Stoic Friday LXXXVII

by | Nov 8, 2024 | Advice, LifeSkills, Musings | 116 comments

Last Week

Meditations

How to Be a Stoic

How to Think Like a Roman Emperor

Seneca’s Letters from a Stoic

If you have anger issues, this one is a great tool (h/t mindyourbusiness)

This week’s book:

Discourses and Selected Writings

Disclaimer: I’m not your Supervisor. These are my opinions after reading through these books a few times.

Epictetus was born a slave around 50 ad. His owner was Epaphroditus, a rich freedman who was once a slave of Nero. Though he was a slave Epictetus was sent to study philosophy under Musonius Rufus.

Epictetus was lame and there are some stories it was caused by his master and others that it was caused by disease.

He was a freedman when all philosophers were banished from Rome in 89 by the Emperor Domitian. He then started his school in Greece, and had many students. He did not leave any writings from his lessons, but one of his students, Flavius Arrian, took notes and wrote the Discourses.

Epictetus did not marry, had no children, and lived to be around 80-85. In retirement, he adopted a child that would have been abandoned and raised him with a woman.

He died sometime around AD 135.

He is my favorite Stoic teacher. I love his bare bones and very straight forward approach.

Following is a paragraph-by-paragraph discussion of one of his lessons. Epictetus’s text appears in bold, my replies are in normal text.

Of Providence

Whenever you find fault with Providence, only consider and you will recognize that what happens is in accordance with reason. “Yes,” you say, “but the wicked man is better off.” In what respect? In money; for in respect to that he is superior to you, because he flatters, is shameless, lies awake nights. What is surprising in that? But look rather and see if he is better off than you are in being faithful, and considerate. For you will not find that to be the case; but where you are superior, there you will find that you are better off than he is.

I see many people that are in a better financial situation than me. I do not see any people with a better life than me. As the preacher at the church I used to go to said, “Everyone thinks beauty and money lead to happiness, but look at Hollywood. They are drowning in both, but they are not happy people with fulfilling lives”.

And so I once asked a man who was complaining about the prosperity of Philostorgus, “Would you have been willing to cohabit with Sura?”[1] “May that day never come!” said he. 5Why, then, are you indignant if he gets something for what he sells? Or how can you deem him blessed who acquires what he has by means which you abhor? Or what harm does Providence do if it gives the better thing to the better men?

Jealousy has never been part of my makeup. I hear all the time, “The rich need to pay their fair share.” Or, “A billionare should not pay less taxes then me.” I never hear an articulate argument on how taxing rich people more actually would help the average person.

Or is it not better to be considerate than to be rich? He agreed that it was. Why, then, are you indignant, man, when you have the better part? I would have the rest of you always remember, then, and be ready to apply the following truth: That this is a law of nature for the superior to have the better of the inferior, in the respect in which he is superior; and then you will never be indignant.

I do not concern myself with how others are doing. We used to have a government worker that was very upset that some of the other government workers that were doing the same job were a higher rank, so they made more money. She bitched about this incessantly and was never happy here. When she left, nobody was unhappy about that.

“But my wife treats me badly.” Very well; if someone asks you what this amounts to, say, “My wife treats me badly.” “Nothing else, then?” Nothing. “My father doesn’t give me anything” . . .[2] But is it necessary in your own mind to add to the preceding statement, that to receive nothing from your father is an evil, and at that to add a lie too? For this reason we ought not to cast out poverty, but only our judgement about poverty, and so we shall be serene.

I have been having a rough few weeks financially. I got my car inspected and had to put a new control arm on. Normally I would do this myself, but I was in a walking boot, so I had to pay them to do it. Then I had new tires put on my truck, and they told me the ball joint was loose. Luckily by then, I was mobile enough to do it but that was a job. Next the clutch in my car started acting up, but I wasn’t too concerned since my wife was going to Okinawa for 2 months, so I as driving her car to work when she didn’t need it and driving my truck the other days. Then my wife totaled her car when a woman turned left in front of her as she went straight on a green light. Now I am here by myself and driving my truck everyday. I got a new master cylinder for my car and hopefully that will fix it. I have managed to remain Stoic about all of this, but would be doing better if my wife was here. My house is depressing now, it’s mostly just me and the dogs. I talk to them way more than is healthy, but only have 6 more weeks to go.

