The One Chip Challenge

by | Sep 24, 2022 | I Am Lame | 123 comments

When I was a kid, my family was out eating sushi. My stepdad thinking he was being slick, offered me $20 to eat the ball of wasabi. Ā So I did. Ā It wasnā€™t pleasant but $20 filled your tank in those days.

So he says double or nothing. Ā I grabbed another ball of wasabi and ate that too. Ā It wasnā€™t any more pleasant.

I will never forget what he said that day he handed me $40 at the sushi Ā place. Ā ā€œIā€™d go another round, but I need to pay for dinner.ā€

This is my review of Rowley Farmhouse Elder Millennial Brett Pale Ale:

Being a parent in the 90ā€™s had to be stressful. Ā With insatiable predators all over the internet convincing children to do terrible things like accept unpackaged goods while trick or treating. Ā Its not candy cigarettes were still a thingā€¦wait a minute they still are!

My concern is there are indeed stupid things that come up on the internet and all my kids have access to these stupid things on the internet. Ā Monkey see monkey do, right? Ā The way I see it, I can either shelter them from it and leave them to fend for themselves like a homeschooled Evangelical kid experiencing the unhinged debauchery known as college (its why the loophole is a thing)ā€¦or curate it.

What is the One Chip Challenge?

Its a publicity stunt by an Austin-based snack company called Paqui, known for making hot and spicy chips. Ā To be totally honest they cornered a market for really expensive, hipster Doritos.

They turned the classic Lays marketing gimmick of ā€œyou canā€™t eat just oneā€ on its head (TW: Mark Messier) and are betting you canā€™t even eat one. Ā The reaction videos are most humorous.

The ingredients are blue corn, Carolina Reaper Pepper, Scorpion Pepper, blue dye, and Sunflower Oil. Ā So if you are seed oil averse this is not for youā€¦of course its only one chip. The coffin-shaped box was probably intentional.

  • 20 seconds: Ā Iā€™m okay. Ā My son gagged on the chip and spat it out into the trash. Ā He made his way over to the sink for water when I informed him water makes it worse, get some milk.
  • 1 minute: I recall salivating profusely. Ā He was gargling the milk and spitting it out into the the sink. Ā It was at this point I had to marvel at his autism self-control in pouring the milk into a glass first instead of drinking directly from the carton.
  • 2 minutes: Ā My eyes were watering, and I was sweating a bit. Ā My son was asking me, ā€œwhy?ā€ Ā It was at this point I considered the texture of the chip, and that it would be great for dipping as it was rather thick with a satisfying crunch to it.
  • 3 minutes: Ā My sinuses were very much clear. Ā My son was no longer talking to me. Ā I noticed a small corner piece fell on the floor when one of my dogs walked up to it sniffed it and walked away.

Anything further I thought was stupid so I drank some water and continued making dinner. Ā I probably would have a more entertaining reaction had I not been concerned for my sonā€™s well-being. Ā One thing I did notice was my stomach cramped up from time to time for the next couple of hours. Ā My son didnā€™t deal with this, as he could not manage to swallow the chip. Ā At least he has a story to tell other kids in the band.

Verdict: Ā You will probably survive this, but this isnā€™t in any way to be described as, ā€œsane.ā€

 

This beer has an amusing label which drew my interest from all the stupid things I found on AOL but also made me feel old. Ā It is a pale ale in name only. Ā PAINO? Ā I dunno. Ā Its actually a Belgian Farmhouse Ale, but one that has a small bit of sweetness the back end to counterbalance the tartness one normally finds with this style. Ā Not on par with Unibroue or Boulevard but certainly one I would get again. Ā  Rowley Farmhouse Elder Millennial Brett Pale Ale: Ā 3.7/5

About The Author

mexican sharpshooter

mexican sharpshooter

WARNING: Glibertarians.com contains chemicals known to the State of California to cause cancer and birth defects or other reproductive harm. https://youtu.be/qiAyX9q4GIQ?t=2m22s

123 Comments

  1. R.J.

    That was my experience too. I also did a face to face challenge.

