“Bitch, you know I don’t play!” Jasmine screamed, reaching for Sandy’s hair. “Imma rip dat wig offa yo head!”
Sandy screamed as Jasmine tore at her hair.
“Drop the act, Jas,” Rashida said, looking over the tiny screen of her beeper.
“It’s fun,” Jasmine said, letting go of Sandy. “I love playing ghetto for the saps and suckers.”
“Supsuckers?” Sandy asked dully, examining a chunk of her hair that Jasmine handed to her. IIhan hissed.
“Pulling off wigs is an integral part of Black America culture,” Jasmine said. “I wrote a paper about it in college.”
“Black Wigs Matter,” Ayanna said, her bald head moisturized shiny.
“Damn, girl!” Jasmine said, slipping back into African-American Vernacular English, “Someone done snatched yo wig!”
“I have alopecia,” Ayanna said drily.
Jasmine shook herself like a wet dog. “Ugh. It’s so hard to code-switch.”
“Code-switch?” Sandy asked, trying to put her torn-out hair back on her head.
“Stupid dog,” IIhan muttered under her breath.
“Code-switching is something unique to African cultures,” Ayanna said. “It is protective mimicry, designed to make ignorant trash mayo-monkies feel comfortable.”
“They want to kill us,” Jasmine said, clapping.
“So you talk different to different people?” Sandy asked. “Like how I talk different to my boyfriend than I do my abuela?”
“No, that doesn’t count,” Jasmine snapped. “Only we get to code-switch, it’s ours.”
“Huh,’ Sandy said.
“It’s just different,’ Jasmine said. “You barely pass the paper bag test.”
“I’m sorry,” Sandy said, distraught. “Don’t kick me out. The Squad is all I have!”
“Just know your place,” Ayanna said sternly, and pointed around the room. “It’s me, then Jasmine, then Ilhan, then Rashida, then you.”
“You might as well be white,” Rashida said, her beeper buzzing ominously.
“I’m not white,” Sandy sobbed. “I can’t be!”
“Alopecia?” Rashida asked. “So no hair, like at all?”
Ayanna nodded.
“Even…” Rashida ventured.
“As smooth as a jellyfish,” Ayanna said, smiling.
“Can I see?” Rashida asked.
Ayanna shrugged and said, ”Sure.” She moved her hand to the zipper of her skirt and it fell.
“Wow,” Rashida said. “It is smooth.”
“Can I touch it?” Sandy asked.
“Never touch a Black woman’s hair!” Jasmine screeched.
“But…” Sandy started.
“Even if she doesn’t have any!” Jasmine said.
“I was just asking,” Sandy sulked.
Jasmine pointed dramatically at Sandy, DMV claws flexing, “Don’t make me flip my Black-switch!”
“Code-switch?” Sandy asked.
“It’s a different thing!” Jazz said, changing to her stripper name. She was Blackening by the second.
She was Blackening by the second.
The Blackening. Awesome.
Jazz said, changing to her stripper name.
Barf.
To be honest, I found it mildly amusing
Texas Gov. Greg Abbott (R), appearing on Fox New’s “Hannity” on Tuesday, generally waved off the “Governor Hot Wheels” insult Rep. Jasmine Crockett (R-Texas) lobbed at him over the weekend that’s been seen as mocking his use of a wheelchair.
“It’s another day and another disaster by the Democrats,” Abbott told host Sean Hannity. “The reality is, they have no vision, no policy.”
“They have nothing to sell but hate,” he added, without directly addressing his wheelchair use or the phrase Crockett used.
I also think it’s amusing that she is getting a little taste of her own victimhood medicine.
If he doesn’t immediately order a new nameplate for his desk that says Governor “Hot Wheels” Abbot, I will be severely disappointed.
Would flame decals for his chair suffice?
I recommended that last post. He really needs some Hot Wheels decals on that chair.