About The Author

ron73440

ron73440

What I told my wife when she said my steel Baby Eagle .45 was heavy, "Heavy is good, heavy is reliable, if it doesn't work you could always hit him with it."-Boris the Blade MOLON LABE

116 Comments

  1. Sensei

    Then my wife totaled her car when a woman turned left in front of her as she went straight on a green light.

    Missed that! As she’s safely away in Japan I’m guessing she wasn’t seriously hurt. To be stoic – Metal can always be replaced.

    • ron73440

      She wasn’t hurt, her friend that was riding with her got taken to the ER for severe pain, but luckily it was just bruising.

    • Gender Traitor

      …it’s mostly just me and the dogs. I talk to them way more than is healthy

      There is not a darn thing wrong with talking to your pets as much as you want… but you may want to avoid bringing up politics or religion.

      • UnCivilServant

        GT’s cats hated my opinions on Calvanism.

      • Fourscore

        But do talk to them about birth control. They are members of the family and not just animals.

  2. Tundra

    Finding gratitude in times of stress is really difficult but I think critical. If you are chasing conventional measures of success, envy and jealousy will always be with you. No bueno.

    I have managed to remain Stoic about all of this, but would be doing better if my wife was here. My house is depressing now, it’s mostly just me and the dogs. I talk to them way more than is healthy, but only have 6 more weeks to go.

    It’s pretty cool you have a partner like that. Thanks as always for your work here.

  3. Aloysious

    I’m pleased you are well in spite of all that has happened to you.

    Thanks for this.

  4. kinnath

    https://www.foxnews.com/politics/justice-sonia-sotomayor-faces-pressure-retire-ahead-trump

    Justice Sonia Sotomayor faces pressure to retire ahead of Trump taking office

    Democrats are reportedly discussing whether to call on Supreme Court Justice Sonia Sotomayor to immediately resign in an effort to avoid her replacement potentially being made under President-elect Donald Trump, Politico reports.

    Democrats lost their Senate majority to Republicans in the 2024 election, which, according to one Democratic senator, prompted discussion over whether to initiate an immediate replacement of Sotomayor, 70, during their remaining two months in control of the chamber.

    They don’t have a majority. They have a tie (if you include Sanders). It only takes one holdout (Manchin or Sinema) to fuck things up.

    Congress shuts down before Thanksgiving. This will not go over well.

    • Grumbletarian

      Kamala would break the tie, yes?

      • kinnath

        Yes. The VP is the tie breaker.

        But you have to have all 50 senators on the floor during the traditional holiday break to even get to the tie breaker.

        You basically have 7 weeks to pick a nominee, conduct hearings, and schedule a vote.

        This depends on two Senators that are leaving their seats because they were basically driven out of the party.

      • Certified Public Asshat

        Only if it is her being nominated.

    • Sensei

      Schumer basically said it’s not happening and he doesn’t want that shit show.

      • kinnath

        Yes, it is a stupid idea.

      • SarumanTheGreat

        He may be an unsufferable lying conniving asshole who should be in prison for the rest of his life, but he’s not stupid.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Smart as I am sure being an older politician realizes maybe stop listening to the crazies

    • EvilSheldon

      Not that I would ever admit to sympathy for a sitting USSC justice, but wow, it must be rough to know that your own party values you as nothing beyond a reliable (D), and expects you to cheerfully retire the instant you start to become less useful…

      • Ownbestenemy

        She is the Right’s ACB

      • B.P.

        You can just feel the loyalty the Ds have to their personnel.

    • kinnath

      Roberts; 69
      Thomas; 76
      Alito; 74
      Sotamayor; 70
      Kagan; 64
      Gorush; 57
      Kavanaugh; 59
      Barrett; 52

      I think the issue is that Sotomayor has known health issues and will not be on the court for a lot more years.

  5. Ownbestenemy

    I know it’s been brought up before but if content is key to this place…maybe highlight that and not links?

    Stoic today. Having some pulled pork for all my veteran brothers and sisters this weekend, along with those who stuck with our adventures.

