Monster B movies are an art. They cannot be too long, need more action than exposition and need plenty of cheesy monsters. This newer movie from 2017 fits the bill. As a bonus, we have some great actors!
- Tom Arnold as an ineffective rock band manager.
- Gary Busey’s boy Jake, hiding under a blonde rock star wig!
- Rhys Coiro, who you may know from Straw Dogs.
- There are a lot of attractive women in this film. One in particular in the opening, named Cortney Palm, we have seen before in ZomBeavers.
So you you have a stellar cast tonight! What happens in this film?
- Tom loses both his hands and applauds with his stumps.
- Jake Busey makes giant ants explode with his vocal high notes.
- Corey strips naked and gets eaten by a giant ant.
I would say I wish there was just about fifteen minutes less exposition on the front end. Other than that this is a great B movie, running just at 90 minutes. Turn off your brain, enjoy the cheap effects, and watch! Or don’t! Everything is voluntary!
Now, next week we are moving into March. I have been accused of not paying close attention to important things like Black History Month, Christmas and Hanukkah. So I am going to try harder. March is Women’s History Month, and National Cheerleading Safety Month. I will make sure movies are themed appropriately. We will start with Flesh Gordon, a true celebration of all that is female. Flesh Gordon is rare as hen’s teeth, so we will be going to Internet Archive for it. It will be worth it.
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(h/t: The Hyperbole)
*hits play*
“need plenty of cheesy monsters”
Or some other obvious antagonist. Human criminals might be more common.
Whenever humans are the antagonists, it’s a thriller. When it’s monsters, it’s sci fi. Movie categorization is clearly a social construct.
There are plenty of B-movie westerns and gangster flicks.
but are they sci fi?
Well, no.
Sometimes?
Touche. Oblivion is also a sci fi western. I really need to show that sometime.
I think you can count Cowboys & Aliens as a B movie. I mean, there are several B movies that are waaaay better than whatever that is.
Yes, that one is actually great. Oblivion is more of a C movie. And it has a drunk George Takei in it.
It’s obviously a Westworld rip off, but has a pretty cool premise (and Jack Palance is bananas good). I would recommend a watch if you have not seen it.
I will. You had me at Jack Palance. I just watched him in “The Shape of Things to Come.” He was great. Is there anything he was in that he did not improve?
When wasn’t Palance good?
OK, maybe not in The Silver Chalice.
Cowboys & Aliens was an OK A movie.
My point was that B-movies don’t have to be any particular genre. There were B movie rom coms, wrestling pictures, you name it.
I was joking about C&A. It had the studio, the money, the starts. Definitely an “A” picture. That sucked.
Wild, Wild, West was a sci-fi western. OK TV show, terrible movie.
Cowboy Bebop and Firefly were also a sci-fi westerns.
Wild, Wild, West was one of my favorite shows when I was a kid.
WWW is in heavy rotation on Pluto’s Western channel, great stuff. My Grandad used to watch it but I must have been too young to appreciate it, I only remember thinking it was neat how they froze the scene before commercials and made it part of the opening freeze frame.
Wild Wild West
Thanks, Ted’S.
ouch
I am so disappointed in you people.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=auhwI00iKWg
Internet is still up, Tall Thin Spaniard did not die in his house from high winds. Tornadoes have passed DFW for the most part.
Vodka martini has been made.
“Vodka martini has been made.”
Do you have a PPK in your dinner jacket?
Sadly no. I have an old Leatherman.
You had me at naked joggers.
National Cheerleading Safety Month??
Yes! Did you not know? We must keep our precious cheerleaders safe.
https://nationaltoday.com/national-cheerleading-safety-month/
Save the cheerleader, save the world!
OMG I miss 2006.
I can’t wait to watch this tonight.
Jake Busey: really liked him in the Frighteners
He was really quite good in this. I didn’t even recognize it was him at first.
Sweet. Looking forward to watching.
Stupid work.
ಠ_ʖಠ
Monster B movies are an art. They cannot be too long, need more action than exposition and need plenty of cheesy monsters.
Have you seen the original Cat People?
I would say two things:
1. I consider the original Cat People a cut above B movies and
2. it had a very very short run time. So it is hard to fault it for more talk and less monsters.
Sadly we can’t talk more because you ignored my email. Sad, I am.
I don’t know what your email address is, and don’t see anything that looks like it would be from you in the spam.
Hmmm…. Trying again.
Got the second email.
Yay!
