THE RESISTANCE – Episode 3

by | Feb 19, 2025 | THE RESISTANCE | 141 comments

“Rise! RISE!” Hillary screeched at the gray winter sky.

“I’m not dead,” Kamala said. “And why turkeys?”

“They are the psychopomps of Native wisdom,” Elizabeth said.

“And they are delicious!” Sandy said, grinning, big horse teeth gleaming.

“Ḥimār,” Ilhan muttered. Rashida, face like a slapped ass, nodded in agreement.

“Can we go inside?” Nancy asked, her loose face skin quivering.

“I guess,” Hillary said. She gathered her brocaded robes and waddled back into the conference hall of the retreat.

“Why am I even here?” Kamala asked when they got settled. “I just want to get drunk and pounded out flat like a chicken parm by my Jew husband.” Ihlan and Rashida hissed like wet cats.

“2028, of course,” Hillary said. Heads all around nodded.

“I’m not putting myself through all that again,” Kamala said.

“You must,” a shadow figure said.

“Who is that?” Kamala demanded. “Step into the light.”

“Step?” the figure said. “I’m TOO FABULOUS for THAT!” David sprang on them like a vegan lion.

“I run the DNC now, bitch!” David said, his stick limbs waving around him as he capered. “You are our candidate! You’re here forever!”

“I don’t want to run again,” Kamala said.

“Well, too fucking bad, girlfriend,” David lisped.

“You run as many times as you have to,” Hillary said. “I only stopped because of health reasons.” Under her robes came a slithering laugh.

“2028 will be perfect!” David said. “Orange Man will be gone.”

“Unless he declares himself dictator for life!” someone shouted.

“Fuck off, Margaret!” David screamed.

“I can’t win,” Kamala said. “It was so humiliating.”

“No, bitch,” David said. “We know the path to victory! MORE GAY!”

“More gay!” said the assembled.

“MORE TRANS!

“More trans!”

“MORE BRAT!

“More brat!”

“NO WALZ!’

“No Walz!”

“BRING HIM FORTH!”

A fettered Tim was frog-marched out into the light of the stage. “I’m just happy to be included,” he said, smiling. David slapped him, his thin hand barely making a noise as he put his full 75 pounds behind the blow.

“Just you shut up, mister!” David said. “I survived a school shooting! I went to Havard! I’m an American hero!”

“I’m with you, David!” Sandy cried. “I survived a riot!”

“Quiet, you!” David screamed.

“They came for me!” Sandy insisted. “They wanted to rape me. I was in danger of them taking my supple young body and rape me with rapey rape sex rape rape. Like rape-rape!”

Ilhan and Rashida moved away from her.

“Sandy, Jesus, get a hold of yourself!” David yelled, stamping his feet.

Sandy moaned and began to touch herself.

David got close to Kamala and touched her hair. “A complete make-over. Get you a new weave, cut back on the drinking, lose some weight, ditch the Jew husband and hideous step-daughter. You are going to be a whole new you, honey.”

Kamala nodded miserably.

“BRAT!” David said. “Sassy!”

“Raperaperaperape!” Sandy gasped as she finished.

About The Author

SugarFree

SugarFree

Your Resident Narcissistic Misogynist Rape-Culture Apologist

141 Comments

  1. Swiss Servator

    *Wonders if it is too late to ask Mrs. Swiss to change tonight’s dinner from turkey breast…*

    • Nephilium

      The most sensual part of the turkey.

      /Zapp Branigan voice

    • Gustave Lytton

      To a small glass of water?

      • Swiss Servator

        Probably for the best.

  2. The Late P Brooks

    “2028, of course,” Hillary said. Heads all around nodded.

    “I’m not putting myself through all that again,” Kamala said.

    Sorry, my suspension of disbelief only stretches so far.

  3. pistoffnick (370HSSV)

    Poor Timmy! He never gets any respect.

    • EvilSheldon

      I fully expected Timmy to be the ritual sacrifice…

    • R C Dean

      I would say he gets all the respect he deserves.

  4. The Other Kevin

    There are just so many good lines in this one.

    • Not Adahn

      as he put his full 75 pounds behind the blow.

