The Hat and The Hair 47 – Episode 9

by | Jan 29, 2025 | The Hat and The Hair 47 | 233 comments

“Father! Father!” Barron cried out in his sleep from his bed in the White House Residence. “I need my Father!”

“Tent Pole is in distress,” the Secret Service guard in the hallway said into his lapel. “I repeat, Tent Pole is in distress and asking for the President.”

Donald sauntered into his son’s bedroom a half-an-hour later, McDonald’s French fries in one hand, an exquisitely-mixed fountain Diet Coke in the other.

“Father!” Barron said. “I’ve had another of my dreams. I think you are in danger!”

“Makes sense. Half the country are losers,” Donald said. The hat chuckled from the pocket of his silk smoking jacket. 

Donald stuffed another handful of fries into his mouth. “These are only really good fresh and hot. Hmm… salty and hot.”

“I think they are going to try and kill you again,” Barron said. The giant boy was covered in a greasy sheen of flopsweat.

“Tell me of your dreams,” Melania said, gliding into the bedroom.

“I saw a ball of flame in the sky,” Barron said. “And an eagle made of solid gold.”

“Like a mushroom cloud?” Donald asked. “I love mushroom clouds. Nuclear weapons get the job done.”

“And Father was turned to salt and ash,” Barron continued. He was trembling.

“This is very troubling,” Melania said.

“I don’t want to die in a nuclear fireball,” the hair said.

“It’s not so bad,” the hat said. “I survived Nagasaki.”

“Oh, fuck off. No you didn’t.”

“I was a fisherman’s hat. The light, the heat, overpressure wave. I woke up as MacArthur’s hat and started making plans for China.”

“You must see the old gypsy woman,” Meliana said, wiping Barron’s face off with the edge of his bedsheet.

“I don’t believe in dreams,” Donald said. “No use for them. I think you should stop having them.”

Melania audibly narrowed her eyes at Donald, squeezing them down to tight slits.

“Uh-oh,” the hair said.

About The Author

SugarFree

SugarFree

Your Resident Narcissistic Misogynist Rape-Culture Apologist

233 Comments

  1. DEG

    “It’s not so bad,” the hat said. “I survived Nagasaki.”

    “Oh, fuck off. No you didn’t.”

    “I was a fisherman’s hat. The light, the heat, overpressure wave. I woke up as MacArthur’s hat and started making plans for China.”

    A Hat origin story. I like it. It explains a lot.

    This installment also seems… tame.

    • Tonio

      According to the canon The Hat is the instantiation (better word?) of all hats, the ur-hat, the hat spirit which has guided our kind since the first human put the first banana leaf over his head in a rainstorm.

      • Nephilium

        While Hunter’s garb evolved from the first banana hammock?

      • SugarFree

        I’ve actually thought about making a series bible.

      • UnCivilServant

        Photography or Printing?

      • Bobarian LMD

        Cannon… Loaded with raped grapefruit.

    • Suthenboy

      “…seems tame.”

      To be fair The Donald and Family just dont have that air of gutter depravity that the last two democratic first families reeked of. It is a reach even for SugarFree to exaggerate them.

  2. Necron 99

    Tent Pole. LMFAO

    • ron73440

      That one got me, solid opening.

  3. R.J.

    Melania gliding in is a nice touch. I can see that.

    • SDF-7

      I’m now only going to picture Melania’s “casual” outfits around the White House as from the Morticia Addams collection.

      • Not Adahn

        That was EXACTLY the mental image I had!

    • Tonio

      I’m envisioning the locomotion Cate Blanchett did in The Mirror of Galadriel scene.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        This…

    • ron73440

      I was picturing the traditional walk Japanese women did in kimonos.

      But Mortitia works also, the TV one anyway.

    • ZWAK, doktor of BRAIN SCIENCE!

      Reverend Mother Gaius Melania Trump.

      • Beau Knott

        👍 😁

      • juris imprudent

        More the Jessica vibe – serving the Donald as a wild Reverend Mother.

