COCAINE CAT: Not to be outdone by cocaine-eatinging bears, the universe has delivered cocaine cat unto us as proof we live in the best timeline. Some questions to ask yourself as you read the story: Why did they test the cat for cocaine in the first place? Did the cat break its leg all on its own climbing the tree, or was the leg broken during interaction with one of the police officers?
BIDEN WANTS PAY RAISE FOR FEDERAL EMPLOYEES: The proposed 5.2% raise will be the largest since the Carter administration. An article from another source indicates it will be closer to 8.7% after they add in locality pay and whatnot.
PEARL-CLUTCHING AND CONTORTIONS FROM LEFTIST MEDIA: “Arkansas Gov. Sarah Huckabee Sanders signs bill making it easier to violate child labor laws.” –Salon So, how does this make it easier? Because they no longer have to prove their age, or obtain a government permission slip. Prove their age. You know, like produce a birth certificate. Because leftists are all in favor of having to show ID, except for voting.
MRS FETTERLUMP, FIRE FIGHTER: How did this column miss the news that Gisele Barreto Fetterman is a fire fighter? Credit where due. But between “spotted” and “[w]earing her full gear, Gisele walked through the area while on the phone,” this sounds awfully like a photo op staged for the TV cameras.
DID “QANON SHAMAN” GET SHAFTED DURING SENTENCING? Jonathan Turley raises questions based on newly-released footage. But we all know the answer: because Chansley was the very visible face of J6 larping they came down extra hard on him.
IF YOU HEAR THESE WORDS, RUN AWAY: Liana Shanti, Lemurian Mystery School. Of course by then it’s probably too late. (Suggest viewing in private mode to bypass registration wall. H/T to whichever one of you posted this in the comments recently; take a bow. The original article used “Lemurian” and “Lumerian” interchangeably; the article seems to have been corrected after publication, but the error persists in the URL.)
TOO-LOCAL NEWS: Federal employee sentenced to 2.5 years for taking $400,000 in bribes for Norfolk, Richmond courthouse projects.
TESTIFY, BROTHER MATT: Taibbi testifies before House Judiciary Committee about the Twitter Files.
BRAVE NEW WORLD: Scientists create mice with two fathers after making eggs from male cells.
I say fire all of them.
Rebecca Katz
@RebeccaKKatz
Never underestimate
@giselefetterman
.
She really can do it all. 🔥
She wasn’t actually doing anything.
Posing?
Nothing says intellectual honesty like locking down your tweets.
She’s definitely getting more out of her hubby being a senator than he is.
Should he die, be declared incompetent, or his health deteriorate, the Governor of Pennsylvania will appoint a temporary replacement who will serve until a new senator can be elected during the next scheduled general election. Gov Shapiro could appoint Mrs Fetterman as his replacement and she could then run for the seat with an incumbent advantage plus sympathy votes.
https://www.washingtonexaminer.com/news/senate/what-happens-if-fetterman-health-complications-resign
Look, anyone who could do Lump probably could do anything.
A Lump-a lump-a Burning Lumve!
No way.
Unless you are working under the table, don’t you have to give your Social Security number and such for tax purposes?
We’re all using the same one. 000-00-0000. It used to be the nuclear codes, but they finally changed them in the 80s.
Yes, it looks like this is just eliminating a preapproval step.
“because Chansley was the very visible face of J6 larping they came down extra hard on him”
Also, isn’t he on the spectrum or something? I think I remember his own lawyer calling him “retarded”. There was also some speculation he was rolling at the time. I’m not sure because I was probably drunk when I read it.
Diagnosed bipolar and maybe schizophrenic while in jail.
Well, claiming your client is borderline incompetent is a good strategy.
“Rolling” is my word for the day. Thanks CP, Urban Dictionary, and Limp Bizkit.
I’m rolling, I’m rolling, I’m rolling, yeah.
Nice one. Haven’t heard SC in a long time!
One more: Move upside, and let the man go, let the man go through.
How about solo work?
Decent song. I can also relate to the lyrics. Thx, slumbrew.
Love that one! I married one of the 27.
Here’s another favorite:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NSNuqX3EY70
I suppose the phrase “rolling my nuts off” may have a different meaning in your circle of friends.
I’m all about that Boebert Yogurt.
Winning.
10/10 on the meme, Tonio.
BRAVE NEW WORLD: Scientists create mice with two fathers after making eggs from male cells.
Wasn’t this a Schwarzenegger movie?
“Scientists create mice with two fathers after making eggs from male cells.”
I was going to post the Daily Mail article this morning, but decided against it because they didn’t use frogs.
Something else men can do better than women?
You still need a womb with a view.
What we found in the Files was a sweeping effort to reverse that promise, and use machine learning and other tools to turn the internet into an instrument of censorship and social control. Unfortunately, our own government appears to be playing a lead role.
