Six
Forest, the Aggruder homestead
“Daddy!”
Jenny’s urgent hiss stopped Paul Aggruder dead in the cabin doorway.
“What is it, Jenny-pie?”
“There’s a roc coming this way, Daddy! Get inside and shut the door!”
Paul did so, quietly latching the plank door. He walked to the east-facing window Jenny was watching from.
The dinosaur-sized predator was strolling slowly in from the fern prairies to the east. It’s massive, eagle-like head turned slowly from side to side as it walked, showing its razor-sharp meter-long beak.
“Amazing how quiet they are, isn’t it?” Paul whispered. “Jenny, go get your Mom, both of you get down on our bedroom floor and lie still. I’ll keep an eye on our friend here.”
Jenny complied quickly. The drill was well rehearsed by now. This was the fifth time a roc had sauntered past the cabin, following the little creek as it looked for the bosers that formed the great bird’s habitual prey.
Paul Aggruder watched as the massive predator strode towards the house, walking almost silently on its wide, spreading, three-toed taloned feet. The roc was a big male, with a wide crest of scarlet feathers on the back of his head.
I should have bought the big Parks rifle the Company recommended, Paul thought to himself. If only that terminal for Jenny’s cyber-school hadn’t been so expensive!
The roc walked up to the edge of the planted fields and lowered his head, peering curiously at the disturbed ground. Uttering a series of small squawks, it followed the edge of the cornfield for a few meters, and then raised its massive head to look directly at the cabin.
“Oh, shit!” Paul lowered himself slowly, quietly to the floor, and scuttled backwards away from the window, crawling under the rough table he’d made from planks.
A heavy sound of breathing grew slowly louder as the roc walked up to the tiny house, lowering its head finally to peer in the window with one eye. Paul crouched behind a table leg, trying to remain perfectly still as his heart hammered in his chest. A fetid smell of rotting meat wafted into the room from the great carnivore’s breath.
A groan from the cabin wall startled Paul. The roc had placed its huge beak on the wall and was pushing, gently. The boards creaked and groaned as the massive bird leaned on the wall.
Then, suddenly, the vast predator seemed to lose interest. Turning swiftly on one great, taloned foot, it raised its head and strode swiftly away to the west.
Paul scuttled to the west-facing window and watched as the giant bird disappeared finally over a rise two kilometers away.
“You can come out now – it’s gone,” he called.
“What are you going to do if one of those things walks in when you’re out in the field, Paul?”
“Run for the trees! They’re too big to get around in the woods.”
Andrea Aggruder gave her husband a skeptical look.
“Well, maybe I should start keeping my rifle closer at hand.”
“You might as well throw spitballs,” Andrea snapped. “That one was as big as a tyrannosaurus, Paul!”
“OK, I’ll start digging another field, Andrea. I should be able to plant enough to trade for one of the big Parks doubles. Those are supposed to be able to handle a roc, OK? That’s all we can do for now.” Paul Aggruder went to his wife, laying one arm around her shoulders. “Honey, that’s only the fifth one in over a year. There aren’t that many of them around.”
“Well, I’ll feel better when you get a bigger rifle.”
“See why I’m teaching Jenny to shoot?” Paul chided his wife.
Sucks, not being the top of the food chain.
Temporarily. The man has a plan (and I still suspect a certain young hunter is incoming to the area soon to woo Jenny after he flips her a bird).
The rocs will likely start to learn to avoid signs of humankind in the future.
Do they taste like chicken?
Better than tasting like tastee-wheat.
I want to see this double rifle that will knock over a trex-sized predator…
Here you go.
I was thinking more like a surplus M79 with M433 HEDP rounds, but it strikes me that a heavy double rifle has the advantage that you can reload ammo for it easily and cheaply. Probably important in a frontier environment with a limited industrial base and sketchy resupply…
This man has a gun that could take out a T Rex. Live demonstration.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=MrslcxTszV0
Yeah, but that Anderson Wheeler is pretty…
Now, that’s a proper big game sporting rifle.
Not for much longer, apparently:
Shouldn’t be surprised I guess, everything else keeps getting more and more stupid.
Initially, Elmer was a wildlife photographer, but Bugs tormented him to the point where he went insane and became determined to kill the wabbit.
I was thinking something like this:
https://www.boone-crockett.org/punt-gun-and-race-save-americas-wildlife
Except not using bird shot.
https://contact-kalia.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/08/11-3.jpg
It’s recoilless too!
