IFLA: The “Fatass” Edition of the Horoscope for the Week of January 19

by | Jan 19, 2025 | IFLA | 75 comments

The particular fatass in question is Jupiter retrograde who manages to get his oversized butt involved in pretty much everything this week.

The week starts off good for Sean and those who enjoy Sean-like activities. Then on Monday Jupiter retrograde butts in to unpleasantly complicate marital relations, and it could also indicate a peace deal not ending completely but having some government-related issues. While that alignment with Venus doesn’t last long, with both Venus and Jupiter retrograde having new dance partners by Tuesday, they’re both involved concurrently. Venus hooks up with Mercury which can mean a wild and exciting love life, a dangerously erratic love life, or news about peace. I wouldn’t bet money on that last one because while not exactly linked, Jupiter retrograde and the moon indicate instability in general, with governments more specifically, and with navies even more specifically. I guess if you’re dating a government official or a sailor you should really be in high alert.

Capricorn: Justice reversed – Law misused, legal complications, bigotry, bias, excessive severity.

Aquarius: King of Wands reversed – Good, but severe; austere, yet tolerant.

Pisces: The Hierophant – Marriage, alliance, captivity, servitude, mercy and goodness; inspiration.

Aries: 10 of Swords reversed – Advantage, profit, success, favor, but none of these are permanent; also power and authority.

Taurus: The Sun – Material happiness, fortunate marriage, contentment.

Gemini: Ace of wands reversed* – Fall, decadence, ruin, perdition, to perish, clouded joy.

Cancer: Ace of cups reversed* – House of the false heart, mutation, instability, revolution.

Leo: 9 of cups – Concord, contentment, physical well-being, victory, success, advantage, satisfaction.

Virgo: The Hanged Man reversed – Selfishness, the crowd, body politic.

Libra: 3 of Cups reversed –  Expedition, dispatch, achievement, end. It signifies also the side of excess in physical enjoyment, and the pleasures of the senses.

Scorpio: 8 of coins – Work, employment, commission, craftsmanship, skill in craft and business.

Sagittarius: 2 of swords – Conformity, balance, courage, friendship.

*Freud did not invent the phallic/womb symbol idea. Having the Ace of Wands and the Ace of Cups drawn consecutively and both reversed indicates the dissolution of a marriage.

New OK GO vid dropped. I find this less impressive since it’s just a video editing exercise. I mean, I guess they all are but this one is transparently so.

About The Author

Not Adahn

Not Adahn

Despite all my rage, I am still just an impeccably dressed rat.

75 Comments

  1. Tundra

    *looks around for Lily*

    • Fourscore

      I want my Lily and I want her now!

  2. The Late P Brooks

    Sagittarius: 2 of swords – Conformity, balance, courage, friendship.

    Does not play well with others.

  3. Jarflax

    Scorpio: 8 of coins – Work, employment, commission, craftsmanship, skill in craft and business.

    But I just retired!

    • Gender Traitor

      Now you have time for a creative hobby that will take Etsy by storm! 😃

      • Jarflax

        Time yes, motivation and aptitude? Not so much.

      • Gender Traitor

        As a fellow Scorpio, I guess this makes it a good week to keep knitting that second sock. I don’t, however, foresee myself becoming adept (or quick) enough to sell them.

      • Jarflax

        You knit? Get to work on Pussy Hats! You’re missing your moment!

      • R.J.

        We are transitioning to penis hats now. Didn’t you get the memo?

      • R C Dean

        Wearing penis hats for a counterprotest of the pussyhatters would be awesome.

      • ZWAK, doktor of BRAIN SCIENCE!

        It’s Pussy Hats and Dick Ties.

        Lets get this straight folx.

    • UnCivilServant

      Now that you’ve got new tires, you’re ready to roll!

      That’s how that works, right?

      • Jarflax

        Interestingly that kind of matches my only real activities since retiring. I made a trip out west and two trips up to Rochester.

  4. DEG

    Sad. No dog videos.

    Concord, contentment, physical well-being, victory, success, advantage, satisfaction.

    Not sufficiently shitty.

  5. Mojeaux

    The House of Ill Dispute was not breached. They locked the door from the garage to the house and I don’t know if that’s normal and/or if Mom has a key.

      • Mojeaux

        I’m after some documents they won’t let me take.

