IFLA: The “Happy New Year!” Edition of the Horoscope for the Week of January 1

by | Jan 1, 2023 | IFLA | 75 comments

Daisy and Lily on the trail

I hope everyone is having a good Hangover Day, and since this IS the beginning of 2023, I should probably put forth the effort of doing something in the way of a comprehensive look ahead.  You’ll get this instead.

Something to remember is that barring comets, most of the astrological year is cyclical annually — four of the astrological planets will pass through all the signs of the zodiac, some many times.  However, three of them will not, and it’s those that can influence the overall color of the year.  And naturally it’s the bad ones, so some of you will get to experience what it’s like having the skies against you more than others.

Mars (war, conflict, strife, rage) will pass through most of the sky, but not all:  Capricorn, Aquarius, Pisces and Aries will all be spared.  There will be no major naval battles in 2023.

Jupiter (happiness, rulership) starts off in Pisces, and that’s where it will have its most beneficent effects, while it will progress through to Gemini, that’s where it’s going to go retrograde so Gemini, Taurus and Aries are all going to experience both the upsides and downsides of authority.  At the end of the year, Jupiter will have only advanced one house past where it started.

Saturn (endings, time, harvest, slaughter, abortion, other generally bad things) makes even less progress than Jupiter.  It starts off in Aquarius, only making it as far as Aries by midyear, at which point it goes into retrograde motion allllll the way back past where it started in Aquarius.  December 31 shows it in the same sign it started in, leaving nothing but a lot of very unhappy people to show for it.  2023 is going to be a very bad year as far as famines and related shortages/deprivations go.  And while it may seem obvious that the poor will be hit hardest by this, there is a class difference implied by this year’s hunger signs pointing right at those on the bottom of the consumption ladder (water, fish, sheep).

So in summary:

2023 will be a lesser year —  Government worse than usual, but not as bad as it could be.  No major naval battles, but all sorts of other wars will happen, with a non-zero change of chemical weapons.  World economy increases but not by much, famine and deprivation over most of the world.  Nothing major in the arts.

The cards also aren’t thinking too highly of the incoming year.

Capricorn: The Empress reversed – Light, truth, the unravelling of involved matters, public rejoicings, vacillation.

Aquarius: King of Cups – Fair man, man of business, law, or divinity; responsible, equity, art and science, law, creative intelligence. 

Pisces: 4 of Swords reversed – Wise administration, circumspection, economy, avarice, precaution, testament.

Aries: 6 of Wands reversed – Apprehension, fear, treachery, disloyalty, indefinite delay.

Taurus: 9 of Wands – Strength in opposition, delay, suspension, adjournment.

Gemini: The High Priestess – Secrets, mystery, the future as yet unrevealed, silence, tenacity; mystery, wisdom, science. 

Cancer: The Chariot reversed – Riot, quarrel, dispute, litigation, defeat.

Leo: Knight of Coins – Utility, serviceableness, interest, responsibility, rectitude

Virgo: Knight of Wands reversed – Utility, serviceableness, interest, responsibility, rectitude

Libra: 2 of Cups – Love, passion, friendship, affinity, union, concord, sympathy

Scorpio: Queen of Coins – Opulence, generosity, magnificence, security, liberty. 

Sagittarius: Strength reversed – Despotism, abuse of power, weakness, discord, disgrace.

I only have two legs

About The Author

Not Adahn

Not Adahn

Despite all my rage, I am still just an impeccably dressed rat.

75 Comments

    • Drake

      Literally f’d her brains out.

      • Brochettaward

        That’s the same look UCS gave the hooker when he realized he had gone a little too far…

      • Don escaped Texas

        we were just playing a game….we’d played it before – Senator Pat Geary

  1. Rebel Scum

    Fair man, man of business, law, or divinity; responsible, equity, art and science, law, creative intelligence.

    Seems optimistic.

  2. Cowboy

    Scorpio: Queen of Coins – Opulence, generosity, magnificence, security, liberty

    Everything’s coming up Milhouse!

  3. Gender Traitor

    Scorpio: Queen of Coins – Opulence, generosity, magnificence, security, liberty.

    That’s for all year, not just this week, right? Right?? 😃

  4. Rufus the Monocled

    I’m Aquarius. The best sign, right?

    Also.

    Will Justin Trudeau get raped by an enraged sea otter on television?