Well, c’mon. How are you going to gain the consent of the governed if you don’t manipulate what they’re allowed to see and hear?
The Cincinnati Zoo announced on Tuesday that they are taking care of an African serval named Amiry. The cat was involved in a traffic stop in late January; it escaped its owner’s car when police arrested him and ran up a tree, breaking its leg in the process. Animal welfare experts said the cat tested positive for cocaine.
Catastrophe avoided.
Obligatory: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=pvaAykoPj6Y
Or maybe this?
I can’t recall if I’ve ever seen lynx links before.
We had a discussion about https://lynx.browser.org/ at one point. That should count.
Technically, not a lynx, but I just learned that the name “serval” is derived from the Portugese word for “lynx.”
Oddly enough, I once told the spouse that wives should be serval to their husbands. That’s when her claws came out.
“The cat was involved in a traffic stop in late January; it escaped its owner’s car when police arrested him and ran up a tree, breaking its leg in the process.”
If I’m reading this correctly, a cat was driving a car. The police arrested the car’s owner. The police then ran up a tree, and broke the cat’s leg while in the process of running up the tree.
“a ruling class of evil reptilian creatures who created the COVID-19 “scamdemic”—a Luciferian plot to harvest innocent souls”
So basically, David Icke?
I’m not gonna rule out any theories at this point.
“The COVID vaccine changes people’s DNA, she told him. And people who got the shot could shed the vaccine on others.”
There are people here that believe that.
<===
I didn’t get this green face and googly eyes from drinking bourbon!
“Jennifer came home, took the boys, and left. Jason said Jennifer didn’t tell him where they were going or how long they would be gone. He soon found out that Jennifer had sent a letter to her mother saying she no longer wanted a relationship, and that she had filed a restraining order against Jason—citing his angry text messages—and obtained full custody of their children.”
Isn’t family court great?
The lack of due process is gobsmacking and rage triggering.
The lack of due process is
gobsmacking and rage triggeringutterly unsurprising.FIFY
“Father gets shafted by family court” is “dog bites man”.
“she can access the Akashic records—which some new-agers believe is a metaphysical database of all the information in the universe. According to Liana, these records are stored inside whales.”
That’s just basic record keeping. I keep all my tax returns inside a narwhal in the back yard.
Yeah. I love this bit. Love it.
I tried doing that for a while, but data retrieval was terrible — I ended up deciding it wasn’t fit for porpoise.
I tried it but some of the data was hacked by the late John Macafee.
“One follower posted pictures of her wedding dress on fire.”
I remember seeing that tweet.
“they begin giving themselves coffee enemas”
Hey, if you don’t like it, go to another Starbucks.
She was living la vida mocha.
Abolish all child labor laws because children can consent to anything.
That’s a disgusting comment. While obviously they shouldn’t be allowed to decide whether or not they can drink or purchase a firearm, they clearly possess the wisdom to know if they need to permanently lob their dicks off with the help of an enlightened medical professional.
Sorry, what I meant to say is children cannot consent to employment, but they can consent to college debt.
Apparently they can consent to permanent body alterations. And the groomers want them to be able to consent to other things.
Not all permanent body alterations, I mean they still can’t get tattoos or piercings until they’re 18.
A former federal employee was sentenced to 2 1/2 years in prison last week for accepting more than $400,000 in bribes and kickbacks, according to the U.S. Attorney’s Office for the Eastern District of Virginia.
Good thing he didn’t do something serious, like donning a bison hat and walking around a federal office building. They would’ve really thrown the book at him then.
lese majeste is no longer just for other countries.
Damn, the sentencing disparity hadn’t even occurred to me. Good call.
On a great year I get a 2% raise. The government can get their filthy mitts off my money. No 5% raise!
We get bonuses but no raises unless there’s a promotion. I don’t like that, so I’m bitching (a little) about it.
Bitching is why we are all here! No need to apologize..
That is bullshit, considering your bonus is taxed at 38%.
Fact check: False.
Source: I just checked my bonus, and after subtracting out my pre-tax retirement savings, the tax rate was only 37.36%!
I guess I should look forward to being cancelled and getting a visit from the FBI for misinformation.
It’s withheld at a higher rate. That’s not the final tax rate.
Correct. It all comes out in the wash.
My firm sends an e-mail out a few weeks before bonus time reminding you that you can adjust your withholding & 401k contributions for the period of the bonus if that bothers you.
Me, I don’t care – if I hit my 401k max they make catch-up contributions anyway, so there’s no downside to shoving money in (and I usually end up with big paychecks at the end of the year once I’ve hit that max). Plus I usually owe so having more withheld is NBD.
I’m bitching (a little) at work.
I got 7%.
You greedy bastard. I got like 4.5%. I’m only 29% behind the curve now.
