“You will rule Britain with an iron fist, my son,” Trump said. “They will be a vassal state. You will cleanse the land of rapists.”
“Am I ready, Father?” Barron asked.
“He should be a Baron,” the hair said. “Baron Barron sounds powerful.”
“Archduke Barron, the Super-Duke that gives all the regular Dukes swirlies,” the hat said.
“Eric will rule Greenland, perhaps. As long as we don’t pay too much for it.”
“They have no trees, Father.”
“You can buy trees,” Donald said dismissively.
“And Canada, the crappiest of my foreign colonies, well…”
“Canada? Tim Horton’s country?” the hat said. “They don’t even make good doughnuts.”
“But poutine…” the hair began.
“Americans can pour gravy over fries,” the hat said. “We just don’t. Because fries shouldn’t be soggy.”
“Some people like soggy fries,” the hair said.
“They should be deported!” the hat said. “The practice is haram!”
“We’ll rename the Gulf of Mexico to The Gulf of America!’ Donald continued.
“And the rest, Father? What will be the rest?” Barron asked.
“Britain, the discarded husk from which America was born, will be named Barronland.”
“I am so honored, Father.”
“And Greenland will become Green America. And Canada will stay Canada, but it will always be referred to as Canada, Eh.”
“Pwn’d,” the hat said. “Maple-sucking puck-slappers.”
“Who will rule over Canada?” Barron asked.
“I’m putting an HOA in charge of the whole thing,” Donald said and chuckled.
“That’s the cruelest thing I’ve ever heard,” the hair said.
“They deserve it for Nickelback alone,” the hat hissed.
“New Mexico will be renamed Gasden,” Donald said. “It will be filled with New Gasdenniens, a proud people that will defend our borders and make the nation’s pottery.”
“What about California? We should rename it Fagifornia,” the hat said.
“I thought you wanted to sell it to the Japanese,” the hair said.
“They can rename whatever they want after I see the money,” the hat said.
“You really shouldn’t use Fag. You don’t have a problem with homosexuals.”
“Lie,” the hat.
“You hang out with berets all the time.”
“I told you that in confidence!”
The hair said nothing.
“They just know how to dance.”
The hair said nothing.
“OK, I like gay people,” the hat admitted. “But California is still full of Fags. Not all Fags are homosexuals, you know. Most fags are straight these days.”
“What?” the hair asked.
“I call them broccoliheads,” the hat said.
“Father?”
“Yes, son?”
“What about Ireland? What are we going to call Ireland?”
“Nothing at all,” Donald told him, “We don’t want Ireland.”
“Why not, Father?”
“Because, my son, it is full of the Irish.”
Even the raspberry berets?
Yes, but only those from a second-hand store
But they DID give us Stan Rogers! And The Shat!!
Even so, I will now always think of them as maple-sucking puck-slappers. Even the ones I like.
(Misthread – should be reply to PON’s list of Canadian musical scourges.)
“But poutine…” the hair began.
“Americans can pour gravy over fries,” the hat said. “We just don’t. Because fries shouldn’t be soggy.”
“Some people like soggy fries,” the hair said.
“They should be deported!” the hat said. “The practice is haram!”
Poutine is wonderful. The Hat is haram.
Damn it. Now I want poutine.
Truth. The gravy should be served on the side and the fries dipped.
Whataburger biscuit gravy and their fries. Ideal, but I agree, it should be dipped rather than slathered because the sogginess issue.
Replace ‘gravy’ with ‘curry’ and you might have something…
Spoils of the culture war.
“What about Ireland? What are we going to call Ireland?”
“Nothing at all,” Donald told him, “We don’t want Ireland.”
“Why not, Father?”
“Because, my son, it is full of the Irish.”
Donald is making a mistake.
Isn’t the solution to breed them out?
The Irish tried that with the Picts and ended up as Scots.
Never make that mistake.
I think that process is well underway.
It’s… so… beautiful.
Had a good chuckle at the Canada HOA lines.
I heard the “pwnd” in CPRM’s character voice.
I mean, hasn’t Canada been run by an HOA for quite a while now?