  5. kinnath

    oh my

  6. Sean

    cut back on the drinking

    Unlikely.

  7. The Late P Brooks

    ditch the Jew husband and hideous step-daughter

    Somebody’s jealous.

  8. Not Adahn

    “Step?” the figure said. “I’m TOO FABULOUS for THAT!” David sprang on them like a vegan lion.

    *uptwinkles*

  9. Aloysious

    psychopomps

    Reminded me of the novel the Dark Half.

    Maybe Chief Sitting Bullshit has been talking to old Stephen King.

  10. The Late P Brooks

    Art is now verboten

    Hundreds of artists signed a letter sent to the National Endowment for the Arts asking it to reverse policy changes made as a result of recent executive orders issued by President Donald Trump.

    “We oppose this betrayal of the Endowment’s mission to ‘foster and sustain an environment in which the arts benefit everyone in the United States’,” the letter said.

    ——-

    “Trump and his enablers may use doublespeak to claim that support for artists of color amounts to ‘discrimination’ and that funding the work of trans and women artists promotes ‘gender ideology’ (whatever that is). But we know better: the arts are for and represent everybody. We can’t give that up,” the letter said.

    Dorsen told NPR she sent the letter privately to the NEA on Tuesday morning. She also shared it with The New York Times, which was the first to report on it.

    Anyone caught committing art will be summarily executed.

    • The Other Kevin

      “everybody”

      Everybody in their social circles is not everybody.

      I’m pretty happy about this.

    • WTF

      No government funding for art. If your ‘art’ can’t make it without government subsidy, then fuck off.

    • rhywun

      Dorsen told NPR she sent the letter privately to the NEA on Tuesday morning. She also shared it with The New York Times, which was the first to report on it.

      The circle of virtue having completed, it then disappeared up its own asshole.

      • R C Dean

        Which is it? She sent the letter privately, or she sent it to the NYT?

  11. slumbrew

    Bravo!

  12. Drake

    “I just want to get drunk and pounded out flat like a chicken parm by my Jew husband.” Ihlan and Rashida hissed like wet cats.

    Spot on.

      • The Other Kevin

        This is like rock bands from yesteryear doing the county fair circuit.

      • Drake

        Kind of an incoherent Ozzy vibe.

    • WTF

      My favorite line.

      • ZWAK, doktor of BRAIN SCIENCE!

        It is the scariest as it makes her almost human, and sympathetic.

  13. The Late P Brooks

    “ The First Amendment is one of the most cherished principles that this country was founded on. And we all like to think of this being a country where artists have the right to self expression, as we all do,” said Dorsen. “So this action by the NEA is more than concerning, because it seems to suggest that through these sort of weird executive orders and the applications of them to certain agencies, that freedom is being taken away bit by bit.”

    It’s not really artistic self expression if the government won’t cut you a check for it.

    This fucking chatterbox society needs a powerful dose of electroshock therapy, and President Cartoon Villain is pulling the switch.

    • The Other Kevin

      I picked up my sketch book last night, but my hand just wouldn’t move. I heard Mojeaux’s computer stopped working. Without the NEA the arts are dead.

      • EvilSheldon

        I used to play the guitar, but since the NEA money spigot turned off, I just can’t force my fingers to form the chords…

      • Mojeaux

        Huh? Mind blank. No think.

    • Gustave Lytton

      Doing what should have been done when Piss Christ and similar crap came to light. Thanks Bush and your RINO appointees for defending that.

      • juris imprudent

        Republicans knew they were philistines and wanted admission to the snooty arts circle.

    • Suthenboy

      Here we are with one of their foundational ideals: Not giving is taking.

      • The Other Kevin

        …and nothing can exist unless the government pays for it.

      • Nephilium

        Socialism, like the ancient ideas from which it springs, confuses the distinction between government and society. As a result of this, every time we object to a thing being done by government, the socialists conclude that we object to its being done at all. We disapprove of state education. Then the socialists say that we are opposed to any education. We object to a state religion. Then the socialists say that we want no religion at all. We object to a state-enforced equality. Then they say that we are against equality. And so on, and so on. It is as if the socialists were to accuse us of not wanting persons to eat because we do not want the state to raise grain.

