I Can’t Wait Until Fucking Christmas

by | Nov 30, 2024 | Beer, Food & Drink, Media | 93 comments

In 1995 I couldn’t figure out why my parents like this movie. As an adult, I still don’t get it.

This is my review of Casa Agria Casa Real:

To kick off the holiday season we have Home for the Holidays. As much as I want to throw shade at Jodie Foster for being Hollywood’s most overrated lesbian thespian, as she directed the movie, I have to admit she is most likely responsible for the casting. It’s actually really good for it’s time, but the cast itself outshines the main character (Claudia) played by Holly Hunter which was probably intended because Claudia isn’t particularly interesting.

The movie begins two days before Thanksgiving where Claudia is fired from her job at an art museum for having the temerity of bamging her boss. Turns out he was also fired, but this is really just a plot device. On the way to the airport her teenage daughter (played by a 16 year old Claire Danes), who is not traveling with her for Thanksgiving informs her she is probably going to bang her boyfriend. This is also a plot device.

The news of both drives her to spend an absurd amount of money to the airline to use the phone on the plane to emotionally vent to her younger brother Tommy everything that occurred in the last 24 hours…to his answering machine. Remember those? We don’t meet the brother (played by Robert Downey Jr between stints at rehab) until he arrives unexpectedly with another man named Leo (played by Dylan McDermott). Spoiler alert: The brother is gay. Not that there’s anyhing wrong with that, as Jerry Seinfeld assured us In 1995. He is the only real reason Claudia can stand her family because of this fact, as he draws more derision from her family than she does. You know because dad is a retired airline pilot (played by WW2 Vet Charles Dunning), and the sister is married to a banker/finance bro (Steve Guttenberg) so they obviously are not in the Jerry Seinfeld category.

Obvious arguments around the table ensue, that come to a head when Tommy accidentally throws the entire turkey at his sister who responds with, “you cocksucker”. Later Tommy gets into a fight playing football with the brother in law resulting in the dad spraying everyone with a hose. As the sister’s family leaves in disgust in their BMW 3-Series the dad delivers the only one-liner in the movie worth mentioning, “I can’t wait until fucking Christmas.” At that point I never continued watching the movie because nothing else really happens.


Can Jodie Foster make this movie today? Probably not. Turns out Jerry Seinfeld won the culture war so the only thing left to actually drive the plot is Claudia getting fired for an affair with her boss…okay who cares? Who among us hasn’t gotten a job because the hiring manager found you attractive? What else is there, her daughter? Teenagers don’t copulate anymore, even the ones that are gay. At best Jodie Foster can make a poorly written sequel where SSRI addicted Claudia and her daughter drink box wine and complain about how happy her Never-Trumper sister’s family looks with the obvious twist that Tommy shows up in a MAGA hat.


It’s not often you find a well made Vienna Lager out side of Mexico. Okay fine, this is technically an attempt to poach the Mexican dark lager market. This brewery I never heard of from somewhere in the middle part of California actually does a good job on this one. Its light, malty, and at least looks the part if you’re trying to impress relatives you don’t care for at Thanksgiving while still being able to throw back a few before you have to put up with them. You’re gonna need them. Casa Agria Casa Real: 3.7/5

About The Author

mexican sharpshooter

mexican sharpshooter

WARNING: Glibertarians.com contains chemicals known to the State of California to cause cancer and birth defects or other reproductive harm. https://youtu.be/qiAyX9q4GIQ?t=2m22s

93 Comments

  1. ZWAK, doktor of BRAIN SCIENCE!

    Heh, that is my wife’s favorite holiday movie.

    • mexican sharpshooter

      I can only offer you my thoughts and prayers.

      • juris imprudent

        That is such a perfect message paired with your avatar.

  2. Nephilium

    /laughs in Cleveland

  3. The Late P Brooks

    That sounds like a swell movie.

  4. The Late P Brooks

    Am I 21 or older?

    None of your beeswax.

    • Ownbestenemy

      ‘Hey we asked and the kid said yes’

      • Rat on a train

        Let me get some chalk … now I am over 21.

  5. The Gunslinger

    – “Teenagers don’t copulate anymore”

    Oh, if only that were true.

