I finally got my parts! A friend dropped by with an ultra diode and a few caps. Now with the right parts I had the Compensator running, so I dialed up and went home.
I hadnât seen the Family for fifty years or so, and had to resort to an obscure website for information, but I was glad to be back in the 23rd century. I made my report to the Time Pigs, always trying to fuck up your time line, but I made it through intact.
Next to find the wife. After running the data, I found her place and went to say hello. Big mistake. It turns out fifty years was too long, so she divorced me in absentia, declared me dead and took my assets! I honestly expected it, and had some scratch hidden drawing interest, so I wasnât worried, but jeez! At least send me a tight beam with the paperwork.
I had a few side girls in the 23C. But nothing like Tangent, a 21C gal like never before. Pretty, vivacious and strong — I knew I had to return. The Time Pigs had other ideas: why was I going back? How was I going to screw up the timeline this time? Yeah, I did it once, but I learned my lesson! I got a provisional license, which means nothing other than Go!
Next was the hard part: where? A small town in Michigan, USA. When? Late summer 2021. From there it’s trying to find her and see if she remembers me, otherwise I start over. Even that isnât a bad thing: if the timeline isnât affected, the results are the same, and I will find her.
âIs it really you?â There she was, Tangent. She looked like she had seen a ghost.
âYeah, it’s me! How are ya!â I tried to act casual, but as usual my awkwardness set in.
âGreat, where have you been?â
âOh. I took a few days off,â I replied.
âDays? I havenât seen you for a year, to this day! Where have you been?â
Crap! Do I break the rules and tell her? Or just fake it? Screw it, she was why I came back.
âTangent, I have something to tell you, itâs kind of odd.” I hate this part of time relationships.
âOkey dokey, Iâm just glad to see you again.”
âOK, I am a time traveler from the 23C. And I came back to find you.”
Looking puzzled, she replied, âWhatever you say, Iâm just glad you are here.”
So T, wanna go play some Big Golf? You know where Iâm going with this.
âLemme guess, you’re going to take me through time and play the best shots in the universe, right?â
âDammit! It was supposed to be a surprise. Wanna go?â
âHow could I miss this?â So we were set for a game.
Europa to Mars, we hit par. Mars to Mercury, I birdied and her disc burnt up in the Sun, bad shot. Then the big shot, Venus to Neptune, and a moving target, she hit 110km from the basket. I shanked around Io and lost my disc to the Big World and took double Bogie. She parred. We took a few days off for some maintenance sex and texting, then we played the back nine.
We played the par 5 from 23C Earth to 21C Mars and we both birdied, then had to take cover while the Vogons rolled through, but there was still enough system for the last three holes.
After we finished dinner and drinks at my estate, we spoke of the game and how she beat me by two strokes. After dinner I popped the question, “You know how I feel about you and want the best for you, so how about a sponsorship?â
âBut, I thought…”
âYou thought wrong, kid. You play great, and with resources you can dominate the system, so play for me, OK?â
So it was settled, we returned to Mars and and parted again. My people would see that she had what she needed. I think I shall make another trip to the void. I was told to head to L5 and look for the elusive green flash, and so I shall.
Getting a lot better Yusef. Fun little read
…maintenance sex and texting…
I’d feel like a Space Lord, mother-
*hums some Monster Magnet*
I am a Time Lord, TYVM
You trying to induce terminal, violent jealousy in Bro?
As for the green flash – good luck; never seen one even when the conditions were supposedly right. I’ll shoot for an aurora instead.
A Firster is incapable of jealousy. It is one of the Eleven Virtues of Firtuosity.
Say what now?
Let’s do the time warp again
It’s just a jump to the left.
*throws toast*
The “Pretty, vivacious and strong.” lady mentioned below took me to see “Rocky Horror Picture Show” in the big city of Minneapolis a long time ago.
Run.
So far away
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iIpfWORQWhU&ab_channel=AFlockOfSeagullsVEVO
I have this album. I always liked this song.
My hair is starting to look like that.
Perhaps I need a haircut.
/after the purchase of the house.
I apologize if i break 30 min rule…..
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-11831303/U-S-says-Ukraine-group-Nord-Stream-pipe-bombing.html
Maybe someone realized blowing up a german pipeline is not a good idea.
Country most likely the culprit magically points out it wasn’t them.
It’s pretty shameless. Even if some pro-Ukraine group did it, it is guaran-fucking-teed that the US planned, paid for, and helped them do it.
The best case scenario is we used them as a proxy. People still have their heads in the sand on this. The only reason it hasn’t blown up is that the European allies are secretly happy it happened because it made it easier for them to do what they wanted to do without having to worry about those pesky proles howling to pump more gas from Russia. And Putin is smart enough to know that his hands are really tied here, even if the US did commit a blatant act of war.
