IFLA: The “Rush Job” Edition of the Horoscope for the Week of January 12

by | Jan 12, 2025 | IFLA | 35 comments

Obvious choice is obvious.

A couple decades back I realized how many micro-breaks there are over the course of the day. Walk from the desk to the grinder: the mind can think about something. The mind might be focused on the task at hand when unloading the grinder and transferring the sample to a slide, but carrying that slide over to the XRD? The mind does its own thing again. Loading the XRD and programming the scan? Task focused. Press the button and watch the spectrum form? Break time. I tend to take advantage of those microbreaks to consider the signs and astrological significance of a week’s skies but since starting work on the Range Master program, those little bits of unallocated brain time are going to that which means I have to sit down and grind this out, but I haven’t made any extra time in my schedule for this. I will endeavor to maintain my high standard of augury that Glibertarians.com has come to be known for.

The week starts where it left off: bad juju with Mars retrograde. In his case You could plausibly make the case that the addition of Saturn and Venus mean that a loved one comes back form a war, but that doesn’t mean they come home alive. You could also take the Venus part more literally and say that a Queen dies violently (I think what’shername Assad should probably look out). Things have shifted around a bit by Tuesday to take Saturn out of alignment, but the Sun slots in so we’re looking a domestic situation. The ambiguity of Mars retrograde and the moon give you meanings ranging from “trouble at home ends” to “boat crashes into your living room.” Possibly the boat stops whatever that was causing the trouble?

Capricorn: King of Wands reversed – Good, but severe; austere, yet tolerant.

Aquarius: 7 of Wands reversed – Perplexity, embarrassments, anxiety.

Pisces: The Sun – Material happiness, fortunate marriage, contentment.

Aries: Ace of Cups reversed – House of the false heart, mutation, instability, revolution.

Taurus: 6 of Wands – Triumph, great news, hope.

Gemini: 5 of Coins – Material trouble, love and lovers, concordance, affinities. 

Cancer: 5 of Wands reversed –  Litigation, disputes, trickery, contradiction.

Leo: The Empress – Fruitfulness, action, initiative, length of days; the unknown, clandestine; also difficulty, doubt, ignorance. 

Virgo: King of Swords – Judgment, power, command, authority, militant intelligence, law.

Libra: 7 of Cups – Images of reflection, sentiment, imagination, some attainment but nothing permanent or substantial.

Scorpio: King of Cups – Fair man, man of business, law, or divinity.

Sagittarius: The World – Assured success, recompense, voyage, route, emigration, flight, change of place.

About The Author

Not Adahn

Not Adahn

Despite all my rage, I am still just an impeccably dressed rat.

35 Comments

  1. kinnath

    Pisces: The Sun – Material happiness, fortunate marriage, contentment.

    I’ll take the win and be happy

  2. DEG

    Fruitfulness, action, initiative, length of days; the unknown, clandestine; also difficulty, doubt, ignorance.

    Sounds mixed shitty, which is not sufficiently shitty.

    • juris imprudent

      You want the really bad forecast to set expectations such that you end up pleasantly surprised?

      • Evan from Evansville

        Yes.

      • DEG

        “Pleasantly surprised”? No. The bad predictions are true more often than not.

  3. Chipping Pioneer

    You’re gonna need a bigger boat.

  4. Sean

    “ Cancer: 5 of Wands reversed – Litigation, disputes, trickery, contradiction.”


    Hmmm, sounds like restraints, ball gag, and paddles. 😁

  5. SarumanTheGreat

    To The Late P Brooks, from the deadthread:

    “*I used to know a guy who was a fighter pilot stationed there bin the ’50s.”

    My Dad spent a year there around 1953/1954. They sent him up in the middle of winter in his undress blues. They started outfitting new personnel with winter gear after a plane crashed en route and everyone froze to death.

    • LCDR_Fish

      Pretty sure we still have at least a radar station in place there…not sure why nobody mentions it in the news stories.

      • dbleagle

        I need to get the calibration on my sarcasm-meter checked. I thought you were serious there for a couple of seconds.

  6. Evan from Evansville

    “Taurus: 6 of Wands – Triumph, great news, hope.”

    I highly approve of this supposed ‘rush job.’ I could use it this week, re-diving into the job hunt. By early Feb I likely will be at Kroger again, for a spell. Preferably as far away from a cash register as possible. Last year I was in the produce department, but it was also the week I broke my left femur. (Cracked, not all-the-way-through broken.) So my only day on the floor, I was relegated to cashier duty. I’m quite certain I could’ve gotten out of that, but I didn’t say anything. That wasn’t terribly wise, but perhaps bold? I wasn’t dumb enough to it again and it was my last shift. Moved into swanky, public after-school daycare for elem kids. Will not return.

