GlibFit 4.0 – Low Impact Exercise

by | Nov 13, 2022 | GlibFit | 226 comments

Last week was High Intensity Training so it seems only fair we cover low impact exercise this week. As popular as high-impact exercise is, there’s a space for low-impact exercise. Workouts like rowing (h/t slumbrew), yoga, Pilates, and Barre are good for strengthening but are much less harsh on the body. For people looking to work on functional daily movements and just live a healthier life, low impact but effective workouts can be a good fit.

One of the big benefits of rowing is that it’s a low-impact experience, giving joints a much-needed break. Like every other exercise, you need to make sure you follow the proper form when rowing to get the full benefits and protect yourself from injury.

Keeping your knees straight and neutral is important. Proper posture is also important and can be a bit harder to maintain with more tension. If you don’t keep that proper form, it could lead to issues in both your upper and lower back as well as back spasms. Shoulder issues are also a risk if you’re pulling higher on your body, such as towards your chin instead of towards your chest.

Yoga typically emphasizes physical postures, breathing techniques, and meditation. Yoga has the following benefits:

  • Blood pressure. Breathing techniques help reduce stress and improve blood flow, which may lower blood pressure.
  • Bone disease. Weight-bearing exercise has been shown to be beneficial to bone remodeling. Yoga accomplishes this in a non-impact manner that is less harmful to joints.
  • Diabetes. In people with diabetes, yoga has been found to lower blood sugar levels, encourage weight loss and improve insulin sensitivity.
  • Strength. Each pose is typically held for several long breaths, which promotes strength, balance and flexibility, particularly in the abs, hamstrings, quadriceps, arms and lower back. Another bonus: better posture.
  • Flexibility. Yoga poses stretch your muscles, allowing you to move more freely and feel less stiff. It also increase lubrication of the joints, ligaments and tendons.
  • Mood. Yoga helps decrease tension, fatigue and anxiety while increasing energy and feelings of well-being.

Pilates is a system of repetitive exercises performed on a yoga mat or other equipment to promote strength, stability, and flexibility. Pilates exercises develop the body through muscular effort that stems from the core. The technique cultivates awareness of the body to support everyday movements that are efficient and graceful.

Pilates advocates tout the core-strengthening benefits of the method to improve posture and balance. Pilates targets the “powerhouse” muscles, which include the glutes, hips, pelvic floor, and lower back. Similar to yoga, the Pilates Method encourages deep, conscious breathing.

Barre was created back in 1959 in London by a ballerina called Lotte Berk. After a back injury, she had the idea that she could combine elements of ballet with her rehabilitative therapy to create a new style of exercise.

A barre workout is a technique that’s inspired by ballet, yoga, and Pilates. It’s a low-impact form of exercise that incorporates isometric movements to strengthen your body.

This week’s music.

About The Author

Chafed

Chafed

I'm looking California but feeling Minnesota

226 Comments

  1. kinnath

    Well, the deer fence is up around the orchard. Now to go move about 20 or 30 bales of peat moss from the trailer to where it needs to be. That’s my early glib fit report.

    • Fourscore

      How tall did you go? 6 feet or more? Just one enclosure?

      • kinnath

        No

        Just a 5 foot fence.

        It’s temporary. Seems to be enough to keep the deer from chewing on the trees in the middle of winter.

        I need to put a permanent fence in some day.

      • DEG

        I think I should have put a bigger fence, or one farther from it, around my new magnolia. It looks like some deer munched the top of it. Fuck.

      • R.J.

        Guns may be illegal to discharge in city limits. How about bow and arrow? That is GlibFit.

      • DEG

        NH rule for firearms, bows, and crossbows is that if there are occupied structures within 300 feet, I need the written permission of all property owners in that 300 feet radius in order to legally shoot any of those.

      • Fourscore

        Good, the deer have to learn to jump. Should work unless they learn.