There is a guy named “Aaron Wheelz” who is in a wheelchair and does Evel Kneival-like super jumps. He has a whole series of Hot Wheels wheelchairs. These people are so behind the times.
https://www.amazon.com/Hot-Wheels-Ride-Ons-Fotheringham-Wheelie/dp/B0846YR5Y1
And naturally TOK sledges support!
Watch out, we might get an icy stare for these comments.
*Narrows gaze*
“…DMV claws…”
I laughed. I must be punished for my internalized racism.
But is it? The clerks around here are white or hispanic. And I could picture instantly that curled resting grasp from counter work.
Now I have a new way to describe those monstrosities
Seriously though, why is that a thing?
It’s like untanned skin for aristocrats in the Middle Ages: they indicate you don’t actually do any work.
Good analogy.
DMV claws
Nice.
After intense backlash, Crockett denied that the insult was in reference to Abbott’s wheelchair use.
“At no point did I mention or allude to his condition,” the Democratic firebrand wrote on social media. “I wasn’t thinking about the governor’s condition.”
Stupid honkeys, twisting her perfectly innocent words.
Even if she doesn’t have any!
[chef’s kiss]
I thought it was gonna go all NC-17 at that point.
A new rung on the Fap Challenge scale.
“This one goes to 11.”
A new rung on the Fap Challenge scale.
I dunno, I was busy re, ah, tooling my youporn search terms.
Will Smith would have slapped Sandy.
,em>“I’m not white,” Sandy sobbed. “I can’t be!”
The curse of white-ness. Nobody wants that.
Except on Parent-Teacher Conference Day at school?
* I go to the box, you know. Two minutes, by myself, you know and I feel shame, you know. And then I get free.*
Code-Switch is a regular feature on NPR:
https://www.npr.org/podcasts/510312/codeswitch
There is also MTV Decoded, if you really want a ham-fisted message.
It really does take NPR to take a perfectly useful tool for social interaction and wrap it up in a bunch of class struggle nonsense…
The first time someone explained code switching to me, I went “Oh, like you’d change wordings between a business and a personal setting?” And was immediately told that was completely different, because blacks HAD to do it to fit in with the broader culture.
Every sentence of the podcast description makes it sound worse than the previous sentence.
Ha, yup.
“Code Switch was named Apple Podcasts’ first-ever Show of the Year in 2020.”
lol Because of course it was.
This sounds like a good time.
It sounds like The View only even more tedious.
Brought Mom for a massage for her (not all that serious) lymphedema.
Best decision I’ve made in 3 months.
What? Sentence fragments from someone who normally writes complete ones?
Behold the glory of code-switching!
Gaze in awe, y’all, as I effortlessly switch to contractions and slang!
They aren’t sentence fragments.
[I] (subj) brought (v) Mom (obj) for (prep) a (art) massage (n) for (prep) her (poss n) lymphedema (obj).
Just because I left off the [I] doesn’t make it a fragment, as it’s implied because I’m referring to myself, and can be diagrammed thusly.
[It] (subj) [was] (v) [the] (art) best (adj) decision (obj) I (sub) ‘ve made (v) in (adv) three (adj) months (obj).
Again, implied subject (and verb) in this case does not make it a sentence fragment. Implied parts are diagrammed as being present. (Source: 400-level diagramming course in college.)
A sentence fragment is something that needs a whole ‘nother whole sentence to make it make sense, and/or a period where a comma, semicolon, or colon would go:
That should have had a comma after “voice,” not a period; then it would have been fine.
That is the most Mojeaux comment I’ve ever seen. You’re sounding more like yourself today, hope you’re doing well.
😂
I’m fine. I need a massage and a quiet day in an art gallery.
🤔
Gallery/massage parlor combo?
::imagines paintings, prints, etc. gliding by on a moving “sidewalk” (such as you find in large airports) under the face hole in the massage table::
Hmm, revolting but not quite on par with Brezhnev French-kissing Honecker:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Socialist_fraternal_kiss
Nixon said Brezhnev was handsy, so I guess the commy version of Biden.