      • Jarflax

        For Barron is the Quisatz Haderach!

    • Bobarian LMD

      Pictured.

      More Vampira than the others.

  4. Suthenboy

    I like it.

    ““Tell me of your dreams,” Melania said, gliding into the bedroom.”

    If you tell me Morticia Addams was not your inspiration I wont believe you.

    • SDF-7

      Oh God damn it… that’s what I get for responding as I read comments.

  5. Gender Traitor

    Melania audibly narrowed her eyes

    Trying to imagine what that sounds like.

    • Tonio

      A low sort of stretchy squeak?

    • Ted S.

      Ask Swiss.

    • Suthenboy

      A hiss…with a bit of crackle.

      • R.J.

        Her eyes make the Good, Bad and the Ugly theme play when she narrows them.

      • SDF-7

        Better than the watch chimes from For a Few Dollars More I suppose.

    • Mojeaux

      Purple smells like Tuesday.

      • UnCivilServant

        I thought that aroma was antidisestablishmentarianism.

      • SDF-7
      • Nephilium

        Synesthesia is fun for the whole family!

      • UnCivilServant

        What is it called when the thought of a number or word applies a color to the mental representation, but there is no impact on the actual sensory reading?

        For instance, when I see anything in the 1700s, the thought picks up a rust red, 1800s blue, 1900s yellow, 2000s black, but the color I see looking at the screen is still the correct hue as displayed by the monitor (black on gray as I type this).

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        UCS, I have wondered that too. 🤜 🤛

      • Nephilium

        ZWAK:

        You joke, but I have to deal with “%food% tastes like %color%” on a regular basis. The girlfriend has no sense of smell, which gives her a very limited sense of taste. This leads to frustration for me when she doesn’t like something, because I get feedback such as “It tastes too red”.

      • Bobarian LMD

        Crayons taste like purple.

        I think that is the name of this.

      • R C Dean

        “What is it called when the thought of a number or word applies a color to the mental representation”

        I think its called “time to adjust your meds”.

    • juris imprudent

      The Star Trek door sound?

  6. Tundra

    Melania audibly narrowed her eyes at Donald, squeezing them down to tight slits.

    “Uh-oh,” the hair said.

    Bravo!

    Perfect close.

  7. Ted S.

    “You must see the old gypsy woman,” Meliana said

    She’s jusl like you and me, except for the homelessness.

    • Tonio

      Telegraphing the arrival of a new character, perhaps?

      • SDF-7

        Hunter threw on a shawl and crawled up from the Kennedy tunnels so he could stick around and serve the wishes of Dark Cracky.

        All his artwork went up in smoke anyway — might as well pick up a new gig.

      • Ted S.

        Who’s Meliana, anyway?

      • Bobarian LMD

        You should have a dermatologist look at that.

    • Jarflax

      Tulsi?

    • slumbrew

      Dammit, Ted! Now that’s stuck in my head.

      • Ted S.

        At least you’re never out of makeup.

  8. Drake

    “Makes sense. Half the country are losers,”

    I laughed inappropriately.

  9. The Late P Brooks

    “Uh-oh,” the hair said.

    She’ll turn him into a duster. And he won’t get better.

    • Drake

      Imagine what would happen if he met her mafia don hat.

      • Homple

        I was hoping for those hats to meet. Please make it happen.

  10. Aloysious

    Melania audibly narrowed her eyes at Donald, squeezing them down to tight slits.

    For whatever reason, this right here made the whole thing.

    • Aloysious

      It left a mark in my head bone.

    • Suthenboy

      Yikes. Too contrived. Dont get me on a rant about photography, especially portraiture.

    • R.J.

      I give up on X. They think I am a bot. X can kiss it.

      • ZWAK, doktor of BRAIN SCIENCE!

        Half the time it works for me, half the time I am X jail.

    • Gender Traitor

      She looks like someone with whom one should not mess.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        But up with put?