7 trillion dollar budget. Lol…why not 10? 20? Or just eliminate money all together.
“I’d like to put that new pistol on my Social Credit charge card, please.”
And another couple trillion in debt.
Soon we’ll be talking real money!
https://twitter.com/macrojack21/status/1633843981904932868
He’s cutting the deficit!
I don’t have an interest in the deficit, it’s just the principal of the thing
Eliminate money? Look at the Trekie!
I didn’t know “print and spend” counted as a budget.
“Federal employee sentenced to 2.5 years for taking $400,000 in bribes for Norfolk, Richmond courthouse projects.”
This could have all gone away if they’d have remembered to give 10% to the big guy.
Zelenskyy: істина, друг? тримай моє пиво!
(Really buddy? Hold my beer!)
The Ohio House Speaker who just got convicted (Larry Householder) was involved in a $60 million bribery scheme.
There we go. That’s how you commit corruption and malfeasance.
We have to show our Eastern European brothers the way. I nominate Hunter Biden as Ambassador.
DID “QANON SHAMAN” GET SHAFTED DURING SENTENCING?
Yes. And the charges. And the conviction. Along with every one else involved.
Now we know why people were chanting “Fuck Antifa” on January 6th
Antifa is just, like, an idea, man.
They could also be Feds.
There are probably Feds inside Antifa & BLM too.
Well, someone has gotta be in charge!
Daily rage.
Poor girl. I would acquit if she were to slaughter the people who did this.
“All your conditions are because you were born into the wrong body”….what the actual fuck and how do people believe this shit beyond 5 years old?
These people who did this are monsters. There not not enough woodchippers or lampposts for them and those like them.
“Johnny Has Two Dads” will be replaced by “Johnny Has a Mom and a Dad” in 100 years.
Yo Tundra – time for you to take a guess at my favorite DD song…I just submitted my article on it!
I Believe / All I Need to Know
Final answer?
Unless you want to provide further clues. I thought you were going in album order, but then I realized Seven wasn’t close to their worst.
It’s 100% related to 7&TRT. I may have said it was the worst in a drunken state, but that should be prefaced by “one of”
It’s Cracks In The Pavement
(I’m Looking For) Cracks in the Pavement
Final answer?
Yes ma’am.
Okey doke…now there’s a month-long cliffhanger, depending on Swiss’s scheduling
I thought Liberty was way worse. What did you think of the Wedding Album?
You’ll see soon. I’m skipping a few. I’m not doing anything between 7&TRT and The Wedding Album. I liked the singles from Notorious but not the deep tracks.
I’m ending with The Wedding Album (with a P.S. on my favorite song following that) because I’m not at all well-versed in their later catalog.
Sweet! You could also do the good songs off shit albums. They always seemed to be able to generate some gold.
Don’t the Buttigiegs family have 2 daddies or is it 2 mommies? Is it role reversal or role encompassing. I can’t keep up.
KK, don’t know if you’re aware or not, but it looks like Duran Duran is playing at a fest this fall.
I got me a ticket for the DC show!
Good deal. I can’t really see a theme among the bands playing at the fest, nor am I interested in going, but figured it may fit in with plans to be motoring as it’s in September in Kentucky.
If you come this way, let me know!
Jiselle is a firefighter like Jill is a doctor.
They might, might have a tendential claim to the title, but it is pathetic when they attempt to use it.
KJP on Tucker Carlson’s Capitol Riot footage: “January 6 was the worst attack on our Democracy since the Civil War.”
Literally hundreds of thousands of casualties and the city razed…
Interestingly, the “Civil War” itself was an assault on democracy.
Look, no one has pushed updates to KJP-bot for a while so she’s going to keep running that script loop.
She persists…in perpetuating the actual Big Lie.
If @HouseGOP wants new Jan 6 hearings, bring it on. Let’s replay every witness & all the evidence from last year. But this time, those members who sought pardons and/or hid from subpoenas should sit on the dais so they can be confronted on live TV with the unassailable evidence.
We already saw your “evidence”. It is now being debunked. Cry about it.
https://twitchy.com/dougp-3137/2023/03/09/mollie-hemingway-delivers-a-reality-check-after-liz-cheney-dares-house-to-bring-on-more-j6-hearings/
The big problem is that nothing will happen. The government will continue to suppress our speech via their corporate and journalist lap dogs. They’ll continue to howl hysterically, and get away with everything.
What they are engaging is is nothing short of social warfare against their own people. What’s worse is that there isn’t a fucking thing we can do about any of it.
Ya don’t say….
Some days I think I’m still not black pilled enough, which is bloody sad.
None more black 👍
At the time of Nina-gate, I was 100% sure this would happen. Absolutely no way they’d just abandon that idea.
