“I’m just happy to be here,” Dark MAGA hat said.
“No, get rid of it, no, no,” the hat said.
“I like him,” the hair said. “He’s a breath of fresh hair.”
“There is no hair,” the hat said, his voice rising, like a guitar string tightening. “It’s just a hat.”
“It’s Elon’s hat,” the hair said.
The hat chuffed.
“And you like Elon, right?” the hair asked.
“Sure, I guess,” the hat said.
“Then you should like his hat,” the hair said. “He’s the Black friend you swore you’d never make.”
“And that kid of his, can’t he behave?” the hat asked.
“Oi,” X Æ A-Xii said. “I heard that, I fucking heard that, bitch-ass bitch hat.”
“Dummy up,” the hair hissed.
“I’m half-Canadian, motherfucker,” X Æ A-Xii growled. “I will fuck you up with snow, bruv! Fucking snow!”
“Is this happening?” the hat asked the hair as quietly as he could from Donald’s suit-jacket.
X Æ A-Xii looked around to see if anyone was watching and then began to elaborately pick his nose.
“It’s got to be some sort of midget or robot or something,” the hat whispered.
“Grandpa!” the boy said, begging Donald to pick him up.
“He’s a fine son, Elon,” Donald said, sitting the boy on his knee.
“He’s mostly American,” Elon said as the press filed into The Oval Office. “All North American, at least.”
X Æ A-Xii climbed Donald until he could whisper into his hair. “Call me Seven, bitch. That’s how many times Imma shoot you iffen you don’t keep Dark MAGA’s name outta yo mouth.”
“That damn hat has to be doing this, somehow,” the hat said as the boy dropped to the floor and began licking the side of the Resolute Desk.
“You want a Diet Coke?” Donald asked Elon. “I want a Diet Coke, you want a Diet Coke?”
“I’d love a Diet Coke, Mr. President,” Elon said.
“Order me one too, buddy,” Dark MAGA chirped.
Donald stabbed the Diet Coke button repeatedly, and said, “Diet Cokes all around!”
“Could I have a Coke Zero instead?” the AP stringer asked.
“Banned!” Donald said, slamming his hand down on the desk. “Mostly for still calling it ‘The Gulf of Mexico,’ but add that to the Coke Zero shit and you’re through here. GUARDS! Drag him away!”
“I don’t think we really have those sort of guards…” Elon began.
“I know, I know. This place doesn’t even have a damn dungeon,” Donald said. “Found that out the first time I had to work in this dump.”
“Doesn’t even have a dungeon,” the hat said sadly.
“Shh!” the hair said.
Seven mimed holding a gun and muttered: “Pop. Pop.”
Elon needs his team to wear uniforms. Tuxedo t-shirts but saying DOGE on the back, like law enforcement does.
Tuxedo Flak Jackets with velcro tabs to cover up during the DOGE raids. Along with Bezos and Zuckerborg masks
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CmwRQqJsegw
It’s a new dawn
It’s a new day
It’s a new life
For me
And I’m feeling good
Brilliant. The whole thing.
Concur.
Favorite line:
“He’s the Black friend you swore you’d never make.”
My fave was “pop pop”.
A story today about “Grimes” (whatever that is) being saddened by Musk parading the kid around the Oval Office and letting him hang out with the President of the United States.
Maybe the kid should be in school learning to get in touch with his female gender identity.
“I don’t think we really have those sort of guards…” Elon began.
Well, we should.
We had them, but they got laid off when Department of Education got a funding cut.
[golf clap] for DOE SWAT team reference
Every picture tells a story, don’t it?
The first cut is the deepest?
This makes me happy today. Thanks.
The Gulf of America going live on maps is also great.
Winning!
Gulf Of America is more neutral anyway.
To really be winning the Gulf Of California should be renamed the Gulf Of Mexico since it would make a hell of a lot more sense.
I was just telling Mrs. Dean that. El Donaldo should have made it a trade. Based on length of coastline, maybe.
She pointed out that still having a Gulf of Mexico (or I guess I should say Golfo de Mexico), only in a different place, would be confusing.
It’s still the Gulf of Mexico, calling it something else makes no more sense than trying to call Mt McKinley ‘Dinali’.
@invisible finger – The Gulf of California borders Baja California. We don’t own all of California.
Then name it Gulf Of Baja California. Or just use Sea of Cortez.
https://www.nbcnews.com/politics/national-security/senate-votes-confirm-tulsi-gabbard-top-us-intelligence-official-rcna191587
Senate votes to confirm Tulsi Gabbard as top U.S. intelligence official
Yes! More winning!