Typo report:
It’s like this place doesn’t even have editors.
I see your (unwarranted, IMHO) Nickleback hatred and raise you:
Avril Lavigne or Justin Bieber or Carly Rae Jepsen or Celine Dion as worse Canadian pop-tarts.
I know they’ve apologized for Bryan Adams several times.
That cuts just like a knife.
That’s just the way it is.
Yeah, but that was way back in the Summer of 69.
Unwarranted, maybe.
I’m not a fan but they are better than Greenday.
Tell me this isn’t Greenday as a Japanese band.
Same chords same sound. Typical punk sound. Although I like Mongol 800
https://youtu.be/-u2LpGdrROI?si=ZUt0V0vdvGs5lcVp
Just fantastic.
<===
“Baron Barron sounds powerful.”
Reminds me of Burgermeister Meisterburger. Just make sure Barron doesn’t slip on a duck.
Sorry, Great-Gran Edna, but the best thing you ever did was leave that benighted shithole and make a new life in New Jersey. Second-best thing was teaching me to play five-card stud.
Nothing at all,” Donald told him, “We don’t want Ireland.”
“Why not, Father?”
“Because, my son, it is full of the Irish.”
If only Henry II, Henry VIII, and Cromwell had felt the same.
Remember it was McMurragh that sought out Henry II’s aid.
I like Canada.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YlcY_enzwmI&ab_channel=UnidiscMusic
Canada can’t be part of the US, because then we wouldn’t have a hat.
I think then the Arctic would be our hat. Which would be weird since the Arctic is the World’s Bald Spot.
Or a kippah and we can confirm the Jewish Conspiracy!
The arctic will be America’s whittle beanie. Trump should build a huge propeller at the north pole
Just throw a windmill up there, we’ve got too many lying around anyway.
UCS:
Pictured.
I’m well aware of what Cav was talking about, but why go to the trouble of doing something custom, when we can just angle the windmill to face upward?
Split off Nunavut as a protectorate.
Still the hat, but now we own it.
I like Tim Horton’s. There, I said it.
I got an unmemorable breakfast as one when I was on my way out of Gatineau.
It was still the best thing about Quebec during my visit.
I’ve only been to ones in Michigan and Eastern Indiana, during hockey trips. We no longer play those teams so it’s been a few years.
McPoutine is much less good than you might expect.
They opened one up near my old house in Minne. I stopped once and was very unimpressed with the coffee. Like Dunkin Donuts bad.
It closed pretty quickly.
I got their branded coffee from Walmart and it’s not bad. In store visit was unmemorable and only remember that I went because there’s a Tim Hortons cup on my desk with pens in it.
We can’t all live near a Caribou.
There are only six Caribou locations here. Three of them are at the airport and none are close enough for me to make the drive.
I don’t know… Burger King started sliding downhill pretty quickly after they sold to Tim Horton’s.
The closest to me are down in Ashland and Akron.
Outrageous insensitivity
Mark Zuckerberg wore a rare Swiss watch worth nearly $900,000 as he announced a sweeping policy overhaul across Facebook and Instagram and offered to help Donald Trump take on governments deemed too censorious, according to a report.
In a video message posted to Facebook on Tuesday, Zuckerberg vowed to prioritise free speech after the return of Trump to the White House, and said that Meta Platforms – the world’s largest social media business – would ditch its third-party fact-checkers and recommend more political content across its social networks.
——-
Meta would also “get rid of a bunch of restrictions on topics like immigration and gender” that were “out of touch with mainstream discourse”, the 40-year-old billionaire said, while wearing a Greubel Forsey “Hand Made 1” on his left wrist, Bloomberg reported. The watch retails for $895,500 before taxes, according to the outlet.
The world is crashing down around our ears, and he wears million dollar watches as he promotes hate speech.
The media have their knives out and sharpened.
“They stab it with their steely knives, but they just can’t kill the beast”
First the BJJ, now the watches…Zuck’s gonna post a video of him shooting an M4 with Post Malone before the year is out. You heard it here first.
