Several days passed in just that fashion. Once I got over the novelty of seeing all the weird Oligocene life, it was a trifle dull. Not much different than doing game counts in Africa, really. The only thing like a close call I had was when two hyeanadonts decided to chase after the Hummer as I drove up a creek bottom. The two monstrous predators snapped at the tires a few times before I was able to climb a bank and hit a bit of open prairie, and then I was able to leave them behind easily. Fortunately they didn’t seem inclined to pursue the vehicle too far, because I didn’t see them again.
I didn’t see what might have made that basket – that impossible basket – either.
All that changed the second week out.
I left that morning as I usually did, lunch packed, rifle loaded in the Hummer. I decided to go south, the one direction I hadn’t explored.
The country was a little more heavily wooded this way, and I soon found out why. A large river wound its way across the landscape about ten miles south of the research station, and the countryside around showed the unmistakable signs of regular flooding. The river probably sprawled over the countryside every spring, soaking the soil down and supporting a pretty good growth of small trees and woody scrub. No large animals were in sight when I stopped, choosing a rock outcrop that overlooked a large stretch of the big, flat valley.
Still, this river valley looked like a good bet to start my survey for the day; rivers are game highways in dry country like this. I took a sandwich from my pocket and scanned with the big binoculars while I munched on a chronologically displaced, 21st century turkey and swiss on whole-wheat. Several hours passed with nothing happening past except a pair of chalicotheres, weird things that looked like a horse put together by a committee. They knuckle-walked right by me, grunting nervously at the Hummer.
Another hour, perhaps, passed with nothing but a few little birds and the scorching hot sun.
There! Something moved!
I had to fiddle with the focus a little, but I finally got a good look. I’d reviewed all the known fossils, all the literature on the period, and I was familiar with anything that I could reasonably expect to see in the Oligocene, in the middle of Texas.
But I didn’t know what the hell this thing was.
A moment later, I had to amend that thought. I didn’t know what the hell those things were. But one thing for sure, I was willing to bet they were the things that made that woven basket. One of them was carrying one on its back.
They weren’t primates. They looked like funny, bigheaded raccoons the size of a big coyote. They had thick brown fur and big bushy tails, only faintly ringed. I peered through the big binoculars, as they emerged from the brush, unwilling to miss even a single detail.
Seven, eight, nine of them came out of the brush. They circled around and put their noses together for a moment, heads bobbing up and down. One of them rocked back slightly, leaning on its brushy tail and gesturing with its hand-like front paws as it…
Spoke?
No way, I told myself. What I was seeing just wasn’t possible – was it? I was too far away to hear anything, but the mannerisms, the way they all faced the one that was gesturing, it all looked exactly like a conversation.
I had to get closer, try to hear what was going on. I picked up the big Remington and started, slowly, down into the river bottom. The going was rough, on the bare slope; only the odd bush here and there offered anything to hold on to. It was just so strange to have bare ground everywhere under the bushes, but grass wouldn’t be around for another ten million years or so. I ended up sliding the last twenty yards or so to the bottom, landing with a thump in the middle of a clearing in between two stands of trees.
A foul smell hit me immediately: Carrion. This was bad news of the worst kind; where there’s carrion, there will be scavengers. I froze in place, raising the Remington slowly and looking carefully around the clearing. There – a titanothere carcass, the broad back facing towards me. It was moving. Dead animals don’t move – something was there eating. I started to back away, slowly, but the wind wasn’t in my favor. Sure enough, after a moment a massive, heavy-jawed hyeanadont head lifted from behind the carcass, its bone-crushing jaws covered in blood and gore. It bared its teeth, growling.
This is the complete opposite of good, I remember thinking.
Then another hyeanadont raised its head, this one larger, with the stiff mane of a male. Oh great, two of them. The little raccoon-things, those weird little intelligent, conversational, impossible creatures, were suddenly the farthest thing from my mind.
The male hyeanadont moved threateningly around the carcass, ears laid back, tail held high. His mane stood on end, raising a good foot and a half above his back.
I raised the Remington, shouldered it. The big creodont didn’t seem to see it as any threat.
Why should he? I thought. Guns won’t be invented for another forty million years. The big Remington certainly packed more than enough power to put down the rhino-sized animal, but I didn’t want to kill him if I didn’t have to. I aimed carefully between his front feet and let a round off.
The heavy rifle roared like a clap of thunder, shattering the baking afternoon stillness. The big slug splatted into the ground at the hyeanadont’s feet, blasting a big handful of dirt and grit in his face. He didn’t hesitate at all – he swapped ends and ran, taking the big female with him. I ran the other way, watching over my shoulder as I struggled back up the slope, arriving at the Hummer soaked in sweat and gasping for breath.
I had the whole, long ride back to the research station to think about the days’ events. I was having trouble coming to grips with what I had seen back there in the river valley. A word was coming to the front of my mind, and the word was intelligent, but my rational mind kept pushing the thought away.
