Simping for Schwarzenegger

by | Feb 4, 2023 | Beer, Economy, Food & Drink, Markets, Musings, National Security | 160 comments

Everywhere we look, signs of impending doom cross our paths…

This is my review of Dormaal Fam Brewey Tripel:

Being born the year of The Terminator has its perks.  It’s culturally relevant enough that most people are aware of when the movie was released but not necessarily the exact year.  Its also a movie that features killer robots taking over the world.

Everywhere you see it.  Killer robots impacting multiple sectors of the economy.  Killer robots impacting culture because they can now produce long-winded narratives with a simple prompt, rendering people like me who produce written content for free—pretty much useless.  This is a development with truly mixed consequences for me:  On one hand, somebody like me with an advanced degree is going to have a hard time competing with a killer robot.  On the other hand, at least nobody will be blaming Mexicans for taking their jobs anymore.

Nope. Your dad will lose his job to a killer robot—located in Mexico.

As bad as it may seem, I humbly submit that AI is not the worst development our culture has ever produced.  No, the worst thing our culture has ever produced is SIMPING.

What is a simp?  Here’s an example:

It doesn’t even have to be women.  People simp for anything.  Sports heroes, celebrities, their parents—Trump.  This has completely taken over our culture over the course of centuries, the latest example of degeneracy being the trial balloon of lab grown meat cultured from celebrities:

A company called BiteLabs is looking to market human test-tube meat, and that’s not even the weirdest part. They’re hoping to get celebrities like James Franco, Ellen DeGeneres, Jennifer Lawrence, and Kanye West on board to donate tissue samples that will eventually become salami.

And we complain about eating bugs? Look at these sick fucks.

 

Coming from a Belgian Estate dating back to the 13th century this is simply a Tripel done painstakingly well.  Fragrant notes of honey, pepper, and light fruit, are backed with a subtle lemon finish.  Pair it with seafood, or creamy dishes but not a lab grown chorizo cultured from cells gathered from Gwyneth Palthrow’s vagina. Dormaal Fam Brewey Tripel: 4.6/5 8%ABV

About The Author

mexican sharpshooter

mexican sharpshooter

WARNING: Glibertarians.com contains chemicals known to the State of California to cause cancer and birth defects or other reproductive harm. https://youtu.be/qiAyX9q4GIQ?t=2m22s

160 Comments

  1. Count Potato

    “They’re hoping to get celebrities like James Franco, Ellen DeGeneres, Jennifer Lawrence, and Kanye West on board to donate tissue samples that will eventually become salami.”

    But not Arnold?

    • Count Potato

      The Terminator was covered in lab-grown meat.

      • Chafed

        That seems like a massive oversight.

    • SDF-7

      Mainly Keanu.

      I mean come ON… that’s the most obvious link/ref ever…

      • Scruffyy Nerfherder

        I argue that simping has increased along with the feminization of the culture.

        It’s gross and pathetic, really.

      • Scruffyy Nerfherder

        Gilmore’d… oh well

      • Ownbestenemy

        Its because we are in our unnatural state of relative freedom of kings and queens and believing we do not need them

      • Scruffyy Nerfherder

        I suppose. It’s not my bag, but I guess it is for some.

    • MikeS

      Too bad Charlton Heston isn’t still with us.

      • SDF-7

        SOYBOY RED IS PEOPLE!!!

      • mexican sharpshooter

        We’re going to have to simp for damn dirty apes?

  2. SDF-7

    And I’ve always thought the GOOP candle was a fraud. No proof… just smelled fishy to me.

    • MikeS

      Don’t be such a cunte.

    • mexican sharpshooter

      Ew

    • Animal

      Scented candles give me a haddock anyway.

    • Aloysious

      That whole story is a Red Herring.

    • JaimeRoberto (carnitas/spicy salsa)

      I’d get one just for the halibut.

  3. The Late P Brooks

    The desperate quest for external validation is a well known flaw in the human psyche.

    Get the fuck over it.

    • Scruffyy Nerfherder

      I aim to disappoint others.

  4. Gustave Lytton

    Paying for fake intimacy. How is this new?

    • Scruffyy Nerfherder

      I suppose $10K for a hug is a new twist.

      Inflation is rampant.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Revealed preference or winner’s curse?

    • mexican sharpshooter

      In the before times, at least you got more than a hug.

      • Ownbestenemy

        This is why I teach my kids to negotiate the terms before hand

      • Gustave Lytton

        Or put a ring on it with a lot bigger checks and still end up with blue balls.

      • Chafed

        Sounds like the voice of experience.

        /been there done that

      • juris imprudent

        You think the ring is expensive? Wait until you pay for the divorce!

  5. LCDR_Fish

    Sorry, been really busy all week and next two weeks are more of the same in CA.

