Thursday Afternoon Links

by | Sep 8, 2022 | Daily Links | 183 comments

BEST NEWS TODAY: Oberlin college initiates payment of judgement in Gibson’s Bakery case.

UNPOSSIBLE! Residents of frozen socialist shit-hole not happy with their free, universal healthcare.

ALLEGEDLY CORRUPT GOVERNMENT OFFICIAL ARRESTED IN DEATH OF JOURNALIST: Clark County, Nevada, Public Administrator Robert Telles arrested on suspicion of murder of investigative journalist Jeff German whose beat was public corruption. Although you have to dig for it in the coverage I’ve seen, Telles was a Democrat. And what is a public administrator you ask? It’s a government official who oversees the estates of deceased persons until heirs and executors are located.

CNN CONFUSED, THINKS IT’S THE OLD FARMER’S ALMANAC: As temperatures cool this fall, it’s important to remember that climate change will be back next summer. That’s called weather, CNN.

JEZEBEL SWINGS AND MISSES: Surveillance Titan Peter Thiel Invests Millions in New Anti-Feminist Menstrual Tracking App. An app which nobody is required to buy or use, Jezzies, but don’t let that stop you hyperventilating. One of Jezebel’s many complaints about this is the privacy policy, which explicitly states that it will turn over user data collected by the app to police in response to a “court order, law or legal process.” Yeah, Jezebel, they kind of have to do that, privacy policy or not. Jezebel also questions The Science™ behind the app, only to take friendly fire in this lovely comment by “nosleeptillsmooklyn,” who wrote [j]ust want to give some credit to Alisa Vitti, a pro-science person and feminist whose take on exercising differently throughout the menstrual cycle they are stealing and rebranding in this regressive way. [link ours]

NASA STILL CAN’T GET IT UP: NASA scrubs Artemis 1 launch yet again, plans on-pad repair. There has been speculation at Glibs HQ that they don’t care if the mission fails catastrophically since the mission is unmanned, and the entire program is a boondoggle. Failure would be rewarded with more money and contract extensions.

WEST VIRGINIA WOMAN: Caches contraband in cooter, caught by cops with canine.

About The Author

Tonio

Tonio

Tonio is a Glibs shitposter, linkstar (Thursday PM, yo), author, and editor. He is also a GlibZoom personality and prankster. Tonio is a big fan of pic-a-nic baskets. His hobbies include salmon fishing, territorial displays, dumpster diving, and posing for wildlife photographers.

183 Comments

  1. Count Potato

    “BEST NEWS TODAY: Oberlin college initiates payment of judgement in Gibson’s Bakery case.”

    Hopefully, they won’t continue to drag their feet.

    • Tonio

      Oberlin College and Conservatory has initiated payment in full of the $36.59 million judgment in the Gibson’s Bakery case and is awaiting payment information from the plaintiffs. This amount represents awarded damages and accumulated interest, and therefore no further payments are required.

      • Count Potato

        Then after waiting for payment information, they can wait on their accountants, who then wait on their lawyers…..

      • Shiny Nerfherder

        Somebody’s going to Disney World!

    • SDF-7

      Yeah — to stay in business they’re going to knead a lot of dough.

      • juris imprudent

        Buns? Swiss is going to slam the oven door and deflate your soufflé.

    • whiz

      I want to know when the last payment is.

  2. KK the Porcine Pearl-Eater

    Ya beat me to the punch on the Oberlin story! Never go up against a Sicilian when links are on the line…

    I hope they bankrupt themselves

    • Nephilium

      Don’t look up the Oberlin endowment.

    • Tonio

      I had to walk into the squirrel room and stop the machinery, just like in the old movies about newspapers stopping the presses when a big story broke.

  3. Mojeaux

    Caches contraband in cooter, caught by cops with canine

    For shame for shame for SHAME. /GomerPyle

    • juris imprudent

      At least they didn’t fall out of her ass.

    • Tres Cool

      “Sis Slams Synthetics In Slit! Fuzz Inspects Fuzz!”

    • whiz

      … when the dogs begin to smell her …

      • juris imprudent

        Played that song in a set that ran Hush, Tush, Plush and Rush.

