Cryptids or common voters, where you live?

STEVE SMITH ANXIOUS. HIM WONDER CASCADIA GET VOTE FREE TONIGHT! HIM READY CHALLENGE VOTE. HIM PROMINENT FOREST LAWYER. BY CHALLENGE VOTE, MEAN…

SEA SMITH SAY IT NO HE FAULT! HE NO THERE, HE GO VOTE. IT NOT WORK GOOD. HE SCARE ALL HOOMANS OUT OF BUILDING. NO FAIR!

ZARDOZ SPEAKS TO YOU, HIS CHOSEN ONES. MAKE SURE YOU VOTE FOR ZED FOR YOUR LEADER. HE WILL CONTINUE THE CLEANSING OF THE FILTH OF BRUTALS WHO PLAGUE THE EARTH!

ZARDOZ HAS SPOKEN.

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Glib Staff

Glib Staff

206 Comments

  1. Ownbestenemy

    Where is Bigfoot and why no he come…and by cum, I mean come

  2. Pope Jimbo

    Is STEVE SMITH going to implement a POLE TAX?

  3. DEG

    ZARDOZ SPEAKS TO YOU, HIS CHOSEN ONES. MAKE SURE YOU VOTE FOR ZED FOR YOUR LEADER. HE WILL CONTINUE THE CLEANSING OF THE FILTH OF BRUTALS WHO PLAGUE THE EARTH!

    And the gift of the gun too right?

  4. Pope Jimbo

    My worst fear did not come to pass. I was semi-terrified that the Deep State would decide that the way to nail down the election would be to have a MAGA guy assassinate Kamala.

    Sure, Kamala wouldn’t be president, but King Walz would be. That would be worse.

    • cyto

      They are building some sort of platform at the White House.

      Wild ass speculation was that they were going to install Kamala early to replace Biden

      • J. Frank Parnell

        At one point I guessed that, if Trump won, Biden would step down early so Kamala could have her spot in the history books, but now I’m pretty sure Biden hates her guts and is going to claim he would have won and spend the last months of his presidency rubbing that shit in her face.

  5. LCDR_Fish

    By the by, NRO was giving at least 52 senate seats to the elephants in their podcast yesterday. Dan McLaughlin was leaning up to 54 – but then he couldn’t remember which was the 54th.

  6. cyto

    Florida has 79% reporting 8 minutes after the polls close. The 3rd largest state in the country.

    Pennsylvania… 3%

    • cyto

      8:15

      100% of the Florida result is in.

      • cyto

        Sorry. Website glitch.

        88.4%

      • cyto

        8:18. Pennsylvania

        7.2 %

        Really?

    • kinnath

      In contrast, NY Times provides this useful info:

      Arizona: First results are expected around 10 p.m. Eastern time. Most voters cast ballots by mail, and counting typically takes days. Officials in Maricopa County said full tabulation could take 10 to 13 days.

      Perfect system for cheating.

      • cyto

        Yup. Wait till the tallies are in, then figure out how many votes you need.

      • Common Tater

        I remember when retirees with pencils got it done by dinner time.

  7. Pine_Tree

    Fox News called some states for Harris with 0% reporting. Like IL and CT. Not REALLY a surprise, but come on. At least act like you’re going to make it connected to some data.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        The interwebz and social media is where it’s at, Jack. Fox News friggin blows.

      • rhywun

        Social media blows, present company excluded.

        I’ll flip between the Sabres and Fawx news but no way I’m watching intertube videos.

      • rhywun

        PS. agree with earlier thoughts about modern televisions and hawkey. It’s real nice to be able to follow the puck now.

        In the olde days I could barely follow the game (and mostly didn’t watch because of that).

    • KK, Plump & Unfiltered

      We have a rare trials & trippelations sighting in here

    • KK, Plump & Unfiltered

      Lively drunk crowd in here

  8. cyto

    Ealy warning

    Ohio showing “leans blue”

    Isnt that where they dumped a few hundred thousand illegals?

    • kinnath

      AP is showing the bulk of OH leaning red for House. Blue areas are clearly the cities. If the cities are reporting early, the leans blue on the president map doesn’t mean anything.

      • kinnath

        AP now showing OH leaning red on the Presidents race.

