Dramatis personae:
Maximilian Von Dachs, Captain
Wednesday Delenda, Comms officer
Pixel, Navigator
Kiki Goat, Defense
Engineering, Pongo and Tuppy
By the mid 21st century, Elon had decided he was going to install neura link for dogs with surprising results. It turns out that dogs are highly intelligent creatures: they just lack the ability to articulate as well as humans. However, they make great space pilots. Small and compact with an instant hierarchy, they were best for the job.
After 50 years or so, the alpha dog of the entire tribe had had enough. Max Von Dachs was very upset with the fact that they weren’t advancing as far as they could have as a species and therefore wanted more. By the 21st century it had already been proven that humans were incapable of occupying planets that dogs tend to thrive on.
So it was finally decided that we would send an entire dog team to Gleise 821 to see if we could establish a settlement there. So many groups were against it and the entire idea of sending dogs to another star that the dogs themselves had to scrape up their own cash to build a starship to take them there, so they did.
Along with the human collapse in population, Amazon was devastated. The CCP was destroyed and the only thing left was Elon Musk’s inventions. So with us left on earth to return to our civilizational recreation, we sent the dogs to explore the universe in our name.
Cats, it turns out, aren’t much use, but the one thing they have is the ability to see into the future. Not exactly the outcome of an event, but the trend towards it. And if you apply their lessons to you you are usually victorious. Every ship has one, well kept and safe.
Yusef, you reminded me of “Starship Troopers”.
Neodogs are used by the Terran Federation on K9 Corps, paired with a human.
http://www.technovelgy.com/ct/content.asp?Bnum=2075
I dont recall reading that in the book
It was a minor side plot, but a pretty heavy one. So I thought, anyway.
I remember Johnny discussing his options with the recruiter and putting K9 second to last and Mobile Infantry dead last on selection list for desired service.
When he told the recruiter his mother wouldn’t let him have a dog the K9 corp got nixed and he realized that he was in the MI or one of the make work brigades.
Sensei:
Because if he was fit for K9 duty, he would have snuck a dog into the house regardless of his mother’s opinion. I also recall that they needed to put down the neodogs if they lost a handler, and any handler needed massive psychological assistance to have a chance to survive the death of their neodog.
Rat Things
Maximilian Von Dachs, Captain
Pictured. Needs a monocle, though.
That him alright, a file photo
🙂
https://i.pinimg.com/originals/dc/f2/51/dcf251da37868db3d4f3e8ce314e6780.jpg
Uptwinkles
Will frolic. Will pet. Must have.
Evan, look up Crusoe, the Celebrity Dachshund.
The pro-natalist patriarchy coup is upon us
But X’s presence also underscored the outsized presence that the unelected Musk is playing in American politics. The preschooler’s appearance in the Oval Office nods to the double standard faced by women in politics and reinforces the gender roles inherent in Musk’s beliefs about family.
——-
“Trump begins with identifying the son, X, as a ‘high IQ individual,’” she said. “Every time you’re using this kind of language around comparative investment in the offspring, you are explicitly invoking the history of eugenics. In this case, it’s what they used to call ‘positive eugenics,’ or encouraging the ‘right people’ to have larger families, which is very much what Musk does.”
Lovett said the optics of X playing beside the Resolute Desk also seem like an invocation of the famous photos of President John F. Kennedy and his son, John F. Kennedy Jr., a deliberate harkening back to a youthful president seeking to remake the country.
——-
Pronatalism requires that people who are able to carry pregnancies — mostly women — be pregnant for large periods of time. These pregnancies can have a major impact on women’s participation in the workforce and economic mobility.
-Mostly women. Mostly.-
Next stop, white slavery and rape camp baby mills.
Go on, read the whole thing, I dare you. Parody doesn’t stand a chance.
Oh yeah, try this piece of shit,
https://prospect.org/politics/2025-02-13-elon-musk-general-secretary-of-doge/
“Mostly women.” Party of Science.
