LOS ANGELES – Tragedy has struck the Golden State once more with a deadly blaze which killed more than a dozen and left hundreds homeless. “It’s a catastrophe on multiple levels”, said California Fire Prevention Spokeswoman Joanna Gambolputty. “The area burned down was prime habitat for both the Spotted Owl and the Delta Smelt, both endangered. We must all work harder to fight climate change and save the earth from fire. We urge all mourners to consider holding a glow stick or sparkler vigil in order to prevent another fire. On second thought, as glow sticks and sparklers are known to the state of California to cause cancer, please illuminate any vigils with your smartphone screens.”
Meanwhile, the US Forestry Service has been working on updates to its famous mascot Smokey the Bear. Critics have long noted the bear’s troubling connection to toxic masculinity and heteronormativity with his signature campaign hat. The hat, also known as a campaign hat, is worn by Army drill sergeants and traces its history to the brutal, imperialist war the US Army waged against indigenous fighters in the Philippines at the turn of the 20th century. The same war gave birth to the notorious Colt 45 pistol now heavily favored by MAGA supporters and other far right militants. Furthermore, say critics, the fact that Smokey is both shirtless and shoeless could be seen as insensitive to both the homeless and the undocumented immigrant communities.
“Clearly, we as Californians can no longer allow such hateful imagery in light of a second Trump term”, said Governor of California Gavin Newsome. “Some time ago, I appointed a special blue-ribbon commission to brainstorm more peaceful, tolerant and inclusive mascots which are in line with our official policy of diversity, equity, and inclusion.” So far, only a few details of the new mascot have been publicized, but it has been revealed that the new mascot will have a Spanish name, wear a rainbow tutu, and be an herbivore of some kind, possibly a squirrel.
California celebrities have pitched in with their own fire prevention awareness raising effort dubbed Learning Man. It will a feature a concert and other events hosted by Neil deGrasse Tyson and Bill Nye the Science Guy. Paris Hilton will run the kissing booth, Barbara Streisand the dunk tank, and Bill Maher has promised to bring enough condoms and lube for everyone. The public is cautioned that no outside fruits or vegetables will be allowed and to be prepared to use “San Francisco bathrooms”.
I still think one of you was White Indian/Mary Stack.
Am I free to gambol?
No.
You have not filed for your Gamboling permit, paid your license fee, nor been granted approved gamboling times and dates.
[ steal UCS’s gamboling gloves]
Theft is theft, even if it is an unopened package of dirt cheap hand coverings.
Holy crap, I forgot about Mary Stack.
white Indian and…I am bad with names….the psychedelic semen guy….something something android? – those were the only two lefties I think were real people and not paid trolls.
Agile Cyborg
Not sure he(?) was a lefty. Just incredibly high.
Agile Cyborg was the only person (?) I can think of who legitimately deserved to make up his own pronouns.
please illuminate any vigils with your smartphone screens.”
Video of a candle.
Cheap cellphone batteries at h on fire too, you know. Better just to hold up a picture of a candle, printed on recycled paper.
No, you can’t use papers or power for printers.
Hold up your hands in the sign of a candle.
Even better.
Assume a
can openercandle.She makes the sign of a teaspoon/He makes the sign of a wave
Printer toner is known by the State of CA, etc.
A shaky cam bootleg copy of a TV playing a log fire video, shot through an outside window.
” no outside fruits or vegetables will be allowed”
That eliminates a lot of Californian attendees right there.
There is a scene in Resident Alien where they disrupt a portal by throwing a banana through it and they shut it down…because of imported fruit.
You have not filed for your Gamboling permit, paid your license fee, nor been granted approved gamboling times and dates.
You must also successfully demonstrate your gambolery skillz before a panel of experts in order to be awarded a certificate of approval.
We can gambol if we want to
We can leave the commies behind
‘Cause the commies don’t dance
And if they don’t dance
Well they’re no friends of mine
Speaking of absurdism, I was reading a thing over the weekend about some German town working on a geothermal project. They don’t have a readily accessible source of hot water, so they want to try a new technique based on fracking technology which will involve drilling down two or three miles to super hot rock, pumping water down and recapturing it as steam, both for electrical generation and distributed heating.
I can’t help wondering how long it will take for a grassroots eco-fabulist group to protest them for cooling the earth’s core and throwing the planet’s rotation out of whack. Because projects like this will have a similar cumulative effect as the burning of hydrocarbon fuels has on the atmosphere.
You are 100% right Brooks but of course that is even more absurd than the AGW canard.
Bears are heteronormative? Jesse might beg to differ.
What is Tonio, chopped salmon?
Did you know that Canuckis wear their campaign hats crooked?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nwRIzYp7yOU
It says on better with the flappy heads
Meanwhile, in Philly…
“Oh, ICE. I thought it said CHIEFS.”
“Some time ago, I appointed a special blue-ribbon commission to brainstorm more peaceful, tolerant and inclusive mascots which are in line with our official policy of diversity, equity, and inclusion.”