Well… allies not named “Germany”, maybe.
Many of them, BTW, are still buying tons of NG from Russia.
While it is entirely against Germany’s national interests, and any rational German actually concerned with the good of Germany would be angry, the people in charge there are neither of those things. So, they will tepidly express anger publicly but sit on their hands and never call America out for it as long as their is some plausible deniability because behind closed doors they are just happy that it is no longer something their political opponents can use against them.
If there had been a harsh winter and Germany had access to that pipeline, there may have been a revolt among the German people.
Supporting Ukraine is more important to the people running Germany than having enough natural gas for Germans to heat their homes during the winter.
Fair enough, given that the folx running Germany are probably doing so against the interests of the German people in the same manner as the folx who are running the United States.
Like the US government?
Looks like you got your groove back. I guess there really is no place like home.
Maybe, thanksđ
I chased a girl like that for a while (not through time, of course).
THANK ZEUS I let that one slip through my hands.
I totally agree
I think Garth Brooks sang a song about “un-answered prayers”. Limey would appreciate it if he was still around…
Also, I spent 2 hours working on a fucking Kia Soul this past weekend. Installed a new (to my girlfriend) fan control (her birthday present, I’m more a practical guy than a romantic guy.). To get the fan control dial in, I had to remove the radio bezel, the center shift console, the fuse box cover, the driver’s knee kick plate, the glove box, and the passenger’s side transition from side wall to door thresh hold. I somehow lost two screws and some skin on my knuckles.
I don’t like Korean design engineers at this moment.
I like it, Yusef!
This could work as a stand-alone or as the beginning of a serial.
Thanks, it’s a one and done, maybe…đť
Yusef, if you have indeed gone back to California, I have to ask if you retained the piece of paper I left with you in the move.
I refuse to believe the two of you have met in person. The combined secondry of the two of you in the same location would have to cause some sort of seriously disastrous consequences for the Firstiverse. Entire Firstlines would have imploded.
I was with them both.
Now we are talking about the equivalent of a neutron bomb being dropped on our Firstality. Do you know how much time it will take for me to unfuck what you three have done?
I was there too. Honey Harvest 2022.
Perhaps, maybe, fisting isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. Maybe if you actually contributed something…
Mike S. was there as well. He, at least, makes me laugh.
What a retched hive (that is not a pun) of scum and secondry.
I may need a fourth eye to sort this all out.
tedious and without any charm
What am I? Chopped Flavor-Aid?!
I’m happy to see Lamar Jackson’s poorly laid plans are blowing up in his face. The Panthers, Dolphins, and Falcons have all leaked that they won’t pursue him. Already, like half of the teams who would have been potential suitors are out.
He is offensively stupid from representing himself to then sitting out a playoff game to send a message to the Ravens. He didn’t seem to realize that he would be sending a message to every other team in the league that he couldn’t be relied on. Either he was the leader and face of the franchiser who let a contract situation in which he is making ridiculous demands influence his decision, or he was too hurt to play (his way, at least) and it shows teams that even a relatively minor knee injury is enough to keep him out even the most important games. But he thinks if he can create some bidding war teams are going to back up the brinks truck in fully guaranteed dollars.
Patrick Mahomes had a high ankle sprain and played winning a ring. Anyone think Lamar Jackson would have played with the same?
The usual suspects will come out and claim racism and collusion amongst teams when this really is a case where it just requires a small bit of common sense from the GM’s.
Maybe he can abuse some dogs. Then Jeff Lurie will pick him up for the Iggles.
Got a link?
Yeah, his sitting out the game was enormously stupid. It’s nice to see it coming home to roost.
I enacted the labor for you. Because apparently my Firsting is not enough for some people.
That article’s assertion of collusion amongst teams/NFL may or be true generally, but Jackson is not the player to hang that hypothesis on.
Whycome no team gave RGIII the fully guaranteed contract he deserved after he blowed out his knee!!?? He earned it!
Thanks
I don’t think he is wrong for trying to get the Deshaun Watson contract. It’s just every other NFL team clearly thinks it is a bad contract, because it is. The current top 4 contracts (by average per year) are all terrible. Mahomes sits at #5.
Daniel Jones and Derek Carr both just got top 10 contracts. It is impossible to argue they are top 10 talents, but along with being the most recent guys to sign, both contracts are not fully guaranteed and have incentives in them.
Lamar declined the Ravens offer of more total than Watson but less guaranteed. Looks like he is going to find out they were being more than fair.