    Can anyone send an original link that prompted the discussion from last week about CA wanting to tax people moving out of state for several years after they’d left?

    Thanks.

  6. The Late P Brooks

    Why not something at least a little bit sensible, like lab grown whale meat?

    • mexican sharpshooter

      Fuck that, I want real whales. Lets crowdfund whale farms.

      • MikeS

        We could set it up under the Great Pacific Garbage Pile. As long as no Chinese spy balloons flew over it, nobody would ever know.

      • mexican sharpshooter

        It would probably be a huge hit in Japan, now that I think about it.

      • mexican sharpshooter

        Nice.

      • mexican sharpshooter

        Yes. Yes I did.

        *hangs head in shame*

      • rhywun

        They’re piling up on east coast beaches. Come on over and grab one for yourself.

  7. Warty

    They’re hoping to get celebrities like James Franco, Ellen DeGeneres, Jennifer Lawrence, and Kanye West on board to donate tissue samples that will eventually become salami.

    “Fuck you, asshole.”

    • MikeS

      Lab grown celebrity asshole meat?

      /HM signal has been lit.

    • Ownbestenemy

      Fried asshole will he the new chicharróns

      • MikeS

        I was thinking calamari rings.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Real potential for a budding cottage industry it seems.

      • MikeS

        The tag line can be “Tastes so good you’ll want to nip it in the butt everyday!”

      • Ownbestenemy

        An asshole in every pot

  8. The Late P Brooks

    This is what just popped into my head:

    That(purportedly) Chinese balloon should have advertisements on it, Blade Runner style.

    • SDF-7

      What, the like the “Happy Valentine’s Day, Eric! Love, Fang Fang!” memes?

  9. The Late P Brooks

    I argue that simping has increased along with the feminization of the culture.

    “One true love”

    “Can’t live without you”

  10. SDF-7
  11. The Late P Brooks

    Roasted, or fried?

    Zoo officials in New York City are trying to recover a Eurasian eagle owl that escaped its enclosure on Thursday night.

    The owl, who lives in the Central Park Zoo and is named Flaco, was discovered missing around 8:30 p.m. Its exhibit “had been vandalized and the stainless steel mesh cut,” according to a statement from the zoo.

    ——-

    After that, Flaco was found perched in a tree near the zoo, where staff stayed with the bird through the night, according to the zoo’s statement.

    It flew into Central Park at sunrise on Friday, and zoo employees “continue to have visual contact.” A Twitter page that follows birds in New York City shared a video that appears to show him high in a tree in the park.

    Sounds like the work of the Army of the Twelve Monkeys.

    • rhywun

      The eats are probably way better on the outside. They’ll find him in couple weeks too bloated to move after a steady diet of rats and pigeons.

    • Chafed

      Or the same group grabbing monkeys from the Dallas Zoo.

      • Spudalicious

        It was one guy and they caught him.

    • MikeS

      Surprised they didn’t find one where the white kid is about to hit a black kid.

    • Scruffyy Nerfherder

      It wouldn’t be appropriate to use a still from the video.

  12. The Late P Brooks

    How about this:

    The Chinese balloon is mapping their newly acquired farmland, in preparation for planting season. What will they plant?

    • rhywun

      That was my thought.

    • R C Dean

      Rice?

  13. The Late P Brooks

    Scented candles give me a haddock anyway.

    Not a chub?

  14. The Late P Brooks

    The eats are probably way better on the outside. They’ll find him in couple weeks too bloated to move after a steady diet of rats and pigeons.

    Seriously. That reminds me of a clip I saw a while back of a hawk divebombing a rat in a trash can in NYC.

    • rhywun

      One of those BBC nature shows had a segment on some species of hawk that is now more numerous in NYC than anywhere else because the food is so plentiful and the tall buildings make dive-bombing easier.

      • MikeS

        Sounds like the Peregrine falcon.

      • Mojeaux

        My dad worked at KC City Hall. When I was a kid, he took me up to the top to see the peregrine falcon nests. I can’t remember if the city built nesting boxes for them or not (probably not), but they were highly encourated to nest there.

      • LCDR_Fish

        A lot of the parking lots on base at Dahlgren (and Little Creek) have Osprey nests at the top of the light fixtures. I think some are encouraged while others just show up. They do some monitoring overflights to count across the base once or twice a year.

      • MikeS

        Cool. Their natural habitat is the sides of bluffs and such, but they’ve adapted quite well to city life. Grand Forks, ND has had them nesting on a water tower for years. Every spring they band the chicks. Every so often there will be a story about where they’ve been found as adults. I know Winnipeg has them nesting there. I can’t recall where else they’ve found them.

        Nature is far more resilient than the Church of Gaia would like to admit (and most of their useful idiots probably don’t even know). They just focus on the Delta Smelt and other species on the edge that very possibly would be extinct even without man being around.