The commie version of Biden was Biden.
Biden, the American Brezhnev.
He ain’t got the eyebrows fer it!
He ain’t got the eyebrows fer it!
He used to, but now that’s his hairline.
That picture was used in a chewing gum ad when I lived in the former Ostblok.
“Bitch, you know I don’t play!” Jasmine screamed, reaching for Sandy’s hair. “Imma rip dat wig offa yo head!”
Relevant:
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ptEzeGpWo7k
Off Topic – I just love it when, after three instructional copypastas, the tech still hasn’t read anything I’ve put in a ticket. We started by explaining how we’ve already done the steps covered in the copypasta and proven that was working, then added some more information about the odd behavior their product was giving us, then detailed the changes when we used a different version of their product, each time outlining how we determined that we have already dealt with everything covered in their copypasta, and got a response a bot would be embarassed by.
I know front line techs are entry level positions, but seriously.
Some are quicker to get acclimated to the bureaucracy.
These are private sector techs. They can be fired.
lulz
Lifestyles of the rich and useless
Prince Harry has resigned as a patron of the African charity he founded in the memory of his late mother, after a fallout between the trustees and the chairperson.
Set up in 2006, Sentebale was created to help young people in the southern African nations of Lesotho and Botswana in areas of health, including HIV and AIDS, as well as wealth inequity and climate resilience.
——-
Without naming Chandauka, Harry and Seeiso said Sentebale’s trustees had asked the charity chair to step down, “while keeping the wellbeing of staff in mind.” They did not elaborate why the chair had been asked to step down from their position.
In turn, the chair sued the charity “to remain in this voluntary position, further underscoring the broken relationship,” their statement said.
Defending her position, Chandauka said in a statement Wednesday that Sentebale was “not a vanity project from which I can resign when I am called to account,” adding that she must “focus on fundraising.”
“Beneath all the victim narrative and fiction that has been syndicated to press is the story of a woman who dared to blow the whistle about issues of poor governance, weak executive management, abuse of power, bullying, harassment, misogyny, misogynoir — and the coverup that ensued,” she said.
What will the folx at Davos say?
misogynoir
Miso what?
mis- women who are black
You can’t make this up.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Misogynoir
Freakin’ literalists – how do you not recognize a “miso” set up for some punnery?
Also note from the wiki that it is specifically pointed at black male misogyny. And of course it dates all the way back to 2008. [rolls eyes like Neymar rolling on the soccer pitch]
Well, technically, they did make it up. The Oppression Olympics oversaw the creation of quite a few nonsense words: genderqueer, demi-sexual, folx, Latinx, otherkin, female voter…
Feel free to soup up your own comments.
I’m still shocked how the hell the fancy French wound up in the nonsense word.
Well, apparently black feminist writer Moya Bailey can.
Then what does misohorny mean?
@Jaime – that’s a soy-keratin blend used in southeast asian medicine.
Shpip is apparently busy.
Jacque Derrida scowls at you.
Miso horrrrrny!
Me luv you long time!
More insight here from the BBC and its best foreign language service.
Why Prince Harry dey quit di Sentebale charity wey e set up in Diana honour
Love that honour still retains its unnecessary “u”.
Play stupid games win stupid prizes.
Taiwan deports a Chinese woman for praising Beijing’s military ambitions to conquer the island
How did the US Judges allow this to happen?!?
Taiwan seems to more highly value self preservation it would seem.
Well, then staring down a massive Maoist insurgency which has vowed the destruction of the real China, they have to be.
From you mouth the The Bee’s ears. They’ve already reported that a judge ordered those astronauts back to the space station.
*Polite applause
Crimes most foul
More than 20 former and current female staffers cooperated with investigators, per documents obtained by ESPN. One of the investigators called Taylor’s treatment towards a compliance officer “inappropriate, discriminatory on the basis of her sex,” and that Taylor sought “her removal from her assigned duties” for bringing up minor Level III violations.