    Mojeaux to answer your question….she is starting to. I introduced her to libertarianism (normal people libertarian) and just how much the government, even Trump’s views, hurt people.

    My brother and I have gone at it for years as he is more a Bernie fan, but that I can get. However he has/had this notion we must choose sides. That started when I joined the military. I chose to go for my family and myself, not because I was going to go on some grand Republican crusade.

    So hopefully this didn’t break them or set them back and maybe have themselves realize, they were part of the reason we are here where we are today.

    • Ownbestenemy

      Just as much as I was part of it too…to add.

  6. The Late P Brooks

    Schumer basically said it’s not happening and he doesn’t want that shit show.

    </em.

    Aww, c'mon. It'll be fun.

  7. The Late P Brooks

    More headlines about those “racist texts”. Yes let’s all freak out over something roughly equivalent to “You may already be a winner!”

  8. The Late P Brooks

    The car was totaled:

    That doesn’t always men “unrepairable’. See what a couple of body shops think. From the photo it doesn’t look that bad. It doesn’t even look like the windshield is broken.

    *there may be frame damage; they’ll tell you

    • Tundra

      Airbags went. Fixing interiors is ridiculously expensive

    • UnCivilServant

      My focus was ‘totaled’ because of a bent axle which was calculated to be more expensive to fix than the car was worth in the insurance company’s opinion.

      • LCDR_Fish

        My 2008 Rav4 was rear-ended at about 35 – probably a bit less – and apparently there was frame buckling that the insurance company counted as a total.

    • ron73440

      The frame twisted, causing the windshield to break.

  9. The Late P Brooks

    Airbags went. Fixing interiors is ridiculously expensive

    Whatever. Disposable cars. Welcome to the glorious eco-friendly sustainable future.

    • Tundra

      I hate it so much. The rest of the fucking world can buy a dead simple Hilux for 13K. We really need a huge realignment

      • UnCivilServant

        We can still but the LoLux, right?

      • Certified Public Asshat

        I guess we won’t be seeing the chicken tax going away.

  10. The Late P Brooks

    My focus was ‘totaled’ because of a bent axle which was calculated to be more expensive to fix than the car was worth in the insurance company’s opinion.

    Exactly. Because of absurd depreciation. Did you fix it (I hope)?

    • UnCivilServant

      No. There was a lot of ‘character’ in that car unrelated to the collision, and I needed to get back on the road to keep my job, so I took the insurance payout and used it as a down payment on the c-max.

      • UnCivilServant

        Plus I had neither the money to pay someone, nor the tools and expertise to fix it myself.

  11. The Late P Brooks

    Harry, of Harry’s Garage has a youtube up talking about depreciation and the impending collapse of the supercar/hypercar market. Even people with money are starting to ask why they should buy something when they know the resale value will plummet immediately. Generally speaking, you don’t get rich by buying high and selling low. Or being stupid.

    • Tundra

      I saw that. Coupled with the bloodbath at this year’s Pebble Beach and I think it’s getting close.

      • Fourscore

        “Generally speaking, you don’t get rich by buying high and selling low. Or being stupid”

        Is this something new? When did that start?

        Learning the hard way is a hard way to learn. No one ever sold a car because it was getting too good of gas mileage.

        I’ve bought a couple shiny dogs in my day. Keep pumping money in hoping that one day everything will be fixed.

    • kinnath

      You buy it to drive it. If you’re not doing that, then you are wasting money.

      I was looking on Carfax for a possible commuter vehicle. I was looking at Nissans that still come with a stick. A very limited pool.

      There were a lot of 18 to 20 year old 350z being listed that had 30k to 40k miles. So, they were being driven 1500 to 2000 miles per year. What a complete fucking waste. Mine is “lightly” used at 108K miles over 19 years. And, I’ve enjoyed every one of those miles.

    • Sensei

      Who doesn’t want some exotic supercar crammed full of 50 electronic black boxes all of which are no longer manufactured and that start decaying from the moment of completion?

    • PieInTheSky

      the trick is to buy those which will not go down in value

      why they should buy something when they know the resale value will plummet immediately – display of wealth and social status.