        –Some old dead French guy

      • Ed Wuncler

        “By not forcing business and the wealthy to pay high taxes, you are giving them money and taking away money from the less fortunate.”

        That’s one the issues I have the Right is that they accept the Left’s faulty premises and allow them to say these kinds of things without any sort of pushback.

    • R C Dean

      Yes, nothing says “artistic self-expression” like fulfilling a government grant.

    • WTF

      So brave!

      Now do Mohammed.

    • The Other Kevin

      Let’s just save everyone the time and money, and get to the part where it sucks, nobody watches it, and they blame racism/sexism/transphobia.

    • Urthona

      The original Jesus Christ Superstar was also pretty “woke” for the 60s.

      The other two leads (Judas and Mary Magadelene) were played by a black man and Asian woman respectively.

      And then people were all like “Hey… wait a minute here”.

      • kinnath

        JC Superstar wasn’t woke. It was blasphemous.

      • Suthenboy

        Isn’t that kinda the same thing?

      • Suthenboy

        I was looking up David Hogg to see if he is fired from the DNC yet and see this headline “David Hogg wants Democrats to face some uncomfortable truths” and the first thing I thought was “Electing David Hogg VC of the DNC was a huge mistake.”
        Please keep doing it.

      • kinnath

        I don’t think so.

        There was no white is evil; color is good; men are women; fuck anyone you want kinds of rejection of social norms in JC Superstar.

        It was blasphemous because it viewed all the players as real humans with real human wants and needs and polluted the passion play with pop music.

      • Gender Traitor

        I sang songs from Godspell in high school choir (public high school, no less!) Am I going to Hell? 😳 (For that reason, I mean.)

      • ZWAK, doktor of BRAIN SCIENCE!

        I’ll say it: JC Superstar is the only musical I can stomach, and, by virtue of humanizing everyone involved, makes me give a shit about the the death of Christ.

      • Suthenboy

        I got it and when it came out I had no real objection. Now I see things differently. Critical theory and demoralization is about incrementally pissing more and more on what people think is sacred starting out very small with “I am just pissing a tiny bit and besides it isn’t really pissing’ then escalating until people are wondering how we got here.
        That is exactly what this is.

    • Suthenboy

      Wicked! did not completely destroy her career. A girl has to keep trying. She gets points for tenacity.

      • Urthona

        I mean she was great and had a great voice. I don’t see how it would destroy her career.

        She did have some dumb comments about a fan poster someone made of her. She’s not too bright. But I don’t think people give a shit.

      • Suthenboy

        You can just be the face of so many stinkers before your phone stops ringing. After a while people begin to associate you with the smell.

      • R C Dean

        Apparently Wicked was reasonably successful at the box office, pulling in $725MM. I wonder if the second half will do as well, but you can’t deny that the first half made some bank.

      • kinnath

        Wicked didn’t bomb. The reviews were generally positive. It made money.

        So, the movie succeeded in spite of the offscreen horseshit from the lead actress.

      • Suthenboy

        Oh. Apparently I should get out more. Wait, maybe that means I should not.

      • Suthenboy

        I should also say “But I dont even know anyone that saw ‘Wicked!’.

  14. The Late P Brooks

    No government funding for art. If your ‘art’ can’t make it without government subsidy, then fuck off.

    Make sidewalk artists with tin cups great again.

    • Nephilium

      As a child, I recall my Saturday morning cartoons being interrupted on a regular basis by ads for starving artist sales.

      • ZWAK, doktor of BRAIN SCIENCE!

        Sally Struthers asking for duct tape and banana donations.

      • Suthenboy

        If you aren’t willing to starve for it are you really an artist?
        Everyone needs a hero but nobody actually wants to be one.

        *Vincent facepalms* – “You can say that again”

      • R.J.

        Rugs. It was always ads for fancy rugs. Or Miller’s Outpost, which really dates me.

      • ZWAK, doktor of BRAIN SCIENCE!

        Wait, there was more than one Miller’s Outpost? Next you will tell me The Gap is a chain.