Are you a biologist?
Also Kennedy is in!
I still think the guy is a crackpot but he’s making heads explode so there is that, I guess.
Oh, God. Please keep doing this.
” an invocation of the famous photos of President John F. Kennedy and his son, John F. Kennedy Jr”
It’s always narrative with these people. They’re straight up writing fiction and think everyone else is, too.
“Hey Elon, bring one of your kids along. While he licks my desk and picks his nose it will trigger uncontrollable visions of JFK Jr playing at his dad’s feet in the minds of all who see. Then they will be powerless to oppose my will. MUHAHAHAHAHAHHHHHHA!” Thunder Crack. Imposing Silhouette.
I suppose the people who made the Biden presidency into a theater production, right down to using an Oval Office set, would expect the same this time.
“Hey Elon, bring one of your kids along. While he licks my desk and picks his nose it will trigger uncontrollable visions of JFK Jr playing at his dad’s feet in the minds of all who see. Then they will be powerless to oppose my will. MUHAHAHAHAHAHHHHHHA!” Thunder Crack. Imposing Silhouette.
Read in the voice of the hat.
Not a chance.
Imagine being so self-loathing that your shot at a life of graft is more important than perpetuating the species.
I’m …
They still dont get it. They are not going to get it. We have to wait for them to die off.
“Once a person is demoralized you cannot fix them.” “You can take them to Siberia and show them the death camps, the mass graves. They still will not believe it.”
It may take three generations to demoralize a society but it only takes one to wash that shit off.
Cats, it turns out, aren’t much use, but the one thing they have is the ability to see into the future. Not exactly the outcome of an event, but the trend towards it. And if you apply their lessons to you you are usually victorious.
When the cat says, “Don’t go in there,” listen to him.
Same for dogs. When I have a dog with me outside..woods, wherever, I spend less time watching around me and most of my time watching the dog.
Given the navigator’s name, I take it he’s a feline.
Who needs ’em?
Several reports pin the talk’s failures on a take-it-or-leave-it approach from Honda to acquire Nissan. Many of Honda’s top executives were reportedly worried about partnering with Nissan, as the latter company is suffering from significant profit losses and is currently restructuring its operations. Nissan, for its part, reportedly rejected the proposal to be acquired by Honda, as executives were said to feel the proposal undervalued the company.
As recently as January, Honda suggested the partnership could see it enter the full-size-SUV market, either with a jointly developed product or with an existing Nissan. With the talks of a partnership now officially dead, those future plans are in question.
Nobody needs rear wheel drive. It’s old fashioned.
Fixed it.
Er, damn tags.
Who needs recess appointments?
https://www.nbcnews.com/politics/congress/senate-votes-confirm-robert-f-kennedy-jr-health-secretary-rcna191856
Senate votes to confirm Robert F. Kennedy Jr. as health secretary
Kennedy managed to allay the concerns of several key GOP senators over his anti-vaccine activism. Mitch McConnell was the lone Republican to vote against him.
The Turtle just needs to go away already.
The Kentucky voters continue to be a mystery.
A lot is old school name recognition politics
The spent all their reasoned votes on Paul.
Cocaine Mitch was a master at bringing home the bacon.
That buys a lot of votes.
Bottom line, he was good for KY at the detriment of the nation.
See Nancy Pelosi or Dianne Feinstein for other examples.
MAHA motherfuckers!
Enjoy the Ars Technica comments on this “travesty”.
https://arstechnica.com/health/2025/02/a-sicker-america-senate-confirms-robert-f-kennedy-jr-as-health-secretary/?comments-page=1#comments
Another Kennedy in politics, come on America, do the thing you do so well.
so tolerant
Also Kennedy is in!
Stolen coolness. Trump isn’t worthy to brush the lint off JFK’s coattails, much less ride on them.