    • EvilSheldon

      God damn. I think I just cut myself on one of those shoulder pads…

  11. The Late P Brooks

    “I love mushroom clouds. Nuclear weapons get the job done.”

    Somebody alert the League of Concerned Scientists!

    • Bobarian LMD

      “WE ONLY HAVE 89 SECONDS!” They screamed, while diving out of the window.

  12. Not Adahn

    Most excellent prophetic dream. Very omenic.

  13. Not Adahn

    I’m getting hints of Dune and Terminator 2.

    • kinnath

      where do normal people find normal jobs . . . .

      saying it out loud.

      • UnCivilServant

        I would have phrased it “real jobs”

      • UnCivilServant

        Devil’s advocate though, having been in the state for seventeen years, I have no idea how to go about a job search in the private sector.

      • Nephilium

        Well, as someone else in a niche industry, it’s a bit more difficult to find a job that fits my skill set.

      • Bobarian LMD

        I would have phrased it “real jobs”

        But definitely not “real people”.

      • R C Dean

        I understand there will be lots of landscaping and crop-picking positions available soon.

      • Fourscore

        Always need roofers…

    • Tundra

      Makes my day. Die, parasite.

    • Suthenboy

      So…bag man for laundering us taxpayer dollars to tin pot dictators? That is what I am getting out of that.

      *laughing and pointing at him*

      Burn it all to the ground.

    • juris imprudent

      because the entire international aid industry is being destroyed

      Stop, stop! I can only get so erect!

      • R C Dean

        “Industry”

    • R.J.

      I have been in a position where I am starving and sleeping on a friend’s couch, or in an old van. I have had times where I had to apply to 50+ jobs just to get one interview. This person has never once dealt with that. My experience isn’t even uncommon. Join the plebes, government cheese man!

    • Grumbletarian

      Learn to code?

  14. cavalier973

    Lay’s recall of classic chips in 2 states classified at highest risk level, FDA warns it could cause ‘death’

    https://www.foxbusiness.com/economy/lays-recall-classic-chips-2-states-classified-highest-risk-level-fda-warns-could-cause-death

    That sounds serious. I wonder if I should throw out the chips we have not yet eaten.

    *reads article*

    Oh, for crying out loud.

    Frito-Lay has recalled its Lay’s Classic Potato Chips in Oregon and Washington state due to undeclared milk that may be in the product that could be fatal if consumed by someone with an allergy or severe sensitivity to milk.

    • UnCivilServant

      “Warning, contains FDA, which may result in bankruptsy.”

    • Ted S.

      I like how they put “death” in scare quotes.

      • Gustave Lytton

        If you’re lactose intolerant, you’ll wish you were dead.

    • rhywun

      Today’s paper has the exact same article only this time it’s chocolate.

      Just how many people does milk kill a year?

      • UnCivilServant

        I did try to find numbers on deaths due to allergic reaction, but those numbers are not available. There were sources that said “we don’t really know.” So I could only count deaths on the job producting milk and milk-based products.

      • juris imprudent

        we don’t really know becomes “uncounted”!!!

      • Jarflax

        Countless

      • UnCivilServant

        I have no evidence of any happening, but can’t prove they didn’t happen.

        The data collection apparatus doesn’t appear to be in place for those types of medical fatalities, possibly willfully, potentially negligently.

      • R C Dean

        Or, tracking those kinds of fatalities could be pointless and not worth the cycles to do it.

      • UnCivilServant

        Hogwash! Every iota of data is pricesless!!!!

        (Note to self, I need to expand the NAS array again…)

    • UnCivilServant

      You can’t expect ossified swamp creatures to adapt on a dime. That’s akin to work!

      • Bobarian LMD

        It cost a hell of a lot more than a dime to get them to adapt.

        You’ll never be a lobbyist, even though there sounds like there will be lots of openings.

    • SDF-7

      It would help a little if he didn’t sound like he’s about to keel over though.

      • Ted S.

        Are we boring you, Mr. Rodale?