It’s actually fairly common for watch people to see check what’s on the wrist of the various masters of the universe.
However, usually techbros wear plastic watches and hence all the interest.
Who wears a watch at all?
I mean, they’re uncomfortable, they snag on everything, and there are ample other sources of the time.
Men who want to project a professionally stylish appearance, and/or have a discreet and easily convertible store of value close at hand.
You wont be able to trade your iPhone for a seat on the last plane out, but you might be able to trade your Rolex…
So, when their glorious revolution comes and they’re up against the wall, they’ll be thinking “If only I’d had a watch for the border guard”?
I’m not sure my Seiko 5 is gonna get me a seat. >.>
That’s why you shoot the guy with the rolex and trade his watch for the seat.
Watches are acceptable male jewelry. Watch, wedding ring, (class ring?). for some subcultures, gold chains, grillz etc.
Like most jewelry, they are functionally not required, but exhibit social information. Just like clothing, shoes, accessories. etc.
Just about everything is connected to status signaling, and each group has their things.
I don’t quite get the watch guys, but appreciate the mechanics of a tourbillon.
I went to a Land Rover meet this weekend, and getting your vehicle stuck, but being able to get back out, was their thing.
I wear a Garmin so I doubt I’d even get a bus seat.
I don’t think my Laco will buy me a plane ticket, sadly.
On the other hand, I won’t be inconsolable if it gets lost or stolen – I’ll just buy another.
Unlike a Rolex.
“Who wears a watch at all?”
*raises hand*
Why? Because I want to. I like watches. If I had Zuck money, I’d probably be sporting a six figure tourbillon myself.
Who wears a watch? People who don’t like staring at phones all day…
would ditch its third-party fact-checkers
Huzzah!
and recommend more political content across its social networks.
Uhhh…
Especially hard left dogma and commie propaganda.
I believe he mentioned lifting blanket bans of certain subjects, and no longer shadow banning political content. I guess you could characterize that as “recommend more political content”.
It makes more sense once you realize that DNC talking points weren’t considered “political content.” They were just common sense and/or scientific consensus.
In my day, starting your article with a detail unrelated to the story would get your head wedged under the hot wax machine used to glue articles to the master copy page.
Your head fit in there?
Is that why the fez doesn’t come off?
I did take the broccolihead reference to be a shoutout to you, RJ.
Hey. It’s a brussel sprout OK? I got nothing to do with those broccoli heads.
You do realize that Broccoli and Brussels Sprouts are the same species, right?
Raycist!
“ditch its third-party fact-checkers”
He’ll just employ them directly.
Or better yet just sub fact-checking out to an AI to ensure plausible deniability.
It’s been interesting watching the traditional media and Ruling Class having a conniption fit over losing some of their controls over The Narrative.
Yep. A friend of my wife’s is a hateful, angry leftist. He just posted about how Zuckerberg was a fascist fluffer. Of course, my wife’s friend, who (literally) wants to destroy anyone and anything who doesn’t conform to his idea of decency misses the irony.
Remember, the biggest fake news of the past four years was the idea that Biden was mentally competent to fulfill his duties as President.
And the people who peddle that lie are the ones who insist they’re the arbiters of what constitutes “fake news”.
The word fascist has become the Left’s new Neo-Liberal. I have an acquaintance who calls anyone a fascist who doesn’t proscribe to his view of the world and believes that in a week or two we’re heading down a Nazi Germany sort of government.
And the best part is that he loves him some Elizabeth Warren who is the actual textbook definition of a fascist without the blatant nationalism and the love of brown shirts.
“in a week or two we’re heading down a Nazi Germany sort of government”
At least the trains will run on time, which will be an improvement.
“To improve adherence to the timetable, passengers will no longer be permitted to board trains.”
It is hard to choose which flat-out lie spun by the MSM over the last four to eight years is the “biggest”.
“Two weeks to flatten the curve”?
“Meta would also “get rid of a bunch of restrictions on topics like immigration and gender” that were “out of touch with mainstream discourse”
That should give you pause. They are just trimming their sails and basically promising to continue restricting things that are not “in touch with mainstream discourse”.