    • kinnath

      1,500 lbs of peat moss off the trailer and stacked up neatly along the raised planting bed.

      I may get my spring project finished before December.

    • Grummun

      I fertilized the raised garden beds last week when the weather was fine. Now it’s ass-biting cold.

      2-to-1 mix of cow and chicken manure, except for the squash bed, which got just cow. Apparently too much nitrogen makes vining plants produce lots of flowers and no fruits.

  2. Zwak, who taser's the chimp with the razor.

    I did Yoga for a few years, before and after my diagnosis, and my opinion is that much of the stretches are really good, but Yoga instructors are horrible. Most have no idea of what you are actually doing with a body, tend towards the “I can do it, so you can do it” mentality, and generally don’t know much about teaching anything other than group think.

    A well directed group stretching would be time better spent.

    • R C Dean

      “taser’s“

      You did that just to weak Ted S, didn’t you?

      • Ted S.

        He did it to strong me.

  3. Not Adahn

    Eight miles through the woods at Moreau. Lily has recovered, so it’s off to the dog park in a bit.

  4. DEG

    This week’s music is good.

    I did yoga a long time ago. It was surprisingly challenging, though I’ll second Zwak’s comment about many instructors being horrible.

    Last week I started a new program. I recorded myself deadlifting. Both my trainer and I see that my lockouts suck. So he’s having me do a lot of rack pulls, paused deadlifts, and glute work in order to improve my lockout. We also have a plan for when I’ll check my 1RM for the bench press and deadlift. I suspect I will blow past my previous 1RM for bench press (240 lbs). I’m not sure about the deadlift (315 lbs). Both previous 1RM were taken before my disc herniation acted up.

    • Tundra

      When you say they suck, what exactly is happening?

      • DEG

        No hip drive. Hamstrings are doing all the work.

      • Tundra

        Did your guy have you set up with higher hips?

      • DEG

        I sent you a video.

        My hips start pretty darned high as it is.

      • Tundra

        Got it and commented. I really don’t think you are far off at all.

      • DEG

        Thanks!

      • Chafed

        That should have been a Ted’S special.

  5. Tundra

    Chafed!

    Great song!

    I find that when I do consistent yoga, all of my other athletic pursuits improve. The only thing I miss about my old RoboGym is the Wednesday hot yoga class.

    As I promised, my GlibFit week was much better. Sleep is still elusive. Hmmmm, maybe a metric shit ton of stress could be the culprit?

    Nah.

    Have a great week Glibfitters!

    • Chafed

      I’m glad you liked it. They were a local Boston band that looked like they would breakout. Unfortunately, it didn’t happen. Sort of interestingly, two of the members score video game music.

      I hear you about the stress. It will definitely screw up your sleep.

  6. DEG

    OT: Press release from a NC education group on conservatives getting elected to school boards.

    A few days after the election, I saw some folks talking about non-left-wing gains on school boards during the election. I didn’t see any links. I received this today through a DerpBook group related to pushback against NC Governor Roy Cooper’s Lil Rona Panic Measures. It lists 18 candidates, but doesn’t say how many total ran.

  7. slumbrew

    Timely – just wrapped up an hour and a skinch on the Waterrower, watching F1.

    Downside of rowing – can’t bring it with you when traveling; that was my first row in 10 days :-/ Trip turned out longer than planned but I’ll be sure to bring some workout clothes when I’m back in CT for Thanksgiving & use the stationary bike my MIL bought (that I suspect she’s not using at all).

    Great song! Didn’t realize they hit nationally.

    • Chafed

      I wouldn’t call hanging clothes all over it not using it.

  8. Tundra

    Vikings.

    Wow!

    • rhywun

      That was so ridiculous. I was wondering how many tries it would take the Bills to lose it.

      • Tundra

        Hah!

        We were saying the same thing about the Vikings!

        Fun game, though.

