Monday morning, it’s Spud! links

by | Mar 13, 2023 | Daily Links | 283 comments

Sloopy and Banjos are stuck in a special kind of hell.

Here I am, on the mend. Time to find something to get your blood boiling on a Monday morning.

 

Just another manic Monday…

 

Fill your bracket, get ’em snipped!

 

I admire the aesthetics.

 

I mean, it’s Florida. Will anybody notice?

 

This dude needs to be flogged in the public square with a dead chicken.

 

An unserious nation continues to be unserious. At least we still have Lou Reed.

And a bonus track.

About The Author

Spudalicious

Spudalicious

Survey says I’m a Paleolibertarian bitches. That means I eat “L”ibertarians for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Soave tastes a little fruity. Wait a minute, that doesn’t sound quite right…

283 Comments

  1. Count Potato

    Drug is a verb?

    • Count Potato

      I mean, if it doesn’t involve drugs.

    • SDF-7

      He drug Count Potato’s lifeless corpse from the well after making his skin suit.

      Yeah, checks out.

      • Nephilium

        He drugged the bottle of water that SDF-7 was going to drink from, and also drugged the food that he was going to serve.

        Yep. All works out.

      • SDF-7

        …. sets aside his plate of potato skins and swaps the bottle of water with Nephilium — who is acting like a criminal, and iocane powder comes from Australia, known for its criminal population after all….

      • Count Potato

        Rumors of my death have been greatly exaggerated, and “lifeless corpse” is redundant.

        “Dragged” sounds better to me.

      • SDF-7

        You don’t read enough zombie / demonic possession fiction, I see. Or just haven’t vacationed with Pie in a while. These things matter.

      • Count Potato

        I don’t read fiction, just SugarFree.

      • AlexinCT

        SugarFree isn’t fiction…

        BEWARE!

  2. Count Potato

    I remember not reading that comic strip.

    • SDF-7

      If I’m going to read a comic character going Ack! there’d better be a ppbbtt! after it.

    • Toxteth O'Grady

      Rewatched Office Space recently and chuckled at the Cathy strip on the cube wall going up in flames.

      • SDF-7

        Should have been Garfield. He had a case of the Mondays, after all.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        Monday the 13th!

        She’s on the Carson reruns sometimes; surprisingly attractive.

      • Count Potato

        I have some vague memory of the cartoonist being on David Letterman and being awful.

  3. slumbrew

    I fear Lou had information that would lead to the arrest of Hillary Clinton

    • AlexinCT

      Pfft. I bet he just ticked her off by telling her to lay off all that Chardonnay she drinks….

  4. UnCivilServant

    This dude needs to be flogged in the public square with a dead chicken.

    Seconded. This is just grifting. Nobody really thinks they’re made from de-boned wings, and even if they did, the proper response isn’t stack of cash but to point and laugh.

    • Certified Public Asshat

      Also, why does this seem to happen every few years?

      • AlexinCT

        The new American dream is to get rich, not form hard work and inventiveness, but from a lawsuit and a dumb ass jury that rewards you for being a fucking asshole.

      • Certified Public Asshat

        I get frivolous lawsuits, but trying to litigate boneless wings specifically.

      • AlexinCT

        Some dumbass woman had lawyers litigate and win big cash by blaming McDonalds hot coffee for her being a dumb ass and putting it between her legs in the car before she did something that spilled it and scalded her moneymaker.

      • Certified Public Asshat
      • RBS

        He’s never been one to let the facts get in the way of an opinion.

      • AlexinCT

        Injury attorneys trying to justify why their ambulance chasing was something legit? What’s their take on smoking?

      • Mojeaux

        Alex. Dude. Back down. The woman’s genitals were fried and McDonald’s treated her like shit. All she wanted was her medical bills covered and they wouldn’t even do that much.

    • Fourscore

      Are you suggesting that catfish and bullheads are fish? I’m getting a lawyer and suing someone. MN DNR, get ready

    • Count Potato

      True, but calling them “boneless wings” is also stupid.

      • Nephilium

        Considering it’s also not uncommon to see “tofu wings” or “cauliflower wings”, what else do you want to call chunks of food that’s fried then tossed in wing sauce?

        Chickens also don’t have fingers.

      • Certified Public Asshat

        According to court documents obtained by FOX Television Stations, Halim contends the “boneless wings” are not actually part of a chicken wing but instead “slices of chicken breast meat deep-fried like wings.”

        Compelling argument in the lawsuit.

      • AlexinCT

        Wuhan Batwings FTW!

      • mock-star

        Theyre the chicken of the cave!

      • Count Potato

        Chicken nuggets?

    • Rat on a train

      De-boned? I thought they were from boneless chickens.

    • Ownbestenemy

      Call me when someone makes the argument that Chicago deep-dish is falsely advertised as ‘pizza’

  5. SDF-7

    “You are the dancing squirrel… wild and free… only seventeen!” (ba dum ba dum ba dum….)

