Trashy’s Ten Trash Thoughts for Turning down the Turnout

by | Nov 4, 2024 | I Am Lame | 185 comments

*EDITOR’S NOTE* THIS IS TIMELY, AND IT GETS ME OUT OF DOING LINKS, SO ENJOY. BTW – WE NEED MORE POSTS FOR THE SITE.

/Swiss

In this post, I give you ten low-thought ideas for improving the voting pool. If I offend you, I’m sorry, be better.

Rule #1: Anybody who still has the dealer’s license plate surround on their car should be ineligible to vote. If you’re too lazy or too oblivious to take that piece of tacky advertising off your daily driver, you are not qualified to weigh in on the common governance of this country.

Rule #2: Anybody who begins an internet comment with “as a _____, I believe…” should have their voting rights taken away. As a stitched together piece of felt, I believe that appealing to your own authority as a reflex shows a complete lack of critical thinking skills, which is incompatible with the franchise.

Rule #3: Anybody who wears the “I voted” sticker should have their ballot fed into a paper shredder. You’re clearly just a mindless follower anyway, so we’ll count the guy before you’s ballot twice instead.

Rule #4: People with more than 2 bumper stickers on their car should have their ballot glued to their windshield instead of counted. Coexist with that hanging chad in your blindspot, you knob!

Rule #5: Anybody displaying a Ukraine flag in their social media profile should be given a one way ticket to Kiev instead of a ballot and have their US citizenship revoked. Gear up grandma, winter is cold in Eastern Europe.

Rule #6: Anybody who says “this is the most important election ever” should be made to watch as each and every one of their ballot choices is inverted, and then applied to 40 dead people’s ballots. That trope is so dead it reliably votes democrat.

Rule #7: Everybody who is over 25 and says “rizz” should be forced to write “I try too hard because I’ve had ED since I was 16” 100 times on their ballot instead of voting. Make them do it in cursive just to prove that they’re old enough to know cursive.

Rule #8: Anybody who unnecessarily passes on the right or lingers in the left lane on a highway should be a felon and shouldn’t have any voting rights. We’ve conquered civilizations for less barbary than this.

Rule #9: People who say “furbaby” or “pet parent” should have their ballot fixed, and by fixed, I mean have all the important bits cut off. Help control the vote population, have your ballot spayed or neutered.

Rule #10: People who loudly wish for a “return to civility” should have their ballot civilly and respectfully fed to a stallion. It may be all horsing around these days, but at least your vote will have the privilege of literally becoming the horseshit it was from the beginning.

About The Author

trshmnstr

trshmnstr

I stink, therefore I am.

185 Comments

  1. The Gunslinger

    A coworker buddy recently bought a used pickup truck. I made sure he removed the dealer license plate thingy and the dealer sticker immediately. I hate those things.

    • SDF-7

      My wife’s still has the dealer info on the lower left of the stern. I don’t think it is a sticker per se — no idea how to get it off without killing the paint, so I’ve just left it. Not likely to do them much good anyway since we bought it just before we had to move back to California from Georgia and all — but if somehow it does get them one transcontinental sale, I dare say they earned it.

    • Sensei

      Around here they avoid that by putting fucking stickers you have to scrape off on your new car.

      Fortunately only an issue on my son’s Honda. At least the Acura had a plastic frame I could trash.

      • The Gunslinger

        I think the stickers come off okay if you get them right away. After years out in the sun it’s probably worse. My buddy said his practically fell off when he removed it.

      • Sensei

        Yeah, a fingernail took it off within a day of purchase.

        But it was more annoying than trashing the plastic frame.

      • CatchTheCarp

        Get a can of 3M Adhesive Remover which is sold at Auto Zone and likely other places. Will not harm the finish/clear coat on your vehicle and removes those stupid dealer applied stickers in a jiffy. This stuff works.

  2. slumbrew

    Your ideas are intriguing to me, and I wish to subscribe to your newsletter.

    • slumbrew

      I keep getting the stink-eye when I scoff at the ‘I voted’ sticker – why is it so important to you that I take one, old man? What am I, 12? “Oooh, a sticker!” (If you hear Bill Burr’s voice reading that, my work here is done.)

      • Nephilium

        They really don’t like it when I tell them that the lids of all the garbage cans in my house have an “I Voted” sticker on them already.