    • Ownbestenemy

      After yesterday I had to have a candid talk with middle teen who apparently is tapping anything and everything…as a teen should (safely of course)

      • The Gunslinger

        My then teen daughters gave birth 5 days apart 3 years ago.

      • Fourscore

        Sounds like a conversation I had with my daughter 50 years ago.

    • mexican sharpshooter

      Perhaps my son and his friends have autism?

  6. The Late P Brooks

    My then teen daughters gave birth 5 days apart 3 years ago.

    It must have been quite a party.

    • Tres Cool

      Not until someone sticks his dick in the mashed potatoes.

  7. Ted S.

    The movie would be more interesting if Holly Hunter starts banging Claire Danes’ boyfriend and Danes starts banging her mom’s former co-worker.

    • Chafed

      There’s plenty of that on Pornhub.

  8. The Late P Brooks

    Wonders of nature

    What surprised researchers was the bizarre way the season played out. It got off to a roaring start when Hurricane Beryl became the first Category 5 storm seen in the Atlantic Ocean in June. But from mid-August through early September, all went quiet. That’s usually when the season reaches its peak — around Sept. 10. But not a single named storm developed during those weeks, the first time since 1968 that has happened.

    Just when researchers thought their forecasts were turning into busts, storm activity roared back to life and hurricanes Helen and Milton struck, causing billions in damage.

    “It took your normal seasonal cycle and turned it on its head,” Klotzbach said. “What stood out to me — it was like a switch flipped and it went completely off and completely on. It went from nothing to Helene and a bunch of storms in the east Atlantic and Milton.”

    Researchers are studying what led to the strange pattern to boost their understanding of the factors that drive hurricanes and improve future forecasts.

    Random chance? Haha, I crack myself up.

    • Shpip

      One of the chaps at Colorado State (the same dudes who “predict” each hurricane season) invented something called the Accumulated Cyclone Energy chart.

      I’m not sure how they came up with the wind speed observations at six-hour intervals for storms in the pre-satellite era, but according to the chart, big years occur pretty much randomly.

      Besides 2005 (Katrina et al), the strongest years are 1933, 1928, and 1894. Probably because of fracking or the extensive use of trains.

      • Suthenboy

        2005: We will have multiple Katrinas every year from now on!

        Some things get ignored or hand waived away..things that are very important.
        CO2 is a trace gas in our atmosphere. This kinda matters.
        The greenhouse effect requires a closed system. The earth is NOT a closed system.
        The increases we have seen in CO2 as a component of the atmosphere amounts to a rounding error.
        From the best evidence we have available increases in CO2 follow temperature increases, they do not precede temperature increases.
        If you look at the peaks of the last 8 ice ages, a period covering the last 1,000,000 years then move forward the same time period we are now from the last ice age peak the temperature is right where we are now. We are now right where we should expect to be this far into a natural warming trend.

        No scientist takes this nonsense seriously. There are an awful lot of grifters and control freaks masquerading as scientists who do.

    • Muzzled Woodchipper

      Climate isn’t ackshually random.

      Climate is a chaotic system, full of nonlinearities.

      • juris imprudent

        Yeah, this substack is a tyrant about the abuse of probability and statistics.

  9. The Late P Brooks

    Research suggests climate change made Helene and Milton worse. Both hurricanes went through a rapid intensification process, in which a hurricane’s sustained wind speeds increase by at least 35 mph over 24 hours. The trend has become more common as global temperatures rise.

    What’s more, scientists who study the influence of climate change on weather found that rainfall in one-day events like Milton is now about 20% to 30% more intense because of climate change. The researchers, with the World Weather Attribution project, also determined that Milton’s wind speeds were most likely 10% stronger because of climate change’s influence. The group produced similar results for Hurricane Helene.

    I never saw that coming.

    • Suthenboy

      Research suggests….
      …the trend has become more common…
      Notice that all of these plugs for the scam are full of that kind of language.

      Unfalsifiable assertion. 100% incorrect predictions. Vague suggestions on par with a psychic.
      The science must be settled.

    • Muzzled Woodchipper

      Yep.

      A friend of mine tried this one recently. “The newest climate research suggests that we won’t see a rise in the number of hurricanes, but that they’ll be wetter.”

      Cool story, bro. When one target isn’t hit, move it to whatever suits the story of the day. It’s The SCIENCE™️!!!