      • rhywun

        I’m seeing a lot of cities reporting early, which is the opposite of every other election I have paid half-attention to before.

      • UnCivilServant

        Abandon Harris and regroup for 2026?

    • KSuellington

      That’s already gone the other way.

  9. Suthenboy

    At this moment in time I am seeing Trump 105, Harris 72. The R’s are comfortably ahead in both house and senate. The R’s must be ecstatic . They may have another record breaking opportunity to drop the ball.
    Where is my goddamned Obamacare repeal?

    • juris imprudent

      Repealing Obamacare wouldn’t make anything better in terms of our healthcare system. All that would happen is the toothless mandate wouldn’t even be able to gum you.

    • Suthenboy

      Now T 111 , H 72

    • cyto

      This is historical.

      And sad

      • cyto

        Hysterical.

        The newer spell check is killing me

  10. LCDR_Fish

    VA is actually looking really tight with a lot of blue supposedly already reported (other than some “cities” up in NOVA). Guess we’ll see about surprises.

    • Urthona

      There’s 150,000 blue votes yet from their most populous county and this exact thing happened in 2020.

      Don’t get too excited yet.

      • cyto

        180,000 if it needs to be…..

      • Urthona

        Yup. Virginia going blue I think. Not enough of a lead for Trump.

      • cyto

        Florida up at 93% in

        VIRGINIA at 42%

        FL 22+ million
        Virginia < 9 million

      • Ted S.

        According to current results, Harris leads in Loudoun by 36K and in Prince William by 35K. In 2020 Biden carried those by 66K and 61K respectively.

    • Rebel Scum

      Hopefully it will be like 2021 when NoVa told McCunteface that they could not fix it for him.

      • Urthona

        No. In fact most places are now calling Virginia for Kamala

      • UnCivilServant

        An early call smells fishy.

      • Rebel Scum

        They are holding out enough in case the rural/red areas get too uppity.

      • Urthona

        Fox is at least being careful but there aren’t enough trump votes for VA I don’t think.

        so far no surprises.

      • UnCivilServant

        Looks like they may need to start cracking out those stored votes.

        UPDATE 9:04 p.m. ET:

        According to the New York Times, in Virginia, with 51 percent reporting, Trump has taken a slightly less than 30,000 vote lead over Harris. It’s still a state leaning to the Democrats per the Times but the fact Trump is up right now–49.8 percent to 48.5 percent–probably has the Harris campaign uneasy.

      • UnCivilServant

        As of 9:43 with 63% count, Trump is ahead 47K votes in VA.

        It’s still in play.

  11. LCDR_Fish

    I posted about this on ded thread – but wordpress is completely borked on firefox all of a sudden. Seems to be normal here, but on my normal view – as of the 8 PM update – whenever I open page, I only see any new posts – I see a total post count and any posts since the last refresh but nothing else. Really weird. Even happened to previous threads.

    • UnCivilServant

      I don’t know what to say, I’m getting normal behavior (firefox 127 on Windows 10)

      • cyto

        Nerd

    • Nephilium

      131.0.3 (64-bit) here on Windows, works fine for me.

      When you’re talking about “my normal view”, are you referring to the main page? Any scripts blocked through extensions? Any extensions installed? Does it happen in a Private Window?

    • cyto

      This is going to come in handy.

      News you can use, baby!!!!

  12. Chipping Pioneer

    Rubin is worth watching for the chyrons.

      • Chipping Pioneer

        Sex Symbol Gad Saad

        Bret Weinstein: Eric Weinstein’s Brother

  13. OBJ FRANKELSON

    Breaking news! The LP found someone less compelling that Jorgenson or Johnson.

    Last time I looked Oliver was down 50k to Jill Stein.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      *adjusts tinfoil chapeau*
      A deliberate misdirection to throw right wing Libertarians into Trump’s arms (that largely worked it seems).

  14. Shpip

    I always found it telling that people would say “I understand the assignment,” especially in light of this quip.

    Same people, for the most part.

  15. cyto

    Pennsylvania still only 13% in.

    GOP counties: if you report anything before Philly area reports, you are idiots.

    • cyto

      All of the liberal northeastern states being called…. with only 3 to 4% of the vote in.