  2. Gender Traitor

    All these crazy challenges wouldn’t be such Things if kids today still had access to good, healthy, character-building toys like Jarts and Clackers. ::polishes belt onion::

    • Grosspatzer

      Jarts! Best lawn game ever, collateral damage notwithstanding.

      One of our glibs threw down the gauntlet on the Friday zoom by successfully surviving one of those chips. Another one will be taking up the challenge in the not-too-distant future. Should be worth the price of admission, there was much trash talking.

      • Gender Traitor

        We never had our own set of Jarts, as I recall – we were more of a croquet and badminton family – but I remember it being played at picnics at our Presbyterian church right around the corner from my childhood home. No injuries that I recall – God was clearly protecting the Frozen Chosen.

        I DID have my very own set of Clackers/Click-clacks/whatever we called them. Mine were red glass!
        Don’t know what ever happened to those, but I still have both my eyes intact.

      • Animal

        I’m not sure what kind of a knucklehead would take on a challenge like this. Reckless, I tell you.

      • Mojeaux

        Says he who put it on his shopping list.

      • rhywun

        It certainly wasn’t me as I don’t like very hot things. The kind of heat that overpowers everything else ain’t right.

      • Raven Nation

        In good news, the Swans got hammered last night.

      • rhywun

        Not a Geelong fan but good, I guess.

        I might have watched but forgot about it.

    • Shiny Nerfherder

      Clackers had a renaissance sometime around 1991. I distinctly remember biking through some Baltimore neighborhoods where a dozen kids would be standing around clacking at staring at you as you passed.

      It was a bit unnerving.

      • mexican sharpshooter

        I remember thoseā€¦they still have them in Mexico.

    • Rat on a train

      Jarts. I recall playing against the kids across the street. “Fifty left, fire for effect.”

  3. The Late P Brooks

    I actually left my house and had two beers at a little place tucked off in a corner of a big shopping area. It’s not a brew pub (they don’t brew beer there) but there are a couple dozen microbrew tap handles. I asked if they had pilseners; they had two. Something from Boise, and the other was from Bend, Oregon. The Boise one was citrusey, and the Bend one was even more citrusey. Reminded me of Sierra Nevada Pale Ale, only not as good. Meh, as the kids say.

    I’ll probably go back and try something else.

  4. Ted S.

    one of my dogs walked up to it sniffed it and walked away.

    LOL. Animals that will eat their own shit and vomit won’t eat these.

    • rhywun

      I laffed there too.

  5. Name's BEAM. James BEAM.

    Yeah, I ain’t doin’ that.ā€‚I’ve eaten enough stupid ultra-hot shit in my day already (highest that I remember [as in, I didn’t pass out and wake up in the ER] was around 2.5 million Scovilles, which I regretted for about eighteen hours until the “burning ring of fire” time was over).

    OT: MikeS, you around?ā€‚I have some thoughts on your battery board issue.

    • MikeS

      I am all ears.

      One thing, this board is for the memory, and is meant to allow you to change out one battery at a time and still maintain 3v to the memory. So I think a CR2/3A holder would be better than 4AA…? I found them on DigiKey for like $3 or something.

      • Name's BEAM. James BEAM.

        I figured it was a volatile-RAM preserver of some kind, yeah.

        Richard mentioned blocking diodes last night, and while that makes perfect sense, I don’t *think* that’s what the two three-terminal devices are on this board — I’m betting they’re SCRs (which would better explain the board notations of “CR1” and “CR2”). Only problem is, I can’t tell where the board traces are going to in all cases (they’re obscured sometimes by the battery holders), and the pin-outs I can find for typical SMD SCRs imply a circuit that doesn’t actually make sense (the gates are connected to ground [minus], and the cathodes and anodes are both connected to the positive side of the paralleled batteries, which implies that no current would flow [the gates aren’t “on”]).

        If the traces coming off the two SCRs and going underneath the battery holders are actually going to the negative terminals of the battery holders, then this circuit makes sense: if both batteries are properly installed, current flows, if both batteries are installed backwards, no current flows, and if one battery is installed correctly and one’s accidentally reversed, the reversed one won’t conduct current, which is also what you want, because if it could still conduct, the two paralleled batteries would actually get connected in series, a short-circuit — batteries go BOOM! and mebbe burst into flames, too.