        Otherwise, I can ask if I can fetch Mom’s things and they will let me.

      • UnCivilServant

        I see.

        Make sure to document the pettiness with time and date, in case it needs to be referenced later in the dispute.

    • Mojeaux

      Update: This is not their practice and Mom does not have a key. I will not underestimate ASCs again.

      • UnCivilServant

        I missed an event – I’m guessing they’ve locked you/people more aligned with you out of the house – to what endgame?

      • Mojeaux

        I assume just to be able to keep me/my operatives out when they aren’t there.

      • Gender Traitor

        If you suspect “elder financial abuse” and/or fraud on the part of one or both of the ASCs in relation to any of Mom’s bank/CU accounts, might her financial institution be of some assistance in investigating/otherwise assisting? (My CU’s compliance/fraud folks are on the lookout for that at all times, and all staff get annual training in how to spot potential abuse. Of course, it’s probably trickier if all the parties involved are elderly!)

      • Mojeaux

        I don’t suspect financial abuse anymore. We got the kinks in the mortgage worked out so the math works.

        Susie is just hateful and verbally abused my mom, which I didn’t know until yesterday (from an eye witness). Milly isn’t all innocent, either.

      • Gender Traitor

        At the risk of getting my libertarian card taken away, have you snooped around this site? Lotsa different types of assistance, potentially (including legal!)

      • Don escaped Memphis

        libertarian card

        the conservatives took mine; in my next life I’ll work harder on dialing in the correct level of statism

      • Mojeaux

        For now, we’ve decided to hold off on any reports of abuse. We have an appointment with an attorney on the 30th, so we will lay it all out and proceed as directed.

  6. Evan from Evansville

    Taurus: The Sun – Material happiness, fortunate marriage, contentment.

    I’ll read that as a financial marriage, bound by work. (*Real* marriage?! See me in 7yrs.) Biggest bet now is working at a vet + kennel, doing basic shit and hopefully training into a vet assistant. I did study animal behavior and I have worked with lions, tigers, and no bears BUT with plenty of cougars, sadly all of the feline order. So legit makes sense. The centers may actually want me for several different things and I’m gonna get in touch with ’em to see where I may fit.

    Contentment should come easily enough, as in a couple of days it’s just me and the old puppy for a couple of weeks. It will hit me again, when I have it, the space to think. Feels all cloistered and stuffy in here. Good medicine for my mental stalemate.

  7. Sean

    “ The week starts off good for Sean and those who enjoy Sean-like activities”

    Woohoo!

    • UnCivilServant

      So, a peppery week?

      Does this mean my bell peppers will finally sprout?

      • Fourscore

        How old are the seeds? Check the package. If they are a hand-me-down that may be the problem.

        Quietly, with a very small tool, probe a seed box, slowly and methodically, hoping to find a sprouted seed. If so, cover it back up and wait a little longer.

        If not a sign of life do it with a second pot, if it’s been a month and no activity start with fresh seeds.

      • UnCivilServant

        A: They’re brand new seeds.

        B: They broke the surface today.

  8. creech

    Eagles v. Rams at 3pm will be a snow bowl. Eagles fans are breast-beating about how Rams players practice in shorts and won’t be able to handle the freezing cold and snow. Unfortunately, snow tends to level the playing field and the underdog gets a break. Eagles running attack with Barkley is likely to slip/slide all afternoon. Don’t be at all surprised if Rams make this a nail-biter.

    • whiz

      I think snow helps the runner since he knows where he’s going and the defender doesn’t. Iowa State had a promising young back who went crazy last year against Kansas State in the snow (276 rushing yards), but has only topped 100 yards once since then in better weather.

    • rhywun

      Where is the snow?

      • creech

        Voici

      • rhywun

        Well, how about that.

    • Homple

      Old-time Vikings and Packers could tell you about snow–and cold.

  9. KK, Plump & Unfiltered

    Started my once-yearly chili cook. Got the bell peppers roasted off and cooling. I’m gonna leave the poblanos raw because I just can’t be arsed to roast them too. Also have jalapenos, serranos, and habaernos and dried poblanos (i.e. anchos). I usually have a wider range of chilis, but the selection in the grocery store was pathetic.

    • Tundra

      Sounds amazing. I started roasting my peppers on the grill. So much easier.