      How is it that slow to count votes?

      Florida is closing in on having counted 11 million votes.

      • Urthona

        Yeah it’s kinda interesting how Florida really nailed down their election laws and now it’s solidly red.

      • rhywun

        Nailed down = vOtEr sUpPrEsSiOn

        /the left

      • Nephilium

        rhywun:

        It’s racist to require an ID or proof of citizenship to vote, it’s also necessary to ban shirts and hats with wrongthink from polling places because people might have their vote influenced.

  16. Aloysious

    HAIL ZARDOZ.

    I’ve got some brutals here in meat space that need to be fucking cleansed.

    Where’s Ron? I’m failing at the stoic thingy again.

  17. Common Tater

    Trump wins Ohio.

    • Gender Traitor

      You’re welcome! 😁

      • ZWAK, doktor of BRAIN SCIENCE!

        REDheads unite!

      • Gender Traitor

        Dyslexics untie!

  18. LCDR_Fish

    Looks like Travis Corcoran got re-elected to NH house – shifted from floating district 40 to Hillsborough District 28.

      • cyto

        He had a great tweet. Said “it looks like i won, since I’m running unopposed and I just voted for myself…”

  19. Rebel Scum

    Well, it’s neck and chicken neck for pres. in VA right now.

    • LCDR_Fish

      Weird that Senate is a little lower – maybe because Kaine just has more name recognition than Cao.

      • Rebel Scum

        Me from a bit ago:

        Rebel Scum on November 5, 2024 at 6:37 pm

        Forgot to mention…Clearly I voted for OMB and the Hillbilly, the Chinaman* (ok, ok he’s Vietnamese…) and some no name that has no chance in my House district.

        *He was Cao-ing down on the polling gap recently, but Kaine the Kunte is probably too entrenched to be unseated.

        Kaine has the establishment/deep state backing.

  20. Common Tater

    I’m not surprised Trump won the Puerto Rican vote in Florida. Word salad doesn’t translate into Spanish.

  21. cyto

    Oh, and Milwaukee had a problem with tabulation machines not being properly sealed…. so they are going to reset and start over, delaying the reporting of Milwaukee until Wednesday.

    Let’s see…. Milwaukee, Atlanta….

    Charlotte very slow.

    Hmmm…. no problems in Miami (which is a basketball case compared to those cities). Or NYC.

    Somehow swing states blue strongholds just have bad luck and get delayed…. every time

    • Rebel Scum

      *whispers*

      It’s by design.

    • Ed Wuncler

      I don’t know the in and outs of federal electoral laws but if the GOP wins big in the House and Senate, the first thing they should do is make Election Day a national holiday and absolutely dissuade early voting unless you are living or going to be abroad. The idea that our elections especially in swing states are this disorganized is a gotdamn disgrace and most likely by design.

      • LCDR_Fish

        Endorsed!

      • LCDR_Fish

        Federalism is a good thing – for states rights – but you need some standardization for common sense.

      • Gustave Lytton

        No exceptions, no for expats or military.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        Yeah, that’s a good idea.

      • Nephilium

        In good news, it looks like Issue 1 is going to fail. In bad news, it looks like 55 is going to pass.

      • LCDR_Fish

        Disenfranchising military serving overseas isn’t a good idea.

      • Common Tater

        No military seems grossly immoral.

  22. Common Tater

    Milwaukee having shenanigans.

  23. Pine_Tree

    My current fantasy is to see NY (called super-early for Harris) flip as the night goes on.

    • UnCivilServant

      I really want to see NY flip.

      I’ll settle for Prop 1 going down in flames, but the best of all worlds would be a legislature that dismantles the downstate fraud machine.

      • Rebel Scum

        I’m aiming high for VA but y’all are reaching for the stars there. That said, I agree that it would be awesome.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        It’ll flip a la Guam with too many people on it before it flips politically.

  24. Ownbestenemy

    Remember folks…any numbers from a news agency are projected and speculation…

  25. Common Tater

    Harris looks way ahead in PA.

  26. cyto

    Trump only has a 200,000 vote lead in Georgia, with Atlanta holding back.

    Printing press goes brrrrrr….