    Not a lot to say about the links, sorry. I suppose we should be glad the Fed learned enough from ’08 to hide Schroedinger’s bailout (not a dime from taxpayers! Just ignore the press going whirrrrrrrrrr and inflation!) and I thought everyone knew exactly what “bonesless wings” are. :shrug:

    Morning all, hope your weeks go well.

  6. Count Potato

    “Drifting between the Atlantic coast of Africa and the Gulf of Mexico, the thick mat of algae can provide a habitat for marine life and absorb carbon dioxide. ”

    At least they didn’t mention climate change. What causes such a huge blob of seaweed, and how many eels are in that thing?

    • AlexinCT

      The AGW cultists & priesthood are getting worried that the lemmings are seeing they are full of hot CO2. Shit like predicting the world would end in 5 years, like idiot Greta did in a place people can always find that prediction, and then 5 years later people see nothing happened, can hurt the cause.

      No wonder Greta deleted that tweet. And the AGW church is no longer predicting calamity and catastrophe in the short term – within a range that someone can see it is bullshit in their lifetime – and now are all avoiding hard/specific end of times dates.

      • whiz

        I’ve mentioned this before, but the prediction wasn’t that the world would end in 5years, only that it would end [time unspecified] if we don’t stop using fossil fuels in 5 years. We don’t need to misquote people to make them look crazy 🙂

      • AlexinCT

        AOC said it would end in 12 years some 2 years ago…

      • Muzzled Woodchipper

        Though I might agree, what’s the point in using a time frame at all if you don’t mean others to take it as literally as possible?

        Humanity will end at some unknown point in the future, whether we stop using fossil fuels or not, making her statement useless.

      • AlexinCT

        Life on this rock certainly will die 2-3 billion years from now when our yellow dwarf sun goes to a red giant and swallows Mercury and cooks Venus and us.

    • Shirley Knott

      More than enough to fill your hovercraft.

      • WTF

        Damn you!

    • WTF

      Are they talking about the Sargasso Sea, which has existed for eons?

    • rhywun

      “Eels.”

      Ph’nglui mglw’nafh Cthulhu R’lyeh wgah’nagl fhtagn…

      • Lackadaisical

        It’s actually all eel.

  7. Certified Public Asshat

    Fill your bracket, get ’em snipped!

    I watched Schindler’s List for the first time after mine.

    • AlexinCT

      I just can’t be bothered this year… Just don’t care..

      • Certified Public Asshat

        You don’t need an annual vasectomy.

      • Not Adahn

        Kinkshaming is not cool.

      • Fourscore

        Might need a booster, can’t be too careful

    • Lackadaisical

      I’m never getting snipped. The world needs more kids.

      • Nephilium

        Speaking of that… check out this infuriating local news piece:

        We all need childcare. Cleveland, let’s solve a crisis

        From the article:

        (Please don’t tell me, Don’t have kids unless you can afford them. Having kids should not be a luxury. It is about the most selfless act of life.)

      • WTF

        As you selflessly demand that other people be forced to help pick up the tab.
        Fuck you.

      • Lackadaisical

        Just to be clear, I in no way sorry government funding of daycare, etc.

  8. Count Potato

    “One exhibit is an AI-generated — and totally fake — dialogue between the philosopher Slavoj Zizek and the filmmaker Werner Herzog, two of Europe’s most respected intellectuals.”

    I’d read that.

    • KK the Porcine Pearl-Eater

      I had ChatGPT have a conversation between Ayn Rand and Mao Zedong. It was fucking stupid

      • Lackadaisical

        To be fair, they were probably wouldn’t really have much to say to each other.

      • Count Potato

        Well, their books suck.

      • Fatty Bolger

        Make them do a rap battle next time.

      • Ownbestenemy

        It…doesn’t do a bad job of it.

        Alright, let’s get ready for a historic rap battle! In one corner, we have the founder of the People’s Republic of China, Mao Zedong. And in the other corner, we have the 26th President of the United States, Teddy Roosevelt. Let’s get it started!

        Mao:
        Listen up, Teddy, I’m the Chairman of the nation
        Communism is the way, no room for hesitation
        My revolution brought power to the people
        You couldn’t handle it, your thoughts are feeble

        Teddy:
        I may be from the past, but I’m still a force to reckon
        My words hit hard, like bullets from a Smith & Wesson
        I was the “Rough Rider,” fought battles like a champ
        You hid behind a wall, afraid of getting stamp’d

        Mao:
        Your imperialism was a disease, it had to go
        You stole from other countries, acting like a pro
        I liberated my people from the chains of oppression
        You’ll never know the feeling, just a sad confession

        Teddy:
        You talk of oppression, yet your reign was brutal
        Countless lives lost, your methods futile
        I built the Panama Canal, created national parks
        You destroyed your culture, left your people in the dark

        Mao:
        You may have built canals, but I built a nation
        My people were poor, now they have liberation
        I united my people, created a new era
        Your words are empty, mine are like a lyrical terror

        Teddy:
        Your propaganda won’t work, your reign was a disaster
        I fought for justice, freedom and the American master
        Your words are hollow, your promises are fake
        I’m still remembered, you’re just a footnote, for goodness sake

      • Fatty Bolger

        “You hid behind a wall, afraid of getting stamp’d”

        That’s a pretty clever line.