Fucking McConnell…
fell down the steps too many times
My joy in this is McConnell can watch everything he built get torn down in front his eyes before he passes into the great beyond.
He could have retired and sat on the beach enjoying all those ill-gotten dollars and forgetting about all of this, but just like Feinstein he’s clinging to power like a Sith Lord. And so as RJ said, he gets to watch it all fall.
If McConnell decides to run again in 2026, his ass needs to be primaried. Surely Rand Paul has some ideological buddy in Kentucky who he can back for the seat.? Some rep named Andy Barr has expressed interest. Anyone know anything about him?
Kept Garland off the Supreme Court and went right back to being a proud uni-party member.
I’d say push him down the steps again, but somehow Kentucky has a Democrat Governor.
“He could have retired and sat on the beach enjoying all those ill-gotten dollars and forgetting about all of this, but just like Feinstein he’s clinging to power like a Sith Lord:
That’s how I felt about McCain. Dude had an inoperable brain tumor, and most normal people would have used the little time they had left to spend time with their loved ones, but not that asshole. He wanted to hang on to power even if they had to wheel his ass to the Senate.
The one that skeeved me out was Feinstein.
When she was confronted about her noticeable cognitive impairment, she said she was distracted because her husband had terminal cancer and flying from CA where he was to DC was exhausting.
I can see no scenario where my wife has terminal cancer and I would work on the other side of the country.
I don’t have millions in the bank either.
Those people are inhuman ghouls.
Traitors? It’s the fucking officeholders supporting and glossing over illegal acts by the IC. You’re the fucking traitors.
I know some of you aren’t big fans, but in my view:
1. She’s been abused by the intelligence community, which is the perfect person for this position.
2. She’s not in a position where her views on other issues really matter.
3. The other cabinet members have been great so far, and there’s a culture of going in and kicking ass right away, so I think we’ll see that from her as well.
Tulsi and RFK were the two that had the most resistance, so this is great news.
I agree TOK.
If she was being put in charge of the ATF, I would be more concerned, but I think she is a perfect choice hear.
There is somebody he wanted to be over unions, some workforce czar or something that is almost full commie. Surprised me that she was picked. She might actually have the hardest time.
At least she entertained pardoning Snowden, unlike the previous shitbirds.
If Trump gets RFK today, this will be a surprising ability to get his nominations through. Except for Gaetz, and Bondi seems to already be more effective.
That backstabbing weasel Sanders vote against her?
(She quit her job at the DNC after they rigged the primary against him)
OK, fine, but no fucking bitching since I’ve already put this is the PM links.
Sorry, I was just doing a little happy dance
I feel your pain.
What do you think “This link intentionally left blank” means? 🙂
Eh. It’s mostly that I’m too lazy to want to have to fix it.
her sympathetic comments about Russia
Nice spin, NBC News. Shumer said basically the same thing.
But she’s still on the terror watch list?
This one is awesome.
Surely Rand Paul has some ideological buddy in Kentucky…
I believe his name is Thomas Massie and he’s awesome.
I’d have to call a doctor after four hours.
Sorry, I was just doing a little happy dance
wrong spot
“That damn hat has to be doing this, somehow,” the hat said as the boy dropped to the floor and began licking the side of the Resolute Desk.
Will he be possessed by the ghost of Teddy Roosevelt?
Let’s hope the ghost of Grover Cleveland gets him before, say, the ghost of Woodrow Wilson.
Ewww! Do you know how much of Bill Clinton’s jizz is on that desk?
Ewww…
So good with the imagery.
I love the new character. Awesome.
Insanity
According to the officials who spoke with NPR, the staffers who will be retained must meet three major criteria: that their job is required by law, that their work is “critical” to the mission and that their work generates revenue. The national security implications of canceled contracts, cybersecurity concerns over federal technology systems and other factors were not mentioned as considerations for keeping staff, the sources said.
Net positive value added, in a government agency? What kind of preposterous capitalist mumbo jumbo is that?
So 100% pink slips. I’m liking it.
The whole Gulf of America thing enrages them so. They know he did it just because he could, and they can’t stand it.
Every time I feel sad now, I am going to open maps and stare at the Gulf of America to cheer myself up.
We had a friend over yesterday. Big union guy, former cop, and absolutely loves Trump. The way he puts it, Trump is just doing these things to be a dick. Which is fine with him.
“Is he a dick? Yes. Would I hang out with him? Yes. Most of my friends are just like this.”