      • hayeksplosives

        Yeah, I am glad they won in the end, especially after some questionable calls that favorited the Bills. Feels like justice was done 🙂 (I like the Bills; this might have been a SB preview…)

        Skål Vikings!

        /returns to having a sad about the Bears. Fields loos great, but that is not a complete team!

      • pistoffnick

        Too close, yet they still eke out a win. How about the Vikes play better football?
        At least my man, CJ Ham (a Duloot native) had a touchdown!

    • straffinrun

      This team is sucking me back in, dammit.

      • rhywun

        And I’m so glad the networks are making me relive today’s game over and over again. 🤬

    • Lackadaisical

      I just barely manage dot catch the end of overtime.

      I feel like I watched a whole bills season over the course of 3 minutes. I think I’m going to skip football for the rest of the year.

    • DEG

      This was a typo, no fraud involved.

      Though… the SoS is being a bit slow update totals.

      • Sean

        Thanks for clearing that up.

  9. Chafed

    I’m in the midst of my end of the year charitable giving. I’m looking for libertarian or libertarian adjacent organizations to support. I have already donated to the Institute for Justice, FIRE, and The Woodson Center. Who else do you recommend?

    • Jarflax

      Don’t overlook the possibilities of small local ones as well as the National type. This guy does very good work here in Ohio

      • R C Dean

        I’m a big believer in local giving. For me, the Goldwater Institute counts as kinda local. I confess I haven’t donated to them, but that’s mostly because the last couple of years has been mostly “Who did we give to last year?” Worth looking into, anyway, but look local.

    • Ted S.

      Feel free to support me.

      • MikeS

        “A properly placed apostrophe in every contraction, and a shitty song in every ear.”

      • UnCivilServant

        Inve’rted com’ma’s where the’y d’on’t belo’ng

      • Chafed

        😂

      • Ted S.

        Mojeaux at least seems to like the old songs that I post.

      • Mojeaux

        ❤️

      • rhywun

        Ugh childhood flashback. Yes, I know all the hits. Thanks a lot, big bro.

      • Ted S.

        You obviously hate it because you’re scared of Teh Ghey. 😉

      • Lackadaisical

        Ted’S ruined my joke…

        What are the chances that both brothers would be gay?

      • rhywun

        0%

      • Chafed

        The hate is strong in this one.

      • MikeS

        Indeed

    • DEG

      The Pacific Legal Foundation fought against the Lil Rona Panic Measures.

      I don’t think IJ helped out with a single case of people fighting against those measures.

      • Chafed

        Thanks. I need to look into them.

      • hayeksplosives

        That looks like a good one! Their website indicates they want to expand to more cities.

        Thanks for sharing.

      • Chafed

        Thanks

      • Chafed

        Excellent suggestion

    • KK the Porcine Pearl-Eater

      Neph posted a bone marrow donation org last night in Zoom that sounded very cool. I can’t remember what it was.

      • Nephilium

        I posted it down below as well. They take donations, and you can register with them to see if you can help a kid.

    • Tundra

      Not necessarily libertarian, but we added these guys:

      https://www.greymuzzle.org/

      AS an aside, I thought libertarians were heartless fucks.

      • The Hyperbole

        I for one am a heartless fuck, so there’s at least a bit of truth in that sentiment.

      • Chafed

        I think you know that’s right up my alley. Thanks.

      • Zwak, who taser's the chimp with the razor.

        My wife and I adopted an older dog, and totally fell in love with him.

        When he passed, a short 5 years after his coming home with us, was absolutely crushing. Wouldn’t change it for the world.

      • Tundra

        Yep. We just celebrated two years with Kiki, who is now 12.5 years old.

        She’s got issues, but we got pure love.

      • Chafed

        I never heard of this group. I will look into it.

      • Gender Traitor

        It’s a Denver-area org. Can personally vouch for the yumminess of their 10-bean soup and their chili.

    • Shiny Nerfherder

      The National Nerf Herders Association is a favorite of mine.