        (And yes, I know that line is apocryphal.)

    • The Other Kevin

      The Dems are betting the farm on vehemently opposing everything Trump does, and hoping he fails enough so they could say “I told you so” in the future. That’s quite a gamble. In the meantime they look like screaming toddlers.

      Just like the last set of hearings, they’re providing sound bites and memes to their opposition.

      • The Other Kevin

        It’s funny how Warren tried to get him to promise not to sue the companies that are major donors to her campaign.

      • R.J.

        The ground troops that oppose his orders are being found and put on leave, and in a queue for eventual firing. It’s a really fantastic strategy.

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      Badass

    • JaimeRoberto (carnitas/spicy salsa)

      Warren did her “People will die!” schtick again.

      • Mythical Libertarian Woman

        🙏 Remy song sequel please 🙏

    • Ted S.

      At least Jumbo has the excuse of being in a time zone where he misses some of the posts. :-p

      • cavalier973

        My excuse is that I’m not paying attention

  15. The Late P Brooks

    Won’t somebody please thing of the poor parasitic grifters?

    My heart bleeds for him.

  16. Gustave Lytton

    the Secret Service guard in the hallway said into his label

    I’m picturing the Batman tv series where the bad guys had labels on their shirts.

    • SugarFree

      lapel. fucking autocorrect

      • Gustave Lytton

        Dammit! I like a bit of camp.

  17. Fourscore

    Great stuff, SF, you transitioned from blue to red and never skipped a beat. Truth in fact

    • SugarFree

      Thanks!

    • The Other Kevin

      And they Just. Keep. Doing. It.

    • EvilSheldon

      Every time I see a picture of Elizabeth Warren I just have an urge (so far a controllable one) to smack the fucking dentures out of her mouth. It’s a character flaw, I know…

      • Jarflax

        She has that smug smirk. Senator Delores Umbridge.

    • slumbrew

      One of my lefty dude friends hates her – “she’s everybody’s ex-wife”.

      • Fourscore

        When I recognize someone but can’t remember where from.

  18. The Late P Brooks

    Spontaneous combustion

    In early January, the stage was set for a wildfire disaster in Los Angeles. A long, hot summer had dried out the plants and vegetation, making it more flammable. Drought conditions dragged on, as winter rains had yet to arrive. Then came powerful Santa Ana winds, gusting above 80 miles per hour.

    The result was more than 16,000 homes and buildings were destroyed after the fast-moving Eaton and Palisades fires exploded. In those extreme conditions, firefighters had little hope of getting control of the blazes.

    New studies are finding the fingerprints of climate change in these wildfires, which made some of the extreme conditions worse. In particular, the hotter temperatures and a drier atmosphere can be linked to heat-trapping gases that largely come from burning fossil fuels, according to two different analyses from the University of California, Los Angeles, and World Weather Attribution, a collaboration of international scientists.

    Global warming is just like a mean little kid burning ants with a magnifying glass.

    The gods must be appeased.

    • UnCivilServant

      I say we sacrifice Dem politicians and Econuts to appease them.

    • JaimeRoberto (carnitas/spicy salsa)

      A long, hot summer. Aka, summer in California.

    • tarran

      and a drier atmosphere can be linked to heat-trapping gases that largely come from burning fossil fuels,

      This bullshit is a straight up lie. Increased CO2 acts slightly to cool the afternoon and warm night times. The notion that it’s dangerous is based on the prediction that this slight increase in warmth will result in increased evaporation and a higher moisture content in the air. The most consequential green house gas is water vapor, and that’s supposed to be the cause of the bad global warming.

      If the air were drier as a result of CO2 warming, then that means we actually would experience a net effect of cooling.

      The reality is that CO2 presence seems to have fuck all effect on moisture content of the air. There is a slight positive effect because CO2 is plant food, and more plant life leads to more transpiration of moisture, but it’s a tiny effect.

      Whoever wrote that piece should be ignored. They are either too stupid to process scientific information or too mendacious to care about being truthful.