    I’ll settle for: Will he be gone once and for all?

    • Rebel Scum

      Like Americans, the best to hope for right now is ignoring the dictates of the central government. Concentrate on local control. Keep the feds out and dare them to do anything about it.

      • Name's BEAM. James BEAM.

        Alberta says “Workin’ on it!”

      • Rufus the Monocled

        Fricking love Smith. She’s De Santis x2.

        She’s driving the lunatics mad.

      • Name's BEAM. James BEAM.

        Considering that most of the lunatics still believe in the failed and irrelevant Laurentian Consensus, that’s not hard to do.

        “The BNA Act? That old thing? Peter Hogg doesn’t think it’s important, so why should we?”

      • R.J.

        “To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and hear the Laurentian of the women…”

      • Gustave Lytton

        The Laurentian Consensus reminds me of the postwar consensus south of the border. With similar lamenting by those who were either the beneficiaries or who thought surface appearances are all that matters.

      • Rufus the Monocled

        Sound and wise advice.

    • Chafed

      I’m rooting for your first choice.

  5. MikeS

    Jupiter (happiness, rulership) starts off in Pisces, and that’s where it will have its most beneficent effects

    So I go that goin’ for me…

    • MikeS

      Pisces: 4 of Swords reversed – Wise administration, circumspection, economy, avarice, precaution, testament.

      Sounds boring, but I could use some of that stuff.

      • Don escaped Texas

        well, it worked for me until it didn’t – Ryan Day

    • Chafed

      I just assumed your wife is a Pisces.

      /euphemisms

  6. juris imprudent

    Apprehension, fear, treachery, disloyalty, indefinite delay.

    Fortunately this is not the week I speak with my financial adviser.

  7. The Late P Brooks

    Sagittarius: Strength reversed – Despotism, abuse of power, weakness, discord, disgrace.

    Avoid public speaking. Got it.

  8. The Late P Brooks

    Will Justin Trudeau get raped by an enraged sea otter on television?

    I’d rather see him gored and tossed into the air like Raggedy Andy by a buffalo, but that’s just me.

  9. Fourscore

    For friends, those dogs sure do fight a lot.

    I’ve never paid much attention to the Zodiac stuff, except when he was killin’ folks in CA. I don’t know my sign nor do I care but I do hope everyone’s New Year will be healthy and happy. We need a little rain in our lives, to make us grow stronger. Sun always shines afterwards, though it may take a little time.

  10. Rebel Scum

    Someone doesn’t understand his oath of office.

    Senator Ben Cardin (D-Md.) declared from the Senate floor recently that “hate speech” isn’t protected under the First Amendment, oddly citing draconian EU laws against speech as justification for a domestic crackdown

    • Bob Boberson

      The Constitution when it’s convenient.

    • Ted S.

      Every word Ben Cardin says is hate speech, including “and” and “the”.

    • EvilSheldon

      Cardin has spent his entire career being a trend-chasing piece of shit. This is nothing new.

      • Chafed

        Joe Biden waves hello.

  11. DEG

    The dog videos are great as usual.

    Utility, serviceableness, interest, responsibility, rectitude

    Huh.

  12. DEG

    Happy New Year everyone!

    • MikeS

      Happy 2023, DEG!

      • R.J.

        Happy New Year! I just woke up.

      • MikeS

        Now that’s how you make 2023 your bitch!

      • Ted S.

        I woke up around 5:00 AM.

      • juris imprudent

        It was probably still 2022 in Hawaii then.

      • R.J.

        I did wake at 6:00 AM, made a grocery shopping list, then decided it was better to continue slumbering.

  13. The Late P Brooks

    Senator Ben Cardin (D-Md.) declared from the Senate floor recently that “hate speech” isn’t protected under the First Amendment, oddly citing draconian EU laws against speech as justification for a domestic crackdown

    Wishful thinking. Those Euroweenies are much more sophisticated and wise than we are.

  14. Bob Boberson

    Libra: 2 of Cups – Love, passion, friendship, affinity, union, concord, sympathy

    Huzah! Reading the morning links it’s pretty easy to get discouraged on the trajectory our fellow countrymen and fearless leaders seems to be insisting we take. Despite all that, 2022 was the best year of my life. In the last year I switched to an infinitely better position at work and rarely take stress from the office home anymore, I got engaged and then married to the best woman I’ve ever known. I moved to a rural property that turned out to be a wonderful lifestyle change with barely any additional expense and now am headed out on a new life adventure with my wife in June that will take us out of the country for a while.

