Monday Afternoon Links

by | Aug 22, 2022 | Daily Links | 253 comments

 

Is the world filled with fools, dolts, poltroons, morons and such? Let us see what we can find out by some observation…

  • The Return of the “Tongue Troopers” in Quebec?
  • Election denier!!!!!
  • I am sure this will be completely fair, just and not at all an election pander.
  • OK, this isn’t stupid, it is kind of cool.

So not completely stupid, just mostly stupid. The comments are all yours.

About The Author

Swiss Servator

Swiss Servator

Currently serving at the pleasure of a Swiss multinational. Previously a Soldier, rugby player, lawyer, bouncer, bartender, substitute teacher, risk manager, and cubicle mushroom. Will work for raclette.

253 Comments

  1. Count Potato

    “Let us go see how dumb the world is…”

    There is no peak retard.

    • SDF-7

      That’s what I mumble to myself when compilation fails due to a stupid mistake I should have caught…..

      • Count Potato

        “UK Names Rotherham As Inaugural ‘Children’s Capital Of Culture’”

        OFFS!!

      • Tonio

        FYTW!

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        It’s like they’re fucking with us.

      • WTF

        It’s exactly what they’re doing, they’re shoving your face in it as in “1984” in order to demoralize you.

      • Bobarian LMD

        No, they want to fuck our kids.

        Literally.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        What in the actual fuck….

        Now they’re just rubbing everyone’s noses in it.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        You know what else causes an immune response?

        A cynical person might think that they are trying to give everyone autoimmune disorders.

      • slumbrew

        You know what else causes an immune response?

        High-speed lead injections?

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Maybe you get chitin antibodies, and that’s good right? The CDC thinks more antibodies are definitely a good thing.

      • Drake

        Maybe there’s an RNA shot for that?

      • SDF-7

        Nah — you need to have your cells modified to produce extra chitin, that’s the only proper way to train your immune system. Pfizer will have a vaccine soon, the FedGov already promised them $700 billion for it (as the CEO wanted to get a bigger yacht than that Saudi prince…)

      • UnCivilServant

        As a bonus, the exoskeleton will mean you won’t feel the lack of a roof as much.

      • Bobarian LMD

        Hawt in that movie.

      • SDF-7

        What the ever loving f… that more signals rubbing it in the Brits’ faces to me. Just beyond the pale.

    • Bobarian LMD

      All retard peaks are only locally optimal.

      As soon as you get to the top you can look around a find one that’s higher.

  2. Count Potato

    Do you know who else was from Kenya?

    • WTF

      Barack Obama?

    • juris imprudent

      That lot from Happy Valley?

    • Rat on a train

      Storm’s mother?

    • Chafed

      Someone other than Hitler?

    • Swiss Servator

      Man, Zero Hedge comments…whew! Hadn’t read them in a while.

      • Warty

        THE JOOS

      • SDF-7

        One of those corners of the internet that reminds me that there are a lot of people who are, in fact, way dumber than I would give most humans credit for. Or just sick and twisted. Whichever.

      • Mojeaux

        Stay AWAY from the ZH. No stable mental health comes from reading ZH.

      • Name's BEAM. James BEAM.

        Nah, I just avoid the comments. For every good one there’s one (at least!) that’s deeply, deeply disturbing.

      • Fatty Bolger

        Aw, it’s not always that bad. Sometimes you can scroll down a good 7 or 8 comments before somebody blames the Jews for everything, and/or denies the holocaust.

      • Mustang

        I must miss everything because every time someone posts a ZH link, someone else comments about the antisemitic comments, and out of curiosity I sometimes go and look and have never seen the antisemitism. Do I just not hear the dog whistles? Or do they quickly just fall down the comments and I get tired of scrolling to find them?

        I honestly don’t even know why I look for them…curiosity I guess…sometimes ZH has interesting articles.

      • Mojeaux

        they quickly just fall down the comments

        That, and often they are deep in one comment thread.

      • grrizzly

        I think in the past there was more antisemitism in the ZH comments than now. I believe a decade ago it wasn’t an issue at all. Now the most upvoted comments are pro-Putin and there isn’t much obsession with the Jews.

      • Mustang

        I don’t get involved in the Ukraine discussions either because I have a hard time being able to discern who’s pro-whatever vs anti-whatever unless it’s explicitly stated. I think I’m just too dense.

