Die Hard

by | Dec 26, 2024 | Film, Fun, GlibFlick | 88 comments

Silly people. The question isn’t “Is Die Hard is a Christmas movie?” It’s “Is Die Hard a Hannukah movie?” And the answer is ….

Die Hard

Of course it is! I just proved it, by posting Die Hard on Hannukah. I wish you a Happy Hannukah, and I hope you had a Merry Christmas yesterday. I am still travelling and will be in a self-imposed Exodus for a few months until the new stately R.J. Manor is completed. I expect I will make some Chronicles of everything that happened in my travels later.

So watch! Or don’t! Everything is voluntary. As usual, there are no limits on Thursdays so I expect… no, I demand that somebody first with an off-topic subject, such as how awesome your holidays have been so far!

So what comes after this? It will be a new year when I post again, and there is a whole new set of films out there to explore. The movie I had planned was yanked off TUBI (Runaway Train), so I will spend some time digging through the backlog and arrange a nice January.

What if I hate Die Hard?

This is fine, I understand. You came here for a Hannukah movie. Here is an alternate film. Caveat Emptor!

About The Author

R.J.

R.J.

Hello. My name is R.J. I am a Tulpa with extra cheese and sour cream.

88 Comments

  1. Common Tater

    “I demand that somebody first with an off-topic subject”

    That’s not very libertarian 😉

    • R.J.

      True. Sorry I’m late. I had to get all the TVs down and boxed. Movers are here Saturday.

      • Brochettaward

        What am I, the god damn First fairy? Well, yea, I am, but that’s not the point here.

  2. Common Tater

    “Here is an alternate film.”

    Never heard of it, but it has a nude lesbian sex scene.

    • R.J.

      Neither have I really. I looked up “Hanukkah” and up it popped.

      • R.J.

        Well, there is “The Mad Adventures of Rabbi Jacob.”
        It’s Hanukkah adjacent.

        https://link.tubi.tv/hxgg7hmOEPb

        Speaking of, my phone has auto-corrected Hanukkah two different ways now. Very annoying.

      • Chipping Pioneer

        I Googled “nude lesbian scene” and up it popped.

      • rhywun

        Hey-o!

      • Mythical Libertarian Woman

        There are some good Hallmark Hanukkah films if you’re a faggot or a girl like me. My favorite is Round and Round which came out last year. Pretty low on the cheese for a Hallmark movie. More on the level of a standard Hollywood romcom than a typical Hallmark movie.

    • Chafed

      Please tell me P.J. Soles is in that scene.

  3. UnCivilServant

    I recently ripped my copy of the trilogy off DVD, and the process even fixed the stutter that some minor disk damage caused in normal playback. So, I watched them as quality control (how else did I know the stutter went away during ripping?)

    • Common Tater

      Pretty sure there are five of them.

      • UnCivilServant

        Not as far as I can tell.

      • Common Tater

        Well, I’m too lazy to look it up.

      • R C Dean

        There are five:

        Die Hard – July 15, 1988
        Die Hard 2 – July 4, 1990
        Die Hard with a Vengeance – May 19, 1995
        Live Free or Die Hard – June 27, 2007
        A Good Day to Die Hard – February 14, 2013

      • UnCivilServant

        The spinoffs don’t count.

      • rhywun

        Two different cable channels today were showing marathons of films that purport to be from the Star Wars franchise but I know better.

      • Chafed

        I’m sorry RC but there are only three Die Hard movies.

      • LCDR_Fish

        4 is actually pretty good.

        I don’t think 5 counts either.

  4. Common Tater

    I just realized Judah Maccabee and John McLane all have the same initials.

    Although, I’m guessing a McLane married to a Gennaro is probably Catholic.

    Also, her first name was Holly. So it’s a Christmas movie.

    • The Bearded Hobbit

      Also, her first name was Holly. So it’s a Christmas movie.

      Q. E. D.

      • R.J.

        I posted this, and then all the sudden the team at Power Line posted a meme stating the same thing. Die Hard is a Hanukah movie.” I raged to Neph, and then regained my Stoic.

      • Gender Traitor

        So we have spies lurking here from Power Line AND The Bee??

      • R.J.

        Maybe? I suppose it could be a coincidence. Their meme had better reasoning.

    • Chafed

      This year it’s both.

  5. DEG

    I’ll queue this up for later viewing. Thanks RJ!

    • R.J.

      You have six days left to watch it on Tubi, or so it says.