    • ZWAK, doktor of BRAIN SCIENCE!

      Make Willem De Kooning great again.

    • kinnath

      Remember when artists depended on wealthy patrons for their livelihoods?

      • juris imprudent

        You don’t get leftist art that way.

      • kinnath

        Well, you could if the current Pope was your patron.

    • Gustave Lytton

      Someone should probably check on Bob Poole.

      • Sensei

        He’s in Toronto on assignment.

    • Urthona

      So…. That doesn’t seem very federalist.

      • R C Dean

        Well, nothing really is, anymore.

        Get the feds to stop cutting checks to the states, and we can talk.

      • Spudalicious

        The Federal Highway Administration had to approve it. That approval was withdrawn.

    • Suthenboy

      Turns out that centralizing power isn’t all it’s proponents thought it would be.

    • Dr Mossy Lawn

      Only when you used Fed money to build and maintain those NYC roads.

      There was a similar thing where NJ wanted to limit Semi Trucks to local services and the interstates..

      https://www.nj.gov/transportation/home/documents/truckbanrules22806.pdf

      Due to the use of Federal funds on many of those roads this was blocked.

    • ZWAK, doktor of BRAIN SCIENCE!

      Interstate commerce, how does it work?

    • rhywun

      I can only imagine that Donald’s approval is required because they’re justifying it with some herpitydoo about “climate” or “environment”?

      MTA will have to find a new way to pay for those fat union contracts.

      And they might have to go after turnstile jumpers again. I can hear Sharpton bitching about it from here.

  15. The Late P Brooks

    …and nothing can exist unless the government pays for it.

    Yes. This idea is so insidious and utterly pervasive. How did that happen?

    Thank a teechur!

  16. The Late P Brooks

    Still love that FedGov can control NYC’s tolls.

    But that congestion pricing scheme was working perfectly. Everybody says so.

  17. Sensei

    How to lie with statistics as brought to you by the NYT.

    Recent data on salmonella-infected eggs is hard to find. One widely cited study from 2000 suggested that one in every 20,000 eggs carries the bacteria. This might not sound like a lot, but given how many eggs Americans eat — about 250 per person on average in 2023 — that risk can add up…

    …around 26,500 people with salmonella are hospitalized and about 420 die of their infections each year.

    That 250 eggs/person would appear to be all eggs – not merely uncooked or runny egg consumption. My personal consumption on runny eggs probably runs closer to 70/year.

    The next paragraph jumps into salmonella hospitalizations and deaths. You’ll note it does NOT claim the source of those infections were eggs, but all sources.

    Are Runny Egg Yolks Safe to Eat?
    It’s hard to beat a yolk-soaked breakfast sandwich. But undercooking your eggs carries real health risks.

    https://www.nytimes.com/2025/02/19/well/runny-egg-yolk-salmonella-bird-flu-safety.html
    https://archive.fo/z8bws

    • Nephilium

      If you’re worried or immunocompromised, get pasteurized eggs for runny and raw applications. Otherwise, life sucks, get a fucking helmet.

    • Suthenboy

      “You didnt really want those eggs anyway so stop bitching and eat ze bugs”

      I hope to God the NYT has every penny of fed dollars ripped out of their grasping commie hands. Let them die and turn to ash already.

    • UnCivilServant

      My personal consumption on runny eggs probably runs closer to…

      0, that shit is vomitous.

      • R.J.

        I love it. Sunny side up is one of my faves.
        <== Of course look at me. That's a mouth that was made to eat raw eggs!

    • R C Dean

      I eat over 100 properly cooked (over easy) eggs a year, and have for decades. Never caught salmonella. No idea where people are getting it from, but I doubt more than a handful catch it from eggs.

      • R C Dean

        On further review, many of them are technically sunny side up, given that Mrs. Dean and I both finish them under a lid rather than flipping them. Runny yolk? 👍 Runny whites? 👎🏼

      • Drake

        I’m consuming roughly 500 a year.

      • slumbrew

        I’m good for over 1,000 over-easy eggs a year (3 a day, almost every day). Have for years.

        No salmonella.

