STEVE SMITH SUBSTITUTE LINKS

by | Dec 30, 2024 | Daily Links, STEVE SMITH | 125 comments

NOT BEST ART, BUT STEVE SMITH HAPPY THEM TRY.

STEVE SMITH FILL IN FOR CHEESE PERSON. HIM JUST NOT RIGHT. SEE STEVE SMITH COME TO OFFICE, AND HIM RUN AWAY SCREAMING. STEVE SMITH GO LAPTOP, DO LINKS.

WHERE HIM FIND SWISS STORY?

  • THAT NICE, YOU TALK NOW. WHYCOME NOT BEFORE?
  • THIS SAD. STEVE SMITH TELL COUSIN SEA TELL SHARK NO DO THIS!
  • WHICH ONE YOU THIS?
  • SINCE ALL LINK TABLOID. HERE SWISSISH ONE.

MUSIC. IT RERUN, BUT FUN.

About The Author

STEVE SMITH

STEVE SMITH

STEVE SMITH PROMINENT FOREST LAWYER. AND RAPESQUATCH OF IMPORTANCE. ONE TIME GRAND MUFTI OF CASCADIA. FREE CASCADIA!

125 Comments

  1. Not Adahn

    I hope that shark’s ok. It’s not healthy to eat EU officials.

    • Not Adahn

      Gianluca Di Gioia, 48, from Rome, had been snorkeling at a beach located in front of the glamorous Red Sea Sataya Resort on the coast of Marsa Alam, before the attack.

      The tourist, who worked at the European External Action Service, the diplomatic service of the European Union, was in the sea alongside his friend Giuseppe Fappani, 69, as they celebrated Di Gioia’s recent birthday.

      “friend”

      • Tundra

        Fappani.

        Sometimes this simulation is just sublime.

      • creech

        Don’t most men have a pal who is 20 years older to go on exotic vacations with? (Asking for a friend,)

      • ZWAK, doktor of BRAIN SCIENCE!

        Really, I was just pushing that shark over the fence!

      • Tonio

        [golf clap] for this entire subthread.

      • rhywun

        Poor guy looks like he spent more time at luxury beach resorts than sedentating behind a desk.

      • Suthenboy

        Why: I dont remember the guy’s name but he was the rapey EU official back during Obama’s reign that was accused by the hotel cleaning lady in NYC. Once in the spotlight it was apparent that all the guy did was jet all over the world staying in the most expensive hotels and restaurants diddling every woman he wanted on a whim. He was paid some 8 figure salary to just be him.
        Isn’t that what EU official means?

      • Don escaped Memphis

        Strauss-Kahn ?

    • Suthenboy

      EU officials. Isn’t that just another term for the aristocracy those sheep have spent centuries trying to get rid of? Looking at his photo the chances of him not being the son of nephew of descended from Muckity-Muck III is zero.

  2. PutridMeat

    THAT NICE, YOU TALK NOW. WHYCOME NOT BEFORE?

    To any columnist/”reporter” writing navel gazing shit like this – Unless it open with either “We behaved like propagandists for the state because we desperately wanted our team to stay in power, sorry/not sorry” or “I literally believed Joe Biden was mentally competent, clearly I am too stupid to really wipe my own ass, let alone write meaningful, informative stories, I’ll show myself to the door”

    Re: Content request – done. My first tango in new wordpress; it didn’t even provide any butter to ease the process, so I’ll apologize if it’s messy.

    • Tonio

      Thanks, Putrid. I’ll have a squint at it tomorrow.

    • Compelled Speechless

      If they really wanted to be honest, they’d point out that his mental decline was also the most underreported story of 2019, 2020, 2021, 2022 and 2023. If the party had asked it of them, they’d have kept on gawking at the emperor’s clothes right on through this election just like the good apparatchiks they are. Absolutely no one is buying the “gee whiz, how could we have known before July 2024?!?!?” bullshit. I can only speak for myself, but these quarter-hearted mea culpas only make me despise them more.

      • Fourscore

        Joe is planning on a ’28 run, be the first to win non consecutive presidencies from another guy who was the the second one to win non-consecutive terms.

      • Don escaped Memphis

        ’28

        surely it’s Herself’s turn then

      • rhywun

        surely it’s Herself’s turn then

        Jill? *shudder*

      • Suthenboy

        They should run Jimmy Carter in 2028.

