The most merciful thing in the world, I think, is the inability of the human stomach to digest all its contents. We live on at placid dinner table of ignorance in the midst of black seas of Thanksgiving, and it was not meant that we should buffet far. The food sciences, each straining in its own direction, have hitherto harmed us little; but some day the piecing together of dissociated recipes will open up such terrifying vistas of food, and of our frightful plate of them, that we shall either go mad from the revelation or flee from the deadly menu into the peace and safety of a Detroit Lions game.
There are times people need to realize that just because they can put one food inside another doesn’t mean they SHOULD.
It does make it more difficult to cook things all the way through.
May we still put things on top of other things?
/looks to the north
Pretty sure that’s already been ruined as well.
So true.
I’m trying to stuff a hot dog into a Progressive. I mean, that’s sorta food, right?
Depends on where the hotdog is being stuffed.
Three choices, and I’ll take any of them.
Problem with that Progressive is one hole is inserted inside another hole.
All the Turduckens are mine.
Forced to provide our own links
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EmI77ZBeJrQ
craturpus?
It’s a baby Cthulhu.
I hear their are a devil when they hit puberty.
Terrifyingly adorable!
Turkraken is how I’ve seen it named.
+1 Turkraken.
I’m stealing that.
As well you should – that is good. Real good.
the piecing together of dissociated recipes
We’re gonna need a bigger blender.
I’m hoping that delicious octo and crab were cooked separately from the turkey. Or the person that cooked them is a gazillionaire and can afford to nuke all that seafood.
Also, I thought I had horseradish but I don’t have horseradish and I’m terrorized by the thought of the grocery store.
Foreign or domestic terror?
It would be domestic for me since I would go to Publix instead of Aldi or Lidl.
I just ran up to Sprouts and it was shockingly slow. 5 minutes tops.
Ingles is open until 4pm tomorrow…dare I make an attempt? Definitely not tonight, since I intend to be impaired in a matter of minutes.
DO IT!
Pumpkin pies are done and we bummed a quart of homemade cranberry sauce from a friend. That’s our contribution for tomorrow.
Meanwhile I took the day off and Mrs. TOK sent me for a massage. And soon we’ll go to dinner with the kid and son in law. Life is good.
I envy no man… but I might be a touch jealous of you, TOK.
“Travel hacks”
As millions of Americans take to the skies over the Thanksgiving holiday this week, some will likely be searching for easy travel hacks to help make their journeys a little less painful.
Among the many flying tips making the rounds in recent years on TikTok, this one continues to pop up: how to get a full bottle of water through a US airport security checkpoint.
Well, it turns out the answer is simple — freeze it, first.
No, you wouldn’t be breaking any rules. The US Transportation Security Administration (TSA) is actually on board with this one.
“Frozen liquid items are allowed through the checkpoint as long as they are frozen solid when presented for screening,” a TSA spokesperson confirmed to CNN by email.
Land of the free, they said.
Home of the brave, they said.
There’s a good target for DOGE to win them PR points with Americans….
But then we won’t get https://youtu.be/tEHV5UNntOo.
I just bring an empty container and fill it up at the water station inside the security perimeter.
Yeah, this isn’t exactly a challenge.
People be weird.
What drink water out of the tap? Are you crazy!
Sane people only drink water that has been bottled in some giant industrial plant. If you drink tap water you will get sick. At least as sick as all those microscopic plastic detritus will make you. How come we have such a bad plastic problem anyhow?
So…weaponized water bottles are hunky dory to carry aboard. ::files for future reference::
I guess frozen liquids don’t explode? They are still looking for explosives, right?
Is that what this is all about?
No, this is:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u6ZWV7cCK5A&ab_channel=TheClash-Topic
Was hoping for the Hokey Pokey, ideally by the band you linked. 😞
Here are travel “hacks” I wish more people knew:
— When you get to the end of the moving walk way, keep moving. Or at least move off to the side before stopping to look around for your gate. Don’t stop immediately at the end and then get pissy when everyone else behind you on the walkway bumps into you as they try to get around you.
— Pay attention to the people ahead of you. Learn from them. When everyone in front of you has to show their ID and boarding pass to the TSA goon, maybe get your ID and boarding pass out?
— On escalators move to one side. Don’t block anyone in a hurry by standing next to your giant bag on the escalator.
— If you insist on bringing a giant piece of carryon luggage, be able to lift it up over your head all on your own. If you can’t stow your own luggage in the overhead, you need to downsize it.
