“Yes, Father,” Barron said. “I will eat of the bird and the tuber, the gooey starch and the flood berry, yea, the very gourd of the earth.”
“Barron, my son,” Donald said. “Turkey, mashed potatoes, dressing, cranberry sauce and pumpkin pie. We’re populists, men of the land now, we must abandon all this fancy talk.”
“Yes, Father,” the enormous boy said, looking down to study his giant shoes.
“I should have never let all those tutors raise you,” Donald sniffed. “Too pointy-headed, too cerealable. Talk like me, I’m a great talker, the best, you have to be a humble man, I’m so humble.”
“He will one day reclaim America for Americans,” the hat said.
“I wonder what all the other characters are doing for Thanksgiving…” the hair asked. The air around him became wavy.
“I don’t want to do that,” the hat said.
“You don’t want to check in on them?” the hair asked, the waviness tentatively continuing.
“I don’t care what they are doing,” the hat said. “This is our Thanksgiving Special.”
“But… the waviness…” the hair said plaintively.
“Kamala is drunk, Walz is face-down in a twink, Ella is vegan again, yadda, yadda,” the hat said, “I just don’t care.”
“I shall take whatever you carve for me, Father,” Barron said, eyes moist.
“No, you take what is yours,” Donald said. “Seize the turkey, ravage it, leave what you don’t want for the others. Competition is the heart of America.”
“I should fight you for food?” Barron asked.
“I don’t eat that garbage bird,” Donald said. “I’ll be having McDonald’s.”
“Are you sure you don’t want to check in on everyone else?” the hair asked, tinged lightly with waviness.
“I feel like you really want to lecture me about the real meaning of Thanksgiving,” the hat said darkly.
“First Thanksgiving flashback!” the hair trilled, the waviness intensifying…
“Forsooth, we do thank the heathen for this bounty,” Pilgrim Donald proclaimed, proud and fat in his mourning blacks.
“I fucking hate you,” Make Plymouth Rock Great Again hat grumbled to the greasy hair.
Typo alert:
the hat asked, tinged lightly with waviness
the hat trilled, the waviness intensifying…
This is why no one likes you.
correct
Who was the first Pilgrim leader? Struthers Martin?
Donald should totally be him.
Now I’ve got stuck in my head, Donald trying to recite Martin’s Cool Hand Luke speech. DAMN YOU ZWAK! DAAAAAMN YOU TO HELLLLLLL.
“No, you take what is yours,” Donald said. “Seize the turkey, ravage it, leave what you don’t want for the others. Competition is the heart of America.”
Typical capitalist. Take all the good parts, leave the scraps for the peasants.
Creative destruction
“Times, they are a-changin”
Take all the good parts, – the neck?
<===
“Kamala is drunk, Walz is face-down in a twink, Ella is vegan again, yadda, yadda,” the hat said, “I just don’t care.”
The first step on the road to recovery. A lot of people should try it.
Vegain again.
Poor old Ella veganagain begin again…
I’m wondering what Joe, Dr. Jill, and Karine are up to this Thanksgiving?
+ 1 fuck tunnel?
I hereby declare R C Dean to be accursed. Damn his eyes, damn his nose, damn his jacket, damn his toes.
I will now go drink an entire bottle of Shiraz to get that out of my mind.
And Bill and Hillary and Barry and Michelle.
the air becomes wavi……
Thank god! The medicinal bourbon is kicking in.
*thunderous applause*
Also: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7-fCt1nitmk
Every time Ella comes up I think of Don Atari in Zoolander 2.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=CHzsuq8lQSY
Too pointy-headed, too cerealable.
It took me a while…
Almost a Bushism.
SF is too clever for that simplistic a turn.
all the other characters
Fourth wall fading in and out of existence.
https://www.reuters.com/world/us/trump-cabinet-nominees-targeted-with-bomb-threats-swatting-spokesperson-says-2024-11-27/
Trump cabinet picks targeted with bomb threats, ‘swatting’, spokesperson says
Several of Donald Trump’s cabinet and administration picks were targeted in recent hours with actions including bomb threats and “swatting,” a spokesperson for the U.S.-president elect said on Wednesday.
The threats were made Tuesday night and Wednesday morning, and law enforcement acted quickly to ensure the safety of those targeted, spokesperson Karoline Leavitt said in a statement.
The party of peace and tolerance.
Speaking of, does anyone have insight on the story that Elon released names of some of the first employees he wants to fire from government service?
Last bullet is for Elon.
Aside from the fake kidnapping plot by the FBI on Whitmer, were any of the dems under Biden targeted?
“Forsooth, we do thank the heathen for this bounty,” Pilgrim Donald proclaimed, proud and fat in his mourning blacks.