OT (sorry, RJ) for an architectural moment I’m having with YouTube: Farnsworth House
Nice! I was just squished in a tornado shelter looking at houses for sale on Lake Texoma. They were not as arty as that.
I absolutely love Farnsworth House. It’s in tornado country, oddly enough.
Sad that the documentary had to end with a statement about how climate change threatens the house. I’d like to re-edit documentaries and remove such garbage.
Huh, scrolling though the video I caught a name I thought I recognized, sure enough it was one of my architecture professors.
That voiceover is nails on chalkboard.
But yeah, I think this work came up in an architecture history class.
I think it’s an AI.
I was torn between that and autist.
There are a LOT of videos with similar voiceovers, usually on esoterica….
You would think the director would hire voice over talent in a more soothing style. Like a PBS radio announcer. It sounds like an irritated man in an echo-y bathroom stall.
Where’s l0b0t and his mid-Atlantic accent????
That would be a good choice also.
@Tonio, email ahoy!
OT – In case it wasn’t obvious, I’m a contrarian curmudgeon who tends to become hostile to a product that people recommend unsolicited simply because it was pushed. So, that was my initial reaction to people raving about Vallejo Metallic paints. “Bah, Humbug” was my default response.
Well, seeing a set of eight metallic shades for $20, I did the math and realized it was cheaper than my current metallics, and I always needed more. Worst case, I wasted $20, but it was unlikely. (I mean, some of them had to be decent).
I had a kitbashed model using bits from a female Stormcast and a Chaos marine that I’d primed but hadn’t started painting that had plenty of metal surfaces. Being a one-off Chaos model a dischordant color scheme wouldn’t be odd, so it was the perfect testbed.
They are in dropper bottles (forcing me to only work where I can deploy a pallette instead of wherever I can sit), so I dripped some on the pallette. It had a watery texture and deployed in a small drop. My first instinct was to be suspicious of that consistancy, but the proof is in the painting.
Well, I will give the ravers this much, the Vallejo metallics are a substantial improvement over what I had been using. It went on smooth, with good pigment distribution. One thin coat from that watery drop provided full coverage over the black primer. So I am probably going to try out the company’s other offerings in the future. I mean, better coverage and less expensive?
I’m a big fan of vallejo paints. Good value for coverage. I wound up buying their big set and dont regret it at all. Granted, 8m doing DnD minis not wh40k.
A few models I did from our last campaign: fire giants(pre wash, apparently I didnt get a pic after) and my fallen asimir paladin
https://ibb.co/rvyzp6s
https://ibb.co/Kr8vGw2
I’ve been getting a lot more cynical and negative the last few years but sometimes it helps to hear an outsiders perspective – and coming from an immigrant, particularly such a libertarian-minded individual as Charlie Cooke – it give one a little more to chew over.
https://www.nationalreview.com/podcasts/the-editors/episode-524-the-lab-leak-theorys-new-lease-on-life/ – start around 28:40
inorite
Every monster movie would be improved if it ended with a Firster fighting a giant mechanical spider that represents the many legs of evil that is seconding.
There was such a movie, it was a kung fu film with a spider in a golden cage that screamed like an elephant and shot webs that melted people’s skin. I cannot remember the name.
“We have awesome momentum and political capital…what should we do Pinky? Prove we are the stupid party Brain?”
https://www.wfla.com/news/politics/florida-bill-would-require-bloggers-who-write-about-governor-to-register-with-the-state/
*picks jaw up off floor*
Wooooow. Surely that is being misrepresented? Otherwise WTF?
I’d love to see Desantis veto the shit out of that.
In the bill, Brodeur wrote that those who write “an article, a story, or a series of stories,” about “the Governor, the Lieutenant Governor, a Cabinet officer, or any member of the Legislature,” and receives or will receive payment for doing so, must register with state offices within five days after the publication of an article that mentions an elected state official.
horseshit
I was willing to forgive the anti-first amendment aspects of the bill banning the Democratic party because I took it as basic trolling. It was for show.
Maybe I was giving the Florida congress critters too much credit.
This strikes me a lone loon – I can’t believe there’s some sort of groundswell from the Florida GOP for this.
I really hope not.
Same. This is a bridge too far.