        I’m also assuming the RAM requires around 2.2V, because voltage drop across typical SCRs is around a volt, and the recommended batteries have nominal voltages of 3V, and typical no-load voltages of around 3.2V (and I’m assuming the circuit being powered would only require a few milliamps, so a light load).

        Anyways, I’d be happy if Richard or anyone else chimed in; I’m just a hobbyist, not a pro.

      • Name's BEAM. James BEAM.

        By the by, I’d happily create a test circuit on the bench for you, except (to my chagrin) I discovered in my parts database that I have precisely *zero* SCRs of any description in stock.ā€‚Stupid oversight on my part. And I haven’t got any time for the next few days to visit the one remaining stockist in town.ā€‚ā€‚:-(

      • Name's BEAM. James BEAM.

        And neither Digikey nor Mouser ships on the weekends.

      • MikeS

        I appreciate the offer. Unless it something you want to do, I think I’ll just get the one I linked below.

        For once in my life, I’m being proactive and am working on this before the low battery alarm comes up, so I have time to mess around with it.

      • MikeS

        Very interesting, Beam. I appreciate that. Electronics is one area I always wished I knew more about, but just never got into. Too bad my parents didn’t by me one of those kits one Christmas.

        This morning I was poking around the ‘net and ran across these. It sure looks like the correct board, just that someone cut the plug off for some reason. And the price is much more reasonable. I think I’ll grab one of these and just get the correct plug for it. Well, maybe I’ll look for the correct plug first, then buy the board.

      • Name's BEAM. James BEAM.

        Actually, at *that* price, you’re coming close to a DIY cost, minus the PITA to create an actual PCB.ā€‚You still have to figure out precisely where to install the board inside your device, of course.ā€‚Yeah, I’d just buy it.

        Annoyingly, the original pic you posted last night is just low-enough-resolution (and with shadows!) that you can’t tell which revision of the board it is; the one you link to above is “REV B,” which is a good thing, I think.

        And the board is designed to either have the plug, straight leads *or* an onboard connector, which is nice flexibility.

        The plug looks pretty standard as well — one of those “board level” power connectors you see everywhere inside PCs, for instance.

        Maybe this or related: https://www.digikey.ca/en/products/detail/te-connectivity-amp-connectors/3-640441-4/698223

      • MikeS

        connectors you see everywhere inside PCs

        I was thinking the same. I used to have 8-10 old PCs tucked away in a closet. I just recycled them about 6 months ago. *sigh*

        I’ll take a look at the pins on the board and double check size and form factor. If the one you link to isn’t it, I’m sure it’ll be easy enough to source.

        Thanks for all the help!

      • Name's BEAM. James BEAM.

        You’re welcome.

        One caveat: those connectors require 24 AWG wire, as well as a special tool to connect the wire into the plug.ā€‚If you can find one that’s already pre-wired, that’ll save you some hassle; you’d probably just have to extend the wires.

        Make sure your polarity is correct!

      • MikeS

        I’ll definitely look for prewired, and then splice it onto the existing wires.

        Make sure your polarity is correct!

        This has me a tish nervous, but I guess it should be easy enough…I hope.

  6. MikeS

    I like hot stuff, but not this hot. Sweating, watery eyes, and cleaned out sinuses are one thing. Stomach pain is something else.

    • Drake

      The real test – does a fart burn your ass?

  7. Fourscore

    When I was a kid in the woods, my Mom would put ketchup on the table occasionally, not too often, lest we get overcome by the spiciness.

    • Mojeaux

      Our quarterback (Mahomes, Chiefs) likes his steak well done with ketchup. There aren’t a lot of bad things I can say about the guy (he’s a good egg), but that definitely gets a raised eyebrow from me.

      • Raven Nation

        Yeah, either one of those is bad.

      • rhywun

        I knew he was a Trumper.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Ketchup with steak is delicious. Quick Swiss steak.

    • Name's BEAM. James BEAM.

      Heh.

      A Swedish acquaintance of mine once joked that Sweden only had three spices: salt, pepper and ketchup.