  27. Gender Traitor

    Watching Tucker stream from Mar-a-lago. They’re only occasionally mentioning vote counts, but he’s talking to some interesting folks – since I started watching, Vivek, Don Jr., and now Nigel Farage.

    • Common Tater

      Is that on X?

      • Gender Traitor

        YouTube. Now talking to Dana White.

      • UnCivilServant

        Whenever I see that name I keep getting confused with Vana White.

      • Common Tater

        Thanks 🙂

  28. cyto

    Wife is watching NBC. They seem oddly calm and collected about the results. Have used the phrase “threat to democracy” several times… but seem unconcerned about how trump is doing.

    I wonder if they know something I don’t know?

    • Ownbestenemy

      Dont look way into it.

    • Urthona

      Most of the stations are ok just for reporting results. Nothing much they can do now.

      Also nothing so far happening different than 2020.

      • cyto

        They try to create a buzz of inevitability to supress the west coast vote

        I remember in 2000 they called florida for Gore and said Georgia was too close to call.

        Georgia went 60-40 for Bush, and we all know about Florida.

        But they went on national TV and said this basically made a Bush win impossible, driving down the west coast republican vote. (This was 7 pm eastern, before the polls in Florida even closed. Some west coast polls had 5 hours left)

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        You’re harshing my buzz, pickle.

      • Urthona

        Well remember these states Trump lost by tiny margins so we might not know for awhile.

      • Urthona

        They put up the margins over time from 2020… and … yup everything looking very similar so far but it’s hard to drill down and really see.

    • Rebel Scum

      Idk. ABC called PA last week during a race.

    • UnCivilServant

      Unless they shut off the computers on their way out, you have a few days before the wheels come off.

    • cyto

      Interesting. I wonder what the model is.

    • Rebel Scum

      Tbf she considers Kamala to be “the help”…

      • cyto

        Oof

    • Common Tater

      Red doesn’t equal MAGA.

      • cyto

        Tell that to Juicy Smolliette

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        She wrote in Mao?

      • Urthona

        In fact they used to switch the party’s colors every election until the 80s.

      • Common Tater

        I doubt she voted for Trump.

    • Ownbestenemy

      Its projected…its speculation. What does their Secretary of State say?

    • cyto

      DC polls are not closed.

      Why?

      Dunno.

      • UnCivilServant

        Do they even have an electoral vote? Or is this just for their local officials and non-voting rep in the House?

      • cyto

        23rd amendment says they get treated like a state for presidential vote.

        So they get 3 electoral votes.

      • UnCivilServant

        That is two too many! They don’t have Senators.

      • Urthona

        Wonder who is going to win DC.

        nailbiter.

      • Rat on a train

        DC gets 3 per the 23rd Amendment.

      • Rat on a train

        That is two too many! They don’t have Senators.
        They also want those and a rep.

  29. UnCivilServant

    You know what would amuse me to no end – if they put all this effort into delaying PA and the state ends up irrelevant to the victory totals.

    • Urthona

      That would be awesome.

      if Trump gets Michigan or Wisconsin doesn’t need it.

    • B.P.

      I’m holding out for Trump loses the election but wins the popular vote. All of the advanced thinkers completely reverse course and abandon their “principles”, explaining how the electoral college saved democracy. Throw in the GOP taking the Senate and things get really fun. Oceans of blather from the pundits, pollsters switch to selling real estate.

      • Urthona

        I’m not holding out hope for that because that complete reversal of taking points has happened about everything for my entire life. I am bored of it.

      • cyto

        That would be epic…

        Except they would take out all free speech. So pyrric victory at best…

  30. Yusef drives a Kia

    Howdy
    Tomorrow is the beer fling, part of San Diego Beer week.
    20 breweries and as many ice chests of their finest. Beer on the 7th 11th and 14th hole, a splendid time is guaranteed for all.

    Lunch at 40th St. Breweries, life is still good

  31. cavalier973

    Trump won NC.

    The “suppress the vote with a hurricane” ploy didn’t work.

    • Urthona

      Welp. I really thought my hurricane machine was gonna do the trick there.

      • Rebel Scum

        It’s nothing to HAARP on.

    • Rat on a train

      Darth Cheney is weakening.

