About The Author

CPRM

CPRM

Organic troll farmer.

122 Comments

  1. rhywun

    OT… another goddamn Blue Screen of Death from watching that stupid Kermit the Frog Youtube in the deadthread and of course Winblows is no help whatsoever.

    OK what do we have here?

    • PutridMeat

      Blue Screen of Death from watching that stupid Kermit the Frog Youtube

      Freetube has ‘suddenly’ stopped working, so I assume youtube has deployed another weapon in the ad-war. Maybe their it’s breaking other stuff too.

      OK what do we have here?

      A foul-mouthed hat and faux-erudite toupee that live inside the fevered, diet coke addled swamp that is the mind of Donald Trump?

    • Rat on a train

      You would be praying for SMOD if you had to attend that commencement.

  2. Evan from Evansville

    Oh, dearie Space Force! Kinda interesting, considering Musk’s rise to advisor. It *is* fun hearing them speak the truth while having to muzzle any praise:

    “NASA reveals astronauts’ return ‘would not have happened’ without Trump’s intervention

    NASA is ready ‘get to work on the president’s ambitious space agenda’ after successful SpaceX rescue mission, spox says”

  3. Spudalicious

    Bravo! Excellent episode.

      • Fourscore

        Now I’m up to date on Current Events and can skip Fox News.

        Thanks, CPRM, as always topical and Melania’s appearance is a nice way to close out the evening.

      • The Artist Formerly Known as Lackadaisical

        Yes!

  4. Derpetologist

    The Space Force was and is a bad idea.

    ***
    “This is a dumb idea. The Air Force does this already. That is their job,” Mark Kelly tweeted in June, following Trump’s remarks. “What’s next, we move submarines to the 7th branch and call it the ‘under-the-sea force?'”

    Kelly reiterated that point yesterday.

    “There is a threat out there but it’s being handled by the US Air Force today,” he said during an MSNBC interview, according to Reuters. “[It] doesn’t make sense to build a whole other level of bureaucracy in an incredibly bureaucratic DoD.
    ***

    • Rat on a train

      “This is a dumb idea. The Army Air Forces does this already. That is their job.”

      • Derpetologist

        USMC and Coast Guard shouldn’t be separate branches either.

      • Rat on a train

        Coasties also aren’t DOD.

      • Derpetologist

        ***
        The Coast Guard is not a part of the U.S. Department of Defense (DOD). However, it is part of the United States Armed Forces. The Coast Guard is both a federal law enforcement agency and military branch within the Department of Homeland Security.
        ***

        [head desk]

        DHS is not quite as odious as the IRS or TSA, but they all need to go.

      • Gustave Lytton

        I remember when the Coast Guard was supposed to be transferred to the Dept of the Navy in wartime. That ship has sailed.

    • PutridMeat

      Holy crap, I agree with that cheese-doodle Mark Kelly about something.

    • R C Dean

      “There have been suspicious crumbs. I asked her about it, and I found out what he’s been doing: sharing food with her at school, including stuff he gets from that awful cafeteria. She knows that’s against the rules, and bad for her besides, but she says “it’s different when he shares with me.”

      That’s utter nonsense. Bad food is bad food,”

      That poor girl.

      • Sensei

        And Mom will be shocked when she turns into a “wild girl” when she gets older.

      • Fourscore

        Mom is lucky if that’s all she finds on daughter’s clothes.

      • rhywun

        Mom is lucky if that’s all she finds on daughter’s clothes.

        Yeah I tapped out & “crumbs” was not what I was expecting lol.

    • Sean

      Lame. Gay. Fake news.

      Shame on you.

    • rhywun

      I’ve made sure that she doesn’t have an account with the school cafeteria and instead I give her actually healthy lunches and snacks, mostly fruit and raw vegetables.

      lol Taps out early.

      If she’s that snotty maybe she could move to a “better” district.

      • Suthenboy

        The mom is Big Mike, isn’t he?

  5. Timeloose

    Space Hatty and Hickerson. Great ending.

  6. Derpetologist

    ***
    T-Mobile Home Internet is always priority level 9 (lowest priority) on T-Mobile’s network.

    That means that if T-Mobile’s network is under heavy load in your area you will be slowed down in order for T-Mobile to continue providing fast speeds to higher priority users.