      • MikeS

        A lot of folks of Norwegian heritage around here, and that’s basically the joke for the majority of them: Ketchup and black pepper is the limit of their spice tolerance.

      • Fourscore

        Skip the pepper and I could move to NoDak. I’m not that exciting and only partly Swede.

    • mexican sharpshooter

      Heinz or Huntā€™s?

      • Colonel Slanders

        Hunts – all day, every day. Screw Teresa Heinz.

      • Gender Traitor

        Brooks! Accept no substitutes!

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        Sir Kensington.

      • rhywun

        Their dijon mustard is really good.

      • Gustave Lytton

        I like my ketchup like my commies. 57 in number.

      • Grosspatzer

        One of my cousins settled in Pittsburgh way back when. Two weeks after 9/11 her daughter, NYU student at the time, came to stay with us to help out with my infant son and his 3 year old brother while the wife and I were spending way too much time at memorial services for my fallen coworkers. When it was time for her to go back we treated her to dinner at a South Street Seaport establishment. Well, we tried to, as soon as we sat down she said we’d have to leave. Because they served Hunts ketchup.

        Yintzers are weird.

  8. Tres Cool

    Why is water heavier than butane?
    Because butane is a lighter fluid.

    • Grummun

      ::delivers cease-and-desist from Shpip’s lawyer::

    • Name's BEAM. James BEAM.

      You’ll see yourself out?

  9. Sean

    My salsa Verde wasn’t not enough with just the Dragon breath. I added a chocolate Scorpion halfway through. That did the trick. Hooboy!

    The chip challenge is stupid.

    • J. Frank Parnell

      heh

  10. Chafed

    Did the beer go with the chip?

    • mexican sharpshooter

      Nothing goes with this chip, except a carton of cigarettes.

  11. Tonio

    I love “The Loophole” video.

  12. UnCivilServant

    Afternoon, Glibs. I have reached Manistee.

    Is Yusef around?

    • Name's BEAM. James BEAM.

      Is “Manistee” some Glib code-word for “enlightenment”?

      • UnCivilServant

        Not as far as I am aware, it is a town on the coast of lake michigan which seems to have a high hipster quotient from my first look around.

      • Gustave Lytton

        My gr grandparents, or maybe it’s gr gr grandparents, were from Manistee/Traverse City. One of these days I’ll make to the cherries.

    • Fourscore

      Check the nearest disc golf course

  13. Not an Economist

    Science stuff but jaw dropping.

    • Name's BEAM. James BEAM.

      Good God.ā€‚It almost looks like you can see the quanta!

  14. Yusef drives a Kia

    Im at Auto Value on the corner of River at. And m31

  15. Yusef drives a Kia

    Im looking at the drawbridge across the street

  16. Yusef drives a Kia

    Standing in the parking lot,
    Ricer is the main downtown

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      River st.

      • UnCivilServant

        I’m by river and water. in my hotel, shall I wander outside and say hi?

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        Im off at 5, you still have my email?
        If so lets correspond and get together.

      • UnCivilServant

        I think it’s archived on my home computer. I changed email backends to protonmail and moved all the old correspondence to my local machine, which is not with me.

      • MikeS

        Yusef, text me your email and I’ll send it to UCS

      • MikeS

        nevermind. I forgot I already have it

      • MikeS

        You boys behave!

      • UnCivilServant

        Don’t worry, you know I’m boring.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        I sent Mike the info, talk soon

      • UnCivilServant

        I responded to mike’s bridging email.

      • Fourscore

        I can see the headlines:

        “Tourists over power locals and take over the town”

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        Excellent……šŸ»ā›ˆ

      • hayeksplosives

        Itā€™s Marthaā€™s Vineyard all over again

        *clutches pearls*

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        We will dine downtown, and frighten the locals

  17. Grumbletarian

    https://twitter.com/WhiteHouse/status/1573725216588562439

    As part of the ā€œAmerica the Beautifulā€ Initiative, the White House launched the Federal Interagency Council on Outdoor Recreation to help create more affordable and equitable outdoor recreation opportunities.

    The national parks have been long overdue for having racial quotas.