      I normally talk around this sort of shit, and did so that night too.

  10. KK, Plump & Unfiltered

    Another Christmas movie I hate is Love, Actually. What a depressing slog with a very un-Christmasy and sad ending. The only redeeming storyline was the pr0n stand-in actors.

    • Tundra

      The washed up rock star is hilarious. As well as the guy going to Wisconsin to get chicks.

    • Grummun

      We like maybe half the storylines in Love, Actually: Firth and the Portuguese lady, Nighy as the past-his-prime rock star, Grant as Prime Minister (but mostly because Martine McCutcheon is such a cutie), the aforementioned porn stand-ins, and Kris Marshall as Colin “and he’s got a big knob.” When we watch it (not frequently) we fast-forward through all the depressing or stupid (looking at you, Neeson) storylines.

    • Evan from Evansville

      Oh, Love, Actually is a legit perfect movie representing ‘love.’ Every character/duo represents a stage in the process. From just fuckin’ WI chicks for fun, to young love, grief, and all stages in between. Executed with by being well-written, cast and performed, a comedic and entertaining execution for a film about the good (and naughty and shitty) aspects of the romantic spectrum. Most folk can relate to several of the stories intertwined. (That’s the point.)

      I’ll go to the mat for that flick. Bill Nighy’s character is brilliant, and the porn starts being humorously awkward bout their first date, despite (simulating) banging the whole movie is cleverly written and done. Fun screwball for how the mind works.

      • KK, Plump & Unfiltered

        Very interesting & clear analysis, E. I still hate the movie, though 😉

  11. Mojeaux

    Everybody from dedthred who told me to go to the doctor:

    No. It would require pants. Maybe a bra. And talking to people.

    I have successfully awakened alive the last 2 days. We’ll see if I do tomorrow also.

    @CountPotato, the last time I shaved my head, I didn’t get laid for a while, so— Oh, right. That’s the point.

    • Ted S.

      I’m sure your husband will love you even if you shave your head.

      • Mojeaux

        He does love me. He just did not enjoy seeing my bald head for months on end.

  12. The Late P Brooks

    Sad

    In the days after the presidential election, Sadie Perez began carrying pepper spray with her around campus. Her mom also ordered her and her sister a self-defense kit that included keychain spikes, a hidden knife key and a personal alarm.

    It’s a response to an emboldened fringe of right-wing “manosphere” influencers who have seized on Republican Donald Trump ’s presidential win to justify and amplify misogynistic derision and threats online. Many have appropriated a 1960s abortion rights rallying cry, declaring “Your body, my choice” at women online and on college campuses.

    For many women, the words represent a worrying harbinger of what might lie ahead as some men perceive the election results as a rebuke of reproductive rights and women’s rights.

    “The fact that I feel like I have to carry around pepper spray like this is sad,” said Perez, a 19-year-old political science student in Wisconsin. “Women want and deserve to feel safe.”

    I’m sorry you’re a delusional paranoiac.

    • Nephilium

      Wait, so getting an abortion after a rape would make things better than defending yourself against getting raped in the first place?

      • Muzzled Woodchipper

        I imagine there is definitely a not insubstantial number of people who would say yes, or would, at the very least, say yes until it’s put in these very clear terms.

        I saw a campus interview where 2 blue haired students said they think “Free Abortions On Demand” would be better for society than “Free Tuition For Everyone.”

        Both are a terrible idea. Free college for everyone is how you get Europe. You need education to justify what’s happening there. A continent of serfs being financially drained, invaded by hordes of Muslims.

    • Shpip

      As women become the majority on college campuses and many professional industries see increasing gender diversity, it has “led to young men scapegoating women and girls, falsely claiming it’s their fault they’re not getting into college anymore as opposed to looking inward,” Brown said.

      Guys aren’t foregoing college because they’re getting beat out in the application process by girls. They’re not bothering to enroll because (a) who wants to deal with an actively misandric environment, and (b) they’ve figured out that unless you’re going into STEM, college holds little value proposition for them.

      • Muzzled Woodchipper

        A, I think, is the major driver. College is an atmosphere in which is it presupposed that any male, particularly if he’s white, is an oppressor who cannot be redeemed unless he renounces masculinity and/or “transforms” himself into a woman.