“I fucking hate you,” Make Plymouth Rock Great Again hat grumbled to the greasy hair.
I thought Charlie Brown Thanksgiving was the apex of the Thanksgiving Special genre.
I was mistaken.
You miswrote WKRP Thanksgiving special
So much this! 🦃
Semi-related and too-local, Dayton native Gary Sandy just appeared in a kinda cute locally-produced Christmas special filmed in our local historical park, home to one of the original Wright Flyers and other shining examples of Dayton’s proud heritage of technological innovation!
As god is my witness . . . . .
Also amazing, but the memories of my son as a toddler laughing his ass off at Snoopy fighting the chair tips it to CB for me.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=90cB9qeNajs&ab_channel=JoeCool
Classic.
That’s not real, Tundra, someone made that up…
It’s real, Fourscore.
Eerily real.
Happy Thanksgiving! What’s for dinner?
Grrr. The WRX/STI needs new brakes and a power steering rack. $6k.
That sucks but you’ll be good for a long time. Think of it as $1500 more than sales tax on a new car.
new car
Oh, a *car*. I was wondering why he needed power steering on a gun.
Looking at new car prices it, it almost always makes sense to put cash into an old car. Couple thousand may hurt, but better than $50k and likely similar maintenance/repair bills.
(hoping the 2008 4Runner has another 150k miles in it…)
“(hoping the 2008 4Runner has another 150k miles in it…)”
It does.
I don’t shoot divisions where muzzle brakes are legal either.
It does.
Don’t forget timing belt/tensioners, people. That’s something that needs attention even if it it has a chain. Also, there is no such thing as “lifetime” anything on a vehicle. That just means warranty period and it’s total bullshit.
Modern cars are pretty remarkable, but maintenance is still paramount.
ouch.
My Z has not suffered any significant failures so far.
Keeping my fingers crossed.
Yep, the Frontier needs new rotors and I just spent a few grand on plumbing for the house.
Money knows when to punish your hubris.
Ouch.
Dealership pricing or private garage?
Dealership.
Man, that’s about 2K worth of OEM parts and $4K of labor?
That’s pretty steep for the labor unless the WRX steering rack replacement requires a engine removal.
“NYS surcharge”
Assuming inflation, labor is what? $140/hr now?
The fancy-schmancy Brembo brakes undoubtedly add to the price.
https://www.buybrakes.com/2018-subaru-wrx-sti/big-brake-kits/brembo-gt-slotted-brake-kits
Brembo disks are very expensive. My scatpack has them and I hope they don’t need replacement anytime soon.
“Kamala is drunk, Walz is face-down in a twink, Ella is vegan again, yadda, yadda,” the hat said, “I just don’t care.”
But about that intern that had the big tits… Astrid was her name?
Sometimes the workday can be too quiet. It especially drags on these days adjacent to a holiday when a lot of people are out.
I gotta get out of this place.
Boy howdy that is right. I hosted all the off shore one on ones, updated documentation, then started staring into space.
I gave up and decided to drive to Shreveport early.
I’ll wave to Suthen as I enter Louisiana.
I managed to get updates on the tickets that needed them. I’m not expecting any action on any of my outstanding requests (due to holiday and vacation time). So now to sit here and hope nothing catches on fire in the “cloud”.
Have a good trip!
I hosted all the off shore one on ones,
I was juggling things this morning and missed my one on one with my boss. When I realized my mistake, I contacted him, apologized, and asked if he wanted to talk. He seemed to have no problems with my missing the meeting. He knew I had things to juggle and that last night I was working until about 8 PM or 9 PM on bugs. He’s been kinda quiet today. Maybe he knocked off work early.
I just had my last call of the week. I’m tapping out.
Great song.
Happy Thanksgiving to all of you!
Bacon!
I was looking for alliterative terms to return the sentiment but I failed.
Have a happy thanksgiving.
I’m curious. What do you do for Tryptophan Day, UCS? You almost never talk about your family.
Not much. My family does not live near me.
My first thanksgiving on my own I tried to be cute and cooked a cornish hen to have a miniature thanksgiving. It just made me sad at being alone and I almost broke down. I didn’t do anything special for years.
Last year I cooked a cornish hen again because I’d gotten over the initial separation. This year it’s filet mignon… sorta.
I generally work black friday to save on vacation leave, so travelling the long distances isn’t really practical.
Well. I haz a sad for you.
UCS,
If you ever feel that way again hit me up…you’re invited to my spatchcockfest.
I appreciate the offer, Bacon.
Though I don’t know what corner of the country you’re in.
I appreciate the offer, Bacon.
Though I don’t know what corner of the country you’re in.