    • Fourscore

      Parks have black bears, red foxes and grey wolves.

      • MikeS

        Don’t forget the black squirrels, you racist!

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        What about whitetail deer?

      • MikeS

        White privilege is gross.

      • hayeksplosives

        Iā€™ve never seen a melanistic squirrel, but my Minneapolis suburb had a pretty steady supply of albino squirrels.

        One was a regular visitor to my yard. I have lots of pictures of that little guy snarfing up the seeds and corn I left out for him on the snow.

        I miss squirrelsā€¦

      • Raven Nation

        You can have ours if you want.

      • hayeksplosives

        They donā€™t seem to thrive in the Mojave. We do have cottontail bunnies though. They look a little scrawnier than the ones in the green Midwest, but I think theyā€™re the same species.

        I would take you up on the squirrel offer if I could give them food and housing, but I donā€™t think itā€™s practical. Plus, Felix would have them for lunch.

      • Raven Nation

        Can we borrow Felix for a couple of weeks?

      • Gender Traitor

        There are plenty here wandering around the back yard with big walnuts in their mouths. And probably burying same in the empty raised garden beds.

      • hayeksplosives

        Felix the Orange Eyed Killeh killed a rabbit and ATE half of it last week!!

        From the house I saw him making obvious eating motions across the yard. I went out there later and there was a Half Bunny, pretty much from mid abdomen down. There was no sign of the rest.

        And a couple of hours later, Felix strolls up with immaculately clean white paws and muzzle. He would have passed any forensics exam.

      • Gender Traitor

        Neighbor cat Lucifer (who’s actually quite timid compared to his sidekick, Silas) goes after the squirrels, but I suspect he’s never quite managed to take one down. DID recently see him toting something tiny, maybe a mouse or similar miniature mammal.

      • UnCivilServant

        Looked muscine to me, if you’re referring to the same incident.

      • Gender Traitor

        ::points to comment above, points to nose:: The very same,

      • Gender Traitor

        Just tore up some stale hot dog buns and scattered the chunks under the bird feeders so perhaps they wouldn’t go to waste completely. Now I think Lucifer is eating them. šŸ™„šŸ±ā€šŸ‘¤

    • rhywun

      He wasn’t kidding when he said every office and every agency must laser-focus on “equity” nonsense.

      I think I can see the utopia from here.

      • dbleagle

        My Masters thesis in 1991 examined usage patterns in a official Wilderness Area just outside of Tucson (Pusch Ridge WA) and my results would be problematic today. People who were interested in getting away from roads used the area more than people who wanted roads and amenities. Hence the hispanics used Sabino and Bear Canyons more and a higher percentage of whites were found miles inside the Wilderness. Both groups were exactly correct for what they wanted for their recreation.

      • UnCivilServant

        Unfair! In the name of equality, we must force those minorities out into the deep wilds! Diversity! Uniformity! Conformity! Compliance!

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        Drapetomania FTW!

      • UnCivilServant

        *nervously looks around*

        Uhh…

        *runs away*

  18. Rat on a train

    I took the kids to the state fair. It is back to pre-panic activity. Few masks with only the Democratic Party booth staffed by Covidians.

  19. CPRM

    paki don’t have enough flavor, I’ve never had the challenge chip though. But their other ones are just the ‘spicy’ where the dust gets caught on the back of my throat and makes me caugh.

    • Sean

      As the temps start diving here, my pepper plants are gonna get mad. I was waiting for more to harvest, but I’ll be looking to send you some this week.

      • CPRM

        *Points to Sean’s Avatar*

  20. hayeksplosives

    I rewatched ā€œIn the Line of Fireā€ last night. Clint Eastwood, John Malcovich, Renee Russo. That flick has aged well. I had forgotten that Fred Thompson was in the movie too!

    Favorite line: ā€œI know things about pigeons, Lily.ā€

  21. hayeksplosives

    Did some casual gambling at the local casino and managed to win another few hundred bucks. Quit while I was ahead.

    Now that inflation is really showing its ugly face, I can use the extra cash.

    • Fourscore

      You’ll be dis-invited. Persona non gratis. Unwelcome.