      • juris imprudent

        A fusion candidacy – Jillary!

      • hayeksplosives

        It’s Mrs Turn-the-Page Walz’s turn.

  3. The Artist Formerly Known as Lackadaisical

    “The winning slip was bought at a grocery store in Kansas City, Missouri, ahead of a draw that took place on Christmas Eve”

    Paging Mr. Mojeaux.

    • creech

      You really think a guy who just won $1 mil would get stranded in Evanston, WY?

    • Tundra

      Did I see that there was a billion dollar winner in CA?

      That would be hilarious to follow that person for a year or two.

      • UnCivilServant

        Well, California will have stolen most of the winnings, so they got pocket change.

    • R C Dean

      “Lotto officials have revealed the ticket expires on June 22, 2025.”

      The drawing was less than a week ago. Calm your tits.

      • Muzzled Woodchipper

        Yeah, anyone winning that kind of cheese should probably line up a lawyer and an accountant before making a very expensive mistake.

    • Mojeaux

      Even if that were him, I wouldn’t tell you. Geez Louise.

      Rule #1: Keep your mouth shut.

      1. Get a safe deposit box to put your winning lottery ticket in.
      2. Get a lawyer.
      3. Get a financial planner.
      4. Get an accountant.
      5. Cash in the ticket when the above 3 people tell you to.

      Rules #2 – ∞: See rule #1.

      • Don escaped Memphis

        Dunning Kruger tailspin

        attorney: how do I know the right questions to ask myself to see if I am competent to represent you in this area?
        insurer: how do I know how to price the malpractice rider for this case?
        governor: how do I get my cut when you try to cash out from a PO box in the Caymans?
        realtor: how do I sell this house before everyone in the neighborhood comes over to break a leg in the driveway?
        me: what would I pay for Reason.com in order to fire everyone there except KMW ?

      • R C Dean

        It’s only a million. The cash value on that is, what, $600K. Pay taxes, and you’re down to $400K. Nice money, but I don’t know that you need to spend a big chunk of it on a team of professionals.

        Now, the big winning ticket, you bet.

      • Mojeaux

        😵‍💫

    • R.J.

      Let me fix that:

      “Mr. Carter witnessed a shift from what had been a solidly white Democratic, KKK supporting South to one that Republicans, supported by voters of all colors, but particularly evangelicals, came to dominate.”

      To this day, the democrats have not changed, they continue to be obsessed with race. It blows my mind how people miss that.

      • Sensei

        The whole article essentially implies the south is full of racism.

      • R.J.

        I hate that, so much.

    • Don escaped Memphis

      not that it’s a part of The South, but ever notice that

      Florida went for DDE, RMN, and Reagan twice….each

      Wallace took 12% of Ohio

      • Nephilium

        The three C cities, Akron/Canton, Toledo, Youngstown, Athens, and other little outposts all still go heavy towards the Democrats. They’re just outvoted by the rest of the state.

      • Fourscore

        Just the opposite of MN, where the metro areas control the narrative. Government of the majority

      • Don escaped Memphis

        metro areas control the narrative. Government of the majority

        that’s most states as far as I can tell: AUS vs TX, ATL vs GA, STL vs MO

    • kinnath

      The parties switched!

      • R.J.

        *Lurch groan…

  4. The Bearded Hobbit

    I just found out that my oldest friend died a couple of weeks ago. We met in 5th grade when I moved into the area. He and I spent most of our free time together, riding dirt bikes, listening to records (Happy Trails by Quicksilver was a favorite), going on double dates. In later years we corresponded by email, sharing jokes, videos, and life events. I wondered why he hadn’t replied to my last email.

    With birthday number 71 coming up tomorrow I am feeling extra old.

    My heart aches today. Good bye, my friend!

    • Sensei

      Sorry Hobbit. Part of getting old and it’s not a pleasant part.

      • Spudalicious

        True dat.

      • Tonio

        Wait, there are pleasant parts?

      • Tundra

        Sure. Muscle soreness, bad eyes, slower speeds.

        It’s fucking great!

      • Jarflax

        Not being dead. That’s the plus side.

      • R.J.

        Fluffy armchairs and ibuprofen are pleasant.

        I promise to let you guys know when I pass on.