I’ll let bacon out himself on location.
If anyone out there is passing through bacon’s location, you should have drinks with him. He’s a good guy.
Seconded, DEG. Seconded. He’s a righteous dude.
Happy Thanksgiving, Bacon!
Big plans?
Giving thanks he’s not a turkey?
Wait, was I not supposed to make that turkey out of bacon-wrapped ground meats?
Spatchcocking.
That’s not even a euphemism, is it?
Spatchcocking is the best cocking.
That sounded better in my head.
Happy Thanksgiving!
Happy Thanksgiving!
Weekend plans
Selling my Xterra to my daughter who has been driving it for the last three years. At least I’ll get some money out of her for it.
Looking at a 2017 Nissan Versa with a manual transmission. It’s a small, cheap economy car that I can drive to work instead of the truck during winter (while the Z is parked until spring).
Adding another lower tech car to the fleet. I refuse to buy anything built after 2019.
Cool. How many miles on the Versa?
83k
As far as I can tell — no cruise control, no power windows, no power locks.
It’s like stepping back in time.
Versa is the cheapest car on the market right now. It’s the only non-sports-car that comes with a standard trasnmission.
And it’s being discontinued after the 2025 model year.
Nobody can make money on cheap, simple cars.
Perfect!
And it’s being discontinued after the 2025 model year.
Because of course it is.
I have a vivid memory of breaking the handle off a window crank because I hadn’t realized the window was iced shut.
Don’t ask me why I was trying to open the car window in winter, I don’t remember.
I had a ’91(?) Ford Festiva with crank windows. The driver’s side window would sometimes go crooked and get stuck. Once my mom was in the hospital with a broken hip over Christmas. On Christmas Day after we celebrated in Mom’s hospital room, I went home briefly to shower. On the way out of the hospital parking garage, my window got stuck when I rolled it down for the attendant. I pushed the crank too hard, and the window shattered, sending safety glass shards all over my lap and the floor of the car.
I love my 2010 Versa…I’m-a drive it until it gives up the ghost.
Good to hear.
Pre-Thanksgiving/regular midweek Zoom? I’ll hop on later tonight at any rate.
Depends on how much work I have.
Drinking tonight sounds like an excellent idea.
Seeing as I use English in its proper form I find it annoying that some people pluralize words that are their own plural. Also, using the diminutive os certain words as slang.
*sigh*
Apparently typos do not bother me at all.
There are just different Englishes running around.
that is the most reasonable and concise way I ever saw it put; congrats *
* mid 16th century: from Latin congratulat- ‘congratulated’, from the verb congratulari, from con- ‘with’ + gratulari ‘show joy’ (from gratus ‘pleasing’)
I speak the local dialect, not the same as slang.
“Haven’t been down to the crick lately, to see if the suckers are runnin’ “
What’s the difference between a crick and a creek?
One is a body of water, the other is a stiffness and pain in a joint, typicaly vertebral.
I use crick occasionally. It’s possibly part of the Inland North dialect.
I use crick occasionally. It’s possibly part of the Inland North dialect.
I switch between the two. I’ve never in my life figured out the rhyme or reason of why I do, I just do.
I don’t think anyone is certain why and how this evolved, but we are pretty sure that “crEEk” is the modern American and that “crick” was the original………….but
there is a chance that the only thing that changed was spelling, that it was always pronounced “crEEk” even when it was spelled crick all the way back at Plymouth Colony. Rhywan and Ted’S can probably explain it better, but AFAIK, most of the western world pronounces “i” as the long English “e”…or EE as I showeth above.
Adding to UCS’s excellent English observation, which English an American colonist spaketh depended heavily on from where in the British Isles he arose……….and the English there derived from which wave of which flavor of kraut or viking visited there when.
How anyone today inherited a version today pronounced “crick” I anyone’s guess: I truly believe this is recent (1850?) and was never a majority’s pronunciation anywhere or any time.
Thanks, Don!
I always thought “crick” was rural Pennsylvania, if my mom and stepfather were anything to go by.
Don:
My dictionary says it is from Old French crique which yes, would probably be pronounced creek. There was a big vowel shift in Middle English around that time – one part of it is where the spelling (long) ‘i’ came to be pronounced ‘aye’ instead of ‘ee’ so yeah, it is possible that the spelling might have changed to keep the sound.
Rhy – formal spelling in English wasn’t really settled until the 18th and 19th century when people began putting out dictionaries of the common words. It was more fluid before that.
Is this a dig at Gollum?
The worst part is when people take a word (noun/adjective/adverb), switch it to a different type (via -tion/-ly/-al) and then switch it BACK to the original type via the same process.
example, please
We gotta negationate this whole comment.