    • MikeS

      +1 You’re goin’ to hell for that one!

    • Zwak. who's suit is as ragged as his nerves.

      Natures pocket!

  4. juris imprudent

    World’s longest understudy finally ascends to the leading role!

    Chileans not as dumb as the assembly that drafted a constitution rivaling the DoD Federal Rules of Acquisition!

    I went to Burning Man and came home with COVID!

    • WTF

      And now we get to watch while the idiot Charles destroys what’s left of the monarchy.

      • Rat on a train

        Ending monarchy bad?

      • Grummun

        Yup. With all the stupid shit that has fallen out of Chuckles’ Spotted Dick hole, it seems likely he’ll just fuck things up more.

      • Zwak. who's suit is as ragged as his nerves.

        What’s the over/under on how long Chuck lives?

      • UnCivilServant

        It’s already too long.

      • juris imprudent

        It would be droll if after all this time he ended cracking like an egg.

      • rhywun

        I dunno; what does he have on Hillary?

      • rhywun

        It’s not like the monarch does anything anymore other than grin and shake hands.

        IIRC there are some rituals to be performed in front of Parliament but he doesn’t actually make any decisions or anything.

      • DEG

        In theory he can withhold Royal Assent from bills, preventing them from becoming law, but I think the last monarch to do that was Queen Anne.

        The monarch also appoints Governor-Generals for countries that aren’t the UK that still have the monarch as Head of State. The Governor-General can give or withhold Royal Assent on behalf of the monarch. In some of those countries, the Governor-General can also order new Parliamentary elections. The last time a Governor-General did that was in Australia in the 70s. It was an unpopular move which helped kickstart the Australian Republican movement.

      • Lackadaisical

        ‘As of 2021, former governors general are entitled to a lifetime pension of nearly $150,000 and also to claim an additional $206,000 in expenses each year.[188]’

        hot damn, how do I sign up?

      • SDF-7

        Well it isn’t like he’s ascending the throne in a time of massive inflation with looming energy and food shortages that are sure to cause social unrest or anything.

        (Nah… it’ll be FINE — as one of our favorite ‘cross the Ponders is wont to quip…)

      • juris imprudent

        I’m sure he’s happy to not be a Hannoverian ruling over Germany.

  5. WTF

    Imagine if Robert Telles was a Republican. The MSM would be going berserk.

    • juris imprudent

      As it is – too local news.

    • The Other Kevin

      Yep. More proof of how dangerous those MAGA insurrectionists are.

    • Count Potato

      Either way, it’s not that big of a story.

  6. Count Potato

    I’m not sure if Jezebel is jealous that people actually read Evie, or that Brittany Martinez looks better than anyone who ever even thought about writing for them.

  7. Tundra

    Caches contraband in cooter, caught by cops with canine.

    *Ovation*

    • Shiny Nerfherder

      *commentariat commences cacophonous clapping*

      • juris imprudent

        Constitutional clause capaciously clipped

      • Bobarian LMD

        Fentanyl? Pshaw!

        Everyone knows it’s c-c-c-cocaine in the c-c-c-clam.

      • SDF-7

        Is your dealer K-k-k-k-ken, c-c-c-c-coming to k-k-k-k-kill you?

  8. The Other Kevin

    “Caches contraband in cooter, caught by cops with canine.”

    He smells my dog!
    H/T George Carlin

  9. DEG

    Oberlin College initiates payment of awarded damages in Gibson’s Bakery case

    • juris imprudent

      How much did you bet?

      $1

  10. Certified Public Asshat

    Some rich old lady in the UK died.

    • Count Potato

      She just died? Wow, I didn’t know that. You’re telling me now for the first time. She led an amazing life. What else can you say? She was an amazing woman. Whether you agree or not, she was an amazing woman who led an amazing life. I am actually sad to hear that. I am sad to hear that.

      • Tundra

        *Another ovation*

        Y’all are on fire today.

    • Tundra
      • The Other Kevin

        I’ve been listening to the Skate Rock channel on Pandora lately, and that song was on yesterday. First time I’d heard it in years.