      • rhywun

        There’s so much propaganda flying around you’re probably better off.

  3. Certified Public Asshat

    Pass a spending bill and cancel debt in order to reduce inflation, that’s how it is done.

    • hayeksplosives

      Imma pass a law outlawing murder in order to prevent gun violence.

      • Tonio

        Magical thinking works!

      • rhywun

        +1 I will end the fossil industry as we know it

      • rhywun

        *fuel

    • Count Potato

      Forgiving student debt is just another way government will hand money to the banks.

      • hayeksplosives

        And the unis will continue to raise tuition so they can get their cut too.

      • Count Potato

        Sure, why wouldn’t they?

      • juris imprudent

        And more strippers struggling to pay their tuition, for Hunter.

      • Bobarian LMD

        Imma guess that Hunter will find himself some work in educational financing, with the Big Guy.

      • The Other Kevin

        Everybody wins!

    • Sensei

      “Thank you. Since we decided a few weeks ago to adopt the leaf as legal tender, we have, of course, all become immensely rich.”

      Ford stared in disbelief at the crowd who were murmuring appreciatively at this and greedily fingering the wads of leaves with which their track suits were stuffed.
      “But we have also,” continued the management consultant, “run into a small inflation problem on account of the high level of leaf availability, which means that, I gather, the current going rate has something like three deciduous forests buying one ship’s peanut.”

      Murmurs of alarm came from the crowd. The management consultant waved them down.

      “So in order to obviate this problem,” he continued, “and effectively revalue the leaf, we are about to embark on a massive defoliation campaign, and. . .er, burn down all the forests. I think you’ll all agree that’s a sensible move under the circumstances.”

  4. robc

    RE: morning thread

    Still 40 minutes to go, but I would be fine with current results of ManU-Liverpool game.

    • SDF-7

      :shrug: I’d be fine with them as well… whatever they are. Apathy for the win!

    • Certified Public Asshat

      Yeah screw it, I want to see Liverpool in pain now.

      • juris imprudent

        MU is delivering for you on that.

      • SDF-7

        I’ll just wait for the Manchester Cinematic Universe then… I hear Thanos is a really good goalie… though he’s no Scott Sterling.

      • rhywun

        With Liverpool in suck-ass mode, I’m turning more to hate-watching this year. I will support anyone that can figure out how to take down Man City.

      • juris imprudent

        Ha – you might end up a Geordie!

      • rhywun

        As if. But I’m OK with that, I like Newcastle.

  5. hayeksplosives

    I love the Mr. T pic.

    Glibs Art Department homos agree with you!

    • Timeloose

      D.C, Cab!!

      • Bobarian LMD

        Anyone who takes “flour” and waits more than 72 hrs to pee in a bottle?

    • Drake

      Great news! The PM of Finland is just a drunk whore and totally not on drugs!

      • slumbrew

        I suppose I might care if I was a Finn.

        Although I assume I’d be too drunk to care.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        I’m more disappointed in her apparent level of drunkenness. Finns don’t get drunk, at least not the ones I’ve known. They’ve got an extra liver or something in there.

      • SDF-7

        All the lutefisk acts as an extra filter in their digestive tracts?

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        As PM I’m sure she had access to some clean urine.

      • Sean

        You just want to watch her pee.

      • The Other Kevin

        She’s a Finn, not a Russian.

      • Name's BEAM. James BEAM.

        Heh.

      • Certified Public Asshat

        That might be the primary reason for the criticism.

      • Zwak. And once again, the mall is his Waterloo

        Well, you can fry a Finn in Butter, and they are still a Finn.

      • slumbrew

        *snort*

      • Bobarian LMD

        And?

    • juris imprudent

      Lance Armstrong!

    • UnCivilServant

      I did.

      Apparently I’m just warped.

    • Gustave Lytton

      All of the drugs you don’t test for?

  6. Count Potato

    “Five people were killed in a horror car crash in Florida this weekend when a man who had his license revoked almost a decade ago smashed into them while driving the wrong way down the freeway.

    Four women and one man lost their lives when 30-year-old Maiky Simeon, travelling east in the westbound lanes of the Palmetto Expressway close to Miami, drove his Infinti sedan directly into a Honda sedan at high speed at around 4:30am local time on Saturday.”

    https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-11134963/Five-people-including-four-women-aged-18-25-killed-head-crash-wrong-way-driver.html

    Do you know who else killed a bunch of Cubans?