    • Nephilium

      Don’t need to donate, but you can sign up with DKMS to get on a list to provide bone marrow transplants to kids with cancer.

    • Tundra

      My retard meter just exploded.

      • Chafed

        As I understand it, he has actively supported lowering the state income tax and defended TABOR. He should get credit for that. Hell, in California it would make him a reactionary.

      • Tundra

        You are correct.

        Our state tax reduction measure did pass.

        I’ll give him credit for that, but most of the platform is atrocious.

      • Shiny Nerfherder

        Even a cursory reading of his platform would put to rest any musings about his libertarian leanings. Reason is staffed by saboteurs of the libertarian movement.

      • Lackadaisical

        “According to an Independence Institute team led by Senior Fellow Paul Prentice, Polis’s lockdowns destroyed 43 percent of all Colorado small businesses. Aside from the economic damage, the cost to quality of life and individual freedom cannot be calculated.”

        Jayzus.

        It is a veritable Libertarian Moment.

    • Rebel Scum

      Dems have literally been the big-government party for at least a hundred years…

    • Drake

      The Dem for Governor in SC campaigned on eliminating the state income tax. No details on how that was going to happen other than selling pot. Nobody took him seriously – including him (already forgot his name).

      • Ted S.

        They could always cut spending. LOL

    • Shiny Nerfherder

      So embracing the Green New Deal isn’t big government?

      How about red flag laws?

      Universal pre-k?

      Expanding protected status to gender identity?

      Once again, Reason proves it’s run by idiots.

  10. hayeksplosives

    I resent that the Packers have put me into the uncomfortable position of rooting for Dallas.

    • Ted S.

      You don’t have to root for Dallas.

      • Tundra

        She does.

      • Rebel Scum

        I don’t.

    • KK the Porcine Pearl-Eater

      same

    • rhywun

      I can’t imagine rooting for Dallas. Maybe against Miami…? Only because Miami was always Buffalo’s biggest rival.

    • The Hyperbole

      Like the Vikings game earlier it’s at least an entertaining game, I often wonder what it would be like to root for a team that plays entertaining games.

      • Nephilium

        We had the Thursday night game against the Stillers and the Monday night game against the Bengals.

        The girlfriend still thought we had a chance down by over 14 points in the third quarter.

      • The Hyperbole

        Sure, but for every one of those games they play four or five like the one today, it’d be depressing if I had the capacity to care anymore.

      • Nephilium

        There’s always next year…

  11. Rebel Scum

    My girl, Boebert, is ahead with 99% reporting (why the fuck did it take this long? ///rhetorical) and the race hasn’t been called. Anyone know if there is an automatic recount rule in CO? I believe there is in VA if it is within 1% difference.

    • The Hyperbole

      According to Ballotpedia there is an automatic recount if the difference is less than ½ of 1% of the winners total votes, right now it’s closer to ¾ of 1%.

      • Raven Nation

        Although the loser can ask for a recount if they’re willing to pay for it.

    • Lackadaisical

      Glad she might win.

      1. she is okay to look at
      2. she cray cray in a good way. She is the rightwing version of the squad.

  12. Rebel Scum

    I seem to have a couple otherwise heavy-hitters on my fantasy football team underperforming again. Sad.

    • Chafed

      Bigly.

  13. Mojeaux

    Yeah, so one of the Chiefs now has a concussion from a helmet-to-helmet hit that was called, but then the flag was picked back up, refs calling it shoulder-shoulder. Except the video has an audible clunk.

    Chiefs are a bit salty.

  14. straffinrun

    Post election burnout? Exercise. 👍

  15. straffinrun

    Digging into this. Figure it’ll take month. When done, I’ll try to do a write up on my thoughts.

    https://ibb.co/Dtk6TN3

    • DEG

      I think it took me longer than a month to read it.

      It’s been quite a while since I read it.

      • straffinrun

        I’ll watch that after reading it. I’m glad I saw Crime and Punishment after reading it and not before.