Mankind was the first intelligent, thinking species to walk the planet. We’d always known that.
Hadn’t we?
Trouble is, the fossil record is a notoriously spotty thing. I knew that, even though paleontology wasn’t my specialty. It’s common knowledge to anyone with even an elementary background in science. Building a picture of the past by examining fossils is like re-enacting a baseball game from a series of poor-quality photographs taken fifteen minutes to a half-hour apart. It’s really no surprise that we hadn’t yet found any traces of these little creatures.
Their technology, what I’d seen of it, consisted of those woven grass baskets. In a dusty, arid climate, animals don’t tend to fossilize. You want lakeshores, oceans, deep pools in rivers, that sort of thing – unless you are fortunate enough to have a specimen buried in a mudslide, or by a dust storm, or something like that. Obviously that hadn’t happened here, or if it had, we hadn’t found it yet.
Of course, now I’d be able to tell the digger-types where to start looking.
I arrived at the research station in late afternoon. Parking the Hummer inside the garage bay, I closed the bay door and went in to find something to eat. I had a report to write up, and it was going to shake some things loose when I got back to the 21st century.
There were still three weeks to go before the Chronos techies would snap me back to the present – or future, or whatever I was supposed to think of the time I called home. What I had to do next, is try to find out where the little things lived, if they did have a place they called a home. Then, I had to compile as complete a record as I could of their lifestyle, activities, diets, everything I could think of.
After wolfing a microwaved pot of chicken soup and munching a few contraband potato chips, I spent the evening preparing camera and video gear, every bit I had with me. I loaded the Hummer with gear for three or four days in the field. Food, a sleeping bag, fire-starting gear, extra ammo for the Remington all went in the back of the big vehicle. I also tossed in a couple of changes of clean clothes, lots of extra socks and my spare boots – when you spend as much time in the field as I have, you learn to take really good care of your feet. Especially in hot, dry climates – and Oligocene Texas was really hot, and really dry. All the camera and video gear went in last. I laid a digital camera with a long zoom lens – a 70-300mm – and a big professional digital video camera in the passenger seat, which the Chronos engineers had for some unknown reason left in the Hummer. It wasn’t like I was going to be picking up hitchhikers in the Oligocene.
I found sleeping really difficult that night.
Giant raccoons? Totally did not see that coming.
raccoons of unusual size?
🙂
and dexterity!
I’ll laugh quite a bit to myself if their population range is mostly through the Southeast and they like to build mounds.
This guy keeps yelling “It Happened!” in my head today.
https://youtu.be/RMABu5RwVcs?si=1ShAc1XqLN0tjEF8&t=902
When do the raccoons develop blasters?
During the big possum war?
The Marsupial Troubles.
Right after they develop mechanical computers and security accounts. The blaster developers get into a hacking war over the plans and just start yelling: “I am chroot!”
Will a big scavenger leave a carcass to attack unless you are really close? I thought they’d just issue warnings and resume eating.
Sounded to me like he was pretty dang close, going by the carrion smell hitting him in the face.
For all you know Mr. Hyeanadont was cranky that day and in his mind — that was the warning….
When does down under become a problem?
When you develop a rash?
*shrug*
Usually around age 13.
When the vegemite runs out?
When women blow and men chunder?
Gropey Joe is the worst president in the history of this country. Seriously, he’s gonna hold that title for a very long time.
We can only hope.
Also, not sure he’s the worst. For example, no one was conscripted (enslaved) during his term.
That took Congress to happen.
Rubbish. Biden is 19th best, while Trumpenfuhrer is third from the bottom.
https://www.cbsnews.com/pictures/presidents-ranked-worst-best/28/
“historians like Biden for his integrity, ability to compromise and his executive and court appointments”
I think I sprained something with that eye roll.
It’s like something the Bee would write.
Yeah, well fuck those historians RC. They’re a bunch of biased bundles of sticks and they like to molest puppies.
“historians like Biden for…
But were unavailable to comment on his use of the pardon power.
“That’s current events! We need to have 17 dissertations on his Presidential Archives before we can put together a treatise and comment!”
Historians fault Fillmore for signing the Fugitive Slave Act, which required that escaped slaves be returned to their enslavers. Harrison was not his party’s nominee for re-election.
This is an interesting typo. It is true that Harrison was not nominated for re-election…
“Gropey Joe is the worst president in the history of this country”
To date. You ain’t seen nuthin’ yet!
He may actually spark pardon reform with that last batch for his crime syndicate at the end, we can give him that.
Some bits over at National Review about a pardon recipient has to accept it and essentially admit guilt to a criminal act.
From Burdick v. United States
You guys absolutely refuse to give Wilson his due. His presidency had the shadowy cabal/crazy wife ruling in the name of a braindead puppet as well, and kicked off the Progressive devastation of the Republic that Joe’s tried to complete.
Thank you for enacting my labor.