LOL
No dungeon? The Kennedy Rape Tunnels would like to offer up their services.
STEVE SMITH GET GET JOB OFFER AS DOGE CLEAN UP HITTER.
STEVE SMITH HIRED AS ENFORCEMENT “ARM”.
Cements my guess from last week that Donald doesn’t actually know about the fuck tunnels.
I thought there’d be a trail of blow leading down there, at least.
You think the guy who was snorting Parmesan cheese out of the carpet on the off chance it might be blow is going to leave a single molecule behind?
Government-issued devices are subject to monitoring, but the people NPR spoke with said this level of surveillance would be a dramatic change from how GSA has operated in past administrations, both Republican and Democratic. The introduction of keylogging is particularly alarming to GSA staff members working on sensitive technical projects, who worry it could compromise security.
“If you stay, they’re going to restructure everything,” said one of the GSA sources. It’s like a “Soviet-style reporting system, Orwellian nonstop monitoring,” the source continued. “This is bananas.”
It’s going to be a giant slave labor camp. They’ll be chained to their desks and whipped.
Wow. People don’t even check productivity on government devices, and everyone works at home. Nothing could go wrong.
Yeah! Orwellian non-stop monitoring is what executive branch agencies are supposed to be doing to the general public. Instead, this maniac is turning it on us!
“Orwellian nonstop monitoring”
*The NSA has entered the chat*
*OK, actually they’ve been here the whole time*
“They’ll be chained to their desks and whipped.”
Look, I already voted for the guy. You don’t have to sell me.
What fucking ‘sensitive projects’ is the fucking GSA working on, and why?
I had a similar thought the other day. What fucking “foreign aid programs” can possibly be classified? Either they’re lying about the classification or they’re lying about the work being done.
Their outside jobs.
That’s odd. This non-anonymous chick is saying ’tain’t so. 🤔
I laughed at the Oval Office elaborate nose picking.
The kid hearing their conversation and making hardcore threats was the icing.
The mood across GSA is grim. “People are crying — these people have children,” said one of the GSA officials. “Everyone has bills — everyone has to put food on the table. We still have to survive.”
“This is a paradigm shift,” the official continued. “The world of government as you knew it, it’s gone.”
*outright prolonged laughter*
“Some employees were told that this would include monitoring of when employees logged in and out of their devices, when employees swipe in and out of their workspaces and monitoring of all their work chats. They were also told that “keylogger” software that would keep track of everything the employees typed on their work machines would be installed on their work computers, the GSA officials said.”
Welcome to corporate America! And part of the reason for this exact monitoring on my workplace PC is FedGov requirements.
Yep.
/goes through annual PCI, PII, GDPR, and HIPAA “trainings”
“There is no expectation of privacy on this computer.”
— Message I have to click OK to every morning
Agreed. I have absolutely zero sympathy. All those buttercups can suck it up.
I remember when Obama called out catastrophic health insurance coverage as evil. Once Obamacare made individual catastrophic insurance illegal, my company had to lay off more than 1/2 of staff. I personally laid off people all day, one Thursday. 6AM to 6 PM. That’s just one time the government interfered with business, made shit really expensive and caused massive layoffs in an industry. Reap the whirlwind.
FFS. Swiping in and out means they are already being monitored.
Shouldn’t all their communications already be monitored to comply with FOIA?
FedGov requirements are why I can’t access anything corporate from my personal computer or phone.
JFC aren’t they getting severance packages even? FFS.
Look, I already voted for the guy, etc.
Didn’t they get the warning about big government being over back when Clinton said it?
You believed a word he said?
Wage and price controls- a proven path to economic prosperity
Gov. Kathy Hochul announced Tuesday that she will take action to block rising utility costs and protect consumers, calling for the rejection of Con Edison’s proposed rate increases and ordering a statewide audit of utility company salaries and compensation.
In a letter to Public Service Commission (PSC) Chair and Department of Public Service (DPS) CEO Rory Christian, Hochul urged regulators to reject Con Edison’s request to raise electricity rates by 11.4% and natural gas rates by 13.3%.
“The cost of living is too damn high, and New Yorkers need more money in their pockets,” Hochul said. “Of course we need safe, reliable energy sources to power our homes and businesses. But utility companies shouldn’t be jacking up costs unnecessarily – especially if they’re paying their own staff too much.”
Hochul called for a full audit of utility company compensation to ensure that ratepayers are not unfairly burdened by excessive salaries. In response, a Con Edison spokesperson defended the company’s pricing and operational costs.