    • Mojeaux

      Too soon.

    • WTF

      JFK?

      • juris imprudent

        More like Allan Dulles.

    • MikeS

      Sharks?

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        *golf clap*

      • slumbrew

        Ooof.

    • B.P.

      Winston Churchill?

      • Bobarian LMD

        Smokin’!

    • Gustave Lytton

      The winner of a sandwich eating contest?

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Rush Limbaugh?

      • Plisade

        Monica Lewinsky?

    • Rat on a train

      An Argentinian?

    • Name's BEAM. James BEAM.

      Castro and Guevera, natch.

  7. Fatty Bolger

    A language ‘revival’? Quebec moves to protect French amid Canada’s shift towards English

    If you ask actual French people, they will tell you that the so called “French Canadians” stopped speaking French a long time ago.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      If you ask Parisians… aw fuck it, nobody wants to talk to a Parisian.

      • Zwak. And once again, the mall is his Waterloo

        But what about a Brazilian?

    • SDF-7

      “Why in America, they haven’t spoken it for years….

    • Name's BEAM. James BEAM.

      My rellies in Normandy love listening to QuĂŠbĂŠcois and joual; to their ears, it sounds like what we think Elizabethan English sounds like to us (although the joual is more like Elizabethan English via working-class Brooklyn, I gather…).

      • Fatty Bolger

        They used the language differences in a B plot in one of the episodes of A Very Secret Service, where the French agents couldn’t understand what the Canadians were saying. Pretty funny show set in the early 60’s. Here’s a good example:

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gczkM8cL2hs

      • Homple

        A fossil language; linguists study these to learn how the talked in the old days.

      • SDF-7

        Rather cunning of them.

      • Homple

        OK. That was good.

    • Bobarian LMD

      Closer to coon-ass cajun than real french.

  8. The Other Kevin

    Just got the annual hockey season kickoff email. For some reason we’re starting practices 10 days early this year. Not that I’m complaining. The team meeting is in 2 weeks, at which time they will give us our schedule, and I’ll let you all know where and when I’ll be on the ice at a rink near you. I know for sure the big tournaments are in Anaheim and St. Louis this time.

    • Fourscore

      Good on you, TOK. You’ll have more time to get in sync with your team mates. You guys/girls are unbelievable. Are any of the weaker sex able to compete in the men’s leagues?

      • The Other Kevin

        All our leagues are co-ed. Only the national (Paralympic) teams are not. On my Blackhawks team, we have the captain of the women’s national team. We have had other women play with us, too.

      • Fourscore

        Good deal!

    • SDF-7

      It should never be forgotten that this was the same idiot who reported the mood outside an abortion clinic was like ‘someone has died’ after the draft leak.

      • Ted S.

        LOL!

      • Homple

        “Yamiche Alcindor reports that women outside Mississippi abortion clinic ‘feel ‘gutted,’ ‘devastated,’ and ‘like someone has died’ ”

        The “gutted” part was…off too.

  9. The Late P Brooks

    Good news, everyone!

    The IRS could be on the cusp of revolutionizing the way that Americans file their taxes.

    The Inflation Reduction Act signed into law by President Biden on Tuesday provided $80 billion in funding for the agency, including $15 million to deliver a report on a free, government-run tax e-filing system that tax simplification advocates have long argued for.

    Who could object?

    They should just do cash sweeps of everybody’s bank accounts every week.

    • The Other Kevin

      My guess it involves taking all your money, and writing you a UBI check every month.

    • Rat on a train

      Who could object?
      Intuit

    • SDF-7

      Well, Intuit leaps to mind — I thought the IRS actually *had* something like this… just the tax prep software lobbyists made sure it was (web page wise) downstairs in a locked filing cabinet, next to a HTTP server emblazoned with “Beware of the Leopard” and all.

    • Drake

      revolutionizing the way that Americans file their taxes

      At gunpoint?

      • juris imprudent

        Remember, our tax system is voluntary, so really you’re holding the gun to your own head!

    • Timeloose

      Those gold bars buried in the yard should be getting some friends. We should at least make it hard to find.

      http://www.quickmeme.com/meme/3tpqnk

    • Gustave Lytton

      $15M to produce a report…

    • Certified Public Asshat

      Tax simplification advocates say a slimmed down tax code, which now stands at nearly 10 million words between statutes and regulations, would be well worth the effort.