    Likely a few days ago T-Mobile was under less load in your area than it is now.
    ***

    Seems others have been having the problems I’ve been having. Guess it wasn’t NSA after all. Well, probably not.

    Xfinity worked better for me on the whole. Boingo was good, and AT&T was the best.

    • Derpetologist

      My internet went out about a dozen times today. Most were at least an hour apart, but there was a cluster in the afternoon.

      The odd thing is, if I wait 10 minutes then push a menu button on the wifi gateway and reconnect, it starts working again. Same goes for turning it off and on again. I don’t want to wear out the power button, so I stopped doing that.

    • Rat on a train

      T-Mobile is just covering for the NSA.

      • Derpetologist

        My internet went out twice in the past hour. So annoying.

      • Derpetologist

        My internet went out again. 3rd time in about an hour.

        I think I have my retirement plan. The cheapest mobile home properties here are about $100k. In a paid-off house, I can live comfortably on $1.5k/month, which is less than the average social security benefit. I’ll wait til have stable income to make that move.

  7. hayeksplosives

    I cant even get on Zoom. Maybe I’m too early anyway.

    I’ll check back later.

    • Tonio

      There are ppl on the zoom now.

    • whahappan

      Tonio and I are on now, hopefully more will join.

    • Fourscore

      Yeah, I have seen her, though I don’t watch the financial news very much or often. Rather I look at the DOW at the end of the day. I’ve reached the point where I don’t get too concerned on a down day, unless it’s really significant.

      Selling when it’s down doesn’t make much sense, unless it’s ARK or something similar and then only to get out and go somewhere else. I’m in the process of selling some real estate, already (after 1-2 days) have had an offer. I’m not in a negotiating mood just yet, I’ll wait for a few weeks to see if the enthusiasm holds. “It’s my money and I……” I’m hoping for a bidding war.

      • creech

        Fourscore and some others of us can remember when the Dow struggled to break 1,000. I know folks who bailed at every dip along the way and didn’t get back in until the next bull was years old. Now the Dow is 42,000+. Those of us who rode it out have done well.
        I know dips are temporary but…the older one gets the more you fear you don’t have the time left to benefit from the inevitable bounce.

      • Gustave Lytton

        I remember Dow 10000 hype books.

    • Gustave Lytton

      I’m in the doghouse because my wife is sure she can pick and time stocks based on her intuition. Based on shit she hears on Fox News or podcasts. Broad index funds, boggle heads? I don’t know anything about money apparently.

      • slumbrew

        Having fully embraced the bogglehead way some time back, I find myself biting my tongue a lot with friends and family. Maybe a muttered “you can’t time the market” and “I’ve got this really good book you should read”

      • The Artist Formerly Known as Lackadaisical

        If there was ever anything worth fighting your wife over…

        If necessary move the money somewhere she can’t lose it. That’s straight up gambling.

      • The Artist Formerly Known as Lackadaisical

        …or agree on an amount you’re willing to lose to let her get it out of her system.

  8. Tonio

    Oh, it is the birthday of a very special Glib. No, not me. Someone more rare and exsquisite. On the zoomies now.

    • Rat on a train

      Mirror, mirror on the wall, who’s the rarest of them all?

    • rhywun

      I think I know who the fellow Aries is.

    • UnCivilServant

      Still wrongly decided.

      The correct decision is “The ATF lacks the constituional authority to regulate arms, as these have been removed from the purview of the Government by the 2nd amendment.”

  9. UnCivilServant

    Insanity… (Timestamp skips sponsor)

    Dude gets emotional though. Not sure if I really understand people who do this stuff, but I repespect the difficulty.

    I just wish the song itself had better vocals to go with the music.

    • rhywun

      I only know the South Park version of making fun of that stupid game.

      I’m not sure I can even respect the devotion to something so incredibly worthless. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
      Yeah we all waste time on shit, but… come on.

      • UnCivilServant

        Eh, I can respect dedication to a lot of objectively stupid shit.

      • rhywun

        I can respect dedication to a lot of objectively stupid shit

        lol Well sure you can.

        /JK

  10. Brochettaward

    Putting my tinfoil hat on for a moment, I have seen that the CIA was sending out messages about Signal being compromised earlier this month. This after the Biden administration seemingly made regular use of it (I’d pretty much guarantee sensitive and classified material was put on there under his administration).