    • The Hyperbole

      Good luck, we’re all counting on you. At the very least It can’t be worse than Moby Dick. personally I’ve given up on reading ‘classics’ since not a single one I’ve been conned into reading has been any good.

      • Zwak, who taser's the chimp with the razor.

        Hey, most of what I read is “classics”. For the most part, I can see why they are still around all these years later.

      • The Hyperbole

        Okay, Mark Twain and one or two Steinbeck works (Cannery Row, Tortilla flats) are okay but the rest of the Fitzgerald, Hemingway, Austen, Salinger type tripe is shite.

      • PudPaisley

        Glad I refreshed, since I was going to mention Twain. Otherwise, I’m mostly with you regarding the classics. The other one I really like is Jack London, although most of those are short stories. Call of the Wild and John Barleycorn are good novels.

      • Zwak, who taser's the chimp with the razor.

        Kipling, Conrad, Maugham, Waugh, all good. I love Hemingway, and consider The Short, Happy Life of Francis Macomber one of the greatest short stories of all time. Dumas, Sue, Dickens are all fun when you read them as written, as Chapters broken up. Camus has, in my opinion at least, great insights to the human character, while the Russians span from the darkest reaches of the human heart to the sweep of history.

        I love them, and am perfectly happy to challenge myself to learn the cadence, structure and language of these writers.

      • The Hyperbole

        Meh, Kipling turned a good phrase occasionally …”But when it comes to slaughter
        You will do your work on water, An’ you’ll lick the bloomin’ boots of ’im that’s got it.”…
        great stuff but it can barely carry a poem let alone an entire novel or feature length film. I’ve never read Conrad , Maugham is more pretentious than Melville, (which I didn’t think was possible). Waugh I’ve never read either. Dumas is too verbose, I don’t know who Sue is, and Dickens can fuck right off with his posh bullshit. Lansdale, Higgins, Bruen, and Thompson these are writers.

      • Zwak, who taser's the chimp with the razor.

        You forgot Ellroy. And I hope you mean George V. Higgins, and not Jack.

      • straffinrun

        Hype is in my thoughts as I read this.

        Page 9: In most cases, people, even wicked people, are far more naive and simple-hearted than one generally assumes.

      • The Hyperbole

        So you admit that you have underestimated me.

      • Lackadaisical

        Hype- I think the Russian classics are better than American ones. YMMV

        e.g. Crime and Punishment is really good.

      • straffinrun

        Yes. C&P searches the depths of the human mind unlike any other novel.

    • Zwak, who taser's the chimp with the razor.

      I read it in college, mostly because we had to read a long section from it in philosophy – The Grand Inquisitor.

      I… don’t really remember much. I should go back and reread it.

  16. whiz

    My Glibfit this week was raking and bagging leaves for 12 hours total, with 34 (packed) bags of leaves. And the tree on the north side is not done yet.

    • Fourscore

      I could use those leaves in my garden. A buddy used to give me his leaves, about 80-100 bags, but he moved into an apartment. I would mulch the plants one year, till them in the following spring and start over again. Getting tougher for me to do much in the garden but I’ll try again next spring. I learned a lot this year on what not to do.

      • whiz

        If you want to come to Ames, Iowa, you can have them, LOL. (But it has to be very early tomorrow, they get picked up early in the morning.)

    • Raven Nation

      Over three weekends, I’m up 57 bags. Think I’m close to being done.

      • whiz

        I really pack mine in the bags (39 gallon), otherwise it might be 80 to 90 bags.

      • Chafed

        Why don’t you mulch the leaves with your mower?

      • Lackadaisical

        I agree with this plan in general.

        I’ve found live oak leaves don’t like to degrade. Might make a good long-lasting mulch though.