      At least we aren’t taking this seriously.

      • Bobarian LMD

        “Give us all your money.”

      • slumbrew

        “Give us all your our money.”

      • Bobarian LMD

        What’s yours is mine and what’s mine is also mine.

  10. Gustave Lytton

    Saw a guy working on the 2.5/3 story roofline of a house standing on a plywood sheet on a telehandler’s forks. 🤦‍♂️

    • Bobarian LMD

      His hair was perfect.

  11. The Late P Brooks

    Specifically, the agency has to figure out how much an online filing system would cost, the design of the system and how taxpayers would feel about using one.

    ——-

    An April report from the U.S. Government Accountability Office found that while 70 percent of taxpayers are eligible for the Free File Alliance program, only 3 percent use it.

    Make it mandatory.

    • Sean

      Yeah…I’ll keep using an accountant. That’s my first line of defense.

      • Bobarian LMD

        Somebody got to give those 87K new employees something to look into.

        Thanks for taking one for the team.

      • DrOtto

        CPA stamp is bug be gone for audits. They hate going up against someone who might know what they’re doing.

    • The Other Kevin

      It’s almost like people don’t trust the IRS.

  12. The Late P Brooks

    Return-free filing is the second, more dramatic option for a free, IRS-run e-filing system that experts say could once again be under consideration as part of the Inflation Reduction Act.

    Return-free filing is used by many countries with advanced economies in the Organization for Economic Cooperation and Development. It essentially means that the government would do your taxes for you, withholding what’s owed and then doing its own accounting without requiring forms to be sent in by taxpayers.

    We’ll have to do away with cash, first. And self-employment.

    • slumbrew

      They’re working on those.

  13. Count Potato

    “Recent Twitter discourse compels me to remind you: home cooking is regressive, NIMBY-aligned, problematically gendered, and ultimately a means of reifying existing class structures. The revolution will not be prepared in your kitchen; it will be served to you at a restaurant.”

    https://twitter.com/GoodGuyGuaranty/status/1558950110062678018

    I’ll have the word salad.

    • Nephilium

      Wait… so me cooking at home is bad now?

      • Gustave Lytton

        Of course! You must eat in the communal dining facility, comrade. What are you trying to hide?

      • Bobarian LMD

        The cockroach souffle’ is delightful.

      • juris imprudent

        So Titiana McGrath in the kitchen?

    • Mustang

      I’m sure this is satire, but when I traveled to Vietnam they had a lot of communal neighborhood dining. I thought it was interesting.

      I’m not saying we must do that, just that cultural differences are really interesting and the more I travel the more I notice how caught up we all get in what seems “normal” to us and everything else seems “terrible.” I often wonder what kind of solutions we could come up with if we borrowed more from other cultures.

      This is why I support free markets. The guy who typed this is satirizing people who would force this on others. We need more freedom to just try new ideas, and maybe this is one that could be the foundation for something more useful that could become a cultural norm. We won’t ever know because the minute someone tries to make it mandatory most of the rest of us rightfully tell them to fuck off.

      I probably only care because it centers around food, and food is a great way to identify cultural differences that can be fun and interesting.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      The Soviets tried to eliminate family kitchens in favor of communal ones.

      Quality satire requires that the satirized not have already attempted the act.

  14. Fourscore

    “Education secretary says Biden student debt announcement due in ‘next week or so'”

    I should be PO’d about this, since I’ve been ‘helping’ my 3 grand daughters with their student loans. Were it not for the tax laws they’d all finished.

    I don’t really care, because paying off debts is the right thing to do.

    • The Other Kevin

      About 10% of the population is going to be ecstatic about this. The rest, not so much.

      • slumbrew

        Even going with the most cynical take, this isn’t going to change anyone’s vote – the people who will benefit wouldn’t be caught dead voting for anyone other than a ‘D’.

      • The Other Kevin

        It might peel off whatever blue collar workers that still vote Dem. And it will 100% cement that the Dems are the party of the credentialed class.

      • Bobarian LMD
    • Tundra

      I think it’s a terrible idea. And I am pissed off.

      Part of me hopes the assholes realize that it’s going too far. But another part of me wants to see the world burn.

      A conundrum.

      • The Other Kevin

        At this point it seems like both parties are doing their best to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory. It’s just one bad idea after another.