Also, Rill, not creek nor crick.
Condition – conditional – conditionalization
Or condition(v) – conditional – conditionalize
I hate added unnecessary syllables.
conversate → converse
orientated → oriented
Also despise “utilized.” No. The word is “used.”
I think an English prof I had once referred to “utilize” as a “pre-fab chicken coop” word.
Google says:
Use refers to using something for a given purpose, and utilize implies making the most effective use of something, often in a manner not initially intended.
Of course, that doesn’t change the fact that the vast majority of people misuse “utilize”.
Oh, and “bartended.” No. You tended bar.
We have to spend our spend.
Never enough
This year is the 50th anniversary of the EPA’s Automotive Trends Report. In that time, the agency said, American vehicles have become 99 percent cleaner, cutting pollutants like particulate matter, soot and carbon monoxide that contribute to asthma, heart problems and cancer.
But despite that progress, the EPA said, pollution from cars and trucks still harms public health and accounts for nearly 17 percent of all U.S. greenhouse gas emissions.
Ray Minjares is program director for heavy-duty vehicles at the nonprofit International Council on Clean Transportation, and he has 20 years of experience in environment, energy and transportation policy. Minjares said a 2019 ICCT study found that even with the long-term improvements to clean up cars and trucks, their exhaust still made up nearly 20 percent of all outdoor air pollution Americans encounter.
Particulate matter and ozone from autos contributed to about 22,000 annual premature deaths in the U.S., the ICCT study found, and the social cost of that health burden was about $210 billion.
I suppose 50 million people a year died from pollution before 1967. It’s a wonder there is anybody left.
A) victory won, can close up shop
B) no change in outcome, can close up shop
C) same share of an overall shrinking pie. For someone with 20 years of “experience”, using that is either incompetent or a propagandist. Either way, another name for Elon’s list.
Complete fantasy.
I only skimmed but didn’t see any reference to the environmental and human horrors caused by the associated mining and disposal of that shit. Just another hit piece on Donald.
Oh well, that stuff happens somewhere out of sight so carry on.
Backpfeifengesicht
Gesundheit.
So it’s 80 degrees today. And by Thanksgiving night it will be freezing. Yay.
Snow here tomorrow. I think I can get some yard work done before it comes in.
Cold and snow this morning. Now the sun is out and it’s all melting.
So, perfect.
I finally got my garlic patch tilled and planted on Satdee. It snowed Sundee and has been cold ever since.
43* and overcast. So, Oregon.
Minjares said that even with increased fuel efficiency and better emissions controls, health impacts from pollution will persist due to “the inherent fallibility” of the internal combustion engine.
“The way we get past that is we advance to zero-emission engines,” Minjares said.
“That’s the way we deal with these problems and put them to bed permanently.”
I think you mean shifted-emission vehicles. Unless you have a perpetual motion machine in your closet.
Thousands of EVs are stacking up around the world. People do not want them.
Lefty pols are losing around the world. People do not want them.
The EV pipe dream is over, because it was always retarded.
If the world had gone nuclear in, say, 1955 or so, then, yes, everyone would want one. But the greens of that time did everything they could to shoot down that idea, and, well, here we are.
Jesus tapdancing Christ, it really is a religion to these types.
Simple solution! Just ban all motor vehicles! Pollution goes away completed! Along with 95% of the population as an added bonus!
Morons. They’re also probably 15 minute city fans as well.
So it’s 80 degrees today. And by Thanksgiving night it will be freezing. Yay.
An inch or so of snow on the ground and high twenties here. The sun is supposed to come back out tomorrow.
Snow would be nice. It will just be cold and windy.
I hate added unnecessary syllables.
People who use the word “competency” should have their tongues ripped out with rusty vise-grips.
ACTUAL competency is sexy.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dWXuRO7qYQw
https://nationalpost.com/opinion/ontario-town-fined-10000-for-refusing-to-celebrate-pride-month
OFFS.
Emo, Ontario…LOL
Has there ever been a “tribunal” that wasn’t creepy and totalitarian?
Wild guess I suspect Tribunal comes from Tribune, implying a council of Tribunes, which would have been neutral or positive in Roman times.
Dance to our tune or else, bigots.
Disgusting.
Diesel engines are responsible for a disproportionate amount of the pollution, Minjares said. In the U.S., roughly three-quarters of the most damaging tailpipe emissions came from diesel vehicles, especially heavy-duty trucks and buses.
“It would make sense from a public health perspective to really double down on controlling these heavy-duty diesel vehicles and, even better, electrifying them,” he said.
Because there is no functional difference between long distance heavy diesel trucks and electrics. The fleet would have been changed over long ago if not for the devious machinations of Big Oil.