I’m pretty sure that a spacefaring civilization can put a thingummy in the rifle that redirects all of the force that would be recoil back into the projectile, not to mention internal barrel surface coatings and probably an inertial damper that makes the projectile effectively massless as long as it’s being accelerated inside said barrel.
Even if they do have such tech, building and maintaining it locally might be a problem.
Relevant
What’s he going to do if the roc feels no pain?
Get a contract as its agent and have it star in endless Jumanji and Moana sequels?
I wish people would read what I put in tickets. I do try to give them the information they need, but invariably, I get emails asking questions that are answered in the ticket. Yet, I am not allowed to say “Just read what I already wrote”
I’m sorry, UCS — what did you say?
Hey… could you give us your opinion on repeating yourself via email? I don’t think you’ve ever written about that….
I needed to vent in a place where I wouldn’t look less professional than I already do.
Since you guys really can’t think much less of me, I decided here was good.
Vent away good sir — I just couldn’t resist a little light hearted teasing back.
But on your topic — yeah, been there. Though typically I do find a way to specifically cite the sections of the defect / ticket / whatnot where I said what the answer to their question is as a slightly passive aggressive “You didn’t read this at all, did you?” nudge.
If I couldn’t take it, I wouldn’t have stuck around.
SDF-7:
If it’s someone I really dislike, I’ll include “As stated previously:” before quoting the previous e-mail back at them.
Having raised two kids, UCS, I totally understand…
@Mr Ilium – I can’t break that out until at least a few back and forths.
RTF
MT!But, when trying to get someone to sign off on a change, I have to be diplomatic. Otherwise it’s a bigger headache for me.
I’ve already been working this problem for over a month.
I feel like you’re talking to me.
Are you listed on the ticket?
Oh, is it that ticket I got an email about last week but I ignored?
SLD: Games you play in a bar should not have sex-segregated divisions.
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/sport/othersports/article-14577879/Piers-Morgan-leads-outrage-two-transgender-players-contest-final-womens-pool-competition-Sharron-Davies-labels-event-grossly-wrong-way.html
Given the position one must assume when making a shot, I’m guessing the women’s tournament attracts more spectators.
If a lithe female is assuming her position for a shot, I’ll assume mine here at my desk.
Meeting my standards, I graciously accept her ministrations as she polishes my cue balls.
Now it’s just the male division and the guys in dresses division.
“Pool” as in pocket billiards? I was expecting a swimsuit competition. And, of all the “sports” I can think of, pool would be about the least likely to suffer from substantial male advantage.
I’m struggling to find some biological advantage as well.
Pool, darts, mini-shuffleboard, PAC-MAN, poker… pretty much all* bar games would seem to not lend themselves to physical advantage
*except for hammerschlagen which isn’t played in US bars.
Height and reach.. They say as much in the article. Even Darts, the men’s long arms start the throw that much closer to the dartboard.
Are there women as tall as the winning men? Sure, but over the general pool of players it is a statical advantage.
Very few sports (Equestrian, Sailing, Motor racing, some shooting sports) have only 1 division. Time and social preference has shown a reason for the separate women’s division.
I was expecting an answer about men having more practice playing with balls but I will accept the good Doctor’s response.
Even Olympic sailing is segregated. It might be possible for a woman to compete in the men’s divisions, and I know in the past some have done so, but there are separate women’s classes.
I dunno TOK, I’m sure Jeanette Lee could have had all the time she could want to practice with balls.
Freaking chess has a women’s division.
These are a lot of fun. I particularly enjoy the world you’ve created, as it tickles my dinosaur+ fascination.
“A fetid smell of rotting meat wafted into the room from the great carnivore’s breath.” –> I imagine many /most of us know that stench. The fiercest outbreak in my life: Interning at Exotic Feline Rescue Center and working with lions, tigers and other large cats, we kept ~5,000lbs of meat in our outdoor fridge, about the size of a triple-wide refrigerator.
Unnoticed, the power went out on one humid June day. The next time I came to ‘work,’ the meat had thoroughly soiled. Meat Shed’s walls were practically flexing from the pungent odor’s mass’ push.[Insert euphemism here.] I was tasked with removing the rancorous flesh, carrying slabs off to be burned. Ribs, legs and torsos were partitioned separately. ‘Dem lucky cats.
That stench cannot be erased. Profoundly powerful, in the ‘hits you in the gut’ sense. Certainly the only time I’ve experienced it on such a grand scale, but I can distinctly place that smell once it presents itself.
Helluva thing a first impression. You only get one of ’em.