      • Nephilium

        Wait… water vapor (considered a greenhouse gas) can cause a drier atmosphere?

      • juris imprudent

        It was harder to assail the priests when they spoke Latin.

    • SDF-7

      Climate change — poor line maintenance by Southern California Edison… tomayto, tomahto…

  19. The Late P Brooks

    The dryness of Los Angeles’ vegetation before the fires was due to both hotter temperatures and a lack of rain. An analysis by UCLA found that about a quarter of that moisture deficit was due to the extreme heat, which was influenced by climate change.

    You know what’s really weird about humans? They have the capability of creating localized artificial rain, except when they are expressly prohibited from doing so.

    • UnCivilServant

      Whycomeyouwantthefishtodie!?

    • Bobarian LMD

      Nothing about the previous wet season being a little wetter than the recent norm, adding to the amount of vegetation that nobody did anything about before it drying out and causing the current issue?

    • Jarflax

      How will he afford makeup?

      • UnCivilServant

        What? He isn’t getting his CCP pension?

      • Jarflax

        It’s payable in Falun Gong organs, not mascara.

    • Gustave Lytton

      Recall him to active duty and assign him to cleaning the Pentagon latrines. From 8pm to 5am.

    • Pine_Tree

      History nerd in me is like: “Security detail? Now I’m sure Winfield Scott and Jack Pershing didn’t get security details. Knock this ‘perfumed prince” crap off. For all of ’em.”

      • UnCivilServant

        Give them all retirement housing in an old barracks in the louisiana swamp where they get to be their own security detail.

        I don’t mean officer’s housing either, a hundred retired flag officers to a room. They can have three hots and a cot, we garnish their pensions to cover it, and they defend the site with broomsticks because live ammunition is for active duty personnel only.

      • Aloysious

        Mr. Servant, you just reminded me of the movie Southern Comfort.

        Don’t make the Cajuns angry. Now I want to see that movie again.

  20. The Late P Brooks

    “Most of Mexico is projected to dry and Seattle is projected to generally get wetter, and we are right between those two areas,” Williams says. “If our models are off by just a little bit, California could either get drier or wetter. And at the same time, the models do project that precipitation will become more extreme in the future, which would cause the wet years to get wetter and the dry years get drier.”

    You don’t say.

    I wouldn’t send that blathering idiot to the store for a loaf of bread and a gallon of milk. There’s no telling what he’d come back with.

    • Jarflax

      Today in obviously true, but utterly useless pronouncements: We made up models to predict the future, but if the made up models are not accurate the predictions might be entirely incorrect.

    • Sean

      Magic beans, of course.

    • Suthenboy

      sCIeNcE!!!

      These are the people that put Galileo in a cage.

    • R C Dean

      “California could either get drier or wetter”

      No arguing with that.

    • ron73440

      I know huskies are dumb, that looks like something mine would do.

      • R C Dean

        The dog on the right, tho . . . . .

  21. Sensei

    In response to the incident, the Saitama Prefectural Government has urged approximately 1.2 million residents across 12 municipalities to refrain from using sewage systems.

    It’s perfectly Japanese. A majority of the residents there will likely hold it and/or not flush for like the next 12 hours, despite the lunacy of such a request.

    https://www.japantimes.co.jp/news/2025/01/29/japan/crime-legal/sinkhole-saitama-truck/

    Nothing in the English news that they’ve extracted the driver yet.

  22. The Late P Brooks

    Today in obviously true, but utterly useless pronouncements: We made up models to predict the future, but if the made up models are not accurate the predictions might be entirely incorrect.

    The really baffling part is the models’ complete failure to control events in the real world.

  23. PieInTheSky

    Lucas Tomlinson
    @LucasFoxNews
    Scoop: Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth ‘immediately pulling’ retired Gen. Mark Milley’s personal security detail and security clearance; panel to consider demotion in retirement.

    A second portrait of Milley to be removed from the Pentagon, Trump administration officials say.