      • R C Dean

        “that very possibly would be extinct even without man being around”

        My thought exactly.

      • Mojeaux

        Pandas.

        If it can’t survive without artificial insemination, it doesn’t deserve to survive.

      • UnCivilServant

        It’s a species whose digestive tract is tooled for digesting meats and fruits but spends its days eating low-nutrient bamboo. So they can’t afford the energy to do anything but eat all day long.

      • LCDR_Fish

        UCS – always reminds me of the lion in Futurama – that was “taught to be vegan”. Kinda similar with the koalas who spend all day eating a toxic plant (eucalyptus).

      • UnCivilServant

        Maybe someday the city will be fit for human habitation.

  15. robc

    Sean Dyche hire is already paying off.

  16. Mojeaux

    Today I am studying how to code nitpicky circulatory diseases. My heart’s just not in it.

    • Raven Nation

      Boo!

      • Gender Traitor

        No, no! You’re supposed to respond in a similar vein!

      • Scruffyy Nerfherder

        alright, alright, don’t have a stroke already

      • MikeS

        Raven Nation isn’t in tune to the pulse of Glibs I guess.

      • UnCivilServant

        Needs more time circulating among us?

      • SDF-7

        Just under a bit of pressure.

      • Sean

        I aorta give ya a narrowed gaze.

    • R C Dean

      So you’re saying it’s a pain in the neck?

      • Mojeaux

        It’s going right for the jugular.

  17. Aloysious

    Simping is the product of being lonely and weak.

    Simping isn’t Stoic. (I read ron’s Friday post)

  18. Scruffyy Nerfherder

    Yay, it’s economic census time.

  19. The Late P Brooks

    Listen up, dummies

    “We’re getting a lot of deflationary signals, but the Fed isn’t buying in yet,” Wood said, referring to the Federal Reserve’s continuing interest-rate increases.

    “But the bond market will start to convince the Fed,” Wood said. “The bond market is telegraphing much lower-than-expected inflation and/or recession.”

    That prediction seemed to be validated Feb. 1 when the Federal Open Market Committee (FOMC) raised interest rates by only 25 basis points. That was smaller than the 50 basis points it had raised them by in December and the 75 basis points it had increased the rates by in each of its previous four meetings.

    The Fed seemed to have been recognizing the deflationary signs.

    “The bond market always leads the Fed, and the bond market is speaking loudly,” Wood had said.

    “We are seeing a lot of deflation in the pipeline,” she had said, referring to lower commodity prices and discounts at retailers.

    The only reason I would pay attention to Cathie Wood is as a guide for what not to do.

    • Chafed

      She and Jim Cramer should start a fund. We could then short everything they buy.

    • Scruffyy Nerfherder

      lower commodity prices

      LOL. Sure.

    • Scruffyy Nerfherder

      The bond market always leads the Fed

      Won’t she be surprised when she realizes the Fed Put is dead and gone.

  20. The Late P Brooks

    Yay, it’s economic census time.

    *whistles “Happy Days Are Here Again!”*

  21. The Late P Brooks

    Wood also said she still believes the value of a bitcoin will reach $1 million during the next ten years.

    Excuse me. I have to go find something to mop the coffee up off my computer.

    • Chafed

      I want her drugs.

      • R.J.

        Well, considering the dollar will be worth .001 cent in the near future, it might equal 1 million American dollars.

      • Scruffyy Nerfherder

        The relevant question is whether the Fed will put BTC on its balance sheet.

        If it does, I can see that happening. And JP Morgan didn’t put BTC on its balance sheet without taking that into consideration.

    • R C Dean

      Hard to reconcile that with deflation, no?

    • Mojeaux

      Yeah, Bitcoin was a killer speculation in 2008 when I wanted to buy it [insert rant here] at $1,000. My husband won $100 in Bitcoin at, I think $30,000ish and I sold it at $58,000ish. I knew it had peaked (but I’m gifted like that). I’m not getting back into it.

  22. R C Dean

    That beer sounds like it might be the beer I would pick if I could only have one the rest of my life.

    The 3D memes are 👍🏼

  23. The Late P Brooks

    Hard to reconcile that with deflation, no?

    Something something two completely contradictory notions simultaneously…

  24. Scruffyy Nerfherder

    Now THAT is a classic choice of words.

  25. The Bearded Hobbit

    Those of you who have met me know that I am a rather stout person with white hair and beard.

    I was walking from the hotel to get something out of the car and some urchins on bicycles caught up to me calling, “Santa, Santa!”

    I turned around and said, “Yep, you got me.”

    “Are you really Santa.”

    “Sure am.”

    The kid thought for about 3 seconds and asked, “Can I have a KTM 450 for Christmas?”

    “Sure, you got it.”

    His little friend asked, “And can I have a (something, probably a game console)?”

    “You bet.”

    First kid says, “Can I have a Honda Civic?”