        Who the fuck wants to go somewhere where you’re told everyday that you’re bad and cannot make up for it lest you dehumanize yourself for the cause?

    • Gustave Lytton

      Hasn’t pepper spray been a college staple for at least 30 years?

    • rhywun

      “At least I’m not Jewish,” she added.

    • Suthenboy

      This girl is offended that she feels the need to carry pepper spray? Whut? Didnt they spend the last years telling us that 10 out of five women are raped twice every day? Why was she not already carrying pepper spray?
      It is almost like these people are just engaging in histrionics.

      When told about a real life crime of violence or when watching a crime or monster drama I routinely ask this about the victim: “Were they armed?”
      The answer is always no and the attitude I am met with is along the line of “Why would they be?”
      Unarmed victim gets raped/eaten/killed. In STEVE SMITH’s case I guess it would be all three. You would think this is a clue.

      A Scottish girl I knew back in the ’80s told me she went on an alaskan safari with some of her college friends. It was a school trip. Not the girl I knew but a boy in one of the groups was attacked and severely injured by a grizzly. I asked her “How did that happen?! Who had the rifle?”
      She was aghast that I would even ask that. The stupidity and naivety makes my head spin.

      German acquaintance wanted to kayak from Alaska to Washington state along the coast. His plan was to camp on the beaches at night. He asked my advice about the chance of bear attacks on the beach while he was sleeping.
      “Oh, there isn’t a ‘chance’ of it. It is a certainty. Also Canada wont let you have a gun.”

      • Suthenboy

        Speaking of bears; my second favorite bear video. The only thing wrong with it is the title. It should be “Hey. Are they bite’n?

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AiivKNVU8P4

        First favorite is the “Bear! Dont tear up my stuff!” lady. That one cant be beaten.

      • Muzzled Woodchipper

        It all makes sense when you realize that every bit of this is performative. The only solution is to either point and laugh, or feel some semblance of pity for how deranged this set of allegedly well adjusted, independent women have become.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        Oh, stewardess? I speak bear.

    • Ownbestenemy

      Her mom also ordered her and her sister a self-defense kit that included keychain spikes, a hidden knife key and a personal alarm.

      Uh…isn’t that falling in line with “republican” women? Whole self-reliance, protect yourself, ain’t no one going to do it, type of thinking?

      • Muzzled Woodchipper

        Speaking of advocating for self defense….

        One of the thoughts I’ve had of late reveals the gaslighting from Team Blue, specifically about Trump being the next hItLeR!!!!!

        For the last 4 years, we’ve been told nothing by the establishment except how dangerous Trump is. He’s a Nazi. A dictator. A person who will take away the rights of all women, put them in birthing camps, while being an active threat to the quitbag people. Their lives are in danger. Our democracy is in danger. We will never vote again. It’s all over.

        Yet at the same time they’ve actively fought tooth and nail for every sort of restriction and ban on guns they can imagine.

        Wouldn’t you want those about to be subject to democracy killing fascists who will enslave women in birthing camps to be able to protect themselves from such atrocities?

        No? Okay. I guess pepper spray and spiked key rings will stem the tsunami of fascist rapists and murderers bent on turning society into the Handmaid’s Tale style dictatorship.

      • rhywun

        No?

        No, because human nature is malleable and we just have to learn not to hate.

    • mexican sharpshooter

      In the days after the presidential election, Sadie Perez began carrying pepper spray with her around campus. Her mom also ordered her and her sister a self-defense kit that included keychain spikes, a hidden knife key and a personal alarm.

      No whistle?

      • Sean

        Who carries bulky keychains anymore?

      • Nephilium

        Sean:

        Everyone?

        I mean, the size of the keys have increased at least twentifold from the simple door and ignition keys from the 80’s.

      • Muzzled Woodchipper

        Especially now that everything is a fucking FOB.

        My keys used to be small. Now they’re fucking huge.

  13. The Gunslinger

    LET’S GO BLUE!

    • Chafed

      It’s a little late for that. Harris lost.

      • juris imprudent

        So tOSU should switch from Buckeyes to RINOs?

      • Nephilium

        ji:

        Which are more toxic?

