Previously on “The Secret History of Vermont”
Introduction
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Part 5
Part 6
Chapter 6: Vermont’s Finest Hour
It was a time of conflict. The long simmering issue of white, colored, and segregation had come to a point. Emotions were incandescent. Both sides believed in hearts that they were right. Families were divided and brother fought against brother. The State was on the verge of splitting into two. The debate over colored golf balls in Vermont made the American Civil War look like a playground squabble.
It is not well known that golf is the Vermont State Sport. Even the Town of Richford has a full-time golf course. Towns that can’t support a full-time golf course often have numerous part-time golf courses for that brief period of time between harvesting the hay on a field and the grass growing up again. Coordinating the harvesting in such Towns makes up a fair percentage of the Town Clerk’s summer job responsibilities. Really good Town Clerks arrange it so that you can play the first nine holes on a field that’s just getting too grown up and the second nine holes on a field that’s just been harvested with the tree line separating the two fields making a good obstacle. Such Clerks are in great demand and command high salaries and good benefits.
The popularity of golf in Vermont doesn’t get much media attention because the media tries hard not to be around during the time that most of the golf is played. When the media does happen to be around it sees men and women appropriately dressed for the course, golf carts, refreshing cool drinks, and the usual golf paraphernalia. In Vermont however you can only play golf like that for about 15 days each year. Most of the rest of the time the media would see men and women appropriately dressed for standing out in the middle of a snow-packed field with the temperature and wind solidifying everything in sight, snow shoes, snow mobiles, refreshing hot drinks, and the usual golf paraphernalia. If the media was persistent it would even see men and women appropriately dressed for wading through a large mud pit, amphibious ATV’s with multiple sets of balloon tires, very large amounts of refreshing alcoholic drinks, and the usual golf paraphernalia. Vermonters take their golf seriously. Little things like the ruts made by the skidder that was called out to pull the course Zamboni out of a sinkhole aren’t permitted to get in the way.
The Late Great Unpleasantness was brought about by the introduction of the fluorescent orange golf ball which substantially changed the character of winter golf. One side insisted that colored golf balls were a loathsome and whorish innovation of the Flatlanders and their introduction was a poisoned arrow aimed directly at the minds of the youthful and productive citizens of Vermont to weaken them and lead them astray from the path of independence and righteousness. The other side said, “Cool! All that and we can actually see the ball!” The conflict was immediate and shortly the golf courses segregated themselves into “White” and “Colored” to keep the number of fights down. The only people that each side hated worse than the other side was the very small faction that called for tolerance and peaceful co-existence.
Everyone was having a wonderful time when disaster struck. Someone accidentally mentioned the issue within earshot of a member of the Montpelier Legislature. The Legislature immediately put aside any potentially harmless work and concentrated for the remainder of the session on its then magnum opus: Act 4: A Series of Statues to Regulate and Normalize the Sport of Golf in Vermont. The high points of Act 4 included:
- The creation of a Department of Golf Management which was to be funded by a statewide golf course property tax.
- All greens fees were to be paid into a pool and distributed to the golf courses using an incomprehensible formula based on factors that had nothing to do with the economics of golf courses.
- Particular attention was paid to a large fund for the subsidy of the costs of playing golf for people who don’t want to play golf. (Anyone applying for such funds was to be refused by reason of being unqualified.)
- All carts, snowmobiles, and ATV’s used on golf courses required special registration, inspections, and licensing.
- Potential drivers of these vehicles were required to take a lengthy and expensive training course, located in an inconveniently remote Town, before they could qualify to take the test, located in a different but equally inconveniently remote Town, needed to get the endorsement to drive a golf vehicle.
- Each type of golf vehicle required its own endorsement.
- Colored golf balls were expressly prohibited except during hunting season when fluorescent orange golf balls were required.
- A special endorsement on the hunting license was required to play golf during hunting season.
- A familiarity of the Special Rules and Regulations Concerning Personal and Public Safety on the Golf Course had to be demonstrated throughout playing the game by reciting sections of the code before each stroke.
- The Department of Golf Management was authorized to deploy State Troopers to patrol the golf courses and write tickets for any infractions.
- As per their new designation as “Publicly managed private spaces”, smoking and alcoholic beverages on the golf course and in the country club were prohibited.