  17. CPRM

    I’ve had moobs and a gut since I was a child ( I was always very active, but I guess not enough?) So those things don’t bother me. But I always had strong muscular calves. When I was in my early 20s each one was more than 20 inches in circumference, all muscle. Since I’ve had all my knee/ankle/nerve problems in my legs the last 8 years or so, when my legs aren’t swollen from retaining water, I’ve got little fucking chicken legs. I used to always make fun of my dad for his tiny chicken legs, but now that’s what I have to…that was way off topic, but that is my comment on my glibfit.

  18. hayeksplosives

    I am weirding myself out tonight.

    Just cried profusely bar watching the last episode of Babylon 5.

    Now puttering the house in prep for the step kids.

    But the best part was a text from a friend and former cowerer.

    • CPRM

      a friend and former cowerer.

      A Cow Orker or someone who hid inside for 2 years?

  19. Sean

    Morning Glibs.

    • robodruid

      Good Morning Sean:

      Insomnia.
      So i am trying to be calm while reviewing a contractors report.
      Coworker: “Either they don’t know what they are doing or they know exactly what they are doing”
      Really hard to dispute that phrase.

      • Lackadaisical

        Makes you want to go into consulting, doesn’t it? 😛

      • robodruid

        Not until 1 year after I retire.
        But this company would save themselves so much heartache, and get paid faster if they did some basic QA/QC.

      • Rat on a train

        QA is like documentation, everybody recognizes the importance but nobody wants to take the time to do it.

      • robodruid

        Yea, but its cheaper than a T for C or T for D.

      • Gender Traitor

        ::shudders at the memory of working with QS 9000 documentation as a permatemp at Delphi Automotive::

    • straffinrun

      Luka, Joel or Yannis. Pick your MVP now and it isn’t the Joker this year.

    • rhywun

      And I see nothing wrong with it and we will welcome them with open arms and do everything we can to make their transition smooth.

      LOL wait til it’s buses every day.

      • hayeksplosives

        UK would like to give a 10 minute presentation on Albania.

  20. UnCivilServant

    Morning, Glibs.

    With any luck I’ve reset my sleep schedule well enough to have a normal week.

    • UnCivilServant

      Well, getting on the road. 🙁

  21. Lackadaisical

    Why does TOS have a hard on for Jared Polis?

    Some above hypothesized that TOS are just leftwing infiltrators… thoughts?

    • Suthenboy

      Yes.

  22. Lackadaisical

    Because I click Sean’s links and then get distracted, the Top story on the side (sex sells):

    https://ktla.com/news/husband-wife-lose-teaching-jobs-after-students-find-explicit-onlyfans-account/

    At first i found myself wondering why she got fired, eventually you find out:

    “Peer admitted that she made an explicit video in a school classroom and advertised it, but she said it was done after school hours on the weekend with no students present.”

    The sad thing is they also lost their OnlyFans account. I’m sure all the publicity has done them some good though.

    • Lackadaisical

      *one google image search later*

      Ooof, why would anyone pay to see that? >.>;

      • robodruid

        Well if you look at her redit (very NSFW), I’ll say that she approaches her hobby with gusto.

    • straffinrun

      I miss the good old days when you found out the hard way what makes your teacher orgasm.

  23. Gender Traitor

    Good morning, ‘bodru, Lack, U, rhy, Sean, and RoaT! (And good….evening? Straff!)

    Winter has set in for sure around here. I’m probably going to have to wear socks every day. I guess I’d better get more pairs that don’t suck. 😕

    • UnCivilServant

      Am I the only person here who is fully dressed by default?

      • Suthenboy

        No.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        No

      • Gender Traitor

        A lot of my warm weather shoes are styles I can wear sockless, and I’ve been getting by lately wearing knee-high hose. Snow, though, is a deal breaker. And I have too many different colors & styles of socks because I can’t find one color/style I like with everything. Pairing them up out of the laundry is a PITA.

      • UnCivilServant

        I’m boring, my entire collection of socks in current use are all black.