      • rhywun

        I wonder which school will reach $100K annual tuition first. Place your bets.

  15. The Late P Brooks

    “It’s critical to make filing taxes as easy as possible,” Frank Clemente, director of the left-leaning advocacy organization Americans for Tax Fairness, said in an interview. “We’ve got to move away from this adversarial feeling. A simpler tax system will reduce cost, increase compliance and make people just feel better about the IRS.”

    Except for those “Taxation is Theft” crackpots. It would be so much easier if the IRS just sent you a notice telling you how much of your money they think you are entitled to get your grubby mitts on.

    • The Other Kevin

      A kinder, gentler tax audit.

      • Mojeaux

        So, a dildo WITHOUT barbs?

      • SDF-7

        GAH!!!

      • Bobarian LMD

        Punchline to an old joke: “Ma’am, that’s my thermos.”

  16. The Late P Brooks

    In a Wednesday memo to IRS Commissioner Charles Rettig, Treasury Secretary Janet Yellen expressed concern about unfairness built into the tax system, which she described as “two-tiered.”

    “Most Americans pay what they owe, but those at the top of the distribution often do not,” Yellen wrote.

    It’s almost as if the tax code is written in such a way that “what you owe” is open to interpretation.

    Our best. Our brightest.

    • juris imprudent

      How exactly do you calculate a fair share?

  17. Not an Economist

    Here is a really, really, really, really, good idea.

    I mean, this time it will work right? I mean Stalin and Mao just didn’t have the right “experts” to advise them.

    • The Other Kevin

      Groundbreaking! It’s never been tried before!

      • Bobarian LMD

        Mass graves do involve a lot of ground-breaking.

    • SDF-7

      Ok… I’m really leaning towards this being an extra elaborate troll at this point. If his next “brilliant idea” involves everyone being forced to read a Little Red Book, we’ll know the jig is up.

    • Gustave Lytton

      am Kotsko
      @adamkotsko
      ¡
      8h
      Replying to
      @adamkotsko
      Young adults have to do a period of public service, and one option would be a “tour of duty” as a farm worker for a few years. Everyone would at least know someone who knows firsthand what goes into food production.
      38
      49
      34

      Adam Kotsko
      @adamkotsko
      ¡
      8h
      The overwhelming majority of people live in a handful of ultradense urban cores, connected by high-speed rail. No car-based suburban communities exist. A handful of people stay in rural areas full-time to manage the work brigades or run wilderness retreats or whatever.

      Work brigades. This fucker isn’t emulating Stalin or Mao, his ideal is Pol Pot. Eyeglass wearing intellectuals will clearly be exempt this time.

      • EvilSheldon

        Didn’t Pol Pot and his buddies all go to journalism school in France?

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Oooooo… I bet they’ll even have tractors and a five year plan!

      Gonna have to get rid of all the kulaks first though.

    • Not an Economist

      I read more of his twitter. He is an academic. Read all the “right” books and can probably regurgitate them on command. But the closest he has ever been to a real job is McDonalds … maybe. He has no idea of how the real world operates and believes all prior tries at Communism weren’t done by noble people like him. And besides, he and his fellow travelers have learned from prior mistakes. All problems can be solved by experts. I’m thinking the closest he has ever been to a farm is driving by one. He definitely has never worked at one.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        I’d happily drop him in the rural Philippines to work the fields

  18. Count Potato

    “Thread: After a fresh, close look at my January 6 footage, I discovered something in the chaos I didn’t know I captured:

    On the Capitol East side, Capitol Police Lieutenant Tarik Khalid Johnson is in my footage wearing a MAGA hat and shouting into a bullhorn.”

    https://twitter.com/FordFischer/status/1560287643723866113

  19. The Late P Brooks

    Heads will roll

    Ford Motor is cutting about 3,000 jobs from its global workforce, as the automaker attempts to lower costs as part of restructuring efforts under CEO Jim Farley.

    Ford began notifying workers of the reductions on Monday, a company spokesman confirmed. The cuts are for 2,000 salaried positions and 1,000 agency jobs in the U.S., Canada and India, Farley and Ford Chair Bill Ford said in a message to employees that was obtained by CNBC.

    “Building this future requires changing and reshaping virtually all aspects of the way we have operated for more than a century. It requires focus, clarity and speed. And, as we have discussed in recent months, it means redeploying resources and addressing our cost structure, which is uncompetitive versus traditional and new competitors,” the message reads.