      • Rat on a train

        “Who doesn’t want to wear the sticker?!”

      • Tonio

        “Oooh, a sticker!”

        Oh, I’m going to incorporate that into my prepared remarks (see my 3:36 comment, below). Thanks.

      • Aloysious

        Slum, I heard Sam Kinison screaming.

    • Tonio

      [golf clap] for the nostalgia of Slumbrew’s original comment.

  3. Sean

    I’m out at #1.

    *sad trombone*

    True story – My last nice plate surround was stolen, along with my license plate. Therefore, I no longer GAF.

  4. SDF-7

    Anybody who still has the dealer’s license plate surround on their car should be ineligible to vote.

    Meh — exceptions for anyone directly employed by the dealership (or immediate relations). No reason not to do free advertising.

    Swiss — just how desparate is the site for content? I posed a query if I should write up my last home NAS build experience based on UCS’s comments and got zero response (and presumably interest)…. I’ve never done an article, but that’s about the only thing that might be interesting to folks I can think of….

    • Sensei

      I’d read it. I’d be more curious on the software side than the hardware.

      One of the things that precludes me from going that route (among many) is I’d at least like to think that the major NAS manufacturers have done more failure regression testing to figure out what is going to prevent you from rebuilding an array.

      “Oh yeah, TruNAS has that bug on the tracker. It only impacts 8TB HDDs so it wasn’t a priority… Unlike those big iron people we don’t have a hardware white list!”

      All the money you just saved gets turned into hours of research and work while your data sits on a degraded array. Yeah!

      • cyto

        I have used the free solutions.

        But I enjoy that stuff

        The cheap consumer stuff uses that software with a wrapper and an underpowered processor (ask me how I know).

        I used i-SCSI configurations to use some older PCs to act as a big server with a Journaling file system. Worked great for our dev system while I twisted arms to get a real dev system.

        The power in these thing is astonishing. You can do real big-boy stuff with very mid hardware.

        So, short answer – he’ll yeah, I’d love to read an article about your experience.

    • slumbrew

      If someone asks if you’re a god, you say “yes”.

      Yes, we want your article.

      • slumbrew

        *le sigh*

      • SDF-7

        Ok… I’ll start writing it up in Notepad++ as a neutral format (https://www.glibertarians.com/2018/06/call-for-articles/ says that should be okay) and submit it in a reasonably timely fashion.

        Apologies in advance — if folks think I’m longwinded in comment responses….

      • UnCivilServant

        Get it in before I write up the comedy of errors for my upgrade, so people know how it’s done correctly before I show them the wrong way.

      • cyto

        Notepad++????

        WTF???

        vi dude.

        Unless you are one of those weirdos who writes everything in LaTex using emacs

      • SDF-7

        I’m not firing up WSL or rebooting to my Fedora partition just to write this, UCS. Steam and Musicbee work better in Windows for most of what I do non-work, so yes — I do tend to be there for my personal stuff.

        It can’t all be as joyous as OS/2 Warp 4. Sigh.

        (Now my actual work environment remains cscope+gVim… albeit I’ve had to move to using Ubuntu+WSL because Corp IT has pretty much locked down on Linux machines…)

      • Ted S.

        Unless you are one of those weirdos who writes everything in LaTex using emacs

        Butterflies.

      • rhywun

        Butterflies.

        As a person who has suffered through an emacs tutorial, I believe in laffing.

    • Tonio

      Yes, we want your article. I’ll email you either tonight or tomorrow morning.

    • grrizzly

      A friend of mine set up a NAS server for me. I even heard of i-SCSI, see below. I will read it.

      • SDF-7

        I’m starting to get worried that I don’t do iSCSI — who knew there were so many fans of it around here?

  5. Sean

    Rule #8: Anybody who unnecessarily passes on the right

    It’s absolutely necessary. Tell that fat fuck slowing me down to get over.

    • Drake

      This. My patience while commuting is too limited to wait for idiot loitering in the far left lane to wake up and do the right thing.

      • cyto

        I commuted in Atlanta for 15 years. Learn the traffic pattern and get your zen.

        I spent years surfing lanes, trying to get ahead. After using marker vehicles to monitor progress, I figured out that this generally doesn’t work

        But there are locations where staying right is fastest. Or staying in the middle.

        Learn those, find your peace and just go with the flow. It is a much better experience.