        Just had flat-out raw egg on my stake tartare, too.

      • UnCivilServant

        Go ahead and flaunt your wealth, wasting that much on egges.

      • ZWAK, doktor of BRAIN SCIENCE!

        Look at Slumbrew over here, playing with (lack of)fire!

      • slumbrew

        My wife is good for 2 a day as well.

        We got that egg money, yo.

      • Sensei

        I tried to search to find what the sources of Salmonella infection were, but nothing good showed up.

        Closest I could find was a some European study that suggested the highest source of infection was “catered” food – however they define that followed by eggs.

        So being generous 30% – 50% of those 420 deaths were from eggs. And I put good money that most of those people were either very young or very old or sick.

      • ZWAK, doktor of BRAIN SCIENCE!

        Wait, is your wife selling her eggs?

      • slumbrew

        That _would_ offset the grocery spend, Zwak…

      • trshmnstr

        many of them are technically sunny side up

        I do a hybrid. I crack the eggs into the pan, salt and pepper them, and put the lid on. Once the whites on top of the yolks get cloudy, I flip the eggs and give them a few seconds on their lid to firm up the whites.

        I also prefer over medium to over easy, so this allows the liquid yolk to be in the middle rather than on the top.

  18. The Late P Brooks

    But undercooking your eggs carries real health risks.

    I guess they don’t approve of putting a raw egg in your milkshakes. Oh, well.

    • Creosote Achilles

      The vast majority of salmonella cases, at least when I was in the food manufacturing industry, were a result of improper food handling procedures in home kitchens. This is true of all types of food-borne illness. Dumbasses not washing their hands after handling raw chicken, or not properly cooking it. And most of the people who die from it or have to go to the hospital are young children, old people, and others with already compromised immune systems.

      • Sensei

        Hey stranger! Glad you were able to stop by. I recall you said work makes it difficult.

      • Nephilium

        Just watching people do things like rinse off their chicken or not keep an eye out for cross contamination explains a lot of food borne illnesses. With people not understanding safe temperature ranges for items (40 F – 140F is bad over a period of time).

    • Spudalicious

      You can pry my Whiskey Sour with a raw egg white from my cold, dead hands.

  19. The Late P Brooks

    Which is it? She sent the letter privately, or she sent it to the NYT?

    Oh, you know. It’s strictly in confidence. Just like when somebody says, “Just between you and me…” in a live televised interview.

  20. Evan from Evansville

    “Ihlan and Rashida hissed like wet cats.” My fave line. I’d love to make Ihlan Omar hiss. No way I’d be her first Hate Fuck. Her entire existence is a hate fuck.

    I interned at the Exotic Feline Rescue Center in Indiana, scores of lions, tigers, cougars, a couple bobcats, etc. Profound moment: One male was pounding his gal. I could feel him fucking her through the ground over 100′ away. Hawt violence. ‘Hawt’ here = ‘terrifying war fuck.’ She wasn’t actively displeased, but just took it as a chore ya ‘gotta’ do. Like taxes, laundry or breathing. (Or fucking your bro, if you’re Omar.)

  21. Necron 99

    I give up. Who is Sandy?

    • Ed Wuncler

      AOC

      • The Other Kevin

        The horse teeth was your clue.

      • Necron 99

        Thank you. Makes more sense now.

      • Necron 99

        The horse teeth was your clue.

        Yep, it’s been a long day, and I’m only halfway there.

    • R C Dean

      You may recall that she barely escaped being gang raped by J6ers, like so many others, on account of she was *checks notes* several blocks away at the time.

      • ZWAK, doktor of BRAIN SCIENCE!

        And she risked her precious VaJayJay to get to the boarder and see all the people behind chain link fences, too.

  22. Sensei

    Quick take EV crossover and put suspension lift, AT tires and add some black body components, cool seats and a spoiler.

    https://www.caranddriver.com/reviews/a60928996/2024-ford-mustang-mach-e-rally-drive/

    No, not that crossover – the one from Asia!

    https://www.theautopian.com/what-it-was-like-off-roading-the-hyundai-ioniq-5-xrt/

    Ford did it because they actually wanted to have a bit of fun and create some new interest in an existing product. Hyundai did it… because Ford did?