    • kinnath

      I don’t see anyone calling NC yet.

      • UnCivilServant

        I did. I was going to give the link, but it has been pushed off the bottom of the site I was following updates on

      • Urthona

        Lots of big blue counties in NC with only 30% of votes counted. but I’m no expert.

      • DEG

        270towin has.

      • cyto

        Trump by a quarter million in NC with 3/4 of the vote in.

      • Urthona

        Looking likely

    • Drake

      I’d love to see Mark Robinson as NC Governor, but I doubt it’ll happen.

      • Urthona

        Too many fumbles by that guy I think.

  32. groat scotum

    So: Hunter Biden pardoned tomorrow morning or do you think Jill strings him along for a couple months out of spite?

  33. DEG

    WMUR called the NH governor race for Kelly Ayotte.

    • slumbrew

      No real dog in that fight, but good – the Craig ads just would not stop.

      • slumbrew

        ” pointing to neighboring Massachusetts, where Democrats control the state government and dominate the congressional delegation, Ayotte made her slogan “Don’t Mass UP NH” her campaign’s rallying cry.’

        She’s not wrong.

      • DEG

        Craig campaigning with Maura Healey only sells well in certain segments.

        270towin has Manchester at 71% reported with Ayotte ahead of Craig, which is not at all surprising given that Craig’s handpicked successor lost the Manchester mayoral race.

  34. kinnath

    AP says GOP has picked up 2 House seats.

    • Urthona

      I thought the sentiment was they were losingl the house. Interesting.

    • rhywun

      I’m almost more wanting that + the House to at least get a split if the sacks of ballots put First of Her Name on top.

  35. grrizzly

    Watching MSNBC and looking at the NYT website. The NYT projections are getting better for Trump.

    • Urthona

      Looked about the same at this time in 2020 though so I’m cautious.

    • Gender Traitor

      I’ll feel more confident when the MSDNC talking heads start crying.

      • Urthona

        If that happens I’m switching over.

      • Rat on a train

        The Young Turks in 2016 was a classic.

      • UnCivilServant

        I don’t look directly upon them, but I am getting secondhand reports of despair.

        I know that’s very poor evidence.

      • cyto

        Absolutely. That is a must see live moment.

      • Gender Traitor

        I don’t look directly upon them

        Maddow is actually Medusa?

      • Common Tater

        She doesn’t turn any of my parts to stone.

    • rhywun

      Watching MSNBC

      What the hell is wrong with you? lol

      • grrizzly

        Fubo.tv doesn’t have CNN. Buy I just realized I can watch CNN on Max.

    • grrizzly

      NYT: Trump’s chance of victory is 82%.

  36. Rat on a train

    How is the LP doing? Bad enough to get a better draft pick next election?

  37. cyto

    PA showing as “leans republican” with 50% in.

    Shenanigans have not yet begun. But….

    If this continues, it may not be such a long night after all.

    • Urthona

      Trump was leading PA until 8pm on Wednesday in 2020.

      • Brochettaward

        Fox was saying earlier that Harris needed to get 700k votes from Philly to win PA. That’d be 100k more than Biden, roughly.

        Trump team is fighting to keep them counting tonight in PA.

    • Urthona

      Uh are you sure that’s correct?

      • Urthona

        Because i am just watching the tv and they’re only showing like 25% counted

      • Urthona

        That was an error it turns out.

      • cyto

        Trump by 10k with just shy of half the vote

      • UnCivilServant

        NYT says 49% counted.

        I don’t trust them, but it’s the first additional data point I’ve found

    • Urthona

      Been acknowledged as a mistake.

      That woulda basically been the election.

  38. cyto

    Virginia, Biden by 15k with 2/3 of vote in

  39. Ownbestenemy

    Has Fox called AZ yet? If not..they are late

    • Urthona

      It’s funny people are still mad at that though because actually their math was correct.

      • R.J.

        Yes. Regardless they have excellent maps each election.

  40. cyto

    NYT predictor has Trump at 82% chance of victory.

    Isnt this the model they were using that said Hillary was a lock?

    Are they punking me?

  41. Translucent Chum

    FWIW, NYT predicts Trump takes electoral and popular vote now.

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