    • grrizzly

      This rule is nonexistent in New England. Drivers pass in any lane.

      • Drake

        NH used to enforce the pass on the left rule and ticket both drivers. Probably gave up with the influx of Massholes.

    • mindyourbusiness

      Possible addition to Rule 8; the assholes who tailgate you to their turnoff.

      • Rat on a train

        tailgates multiple miles in the right lane

      • mindyourbusiness

        Exactly, Rat. Maybe throw in a two-stroke bastinado as a door prize.

    • ZWAK, doktor of BRAIN SCIENCE!

      In Oregon, the slows drive in the middle lane. I feel no issues with passing on the right.

  6. Shpip

    Anybody who wears the “I voted” sticker should have their ballot fed into a paper shredder.

    I pissed off a few of my lefty friends four years ago when I called those “participation trophies for ostensible grown-ups.”

    • Tonio

      I’m going to use that, too. (See my 3:36 comment)

  7. trshmnstr

    exceptions for anyone directly employed by the dealership (or immediate relations). No reason not to do free advertising.

    Exception approved. 🧑‍⚖️

  8. SDF-7

    Everybody who is over 25 and says “rizz”

    I thought that was out due to “No P-nut November” or something (which is my way of saying I don’t even know what that means….)

    As a person approaching AARP membership, I can’t stand slang like “suss” instead of suspicious anyway… so whatever rizz is can just stay all over the youngsters’ faces as they get off my lawn or something.

    • slumbrew

      How do you do, fellow old-person?

      I, too, have no idea what ‘rizz’ means.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        The best crackers, way better than saltines, excellent with pimento cheese or tuna fish salad.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        Try the mock apple pie recipe! (Or not: I haven’t.)

        Short for charisma. 🙄

    • OBJ FRANKELSON

      There needs to be parental exception for when you are using zoomer slang to annoy/embarrass/elicit a groan from your child.

      • cyto

        That is one of life’s true great joys.

        In fact, I just did it to my daughter and her friends.

      • OBJ FRANKELSON

        Truly. A well earned, earnest eye roll is a reward unto itself.

      • trshmnstr

        I forgot to add “unironically” in the rule. Harassing your children is always an exception.

      • kinnath

        My kids are a wee bit older than the zoomers.

    • Tonio

      I learned from a friend with young children that it’s a contraction of “charisma.”

  9. kinnath

    As a cheapskate, I believe that free love is a fair price.

    • cyto

      Well, that leaves marriage out of the picture….

    • pistoffnick (370HSSV)

      TANSTAAFL

  10. cyto

    Local 10 news (ABC) just did a feature “candidates delivering their closing messages”

    Started with Harris. Short clips of speech applause lines, lots of shots of cheering crowd.

    Trump – “again using violent rhetoric” shows him telling joke about the shields protecting him saying “if they want to get me, they have to go through the fake news, and I’m OK with that.

    “The Trump campaign claims that heard was joking, but this follows violent rhetoric last week….”

    Trump continued his divisive and racist language- clip of Trump saying he will have the largest deportation of criminals in history.

    Harris clip was 100% positive, and fairly brief. Trump clip was 100% negative and relatively long, mostly using illegitimate framing.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Everyone with a triple digit IQ knows the media’s full of shit. They might pretend to take their nonsense at face value but I’m pretty sure they’re lying.

      • cyto

        I thought it was pretty extreme for a local broadcast where national stories are usually pretty bland.

        Actually, now that I think of it….. this was probably a national story given to the station to have a local reporter introduce and do the voice-over.

        That would make a lot more sense..

      • Chipping Pioneer

        I am convinced that the average IQ is WAY below 100.

  11. trshmnstr

    (by the way, this is in the links time slot, so feel free to go off topic)

    • Tonio

      That’s most gracious of you.

  12. The Other Kevin

    Attention Texas Glibs, I will be in Dallas this coming Thursday-Sunday to participate in the NHL Sled Classic. Here’s the official web site:
    https://www.usahockey.com/2024sledclassic

    I’m Chicago Blackhawks, Tier 3 this time. I’m a bit nervous about flying out Thursday morning, hopefully the mostly peaceful protests will be minimal.

    • Tundra

      Awesome!

      Good luck!

  13. Toxteth O'Grady

    What about Glibs logo / STEVE SMITH stickers?