Won’t matter too much. Look at how on the national stage they’re spinning one possible idea thrown out there by one senator into “Republicans want to kill your benefits! Blargh!” The media will happily tar the entire Stupid Party with this even if it is just one idiot.
https://archive.ph/37mzB/7d91633e76f464028d75519c4f5151e7a287c131.png
NSFW.
https://archive.ph/6cGAZ/698c3132a625911110d01bcfdff78333b2ad9fb1.webp
NSFW.
https://archive.ph/9kFC4/573cd8558a7df24dc97be15225ff403e9d4452d9.webp
NSFW.
https://archive.ph/81WyI/f1b17abe9c806495c7786850d6d8e13e0cb80a7d.webp
NSFW.
Ichabodies Crane – headless horsewomen.
Probably should have put a question mark after the last part of the reply.
I’d watch her movie.
Wow. I think I’ve actually seen that movie before.
I know I’ve lobbied for this before, but now that it’s Women’s History Month, I really do think it’s time to feature that paean to female empowerment, Sorority Babes (etc.) Or have you already done it and I missed it because I was watching BattleBots?
Well, after Flesh Gordon I found this insane film called “Giantess Attack Vs. Mecha-Fembot.” Words cannot describe it. It’s on. After that I am open to “”Sorority Babes in the Slime Bowl O Rama.”
Were you aware that Sorority Babes… has a sequel? I have yet to watch it
Wow! I was NOT aware of the sequel – and only just released last year! Clearly long overdue!
::starts searching for Blu-Ray box set::
Both are on TUBI for your immediate viewing pleasure. I am on the phone or I’d send a direct link.
👍🏼👍🏼
‘Sorority Babes in the Slime Bowl O Rama’
Seen it. That’s a piece of quality B cinema. Haven’t seen the sequel, if it exists. I’m sure it’s terrible, as it should be.
LOL behold who’s rewriting Roald Dahl.
Why am I not surprised.
Not sure how you can be asexual and polyamorous, but hey, fucking nuts is fucking nuts, so I guess its not going to make sense.
Not sure how you can be asexual and polyamorous
Easy peasy, if you also believe that war is peace. This is your brain on woke.
Scott Alexander claims to be.
Honestly, once you’re not fucking one person, not fucking a bunch isn’t that much of a stretch.
Heck, I managed to not fuck over six billion people last year.
You could join the WEF and fix those #s.
Hackers steal gun owners’ data from firearm auction website
Hackers breached a website that allows people to buy and sell guns, exposing the identities of its users, TechCrunch has learned.
The breach exposed reams of sensitive personal data for more than 550,000 users, including customers’ full names, home addresses, email addresses, plaintext passwords and telephone numbers. Also, the stolen data allegedly makes it possible to link a particular person with the sale or purchase of a specific weapon.
“Hackers”
I’m going to watch this tomorrow night. Thanks R.J.
WA looks at CA and says hold my beer.
https://www.nationalreview.com/corner/washington-democrats-vote-to-shield-runaway-transgender-kids-and-girls-seeking-abortion-from-parents/
Huh. I thought they were in favor of parents aborting their children.
Sure, but if it didn’t happen then sterilizing the children is second best.
I feel very fortunate that I don’t have any children with these inclinations.
But then again, I paid dearly to keep them out of public school and away from the perverts.
At least if there’s ever a roundup of the underage transsexual bangers we’ll know what states to begin in. It’s just insanity made manifest, a denial of fundamental parental rights, and an invitation for shenanigans from some very twisted individuals.
In 10 to 20 years when these kids hit what would have been parenting age, there’s going to be a LOT of anger from them towards those that pushed them to fundamentally warp their lives. I don’t expect it will be pretty.
Murddog jurors render three day weekend verdict.
Hey Glibs.
Time to make the donuts.
😉☕🍩
https://youtu.be/IYRurPB4WA0
I thought that was a New England only commercial.
I definitely saw it growing up in the Southeast as well.
And top of the morning to y’all as well.
But I want croissants
huevos rancheros
This. Croissants > Pop Tarts > danish > muffins > donuts. Open to revision to include morning pastries I’ve overlooked. (But of course, bacon > any pastry.)
I’ma make muffins tomorrow.
Good morning, Sean, ‘bodru, Ssccrruuffyy, Roat, Stinky, SDF-7, and rhy.
Lent, so bacon is off the table for this morning. I’m just doing my usual “a little coffee in my cream” — I think there’s enough calories in the creamer that I don’t need much else, certainly never feel that hungry after the first pot of coffee. 😉
And thanks and good morning to you as well, GT.
