that grows naturally throughout most of the US.

      • Gustave Lytton

        No permission here. Degenerates smoke their crap openly. Regular stench everywhere. I’m ready for Drug War 2.0: Psychedelic Bugaloo.

      • rhywun

        Degenerates smoke their crap openly. Regular stench everywhere.

        Yeah, early days here in NY but it’s headed in the same direction.

      • ZWAK, doktor of BRAIN SCIENCE!

        And the number of boomers driving around stoned off of their asses goes through the roof.

        Plays hell with traffic.

      • Gustave Lytton

        At a hotel, don’t have my mini router. It thinks it’s connected to the Internet and aborts the hotel connect process midstream.

      • R.J.

        Ugh. No easy solution there, unless you can stay on the cell network and stream from your phone, or use it as a hotspot.

      • Gustave Lytton

        I gave up. Have to get up early and can’t fall asleep. At least there’s streaming options on the hotel tv.

  17. groat scotum

    How does one go about believing in God when one has no upbringing …? I’ve nothing to construe for belief, I don’t know how to begin. I was raised by atheists, and they’re pretty adamant about it. I used to think I was an atheist, but I realized I’m necessarily agnostic on account of not having any declaration against a conception of God. So: how do I go about believing in God?

    • groat scotum

      I yearn for some conception of immanence. Is that it? The belief that belief itself will deliver something immanent?

      • groat scotum

        Or it’s the opposite: I’m drowning in the shallow waters of my understanding of Christ and God.

      • groat scotum

        pretty obvious I’m drowning

        idiot

      • slumbrew

        I can’t tell you for sure, but my close friend went on a search for a spiritual home after being raised without anything.

        He tried out various faiths and churches.

        He quite liked the Quakers, but ultimately couldn’t accept the total pacifism.

        He was impressed by the consistency of Calvinism, but that is an awfully tough sect (“Total Depravity. Unconditional Election. Limited Atonement.” etc).

        He ultimately ended up with the Catholics but in no small part because his father reconnected with his lapsed catholicism later in life.

        What I’m saying is – go seek out others and see if it resonates.

      • Nephilium

        Definitely not the best to talk on this, but what are the questions, what are the doubts? What are you looking for? What faiths match with your morality?

      • R.J.

        Faith is individual. It is yours, it does not belong to a particular church nor does it require one. Download a free bible, or grab one you like and start reading the chapters that interest you. Stories about David and the failures of kings in Chronicles are a good start if you don’t know where to begin. Skip around, then move to the New Testament. A proper church can wait. You can learn a lot from just reading.

      • Gustave Lytton

        I’m not a proselytizer but my own journey started as raised in it, left it because I was young annd thought I knew better, and returning to it thanks to my wife and Glibs.

        Reading the Bible as an adult with a different perspective has shown a new light to me on familiar stories. I’ve also found commentary helpful in developing an understanding.

      • pistoffnick (370HSSV)

        Why do you think you need a deity?

        My question as well*

        *as a non- deist

      • groat scotum

        Smarter people than I am have faith in something I can’t see.

      • Mojeaux

        Smarter people than I am have faith in something I can’t see.

        I find this to be deeply profound.

        If it were me, I’d probably start wondering how life came about, but I’m a creative, so making things is kinda what I do and it’s how I look at the world.

      • groat scotum

        I’m worried about my sister. She’s casting about for something. I asked her, tonight, out of desperation, to accept Jesus into her heart. I don’t believe in God. I’m not a Christian. But I’m desperate she accept Jesus. Curse me if I’m a heretic, but what the fuck can I do? I want her to find peace. I don’t know how else to put it.

      • Mojeaux

        Faith has to be developed and nurtured.

        Does she have a speck of hope in anything? A sliver of a purpose? A hint of a goal?

        If she’s got a mental health crisis going on, a sudden religious epiphany isn’t going to help. Maybe she needs a hospital and some good drugs?

      • groat scotum

        She’s the mother of four children. And she’s obsessed with Trump-level conspiracy theories

      • groat scotum

        The unfortunate thing is she refers to Jesus Christ and God in those terms.

        And I, an ingenue about these things, have no idea.

      • Mojeaux

        I wish I knew what to say. It sounds to me like she needs an anxiety medication. It definitely helped me with my freakouts when my kids were young. It got me out of my Obama conspiracy theories that made me dump a ton of money into prepping. Badly.

        Faith in a deity is not only a way mankind has coped with bad things that happen throughout the ages, it also answers where we come from and where we’re going when we die.