They are, of course, appointing themselves arbiters of what is “mainstream”
First, she said, she managed to drop her phone into a filled bathtub. When she pulled the phone out of the water and found it was not working, Choi went to her laptop in order to make a video call. When the call ended, Choi then knocked over a bottle of water—whoops!—directly onto the computer, which was also taken out of commission. So, when the day came to hand in her devices, neither was working.
“I’m devastated that I may have tanked the investigation on my own, but that I also lost all of my personal data that were very important to me,” Choi wrote to investigators. She had even, she added, gone to the local Apple Store in an attempt to retrieve the data on the devices. No luck.
https://arstechnica.com/tech-policy/2025/01/dirty-deeds-in-denver-ex-prosecutor-faked-texts-destroyed-devices-to-frame-colleague/
I’m impressed she was disbarred as noted in the Denver Post. OTH, the coworker was under a cloud for like 7 years.
More plausible than Clinton’s excuses TBH
She should have been disbarred just for trying to use that lame-o excuse. That’s worse than, “I slipped getting out of the shower and landed asshole-first on my cell phone…”
I do feel sorry for that one solitary person where it really was a slip and fall incident.
“She had even, she added, gone to the local Apple Store in an attempt to retrieve the data on the devices.”
You know, those things back up to Apple’s cloud servers unless you tell them not to, or delete it from the cloud yourself.
Which reminds me, I need to clean out my text traffic from their cloud.
Surrender to the radical right
Meta will allow its billions of social media users to accuse people of being mentally ill based on their sexuality or gender identity, among broader changes it made to its moderation policies and practices Tuesday.
The company’s new guidelines prohibit insults about someone’s intellect or mental illness on Facebook, Instagram and Threads, as have previous iterations. However, the latest guidelines now include a caveat for accusing LGBTQ people of being mentally ill because they are gay or transgender.
“We do allow allegations of mental illness or abnormality when based on gender or sexual orientation, given political and religious discourse about transgenderism and homosexuality and common non-serious usage of words like ‘weird,’” the revised company guidelines read.
Billions of users?
Dissent is murder.
Terrible, terrible sort-of freedom. 🙄
The LA fire is the result of more malevolent incompetence. Dams removed, reservoirs not filled, brush not cleared, hydrants not working, DEI firefighters, insurance companies regulated out of the state…
https://x.com/EndWokeness/status/1876862583929553137
Isn’t that the state motto?
The fire retardant drops are now rainbow colored?
They aren’t allowed to use retardant anymore because of the R-word in the name.
You would suppress the glorious flames of the revolution? No – let burn that iniquitous property, that obscene wealth; listen to the lamentations of the property owners when the insurers are held blameless by the regulatory commission!
So what you’re saying is it’s climate change?
Damn, SF, the hits just keep coming in this one. Every time I thought “Favorite line”, I read the next one and went “Nope, that’s my favorite line”.
Greetings from North Nowhere Vermont. The weather gods are giving me some comeuppance for the delight I’ve had the last few years for all the snow South Nowhere Vermont has gotten. I live near Jay Peak and the recent weather pattern has been such that Jay Peak, and only Jay Peak in Vermont, has been dumped on for the last few days and the snow is expected to continue through tomorrow. I didn’t go into the office today so I could deal with snow instead. I raked my cabin’s roof for the first time in a few years. In some parts of the woods the snow is thigh deep. It’s also cold, today’s high was 10F.
This is the first Good Old Fashioned Vermont Winter we’ve had in awhile. I miss the days of Good Old Fashioned Global Warming.
If the snow gets up to your crotch, be sure to put on some pants before you go out there.
I hope Vermont Old Fashioned is not like that shitty one with brandy and sprite
Jay Peak – looks practically Canadia
Richard, I’m hoping we can hold Global Warming here for a couple more months, then send it on its way east.
Seeing CA burn reminds of a dry winter/spring here with the accompanying smoke. Don’t need any of that.
The LA fire is the result of more malevolent incompetence.