“Colin Kaepernick calls his white adoptive parents RACIST because they told him as a teen that cornrows looked ‘unprofessional’ and that he ‘looked like a little thug'”
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-11841365/Colin-Kaepernick-accuses-white-adoptive-parents-perpetuating-racism.html
CWAA
I would say the exact same thing about mullets. Is that still racist?
“A teachers union in Virginia has been called out for promoting a Black Lives Matter organization that allegedly ‘advances racial justice’ and tells kids to ‘work towards a queer-affirming network.’
The Virginia Education Association released a toolkit last month encouraging members to join the Black Lives Matter At School organization’s ‘week of Action’ which began on February 6.
A recent Wall Street Journal opinion piece accused the union of ‘using its pipeline to teachers to promote the teaching of a left-wing political agenda and activism.’
The toolkit reportedly shows how teachers can get around a ban on critical race theory, which has been blocked in dozens of states across the US including Virginia where Gov. Glenn Youngkin banned it in 2021.
The ‘week of action’ focuses on the organization’s 13 principles, which include ‘transgender affirming,’ ‘queer affirming,’ ‘restorative justice’ and ‘globalism.'”
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-11840521/How-schools-country-secretly-teaching-CRT.html
Ban teachers unions.
Ban all public sector unions, especially police.
I agree, ban all public sector unions, but at least there is some argument for blue collar jobs. Teachers are college educated professionals, like accountants and engineers.
Normally I hate banning shit. But fuck these unions.
“there is some argument for blue collar jobs”
I’m not seeing one. What is it?
At least the kids can still read, rite and do math good.
“New York woman, 50, dies from severe malnutrition after unborn fetus got lodged in her intestine for nine YEARS”
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-11840909/Woman-50-Africa-dies-severe-malnutrition-stone-baby-blocked-intestines.html
WTF??
It wasn’t lodged in the intestines, it put pressure on them, pinching off the flow.
What really killed her was
COVID.
You misspelled “Climate Change”
“Five Gulf Cartel assassins who kidnapped The Tummy Tuck Four – killing two – are tied up and dumped in the street with a note from cartel bosses APOLOGIZING to the four South Carolina families”
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-11840535/Mexican-cartel-turns-five-members-kidnapped-four-Americans.html
LOL
Happily, kidnapping Americans is bad for business.
Spring break’s coming up. I have to assume the cartels get a cut of the tourism/beach trade.
/doesn’t know anything about what goes on in Mexico
I love Mexico. Highly recommended. Affordable, fun, lovely people. Anabolic steroids OTC!
Unless you are there to do drug deals. That might be different.
Never really been but I’d sure like to go.
If the bosses were that pissed those guys should count themselves lucky they aren’t all headless corpses in a ditch somewhere. The cartel heads are a couple of tiers below the Mafia when it comes to being merciful.
Yeah, but I suspect they wanted to offer the assailants as a show of goodwill, or whatever a cartel boss thinks that might be.
YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
JOOOOOOOOOOOOOEEEEEEEEEE!
A pay raise for federal employees? You gotta be fucking kidding me, man.
I think it might be time for a beer.
So, what did I say about NGOs fucking over our border policy?
Contraceptives? Don’t you want the bitches all ready to drop anchor once they are across the border?
That’s to keep all the rapes from bearing fruit, you don’t want the next generation to be majority coyote spawn.
What border policy?
There is nothing remotely clear and consistent enough that a team of Harvard lawyers on adderal could discern as any sort of “policy”.
What the U.S. has is a massive fucked-up boondoggle of mystery and chaos.
Ask any immigrant.
I contend that current border policy is exactly what a team of Harvard lawyers would propose.
Lack of policy *is* the policy.
The picture of Mrs. Lump in firefighting gear makes me think that what happens in the firehouse stays in the firehouse.
Choo choo!
She’s a different level evil. Her incapacitated husband (depressed? mute? paralyzed? vegetable? all of the above?) is on a long term hospital stay and she takes the kids on a vacation out of the country posting to social media about “living their best life!” etc. What a sociopath. Apologies to Hyperion, but these Brazilian women seem completely psycho.
I am torn on that one. If I was a wreck, I wold not want my wife and child to hang around and watch me rot to death. I would want her to go take her mind off of it. That’s just me though.
Brazilian wives are the best wives.
President Biden is expected to propose a 5.2 percent raise for federal employees in his budget set to be released Thursday — the largest increase the White House has put forward since Jimmy Carter was president.
Whip
Inflation
Now!
WIN?
Redhedz 4 Thot Thursday.
https://archive.ph/u8CV0
Peaked so soon! We have a blue film tonight too. You coming?
My penis says yes!
“Everett Kelley, national president of the American Federation of Government Employees, said in an email”
Mephistopheles was unavailable for comment so they went with his spokesman.