    Despite all the bullshit, life is good, God is good. I’m so thankful for what I have.

    • Rebel Scum

      I moved to a rural property that turned out to be a wonderful lifestyle change.

      Congrats. This is my goal as well.

      • Bob Boberson

        It’s temporary but it’s been an awesome change and hopefully a preview of what our lives will look like in 4-5 years…… providing working class people can still afford even a few acres by then.

      • Drake

        About to make an offer on a semi-rural* property. Just waiting for the local cable company to do an inspection to confirm that high-speed internet is available so can work there.

        *My wife considers it to be the middle-of-nowhere, I think it’s barely far enough from the crowds.

      • Fourscore

        Semi-rural? How far is the nearest refreshment stand? Gravel road?

      • Gustave Lytton

        Congratulations to both of you! I can see my neighbor so not really rural, but finally got fiber a year ago. Still not used to having it at home.

    • CPRM

      Bob Boberson on January 1, 2023 at 10:57 am
      I’m getting pretty black pilled on ‘your people’. Recently I’ve had a lot of interactions with people in their 20’s and it seems like s many of them, even ones who could be considered normie, take all it as a given that all non-icky people are for all the nonsense you listed above…..

      I despised high-school for the vapid and vacuous popularity contest that it was and I was glad to be done with it. 20 years later I feel like I’m still in it on a national scale.

      So you’re say High School Never Ends.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Russ Tamblin replaces Chance the President as the national spirit animal.

    • R.J.

      Your 2022 is a fine thing.
      Don’t take the black pill. Just take it out of your pocket and look at it every once and a while.

    • Chafed

      I’m glad you had a great year Bob. Here’s hoping it rubs off on all of us.

    • juris imprudent

      When we end up with a smoking crater in this country – preferably inside the Beltway of DC.

    • Drake

      Long ago. The western media can’t begin to understand that all likely Putin successors / replacements would be far more hostile and less patient towards the west.

    • Gustave Lytton

      I’m sort of surprised there haven’t been unexplained explosions at the NATO training camps in Poland or Germany.

    • Chafed

      When we carryout the attacks. In the meantime, Putin can sit on a broken bottle.

  15. The Late P Brooks

    Despite all that, 2022 was the best year of my life.

    Awesome!

  16. Tonio

    Okay, the dog videos don’t work for me. They don’t preview as they normally do; just a big white space with a “play” control. Anyone else, Bueller, anyone?

    • Tonio

      Upon further testing this only happens in Windows/Firefox. Windows/Edge the videos preview and play properly.

  17. The Late P Brooks

    Okay, the dog videos don’t work for me.

    They appear to be functional.

    Don’t tell anybody, but I never watch them.

  18. The Late P Brooks

    The Hapless Broncos are in K C today.

    Try to make a game of it.

  19. Grosspatzer

    • Grosspatzer

      “The High Priestess – Secrets, mystery, the future as yet unrevealed, silence, tenacity; mystery, wisdom, science.”

      This phone is a mystery.

  20. EvilSheldon

    Cancer: The Chariot reversed – Riot, quarrel, dispute, litigation, defeat.

    Sounds like I’ll get to try out my new two-stamp AR. Hooray for me, I guess…

    • Drake

      Short-barrel & suppressor? Truly evil.

    • R.J.

      *Considers speaking, changes mind…

    • Don escaped Texas

      just donate yourself to Dr Bass’s Farm

  21. Brochettaward

    I am pleased to see that someone besides myself stepped up to First around here. Shirley Knott – great fucking work. MikeS, continue to sit in the corner with your dunce cap, but turn around for a brief moment and take notes on how this shit is done.

    • Brochettaward

      It makes my Firsting dick hard. GOOD FUCKING WORK

      • juris imprudent

        Crossing your streams there Bro?

  22. Animal

    Happy New Year, you wonderful nuts.

  23. Gustave Lytton

    Pham Ngoc Phuong Anh from last thread has some nice pictures, even apart from the yellow dress.

  24. Tundra

    Happy New Year, NA!

    Looking forward to another year of Lily and the stars!