    • KK the Porcine Pearl-Eater

      Rich? I thought she was a welfare Queen

      • UnCivilServant

        When you count the income generated by the royal family, they’re actually a profit centor for the UK government even before tourist revenues are included.

      • UnCivilServant

        To elaborate, Georges III and IV signed over the revenues from their direct langholdings to the UK government in exchange for fixed payments from the civil lists (but not the ownership of the lands themselves). Today, that revenue exceeds the amount paid to the royal family many times over. So the Windsors got screwed by the Georges not setting an end date on the agreement.

      • Gustave Lytton

        The government would have nationalized it by now in any case.

  11. DEG

    Too Local News: More on Granite PAC

    This might make the unity breakfast a bit awkward. Granite PAC, which I mentioned yesterday as the source of the attack mailer on Rep Melissa Blasek, spent money to go after six Republican House reps with primaries.

    First, this PAC claimed that it exists for one purpose. To support Chris Sununu.

  12. Pine_Tree

    Curious whether the Oberlin payout is going to spur anything nasty from their Proggie allies. I could see students doing something just to be foul.

    • juris imprudent

      Oh perish the thought of the Oberlin administration caught between the hammer and the anvil. [I bet you hear me snickering all the way from here.]

      • Pine_Tree

        Yeah, I’ve kept up with Jacobson’s coverage for years. They’ve been consistently petty and vindictive, and as he points out are clearly unapologetic. The administration has probably been thrashed enough by their lawyers to not say anything else, but I suspect there’s plenty of derangement in the student body, and I could see it getting out.

  13. DEG

    A bunch of racists run an attack ad against John Fetterman

    Well, that’s how it will be spun.

    A new ad hitting airwaves in Pennsylvania is hammering Democrat U.S. Senate nominee — and current Lt. Governor — John Fetterman for an incident that happened in 2013 when the then-mayor of Braddock held a black jogger at gunpoint until police arrived after apparently falsely assuming the man was involved in a crime.

    The ad includes clips of an interview with the jogger-turned-victim along with quotes from an unapologetic Fetterman on how he “may have” broken the law when he pointed his shotgun at the man’s chest.

    • juris imprudent

      Totally racist, which Fetterman isn’t because he’s an authentic working class kind of Democrat.

      [ok that’s not snickering, I’m howling with laughter]

  14. Yusef drives a Kia

    Can we please do away with NASA?
    Its all so silly when you look at what Elon is doing.

    • juris imprudent

      Hell NASA is making the Russians look competent.

  15. Certified Public Asshat

    If a period tracking app from a women’s magazine that grounds itself in conservative, anti-trans definitions of womanhood didn’t raise enough alarms for me,

    LOL.

    • Certified Public Asshat

      I wonder what the rightwing response would be if George Soros invested in an app that tracked individual gun ownership?

      Fair comparison.

      • The Other Kevin

        I think folks around here would be ok with a smart watch telling them when they have a gun deficiency, and when ammo goes on sale.

      • Zwak. who's suit is as ragged as his nerves.

        And to make sure you have a shooting period every month!

    • Chipwooder

      If that happened to my son, may God forgive me for what I would do to the motherfuckers who bullied him. I’d take a personal interest in watching them suffer, to quote Tom Berenger from Platoon.

      • EvilSheldon

        And to the teachers and parents who allowed it to happen.

    • Pine_Tree

      Teach your kids that the solution to bullying is violence.

      Would it have mattered in this case? Who knows – it’s terrible to even read about. But somebody who’s a “relentless bully” in 8th grade needed to get his ass kicked way before that. And “the system” should reward that kind of ass-kicking.

      • Necron 99

        The system punishes that kind of ass-kicking.

      • juris imprudent

        Anyone who refuses the boot on the face young learns all kinds of wrong lessons.

      • Zwak. who's suit is as ragged as his nerves.

        When my son was in 6th grade, he was being bullied. So I told him what to do:

        When you get bullied, stop what you are doing and let the guy keep going with it. This will draw a crowd, and when it is large enough, punch the bully as hard as you can right in the nose. You are looing to draw blood, which isn’t too hard, but it is OK if that doesn’t happen. And at that point some teacher, who was probably watching already, will come running. You will get taken to the principles office, where I will be called. You might get suspended, but that is OK with me. The point is that all of the other kids will have seen it, and know that YOU took care of it. If a teacher or parent does this, you will be seen as having to have someone else solve your problems. And the bullying will get worse.