    Susan Glasser
    @sbg1
    The pulling down of portraits and forced erasing the past is a reminder—check your 20th century history about what kind of regimes do this stuff…

    eigenrobot
    @eigenrobot
    extraordinary

    https://x.com/sbg1/status/1884370802235355205

    • Gustave Lytton

      Huh, I checked my history also about what kind of senior military leaders conspire with foreign powers to undermine their own country.

      • UnCivilServant

        I believe the technical term is “traitors”

    • kinnath

      I can’t keep track of all assholes.

      Milley did something to deserve this correct?

    • Jarflax

      Now do Confederate Monuments

      • EvilSheldon

        I was thinking Benedict Arnold’s name at West Point, but your point is better…

    • juris imprudent

      check your 20th century

      How about I consult 21st century “history” – you know, recent events. Like Antifa and BLM.

    • Suthenboy

      Hypocrisy or lack of self awareness? Both?

    • Ed Wuncler

      These assholes want their Hitler so bad but as we saw during COVID, they would be the people that would call the police and say, “We heard some noise in the attic above the factory.”

      • R C Dean

        Somebody pointed out recently that all the everything-is-Hitler people got very quiet after the October 7 massacre of Jews.

        A few are still pushing the Jews-are-the-real-Nazis line, though.

  24. PieInTheSky

    It’s worth noting the UK public sector can pay decent wages, it just does so for its priorities. The head of cybersecurity at the Treasury gets £58,000, but “Strategic Director Housing” at Hackney Council gets £149,000.

    Putting people in subsidised homes (and in particular, immigrants – 56% of Hackney social housing has a non UK born reference person) is more central to the British state than keeping the Treasury functioning.

    https://x.com/SAshworthHayes/status/1884557554400862498

    that money for head of cyber would be low in Romania. In corporate world at top guy would probably get 500k for that sort of thing

    • R.J.

      You get what you pay for.

    • R C Dean

      If I’m a cyber criminal and I learn that the head of cybersecurity for the UK Treasury is paid less than 60K, I know what my next target is going to be. That a notch above help desk wages.

      • Nephilium

        That’s in GBP, not USD, but yeah. That’s woefully underpaid for a head. I’m in a much less critical role and I get paid more than that. At least locally, entry level helldesk roles look to be in the $25/hr range.

  25. The Late P Brooks

    If the air were drier as a result of CO2 warming, then that means we actually would experience a net effect of cooling.

    Thirty-plus years ago there were articles being written about how green lawns and swimming pools were raising the humidity in Phoenix, leading to increased nighttime temperatures.

    • Nephilium

      The new hotness is corn sweat.

      • kinnath

        Anyone that has lived through summer in corn land already knows this.

        All plants respirate water back into the atmosphere. We tested this in high school.

      • UnCivilServant

        Is that when you eat so much maize-based product you smell like a tortilla?

      • Suthenboy

        Clue: Everything the greenies bitch about are things that make humanity more secure, freer, happy and prosperous.
        I wonder what the means.

        Also, if it weren’t corn it would be some other kind of grass or plant life. so what do they suggest?

        *Warming does not follow rise in CO2. It precedes it because a warming ocean water cannot contain as much dissolved gas. Even the most basic premises of their unfalsifiable assertion is false. It is amazing really. Trump cutting off their research funding is the best thing that can possibly happen.

  26. PieInTheSky

    eigenrobot
    @eigenrobot
    you, a boring racist: i believe peoples intelligence varies by race

    me, a minnesotan: that sounds like something a person from california would say

    https://x.com/eigenrobot/status/1884450479779754033

  27. The Late P Brooks

    The new hotness is corn sweat.

    Three or four rows into my grandfather’s corn field was like a frikkin sauna.

  28. The Late P Brooks

    sauna steam room

    • Jarflax

      See also every terrarium.

    • Not Adahn

      Meh. Considering I already knew his “secret codes of runways” and “secret codes of the US interstate system” I imagine this will be common knowledge to any Brit over 35.