        (I used that phrasing because I have white socks in storage, they’re just ‘for evemergencies, though I have no idea what sort of emergency might require getting them out…”

      • Gender Traitor

        Being out of clean black socks, I guess – for some values of “emergency.”

      • UnCivilServant

        I would have run out of clean shirts and pants long before that threshold.

        But hey, at least I’ll have socks and underwear.

    • straffinrun

      Morning, GT. 🎩🧦

    • UnCivilServant

      Speaking more specifically of socks, I bought a bunch for my road trip, and the elastic turned out to be for chicken legs, so I’m still trying to break the darn things in. The material is nice and thick, and as soon as they stop impairing circulation, I’m sure that will be gone.

  24. straffinrun

    I’m getting conflicting signals coming out of the states. So y’all aren’t fat shaming and full of body acceptance, yet you advertising for the most part uses beautiful and fit people. C’mon and put your money where your mouth is and sell everything with repulsive humans.

    • Gender Traitor

      They’re starting to creep into TV commercials, kinda like interracial and/or same sex couples.

      • UnCivilServant

        I am so glad I’ve cut commercial advertizements out of my life.

        All I have to deal with these days are highway billboards along my commute. And only a few actually get noticed. One advertises a “Whiskey as bold ad New York” which I always quip “So – weak and cowardly?” but since it doesn’t actually list the brand name, I can’t tell you which one thought that was a good slogan.

      • Gender Traitor

        …and likewise thought it was a good idea not to list the brand name.

        I’m surprised (and occasionally annoyed) by ads on the electronic billboards that are designed and laid out (the ads, not the billboards) in such a way that it’s impossible to figure out what they’re for before the next ad pops up.

      • UnCivilServant

        You’ve only got a few seconds before either the sign or the car moves along, keep it simple.

      • Rat on a train

        Soon every commercial will include a trans couple.

      • UnCivilServant

        “Hi, I’m successfull small business owner and family man Trent Whiteman Senior. As the most endangered thing in advertising, I’m doing this commercial because it will catch your attention amidst the sea of formulaic adverts. Our product is…”

      • straffinrun

        Smokey and the Bandit?

      • Grosspatzer

        Isn’t that. TransAm couple?

      • straffinrun

        The overall context makes the amputee a little hotter.

      • Gender Traitor

        There’s some fashion-oriented ad playing lately (I’ve forgotten who it’s for) that features a very large Asian chick (Tres would be wracked with ambivalence) wearing allegedly high-fashion clothes that are very bright and very tight. I guess I’m just not hip and au courant enough to find that attractive.

      • UnCivilServant

        I can’t help it, I’m only svelte (or fit) and pale. Extra pounds do not appeal. I certainly don’t want someone who has as many as me.

      • Gender Traitor

        It doesn’t seem that long ago that “fashionistas” recommended ways to make your less attractive physical features less noticeable by wearing clothes that were more “flattering.” I wonder if What Not to Wear went out of production because such guidelines are now…out of fashion, and anything goes.

      • UnCivilServant

        I strongly suspect real people actually still want to look good.

        The problem with these companies is how long it takes them to burn through their reserves of cash. It’s astonishing how much of a parasitic load each productive unit can support.

      • straffinrun

        I want other people to look less good.

      • UnCivilServant

        why? Then you’re surrounded by (and have to look at) ugly people.

      • straffinrun

        I don’t need to be the bigger fish, just the more bangable one.

      • Rat on a train

        bigot

    • UnCivilServant

      “I know nothing.”

      • straffinrun

        Say that in Ukrainian and your their president.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        Say it in English and your Biden,
        😉

      • Grosspatzer

        If you’re smart, say “Sorry about that, chief.”

    • rhywun

      “I’m going to Disneyworld!”

    • PieInTheSky

      Was that wrong? Should I not have done that? I tell you, I gotta plead ignorance on this thing, because if anyone had said anything to me at all when I first started here that that sort of thing is frowned upon… you know, cause I’ve worked in a lot of offices, and I tell you, people do that all the time.