  14. The Gunslinger

    What’s everyone’s plan for watching returns tomorrow night? Just hang out here with all the cool kids?

    • Sensei

      No need to worry. The ballots will continue to be manufactured well into the week or even the weekend!

      • Tonio

        My feeling is that we won’t have a result for a couple of days, at least. Remember that some states will count mailed-in ballots that arrive after the election (I think they require a postmark not later than election day).

      • Rat on a train

        We’ll keep counting for as long as it takes to win.

      • Rat on a train

        Remember that some states will count mailed-in ballots that arrive after the election (I think they require a postmark not later than election day).
        The Nevada Supreme Court decreed no postmark required.

    • trshmnstr

      Probably. I’ll poke my head in, see how everything is going, and then go to sleep fully expecting that Kamala will be in the lead when I wake back up, no matter how it is tomorrow night.

      • SDF-7

        Same. I’m not sure I’ll even bother looking beyond opening up townhall.com and seeing the headlines (“Trump showing signs of massive landslide!” — They have good stuff… but they can be more than a little cheerleader-ish) tomorrow afternoon. And expect at least one “water pipe burst, all observers kicked out — Kamala now 300000 votes ahead!” type occurrence and the other swing states to drag it out a week.

      • cyto

        I have stumbled across 3 stories on TV today about how everything could come down to Nevada, which could take 3 weeks to count.

        (Last margin I saw was 7 percent. But I guess they expect that to change?)

      • slumbrew

        ^^^ this guy gets it ^^^

      • B.P.

        Three weeks to count Nevada? Don’t, like, 3 or 4 hundred people live there?

      • The Gunslinger

        I think the only way we have results tomorrow is a 40+ state Trump landslide. Also, I think that’s his only chance of winning. If it comes down to swing states, the result will be fortified.

      • Drake

        If Trump wins Virginia or another non-rigging state early, it’s over. If not, you know the script.

        Only way the script gets detailed if Shapiro wants to run in 2028 and minimizes PA cheating.

      • Chipping Pioneer

        I think Trump’s floor is 312 EC votes. He wins all 7 swing states, flips NH, and makes VA, MN, and OR close.

      • The Last American Hero

        There aren’t seven swing states.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Wash down two Benadryl with a few shots of vodka around 8:00 pm and hopefully wake up to good news.

    • OBJ FRANKELSON

      I am going to traveling to/from Lake Charles for my youngest marching band competition, so I won’t be watching too much. But whatever I do watchv am planning on watching on The Lotus Eaters stream on Rumble.

      • cyto

        Jealous. I have 2 with musical talent and interest…. both quit during covid and wouldn’t go back.

        I loved my time in marching band. Glad your youngling is getting that experience.

      • OBJ FRANKELSON

        The coof hit our school’s program pretty hard too, it is starting to bounce back though.

        I have been fortunate I got 3 of 4 in marching banf. The youngest is showing some interest in following in her old man’s footsteps and marching Drum Corps this summer.

      • cyto

        This years DCI was pretty amazing. The music and musicianship was over the top.

        I wish they could broadcast it in a way that conveys the live experience. There really is nothing like it.

    • KK, Plump & Unfiltered

      My TV just broke, so I got that going for me. I’ll probably consume echo-chamber Tweets, maybe Zoom?

      • R.J.

        Pluto on the PC. Mainline that crappy news coverage, or watch a Godzilla film. They have that new Wild, Wild West channel too.

    • The Other Kevin

      Somehow I volunteered to officiate a roller derby scrimmage. That’s until 9. I plan on checking Twitter, and seeing what Matt and Walter have to say on their show if I get the chance.

    • Chipping Pioneer

      I’m trying to figure out what Malice will be on, and watch that.

  15. KK, Plump & Unfiltered

    As a female libertarian, I believe Bigfoot is real; I am going to kiss him; he will be my lover; I will be the little spoon; me and Bigfoot will fuck and you can’t stop us

    • cyto

      Neither female libertarians nor Bigfoot exist… so joke’s on you.

    • SDF-7

      I’m certainly not going to sass you being squashed, KK.

      • The Other Kevin

        I feel like a skunk, aping these same lines.

    • JaimeRoberto (carnitas/spicy salsa)

      Go on…

    • Gdragon

      You just made me wonder what Chuck Tingle is doing these days. I haven’t thought about that name in a long time.