    “Sorry, one present to a customer.”

    “What are you doing here?”

    “Hanging out during the summer.”

    “It’s not summer.”

    “It is compared to the North Pole.”

    “Good point,” he conceded.

    I turned to walk away and his young friend said, “I’ll leave you some great cookies this year. What kind do you like?”

    She caught me there; I’m not really a cookie person. “Chocolate chip.”

    “OK”

    That was fun.

    • mexican sharpshooter

      You did a good deed.

    • Scruffyy Nerfherder

      Nice

      The only case of mistaken identity I ever experienced was some drunk chick thought I was Shawn Cassidy back in 1986.

      I was dumb and didn’t ask her if she believed in magic.

  26. rhywun

    W00t 23 degrees up from 6.

    Time to throw open some windows holy crap it got so dry in here.
    I don’t know how you dry-climate people stand it.

    • Ownbestenemy

      Please tell me we used a 3 million dollar missile to take it down.

      • Scruffyy Nerfherder

        It’s the Western way of war. Expensive is better.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Ah I was off..

        $472,000 for a sidewinder. Wonder why not just strafe it. Fairly large and relatively stationary target. But would get the civilian footage of missile contrails I guess.

      • The Hyperbole

        Seeing as how they want to retrieve the payload couldn’t they have used a helicopter and somehow harpooned/snared it, or is it to high and too big. I know absolutely nothing about spy balloons and the capabilities of helicopters. Tom Cruise could have leapt onto it, got the goods and then parachuted off.

      • R.J.

        I was hoping for a giant stick pin.

      • slumbrew

        Looks like an MH-60 tops out around 35,000 feet.

        Not even close.

      • Rebel Scum

        Heat-seeking missile on that type of target? And that is short range. And that seems expensive. I’d expect an AMRAAM.

        Viewing the vid it looks like a plane was able to get level with it at close range. Interesting.

      • SDF-7

        Raytheon wouldn’t have it any other way.

        And yeah, MS has my thought below — nothing like waiting until it has traversed the entire continent and broadcast there, PPP.

    • Scruffyy Nerfherder

      I’m relieved

    • Fourscore

      Payload was jettisoned and sank to the bottom of the ocean.

      • mexican sharpshooter

        Correct, after it finished surveying the entire continental US.

      • Scruffyy Nerfherder

        How convenient.

        Now it can be portrayed however each government wants to portray it.

      • dbleagle

        Does this mean that some lucky pilot gets to paint a “kill” on the side of their plane?

      • dbleagle

        Probably not since biden will not want to upset the CCP.

      • mexican sharpshooter

        I’m willing to bet it was an O-4 or above, possibly a SQ/CC and awarded a medal. The AF loves mediocrity.

      • Scruffyy Nerfherder

        It was the F22 contingent out of Langley.

        There will be 1,734 man hours of maintenance required in order get ready for the next flight.

      • dbleagle

        Soooooo the most expensive fighter ever made* was used to shoot down an updated version of a 18th century flying machine.

        Makes sense. The AF fighter community has been in the dumps the last couple weeks since the Navy pilot recently was presented with the Navy Cross for shooting down four USSR MIGs during the Korean War.

        *The F22 is so expensive the USAF stopped purchases at roughly half of the required numbers (187 of the required 395) and depending on how you parse the expense per aircraft at $150M to $336M per copy.

      • Ownbestenemy

        As Scruffy noted…it’s the Western way.

      • Scruffyy Nerfherder

        I’m reminded of the Russians using $20k drones to take out $5M HIMARS

      • SDF-7

        I was expecting “Great shot kid, that’s one in a million!”

      • rhywun

        I was expecting some rant about OMB.

      • R.J.

        Heh. He does spend way too much time ranting.

    • The Other Kevin

      99 knights of the air
      Ride super high tech jet fighters

    • Ownbestenemy

      Hahaha

  27. slumbrew

    Thanks to The Fifth Column, TIL that:

    1) Eddie Murphy made a reggae song
    2) It’s pretty good

  28. Brochettaward

    I have taken to creating a concoction to bring about my own Firstserkers. The recipe has been lost to time, coming from a line of Firsters with only an oral history tradition. But I think I am getting close.

    I am talking about Firsters who can First with such ferocity than they can impregnate your wife just by thinking about her. Firsters who never sleep, and exist only to First.

  29. slumbrew

    For our many metal heads, one of our local chefs-of-note is Slayer fan

    • slumbrew

      He used to have this sticker up at one of his palces.

  30. The Late P Brooks

    I picked up a six pack of African Amber Ale, from Mac and Jack’s brewing Seattle). I haven’t opened one yet. I’ll report back.

    I was going to have a hamburger at this place I haven’t been recently. When I got there, there were two school buses in the parking lot. I guess I’ll have a ham and cheese sammich.