ZARDOZ LINKS OF SUBSTITUTING

by | Dec 26, 2024 | I Am Lame | 90 comments

ZARDOZ HOPES YOU ALL GOT THE GIFT OF THE GUN.

ZARDOZ SPEAKS TO YOU, HIS CHOSEN ONES. THE CHOSEN ONE KNOWN AS “TONIO” IS TRAVELING THE LAND, THUS ZARDOZ WILL STEP IN. ZARDOZ HOPES ALL HIS CHOSEN ONES HAVE HAD A RELAXING HOLIDAY TIME…FOR THERE IS MUCH TO DO. THE BRUTALS THAT PLAGUE THE EARTH MUST BE SNARKED AT HARDER. THIS, CHOSEN ONES, WILL BE YOUR TASK THIS COMING YEAR. THAT, AND IMPOSING GRAINSLAVERY ON THE ENEMIES OF THE VORTEX.

BUT YOU KNEW ZARDOZ WOULD SAY THAT…

ZARDOZ IS PLEASED WITH THE CHOSEN ONES. THEREFORE, RECEIVE THE GIFT OF THE4 LINK. GO FORTH AND COMMENT!

  • ZARDOZ SUSPECTS THAT FRIEND SEA SMITH MIGHT HAVE HAD A FIN IN THIS ONE. BUT THE BRUTALS OF FINLAND THINK OTHERWISE.
  • THE ETERNALS ONCE THOUGHT OF PUTTING THE VORTEX IN LUXEMBOURG. BUT, TAX BREAKS ASIDE, IT WAS NOT BIG ENOUGH.
  • A BIT OF AIRPLANE CLEANSING.
  • EARLY DEATH YOU SAY? ZARDOZ IS LISTENING…

ZARDOZ HAS SPOKEN.

About The Author

ZARDOZ

ZARDOZ

SERVANT OF THE TABERNACLE, THE ETERNALS OF THE VORTEX. FOR FURTHER INFORMATION, SEE: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EwZhKGgmoUI

90 Comments

  1. kinnath

    I guess I am dead meet in 6 years or so. No point in saving for the future. Spend it all now.

    • SDF-7

      With fiduciary tricks like that — you should run for Congress!

      • kinnath

        I will spend the public treasury on the people that vote for me. Fuck everyone else!

      • SDF-7

        Now you’re bucking for the Donkey candidacy in ’28… that’s the Joe Biden way!

    • bacon-magic

      #METOO

      • rhywun

        #dittoes

    • pistoffnick (370HSSV)

      dead meet

      Tied 21-21

    • R C Dean

      Can’t do it like they did it – I don’t have the mobility in my hips to cross my legs and stand like that. I did manage to get up, though.

    • kinnath

      I would have failed this test when I was 18. I’ve always had the flexibility of the Michelin Man. (see Endomorph)

    • Spudalicious

      What your body has been through apparently doesn’t apply.

      • kinnath

        The test isn’t wholly reliable however, as it doesn’t take into account the impact of musculoskeletal injuries like back pain, which may limit your flexibility.

        It isn’t reliable, but we are going to write about it anyway. Need to fill some space and gather some clicks.

  2. Shpip

    The grand duke of Luxembourg renounced the throne in a surprise abdication on Christmas Eve, according to multiple reports.

    So he still gets all the hookers and blow he wants, without the responsibility of leadership. Helluva deal.

    On the other hand, there are still scads of octogenarian D.C. swamp critters that he could push down the stairs before he leaves.

    • Gadfly

      Kings abdicating in favor of their adult children always made sense to me. A much smoother succession than holding on until you die. The co-king mode of transition also appeals to me, but I recognize that only works with certain personalities.

    • Drake

      I would like to thank him for pushing Nancy Pelosi down the stairs.

  3. Yusef drives a Kia

    I shall live forever!
    Disc golf keeps me young and fit,
    Cheers!

    • bacon-magic

      You mean weed.

      • Nephilium

        He already said disc golf…

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        Well, weed helps in a way, like alcohol

  4. Shpip

    Azerbaijan Airlines initially said the plane flew through a flock of birds before withdrawing the statement.

    Russia’s aviation agency also mentioned birds as a possible cause.

    The former BEA expert said it was unlikely since the impact of birds “does not prevent the plane from flying”.

    Captain Sullenberger perks up, glances over inquisitively.

    • SDF-7

      The “100s of miles off course” part of this is what I find interesting… did no one ask them what they were doing? Otherwise we’ll just have to wait for the recorder.

      The cynical part of me thinks that if an airliner is massively off course and heading into my country post-9/11… it may just not be an accident when air defense systems shoot it down, unfortunate as that can be for the passengers. But that’s just wild speculation — ignore it in honor of the 48 hour rule or whatever is appropriate.