  16. Tonio

    I had a run-in with a poll worker last election. Karen was totes unhappy that I didn’t want the “I Voted” sticker and implied that was probably holding out for a free beer. She wasn’t expecting the vitriolic lecture I delivered on civic responsibility, virtue-signalling, and how there were people in society that didn’t need to be bribed or tricked into doing the right thing.

    I’ve been polishing that speech should I need it again.

    • cyto

      It puts the sticker on its shirt….

    • KK, Plump & Unfiltered

      I will not wear the ribbon!

    • R.J.

      I just glared. The googly eyes put them off. Raycists.

    • Tundra

      “I’m not even a citizen!”

    • ZWAK, doktor of BRAIN SCIENCE!

      Wait, there is free beer?

  17. DEG

    This is beautiful and I agree with everything you wrote.

    • trshmnstr

      The girl will receive $65,000 in the settlement, court papers show.

      🙄🙄 Where did the other 80% go?

      • R.J.

        You know, it went to teacher’s unions and stuff like that.

      • SDF-7

        Legal fees?

      • R.J.

        Oh, I nailed it.

    • B.P.

      Was it the Haitians that made all of this pet killing cool?

    • Shpip

      Cedar was 4 months old in April 2022 when Jessica Long bought the white Boer goat for $300 for her 9-year-old daughter ahead of the Shasta District Fair that June.

      Apparently, the goat’s diplomatic immunity got revoked.

      (I kid.)

      • pistoffnick (370HSSV)

        *Bill Grogan groans

  18. JaimeRoberto (carnitas/spicy salsa)

    Hard to argue with most of these, regarding rule #3, I used to give my “I voted” stickers to my kids as a protest against lax election security.

    • trshmnstr

      I’ll do the same tomorrow. My daughters are very interested in the voting process, so theyll enjoy getting a sticker out of it.

      They’re pretty oblivious about the election itself, but they asked about all the “no on 3” signs (3 is the abortion amendment). I explained it to them, and the 7 year old reminds me that I have to vote no on 3 every time the election comes up.

  19. Tonio

    Strongly agree with Rule #9. That’s a reliable marker for persons who are incapable of rational thought.

    • slumbrew

      I love the hell out of my dog but just, “no”. I’m her owner, not her parent.

      (Though, shit, “go see mom” does get uttered now and then)

  20. R.J.

    I voted last week and had a staffer recoil in horror when I refused my “I voted” sticker not once, but twice.

    • Rat on a train

      Just take it and stick it on a buttock.

      • SDF-7

        If Blue Ribbons can be slapped on them, why not “I voted!”? Good point.

  21. JaimeRoberto (carnitas/spicy salsa)

    People who say furbaby shouldn’t just have their ballot neutered. They themselves should be neutered.

    • Suthenboy

      “I wanted everyone to have health insurance I just didnt know I was going to have to pay for it!”

      The bulk of humanity is made of lying thieves and cowards.

      “I like Donald Trump’s policies but I just cant stand the guy”
      “My head wants to do one thing but my heart wants something different.”

      Fuck people’s feelings. And while we are at it fuck the doe-eyed children and sad bunnies too.

  22. R.J.

    Gaaaah. Election day tomorrow, and me with no bourbon. Are we staying up and Zooming?

  23. Suthenboy

    I am going to agree with all save no.2. For that one I agree x1000
    Add one more: People who make long winded, contrived bullshit arguments in bad faith for making voter fraud easier lose their vote for life.

    Show up in person, show id, fill out a paper ballot and sign it swearing you are a citizen and live in said voter district. Make it a felony to lie on the ballot form.

    I would also add that throughout history every set of rules imaginable has been tried and every one of them gamed by the same kinds of people.
    That would include not having a popular vote and a caste of philosopher kings hand pick office holders.

    Have we become Adams’ immoral people incapable of being governed by any but an iron fisted tyrant?

  24. The Other Kevin

    I’ll bet you’d all change your minds about the I Voted stickers if they were scratch ‘n sniff.

  25. Not Adahn

    I will take me “I voted” sticker and put it on my holster.

  26. The Late P Brooks

    Speaking of cultural artifacts of a bygone era…

    I watched Head last night.

    it has not aged particularly well, in my view.