      • PieInTheSky

        display of wealth and social status. – to rephrase that is what gets one the fire pussy (in more meanings than one)

      • R C Dean

        + 1 ginger?

      • PieInTheSky

        or +1 herpes depending on the breaks

  12. The Late P Brooks

    You can just feel the loyalty the Ds have to their personnel.

    I love you, grandma. Now stop complaining and get on the fucking ice raft.

  13. PieInTheSky

    how can one be stoic with the sites new layout? fuckin wordpress

  14. The Late P Brooks

    Who doesn’t want some exotic supercar crammed full of 50 electronic black boxes all of which are no longer manufactured and that start decaying from the moment of completion?

    Speaking of which- (looking at you, kinnath) Pine hollow just did a series on a Nissan truck. Surprise! It really was a dead ecu. He says they are notorious for ecus going tits up, and since Nissan isn’t making replacements they are getting scarce. his advice- buy one now because you’ll need it.

    • Sensei

      I saw the same and thought of our kinnath as well and his love of all things Nissan.

      • Tundra

        What years? I know a bunch of people with them

      • kinnath

        I’m not in love with Nissan.

        I’ve had 7 or 8 in a row now with no issues with reliability.

        The real issue is that I have been going to the same dealer to buy cars and get them serviced for approaching 30 years. (Note that I bought a couple of Subarus from them before buying the first Nissan in ’97)

        I’m just not interested in buying a different brand at a different dealer at this point.

      • kinnath

        Although, I do love the Z.

      • PieInTheSky

        I’m not in love with Nissan. – it would be a weird fetish if you were.

        anyhoo cool cars only ever come from Europe.

      • PieInTheSky

        I do love the Z. – can you drive a manual?

      • kinnath

        can you drive a manual?

        Yes, that’s why I was searching for one on Carfax.

        My first car was a 69 Camaro with three on the floor. I also drove several much older cars with three on the tree back in those days.

        My wife and I had several Subarus with manuals.

        I truly hate that CVT has replaced stick shift in entry level cars. CVT is an abomination.

      • PieInTheSky

        google Wikipedia hmmmm

        Cutia de viteze automată cu variație continuă (în engleză Continuosly Variable Transmission – CVT) este o cutie de viteze automată care schimbă raportul de transmisie într-o gamă continuă. Schimbarea raportului de transmisie se face cu un variator. Acest lucru contrastează cu alte transmisii care oferă un număr limitat de raporturi de transmisie, în trepte fixe.[1] Flexibilitatea unui CVT cu control adecvat poate permite motorului să funcționeze la o turație constantă în timp ce vehiculul se mișcă la viteze diferite.

        CVT-urile sunt utilizate în automobile, tractoare, scutere, motociclete de zăpadă, biciclete și echipamente de terasament.

        Cel mai comun tip de CVT utilizează un variator cu curea lată, format din două ansamble de discuri conice conectate printr-o curea sau lanț. Totuși, uneori au fost folosite și alte modele de variatoare.

  15. PieInTheSky

    You people need to get cooler cars. What happened ti the mustang? I though this was America.

      • PieInTheSky

        well he needs 3 at least

      • Tundra

        He also has a Challenger.

        DEG isn’t a problem.

      • PieInTheSky

        well no UCS and his c-max is. Also I feel ron’s wife needs at least a new 2025 GR Corolla

      • Fourscore

        I had a Mustang conv about 50 years ago. I was about 50 years younger too. I did like that car,

        ran it 40 K and sold it for a lot more money than I’d paid for it.

      • PieInTheSky

        obviously libertarians and wise decisions are not a thing

      • PieInTheSky

        that tiny lame thing makes you think America? strange.

      • R.J.

        You don’t have to ride in it when you visit the states.

      • PieInTheSky

        that depends on the conditions from the the US embassy in Romania I suppose

      • R.J.

        I did make sure the new permanent guest room has black steel window covers to block out the sunlight should you swing by Texas.

      • R C Dean

        Trust me, and I speak from experience, the Texas sun has nothing on the Southern Arizona sun.

      • PieInTheSky

        is that an official invitation for me to come into your home?

      • R.J.

        You can. Pretty sure green alien blood is unpalatable to the undead.

      • R.J.