      Good that you quit, most don’t. Always chasing that elusive rainbow

      • hayeksplosives

        The most Iā€™ve ever put in is $40 bucks. I will never risk more than I would be alright with setting on fire.

        If done properly, I can milk a $20 bet for over an hour while getting free drinks, some friendly conversation, and maybe watching a ballgame.

        This weekend just got weird because I happened to win $110 at slots, then cashed out, then out of boredom put in another $20 while husband was still playing, got another $130, then we stopped at our ā€œcorner pupā€ and I put in $20 on a whim and got $140.

        Nobodyā€™s getting rich off that lightweight style I play, but nobodyā€™s getting poor either.

        Sometimes I see the faces of the dedicated gamblers, the ones who go to the ATM at the casino and chainsmoke the whole time. They do not smile, and they do not chat. It is sad.

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      “Honey! You gambled away the beer money!”

  22. Ozymandias

    How topical, Mexi!
    Wife and I wee out walking the dog this morning and the neighbor grabbed me to ask if I wanted some ghost peppers, as his garden overfloweth. So I says, “sure.”
    I have written here before that I have the tastebuds of an 11 yo boy, basically, but China did a lot to expand my palate – particularly on hot/spicy stuff.
    I chopped up one ghost pepper and used half in my eggs this morning, with cheese melted over it and salsa to top it off. Spicy, definitely “hot,” but not as bad as some of the “huo guo” (hot pot) I had in China. However…
    – WARNING –
    WASH YOUR HANDS ASSIDUOUSLY AFTER HANDLING GHOST PEPPERS!!
    BECAUSE EVEN 30 MINUTES LATER, ENGAGING IN NORMAL MALE-BALL SCRATCHING CAN PRODUCE VERY UNCOMFORTABLE AND UNDESIRABLE RESULTS.

    And it wasn’t like I engaged in prolonged fondling of either the pepper or my junk.
    Holy crap – started out warm and then just kept getting warmer until I was forced to use the shower as the eyeball-wash station. (Also, N.B., warm water exacerbates, so you’ve got to go cold and endure that. I gave passing thought to running downstairs and dousing my honker with milk in the sink.)
    All appears to be well, though, and my wife got a good laugh when she got home from the store and I told her of my misadventure.
    Live and learn.

    • Sean

      Wash with dish detergent. Under your nails too, contact lenses wearers.

    • Name's BEAM. James BEAM.

      Disposable gloves.ā€‚Trust me on this.

  23. Mustang

    Is this like a form of cutting? Are you crying out for help? Do we need to be worried? I don’t know why anyone in their right mind would do this to themselves. I’d rather eat Tide Pods.

    • Chafed

      Lol

  24. Mojeaux

    Mr Mojeaux and I just saw Bullet Train. HIGH-larious. <3

    • Chafed

      Did Jerry Brown have a cameo?

  25. The Late P Brooks

    I watched The Samaritan last night (Prime) It was actually not bad; just what I was looking for. Formulaic goodguy/badguy escapism.

  26. The Late P Brooks

    WASH YOUR HANDS ASSIDUOUSLY AFTER HANDLING GHOST PEPPERS!!
    BECAUSE EVEN 30 MINUTES LATER, ENGAGING IN NORMAL MALE-BALL SCRATCHING CAN PRODUCE VERY UNCOMFORTABLE AND UNDESIRABLE RESULTS.

    This reminds me of a similar experience, involving aircraft paint stripper.

    Wash your hands thoroughly BEFORE taking a leak. Yikes.

    • Negroni Please

      Or just strippers in general

      • Sean

        Yes, wash your hands after touching strippers. Gotta get that glitter off.

    • Grosspatzer

      Joe must be a big Jerry Lee Lewis fan. Whole lotta shakin’ goin’ on, for sure.

    • Grosspatzer

      Iā€™ve not had the new bivalent booster yet, as I was following CDC guidelines to wait 3 months since my previous COVID case which was back in mid-August.

      That explains it. Go get those boosters before it’s too late!

      • rhywun

        Jesus. That guy is walking plague factory.

    • Shiny Nerfherder

      Put that SOB on remdesivir and intubate him.