      • Plinker762

        If you see the flight tracker data, it is pretty obvious it was headed for Grozny before entering the GPS blackout zone by Russia and the aircrew was asking for a vector into Grozny.

      • DEG

        The cynical part of me thinks that if an airliner is massively off course and heading into my country post-9/11… it may just not be an accident when air defense systems shoot it down, unfortunate as that can be for the passengers. But that’s just wild speculation — ignore it in honor of the 48 hour rule or whatever is appropriate.</em.

        Something like that happened pre-9/11.

      • DEG

        Oops. Tag fail.

  5. Shpip

    Baltic Sea nations are on high alert for potential acts of sabotage following a string of outages of power cables, telecom links and gas pipelines since 2022, although subsea equipment is also subject to technical malfunction and accidents.

    I’m guessing it was Bothnian rebels.

    • SDF-7

      Many Bothnians died to bring us this information.

      • slumbrew

        Deep Sevens

    • creech

      Danged Amish, no doubt.

    • JaimeRoberto (carnitas/spicy salsa)

      Time to bomb Tharajevo again.

  6. The Other Kevin

    “According to the exercise professionals at Norweigan fitness emporium, Trim Trening Trivsel, your ability to go from sitting to standing with your arms crossed can decipher if you have what they call an ‘old person’ body.”

    Well I’m as good as dead. Nice knowing you all.

    • KK, Plump & Unfiltered

      😆

  7. KK, Plump & Unfiltered

    I can’t wait to get home! Serenity now!

    • SDF-7

      No power in the ‘verse can stop you now, KK.

  8. Plinker762

    The airliner crash really shows how poor the mainstream media is at reporting incidents. There was more than enough information on youtube to follow what happened with flight tracker data and videos from inside the aircraft before the crash, the crash itself and the damage on the fuselage after the crash.

  9. Shpip

    Discrimination is good if you pay me to tell you how to do it

    Recently, a federal judge rejected a plea deal for Boeing aimed at resolving the company’s safety issues that have led to deadly disasters and other incidents involving its aircraft. In his decision, the judge took a surprising turn — one that is having repercussions here in Florida and across the country. He used his decision to issue a clarion call against DEI (diversity, equity and inclusion) requirements in hiring.

    Put simply, O’Connor is right to reject DEI practices that call for consideration of race and other demographics in hiring for such a position. Diversity does not, and should not, result from these kinds of politics. When done right, it comes about as the natural result of changes that improve corporate cultures for everyone. Most importantly, the changes that lead to greater diversity also help to improve safety.

    The author asserted, without evidence.

    The whole thing is fifteen paragraphs of authentic consulting gibberish that is basically saying “Hire my firm, please.”

    • rhywun

      Or… just ditch the racism and go back to what worked until the country went stupid. No need for this grifter.

  10. Aloysious

    HAIL SANTOZ

  11. Shpip

    A more cynical me would call this a naked cash grab

    New York state will fine fossil fuel companies a total of $75 billion over the next 25 years to pay for damage caused to the climate under a bill Governor Kathy Hochul signed into law on Thursday.

    The law is intended to shift some of the recovery and adaptation costs of climate change from individual taxpayers to oil, gas and coal companies that the law says are liable. The money raised will be spent on mitigating the impacts of climate change, including adapting roads, transit, water and sewage systems, buildings and other infrastructure.

    • Sensei

      In NYS this is just a day ending in “y”.

    • Gustave Lytton

      How is this not a bill of attainder?

      • SDF-7

        Like their “anti-gun” laws… NYS figures “Fuck it… it will take years for the Courts to get around to it and then we’ll move one semicolon and call it a new law and start over”?

        (Or TL;DR – NYS doesn’t give two craps about the Constitution.)

      • Gustave Lytton

        “Its a fine of attainder, not a bill!”

      • Gender Traitor

        It’s a penaltainder!

    • R.J.

      I guess all the fossil fuel companies will have to pull out of the state…
      Hope that electric car thing works out for them.

    • R C Dean

      I would be interested to see the bill of particulars on that $75BB worth of “damage caused to the climate”.

      • SDF-7

        “$2 billion a year is what our grifting NGO buddies asked for — so we threw in an extra billion in case we have to look busy and to wet our own beaks!”

    • rhywun

      shift some of the recovery and adaptation costs of climate change from individual taxpayers to oil, gas and coal companies that the law says are liable

      The Democrats really are this fucking stupid. SMDH.

      • R C Dean

        Of course, NYS and NYC are imposing massive “adaptation costs” on building owners by law. Requiring them to replace their gas heating, boilers, etc. with heat pumps is the one I know of.

      • rhywun

        At least only the fatcat landlords have to pay for it.