        Jesus was not as much concerned about people’s temporal needs insofar as it related to his mission. “Render unto Caesar that which is Caesar’s and render unto God that which is God’s.” He spoke of the afterlife and gave a few common sense instructions about living life using parables (e.g., parable of the talents).

        But I’ll offer this from our scriptures: “…if the very jaws of hell shall gape open the mouth wide after thee, know thou, my son, that all these things shall give thee experience, and shall be for thy good.”

        Also, being a mother is extraordinarily stressful. Maybe offer to take the kids for a couple of days so she can catch a breath.

      • pistoffnick (370HSSV)

        Smarter people than I am have faith in something I can’t see.

        \

        People jump off bridges because others tell them it is safe.
        People take jabs of an untested vaccine because others tell them it is safe.
        People vote for a certain political candydates because others tell them it is safe/expected.

        YOU ARE SMARTER THAN YOU THINK. There are only individuals – trying to make their way.

        There are only individuals – trying to make their way.

    • Pope Jimbo

      Let’s talk about the glory of tithing. I may have a perfect place for you in my Church.

      Seriously, I hope you find what you are looking for. I long ago stopped saying I was an atheist because they seemed as dogmatic as any church. I now say I am a non-believer. Don’t know, don’t care. Maybe Apathetic (as opposed to Agnostic) would be a better label?

    • trshmnstr

      Read the book of Romans. It’s the most direct statement of the faith in the Bible. If it resonates, read the gospel of John. If you’re still interested, pick other books to read.

      Don’t bother trying to fully grasp every nuance on the first read through. I’m still learning new things 10+ years into my faith. There are still many times that I read a passage and get the feeling that I’m missing the point.

      Pray alongside your reading. Don’t overcomplicate it. Just have a conversation with God. It may not change anything about the situation. It may surprise you how helpful it is. The only thing I’d say is give yourself some quiet time during the prayer. Let your mind be silent and see what happens. Again, it may be that nothing happens, or it may be that something profound happens.

      I’ll be praying for you, brother. Let me know if there’s anything you need or want to talk about.

  18. pistoffnick (370HSSV)

    The first civil war was over a 3% tax on just tea.

    Why aren’t we revolutioning over a near 50% percent tax on everything.

    Why aren’t we burning down buildings over an excessive taxes?

    Why aren’t we tarring and feathering more tax collectors?

    /when I had to change my adopted daughter’s name (we renamed her) on her Social Security card, I had to leave my pocket knife in my truck. I have carried a pocket knife since 4th grade. I ain’t never killed no one with my pocket knife.

    /why is this world so fucked up?

    • R.J.

      I was just talking to my daughter about that. Somehow we went from the bright, shiny 1950s to the shitty Brutalist 70s. Something happened in the 1970s, besides just the whole fall from exiting the Gold Standard.

      • R.J.

        Speaking of the shiny 1950s, this AI guy is back with a remade 1950s Panavision version of “RoboCop.” Previously I showed his effort with the Jetsons which was… Fantastic.

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YjirVy5Q49w

      • slumbrew

        I’d watch the fuck out of that.

        Clarence Boddicker was such a great villain; physically unassuming, but smart and vicious.

    • The Hyperbole

      Because deep down we know that it’s all fake money anyway, the amounts don’t matter it’s what you can get/your quality of life that matters. They raise taxes, I raise my prices, they print more money, people pay my raised prices and I still live in the same shitty shack and drive the same shitty van and eat and drink very well (because that is where my priorities lay) as before the increase. Why am I going to take up arms just because some other assholes are using the system to live far better than me? I’m content with what I have and so far they haven’t tried to take that away.

      • Suthenboy

        Very important points. That last bit – so far they haven’t tried to take that away – is especially worth noting.
        So far. They will. That is what electric cars are about, replacing a very good system of transportation with one that does not work. They are going after freedom of movement in their usual manner….boil the frog.

    • Gustave Lytton

      Ten years ago, you could open carry (or concealed carry) into the statehouse and was open to the public almost completely. The other day I drove by and noticed they now have metal detectors at all of the entrances. Upset me quite a bit.

    • PieInTheSky

      because men these days are soft and weak and comfortable and numb and there is still sportsball on the TV and you can afford food and beer and whisky, and the heat/AC are still keeping most home nice by historic standards.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        Yep, if you have a reliable source of food and a roof over your head it’s hard to risk your ass for abstract political ideas.

  19. pistoffnick (370HSSV)

    You shameless fucks have to work tomorrow.

    Me? Ima shoot watch for bucks, drink copious amounts of mixed vodka, cook some amazing food for my fellow deer slayers, live it up Minnesoda style.