“I willingly complied with the investigations, accepted the recommendations that came out of them, and used them as a learning opportunity to grow in leadership and how I interact with others,” Taylor said in a statement. “I look forward to continuing to work collaboratively and collegially with my colleagues so that we can achieve success for our football program together.”
Stanford first looked into Taylor’s conduct in May 2023, per ESPN, when athletic staffer mentioned potential gender discrimination issues to athletic director Bernard Muir, who is set to resign after the current academic year. Senior associate athletics director Matt Doyle also received a warning in February 2024 as a result of the first investigation.
Use your imagination. Indulge your most lurid fantasies.
My imagination says this had nothing to do with his dismissal…
Taylor posted a 6-18 record in two seasons
““Drop the act, Jas,” Rashida said, looking over the tiny screen of her beeper.”
Beautiful.
Let the jokes begin.
Steph Curry and Michelle Obama team up to create a sports drink
Are the Obamas having money troubles, or are they really trying to up Michelle’s profile for a presidential run?
She’s not running. She’s grifting. And there’s millions of dollars involved.
Given how little public attention the efforts have yielded, I’m not sure there’s much money from these efforts.
UCS:
Michelle’s getting paid, why does she care if the public pays attention?
That library ain’t paying for itself.
@Mr Ilium: Is she? If she can’t deliver anything for the moneymen, the spigot will soon get turned off, especially with the funding crunch from ongoing federal issues.
UCS:
Well, if she’s getting paid to create a sports drink, she’s still getting paid.
If they don’t move units, any money that might come from such a collaboration will be gone fast.
After all, there’s not much expertise she actually brings to that table, just name recognition.
Booty Sweat?
lemon lime, tropical punch or orange mango twist?
It depends on what Big Mike ate that day.
Barry hopes pineapple
PLEZi, which translates to joy and fun in Haitian Creole
I’m going to guess that Curry and Robinson are not Haitian Creole names.
It is really just some GOAT Curry.
If he doesn’t immediately order a new nameplate for his desk that says Governor “Hot Wheels” Abbot, I will be severely disappointed.
Yes. He should get some stickers for his chair, too.
Are the Obamas having money troubles
Performative “statesmanship” ain’t cheap.
“…her beeper buzzing ominously…”
I would assume she disposed of hers by now.
Miso what?
Misogynoir- you know, that extra-odious misogyny aimed specifically at black women. Ten thousand times worse than hating on the white wimmenz.
And I thought I was being facetious.
There is a guy named “Aaron Wheelz” who is in a wheelchair and does Evel Kneival-like super jumps. He has a whole series of Hot Wheels wheelchairs. These people are so behind the times.
Is he part of Nitro Circus? I notice they have a couple of wheelchair stunt artists in their promos.
Looks like yes, that’s him. He may not have working legs but clearly he’s got balls.
Finally I can sit down.
“Drop the act, Jas.”
Is anyone buying the jive-ass hood rat act? Is that what the democrat party thinks will bring back voters? Wow. Either her or the hardcore communists?
I did say a year ago what we are looking at is the death of the party. It is an ugly thing.
I mean, she has won big elections before.
Dipshits voting for fake dipshits might be the core function of our Republic.
Hillary “wasn’t in no ways tahrd”, look how well that worked out for her.
“My fellow Americans. Lay ’em down, and yak ’em smack ’em!”
A phoenix named Shapiro has a decent chance to resurrect a Democrat party that can take on the GOP once enough voters get tired of Trump’s shit.
Newsom 2.0 sounds sane too.
https://www.mlive.com/news/2025/03/doge-cuts-credit-cards-nearly-300000-deactivated.html
DOGE cuts credit cards: Nearly 300,000 deactivated
Nearly 300,000 government credit cards have been canceled as part of Elon Musk’s mission to cut federal spending by $1 trillion, Newsweek reports.