        As far as I know, he didn’t have to act on this. But I think hearing that he had a parent in his corner, so to speak, put some steel in his spine.

      • Tundra

        Told my son pretty much the same thing. I don’t think he ever had to use the advice either, but I found out recently that he smacked the shit out of someone who hurt my daughter. So there’s that.

      • R.J.

        I taught my daughter a similar approach, only with a nut punch, not a face punch.

    • Tundra

      God dammit.

      I wish I would not have clicked on that. Poor little guy.

      • DEG

        Yeah. That was a rough read.

  16. Shpip

    Peak Florida Man doesn’t exi…

    A cascade of bad decisions turned him into a lefty.

    • The Other Kevin

      Merda learned his lesson. “Leave them gators alone.”

      Words to live by.

  17. Shiny Nerfherder

    Went back through my vaccine resources and found this video from MIT I had forgotten about.

    I seriously recommend everyone watch it, and then go beat that idiot Ron Bailey over the fucking head with it.

    https://youtu.be/yYQ0lwzFgu8

    • Certified Public Asshat

      Bailey wrote recently: Disclosure: I have been fully vaccinated (Moderna) and boosted twice (Pfizer). I also had a mild case of COVID-19 earlier this summer that I treated with Paxlovid and I experienced Paxlovid rebound. Nevertheless, I intend to get an updated booster in early October. Everyone should take their own circumstances into account as they update their risk preferences with respect to COVID-19 boosters this fall.

      • Shiny Nerfherder

        I take my statement back. Beating Bailey is unnecessary, he’s going to kill himself.

  18. The Late P Brooks

    They ran old Liz right down to the cords. Got their money’s worth, they did. They just don’t make monarchs like they used to.

    • hayeksplosives

      No shit about not making them like they used to.

      Hopefully Chuckles won’t run it into the ground before Wills and Kate have their opportunity to restore good will.

      • Chipwooder

        And better hope nothing happens to William, to spare the world a woke King of England.

      • Pine_Tree

        Well, all William’s kids are in line before Mr. Markle.

      • Chipwooder

        OK. I don’t follow this stuff so I didn’t know that. I don’t even know what kids he has.

      • Mojeaux

        He has 3. Harry is 5th in line to the throne.

      • hayeksplosives

        I am hoping that Chuckles will boot him from the line of succession altogether and strip the Markles of their Duke and Dutchess to titles.

      • KK the Porcine Pearl-Eater

        Well, it’s not like Chuck is Harry’s real father…

      • R C Dean

        Boy, Webb Hubbell really got around.

      • DEG

        I am hoping that Chuckles will boot him from the line of succession altogether and strip the Markles of their Duke and Dutchess to titles.

        He has no power to kick Mr. Markle out of the line of succession. I think an Act of Parliament could do it, but Charles can’t.

      • Rat on a train

        The UK switched to equal gender primogeniture so it is currently Will then his kids in order. Each additional kid or future grandkids of Will are before Hank.

      • R C Dean

        Based on his parents longevity, he’ll probably be King for 20 years.

        And what a cuck for not going with King Arthur, since that is one of his names.

      • Mojeaux

        He’s not worthy. He knows it.

        He is spineless and unwise.

      • Pine_Tree

        Yeah, he was kinda stuck. Phillip is too European for a British King. Arthur takes balls he doesn’t have. George would be legit, and he gets a bigger roman numeral. But he’s been known as Charles for so long that he kinda has to stick with it.

      • juris imprudent

        He is spineless and unwise.

        In which case he’s quite right to become Charles III.

      • Gender Traitor

        I’m wondering if some lore or superstition hasn’t grown up around the prospect of another King Arthur, such as it being a harbinger of the end days or (less apocalyptically) the fall of the Kingdom. Can’t turn up any such belief in a cursory web search, so I may have just made it up.

      • UnCivilServant

        The last Prince Arthur died in his teens, leading to his widow marrying Henry VIII and then the whole mess Henry made trying to have a viable son.