  23. The Late P Brooks

    The horse teeth was your clue.

    Not the supple rape-worthy body?

    • The Other Kevin

      That’s too vague, it could have referred to anyone from the purple-haired congressperson to the former head of HHS.

      • R C Dean

        Actually, TOK, no it couldn’t.

    • rhywun

      Dude.

    • Gender Traitor

      “When the necessary information was eventually provided, we found instances where the underlying information had been changed, specifically (Information Technology Service Management) workstation inventory data.”

      It’s not the original crime but the coverup that’ll get you every time.

      • UnCivilServant

        The worst part is how little this surprises me.

      • R C Dean

        “When the necessary information was eventually provided, we found instances where the underlying information had been changed”

        Out in the real world, that’s a failed audit and a blizzard of pink slips.

      • UnCivilServant

        Well, it was a failed audit.

        I doubt there will be any firings.

  24. ZWAK, doktor of BRAIN SCIENCE!

    Gun Uber is real, and it is fabulous!

    Nikita Bier
    @nikitabier
    Over the last few months, I’ve been advising
    @bookprotectors
    : a new app for ordering an on-demand security detail. Or more simply: Uber with guns.

    Today, they’re debuting in Los Angeles and NYC at No. 3 on the App Store.

    If you have a hot date this weekend, pick her up in a Protector.

    https://x.com/nikitabier/status/1891685562412675284

      • slumbrew

        Shit, I should let me cousin know – retired NYPD, lives in the city.

        He was driving a hedge fund guy for a while but the hours were too long. This might be more flexible.

    • EvilSheldon

      I mean yeah, the vast majority of personal security outfits exist only to show off the wealth and status of the people who hire them. Hence you have the celebs with the bodyguards carrying their luggage, etc.

  25. Mojeaux

    While Karen Carpenter has the most perfect voice God ever bestowed, Julie London is also exquisite.

    • rhywun

      The gal from Emergency?? Huh.

      • Mojeaux

        Yes. Her.

        Smoky alto, perfect vibrato (meaning, not too much).

  26. Sensei

    Cruel: Elon Musk Cuts Off Social Security Benefits For Thousands Of Revolutionary War Veterans

    https://babylonbee.com/news/cruel-elon-musk-cuts-off-social-security-benefits-for-thousands-of-revolutionary-war-veterans

    I’ve been enjoying reading the “real” media explaining to Musk that there are no 150 year old people collecting social security. The payments are set to stop automatically at age 115. Oddly they don’t seem particularly curious how man people between say, 100 to 115 are alive and collecting payments.

    • R C Dean

      “The payments are set to stop automatically at age 115.”

      Which is not the same thing as, no payments are made to anyone on their books who is over 115 years old.

      Of course, they are missing the point, and probably not intentionally because they’re not very bright. That point being, the SocSec database is a steaming pile of garbage, which makes it very vulnerable to fraud.

    • creech

      I suspect most fraud is coming from spouses who don’t report the death of the other spouse and keep those electronic payments coming into the joint account.

  27. Evan from Evansville

    Off to the doc. 157/97 at 133BPM at last check. My left hand tremors are up to my elbow, and my brain fears there’s some latent electricity in my right forearm. Would be a Big Red Flag. So far, so good. I kinda predict they may keep me for a bit. I am highly displeased. Obvious over-exaggeration, but it feels like someone’s taking me back to my concentration camp. (Dad’s driving. I’m wise enough not to ‘trust’ myself now.)

    Well. Wish me luck. Ha! Kroger just contacted me for a job! Unemployment (and living with my ‘rents) is the key stressor, I’m sure. TBI don’t help. Any regular job is all I need (for now). And it’s for Grocery Clerk and not a cashier! I’d rather not face people all day, but my legs also may need more consideration. I have officially noticed my hips’ decline. It isn’t outright pain, but something is noticing it. I’m noticing it now. Remarkable! I’m remarking upon it! Onward Upward always, no snark.

    • The Other Kevin

      Good luck! Hopefully you’ll get some quick answers.