We must win the war on kkkorporate greedflation.
“Hochul called for a full audit of utility company compensation to ensure that ratepayers are not unfairly burdened by excessive salaries.”
Wow, I didn’t expect for her to be a supporter of DOGE. Why are you laughing?
The lack of self-awareness there is amazing. All that is missing is for her to say that utility companies are “unelected bureaucrats making things more expensive.”
What about excessive rates due to warmist anti-human regulations forcing inefficient power sources?
Isn’t New York still paying for the nuclear power plant they built, tested, then immediately decommissioned?
The balls on that bitch…
Useless fucking commie.
I can’t wait to hear about the rolling blackouts.
“We tried to notify you, but your power was out at the time, so the internet was down”
Total grandstanding as she will approve a rate increase when it is explained that tax revenues will increase as a result.
Let’s see if I can spoil another afternoon link.
https://www.reuters.com/world/europe/us-defense-chief-hegseth-says-return-ukraines-pre-2014-borders-not-realistic-2025-02-12/
U.S. Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth said a return to Ukraine’s pre-2014 borders was unrealistic and the Trump administration does not see NATO membership for Kyiv as part of a solution to the war triggered by Russia’s invasion.
Paying off Putin for helping in the last election.
Sounds a lot like my prediction for the outcome of the war. I had offered a couple of possibilities, but all of them detatched the east from Ukraine, only differing in how openly they would be ruled by Russia.
People really detached from reality on this one. A ground war with Russia on the Russian border…
That rarely works out well.
But Z offered to exchange Ukrainian occupied territory in Kursk.
There is no doubt going to be a deal. I’m considering going scorched earth on the Dems on my social media feed who will undoubtedly bitch and moan about Trump ending a war that killed millions and nearly led us to a nuclear exchange.
Their insane fixation on Putin is going to lead to a lot of ugliness coming from that quarter.
My wife just called me and told me that our 19 year old cat is in bad shape and will need to be put to sleep. I knew she wasn’t in the best shape, but I didn’t know it was this bad. Part of me is relieved that she won’t be suffering anymore but I’m also sad because she’s been part of my life for 14 years. My wife is devastated because she’s had that cat since her sophomore year of college.
😿
We went through that recently on a much younger cat. I’m sorry.
That is a painful thing to have to do, I feel for you.
Sorry Ed.
My condolences.
Aw. That is lot of years. I lost two at around 14.
I’m sorry! We lost one cat suddenly and much too soon. We don’t really know how old either of our current cats are, but whenever they go, it will be too soon. 😞
#winning
It’s a drop in the bucket, but it’s still a win.
“FEMA was funding the Roosevelt Hotel that serves as a Tren de Aragua base of operations and was used to house Laken Riley’s killer.”
Damn.
There are lots of people from the Biden administration that need to be charged with treason.
Here’s a bigger drop
https://x.com/charliekirk11/status/1889756471484883237
Eliminating waste, fraud, and abuse by having to identify that you are who you say you are. That sounds like it might affect people too stupid to figure out how to get a ID.
He’s right. Is it a trillion? Maybe. At least half a trillion.
It’s like wild how the Democrats constantly are the ones who tries to fight against fraud, waste, and abuse but yet has convinced us that they are all about good governance.
You start to see that a lot of Democrats use government as this slush fund to fund their pet projects and supporters. They weaponized empathy to abuse and waste taxpayer’s dollars by often saying, “If you cut X program, you are hurting little Tyrone, killing Grandma, or hates education.”
The Dems resistance to everything Trump does is getting more and more ridiculous. You can’t deposit or cash those checks without an ID, but requiring an ID to receive the check is going to be declared racist.
It is a small drop in the bucket, but it sends a message that for the time being (because statists never give up) this sort of behavior won’t be tolerated or accepted.
I’m pretty sure that Trump will eventually disappoint me but I’m liking what he and Musk are doing in DC right now.
Now a Federal Court says “yes, the Executive Branch can control how money is spent”.
https://x.com/libsoftiktok/status/1889734783883686328
Conflicting rulings, just keep going until the Supreme Court gets to it.
Any idea which court said this?
I’m unashamed to say I slug Coke Zero down to a slightly ridiculous extent. Easily 8/day, if not more. It’s nearly identical to Normal. Those sugar-free bastards earned every penny. *ksssskch* Does me right. DIET Coke, on the other hand, is undrinkable. See also: Sweet tea. Evil beverage. The most evil. Postum gets a bad rap.