    Ford’s cost-cutting actions are the latest in a series of efforts by companies to reduce expenses and employee head count amid fears of a potential recession or economic softening, with inflation hovering near a 40-year high.

    The cuts, which were first reported Monday by Automotive News, come less than a month after Farley told analysts that “we absolutely have too many people in certain places, no doubt about it.”

    Just don’t cut any of those vitally necessary ESG and diversity departments.

    • rhywun

      Also, electric cars practically build themselves. Who needs all that dead weight sitting around.

      • Fourscore

        The Vietnamese will be making their brand in NC and can hire the Ford experienced people.

      • Zwak. And once again, the mall is his Waterloo

        It says “salaried and agency positions”. I don’t think they are cutting the line workers. Yet.

  20. The Late P Brooks

    Under Farley, who became CEO in October 2020, Ford is going through a massive transformation of the company called Ford+ that includes plans to cut $3 billion in structural costs by 2026, while investing billions to expand its electric and commercial vehicle businesses.

    “We worked differently than in the past, examining each team’s shifting work statement connected to our Ford+ plan. We are eliminating work, as well as reorganizing and simplifying functions throughout the business,” read the message to employees.

    A plan to radically transform the company. They do this every five years or so, don’t they?

    • Homple

      They’re banking on enforcement of IC engine bans.

    • Drake

      Nicer way of saying “offshore all the manufacturing left in the U.S. and Canada.”

  21. Shpip

    I like a good meal and a nice glass of wine as much as any man, only more so… but this is a little rich for my blood.

    Guaran-damn-teed to sell out, though.

    • Gustave Lytton

      A beacon of opulence against Sin City’s skyline, Wynn Las Vegas has long appealed to luxury travelers since opening nearly two decades ago

      I’m betting that the writer has never stayed at the Wynn, nor have they ever stayed at any true luxury hotel. Wynn is glitzy but it’s all skin deep.

      • Zwak. And once again, the mall is his Waterloo

        This. I am sure there are fairly nice places in Vegas, but a casino is not one of them.

      • EvilSheldon

        Seriously. The Wynn is for rappers and poseurs.

    • slumbrew

      My palate isn’t good enough to make wines that expensive remotely worthwhile, even if I had the scratch.

      Hell, I’m off wine pairings w/ dinner altogether – my palate is gonna be shot by the third different pairing or so.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      The Encore is the better hotel of those two. Plus, it’s got the Sinatra restaurant which is excellent.

  22. KK the Porcine Pearl-Eater

    My boss today: “I think we’ve gotten all the policy documents completed”

    Me, to myself: “Yeah? Just wait until Congress turns over in January”

    If the GOP were smart (LOL), they’d come after the agency I work for with a vengeance.

    • SDF-7

      Given the set of agencies they should not go after is the Empty Set, I can believe that.

  23. The Late P Brooks

    So, a dildo WITHOUT barbs?

    It’s a kinder, gentler, 36 grit dildo.

  24. The Late P Brooks

    Information, please

    Elon Musk has subpoenaed former Twitter CEO Jack Dorsey as part of his effort to fight a lawsuit from the company attempting to force the billionaire to move forward with their $44 billion acquisition deal.

    With the subpoena, made public in court filings on Monday, Musk’s legal team seeks a wide range of information from Dorsey, who stepped down as CEO of Twitter last November and remained on the board until late May, a month after the company agreed to sell itself to the Tesla CEO.
    Musk’s legal team is asking for all documents and communications regarding the merger agreement as well as those “reflecting, referring to, or relating to the impact or effect of false or spam accounts on Twitter’s business and operations.”

    What are the chances Dorsey goes with the Sgt Schultz defense?

    • juris imprudent

      Or perhaps since he was forced out, he goes with the scorned-wife retaliation?