        Yep. I had one, Sharpshooter’s wife had one too, I think. We drive them when we are tired of driving our massive pickup trucks.

  16. juris imprudent

    More changes in California

    After 14 rounds through the city’s ranked-choice voting process, Breed lost decisively to Daniel Lurie, a more moderate Democrat and a wealthy heir to the Levi Strauss fortune.

    Lurie was ahead from the first round, and after 14 rounds led with 56.2 percent of the vote to Breed’s 43.8 percent, according to the San Francisco Department of Elections.

  17. Fourscore

    Lurie sounds like a libertarian, until he got to the homeless solutions.

  18. Ed Wuncler

    I was on FB and read how an acquaintance stopped talking to his parents and some friends because they voted for Trump and aren’t down for the whole trans movement. It’s wild that you can easily cut off your family because they are against chemical castration for kids and dudes playing in women’s sports.

    I feel terrible for these people but also fear them because they are the sorts would violently destroy those who don’t conform to their views.

    • Sensei

      Yes, it’s because they are “tolerant” unlike you…

    • PieInTheSky

      My mind can simply not comprehend breaking contact with my mom over how she voted. It is literally inconceivable, and not in a meme way

    • kinnath

      My parents are staunchly conservative.

      My brother is gay and married to a nice guy.

      We all got together a week ago to celebrate my father’s birthday.

      Three hours of food and conversation mere days before the election. There was little to no talk of politics.

      The modern woke are fragile and weak (which is their parents fault).

      • Ed Wuncler

        Fragile and weak people are dangerous people.

        What gets me is that these are the same people who cheer leaded the punitive measures taken against people who didn’t abide by the useless Covid edicts. They really think they are good people and will excuse horrible shit because it’s being done to those they don’t like.

      • kinnath

        They are very, very fucking dangerous.

    • Trials and Trippelations

      My wife was telling me after she did some mild hobby research that there is a growing trend among therapist’s patients to cut off family and friends that don’t affirm their feelings and worldview (doesn’t have to be political)

      • R.J.

        Aha! I have been trying to catch up to you. I am moving closer to Waco.

      • Sensei

        That’s a great tune, but if they can give Americans shit about how we pronounce “YYZ” we can give them shit about how they pronounce “barchetta”.

      • PutridMeat

        they pronounce “barchetta”.

        Went to school with an Eye-talian guy. He would always put “for example” into his sentences, often multiple times. I can still hear him in a thick, thick accent “It is, for example, pronounced Bian-KI”. I can’t hear an Italian accent to this day without inserting random “for example”‘s and giggling maniacally to myself.

      • cyto

        Saw that first album tour. The place lost it when the police lights came on.

        Such a great rock and roll show.

  19. R C Dean

    I’ll be making that Alton Brown aged eggnog recipe this weekend, aiming for the Christmas zone to drink it. Looks like it makes a quart and, say, a pint or so, including the 3 cups of booze.

    That is all. Carry on.

    • PieInTheSky

      I thought I had firmly established eggnog sucks. Sometimes it feels like you people don’t even listen to my sage words.

      • R C Dean

        Well, it uses nutmeg, not sage, so . . . .

    • PieInTheSky

      that is a horrible song.

  20. The Late P Brooks

    I feel terrible for these people but also fear them because they are the sorts would violently destroy those who don’t conform to their views.

    The fanatical will always be with us.

    • Ed Wuncler

      That’s true. What was encouraging about this election was that they don’t hold as much sway as we are lead to believe.

    • R C Dean

      I dunno. This particular group of fanatics strikes me as unlikely to be truly dangerous (outside of a few individuals, of course). I have a hard time getting from “fragile and weal” to “threatening”.

      • kinnath

        Depends on whether or not you consider a group of people willing to rabidly cheer on a strongman that dispatches with anyone the fragile and weak despise to be “dangerous”.

      • Trials and Trippelations

        They had help from Normies going with the flow but they were rather ruinous during covid

      • R C Dean

        Can they hide behind someone dangerous and make jazzhands in support? Sure.

        Are they, themselves, dangerous? I just don’t see it.

    • cyto

      Buddy who sent it to me said “note the arm touch. Oh, yeah. He’s hitting it.”

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