It is when Vermonters are faced with the intolerable that their best qualities shine forth. When Act 4 was signed into law the population of Vermont, in a gesture subsequently known as Vermont’s Finest Hour, quietly and democratically de-elected the entire Montpelier government. Some former members of the Montpelier Legislature were de-elected so hard they were never heard from or seen again. Others resurfaced north of the border where they spent their time in the smoke-filled back rooms of the Parti Quebecois headquarters dreaming of and elaborating on the post-separation plans of conquest.
Act 4 was repealed and forgotten. The only remnant is the tradition of crying “Four!” before a stroke.
The only people that each side hated worse than the other side was the very small faction that called for tolerance and peaceful co-existence.
Same as always.
1st, 2nd, 3rd, 4th, 5th, 6th, 7th.
Someone tell Bro that’s how it’s done.
All on-topic too.
Hey Bro! That’s how it’s done. Please take notes and try to be better.
Particular attention was paid to a large fund for the subsidy of the costs of playing golf for people who don’t want to play golf. (Anyone applying for such funds was to be refused by reason of being unqualified.)
Sounds like a slush fund.
In Vermont, a slush fund would be used to subsidize winter sports.
The Department of Golf Management was authorized to deploy State Troopers to patrol the golf courses and write tickets for any infractions.
I can only suspend disbelief so much. There is no way the Montpelier Legislature wrote this. If they did, the DGM would have their own goons instead of using State Troopers.
The State Troopers Association insisted on the privilege of the overtime for a cushy job.
I can see that.
As per their new designation as “Publicly managed private spaces”, smoking and alcoholic beverages on the golf course and in the country club were prohibited.
Boo!
Others resurfaced north of the border where they spent their time in the smoke-filled back rooms of the Parti Quebecois headquarters dreaming of and elaborating on the post-separation plans of conquest.
Rufus hardest hit.
The only remnant is the tradition of crying “Four!” before a stroke.
These euphemisms.
Someone should have paid attention when Fetterman yelled “Four!”.
Stop poking fun at our next Vice President of the United States.
Even the Town of Richford has a full-time golf course.
I was curious, and looked it up. There is no golf course there, but there is a Golf Course Rd. The US-Canadian border rudely cuts it off.
I always thought it was just a front for Quebecois money-launderers!
https://www.facebook.com/Richfordcountryclub/
In good weather the deck is the best place to have lunch in Richford.
Ahh, I see. That didn’t come up on the Google maps search.
You need a passport for the back nine.
The Richford Country Club’s beginning was a plan to build a grand hotel during Prohibition. It would have been a brief walk to the Canadian border across which would have been a clubhouse serving refreshments. This was just before the Great Depression and the financing disappeared.
I was briefly an accidental illegal immigrant into Canada while fishing on Lake Memphramagog.
Brilliant!
Those fuckers in Montpelier are monsters, huh.
Little things like the ruts made by the skidder that was called out to pull the course Zamboni out of a sinkhole aren’t permitted to get in the way.
Legit LOL.
Thanks, Richard. Here, have some more controversy:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4gazNwzC4H0
Poe’s Law seems to apply to Montpelier as well.
‘A familiarity of the Special Rules and Regulations Concerning Personal and Public Safety on the Golf Course had to be demonstrated throughout playing the game by reciting sections of the code before each stroke.’
I…uh…
*walks away*
…required special registration, inspections, and licensing.
Live Free or Die is across the river.
There’s plenty of occupational licensing in NH.
Strangely, Sununu is proposing to get rid of a bunch of it as part of the budget process.
I’m guessing this just a way to drum up some “campaign contributions” from guild members who don’t want that to happen. I predict much chin-stroking in various committees, culminated by the end of the session without the bill actually making it out of committee.
As is traditional.
Wanted to chime in and make sure you get title insurance involved in your issue along with all the other suggestions. Hit the inspector and homeowner with errors and omissions. Anything really. You may even think about digging into the previous owners testing and abatement for termites. There’s almost zero chance they weren’t aware.
Here in my small town a popular Summer pastime is a group of friends loading their ATVs and UTVs into trailers and going to New Hampshire for a few days to ride, have fun, and spend money. The Montpelier Legislature seems to have trouble with the concepts.
I’m betting the Montpelier Legislature is blissfully ignorant of those doings in your part of the state, otherwise they would surely apply a surtax to said ATVs crossing the river (in both directions).
Since this post seems to be about stuff that you can’t quite believe is real.
https://twitter.com/GRDecter/status/1635322707746357254
That was hilarious.
Wish we could do that federally.