    • Rat on a train

      I must be a shameful fuck because I am not working.

  20. Mojeaux

    Sitting here reading a book I wrote, not knowing how, totally disconnected, and listening to torch songs. Which is all to say, I love Cybill Shepherd’s voice.

    • Ted S.

      Trump won and now people SugarFree their links severely.

  21. UnCivilServant

    Morning.

    Pinched my finger in the mechanism of a pellet gun, now I’m waiting for the blister to form.

    Woke up at the normal time – for before the clock change. Sat around not talking to you guys.

    • Sean

      Might have to amputate.

      • UnCivilServant

        It’s my middle finger, I have to keep it, I particularly need that one these days.

      • Pope Jimbo

        Do you know how much it would cost UCS to buy all new 4-fingered gloves (not just the driving ones)?!

    • Gender Traitor

      Good morning, U, Sean, Roat, Teh Hype, Stinky, Ted’S., and…GL? Are you in a different time zone or just insomniacal? And good afternoon, Pie, if you’re still around.

      Pinched my finger in the mechanism of a pellet gun, now I’m waiting for the blister to form.

      But you shoulda seen the other guy!

    • Not Adahn

      Yes, but did you get the mouse?

      • Sean

        😉

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      It’ll be interesting to see if they try to follow the Raskin plan to screw Trump now but the popular vote win might have strangled that in the crib.

      • Ted S.

        Looks like Team Red will scrape by with a narrow majority in the House.

    • Gustave Lytton

      Amazing that his dad was the Casey in Casey v Planned Parenthood. Any prolife democrats left?

      Doubly happy to see a nepotist defeated.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Although McCormick looks like a typical RepE swamp creature.

  22. rhywun

    Never change, Europe.

    Hundreds of fans of the Maccabi Tel Aviv soccer club were targeted as they walked out of the stadium following a Europa League game against a Dutch team, AFC Ajax, the Israeli Embassy to the United States said.

    • Ted S.

      Others are claiming Maccabi fans were jeering during a minute of silence for the Spanish flood victims.

      • rhywun

        That sounds believable. 🙄

      • Ted S.

        Maccabi Tel Aviv was trending on Twitter, which is where i saw the videos posted. I don’t speak any of the languages involved, so I can’t judge.

      • rhywun

        In all my years I’ve never witnessed anyone* jeering during such a moment of silence.

        *not British

  23. DEG

    Mornin’ folks.

    Gym time.

    • PieInTheSky

      it is most effective, based on science, to go to the gym in the early afternoon not in the morning.

  24. PieInTheSky

    Comments from a YouTube

    @froggybangbang
    14 hours ago (edited)
    Morgan, this video falls perfectly with post covid booster sick day!😂 no sudden noises, gentle chicken noises. Perfect.
    18
    @Kymberlee_W
    1 hour ago
    Me too… I got my COVID booster this morning & the aches have begun already. Ugh.

    I should not judge but I am shocked people still take covid boosters especially since it makes them sick.

    • Ownbestenemy

      Propaganda is effective for a reason. It breaks that individuals ability to reason with new information.

  25. Not Adahn

    Apparently there’s a new racism hoax going down. NPR’s hair is on fire.

  26. Tres Cool

    suh’ fam
    yo whats goody

    TALL BUCKEYE CANS!

  27. cavalier973

    For Groat Scotum:

    Here is my pitch.

    Jesus of Nazareth died on the cross for our sins, in accordance with ancient Hebrew prophecies, recorded in ancient Hebrew Scriptures. He was buried, and rose again from the dead, i accordance with ancient Hebrew prophecies, recorded in ancient Hebrew Scriptures.
    He was seen by eyewitnesses, who testified that he was walking around alive after having died on the cross.

    That is the only evidence we are going to get—eyewitnesses.

    Anyone who believes in this Jesus will be saved. Save from what?

    Saved from eternal separation from the God who created him.

    I don’t hear Divine voices in my head. I don’t see mystical visions.

    I just accept as true something I cannot prove.

    Salvation is a gift from God. It isn’t something we do for God.

    There is confusion over what belief is.

    If you have a doctor you trust, and he says you’ve got this sickness and here’s a prescription. Do you take what he says as true? Do you get the prescription filled and take it?

    If your spouse says, “don’t worry about going to the pharmacy; I will stop by and pick up the prescription at lunch time and bring it to you.”

    Do you believe that your spouse will do this?

    If the Bible says to believe in Jesus, and you will be saved, do you accept this as true, and trust that, whatever happens, Jesus will get you into heaven?

    He handles all arrangements, He already made full payment of our debt owed to God by His death on the cross.

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