I can’t help wondering if there are watering restrictions in those residential neighborhoods which have added to the fuel.
There probably are, but a bigger issue probably is the lack of defensible space. My childhood home was in an area with similar terrain, and we had Monterey pines and eucalyptus trees in the area. Those things go off like bombs when they catch fire. Every year the fire marshal would come around and tell us we needed to clear the weeds on the hill around our house to create reduce the fire danger, but I don’t think they do that any more. Clearing the weeds was one of my least favorite jobs as a kid, especially after I discovered a yellowjacket nest.
I’ll bet your hydrants worked, though.
The hydrants work just fine, there just isn’t any water in them. Nothing burning in SD yet, but there’s time…
Get the Kias to safety! Some nice concrete parking garage perhaps.
The nearest hydrant was about 300 yards and 100 feet in elevation away. Beats me if it would have worked.
https://x.com/stellaaaaaax/status/1876850474919571957?t=LeUfIglwZuZ-8a_XOUrbCA&s=19
Some interesting theories. Haven’t been on X much today.
I figured it was a homeless dude’s fire.
But if it was arson that’s pretty damn bad.
I’m guessing you can’t light a match in a windstorm in near-desert conditions without setting something off.
No need for “antifa” or other conspiracies. Yet.
Those hills are full of flammable brush and vagrants making camp fires.
https://x.com/AldoButtazzoni/status/1876908565073420604
Trump went on a long rant about water and the idiot CA Governor when he did his big Rogan interview.
https://x.com/CollinRugg/status/1877048612519121223
Every damn day in Denver, too.
New Gasden or New Gadsden?
Donald can’t spell. You know this.
That Zuckerberg thing is going to be interesting. Mrs. TOK was just on Facebook and there are a lot of people pissed about it.
It’s very telling that these people pride themselves on being smart and intelligent while holding the correct views but yet go apeshit when their beliefs are challenged and when someone writes or post something contrary to their worldview.
Proggies are retarded fags. It’s just that simple.
Tundra:
I want to be open to hearing other’s beliefs but I’m getting pretty tired of the progressives and wished they would just disappear into the ocean. They ruin everything they touch; they can tear shit down but are incapable of building or creating anything of value and have the mind frame of a five-year-old. Everything is everyone else’s fault and have the attitude of they’re never wrong which is so grating but yet that’s their whole schtick. I don’t use social media as much as I use to, but whenever I see a friend or acquaintance post anything remotely progressive, I immediately unfollow them because we are saturated with their bullshit.
I want to be open to hearing other’s beliefs…
I used to lol.
But you nailed it, Ed. For years many of us tolerated their bullshit because we thought they were nice but misguided. We were mistaken on both counts.
I mean look at the fires in Southern California. If Governor Newsome, LA Mayor Karen Bass, and the Californian legislature had concentrated more on early prevention and making sure that the fire departments and the Dept of Forestry had more access to firefighting equipment and manpower along with performing preventative measures to mitigate disasters like this, we wouldn’t see the devastation that is happening in the LA area today. But instead, they were spending and wasting money on dumb shit along with hiring people based on what they look like, and their genitals as opposed to hiring competent individuals. This is progressivism and the fruits of their belief system.
They can always flounce off in a huff to Bluesky. Doesn’t everyone hold the correct opinions there?
Well if they don’t have the right thoughts, they get banned… so maybe?
British MPs vote AGAINST an inquiry into the rape gangs.
https://x.com/EndWokeness/status/1877082326275920149
Boy, that will end well.
It will be fine, they have laws in place so they can arrest anyone who complains for “hate speech”. Prog policies have a 100% track record as long as you deny the consequences exist.
What, you expected them to vote against their clear interest?
::crosses UK off travel bucket list:: Kinda too bad, as I’d become passably conversant in the language.
Dear Pacific Palisades, Western North Carolina, and Maui – Fuck You
– Joe Biden
https://x.com/XAmericaNews/status/1877088867636912177
Evil fuck.
But then you hear the Left complain that we don’t spend enough on infrastructure because we don’t tax the evil billionaires and corporations enough.