It is also well known that errant golf shots are called “fore” only because golfers could never get port and starboard down. They did try “aft” since the ball was coming from behind those further up course but that led to many misunderstandings and a few duels.
Vermont Clown World.
The Vermont Christian school that forfeited a game in the girls state basketball playoffs because its opponent had a biological male student has been banned from participating in sporting events going forward.
The Gateway Pundit reported last month Mid Vermont Christian School (MVCS) withdrew from Vermont’s division IV basketball tournament due to a biological male being on the opposing team. …
As reported by the Valley News, The Vermont Principals’ Association (VPA), the governing body for high school sports in the state, released a statement Monday saying Mid Vermont Christian School (MVCS) violated policies and is thus ineligible to participate in future events sanctioned by them.
Yeah. There’s an earlier case of some girls complaining about a female-identifying boy in the girl’s locker room and the girls getting into trouble for it:
https://vermontdailychronicle.com/girls-banned-from-locker-room-after-conflict-with-transgender-student/
“Tis a silly place.”
Generally, students should be permitted to participate in physical education and sports in accordance with the student’s gender identity.
Girls athletics exist solely for those with long hair and makeup.
Vermont is an inspiration to us all.
Sorry, Richard, but this is just too precious
Jeff Sonnenfeld, CEO of the Yale School of Management’s Chief Executive Leadership Institute (CELI), told CNN he agrees that Silicon Valley Bank’s leadership deserves criticism for their “tone-deaf, botched execution.”
“Someone lit a match and the bank yelled, ‘Fire!’ – pulling the alarms in earnest out of genuine concern for transparency and honesty,” Sonnenfeld and Steven Tian, CELI’s research director, said in an email on Sunday to CNN.
Sonnenfeld and Tian said not only was the announcement of an unsubscribed $2.25 billion capital raise Wednesday night “unnecessary” because Silicon Valley Bank had sufficient capital far in excess of regulatory requirements, but there was no need to simultaneously reveal the $1.8 billion loss.
The one-two punch “understandably sparked widespread hysteria amidst a rush to pull deposits,” the two wrote, adding that they could have spaced the announcements out by a week or two and reduced the magnitude.
Why didn’t he just sweep it under the rug, like any normal CEO?
And then…
For their part, Sonnenfeld and Tian argue Jerome Powell, Biden’s pick to lead the Federal Reserve, and his colleagues deserve at least some of the blame.
“There should be no mistaking that Silicon Valley Bank’s collapse was a direct result of the Fed’s persistent and excessive interest rate hikes,” they wrote.
Why? Because the Fed’s war on inflation depressed both the value of the bonds Silicon Valley Bank was relying on for capital and the value of the tech startups the bank catered to.
Fuck the peasants, we’ve got deals cooking!
“People are just shocked at how stupid the CEO is,” the Silicon Valley Bank insider said. “You’re in business for 40 years and you are telling me you can’t raise $2 billion privately? Get on a jet and fly to Kuwait like everyone else and give them control of one-third of the bank.”
Yeah.
Sounds like a super genius.
There’s an earlier case of some girls complaining about a female-identifying boy in the girl’s locker room and the girls getting into trouble for it:
He was stealing all their best makeup tricks.
I found this interesting, and I believe others here will find it interesting as well:
The Story of the First Pump Action Shotgun
Very interesting. Both the guns and the business history. Thanks for the share!
Apologies for the OT, but at long last, the written offer for my new position has come in. I get to cast aside the current job with all of its headaches and inanities, and start at a new company, where I don’t know the headaches and inanities yet.
Congrats. Did you get your soul out of escrow from the current company?
Just provided my notice to them, they wanted to try to get a counter offer together, but I pointed out that it had been 5 years with no training, certifications, or promotions, while the new company would be starting by training me on a new (to me) phone system (bringing me up to 4 that I’ll know how to support).
O Frabjous Day! Will it bring you to a more temperate and civilized part of Ohio? 😉
“a more temperate and civilized part of Ohio?”
I get a 404 error.
Why would I move? It’s another remote position, although this company does have an office in Cowtown.
Columbus really missed an opportunity when they decided against naming their NHL franchise the Mad Cows.
Congratulations!
Huzzah!
Sweet!
Congrats, Neph!
Act 4: A Series of Statues to Regulate and Normalize the Sport of Golf in Vermont.
Has to be a typo…
::re-reads series::
Then again, a series of golf statues isn’t that far-fetched for government busybodies to come up with.