    • rhywun

      lol One of you lot has posted a video or two from this autist before.

      • Not Adahn

        Oh he’s got great ones.

        But not all of them are great unfortunately.

  29. ron73440

    Question for everyone:

    My wife was given a few thousand dollars worh of Yen in 10,000 bills.

    She didn’t cash it in in Okinawa because in her mind 10,000 Yen should equal $1,000 but that’s not how exchange rates work.

    Now what can I do with it?

    • PieInTheSky

      origami?

      • ron73440

        That was funny, not helpful but funny.

      • PieInTheSky

        I mean I cannot see what else to say. You can wither exchange it at a bank in the US or keep it till you go to japan again.

        Also google tells me 10000 yen is like 300 lei so less than 100 USD

    • Sensei

      Most banks in metro NYC will take it as a deposit if you are a customer. Your bank should too.

      No coins – she’s stuck with them! I used to give them to my Japanese teacher for when he went home.

    • kinnath

      Even in Iowa, the local bank will accept foreign currency for deposit. The exchange rate won’t be great, but it’s not terrible either.

      • ron73440

        I will check with my bank, problem is USAA doesn’t have local branches, I do everything online with them.

        The only option I could think of was the stand in the airport, but I don’t think they have the best rates.

      • kinnath

        In my past experience, airports stands gave the worst exchange rate.

        But, it’s better than nothing.

      • Bobarian LMD

        I think USAA has some standing agreements with some brick and mortar banking chains that would probably allow you to deposit.

        I’d call the USAA banking number and ask.

    • Fourscore

      Take it to ChinaTown, see if you could fool some of the Ladies of the Evening. Or pretend to be wealthy Japanese Industrialist and go downtown.

    • Sensei

      If it’s a couple hundred bucks you can take flier and do it by mail.

      https://usfirstexchange.com/

      They’ve got some process to assure and track what you are sending. Full disclosure this was top search engine choice, no actual experience.

    • Gustave Lytton

      was given a few thousand dollars worh of Yen in 10,000 bills

      *picturing scenes from yakuza movies where blocks of yen are pushed across the table*

    • R C Dean

      Of course, the real money is in the stock tips (if you’re in Congress) or in royalty payments (if you’re in the agencies).

  30. Certified Public Asshat

    We have any Lyme’s disease experts in here?

    https://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-14338923/rfk-jr-confirmation-hearing-hhs-nominee-health-claims.html

    A debunked conspiracy theory suggests that Lyme disease, which infects 475,000 Americans every year, was cooked up in a Long Island laboratory in the 1950s.

    Scientific studies show, however, that bacteria causing Lyme disease has been circulating in North American forests for at least 60,000 years, and that ticks that carry it have been around for at least 99million years.

    The oldest documented case of Lyme disease is the skeleton of the Tyrolean iceman mummy, from 5,300 years ago, found in the Italian alps.

    Other studies have shown that ancient Lyme disease bacteria has been found in 15-million-year-old fossils of ticks preserved in amber.

    Yeah Daily Mail, but that’s also kinda like Covid, isn’t it?

    • Tundra

      A lot like Covid. IIRC, the spread from a lab out East looks exactly how you would expect it to.

    • Fourscore

      Having had Lyme Disease X2 that qualifies me as an expert. A week’s worth of antibiotics resolved the problem though.

      Very common here, more locals have had Lyme than got the covid vaccine.

      • ron73440

        Somehow I never got it, growing up we would find ticks on us every summer.

        My sister-in-law got it a couple years ago.

      • Fourscore

        Yeah, it’s sort of new here too, the first time I got it, about 25 years ago, the docs were a little unsure, a blood test and wait a week. Second time I had the bullseye, doc looked at it, got a fast blood test and went home with some pills.

        I stay out of the woods from May-Sep but there are ticks in the grass, garden, etc. I usually end up the summer having had a couple ticks stuck but no Lyme for quite a while. It’s usually not serious if it’s diagnosed soon after the bite.