Musk’s Department of Government Efficiency, a task force created with an executive order signed by President Donald Trump, announced Monday that the “unused and unneeded cards” were deactivated, the report said.
They need to move on to the cards that are being used.
Again with the “Musk ordered this”, “Musk mandated that”.
He is there to recommend, the media.
You’re not wrong there. Several of our cards $2500/monthly limit, $100 single purchase were cut cause our purchases for what we do are far and few between, but it just means we move onto the larger card holder.
For now the word is…its gone, for those that had one. Which does put us into a red-tape hell of finding someone who can get what we need down at the local Lowes.
Normally I hear bald bunny but smooth as a jellyfish just worked so much better
It is descriptive in so many horrifying ways.
Are jellyfish smooth? I’ve never touched one. I’d think they’d be covered with tiny stinging hairs. Like the Gympie-gympie tree.
Are you implying that she’s prickly?
@NA – It depends on A: the species, and B: which end. The outside of the bell for most classical jellyfish (those that come to mind when the word is used colloquially) are smooth.
Thanks to Archer… veal cutlet.
I took the online practice tests for Jeopardy! and got almost perfect scores. I think I should take the official qualifying test soon.
You can try yourself here: https://www.jeopardy.com/be-on-j/practice-tests
It’s just not the same anymore. They should have ended when Alex died.
It went downhill long before he died, with all the jokey questions and too many celebrities and such.
It was still the point where they had a graceful out.
I’ll take penis mightier for 800, Trebek.
You will let us know when your episode is broadcast. I’ll find a TV somewhere.
It’s a longshot, but those are my specialty.
https://screenrant.com/jeopardy-champions-biggest-winners-ranked/
It seems many of the top dogs had to try out multiple times before they got on the show.
A six-figure payday would make my life easier.
Good luck. A buddy of mine won some serious money on the collegiate Wheel of Fortune. Paid for his med school.
I bailed after 20 questions or so. I know I got a lot of them right but not enough. I think I was better at that game when I was a kid.
Obligatory (not that you will lose, Derp):
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BvUZijEuNDQ
Gah. Better?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SQEl_-Gpsio
NOT sugar free:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7MuQsH3gi5s
https://x.com/LauraLoomer/status/1904904102917570900
Insanity.
Wong address. Easy mistake.
Literally Chinese (nationals) or “Chinese enough for Laura Loomer”?
Nelson is US born, no idea about the wife. Their connections to US commies is way more concerning.
OTH, Now, you want me to drive to Texarkana, pick up 400 cases of Coors and come back in 28 hours. No problem.
Police looking for more suspects after multiple Corvettes stolen from GM Assembly Plant
The estimated amount for all 8 vehicles is $1.2 million.
Corvettes are $150 grand now?
Yes.
The dealer where I bought my Versa last Thanksgiving had one in the show room. Sticker price was in excess of 100k.
He may have chosen the high end ones. The base is like $70k. I’m sure they produce like 5 of those so they claim they are available.
today I learned:
***
Social Justice was a topical political periodical published by Father Charles Coughlin from 1936 to 1942.[1]
History
Social Justice was controversial for printing antisemitic polemics such as The Protocols of the Elders of Zion. Coughlin claimed that Marxist atheism in Europe was a Jewish plot against America.
***
I guess “social justice” is just another one of those Humpty Dumpty phrases like “fair share” and “hate speech”.
Assuming that’s an official Squad Comic:
Of course that’s the art style. Of course it is.
Rebecca Sugar and CalArts sausage mouth?
https://th.bing.com/th/id/OIP.dsORjgV0EmlFawQdC0K92AHaDr?rs=1&pid=ImgDetMain
also
https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/001/374/448/cbd.png
Assuming you are referring to the image at the top that girl has some serious man-hands.
https://www.thedrive.com/news/32-year-old-truck-sells-for-226000-i-thought-we-were-done-with-this
$226k
*falls out of chair*