      • Gender Traitor

        And before that, apparently Arthur, Duke of Brittany, was named heir to his uncle Richard the Lionheart, but was almost certainly killed by his uncle John, so….not a great track record. (::recalls the fun, dysfunctional family portrayed in The Lion in Winter::)

      • Dr. Fronkensteen

        I wonder if the the next Arthur would be Arthur II. I think you would almost have to do that even though the first one probably didn’t exist.

      • UnCivilServant

        Well, they reset the regnal numbers when Billy the Bastard murdered Harold the last true king. So he’s be Arthur I under the new numbering system.

      • Rat on a train

        The English monarchy traces back to Alfred the Great uniting the Saxons. King Arthur was a legendary king of the Britons who the Saxons replaced. The Saxons never claimed that crown so he would not be part of their line.

      • DEG

        Well, they reset the regnal numbers when Billy the Bastard murdered Harold the last true king. So he’s be Arthur I under the new numbering system.

        I have a vague memory of a case in the UK which stated a monarch gets use whatever regnal numbers the monarch wants.

        I found the wiki page on the case. It looks like the court had several reasons for dismissing the case, one of which is the regnal number is part of the royal prerogative.

      • Mojeaux

        Interesting graphic. Germany’s responsible for a third of that tree.

    • Rat on a train

      Will they return Obama’s iPod or is that displayed with the crown jewels?

      • UnCivilServant

        That was chucked in the garbage.

  19. SDF-7

    There has been speculation at Glibs HQ that they don’t care if the mission fails catastrophically since the mission is unmanned, and the entire program is a boondoggle. Failure would be rewarded with more money and contract extensions.

    I would accept that as an axiom.

  20. The Late P Brooks

    Come on down and check out our low low prices!

    General Motors’ second chance at establishing itself as a mass-market leader in all-electric vehicles is expected to begin next year with the arrival of the Chevrolet Equinox EV.

    The all-electric crossover is scheduled to go on sale in the U.S. next fall, starting at around $30,000 – a price level many automakers haven’t been able to achieve as the cost to build electric vehicles and the batteries needed to power them continues to rise.

    GM executives expect the 2024 Equinox EV, officially unveiled Thursday, to become a high-volume seller for the Detroit automaker, as it transitions to exclusively offer electric cars and trucks by 2035.

    You can set the price anywhere you want, as long as you don’t mind losing money.

    • Sensei

      Ask Mary how many running versions exist.

    • SDF-7

      And I’m sure everyone will have confidence that 7 years from now the battery won’t be discontinued and be $15k or anything. Because GM never ever does anything like that….

      • Sensei

        Most EVs come with an 8 year 70% of rated capacity warranty on battery.

      • SDF-7

        Most EVs aren’t Equinox (GM’s cheapest-of-the-cheap SUV and with plenty of GM’s “design by Tupperware philosophy”), aren’t priced down at $30k starting (barring the golf carts) and don’t have GM’s lovely tendency to discontinue models out of the blue.

        But otherwise I see your point. 😉

      • Sensei

        EVs don’t readily replace ICE in lots of applications, but for some they can be just if not more economic.

        This thing as a second car in a suburban area could be quite economic.

      • EvilSheldon

        Also keep in mind, to have an EV you need to be in a wealth bracket that supports having a house with a garage, and you’re probably going to need a workplace with a charger.

        I’ve been looking (pre-accident) at a cheap commuter car, and there are a lot of hidden costs to an EV beyond the car itself.

      • Sensei

        If your round trip is 125 miles you only need home charging.

      • R C Dean

        I’m guessing GM will have a new easily swappable battery kit. Couple dozen AAs, at that price.

    • Rat on a train

      You can also go Tesla’s route and say you make a car starting at $30,000 but it is currently only available with packages that raise the price by $15-20k.

      • The Last American Hero

        The model 3 is north of 50k.

        It was promised to be $35.

  21. The Late P Brooks

    Bailey wrote recently: Disclosure: I have been fully vaccinated (Moderna) and boosted twice (Pfizer). I also had a mild case of COVID-19 earlier this summer that I treated with Paxlovid and I experienced Paxlovid rebound. Nevertheless, I intend to get an updated booster in early October. Everyone should take their own circumstances into account as they update their risk preferences with respect to COVID-19 boosters this fall.