    Then lo and behold, someone decides to add a reporter to a group chat of some of the highest officials in the country talking about a planned military strike on a foreign threat. A mistake that is so egregious and so obvious that it begs the question of how it was even made.

    Are we witnessing the opening shot in the intelligence agencies new war on Trump? We all know about the shit they pulled in the first administration. There’s no way in hell they are going to sit back and allow Trump to reshape America’s place in the world.

    The Trump administration fucked up, but it wouldn’t surprise me at all if the intelligence agencies weren’t aware of what was taking place and didn’t nudge someone into just accidentally adding a reporter from The Atlantic into that group chat.

    • Gustave Lytton

      IC or deep state.

      This is the first real incident to push Team Trump from offense to defense and not controlling the news cycle.

      Also, it highlights what idiots Team Trump are in private. Just like almost all politicians, staffers , and bureaucrats.

      • CPRM

        As I put in last night’s ded thred

        CPRM on March 26, 2025 at 3:23 am
        Too lazy to actually do it, but a photoshop text chain with all the Trump guys from that Signal message where they are talking about how they’d bang Gabbard only for her to chime in saying she was invited, and them denying it, that would be comedy GOLD right now

      • Gustave Lytton

        Do it!

        Once upon a time our infantry platoon did site security for a MI signals intercept group. A couple of the guys used unencrypted radios to bs between each other out of boredom in the towers. Well being in the pre-coed days, the talk drifted into usual locker room style calling one of the MI chicks his Nubian princess and more. This went on for a while until one day in the chow line, she mentions the Nubian princess remarks and they do signals intercept for a living. Oh shit moment for Pvt Pyle.

      • Rat on a train

        Infantry had poor comms discipline. It made it so easy to find and identify them. They also didn’t know how to handle MIJI activity.

      • The Artist Formerly Known as Lackadaisical

        ‘where they are talking about how they’d bang Gabbard’

        You’d have to be gay not to.

    • Sean

      It’s all coordinated bullshit. It’s not real. It’s a manufactured scandal and it makes me hate commies even more. Let’s see that Dem approval rating dip even more…

      • The Artist Formerly Known as Lackadaisical

        Honestly just doesn’t seem to be that big a deal.

        Like why are we even talking about it?

  11. Gustave Lytton

    “Let’s replace our perfectly functional stove with a new one made with crappy QC and connected bullshit! But it has a built in air fryer mode!”

    • Ted S.

      We got a new toaster oven when we moved into the new house two years ago. We already had to replace it because the spring on the door broke.

      • The Artist Formerly Known as Lackadaisical

        Maybe get a new spring?

    • Common Tater

      They’re adding wifi to everything now.

      • Rat on a train

        I need internet alerts about toilet status.

      • The Artist Formerly Known as Lackadaisical

        ‘I need internet alerts about toilet status.’

        That’s actually a better use case than most other things.

        Who wouldn’t want an alert if their toilet was running without them knowing it, leaking or overflowing?

        Great idea!

      • slumbrew

        I need internet alerts about toilet status.

        I remember when this was a savage parody – now it’s a totally believable product.

    • Ownbestenemy

      Isnt air fryer mode… just convection? Or they trying to pretend its a new feature?

      • Gustave Lytton

        Possibly? I haven’t had time to look at the specs for some shit we really don’t need and will be worse than what we already have.

      • Common Tater

        Mine has air fryer and convection. The convection is OK, but it’s not constant like a commercial oven. The air fryer thing seems like bullshit, but I haven’t tried it much.

    • Gender Traitor

      Good morning, Sean, U, and Ted’S.!

      • UnCivilServant

        It is morning, but I am doing poorly so far.

      • Gender Traitor

        I’m sorry. What’s wrong? 😟

      • UnCivilServant

        After my nap managed to run six hours last afternoon, I was unable to get back to sleep and now I’m in such a shitty mood that I almost flipped out at the thought of someone having taken my parking spot during the brief time it took me to run to the store to restock on caffiene. It turned out that they had merely parked facing the wrong way on the opposite side of the street, but the way things lined up it looked different.

        I’ve been snapping at inanimate objects and media, and trying not to do so towards people. Still trying to figure out how to get myself centered again. At least it’s a remote day so I don’t risk snapping at coworkers.

      • Gender Traitor

        That sucks. 😞 I hope it gets better from here.

      • UnCivilServant

        🤞

        How goes things with you?