    • SDF-7

      Oh this seems like a timely link in response….

  12. The Late P Brooks

    New York state will fine fossil fuel companies a total of $75 billion over the next 25 years to pay for damage caused to the climate under a bill Governor Kathy Hochul signed into law on Thursday.

    Just don’t call it a tax.

    • EvilSheldon

      Or a trial.

  13. The Late P Brooks

    According to the NY Post, NFL fans were “infuriated” by Beyonce. She made a finger gun gesture in the half time show, which is banned by the NFL.

    WTFs all around.

    • SDF-7

      So they were triggered?

      • R.J.

        All eleven fans were infuriated.

    • rhywun

      NFL fans are bunch of pantywaists, this is known.

      • Nephilium

        Without reading the article, I would guess it’s more about calling out the NFL on hypocrisy for allowing the gesture in the choreographed dance while calling a 15 yard personal and fining players for doing the same thing (or things that may be similar, such as pointing with two fingers).

      • rhywun

        Makes some sense.

        The futility of fining honorable behavior into players does amuse me. Stay the course, NFL. 🙄

  14. Sensei

    Mistakes may have been made. Or birds. But I’ve been assured they aren’t real.

    “Baku’s expectation is not only an apology but also an explanation as to why the pilots’ request to land was denied and why their GPS was jammed over the Caspian Sea—both of which could have saved the plane and its passengers,” said Zaur Shiriyev, a Baku-based nonresident scholar at the Carnegie Russia Eurasia Center, who focuses on the region.

    Probe Points to Russian Air Defenses Causing Azerbaijan Airlines Crash

  15. Chipping Pioneer

    Related to Trump’s Gretzky troll from this morning. Wife and I went to visit her aunt for Christmas this morning. She had the CBC on TV, and they have predictably lost their shit about it.

    I guarantee Trump does this just to get a hysterical reaction at least half the time.

    • R C Dean

      It’s either chaff, to draw flak away from the real target, and/or a trial balloon – you never know what kind of crazy shit somebody might sign up for.

      The lulz are just a bonus.

  16. Drake

    The show over at X right now is Vivek and Elon stomping their dicks over immigration. They think we need to import more tech slaves.

    • R C Dean

      Speaking of chaff – this is a nice piece of narrative wire-crossing. “See, Trumpalos aren’t anti-immigration! We want more of them foreigners locked into below-market indentured servitude!”

    • Drake

      It’s funny that they are surprised. Like they didn’t just ride populist wave into power. Now those same people are not onboard with being legally replaced by clannish foreigners?

    • rhywun

      To be fair, that has long been the default position of the Republican/Chamber of Commerce set.

      • Drake

        And the Dems after they jettisoned the working class for the donor and managerial classes.

  17. Homple

    According to that test, I have been dead for 15 years.

  18. DEG

    ZARDOZ HOPES YOU ALL GOT THE GIFT OF THE GUN.

    I didn’t. I got the Gift of the Sick.

    • UnCivilServant

      So instead of Father Christmas you were visited by Grandfather Nurgle?

    • R C Dean

      I, in fact, did. Mrs. Dean gave me a HK VP9.

      Now to get a holster, optic, and get a trigger job set up. Mrs. Dean’s trigger after Lazy Wolf worked on it is by far, not even close, the best trigger I have ever pulled on a handgun. No creep, breaks like the proverbial glass rod (we went with 4 lbs), short reset.

  19. kinnath

    Wife and visiting granddaughter were discussing Nightmare Before Christmas at supper. Wife asks kinnath if we have the movie on DVD. kinnath says no.

    Granddaughters says “I can cast it on to the TV”. She picks up her phone and heads to the living room.

    They are now watching the movie.

    So old, so out of touch.

    • UnCivilServant

      “I said, No.”

      *unplugs TV power*

    • rhywun

      I will never understand the motivation to watch any sort of video on a phone screen. It feels like a shitty workaround before some form of VR or brain implant takes over.

      • UnCivilServant

        There’s no upside to the form factor other than mobility. Every other element has been sacrificed to the needs of being movable.

      • kinnath

        They are watching it on the 70 inch 4k TV. Content streaming through the phone.

      • rhywun

        Was assuming they have a file on their phone. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

        Otherwise would just be easier to stream on the TV if it has that functionality.

      • R C Dean

        Content providers can block that capability, although the only one that I know of that does that is the NFL. Retardedly, games that are being broadcast you can watch on a phone or tablet, but not cast to your TV, even if it’s not broadcast in your market. Because NFL. And retarded.

      • Sensei

        rhywun, if I’m over at your place with my xyz subscription and app on my phone I can throw it on your TV.

        You don’t need the app or sub installed on your tv.