— On landing the person in the aisle should stand up in the aisle, get the overhead open and pull their own luggage out. The middle seat person should raise the arm rests in the row and move over. The middle seat person should move to seat closest to the aisle. If they are traveling with the person in the aisle seat, they should also be handed their carryon. The window seat person should move closer to the aisle and be prepared to leap up when it is their turn to deplane.
Do you think you are in Japan dude?
Uffda Sensei!
Koreans are even better than the Japanese when it comes to getting on/off planes. They are much more aggressive and willing to push more.
Both are much worse though about just stopping somewhere and staring about. The upside is they don’t get upset when they get bumped by everyone around them. But the random stopping somewhere happens all over, not just the airport.
The weirdest airport thing here in Japan & Korea? The fact that they don’t seem to understand the basic economic principles of airports. When I go to the airport here in Japan they have several stores inside the security checkpoint that sell beer for the same price you’d pay outside the airport!. Do they not understand you are a captive buyer and they should rape you so hard you can’t walk normal for weeks? They also just sell you a can of beer and let you walk anywhere you want with it.
Mrs F is always looking for a strong American young man to get her bag from the overhead. You need to be nice to a grandma, especially one a little shorter than you.
Just as in stores I’m the top shelf guy.
STEVE SMITH BAR – FOR POPE JIMBO AND OTHERS…GET BEER FOR…WELL…
I think I’m having salmon tomorrow.
Just be careful not to use canned salmon in your mousse…. or you’ll be The Late Late P Brooks.
Musical link:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nsZBEng7aJM&ab_channel=TVibez
Vince Guaraldi Trio was legit.
Best Christmas album ever.
Wrong , The Ramsey Lewis Trio “Sounds of Christmas” is the only acceptable background X-mas music. Also, there are only three X-mas ‘Songs’ that are acceptable – The Kinks, Mojo Nixon, and REK.
Your are both so so wrong
Though moj less so, as one might expect.
Never forget to play these guys on a loop at least twice per week.
Wrong
Arguing about Christmas music on a Thanksgiving post is the most Glibs thing ever.
KK- I’m actually impressed, you not only linked to an album of shitty X-mas songs you managed to find an album with the second or third string iterations of those shitty X-mas songs.
Arguing about Christmas music on a Thanksgiving post is the most Glibs thing ever.
BUT DAAADD!!!!! THEY STARTED IT!
Comment *Fuck Mojo Nixon
And you left out The Waitresses.
Florida Man tries to enjoy a nice round of golf.
He avoids the gators, snakes, spiders, skunk apes, and sandhill cranes… but sometimes there’s no evading Florida Man.
In Ye Olden Days, he would have been killed while attempting to escape.
I don’t think the attack was unprovoked. That golfer must have done something to tee off the attacker.
I bet it was a crappy drive home.
They need to iron out their differences, then they’d have a ball.
I’m guessing it was some wedge issue.
You’d think they would be able to iron out their differences.
Instead, we get “Golfer Niblicked to Death.”
GMTA, nimble fingers, etc etc
my 15th club is always in the bag
don’t bring a niblick to a gunfight
Turkey pot, turkey pot, turkey pot pie!
https://us02web.zoom.us/j/87821224358?pwd=eW55MTRDbDNtQkh2aHd3M1Nmenlzdz09
I’ll stop by later and be very indignant if you’re not there and drunk as shit.
0.o
Cthulhu turkey meets John Carpenters the Thing. Was STEVE SMITH involved?
Or is this a dark foray into fusion cuisine.
An homage to Tolkiens Watcher in the Water?
Will this trouble my already troubled mind for the rest of the day?
Probably.
Shocking
Marc Morial, CEO of the National Urban League, a civil rights group that has worked with Walmart on diversity and inclusion efforts in the past, called the company’s pullback from DEI “stunning” and “unexpected.”
“This is inconsistent with the Walmart I know,” said Morial, who argued that DEI policies are how organizations ensure compliance with federal anti-discrimination laws like the Civil Rights Act of 1964 and any suggestion of favoritism or preferential treatment “is really defamatory against what DEI represents.”
Wut? I guess all that talk about striving for proactively induced equal outcomes never happened.
lol DEI is all about reverse racism.
Fuck off, grifters.
Check your white, male privilege.
So my TV is broken and tomorrow is cooking & hoofball day.
Amazon can probably get you one in the am.
LOL not in Franklin, NC. Can’t even get 2-day on most things.
But I’m thinking about a projector. I have the perfect place for a pull-down screen. I could mount the projector on the ceiling, but I don’t think that’s the best bet if I ever go in motion. But I could get a mini projector and put it on a tall tripod.
That’s a great idea!