      • Sean

        lol

  25. Grosspatzer

    Mornin’, reprobates!

    • UnCivilServant

      Loss of Smell? Taste? Sight? Identity? Trouble hearing? If these you have any of these symptoms, you may be suffering from a condition known as Facial Amorphia. Facial Amorphia afflicts millions of people online every day. Do not give up hope, you too can once again live a normal life with Creantix.

      Do not take Creantix if you are allergic to Creantix. Creantix is not for people who are pregnant or nursing, or who may become pregnant or inflict pregnancy upon others. People who are mildly or severely overweight or who suffer from Facial Disforma should not take Creantix.

      Side effects may include sore throat, itchiness, insomnia, narcolepsy, lazy eye, muscle pain, hair loss, skin loss, memory loss, weight gain, vitiligo, hypermelanism, homicidal ideation, carpal tunnel, jaundice, bloody stools, ossification of the liver, and death. Ask your doctor is Creantix is right for you.

      Creantix – Focus your reality.

      • straffinrun

        Not a misthread and I calling this your best joke.

      • UnCivilServant

        It’s not a misthread, it’s a running gag.

      • straffinrun

        I still like it.

      • Grosspatzer

        Reality is lining up to kick the game-winning field goal and Lucy pulls the fucking football away at the last second and 100,000 people are laughing their asses off an you land on your ass. Reality is going to sleep as a fit twenty something and waking up as an old fart with multiple aches and pains and a ticket on a fast train to Hades. Fuck reality, I’m sticking with fantasy.

      • UnCivilServant

        You still haven’t figured it out? You kick Lucy’s head into the field goal, not the ball.

    • straffinrun

      Morning.

    • Gender Traitor

      Good morning, ‘patzie!

  26. straffinrun

    Over the past week I’ve seen conservative pundits pointing fingers, getting hang dog and claiming fraud. Well, maybe their are just more of them than you. If true what are they gonna do? Keep playing the losing hand because democracy?

    • robodruid

      Its a legitimate question.

    • Rat on a train

      The establishment will do what it always does after a loss. It will determine it needs to be Democrat Light. Instead of making a case for liberty it will just push for a slower descent to tyranny.

      • Fourscore

        Need to promise more ice cream. I know about all the problems, just give me more ice cream…The Dems understand this,

  27. straffinrun

    Daylight savings time bugs me. I gotta stay up past bedtime just for links? (No offense, Sean.)

    • PieInTheSky

      that is what you tell your wife you are doing? waiting for links?

      • straffinrun

        It sounds more natural in Japanese.

    • Rat on a train

      I support ending DST.

      • hayeksplosives

        I Support your support.

  28. UnCivilServant

    Dammit, my eyes are already tired.

    That’s not good, how am I supposed to get through the workday when I need to see my computer screen, and ‘resting my eyes’ is a firable offense?

    • PieInTheSky

      pour some lemon juice in it helps

      • UnCivilServant

        A: It’s counterrecommended in the owner’s manual.

        B: I’m at the office, so it’s unavailable.

      • straffinrun

        Just mouth the words “lemon juice”at a female coworker.

    • robodruid

      Your not resting your eyes, you are doing a recalibration of retina and doing a dark optic nerve check.

    • Sean

      1. Cut up some hot peppers with your bare hands.
      2. Rub your eyes.
      3. Profit.

      • UnCivilServant

        I would ask why you people hate me, but I don’t want the itemized list.

      • Fourscore

        Better than being ignored

  29. The Late P Brooks

    Keep daylight saving time. Stop changing the clocks.

    • PieInTheSky

      that was a week ago for you lot and 3 weeks ago for me. it is in the past. move on.

    • Fourscore

      It’s the changing of the clocks that’s hard. I never change the clock in my truck, it’s right 1/2 the time and not too accurate anyway.