I’m sorry, but what? Why are you including a non food item like Pop Tarts in that list at all? And to rank them above Danishes or Donuts? It’s like I don’t even know you.
Pop Tarts are awesome, especially the ones that are NOT frosted (though I’ll make an exception for the Brown Sugar/Cinnamon ones.) More often than not, I don’t even toast them. (Granted, it’s been a while – they’re far too dangerous to even bring into the house, and they’re now too expensive to stock in the break room at work.)
Pillsbury toaster pastries!
I honestly don’t believe I’ve ever had those. You HAVE to toast those, though, right? (And store in the freezer?)
Errr, toaster strudel. Frozen, yes, but comes with DIY icing.
I am now very confused, because they have always tasted like sugared cardboard to me. And without the frosting it’s just cardboard. Dry, dry cardboard that leaves the mouth a parched wasteland no matter how much you drink.
Anyway, it turns out I left the dressing for my breakfast salad in the car and have to walk all the way back to the parking lot if I want to have any.
How can we take seriously any opinion about Pop Tarts from a man who eats salad for breakfast??
I can’t afford steak for breakfast every day, and there’s no time to prepare it when I’m in the office.
And pastries don’t help my waistline any.
Yeah, after overindulging on vacation last week, I’m back on low-carb yogurt for breakfast. And I do love a good salad for lunch or dinner – I just can’t wrap my brain around having it for breakfast. (I confess I have rather hidebound ideas about what foods are appropriate to eat in the morning.)
I do the sugar free Chobani.
The key lime is yummy.
Not enough fat though…I have to add unsweetened shredded coconut to keto it up. I also add in some collagen.
@GT – I’ve not traditionally had ‘breakfast foods’ for breakfast. They just take too long to prepare and I have to get moving.
@Sean – The texture of shredded coconut takes it off my list of things I want to eat. Though I agree about the key lime.
And pastries don’t help my waistline any.
Which is why if you are going to eat something bad for breakfast, make it worthwhile and have a donut. UCS, you have your rare correct food take.
@UCS – I actually don’t mind the texture. I can see where some may find it off putting, but I need the fat. The collagen has no taste or texture.
Aldi has key lime whole milk greek yogurt. Obviously with some sugar in it though.
Pop Tarts were largely responsible (along with strawberry ice cream) for my weight gain which eventually led to gastric surgery for this Patzer. Kryptonite.
Cookies & Creme Pop Tarts should definitely have a warning label.
How’s Mrs. ‘patzie? (And her attentive caretaker?)
Walmart closing H Street location in Washington
No mention of the actual reasons for closing the store like theft eating the narrow margins. From the tone you would think the writer would be celebrating the closure.
WaPo readers eat that shit up. Stunning and brave of her to confess to shopping there.
“Pompous douchebag cleanup in aisle 9….”
Plus all Walmarts in Portland, however many those are.
two
Also no mention of the reasons why those locations are closing just the “They are closing these locations even though Walmart corp made a profit.”
I’d have a little more sympathy for Wally World if Sam’s kids and the MBAs they brought in to run the company hadn’t made it abundantly clear over the years which set of people they firmly believe they belong in, screw their customers.
Early ‘ordles — DuoTri can frak right off with “Eater” and “Masse”. Jerks. Main event made up for it a bit.. March of Mediocrity continues.
Daily Duotrigordle #366
Guesses: X/37
Time: 05:54.85
https://duotrigordle.com/
Daily Quordle 403
4️⃣5️⃣
7️⃣6️⃣
quordle.com
Womp womp.
Daily Quordle 403
9️⃣3️⃣
4️⃣8️⃣
Daily Quordle 403
6️⃣5️⃣
4️⃣3️⃣
quordle.com
Mornin’, reprobates!
How’s things?
Took Mrs. Patzer to the surgeon for a follw-up yesterday, which involved getting her in and out of the car and walking to and around the facility. She is doing very well; I hope to be sleeping through the night some time in the next few weeks. It’s been a grind, but I’ve only blown up twice in the last week. Attempting to practice glib stoicism.
You can do it.
And I’m glad it sounds like things are progressing well.
Good to hear, G’patzer. A little walking and getting out is great therapy. You’ll recover as she recovers.
Excellent news! I hope all continues to go well for you both.
👍🏼
Morning! Work begins here. Looking forward to a slower Friday afternoon.
Mornin’
Well, I was going to whine about our impending snowfall, but the server does not approve. Pfui.
Five to eight or mor inches between two and midnight. Bleah