      • trshmnstr

        It’s usually not serious if it’s diagnosed soon after the bite.

        It’s sort of like covid where additional chronic symptoms pop up for some certain percentage of the population.

        I got Lyme and was mostly fine after. The acute symptoms were knocked down by a steroid. I remember not feeling like myself for a few months, but I also had a small child, so it’s unclear what was to blame.

        I know of some people who were never the same after Lyme.

    • creech

      Damn too many deer in close proximity to humans. In colonial times, the local deer ended up on the dinner table. Now, they procreate like rabbits, roam all over suburbia, and are protected (except from speeding vehicles). Control the deer population and the ticks that infest them will be controlled too. I think we need an EO or something.

      • Certified Public Asshat

        I’m trying, we had venison roast Sunday and ground deer in our tacos last night.

      • slumbrew

        I sous-vide’d the backstrap my BIL gave us last season & served with cheesy polenta and a gremolata.

        Dang, was that a good meal.

      • Sean

        I sous-vide’d the backstrap

        Hipster.

        😛

      • slumbrew

        I regret nothing!

        Reverse-sear probably would have worked as well.

      • Fourscore

        I picked up teriyaki sticks yesterday, from last November’s hunting season. They’ll be on the table at HH. Haven’t tried them yet but they’ve always been good , made by the local market.

      • Tundra

        That is an excellent butcher shop. And I always picked up a bunch of their different meat sticks and jerky.

        Emily is an underrated town.

      • Fourscore

        Now a VN restaurant in town. Mrs F enjoys going there, the owners always come out and make the rounds of the customers.

    • Not Adahn

      I did not know that theory had been debunked.

      How did a tick-borne disease make it from Italy to the US?

      Also, notorious right-wing progaganda outlet wikipedia sez:

      Lyme disease is the most common disease spread by ticks in the Northern Hemisphere.[21][8] Infections are most common in the spring and early summer.[4] Lyme disease was diagnosed as a separate condition for the first time in 1975 in Lyme, Connecticut. It was originally mistaken for juvenile rheumatoid arthritis.[22] The bacterium involved was first described in 1981 by Willy Burgdorfer.[23]

      Pretty sneaky for a disease to go unnoticed for 7000 years.

      • UnCivilServant

        Well, if a person got bit in Italy, caught the disease, travelled to the Americas and got bit again, letting the new ticks pick up the disease, it could make the trip.

  31. UnCivilServant

    Da fuq?

    My passport is now ‘Shipped’ with a tracking number and everything. I literally started the process last wednesday after work.

    Is it going to spend 3-5 weeks in the USPS?

    • trshmnstr

      Online renewal? Yeah it’s faster than expected.

      • UnCivilServant

        Yes, it was online rather than expedited.

      • R.J.

        Agreed. It’s much faster than that. Unless of course malicious compliance with Trumps EO gets in the way…

    • Jarflax

      Marco Rubio cleaning house! More seriously There is no reason it should not ship within 24-48 hours of the application being received, Government 4-6 week time frames are just built in time for lazy bureaucrats to not bother doing their jobs.

      • R.J.

        You new Porsche will be built by Bubba in Tennessee! If it is s success, we could build all their cars to bypass expensive and wasteful European labor unions.

      • Sean

        I don’t think I’d want a US made Audi. Especially at a new facility…

        Meh. I’m probably done with that brand anyway.

    • R C Dean

      “the last thing I want is another 122 lbs. on my motorcycle”

      What if that 122 lbs. is wearing Daisy Dukes and a halter top?

  32. The Late P Brooks

    I don’t see anything in that Jalopnik article about VW shutting down production in Germany because they can’t afford to build cars there anymore.

    • R.J.

      I am waiting for two EOs from Trump:
      1) Back up our environmental and safety regs to at least the 1990s, if not earlier and
      2) Allow any and all foreign made cars on our roads.

      I might get #1, I am probably dreaming with #2.