  6. Spudalicious

    I started watching this last night, and it now comes across as pretty dated. Oddly enough, I ended up watching Uncle Buck and Major League.

    • R.J.

      I thoughtfully provided an alternative, possibly sacrilegious movie.

    • UnCivilServant

      The datedness is part of the fun.

      It was a sad day for movie plots when they discontinued Bearer Bonds. Fun fact, there used to be such a thing as Bearer Stocks, where simply having the certificate was regarded as ownership.

    • Common Tater

      Dated doesn’t bother me. Last two nights I watched The Bishop’s Wife and It’s A Wonderful Life.

      • UnCivilServant

        “This whole threatening suicide scene is problematic”

        “But the movie is about talking him out of committing suicide and how his life mattered.”

        “It’s problematic.”

  7. Aloysious

    The bad guys that support Alan Rickmans character never get any love. And they should. As an eclectic group of evil, heartless mercenaries, they make the movie better.

    Go bad guys! Maybe you’ll win this time.

    • UnCivilServant

      You will note that the movie violates the “Black Dude dies first” rule – none of the black dudes in the movie die.

      • Common Tater

        I’ve seen countless horror films. Never noticed that rule.

      • Aloysious

        But the evil Aryan guy goes out in style, the evil Asian and his evil mustache last a little while and the evil FBI guys, agent Johnson and agent Johnson (not related) , get blown to smithereenies.

        This excuses the flagrant disregard for tradition.

      • UnCivilServant

        Oh wait, one of the FBI dudes was black, so I was wrong. 3/4 of them survive.

  8. Aloysious

    Will the stately new hot RJ Manor have a landing pad for your space ship? A dungeon for the voluptuous wenches you abduct? A guest yurt for any visiting cryptids? A grain field for ZARDOZ?

    • R.J.

      It will have a formal guest room for traveling Glibs and Cryptids, and an office that will double as a second spare bedroom. Also the game room will be much larger to accommodate a decent round game table , bar, video arcade and pinball. I discovered I have needs.

      • Aloysious

        Hmmmm…

        ZARDOZ can touch down on the roof, but I don’t know if I would want a STEVE SMITH in the guest room. I’m told he shads.

      • Aloysious

        Sheds, damnit.

      • Chafed

        To where would a wandering Glib need to travel to see the new mansion?

  9. Mojeaux

    Off topic: We have decided to stay in Evanston, Wyoming for the night because the weather is shit and we don’t want to do Echo Canyon in this weather in the dark.

    • R.J.

      Echo Canyon
      Echo Canyon
      Echo Canyon…

    • Gender Traitor

      You’re wise beyond your ears.

      • Mojeaux

        Yeah but it’s not going to be much better early in the morning after it freezes. It just won’t be dark.

    • Evan from Evansville

      *glare intensifies. Adds Evanston, WY to The List.* Evanston, IL’s Herbie Hancock stands tall, sadly.

      Also silly: I never realized I have two first names. Well, if you make Evan my surname ya add an s. Take one away from my real last name and it’s a common first name. (Goofily spelled.) Does that ‘count?’ Sure, it does, cupcake.

  10. DrOtto

    Sorry, I watched this Tuesday evening and watched Die Hard II, Die Harder last night. May favorite part of the movie is the Asian heavy taking over his station, and then looking both ways as he steals a candy bar. Ever the consummate professional.

    • UnCivilServant

      Thanks to the new laws in Californioa, he got the death penalty for shoplifting.

      • R.J.

        And there was much rejoicing.

    • R.J.

      I thoughtfully provided a different film with this in mind. Common Tater verified it has a lesbian sex scene in addition to many Hanukkah – based horror-comedy situations.

    • Mojeaux

      I know it’s not original canon, but my favorite thing is John lighting up the runway.

      • UnCivilServant

        Still can’t figure out how he managed to defeat a T-1000 though.

      • DrOtto

        It was an early prototype.

    • Gender Traitor

      (There is not, in fact, any erotic or adult imagery. Sorry.)

    • Common Tater

      I thought I was supposed to leave 9mm ammo and cigarettes.

      *re-opens duct work*

    • Brochettaward

      It was created in 2018 out of a 2017 executive order that seemed to make sense.

      Trump really is a putz. He’s a natural at bullshitting people, but that includes himself most of all.

      • Chafed

        So much this. He got rolled by the bureaucracy every which way.