  25. creech

    Tales from the Road #2: President Grant died 7/23/1885 in a cottage near Saratoga Springs, NY, days after he finished his memoirs. Diagnosed with cancer (too many cigars) and broke (he lent virtually all his assets to his son’s partner who turned out to be the Bernie Madoff of his day), Grant finally agreed to write his memoirs to provide a little cash for his family.
    He shook on a deal to receive 10% of proceeds but, before he could sign the deal, his friend Mark Twain, said he would publish his memoirs and give Grant 70%! Grant had to be persuaded to back off the handshake deal and sign with Twain. His memoirs, still in print today, earned something like $15 million (2022 dollars) for his family. His widow, Julia, became good friends with Jeff Davis’ widow, Varina. Confederate General Joe Johnston, whom Grant bested in the Vicksburg Campaign, was one of Grant’s pallbearers. Johnston also was a pallbearer for another nemesis, Cump Sherman, in 1891; he refused to wear a hat, in respect, caught a cold and died 10 days later of pneumonia.

  26. Annoyed Nomad

    I posted this on the previous thread and didn’t get a response, so let’s try again:

    Hmmm….Planety McPlanetface?

    • MikeS

      The IAU wants this to be a collaborative affair, so participants must create a team composed of teachers, students, astronomy enthusiasts, or professional or amateur astronomists.

      Once the team selects its favorite names for one exoplanet and its host star, they are required to host a community outreach event that teaches the public about exoplanets. Only then can the team submit a written and video proposal that includes the names and justifications for their choices.

      Naming an exoplanetary system is a huge responsibility, so the IAU set forth a list of guidelines to follow.

      To begin with, the names should have long-standing cultural, geographic or historical significance. Indigenous names are encouraged, but any team proposing one must be led by a member of an Indigenous community.

      Additionally, the name of the exoplanet and its host star need to follow the same theme, meaning they must be related in some way.

      Teams cannot submit names of people, pets or organizations. Any terms related to political, military or religious activities are also not allowed.

      Sounds fun 🙄

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        The Dale Earnhardt System

      • Gustave Lytton

        Indigenous names are encouraged, but any team proposing one must be led by a member of an Indigenous community.

        Pretty sure all humans are indigenous to earth. No one, except the alien skinsuits, is indigenous to those other celestial objects.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Whites aren’t really indigenous. Yakub made them in his lab.

      • R.J.

        “ To begin with, the names should have long-standing cultural, geographic or historical significance…”

        Beavis Galaxy
        Butthead Black Hole

    • Rat on a train

      Bob

    • rhywun

      Sorry, not indigenous enough. 🙄

  27. The Late P Brooks

    Fucking Amazon. I sign in to my account, and they email me an “approve or deny” link.

    I FUCKING HATE E-MAIL.

    Now that I have signed in to gmail, I have to wipe my browser. Otherwise, all sorts of weird shit starts showing up. Fuck you, evilmail.

    • Sean

      That sounds odd.

    • rhywun

      I dumped my paid web and mail host and moved to Proton Mail. For my needs, the free account is working nicely.

      I haven’t used Gmail in over a decade, dunno what kind of spying they’re doing – sounds like a lot.

      • grrizzly

        With a paid Proton Mail account you can read and write emails using MS Outlook or Thunderbird.

      • rhywun

        Yeah, I noticed that. My email needs are very basic – I would even be happy with the built-in MS Mail.

        But their web app is surprisingly slick – even has notifications. I’ll probably stick with that until I need more space or something.

    • The Bearded Hobbit

      I have been able to transfer almost everything over to protonmail. One holdout seems to be AT&T. They will. not. process. my change of address.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Shades of Kelly Thomas

    • MikeS

      Great meme reply to some cop-sucker saying we need to know why they were called and need to see more video to put it in context.

      • Tundra

        That’s gold.

      • rhywun

        And from a commie. 🤪

      • MikeS

        Ha! Didn’t notice that. Well, I guess one person on the left can meme.

      • Tundra

        He stole it.

        Excuse me – he taxed it.

    • juris imprudent

      Well I was wondering why some downtown area wasn’t in flames.

    • rhywun

      Animals.

    • EvilSheldon

      This is why I own an AR-15.

  28. Gustave Lytton

    What do you do with coworkers who think Motel 6 is an appropriate hotel for business travel? And i don’t mean in a pinch or travel to West Bumfuck where that’s the only choice for 130 miles around.

    • Tundra

      Laugh at them as you relax at a Courtyard?

    • KK the Porcine Pearl-Eater

      They’re welcome to stay at Motel 6. Have your travel people put you up at the Hilton.

      • Gustave Lytton

        I book my own travel so no danger there, it’s the comparison with coworkers I worry about and the fact that “business class hotel” in policy means cheap discount hotels not just to my coworkers but my management chain too. To me, that’s Courtyard or Hilton Garden Inn, particularly given the smaller markets I visit. I’ll go down market based on pricing and availability to some extent but as long as Concur doesn’t put a big red X on it, I’m booking.