Serious People thinking Serious Thoughts
https://www.thedailybeast.com/tulsi-gabbard-likened-to-cruella-de-vil-at-senate-confirmation/
And while Gabbard promptly received kudos from some of the internet’s loudest Republican voices, such as Meghan McCain, who gushed in an X post, “We love you so much and are so proud of you and Abraham.”
Others likened Gabbard’s attempt to appear pious in a white pantsuit to Disney villain Cruella De Vil in 101 Dalmatians.
As Gabbard began trending on X during the hearing, a Reddit post titled “Tulsi Gabbard Giving Full Disney Villain Vibes—Hide Your Dalmatians” filled with comments lampooning Gabbard’s getup.
“Any moment now, I’m waiting for her dramatic cape swirl and evil monologue,” wrote one commentator.
Another added, with a play on dog breeds, “She’s the human equivalent of a s–tbull.”
Oh no! Not Reddit! Now that Reddit users said a thing it’s all over! Pack up and go home Tulsi!
Another woman in the cabinet.
The left is celebrating this example of diversity.
I’ve been watching her interviews for years and that never once crossed my mind.
Google “Fauci and Beagles”
Don’t.
Again with the junior high school cafeteria theatrics. 🙄
Oh, hell, SNL did that joke four years ago about the Dem primary in ’20.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y8EQFhj8ca4
JFK would have sent American troops into Ukraine to fight the good fight against totalitarianism!
Maybe. With Trump, RFK and Gabbard get stay in their lanes where they’ll do the most good.
Interesting:
https://x.com/Mark_R_Mitchell/status/1889501267317096866
Over three times more people in DC are googling “Criminal Defense Lawyer” than anywhere else in the US!
LOL of course
Over three times more people in DC are googling “Criminal Defense Lawyer” than anywhere else in the US!
Using government-issued devices?
Probably not. The government-issued devices are for porn.
Only GFE can access the FBI’s extensive collection.
MEMPHIS, Tenn — It was business as usual Saturday, as video shows customers at a food truck in Parkway Village maneuvering around a shooting victim’s lifeless body lying a few feet away.
https://wreg.com/news/local/taco-truck-customers-step-around-victims-body-after-shooting/
Smart. Once the cops get there you won’t be able to order.
Probably thought it was a passed-out derelict.
Sometimes I wonder that when I see it.
I see that several times day on my office days.
Don Left Parkway Village.
The picture is sickening, a ‘great’ image of demoralization. Overexposure has led to people being numb, inured to it all. Why wouldn’t they be, sadly. To not be would break you in its own way, regardless, I imagine.
Of all the things I’ve seen, I’m thankful I’ve never seen a corpse. I can’t imagine it *not* having a profound impact on this boy, thankfully raised in safety. I *have* had people die next to me in the hospital, which is like comparing checkers to the space launch. The demoralizing, unbecoming effects of growing up surrounded by violence are sickeningly human. Natch, those who benefit aim to perpetuate it. Fuck the ‘cost.’
Nice take down.
Good, punk ass kid
I’ve done harder Kosoto Gari on friends at the gym.
Just arrived in NJ. After a series of bad experiences, decided to drop Budget car rental and try SIXT.
The full sized car I reserved turned out to be Subaru Outback Onyx Edition with 70 miles on it. I’m pleased so far – particularly as it may snow again this weekend.
Too early for the head gasket leak. Win!
Never heard of them.
I’ve enjoyed renting from Sixt. They’re sorta laid back. I still don’t know how to pronounce the company name.
Throatwarbler Mangrove
Not only did I have a flat tire, I mistakenly bought Stouffer’s BROCCOLI mac’n’cheese. 😤 Why does the universe want to make me eat my vegetables?
Have you bought canned tuna recently?
https://www.usatoday.com/story/money/food/2025/02/12/canned-tuna-recall-botulism-maps-states/78450404007/
*looks on pantry shelf at a case of canned tuna*
Not recently.
🥦
Yikes.
I feel your pain. I’ve mistakenly purchased “non-alcoholic” and “zero sugar” before.