You forgot resilient. That seems to be one of Gavin’s favorite words.
From the ded thread: If you are making your own ammo you can lube jacketed bullets.
https://www.levergunscommunity.org/viewtopic.php?t=89943
There are zillions of articles about it. I have seen guy claiming they could get up to 250 more fps using various lubes.
I tried using various mixes of beeswax, petrolatum, paraffin and graphite. I dont have a chronograph but there was a noticeable difference in terminal ballistics. The best was the paraffin and graphite, heavy on the graphite.
I did notice, however, that any of my handloads, regardless of velocity, were faster than a deer. I tended to load on the starting end of the of the recommended level. No use shaking an otherwise good gun to pieces. Never had a deer or any other critter complain.
You were wise in doing so. My target loads are the same. For more practical purposes my practice is to load up the mid-range and then leave well enough alone.
I have done some max loads that were notable…but not usual practice. the one I remember performing the best were 0.355 1
47 grain hard cast lead for the 9mm loaded to +p levels in the 38spl. That gave me 4″ barrel velocities from a 1-7/8″ J-frame smith that I carry. Impressive results but not for weekend plinking.
For deer the ‘ol standard 30-30, 30 grains of imr 30-31 – 170 grain Sierra soft nose jackets.
Good one, Derp. Just over the line to satire; right in the sweet spot.
“possibly a squirrel.” – Legit LOL from me. Well-played.
Got a doc appointment tomorrow. Friday, Feb 7 seizure to be addressed. Two new scars, which I strongly approve of, but a persistent ‘resting’ pulse of 113 BPM, which is fairly untenable.
“Hamas says it will release bodies of four hostages, including Bibas children, on Thursday and six living hostages on Saturday”
My day is better than theirs. Everything about that sentence is wrong.
Nothing to see here
The top criminal prosecutor at the U.S. Attorney’s Office for the District of Columbia, Denise Cheung, resigned Tuesday, following a reported directive to launch an investigation into Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) funding approved under the Biden administration.
——-
Cheung was ordered by Martin to investigate the Biden administration’s $20 billion funding of eight nonprofit institutions in charge of doling out the cash to projects aimed at mitigating climate change, according to CNN.
The program was funded by the Inflation Reduction Act, which made that funding available for institutions that can provide financial assistance to help deploy climate-friendly products.
——-
EPA Administrator Lee Zeldin has consistently criticized what he describes as “rushed” funding of the climate organizations and last week said he would seek to claw back funds in conjunction with the Justice Department.
“We will review every penny that has gone out the door. I will be referring this matter to the inspector general’s office, and will work with the Justice Department as well,” Zeldin said.
When asked about Cheung’s resignation on Tuesday, he referred all questions on her departure to DOJ.
These programs are all totally on the up and up. Why would anybody want to know where that money went?
“They’re not done shredding docs and wiping hard drives yet “
A “premature” investigation of a potential crime. That’s kind of a tough one for me to parse.
Well, another swampist gone, so that’s good. Ya gotta wonder if that was part of the reason to give her this assignment – to smoke her out.
Poor thing, she’ll probably have her feet up on a desk in BigLaw corner office within a week, wondering why she waited so long to start cashing that seven figure payday.
Look nobody’s perfect, as long as 10% of the funding goes where it’s supposed to we don’t need to investigate. Wouldn’t want to throw out the baby with the bathwater.
What’s very telling about the Left is that they aren’t mad about the taxpayer’s money being wasted or our children’s future being mortgaged on these wasteful boondoggles, it’s that they are being exposed to the general public. With the exception of a few, I have no appetite to allow any Left leaning individual or personality to lecture me about good governance.
the Biden administration’s $20 billion funding of eight nonprofit institutions in charge of doling out the cash to projects aimed at mitigating climate change
What the everloving fuck, over?
https://apnews.com/article/green-bank-epa-zeldin-climate-clean-energy-191b394cda251ef772867369f61f07b7
Billion with a “B”.
20,000,000,000
They really hate you.
throwing gold bricks off the Titanic . . . .
The effed up part is when the hurricane flooding victims in North Carolina needed some government assistance, FEMA and the Biden Administrations was like…”Well, we would like to help you, but we don’t have any money. So sad, too bad.”
It can’t be understated how much the Democrats hate the general population and believe that the taxpayer only exists to fund their utopian dreams and fraud. And any GOP member who resists reform and financial discipline should primaried out to space.
“Sorry, we sent *your* money overseas. Better luck next time.”
“San Francisco bathrooms.” – I went to use one on fisherman’s wharf back in 2002 or 2003. When I opened the door, a junky was laying on the floor with a needle sticking out of his arm. Don’t know if he was dead or simply ‘on the nod’ and didn’t stick around to find out. I held it till we got back to our rental.
The old racist white guys at the bar are really mad that Tom Hanks and SNL made fun of old racist white guys.
Black Jeopardy?
I think that’s what they were on about. I didn’t watch it.