      Have fun!

    • Fourscore

      How’s the water pipes?

      • KK, Plump & Unfiltered

        SO far so good, but only down to 29 so far. I put a blanket over the outdoor spigot and taped it up (making sure my heated hose’s thermostat is sticking out), and it has a trash can over it also. 🤞

        Looks like Tuesday night might be even a bit colder.

  10. UnCivilServant

    I don’t understand myself.

    Last week, I discovered that the DVDs I had of a series were not all readable, which made watching them impossible. I ordered the BluRay of the complete series because it was $25. It arrived, and Disk 4 was also unreadable. Amazon didn’t have an “exchange for same item” option, just a return for refund, so I initiated that and ordered another BluRay set. I had a thought of “what if there’s a bad disk on the new one? I was contemplating trying to make a set of working disks and returning the bad ones. I currently have both BluRay sets with a return deadline of Feb something to return the bad one. So far there’s no errors on any of the new disks, but I still feel guilty about the frankenstein set plan, even though it didn’t get put in action.

    • LCDR_Fish

      That’s a good reminder to test a stack of show discs I ordered recently – once I get my household goods delivered. Better to fix it now (even if it means ordering more stuff myself) than to find out after it’s OOP…

      • UnCivilServant

        Better to find a defect during the return window when you’re also not out as much $ if something’s broke.

      • LCDR_Fish

        Yeah…my habit has always been to keep them sealed till I’m ready to actually watch…but given my long term plans for storage/collection…I should probably validate them sooner than later (even if no longer returnable).

    • R C Dean

      Nah, you paid for a full working set, so you’re just keeping what you paid for. If you have to swap disks between the two sets, you’re returning a set that doesn’t qualify. I see no ethical issues at all.

  11. CPRM

    Taurus: The Sun – Material happiness, fortunate marriage, contentment.

    The only one I’ve got a shot at is contentment, and that one is slim.

  12. UnCivilServant

    WOOT!

    I just gave the pot where my pepper seeds were planted a spritz to keep the soil moist, and I saw a pale line in the dirt about 1/8 inch long. Looking close, I saw that it was a curve of a stalk just breaking the surface.

    My Peppers are sprouting!

    • Sean

      Yay!

    • Fourscore

      And I just wasted 10 minutes of my life up page.

      When you’re hot, you’re hot, UCS. We can use you here on the farm.

      • UnCivilServant

        It was 25 days from planting to breaking surface (I planted them on Christmas day).

    • Fourscore

      I watched auto auctions from Kissamee, IL yesterday. Obviously I did not live my life right

  13. whiz

    I see a philanthropic opportunity in your future…

    I posted this late last night, here it is one more time:

    You might remember my wife’s nonprofit, Home Allies, was formed a few years ago to provide some low- or no-income housing for people who have trouble renting due to spousal abuse, loss of job, medical issues, or other reasons that make traditional landlords not want to rent to them. The original plan to build 8 apartments never got off the ground due to inflation and high interest rates, but Home Allies is now operating 5 apartments in a converted old house that it bought in May.

    We now have 5 tenants in a one-year program where we help them look for a job, enroll in assistance programs, and hopefully provide them with a good reference when they look for more permanent housing. We have already had one “graduate” who has moved on to a more permanent place. We have people referred to us from The Salvation Army, among other organizations, and there is always someone in need waiting when a spot in our building opens up.

    I’m sending this note because we are applying for a new grant from the local Housing Trust, and they prefer to give to organizations that have support from private citizens. Dollar amounts are important, but so is the number of people who donate. We’ve had some $1000+ donations recently, but not many people in the last year or so.

    Anyway, if you could send any amount, even $10, by Monday, it would be very helpful to show the Housing Trust that we still have private support. We just found out that they meet on Tuesday (January 21) to decide on the grant. We’ve been very busy fixing up the building and managing the tenants (some of whom are high maintenance) and have neglected fund raising recently, hence the urgency.

    We can accept Venmo (@homealliesames) or PayPal (@homeallies). As I said, any amount is helpful right away, but of course larger amounts would be greatly appreciated, too, going forward.

    I do thank the Glibs who donated before. And a special thanks to the one Glib who has had a recurring monthly donation for the last 2.5 years; you don’t need to do more since you have donated recently!