Oh, “low-fat” mayo (or anything, really) is the worst mistaken purchase ever. Straight to the trash.
Hellmans or GTFO
/Best foods on the west coast
I’ve made the zero sugar mistake before, not the non-alcoholic one. The worst are the zero sugar things for products that don’t generally have sugar in them.
/looks over at zero-sugar seltzers that use artificial sweetners
Glances at “gluten-free, non-GMO, low carb Salt“
We had a trainer once who told us “low fat = chemical shit show”. I don’t think he’s wrong.
Frankenfood.
Low-fat == increased sugar
After moving last year I discovered “Duke’s”. I will never buy Hellman’s again.
Try buying mayo without soy oil. Sir Kensington’s or make it yourself.
Yeah, when I was hard-core low-carbing, my LC group was always talking about the soy in things you would never expect, like….canned tuna. “Vegetable oil.” ORLY.
I’d take yours.
Sorry about your run of bad luck. So much for “Material happiness, fortunate marriage, contentment.”
Well, I’m pretty content, actually. I’ve accidentally reached a point in my life where these things are either problems to work through or inevitable occurrences that must be grieved properly.
Now, if I had to take care of ANY of this alone and/or while trying to work a full-time job, then I’d be singing a different tune. At the beginning of our marriage, we set me up to be available to the children at all times (sans homeschooling), and now I’m available to take care of my mother and life’s housekeeping.
“Material happiness”? If my husband won megamillions tomorrow, I’d want to hire a housekeeper. No, we don’t have a lot and couldn’t survive a job loss, but I can’t think of anything I’d want.
What I’m regretting right now is that my mother’s relationships with those two sisters is going to be trashed soon. The youngest sister is on board with Mom and the next-youngest is used to juggling relationships between people with beefs with each other because she had a husband nobody liked. Mom’s grieving those relationships in her own way, but a) Susie would not have done the right thing for HER, b) Susie stabbed her in the back with badgering into things she didn’t want to do and always making it all about Susie, and c) we wanted Mom away from those two in case they started trying to manipulate or abuse her again.
Shit, I’m mourning the very long relationships I’ve had with people who are now seeing that I am not kind or merciful. It’s easy to be kind to people who aren’t trying to fuck you over.
History loving Glibs might find this interesting. One of my Japanese friends and I have been discussing. I had no idea about him until recently. This guy did not have an easy life, but made quite a splash in Japan.
Hearn was born on the Greek island of Lefkada, after which a complex series of conflicts and events led to his being moved to Dublin, where he was abandoned first by his mother, then his father, and finally by his father’s aunt (who had been appointed his official guardian). At the age of 19, he emigrated to the United States, where he found work as a newspaper reporter, first in Cincinnati and later in New Orleans. From there, he was sent as a correspondent to the French West Indies, where he stayed for two years, and then to Japan, where he would remain for the rest of his life.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lafcadio_Hearn
He is one of the authors I collect. Remember a couple weeks ago I recommended Kwaidan to you? He is the writer of the stories the film is based on.
Also, there is a special Japanese garden in Ireland that is really nice: https://www.lafcadiohearngardens.com/
I do.
You sparked my conversation with my Japanese friend. She mentioned he is well known there.
Dogs thrive on planets where there are people. Who else will they enslave?
We will find out soon,
E Pluribus Unum
Rep. Ayanna Pressley will reintroduce H.R. 40, federal legislation to study reparations for slavery, on Wednesday as the Trump administration leads a wide-scale rollback of diversity, equity and inclusion efforts in the federal government.
——-
“We find ourselves in a moment of emboldened white supremacy and anti-Black racism, and a weaponized Supreme Court that is actively gutting protections and progress that has been made,” Pressley, D-Mass., said in an exclusive interview.
She described the country as being at “a painful inflection point.” She added, “We have a hostile administration working actively to roll back decades of progress and more recent progress when it comes to our civil rights.”
This will bring us together.
She’s got 1619 problems, and the Bitch is one of them.