@Cowboy, I feel left behind. I had nowhere to go after ephedrine and totally missed that everbody had gone elsewhere for their stack. đ˘
World Baseball Classic opens tonight in Taiwan with a great matchup between the Netherlands and Cuba.
The Netherlands has a baseball team?
Mostly players from Curaçao, though the Netherlands proper does have a professional baseball league.
Yes. Exactly. Netherlands probably has the most competitive professional league in Europe. Itâs kind of a thing there. I mean, itâs not soccer, but they do put out some good baseball players, even if they generally arenât good enough for the top leagues. The best players on the WBC team are from Curaçao, with one from St. Maarten.
Yeah. And theyâre good. Maybe the best defensive infield in the tournament, with Gregorius, Simmons, Bogaerts, snd Schoop.
Just beat Cuba (which has recently allowed players whoâve defected to play for their national team) 4-2.
For those who have been in too many (any) group meals when it came time to pay.
https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/us/man-s-parody-of-jesus-paying-the-bill-at-the-last-supper-is-internet-gold/ar-AA18k10K?ocid=msedgdhp&pc=U531&cvid=a7fece9cfef44847b95eaba31e8dcb62&ei=50
Given that he was all-knowing, you’d think he could’ve hit Judas up for a chunk of it. “Hey man, got any extra silver for the bill?”
Jolene has something to say to Dolly.
Good morning. đâ
Happy midweek!
Good morning, Sean and Roat! Happy Friday Eve…Eve?
Happy Wotan’s Day.
Good morning, U!
How goes things in your neck of the woods?
I am not in a neck of the woods or neck of a river.
Well, thank you! I think this is my boss’s WFH day, so that cuts down on interruptions. Barring any unforeseen crises or stupidity, I may work up the motivation to do a bunch more scanning and purging of old paperwork. And you?
I’d rather be in any body part of the woods. Well…maybe not where the bears are.
I’m still fighting my instincts to self-sabotage my sleep schedule, and this training is too late. I spend my whole morning waiting for it to start, and there’s no time in the afternoon. Worse, nothing is open before it starts or after it wraps.
You don’t want to be in the ass of the woods.
Ugh! They really must roll up the sidewalks early! đ
They really must roll up the sidewalks early!
where the local Walmart closes at 8PM
Good morning, Rat and Sean!
Happy International Women’s Day! âłď¸*ď¸âŁ*
…..
âłď¸ International Women’s Day is not exclusive to persons born with 2 XX chromosomes, Klinefelter’s Syndrome, or Turner Syndrome. Don’t be a bigot.
*ď¸âŁ The best way to celebrate International Women’s Day is to focus on Transwomen, particularly if they still sport their original XY tackle. Don’t be a bigot
* Unclear if one must have been born at the border between UN-recognized nations to be an International Woman. Don’t be a bigot.
Too many caveats.
Don’t be a bigot
Don’t tell me what to do.
I will continue to be biased against commies, and nothing you say can change that.
I spent a few hours in southern Ontario once as a kid. Does that count?
Sure, GT, International Woman of Mystery!
Good mornin’ to ya!
Good morning! How’s the new job going?
It’s going! The technical challenges are immense–this is going to take a lot of really good minds working together to pursue various paths, eliminate what doesn’t work, and move on with what does. Really exciting though!
I have a small team of 5 people reporting to me. I started having our “1 on 1” meetings yesterday. Holy cow–what a bunch! They are all smart and talented, but a couple of them are going to take an inordinate amount of shepherding for a while. It’s weird to inherit a group of guys that I did not choose. But ya play the hand you are dealt.
Glad to hear things are getting settled in after the recent disruptions, HE.
Unclear if one must have been born at the border between UN-recognized nations to be an International Woman.
Dual citizenship should count as international. Perhaps immigrants do as well.
Whoopi Goldbergâs a goddamned moron, Exhibit 319,028:
https://twitter.com/charliekirk11/status/1633195577289871360?cxt=HHwWgMDQka-uo6otAAAA
I was busy as hell yesterday and havenât had time to look into it very closely, whatâs yâallâs take on the released footage?
It confirms that keeping the accused “insurrectionists” in jail without charges for months is exactly the kind of railroad job we all thought it was.
The Shaman “confessed” because it seemed like his best option after whatever he endured in jail. He’s not the brightest bulb and just wanted to go home.
The family of Sicknik probably was coached up by the feds to believe he truly was attacked and killed by an unruly mob.
Nancy Pelosi is evil.
The MSM is compliant and clearly coordinating with one another to push the rebellion Narrative. They are all disappointed that they failed to whip the crowd into a BLM/Occupy/ style frenzy of violence.