    Thank you,

    Whiz

    And thanks to those who contributed after I posted last night.

    • kinnath

      You are welcome

    • Evan from Evansville

      Bless you. Other than my own supportive family housing, I resemble some of the folk you’re helping. Means a lot for people to repeatedly show humans really are incredibly kind and helpful. I’m not able to help now, but would if I could.

    • LCDR_Fish

      Dumb question, but does your org send out receipts for end of year stuff at all – or on request?

      • whiz

        Yes, we do, we are a 501(c)3. We don’t automatically send for small donations, but will on request.

      • whiz

        I should have said “…, even for those.”

    • R C Dean

      You go, bro.

  14. Brochettaward

    That entire Supreme Court decision upholding the TikTok ban was a case of special pleading. Like yea sure it violates the First Amendment, but China!

  15. Suthenboy

    Mojeaux: I dont know about your state but here we have had the ‘secret document’ problems enough times that we made it so: documents must be witnessed/notorized and most importantly – recorded in the Clerk’s office. We dont really have secret documents. You might want to check on that.

    • R C Dean

      The lawyer should know that, but Louisiana is pretty unique legally in a lot of ways. It’s state-level legal DNA is Napoleonic Code, not English common law.

      • Suthenboy

        “Louisiana is pretty unique legally in a lot of ways”

        Some people have described it that way, yes.

        Hanging around in the Harris county courthouse hallway some dude came and sat on the bench next to me. We started casually talking and I figured out he was one of the Judges. From my accent he surmised correctly I am from Louisiana. He asked what I thought of Texas (He was a native Texan).
        We got around to ‘Is it better to have judges elected or appointed?’. Both states have elected judges.
        “I like it ok. Y’all are a little different but I dont feel ‘not at home’. I still prefer the way we do a lot of things over there.”
        His reply: *takes keys out of his pocket and jingles them* “C’mon, I will drive you to the border”
        We both got a laugh out of that. I think that story sums up the relationship between Texas and Louisiana nicely.

    • Mojeaux

      At this point, I’m not really worried about it. After we got the math to work on the mortgage (Mom misremembered how much the down payment was), we didn’t really need to find out if they were the mortgage docs.

      As for the partition, the courts will arrange to have the property appraised, sold, the remaining balance of the mortgage paid off, and the proceeds split. That will take months, and now we have nothing but time.

      The lawyers will take care of things if something else happens besides the partition, such as, say, undue influence, coercion, threat to make Mom sign the joint tenancy. I mean, is “bullied, badgered, and hounded to the point of exhaustion” a legal description?

      Mom herself is doing much better. She’s expressed interest in rehab now (as opposed to lying there waiting to die) so she can get around a little. She’s in a place where she’s not taking care of her abusers, where she’s loved and cared for. So tomorrow I’ll call the skilled nursing facility where we were GOING to send her before we decided she would move in with me and explain the situation: She just would rather die than go back to her sisters. Now she doesn’t have to.

      I wish she had told me this was going on, but I guess she was just so beaten down she did what most abuse victims do—keep quiet.

      She’s eating a little (DQ root beer freezes), watching TV (we mounted a huge-ass TV in her room and loaded her up with streaming services), reading books (which is her favorite activity in the world and she hadn’t done for weeks before we took her to the hospital), texting people (although her fingers aren’t working well yet). She may be interested in chicken noodle soup or broth soon, maybe grilled cheese and tomato soup. She can talk much better now and doesn’t seem so frail. She’s in a hospital bed, but she says she’s comfortable and I fixed her one complaint. She’s sleeping better. Her hacking cough is gone. Fabulous Fentanyl is doing its job and being fabulous.

      Now she wants to get stronger because now she has no reason to die.

      • whiz

        Mojeaux, you are one great daughter. And it’s good that you found a situation that made your mom enjoy life again.

      • Mojeaux

        Whiz, you’re doing good work yourself. 🙂

      • whiz

        Well, Mrs. Whiz is the driving force behind it. I just try to help out when I can.

  16. R C Dean

    A thought on the Hamas peace deal:

    The Israelis should have insisted that any of the released Hamasniks who subsequently engage in terrorism are subject to summary execution. As in, a bullet to the head on the spot.

    • Q Continuum

      AFAIC they should be doing that anyway. Geneva Convention doesn’t apply to terrorists.