    Onward, upward, y’all.

  7. The Late P Brooks

    Sagittarius: The World – Assured success, recompense, voyage, route, emigration, flight, change of place.

    Get my ass to Mars?

  8. The Late P Brooks

    My Dad spent a year there around 1953/1954. They sent him up in the middle of winter in his undress blues. They started outfitting new personnel with winter gear after a plane crashed en route and everyone froze to death.

    My friend said it was really fucking cold up there.

    • Fourscore

      In ’57 one brother was stationed at Thule, one bro at the Canal Zone, I was in Germany. Army guys

  9. Don escaped Memphis

    Hotspur take 101′ to score at Tamworth

    • DrOtto

      Shorter version – we’ve been busy scaring/scarring your kids, and now they’re fucked up. Go fix ’em.

      • Chipping Pioneer

        This. It ain’t climate change that’s harming their mental health. It’s the constant prophesies of doom.

    • Evan from Evansville

      “To reduce feelings of hopelessness, parents can encourage their kids to join activities and advocacy efforts sponsored by e̵n̵v̵i̵r̵o̵n̵m̵e̵n̵t̵a̵l̵,̵ ̵c̵i̵v̵i̵c̵ ̵a̵n̵d̵ ̵r̵e̵l̵i̵g̵i̵o̵u̵s̵ ̵o̵r̵g̵a̵n̵i̵z̵a̵t̵i̵o̵n̵s̵ the very people who incepted the fear and desperation in the first space, experts say.” FTFT.

      My biggest peeve of modernity, Internet 2.0: The complete lack of unsupervised peer activities. Let kids be kids for a ‘change,’ not always monitored by an adult or pushed through online portals, observed by other Higher Ups.

    • rhywun

      OFFS!

      A large proportion of American youth feel anxious and worried about the impact of an unstable climate in their lives today and in the future.

      Horseshit.

      • R C Dean

        I’ve read that one of the reasons people in their 20s and 30s aren’t have kids is generalized anxiety about the future. Climate change figures prominently on the list. I wouldn’t underestimate what a lifetime of propaganda can do to young minds.

        Of course, all responsible should be beaten with iron rods.

      • Evan from Evansville

        Jack McBrayer went to University of Evansville. *taps nose*

      • Don escaped Memphis

        I can’t find the story online, but I think I remember that Triumph’s voice is an amalgam of Smigel’s grandparents’ accents. He said that they had a certain sort of wonder in the new world they escaped to from tsarist Russia, looking up in bewilderment at all the western and goy edifices and traditions, so, when he voiced dogs, he gave them Jewish Russian accents.

      • Old Man With Candy

        That’s where my head went, too.

  10. Fourscore

    The 2-3 inches of snow predicted is closer to 7-8. Got my yard/driveway cleaned up, 2 and a half hours with the snow blower, 1/2 hour with the snow shovel. My neighbor would clean it up for me but I just hate to ask for favors. Kind of a matter of pride. Fortunately the snow was light and dry but somehow the wind always blows it back into my face, regardless of the direction I’m going or where the chute is aimed.

    This is the first real snow of the winter, I’m happy to see some moisture, we’ll need it in the spring.

    • R C Dean

      Be smart, 4X. You need to/ought to do some things, but 3 hours of fighting with snow sounds like pushing it.

      • kinnath

        It’s isn’t the work, it’s the cold. I have a large, self-propelled snowblower. It’s not that much effort to steer it around (although it ain’t nothing either).

        The bad days are when it’s below zero, the wind is hollowing, and the snow swirls all over the place with the wind coming around the house. A face full of snow when the wind shifts is no fun.

      • Fourscore

        Yeah, it’s gonna be cold tomorrow, below zero, I wanted to get it done today. Mostly sort of walking, with the handles on the snow blower it’s sort of like using a walker.

        Mine’s a 29″, the snow blower, I mean.

  11. hayeksplosives

    Aries horoscope is shitty but too vague to relate to anything going on in my life so I will just ignore it.

    Who am I kidding? I always ignore the horoscope.

    The Broncos started off strong but that lasted about 5 minutes. I think this game can be called.

    So far no NFL wildcard teams have advanced, and in NCAAF, no top seeded teams have advanced.

    Crazy.

    • Sean

      NA always predicts I’ll get laid. He’s never wrong.

    • Evan from Evansville

      “Police fired a gun at the dogs, but missed.”

      Small victory? These dogs seemed to need to get got, so the cops continue to suck at killing things that should be killed. Those “innocents” and bystanders, well. Eggs!

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