Did I miss anything?
Ah, so important information that mostly benefits one side and implicates the other that will be studiously ignored and the messenger smeared.
See also: The Twitter Files
I had two takeaways:
The Committeeâs âworkâ has now been conclusively proven to be a complete fraud and propaganda.
Buffalo Hat Guy was completely set up and framed. Unfortunately, most plea deals are for a guilty plea sworn in court under oath, so thereâs not a damn thing that can be done about it now.
The big unknown, which we will likely never know: How many of the people who instigated and performed the attacks on police and the violence were feds or working for the feds? We know there were antifa there (the guy egging Babbitt on when she got shot, and was never, as far as I know, arrested or charged with anything). And, of course, Ray Epps. But who knows who else?
Not surprising, agents provocateur seeded in a peaceful crowd to promote unrest is a time-honored tradition.
Yesterday after work, my old crew from my previous job (and now my colleagues at the new one) and I all went out for dinner, along with a new hire. Good stuff.
However, one of them said to me “You look tired.”
That’s the one thing worse to tell a woman than “Have you put on weight?”
I’m sure it was meant out of concern and not malice.
Yeah, it’s a bunch of engineers. They aren’t accustomed to social graces.
Thing is, I’d gone back to my room, put visine in, refreshed my makeup, and fluffed my hair. I thought I looked pretty good.
I guess the drama I’m still dealing with outside of business hours is starting to show.
It would probably help if I could stay asleep until 6:30 AM instead of pinging awake in the middle of the night.
(Going back to bed for at least a catnap now)
I may have said something like that to Mrs. Patzer yesterday afternoon. I was wondering why the house got rather chilly.
Brought down a prime minister once.
There it is.
That’s where my mind went. đ
Mornin’, reprobates!
Good morning, ‘patzie! How are you and yours?
Getting better, thanks.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=EGlo9LzmOME&pp=ygUWZ2V0dGluZyBiZXR0ZXIgYmVhdGxlcw%3D%3D
Now this right here is cool. Wild lynx caught on a trail cam. What a magnificent kitty cat.
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-11833857/Majestic-lynx-filmed-roaring-stalking-snowy-Maine-forest.html
Very nice. A little early for morning lynx, though.
Overnight Lynx?
They tend to be nocturnal.
Extended footage from the guy’s youtube vid. (I skipped over his intro in his truck. Show me the kitties!)
Their sounds are not what I would have expected.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9GAw_eEk_p4
Right?! It sounds like someone is being tortured.
https://nypost.com/2023/03/07/desantis-asks-biden-if-novak-djokovic-can-enter-florida-by-boat/
“It is also not clear to me why, even by the terms of your own proclamation, Mr. Djokovic could not legally enter this country via boat,â the Florida governor added. âPlease confirm no later than Friday, March 10, 2023, that this method of travel into Florida would be permissible.â
Alternate headline:
“DeSantis extends invitation to an influx of boat people”
âThe Florida governor went on to say that Bidenâs administration had also âpointedly allowed thousands of unvaccinated migrants to enter our country through the southern border.â
Itâs not thousands, its millions. And calling them âmigrantsâ is once again using the language of the Left and ceding critical territory to them. Technically, the broad term âmigrantsâ is true, but the term âillegal immigrantsâ is more accurate.
The term illegal alien is accurate.
THIS RIGHT HERE!!!
I have been saying for a few years now that the term migrant has been completely misappropriated (HAH!).
In my distant yoot, Migrant referred to workers who’d come up from Mexico (legally or illegally) during the planting season, go home, come back at harvest, and go home. Migratory according to the labor demand, and nearly always working, not grifting or draining any welfare system. There was a certain respect accorded to them for their willingness to work hard for themselves and their families, and yeah, it was work that certain “Americans” wouldn’t do. Migratory animals move around according to seasonal needs too. Very accurate term.
Now we are supposed to think that anybody entering America illegally to disappear or collect checks or whatever is a “Migrant”. The United Kingdom is overwhelmed by “Migrants” from North Africa, Albania, Middle East. But they don’t come to work, and they don’t come to assimilate and become British or American. They aren’t blind and can see that they can whinge their way into getting perpetual handouts from the White Man and the former Colonialists. Nevermind the rape gangs; it’s a cultural difference, you see.
Migratory animals go back home cyclically. These guys have no such intent.
Apparently it’s true: African swallows are non-migratory.
“Quiet, you.”
/every other male participant at Indian Wells
suh’ fam
whats goody
Since this is my “Saturday night”….TALL CANS!
Stossel with a ray of hope.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZKMkyCk03xM