    “I’m a good little doggy, I m.”

  22. SDF-7

    Holy crap! A politician doing something that at least doesn’t sound stupid? I didn’t think that was allowed in 2022….

    • blighted_non_millenial

      I’m sure she’ll get on that right after she nukes Russia.

  23. Certified Public Asshat

    Apparently the UK will cancel premier league games on down for the next 10 days, except United* and West Ham played home games this afternoon, after the news of queen dying. The champions league most likely will still be played next week, where Chelsea, Liverpool, and City all have home games. How does any of this mournfest make sense?

    *United played with a moment of silence and black armbands today. Of the 22 starters on the field, 21 were not British.

    • grrizzly

      Well, the other club was Spanish.

  24. The Late P Brooks

    The perfect gift for your Doomsday LARPer friends and loved ones

    The rugged Watch Ultra, designed for extreme outdoor conditions like snow, deep water, high winds, or heat, is for serious outdoors athletes: ultramarathon runners, rock climbers, big wave surfers of Nazaré, scuba divers, heli-skiers. Buttons that are bigger and easier to press with snow gloves, tougher glass for when your hand smashes against the rock wall, long battery life for 48-hour runs in the desert, diving features like water temperature and pressure. At first glance, this all seems like happy and useful things for affluent sporty types with an REI co-op membership. But something darker lurks beneath the surface…all these features are for extreme climates — the kind of climates that we all may be living in soon.

    Although the watch seems like it’s a fun device for a weekend hobbyist, it’s just as practical for survival in a post-climate-apocalypse. Droughts, tsunamis, avalanches, blackouts, outrunning roving gangs of cannibalistic bandits…this is the Apple Watch Ultra’s time to shine.

    The most exciting feature of the new iPhone 14 series is the satellite emergency calling. For the first time, your regular phone can connect to a satellite when it’s off the cellular grid, allowing you to make emergency calls from the middle of nowhere (Apple will have its own staffed emergency call center, which will then connect you to local services.) Like car crash detection, this will undoubtedly save lives; there are hikers who die each year in US national parks after getting lost without cell service.

    But there’s something eerie about the most exciting feature of the latest iPhone being “it might help if you’re about to die of exposure while lost in the woods.” We’re used to new tech products hinting at dystopia in more sci-fi ways: surveillance in our homes, algorithms running our lives, companies dry-humping our personal data. This hints at Old Testament dystopia: floods and plagues and wandering alone through the desert for 40 days.

    THE END IS NEAR.

    • Necron 99

      He said “the sheriff is near!”

    • Count Potato

      Serious journalism from Buzzfeed.

    • JaimeRoberto (carnitas/spicy salsa)

      “there are hikers who die each year in US national parks after getting lost without cell service.”

      Stop expecting to have service while in nature, you morons. Take a paper map, or at least download a map to your phone.

      • Tundra

        Christ.

        Gaia GPS is a cheap, brilliant app that lets you download or print maps.

    • Dr Mossy Lawn

      This is just marketing… Apple already tried to lure the fashionista’s with the Apple Watch Edition.. with Gold, etc.. it flopped miserably.
      This is just another attempt to rope in an affluent , trend setting group… Don’t you want to be seen as a real explorer? etc. minor product differentiation for the in crowd.

      Until it has continuous (< 1sec) O2 monitoring, I will pass.

    • R C Dean

      extreme outdoor conditions like snow, deep water, high winds, or heat,

      I was not aware that either of those was a hazard for watches. Mine seem unaffected by Tucson summers, and I can’t recall a watch every crapping out because it was windy.

    • Gustave Lytton

      This hints at Old Testament dystopia: floods and plagues and wandering alone through the desert for 40 days.

      I’m going with the tower of babble.

    • R.J.

      But will it survive a massive solar flare?

  25. hayeksplosives

    Will someone enact my labor for me?

    How / where can I stream the NFL game tonight? I cancelled my Fubo subscription and am not sure if I need that new NFL+ channel to get the game.