Wow. Certainly not the world’s oldest typo but so far my personal best. I can’t believe the number of times I’ve looked at that and not seen it.
Boom goes the drone.
This says collision
It all says we still like to stick it in crazy
Instead of the Lusitania, it’s drones now.
No matter how much we keep poking, I’m sure we can act like victims.
https://twitter.com/disclosetv/status/1635687742561562637/photo/1
Read the third paragraph. Beyond parody.
I like the fifth one:
We really are trying for peace.
“routine operations”
In the Black Sea…
The world is our routine.
Something called “Reaper” only conducts routine, peaceful operations in international air space. Kind of like a weather balloon.
Can we not be pussies in even our press releases?
https://www.eucom.mil/pressrelease/42314/russian-aircraft-collides-into-us-unmanned-system-in-international-waters
I thought Reapers were big enough that running into one would be bad for the colliding plane.
Sounds like it was love tapped
More Vermont controversy:
The Rutland area NAACP and Gedakina, a nonprofit that supports Indigenous culture, demand Vermont take action to force the Missisquoi Valley Union High School to change its Thunderbird mascot because it “Upholds harmful legacies that continue to harm our children.”
The Abenaki Nation of Missisquoi, a state-recognized tribe, disagrees saying “At no time does the symbol evoke recrimination.”
https://vtdigger.org/2023/03/01/abenaki-nation-of-missisquoi-pushes-back-on-complaint-against-mvus-thunderbird-mascot/
Same old story, actual American Indians not at all offended by things lefty loons want them to be offended by.
IIRC, back in the 90s an Indian Tribe in NC made the foam tomahawks the Atlanta Braves sold at games.
They were cool with the Braves name.
Those Indians should be quiet and let the good white liberals take up the burden.
How dare you erase us?
Style and sophistication are what this country needs
The majority of voters don’t want the 80-year-old Biden to run again, including a solid majority (57 percent) of Democratic voters. And that majority is likely to grow if voters become even more concerned about the president’s health and ability to perform his duties as president.
Moreover, a number of Biden’s recent moves, such as embracing Trump immigration policies he so often condemned and his efforts to oppose progressives’ defund-the-police initiatives, are alienating the progressive wing of the Democratic Party, where most of the party’s political energy resides.
But if Biden can’t win, who can? Michelle Obama would have a good chance. Here’s why.
Democrats see Barack Obama’s presidency as a type of modern “Camelot,” the term often used to refer to John F. Kennedy’s presidency, when a young, smart and appealing president and his sophisticated young wife occupied the White House. As one historian has described it, “The term Camelot has been used retrospectively to refer to the Kennedy administration, which lasted between January 1961 and November 1963, capturing the charisma of Kennedy and his family.”
Democrats are nostalgic for the charisma they perceived emanating from Obama and his family, while no one has ever associated charisma with Joe Biden.
Glory hallelujah!
Michelle Obama would have a good chance.
Michael Obama is black, gay and trans. That’s a trifecta of “qualification” for the left.
You know who else had charisma?
Nixon?
” no one has ever associated charisma with Joe Biden.”
Except all the people who did when he was a young senator with a dead wife.
The “Here’s why” and “Here’s what you need to know” tropes just grind the fuck out of my gears. Generally causes me to stop reading.
Look, just let Voxsplain it to you. You don’t want to be confused by too many viewpoints do you?
In addition, a Michelle nomination would be a type of political payback for the Hillary Clinton loss, only better because Michelle is more popular.
Hillary wanted to be the first female U.S. president. She failed, and Democrats, and especially Hillary, have never gotten over that defeat at the hands of Donald Trump.
Hillary still believes the election was stolen somehow, perhaps through Russian interference.
If Michelle Obama were to win the 2024 presidential election, and especially if she were to beat Donald Trump if he were the GOP candidate, it would seem to Democrats like justice had been restored.
If only there were some way to erase all traces of Cartoon Villain’s Presidency. That is what cosmic justice demands.
“Hillary still believes the election was stolen somehow, perhaps through Russian interference.”
DENIER!
Anyone who denies the obviously fake 2016 Russian collusion and election interference narratives should be in prison for spreading fake news and Putin apologia.
IT WAS HER TURN!
would be a type of political payback for the Hillary Clinton loss
More like rubbing it in since this would be “the help” winning the office instead of Herself.
Hillary still believes the election was stolen
Questioning elections is treason, unless you have a ‘D’ next to your name.