Wilson also is the fountainhead (at least in the US) of the technocratic academic experts; his ilk are probably not the sole cause of everything wrong with the modern world, but I’d say they bear the greatest responsibility.
Fountainhead is the wrong word. He’s the camel’s nose under the tent flap of elective office, not the source of the desire by ‘experts’ for power.
Gotta say, I liked Melania’s outfit. Especially the Clint Eastwood/Man With No Name style hat pulled low over her eyes.
Is she giving out narrow gazes under there?
“You see — I knew you Senators were just joking around. But my Donald? He doesn’t like laughin’…. he gets this crazy idea you’re laughin’ at him.
Now if you apologize, like I know you’re going to….”
..Now, Ramblin’ Don, “He doesn’t like laughin’…. he gets this crazy idea you’re laughin’ at him.”
As soon as the prayer was over at the luncheon he’s attending with Congress, I’m pretty sure the server brought Trump a Diet Coke! 😄
Just in. Wife replayed part of Trump’s speech. I love it. Basically he told them all they are evil, incompetent pieces of shit that fucked everything up and he is going to undo what they did and goodbye good riddance. The look on Kamala’s face. Priceless.
Say what you want Trump really have revitalized the American public, a complete reversal of Obama’s “Get used to losing and having less” speech.
I dont think history will view the authoritarian left in a good light.
We will see.
I could do without the Gulf of America and the Panama Canal. But that was minor. He listed all the things we hate the left for, and called out all their failures, and they had to sit there and listen to it. And tons of Americans tuned in and heard it too. I like that he specifically called out black and Hispanic voters, thanked them, and said he wouldn’t forget them. Perfect.
Great speech, great visuals, and now the executive orders are kicking in. I saw a photo of a border crossing shut down and lined with cops (?). So far it’s a good start.
If I was black or Hispanic I’d be worried…
If I was an illegal invader I would be worried. Black or hispanic, not so much.
(He) said he won’t forget them.
Seems like there only 2 ways to remember them, cash or credit card, in a positive way. Negatively, many ways….
Well, if we let the left write the history (see above) it won’t matter what really happened.
Yes. I haven’t heard many or any really, say we have to take back academia.
take back academia
You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy.
We watched on NBC and it was surprisingly even-handed.
And we just buried our national malaise.
Who was the woman in white showing lots of cleavage and spilling out of what looked like her bra?
A member of Congress I think.
Bezos’ wife.
Some great memes of Zuckerberg gazing down her cleavage – that stuff is all over twitter right now. Caught forever…
Ah, Zuck’s algorithm is almost beginning to approach some semblance of human feeling…good for him.
TRT works!
I didn’t watch the performance, but the 11:38am announcement of biden pardoning members of his clan got my attention. As others have suggested the Congress better have public hearing with each and every Biden to testify under oath, including biden himself. Perjury prosecutions to follow.
Is there any word yet about OMB pardons for the J6 participants?
I’m watching Taibbi and Kern right now. They are so incredibly pissed at those pardons, and the press coverage of them. Apparently in the pardon, Biden mentioned the financial hardships of people and their families when the DOJ comes after them. A true POS to the very end.
See my comment earlier today on Machiavellianism. They absolutely never, ever argue in good faith. Their hypocrisy, cognitive dissonance, projection, coercion and diametrically opposed, constantly changing lies are deliberate and calculated.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rpsuDb6s5MI
Honestly, those pardons should be ignored. They couldn’t be anymore crooked if they had been bought and paid for OPENLY.
See, Biden didn’t forget them. And I thought his memory was gone.
“They couldn’t be anymore crooked if they had been bought and paid for OPENLY.”
*Marc Rich belly laugh*
Watched it via Mr. Metokur’s livestream – didn’t know he was still alive…but he’s kicking. Some hilarious moments particularly with the 2 sexes and the freedom of speech and no gov’t interference comments. Not sure if stream is still running or if he pulled it once it finished…
Trumpenfuhrer is third from the bottom.
Seriously? I can’t believe there’s anybody worse than President Cartoon Villain.
I’m sure they have the unfortunate Buchanan lower, even though no historians have advanced a credible way he could have prevented secession.
You would think a man who fought the Radical Republicans would have had his reputation rehabilitated by now, but alas Andrew Johnson was the worst because the most vindictive assholes (abrogating Lincoln’s policy) impeached him.
Lincoln’s predecessor and successor. Dick Nixon must be smiling.
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-14305857/trump-border-app-migrants-shut-down.html
Likely staged, but if not, fuck off bitch. Go home.
Too bad. Get stepping.
Emphasis added.
Look at the poor doe eyed children, bunny rabbits and kittens. They are sad. They are crying they are so sad. Look at their tears. You dont want bunny rabbits, kittens and little children to be sad, do you? Why do you hate them so much?
Yeah? Fuck ’em. Pulling our heartstrings to get us to turn around and drop our pants doesnt work any more.