We’re done with that racist shit. You were never a slave. Pretty much nobody in this country was, and the majority of today’s slaves are held overseas. Go pester China.
The oldest person in the US was born 45 years after legally recognized slavery ended.
What about those 150-year olds who are collecting social security? They would have been born closer to the end of slavery.
Somebody hasn’t done his taxes yet…
Taxation is slavery.
Only if you ignore the fundimental definitions of both.
I do recall the argument with Ozy over the matter which resulted in a long silent spell between us that I’m not sure is over.
If taxation is slavery then assault is murder. Claiming a partial infringement of a right equates to an entire one is playing silly logic games at the expense of reality. Not all wrongs are equivalent.
She’s angrily pissing into the wind now that there’s no chance of any of this happening. She didn’t push any of this when her party was in power, did she?
Trump is back in office, so she’s trying to rile up the mobs. It worked last time.
Great timing. Way to read the room and current mood.
He was coming right at me.
The collision involved a rare collision of two large vessels as the 100,000-ton aircraft carrier collided with the 53,000-ton merchant vessel Besiktas-M, a Panamanian-flagged cargo ship.
Between this and the aircraft in the SF Bay I want to know what’s up with our Navy.
https://abcnews.go.com/Politics/aircraft-carrier-harry-truman-collides-ship-mediterranean-sea/story?id=118787251
Rum? Sodomy? The lash?
With a little side of long pork.
I thought it was Navy policy to sink anything that got too close to an Aircraft carrier.
I didn’t think they did so by ramming though.
This is the second time I took a beat to hope my son-in-law wasn’t involved. Especially that San Diego one, they are still off the coast training. But so far all is well. I did see that the Nimitz and its air wings were certified combat ready, so they are ready for their upcoming deployment.
But who hit who? Collision tells us nothing.
How does one miss a ship of either size on the water?
Oh, “low-fat” mayo (or anything, really) is the worst mistaken purchase ever. Straight to the trash.
Long long ago I, as usual, wasn’t paying attention and accidentally grabbed a package of “turkey dogs” or some such thing. I thought, “How bad can they be?” One bite and the whole kit and kaboodle went in the trash, including the first partially chewed bite.
Yeah, I got cottage cheese for my wife the other week, and it was low fat. How should I know? I don’t eat the crap. Same with mayo or soda.
Low-fat cottage cheese isn’t quite as bad as other low-fat monstrosities, but you can tell.
Low- (or was it non-?) fat cream cheese is an abomination.
Try some fat-free blue cheese dressing. It’s like cake frosting.
o.O
Pretty much nobody in this country was, and the majority of today’s slaves are held overseas. Go pester China.
Or the Arabian peninsula.
I’m a farmer who was forced to kill 6.5m hens. Here’s the terrifying truth of America’s egg shortage… and who’s REALLY to blame
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/textbased/news/text-14391213/egg-prices-shortage-farmer-avian-flu-Greg-Herbruck.html
Spoiler: regulations.
I have friends who are clinging to the “eggs are expensive” talking point issued by whatever central authority issues these things. It’s hilarious.
The latest dipshit talking point on FB is that Musk and Zuckerberg and Bezos have gotten richer since Trump got into office. Like they’re writing themselves checks from the treasury or something? Correct me if I’m wrong, but if people are optimistic, the market goes up, and their net worth goes up too. Just like our 401(k)’s.
Your 401(k) is going up from anything other than new deposits? You must be stealing!
I must have some secret corrupt relationship with Trump.
I just stirred up some shit. I posted a picture of a Fortune article from 2 days ago showing Musk’s net worth dropping as Tesla stock falls 27%.
Her post was from Bernie Sanders, so I added a jab about Bernie going back to yelling about onesies.
<==
VIRGINIA’S SPRING FIRE SEASON IS HERE
I’m glad fire respects the time.
DUCK Season!
WABBIT Season!
GAME WARDEN SEASON
Legit LOL. Well-played, Toxeth.