Wouldn’t Michelle just be a figurehead for her husband? Anyone who points it out would be labeled a misogynist and a racist, but that doesn’t make it less true.
You’re right, but it would be played off as harmless banter between a husband and wife while sitting in bed watching Jimmy Fallon. Doesn’t everyone talk to their spouse about their day at work?
The Dollar Endgame
I follow this guy on Twitter. He’s really interesting and his analysis is worth a look.
Not a white pill, however.
Fiat ending is not a white pill?
I guess. But the transitions never seem to be very smooth. And CBDC is worse than fiat.
It’s crypto vs. CBDC.
Will there be time?
You’re witnessing managed chaos, just like in any other war.
But there’s no way JPM or GS or any of the big NY banks want a CBDC. It would be the end of them and all commercial banking.
Europe (EU/Davos) is another story. The bloodletting is on, all we can do is watch at this point and root for the psychopaths at the Fed and on Wall Street whose interests align with ours for the moment.
Aren’t the big banks partners in project cedar?
To some extent, not all banks are on the same page.
The current battle is with the offshore dollar market. The EU has been shoring itself up with our money. Powell wants to drain the offshore dollar market, or at least bring it under control. The EU doesn’t want that for obvious reasons. Yellen is definitely is on their side.
The dollar needs to survive this moment.
I thought CBGB’s closed down long ago.
https://www.econlib.org/time-inconsistency-in-bank-regulation/
Listen to this for a slightly different take.
https://youtu.be/ED3BcyGU6-w
The tidbit about Lael Brainard at 51 minutes is highly interesting.
It’s crypto vs. CBDC.
If I’m looking for a hedge against inflation, it has to be something tangible, not another empty “promise”.
Crypto is just another fiat currency.
Now if it was a crypto backed by a large gold deposit in the Phillipines, for example….
As long as it isn’t bullion out of Australia.
MOST of it was 99.9% pure.
I’ll take the three nines gold off of their hands and suitably dispose of it for a small fee.
Wouldn’t Michelle just be a figurehead for her husband? Anyone who points it out would be labeled a misogynist and a racist, but that doesn’t make it less true.
Feature, not bug.
True. But we wouldn’t be allowed to acknowledge it.
Call me old fashioned, but I have more faith in my ability to buy groceries using the cash balance in my bank account than some magical voodoo-coinage which may or may not exist out there in the cloud-verse.
“voodoo-coinage”
Its not nice to talk about the USD that way.
I just trade in animal furs.
Leave me out of this.
I trade in Psychedelic Furs.
In other “you get more of what you reward” news, reported “hate crimes” are going through the roof, especially against the quiltbaggers.
“Reported” being the key word.
Manufactured in many instances. TO RAISE AWARENESS!
Pure Narcissism.
https://twitter.com/MythinformedMKE/status/1635441612632346624
All the cringe
*starts chugging whiskey in vicarious embarrassment*
WTF did I just watch?
the future
How an 18th Century Sailing Battleship Works
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Nr1AgIfajI
That’s cool, I will watch the whole thing once I get home.
There is a “passive-aggressive personality disorder.” I guess being an asshole is a classifiable DSM-V condition.
My impression is that every character flaw, no matter how minor, can be fit into a DSM-V definition.
Gaslighting bitch. Talk about proving that red-heads have no souls.
So many circles, so few backs.
Hey now! 🤨
Lol, Biden has always been on the right side of this issue.
As per usual, total bullshit.
“I’m not joking” – his really bad tell.
TBF, he is indeed not joking. He’s lying.
🙄
One day he is just going to come out and say “I remember when you used to be able to bang your kids without people getting all uppity”
That would have been around 1960. In Claymont, DE. I find it extraordinarily difficult to believe that men were kissing outside a high school in the suburbs of Wilmington in 1960.
I don’t need to even try to imagine. His record on gay marriage is evidence enough that he’s full of shit.
I was going to bring that up. He was a senator, he has plenty of votes on the record.
He’s a well established confabulator and bullshit artist.
Also, he claims his dad was pro-gay.
That’s gayer than the two imaginary dudes kissing.
https://thepostmillennial.com/eight-minors-allegedly-beat-33-year-old-white-woman-unconscious-in-unprovoked-philadelphia-attack
Something…something…Scott Adams…
Yes, phila Inquirer promptly dropped Dilbert. Can’t have someone warning you that half another race hates your skin color.