  27. The Late P Brooks

    Let there be love and healing

    “We have an opportunity in this election to finally turn the page on a decade of politics driven by fear and division,” Harris said during a rally at Michigan State University in East Lansing. “We are done with that. And we are exhausted with it…. America is ready for a fresh start, ready for a new way forward where we see our fellow American not as an enemy, but as a neighbor.”

    A Harris campaign official confirmed to Newsweek that Harris’ rally on Sunday was the first since she entered the presidential race where she did not mention Trump by name, and was part of an effort to end the campaign on a “fully positive” note.

    Forgive and forget. Live and let live.

    • rhywun

      a decade of politics driven by fear and division

      Does she even listen to herself talk…?

      • R.J.

        Buttplug did his own recording, where he basically said “vote for us and things will go back to normal.”
        That’s a damn threat!

      • rhywun

        If she wins by running against her own fucking experience from the previous four years, well… it must be a first or something.

    • B.P.

      I thought the country voted for this in 2020 (return to normalcy, end of divisiveness, etc.). Now we gotta do it again?

    • Ed Wuncler

      I’m pretty pessimistic and think she’s going to be our next President. And the crazy part is that the economy is going to tank during her time in office and the Left will do whatever they can to censor that information and pretend like it’s the GOP and the greedy corporation’s fault.

    • R.J.

      Agreed. It’s last-minute shit nobody can prove fake until after the election.

  28. The Late P Brooks

    Anxiety attack

    Elections are common wellsprings of anxiety because they’re rife with uncertainty, says David H. Rosmarin, the founder of the Center for Anxiety. You’re unsure of the outcome, and unsure of what life may look like for you under a new administration, especially when the difference between the two choices is undeniably vast. Some of the proposed policies may threaten people’s safety and freedoms, resulting in even more anxiety. Research shows political anxiety can impact people who aren’t generally anxious otherwise.

    Destruction of democracy, next stop. Everybody off. Elections should not be about wild abrupt policy swings. Why would you push that narrative, unless you’re actively hoping for civil war?

  29. The Late P Brooks

    I was excited when I saw it and thought of posting it. I changed my mind.

    To be honest, I’m pretty sure virtually everybody who saw it when it came out thought it sucked.

  30. The Late P Brooks

    There are key differences between everyday anxiety and election-related anxiety. Sometimes, generalized anxiety is rooted in cognitive distortions, or inaccurate beliefs or fears about the world. But election-based distress isn’t necessarily based on hypotheticals or overreactions, says licensed clinical social worker Jneé Hill. “A lot of the concerns,” she says, “are very real and very valid based on people’s real lives and lived experiences.”

    Of course they are, you delusional fucking psycho.

  31. Aloysious

    These ten thoughts are neither hostile nor angry enough.

    Casting a vote should be painful. Painful like listening to Tom Jones for one hour straight.

  32. trshmnstr

    Random question for yall. Are slippers disposable or should they last a long time?

    I’d love to have slippers that last a long time, but I find that they get grungy on the inside after a few months, and the outsides wear out after a couple years. I got a nice pair of Minnetonkas that had this happen to them after a couple years, and I would really like to keep them, but they’d need a full on refurbishment. I may as well buy cheaper slippers annually if the good ones only last a couple years.

    • Tundra

      Inside only? I had a pair of Uggs that probably lasted a decade. I used them inside and out and just regularly refreshed them. When they died I got a pair of Deerfoam at Costco. They are OK, but you definitely get what you pay for. I’ve had them for a couple years and I doubt they’ll make it through the season.

      • trshmnstr

        Inside only?

        More or less. The Minnetonkas were probably the most comfortable slippers/moccasins I’ve ever owned, but the sole was too small, and I wore deeply into the leather where my foot would hit the ground. I also have no idea how to refresh the interior, which needs it badly.

      • Tundra

        Uggs have a spray that works well.

        I never bought any of the aristocratic leather slippers because I don’t feel like changing to take the dog out.

      • ZWAK, doktor of BRAIN SCIENCE!

        Uggs? What sorority did you pledge?

      • Tundra

        “What sorority did you pledge?”

        Onna Toppa Yo Sister

        No ragrets. I still have a cool pair of black suede shoes that are at least 15 years old. I’m sure like everything their quality has gone to shit, but I’ve had great luck.

    • Sean

      They’ll last much longer if you don’t wear them.