      • Gender Traitor

        OK so far. Got a bunch of folks from other credit unions coming to our office for a meeting. That meeting’s organizer has arranged for box lunches for them AND for everyone in our building, which is nice. I’m just worried that they’ll all arrive and assume we always have gallons of coffee ready, which we don’t. Worst case, though, I guess I just run around the block to Tim Horton’s for one or two of their jugs.

        Best of all, though, I get to leave early for a hair appointment. 👩‍🦰

      • Common Tater

        Morning 🙂

      • Gender Traitor

        Good morning, Tater! How are you doing? 🙂

      • Common Tater

        I’m OK. Like UCS I couldn’t sleep and woke up way too early.

    • Rat on a train

      We should have sprung forward a day.

    • UnCivilServant

      Kafka did not want his work published.

      Kathy has taken it as an instruction manual.

    • Common Tater

      “Hochul announced the proposed changes Monday during a roundtable of survivors of domestic violence, advocates and local district attorneys to discuss the state’s commitment and investments in combating domestic violence and supporting survivors. In announcing the changes, Hochul said they were essential to ensure that abusers are held accountable to the fullest extent of the law.”

      Domestic violence laws are already bullshit.

      • Rat on a train

        Why do they put victims through a trial? They shouldn’t have to relive their trauma. Go straight to sentencing.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        Choo Choo…all aboard for the railroading!

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      “co-founder and CEO of queer-owned cannabis brand Cann”

      How is queer owned pertinent information? Get fucked article writer.

      • Common Tater

        Especially since “queer” doesn’t mean anything.

  12. Tres Cool

    suh’ fam
    whats goody

    • Sensei

      It’s no problem they’ve already released from the strategic stockpile.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      And the comments are 90 percent about the Signal stuff. Either astroturfed or whoever’s commenting there can’t stay focused for shit.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        That being said, the B-2s are just dickswinging.

  13. UnCivilServant

    Why does Excel think that just because I have changed window focus, I no longer care what I had highlighted in the spreadsheet?

    I’m using that highlight to help my eyes find where I left off dealing with the data.

  14. Fourscore

    Good Morning to all y’all early birds,

    A funeral on tap for this morning, a girl cousin (85 years old).

    I had 11 maternal cousins plus 2 brothers. now only 3 cousins (and me) left, 2 boys and 1 girl.

    • Gender Traitor

      Good morning, 4(20). I’m sorry that’s what’s on your schedule today. I hope you can at least have a pleasant visit with your relatives.

      • Sensei

        +1. Sorry to read that.

    • Rat on a train

      It makes it easier to get through the TSA checkpoint.

  15. Beau Knott

    In light of my recent travails, and in celebration of reaching my GoFundMe goal, a song with lyrics worth remembering:
    I Am.
    Cheers!

    • Ownbestenemy

      Glad to hear. Good luck with your procedure(s) and keep us informed!

      • Beau Knott

        Thanks! I’ll definitely keep you all updated. I’m hoping for it to be boring lol

      • Tres Cool

        Remeber to believe.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Boring is underrated.

    • Gender Traitor

      They’re less likely to get sent back to the U.S.?

      • Common Tater

        Maybe, but generally people get deported back to their own country.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Isn’t V refusing to take them back as deportees? Probably costs a lot less per head in El Salvador plus it makes Trump look tough politically. I can’t say I care for the precedent it sets though.

      • Common Tater

        “The deal to keep Tren de Aragua deportees at CECOT was struck in February between Secretary of State Marco Rubio and Bukele. El Salvador is charging the US a “relatively low” fee for the usage, Rubio has said, though the number has not been disclosed.”

        I would think dumping them on an airstrip in Venezuela would cost even less, and what could Venezuela do about it? Try to shoot down the planes?

      • Common Tater

        “A group of 199 Venezuelan migrants deported from the United States arrived on Monday after the two countries reached an agreement to restart flights, Venezuelan Interior Minister Diosdado Cabello said…

        The United States sent the deportees first to Honduras, where they were picked up by Venezuelan state airline Conviasa and arrived in Caracas at 1 a.m. local time. The United States does not deport migrants directly to Venezuela due to the strained diplomatic relationship between the two countries.”

        https://www.usnews.com/news/world/articles/2025-03-24/venezuela-receives-hundreds-of-deported-migrants-from-us-after-flights-restart

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