  11. Evan from Evansville

    Yipeekiyay, motherfucker! This brought a necessary smile after finally finishing all my shit for the day. Got my pipe out, pizza fresh out the oven and damn. Watched it not long ago with ‘rents and am pleased to say Dad, the ever Asperger’s writer/critic, loved it. I particularly enjoy that he, hater of crybabies and seeing them everywhere (often with cause..), winced and quickly covered his eyes during the bathroom +glass scene. Hilariously childish, and brilliant to see. I do use that example in playful jest at times, but not for needing- knee- replacement pain.

    Legit, I find this rather fun: The youngest son is a primary source, educating his father on replacement surgery. I’m…kinda listened to. He won’t listen to the “Rest” advice from docs, not like I can talk. I have been known to escape from hospitals from time to time. (Only..caught(?) once.)

    Perfect Film. And damn, isn’t it a fun one.

  12. Chafed

    Thanks for hooking us up R.J.

  13. pistoffnick (370HSSV)

    Goals for this weekend:
    Smoke 25 lbs. of pork butt.
    Shred 25 lbs. of smoked pork butt.
    Pick up a 6′ x 9′ U-Haul trialer.
    Pick up a refill of my meds.
    Get groceries for the week.
    Feed my girlfriens’s family 25 lbs. of shredded pork butt.
    Pick up my step-dad’s 3-point snow blower (the first thing he has ever given me!)
    Unload the snow blower.
    Return the trailer.
    Be ready for work on Mondee.

  14. CPRM

    I’ve already seen Die Hard a bunch, so instead I watched Godzilla Minus One. According to IMDB

    Budget
    $15,000,000 (estimated)

    And it won an Oscar for its VFX. And the story was good, characters had arcs, set-ups had pay-offs, like movies used to have. Crazy.

    • UnCivilServant

      Back to the office for me.

      Just watered the bell pepper pot since the soil was looking dry. (Internet tells me to keep that one moist)

      By the end of next week, I should see the start of a sprout if I’m doing things right. (5-10 days from planting)

      • Sean

        🌱 👍

    • Gender Traitor

      Good morning, Sean, U, and Ted’S.!

      • UnCivilServant

        Morning. How goes?

        I just made it to my cube and logged in. Quiet here. (Fridays always are, but holiday fridays can end up with me being the only person here)

      • Gender Traitor

        Well, thanks! Had a nice visit with my college buddy over lunch, then ran a couple of errands and had leftover Christmas chili for dinner. It’ll be kinda weird to work the whole day today, so I hope our office is quiet, too. Did you bring your office plants back?

      • UnCivilServant

        I did not.

        New Years Day is also a wednesday, which would make watering them at work difficult. They’re hanging out with the pepper pot so I can keep my grow lights in one area.

  15. Fourscore

    GooooooooooooooooooDddddddd Moooooooooooooooooooorrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnniiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnngggggg!

    GT, Ted S’, UCS, Sean and any and all lurkers,

    Yesterday I went with a classmate to visit another classmate that had just been released from the local care center. We brought him some goodies.

    Now imagine 3 old guys, that can’t hear, trying to reminisce about the old days. There was no booze or women involved.

    • UnCivilServant

      I could have fixed the lack of booze problem. I have a lot of Rum, Krupnik, and some Vodka, some less than ideal whiskey, oh, and that anise-flavored mexican booze that isn’t tequila, some tequila… I have a lot of booze for someone who rarely drinks. (probably why it’s still in the house)

      • Fourscore

        I see some beer and wine in the cupboard, aging. Mrs F uses the stuff for cooking, rarely.

    • Gender Traitor

      Good morning, 4(20)! I’m glad you got a chance to visit with your friends! Hope there was at least some coffee involved.

      • Fourscore

        No coffee, my friend is pretty much chair bound, after falling down. His wife died a few months ago, the other friend’s wife had a stroke few weeks ago and is in constant care. In days not long ago it would have been coffee, cookies, etc. We need friends more than coffee, these days.

  16. Fourscore

    I have about 20 apple tree seedlings sprouting. Just popping through, about an inch high. By May they should be about a foot tall and ready to give away. Honey Crisp. They take a long time to germinate, up to a month or even more. I just need something to do, something green to look at, to believe that Spring will someday come.

    …and then give them away… Doesn’t make much sense, does it?

    • Gender Traitor

      Whatever gets you through a Minnesota winter (and, of course, doesn’t scare the horses.)

      • Fourscore

        Winter, so far, hasn’t been serious. Last year was an easy one as well, this year is starting out much the same. Gotta love the Climate Changers.

  17. Tres Cool

    suh’ fam
    yo whats goody

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