      • Tundra

        I’ll admit, there is part of me that gets a kick out of being the oldest dude on the rink. And I sure wouldn’t go back. But it is defintiely weird, since my brain doesn’t accept that Im fogey-adjacent.

      • Bobarian LMD

        I promise to let you guys know when I pass on.

        Yeah, I plan on haunting some MFrs, too!

      • Pope Jimbo

        Tundra:

        I know how you feel. Once I turned 19, I stopped getting older. It was the last important age I needed to be (legal drinking age in Minnesoda at the time). I still think that I’m 19 and am amazed when the Altar Kids or Mrs. Holiness start laughing when I forget how old I really am. My trademark saying is “I’M A SPRING CHICKEN!!!”

        I remember being dumbstruck when I was on a campus tour with one of the Altar Boys and I was looking around thinking about where all the cool keggers would be when I suddenly realized I was one of the old lame parents walking around on a campus tour! Even if I got a pity invite to the rager than night, I’d be some creepy old dude there.

      • rhywun

        looking around thinking about where all the cool keggers would be

        LOL too true

      • R C Dean

        “Even if I got a pity invite to the rager than night, I’d be some creepy old dude there.”

        + 1 daddy issues

    • Nephilium

      Sorry to hear that man. I got blindsided one time going to my old stomping grounds and recognizing a name on a memorial bench was that of an old grade school classmate of mine (drunk driving accident got him).

    • Tundra

      I’m sorry for your loss, Hobbit. I lost my oldest friend a couple weeks before I moved out here. We met in 1st grade and stayed friends for the next 50. It just sucks.

      • Fourscore

        It doesn’t get any better, Hobbit, though as more friends/classmates leave us there are far fewer funerals to go to. I’m waiting for 2 friends to make the journey now, as we speak.

        HH was a Class Reunion as well as a Glibs Meet up. 7 attendees from the “Class of ’55”, more Glibs though so that helps.

    • Beau Knott

      My condolences. Losing old friends is always hard. I lost my best and oldest friend less than 2 months after hitting 72 (16 months ago).

    • KK, Plump & Unfiltered

      So sorry Hobbit

      • KK, Plump & Unfiltered

        (calling my bff from 5th grade tonight!)

    • Don escaped Memphis

      when I happen upon someone in my phone or email who is gone, I think about all the reasons they mattered and just keep them in there

      • Tundra

        Same. It works well.

    • Spudalicious

      Damn, Hobbit. I’m sorry to hear that.

    • Tonio

      Sorry, Hobbit. Just keep plugging along. Congrats on making it this far.

    • R.J.

      My condolences. Sometimes is seems like getting older is all about finding out other people have passed on.

    • ZWAK, doktor of BRAIN SCIENCE!

      Sorry Hobbit. Seems I hear this more and more as I get further into my fifties.

    • KSuellington

      Sorry Hobbit. That fucking blows. Especially sucks when you don’t find out right away. Our time here is borrowed.

    • The Bearded Hobbit

      Thank you all for your thoughts.

    • robodruid

      I am sorry for your pain. Its very real.

    • one true athena

      sorry to hear that.

      I found out just before Christmas that my oldest friend, maid of honor, and my son’s godmother – from when we were both still in your area actually – is diagnosed with lymphoma. So prayers and thoughts up for her, please.

      • The Bearded Hobbit

        Will do.

      • Tundra

        You bet. Her first name?

    • SarumanTheGreat

      Condolences on the loss of your friend. It’s especially bad when you don’t realize it until after the fact. Guilt sets in. Best to remember all the good times you had together, cherishing the memories.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        Metoo

      • Pope Jimbo

        UCS:

        The wife was an add on to your order of sandwich making gloves.

    • rhywun

      But in 2023, the number of murders fell at the steepest rate ever recorded, according to the F.B.I.’s data.

      1. The FBI lies.
      2. Big cities are not reporting their data to the FBI.
      3. Big cities lie, too.

      But keep telling people their eyes are lying to them, The New York Times. See how well that keeps working.

      • Don escaped Memphis

        steepest rate

        I’m not without my suspicions, but I also think about excursions damping to the mean: could be a reverse sort of dead-cat bounch

      • creech

        Maybe the supply of people willing to murder has dropped off because said people have been murdered?

    • Suthenboy

      Crime is falling. The economy is fan-fuckin-tastic. The border is secure. Joe is sharp as a tack. A green utopia is right around the corner.
      All of this stuff…how could I not see it?