    • Certified Public Asshat

      Tonight is NBC, next week it goes behind Amazon Prime.

      • Count Potato

        That’s just un-American.

        Then again, I think Thursday night football is too much.

    • Shpip

      It’s on NBC. Not sure if you can stream for free on the network’s site.

    • Dr. Fronkensteen

      Worst case scenario, Sports bar.

      • Drake

        Worst?

  26. The Late P Brooks

    How / where can I stream the NFL game tonight?

    Do you have Prime? Peacock, maybe?

    • R C Dean

      Cruz’s amendment sought to eliminate the antitrust exemption if either side in negotiations mentions content moderation, adding to his ongoing accusations that tech giants are censoring conservative content.

      “Since news outlets depend on the antitrust exemption while the covered platforms do not, the platforms could then raise content moderations at the first opportunity in an attempt to avoid the joint negotiations,” she said.

      She’s not wrong. Although I am curious now as to how the quasi-monopoly and all-collusion tech platforms avoid anti-trust scrutiny, now that she mentions it.

      • juris imprudent

        avoid anti-trust scrutiny

        Services rendered to the state?

  27. db

    Caches contraband in cooter, caught by cops with canine.

    Bravo, Sir! Bravo!

  28. Rat on a train

    Blinken unveils $2 billion in aid for Ukraine, other European countries threatened by Russia

    U.S. Secretary of State Antony Blinken on Thursday announced major new military aid worth more than 2 billion dollars for Ukraine and other European countries threatened by Russia.

    Thursday’s contributions bring total U.S. aid to Ukraine to $15.2 billion since Biden took office.

    Well, since you don’t need approval from Congress to go to war, why would you need approval to fund one?

  29. R C Dean

    plans on-pad repair.

    NASA should probably get Thiel’s new app first. Could save them some trouble.

    • juris imprudent

      *slow clap turns into torrent of applause*

      • R.J.

        That’s nice.

    • Rat on a train

      It looks like Old English not Anglish.

      • UnCivilServant

        I was going to just call it the English Wikipedia.

        The surreal part is how some of the text makes perfect sense and other parts are “I have no idea what that says”

  30. Tundra

    I may have found peak derp.

    • Rat on a train

      There is no limit to derp.

      • Rat on a train

        This is gold.

        he was a Democrat. so was Eisenhower. so was JFK. so was Truman at least socially. Woodrow Wilson was a Libertarian.

        I only called him a libertarian more than any definiton today because they have more in common with the alt right white nationalist sect than the traditional small town conservative dad. he was racist as f so I didn’t want to just call him a conservative thats all bruv.

      • SDF-7

        Woodrow Wilson was a libertarian

        I don’t know, ROAT — that’s pretty stunningly close to the Derp Asymptote.

      • JaimeRoberto (carnitas/spicy salsa)

        Derp is the ultimate renewable resource.

    • robc

      Calvin Coolidge I would accept.

    • Rat on a train

      The 3 years is the duration of the restrictions “Switzerland is looking into imprisoning people who warm their rooms to 19C for the next three years”. It says there will be fines with “continuing scofflaws facing jail time”.

      Residents in German state Saxony were told by their housing association hot showers would be limited to 4 a.m. to 8 a.m., 11 a.m. to 1 p.m., and 5 p.m. to 9 p.m. every day.

      So I can take a long, hot shower but only at normal times.

    • mock-star

      Unmentioned in the article: Also, a jail term of at least 5 years for bad puns.

      • The Bearded Hobbit

        There are good ones?

      • Ted S.

        My puns are good.

    • Shiny Nerfherder

      She always did seem like a well adjusted person.

  31. The Bearded Hobbit

    The New Mexico State Fair just started and, as typical of events, there is a contest for the most unique food item.

    This year’s entries were the green chile peanut brittle, the bacon green chile corn dog, peanut butter caramel apple avalanche, the Pueblo meat pie, a non-conventional sundae, and the deep-fried chile cheese steak sandwich.

    I’m not sure about the caramel apple but some of those sound pretty good.

    https://www.krqe.com/news/new-mexico/outside-the-box-contestants-compete-for-most-unique-food-item-at-nm-state-fair/