    • ZWAK, doktor of BRAIN SCIENCE!

      I have a nice set of allbirds, and they last a few years a pair. They are shoes, I will beat them up, and I will not look back.

    • Chipping Pioneer

      Moose hide > deer hide

    • one true athena

      you can clean gross shearling with mild soap and a damp cloth, air dry, and then finish with a blow dryer. use your fingers to get the fluff back.

  33. Ed Wuncler

    I’m debating whether to even watch the results tomorrow or just do a blackout and be surprised Wednesday morning. It’s not the election itself that’s bothering me, it’s everyone’s (mostly my Liberal friends) opinions which aren’t informed and drenched with arrogance and condescending.

    • Chipping Pioneer

      Find new friends.

      • Tundra

        Find new ways to torture them.

      • Ed Wuncler

        I’ve gotten to the point that when they try to lecture me about who I should vote for, I tell them that our two choices are between going towards authoritarianism at the speed limit and going towards it running all of the red lights and stop signs. The Left can’t seem to face up that everything they say about their opponents, they are doing themselves like fucking around with the first amendment, weaponizing the justice system against their opponent, and destroying women’s sports. After their fuckery during Trump’s term and lying to us during Biden’s term, I’m no longer afraid to tell them to fuck off.

    • The Last American Hero

      Meh, I’d lean into it. Tell them if Trump wins, you can’t shelter them in your attic like last time since you have to make room for the handmaiden, but if Harris wins, they can have your watch since you won’t need it at the reeducation camp.

    • rhywun

      I’m thinking of blacking out, too.

  34. Ed Wuncler

    I’m pretty pessimistic and think she’s going to be our next President. And the crazy part is that the economy is going to tank during her time in office and the Left will do whatever they can to censor that information and pretend like it’s the GOP and the greedy corporation’s fault.

    • LCDR_Fish

      TBF…we’ll probably take the senate and hold the house…”a pen and a phone” can only go so far with the Supreme Court and congress….(I hope)

    • Tundra

      Probably, but I’ve been shocked at how little visible support I’ve seen for the cum dumpster.

      I’ve seen absolute ass whoopin’s before (Reagan, Obama). It can happen again. As I told my son, a couple of speed bumps and loose lug nuts is good enough for me.

      • Ed Wuncler

        I live in the People’s Republic of Cleveland Heights, OH and while it’s mostly a progressive town, I’m kind of taken aback by how many Trump/Vance signs I’ve seen in the yards. Except for the delusional liberal women I know, most aren’t that excited that she’s the Democratic candidate.

      • Tundra

        Dude. I’m in suburban Denver. A pretty purple suburb, granted, but it’s still striking.

        No one likes this thundercunt. We’ll see if the smart ones stay home.

      • rhywun

        In my town, I can only assume that a house without signs is a Trump house.

        There aren’t terribly many signs but every single one of them is Democrat.

      • Suthenboy

        I dont think anyone wants Kammy, not even the Dems. When you have the likes of Kerry, Clinton, Biden and Obama campaigning for her the way they have why would she need Trump as a foil?

      • robodruid

        Trump seems happy.
        Harris….. does not.
        I do not see how every poll is 50:50/

    • KK, Plump & Unfiltered

      Yeah, like mint is soooooo hard to grow 🙄. TR was a snowflake.

      I’ve had many a mint julep in the Round Robin Bar.

  35. Evan from Evansville

    This brought happiness to my day: New York Times techs go on strike! (“Hundreds!”) From Shaka C: Senior Software Engineer at NYT:
    “I’m disappointed and tired that our management, after 2+ years, decided to not work in good faith to come to a fair deal that honors our labor.
    If you have worked with me before, hopefully you remember that I care deeply about inequity in the workplace. As a Black trans software engineer, I cannot afford to ignore it. I’m proud that my coworkers have decided to not ignore it either.”

    Issues: From our own pay study, conducted using salary data from management, we know that women and people of color experience pay disparities of up to 33%. We want to close that gap.
    Our guild is also seeking “just cause” protections in our first contract.. ..Finally, we’re working to protect remote and hybrid work in our union..”

    There are more, but meh. I’m THRILLED the New York Times is striking on Election Night’s Eve! I hope it lasts…

  36. The Artist Formerly Known as Lackadaisical

    I’m here for this.

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