      *In the frame behind the NYT is a woman on a subway in flames*

    • Don escaped Memphis

      Killer of the Power Boon

  5. Spudalicious

    Hey wait a minute, something isn’t right here…

      • Jarflax

        @#$%ing Rapesquatch

        seems redundant

      • KSuellington

        And if he gets you the authorities will say you died of “exposure” so they don’t have to tell the real truth behind it all.

      • R C Dean

        THE EXPOSURE OF A STEVE SMITH IS NOT LIKE THE EXPOSURE OF A SQUARE.

      • Bobarian LMD

        Too be fair, having your insides pulled out thru your backside will expose a lot.

  6. Don escaped Memphis

    Not being dead

    running out of runway: I am now as close to the night I first got laid as the night I first got laid was to Guadalcanal

    • R C Dean

      Yeah, I do the same math sometimes. Like, I am now as far from my birthday as my birthday was from nineteen fucking hundred.

    • creech

      Hard to comprehend that a couple of us here were born under the regime of F.D.R.

      • Don escaped Memphis

        born under the regime of F.D.R.

        haven’t seen Mikey in a good while

  7. Don escaped Memphis

    when was the last Commodius siting?

    • Don escaped Memphis

      sighting ?

    • R.J.

      She just needs longer hair. Then people will vote for her.

    • creech

      There’s, what, about six GOP senate seats that could have been obtained (Georgia, PA, Az, Nv, etc.) over the last four years if Trump hadn’t endorsed such polarizing, weak candidates.

      • R C Dean

        Honestly don’t know who his alternatives were. In AZ, at least, the GOP is rotten with McCainite backstabbers.

      • Don escaped Memphis

        McCainite

        the McCains are Scots-Irish trash from MS

  8. The Late P Brooks

    Not being dead. That’s the plus side.

    Overrated.

    • R C Dean

      It’s a solid beer. Not special, but nothing to pour down the sink, either.

      • Tres Cool

        Looks @ Milwaukee’s Best Light…..

      • Don escaped Memphis

        Milwaukee’s Best Light

        I spend entirely too much on rotten barley

  9. Suthenboy

    I think I submitted an article ? It is in the style I described in the last thread. If you want it to be fantastic then add your brilliant insights.

    • Ted S.

      And note how the article is portrayed as, “Some people say more needs to be done.”

      • Don escaped Memphis

        I botched the link: meant it to say biden-moves-to-bar-oil-gas-and-geothermal-development-in-a-nevada-mountain-range-for-21-days

      • R.J.

        What is the point of that? Just more bullshit, deliberate tripping up of industry. For 21 days, at that. What a colossal waste of money and time.

  10. Suthenboy

    Re Don: How about this? My grandfather used to walk across the hills with his brother to visit with an old man who would tell them stories. They were fascinated both by his stories and his Irish accent. The old man had worked for Thomas Jefferson when he was a young man himself. Get that? Between myself and TJ there are two people – my grandfather and that old man. When we get older our perception of time certainly changes and that perception is sometimes shocking.

    • Don escaped Memphis

      Mom’s great grandmother told her father’s stories from the Civil War, so I always felt close to the past [1]

      but not the Jeffersonian past

      1: The past is not dead. It’s not even past – Faulkner

    • rhywun

      That’s impressive.

      I usually mentally frame it in terms of something terribly relevant to me like music or television….

      Say, point B lies exactly midway between some point A few decades ago and point C, today. An example of music or TV from point A invariably seems impossibly dated to me but the examples from points B and C don’t seem all that different.

      • Don escaped Memphis

        we got a 1975 Bonneville: every car strikes me as newer or older than that

        we moved around when I was little; I know we still lived in MS when I first heard Heart of Gold, so I know it is older than 1974

    • Don escaped Memphis

      if only it weren’t for the Zionists, Bedouins wouldn’t be forced to live in tents

  11. Suthenboy

    Just heard on the teevee: “Even people that hate Trump are acknowledging that they know life will be better under his leadership but they still hate him…”
    Ugh. That is the insanity of TDS that escapes me. They are like fanatics that deny their own child life saving medical treatment because of their religious beliefs.

    • Suthenboy

      I have personal experience with this. Recently a flaming pinko relative told me this very thing. When I responded more or less the way I commented here they replied “Poverty is not such a bad thing”.

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