You gonna be able to watch the games on your computer?
Yeah I could watch on the computer or tablet. I’ll probably just have the tablet with the football on the table next to my laptop so I can maybe play The Sims or something and still watch the games.
Interesting.
China is asshoe, basically. Rings true to me.
The things we do for our kids
Dad definitely understood the assignment.
Somehow I don’t find that funny
Is there a glibzoom tonight? I remember the days if you’re when Wednesday was a glib night.
Daze of your
OFFS
Somebody didn’t read the comments.
Funny how neither the donors or MSM got wind of this.
Harris never led Trump, internal polls showed — but DNC officials were kept in the dark
Heard a lengthy bit on that on FOX this morning. Anyone that did not explicitly know that suspected it.
Just now back. I missed the interesting convo last thread regarding language, accent and colloquialisms. I would add this: Before widespread television local languages were markedly different than they are now. There has been a very noticeable blending of local language and a slowing of the overall change in language.
I toss that in because I just took my ambien and I wont last much longer.
There are some that think the Kansas City accent is the preferred TV news commentator dialect. At least that’s what I learned in Charm School some years back.
When I went to the University of Southern California – Provo Campus (BYU), I was told I have a southern accent.
Country/rural/white trash, maybe. Southern? No.
The clearest spoken English I have heard is spoken by Some Pacific Islanders and East Asians. Not sure where that comes from. HM should drop in once in a while to answer these deep questions for us.
I heard the Midwest Accent is preferred for broadcasts cuz it’s the ‘closest to the dictionary’ pronunciation, the most boring, flat and clear of American accents. (I think there’s truth to it.) Evansville was used to test a lot of products, I’ve heard cuz our demographics match the nation’s. I remember we got to ‘try out’ McDonalds pizza in the mid 90s and other similar novelties. Let’s just say: The pizza didn’t make it.
Folk at work said I had a bit of twang in my voice. Dad’s from rural Abingdon, Virginia but I only notice his drawl with some words. If ya piss on your evening head cushion, for whatever reason… Dad might say you should “Warsh the yell-uh pill-uh” to clean it. Those three stand out, but the others I’ve become too acquainted with.
Midwest
Midwesterners are the easiest to understand.
David Letterman, Jane Pauly, and Kurt Vonnegut seem perfect examples of the Indiana standard. Walter Cronkite was from Missouri. Performers have unusual projection and brightness, but you get the idea. Peter Jennings sounds more standard American to me; he was from Toronto.
Peter (Cohon) Coyote is so unique: NYC, simultaneously Sephardic and Ashkenazi….and yet he sounds so everyman. Some tall western New Yorkers can sound rather warm and reasonable.
But easiest to understand isn’t everything. Dating in my 40s, turned out my Southern lilt rendered some janqui girls rather malleable; who knew…hillbilly might be some undocumented kink (come to think of it: Andie MacDowell). I found David Brinkley’s gentle Virginia drawl and posture quite handsome. Dan Rather is too breathy; that version of Texan he and Waylon Jennings share is too breathy, too pulsy.
Here is a good exercise. This morning I heard someone invoking the social contract. About what doesnt matter. I have heard ad infinitum regarding various commands to OBEY.
There is no social contract or if there is let me have a look at it, particularly the part where I signed it.
What if there is a social contract? That is what our constitution is in effect but it is a contract between the states and the federal government. It takes into account individuals but only by implication save the Declaration which ultimately is not law.
Suppose there were a contract between the individual and any given government body? How would it read? Specifically what would you want in it?
That I only pay for goods and services that I use or wish to contribute to others.
that we shall either go mad from the revelation or flee from the deadly menu into the peace and safety of a Detroit Lions game.
Detroit Lions game? I don’t know about that.
Though that take on a Turducken in the picture is interesting.
Asian mariners, right?
Chinese Ship’s Crew Suspected of Deliberately Dragging Anchor for 100 Miles to Cut Baltic Cables
The Rime of the Asian Mariner ?
Sure why not. China are frenz.
The thing is full of Russian cargo. I can see the slipping a slug of cash to the captain without the Chinese state being directly involved.
Or most certainly they could be as well. Either works.
Some other Asian Mariners.
Suspected. They suspect the Chinese might have engaged in shenanigans. Hey, we blew up the Nordstrom pipeline. Who paid a price for that? Why would the Chinese think they could not get away with this?
Suspected. Wisdom begins with calling things by their proper names. Seeing as how people despise both truth and responsibility it is no surprise this lot are too cowardly to do so.
Two acceptable Christmas songs.
One
Two
You missed this one.