  14. The Late P Brooks

    Anonymous rape threats have been left on the TikTok videos of women denouncing the election results. And on the far-flung reaches of the web, 4chan forums have called for “rape squads” and the adoption of policies in “The Handmaid’s Tale,” a dystopian book and TV series depicting the dehumanization and brutalization of women.

    “What was scary here was how quickly this also manifested in offline threats,” Frances-Wright said, emphasizing that online discourse can have real-world impacts.

    We will use a few random vague sourceless “threats” as proof of a massive wave of misogynistic violence toward women. Because that’s how we roll.

    • Suthenboy

      Anonymous rape threats on TikTok. Huh, are they going to have to pick cotton as well? Posted by whom? User name Totallynotmesendingmyselfafalseflag?

  15. The Late P Brooks

    Is The Sure Thing a Christmas movie?

    • Tundra

      Absolutely. I just watched it recently and still dig it.

      “Did you know that Nietzsche died from syphilis?”

  16. The Late P Brooks

    Speaking of tomboys- I turned on the teevee to check on the Ohio State game and found a women’s world cup giant slalom from Killington. awesome.

    • Chafed

      Impossible. The rapid advance of global warming means there is no snow in Vermont.

  17. LCDR_Fish

    They make Vienna Lagers in Mexico??? Devils Backbone VL is the big one in VA although Vibrant Shores also has “Better than the Devil” which does not quite love up to the name.

    Back in Wasserhund one more time…they’ve got a new Dunkelweisen which is solid and a pretty good new Pineapple Upside Down ale. Definitely different but goes great with the chicken biscuit pizza I just ate.

    • LCDR_Fish

      As far as holiday movies Steve Carell was really good in “Dan in Real Life” which i may start watching as a Thanksgiving movie.

    • Nephilium

      German immigration brought the German brewing styles down to Central and South America, those traditions have been kept up with most Mexican brewed lagers being German style. The real fun came when American breweries started doing “Mexican style lagers” which they usually flavored with lime and corn.

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      Models Negra is our Mexican friend

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        Modelo, dammit!

    • mexican sharpshooter

      They make Vienna Lagers in Mexico???

      Yes. Bohemia, Indio, the aforementioned Negra Modelo are all Vienna Lagers.

  18. Shpip

    So it turns out that the answer to the question “Do these jeans make my arse look big?” is *not* “No, it’s your arse that makes those jeans look big.” #doghouse

    • LCDR_Fish

      Doghouse – the UK horror flick or something else?

    • Chafed

      Is this your first time speaking to a woman?

    • mexican sharpshooter

      Arse? You’re Scottish?

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        🎶 “Happy Christmas, my arse / I pray God it’s our last” ?

      • Tres Cool

        He’s channeling Andy Capp

    • Tres Cool

      “You can’t hide a barn by painting it black” was NOT an answer ex Mrs Trea liked to hear.

  19. The Late P Brooks

    WEAK, buckeyes.

  20. UnCivilServant

    I should be editing the later parts of the video but got fixated on the intro, but I can justify the time as stuff needed doing and learning the software.

    But I got indecisive on the music, so I made five variants and am soliciting opinions. All five are here.

    • R.J.

      I do promise to review when I am someplace quiet. Still on the road.
      The gloves were a nice touch.

      • UnCivilServant

        Some times it’s better to lean into the joke.

      • R.J.

        Option 2, the sine.
        Option 1, combined with the gloves, looked like there was about ti be a romantic cow insemination.

  21. The Gunslinger

    Could someone please make Gus Johnson go away?

    Thanks

  22. Shpip

    He’s baaaaaaack

    • R.J.

      Who is that?
      And what’s the address where I can send all this excess squirrel oil?

    • mexican sharpshooter

      *clicks*

      Its okay, its not Gus Johnson.

    • Gender Traitor

      Glory hallelujah! I’m going to follow him this time!

  23. The Late P Brooks

    Holy shit. YOU SUCK, Ohio State.

    how did that team even win a game?

  24. The Gunslinger

    13-10 will work.

    • juris imprudent

      Check in? Roll a crisis intervention team, stat! There is joy in Happy Valley.

    • Nephilium

      Pretty sure he’s hangin’ on.

    • Tres Cool

      Well that was certainly a disappointment.

  25. juris imprudent

    And South Carolina did what GA Tech couldn’t in their game.