    • Gender Traitor

      What do you do with coworkers who think Motel 6 is an appropriate hotel for business travel?

      ::bounces up and down in seat and waves arm overhead:: Ooh! Ooh! I know this one!

      ::takes deep breath::

      Hookers and blow!

    • Sean

      Leave a light on for them?

    • EvilSheldon

      Eh. I’ve taught everyone in my family how to use a tourniquet, and how to improvise one that will work. Life-saving skills are always good to have.

      • Gustave Lytton

        I agree. The timing, excuses, and general narrative from Epps I’m not buying.

  29. MikeS

    Any recommendations for an Adobe substitute? Preferably feature laden and free. 🧐

    I’m sick of Xodo locking up every time I open a PDF. A reader is generally all I need, but recommendations for an affordable editor would be great, too.

    • Nephilium

      I’ve been using the Foxit reader, but they’ve been pushing “trials” during updates for a while.

      • R.J.

        The world needs a LibrePDF. Don’t get excited, such a thing does not exist that I am aware of.

      • rhywun

        Yeah, I remember that one being pushy. Also based in China which, well… you takes your chances.

    • rhywun

      Sumatra is free and very bare bones, seems rock-solid.
      There is PDF-Viewer which is a little slicker. Wants you to buy Pro but doesn’t nag.
      I forgot I have Xodo – which means I must not have liked it for some reason.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      WPS Office

      Cheap and works great

  30. KK the Porcine Pearl-Eater

    No no no no no no (it’s a stray)

    https://ibb.co/NZfFPrc

    • Tundra

      Too late.

      Pick a good name.

      • rhywun

        Ha. Another human claimed.

      • Sean

        Heh.

      • MikeS

        Kampered Kitteh

    • KK the Porcine Pearl-Eater

      I think I had a little allergic reaction to it, unfortunately (or fortunately).

      • Gender Traitor

        If you were seriously considering keeping kitteh, I’d suggest you take it for a “test drive.” I’ve never personally known a kitteh who liked to go bye-bye in cars, so I don’t know if they’d like an RV much better.

  31. Tundra

    Kangaroo MMA

    Solid fight.

    • Name's BEAM. James BEAM.

      Remind me to never piss a kangaroo off.

      • Sean

        Don’t piss off kangaroos, BEAM.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Disappointing lack of female kangaroos egging on their boyfriends in the fight

      • rhywun

        I saw that episode of “Planet Earth”.

    • MikeS

      I feel dumber for having read that. I’m going outside.

      • Sean

        Put an onion on your belt.

    • rhywun

      That aged well. 🙄

  32. Scruffy Nerfherder

    FBI: 20,000 man hours, no body found

    Amateur YouTubers: Thirty minutes, body found

    https://youtu.be/l5D1Fd33ctA

    • Ownbestenemy

      YouTubers get paid by the video not by the hour…

  33. The Late P Brooks

    does rock have a Covid conspiracy problem?

    REAL rock and rollers have always been timid, risk-averse trend followers, slavishly obedient to authority and establishmentarianism in general.

    Everybody knows that.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      One might think that looking at the current crop of rockers. They’re a bunch of nadless beta boys.

  34. The Late P Brooks

    Stop saying the same goddam think over and over.

    GET TO THE FUCKING POINT.

    *Scruffy video link

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      That’s about 99% of the internet

      • R C Dean

        And why I loathe videos. They are such a frickin’ waste of my time (there are some exceptions, but unless what you are communicating requires the use of video evidence, you’re wasting my time). Text is a much more efficient way to transmit most information.

        *shakes cane, shouts at cloud*

      • whiz

        ^^^ This +1000

      • The Bearded Hobbit

        This, this, this.

        If I wanted to watch a video I’d watch teevee. I can glean what I want from and article that I have chosen from a website I select. Sit through droning talking heads? I’ll pass.

  35. The Late P Brooks

    That’s about 99% of the internet

    And that’s why there are only a few channels I watch with any regularity.

    That “superfastmatt” guy is a prime example. He’s so in love with the sound of his own voice he babbles incessantly, while providing zero useful information or insight.

    “I do cars” is about the best. Even Vice Grip Whatisname grates on me after a while..