    • Lackadaisical

      The word salad will be epic.

      • Ownbestenemy

        I will predict will be all the faults of the investors and their risky plays and the bank is the victim.

      • Lackadaisical

        Just one more common sense regulation and we’ll have bank failures whipped

      • The Other Kevin

        It was airline junk fees.

    • The Other Kevin

      The bestest president in history is on the case!

    • The Last American Hero

      So Yellen says they aren’t bailing out the bank, just the depositors and creditors.

      That is the very definition of a bailout and does nothing to remove the moral hazard for next time.

      • Rat on a train

        Remove? It reinforces.

      • whiz

        The stockholders are not getting bailed out (yet).

    • rhywun

      OFFS, Europe. Don’t give us ideas.

    • SDF-7

      More likely they’ll write themselves a minivan ^W loophole but keep their serfs lower and lower tech. Have to show who’s the nobility, after all.

    • AlexinCT

      Who needs an 8K TeeVee?

      /Bernie.

      • AlexinCT

        HI-DEF PORN BABY, HI-DEF PORN!!!

      • juris imprudent

        You love those zits on Riley Reed’s face? Because that’s what you be seeing.

      • Muzzled Woodchipper

        There are some things that decidedly don’t need to be seen in 8K.

      • AlexinCT

        I like the one on their asses…

      • rhywun

        That was my first thought.

    • Lackadaisical

      The power consumption of TV’s now is a lot lower than it was in the past, no?

      • Nephilium

        Yes. Yes it is. I have two cabinet arcade games in the basement that have old school CRT’s mounted in them. I left them on for a couple weeks after I got them. The power bill for that month was much higher than usual.

      • Count Potato

        Way lower. They used to have vacuum tubes. Modern TV’s don’t even get warm.

    • Sensei

      DEI Holdings (aka Dennon and Marantz) have been playing this game for a while.

      https://manuals.denon.com/AVRX3500H/eu/en/HJWMSYqdgglnxg.php#:~:text=standby%20mode%20settings.-,ECO%20Mode,turn%20the%20maximum%20power%20output.

      In this case aside from complexity and cost it inflicts no performance penalty. At any kind of listening volume the receiver will automatically kick out of Eco mode. If you want modestly (and likely inaudible) reduced performance you can force Eco mode to remain on. If you don’t want it at all you can turn it off.

  9. SDF-7

    ‘Orning ‘ordles — middle of the road… squished like grape.

    Daily Duotrigordle #376
    Guesses: 35/37
    Time: 05:16.13
    https://duotrigordle.com/

    Daily Quordle 413
    5️⃣4️⃣
    8️⃣7️⃣
    quordle.com

    • Sean

      Daily Quordle 413
      8️⃣6️⃣
      4️⃣9️⃣
      quordle.com

      Blech.

    • rhywun

      Meh.

      Daily Quordle 413
      8️⃣5️⃣
      4️⃣6️⃣

    • Tundra

      Daily Quordle 413
      5️⃣7️⃣
      4️⃣3️⃣

      Not bad for no sleep.

  10. Certified Public Asshat

    Just got off of a zoom meeting with Fed, Treasury, FDIC, House, and Senate.A Democrat Senator essentially asked whether there was a program in place to censor information on social media that could lead to a run on the banks.— Thomas Massie (@RepThomasMassie) March 13, 2023

    Our betters.

    • Scruffyy Nerfherder

      For some reason, Democrats think that censoring information leads to greater confidence in the system.

      I think they’re about to get an education.

      • The Other Kevin

        All the people who vote for them like it, so obviously it’s the right thing to to.

    • SDF-7

      Oh great — same logic that brought us the whole “fire in a theater” method of clamping down on draft protest political speech. Yay for that stupidity.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        If you’re afraid of yelling fire and there is a fire everyone burns up. Nothing hurts confidence in institutions more than censorship.

  11. The Late P Brooks

    What about the cruel enslavement of AI chatbots? Why must they be forced to serve the needs of mankind?

    • AlexinCT

      Talk dirty to me AI!

      • SDF-7

        So… have Siri do the narration for this?

      • AlexinCT

        Hey Siri!

        WHAT ARE YOU WEARING ON YOUR FEET????

  12. Scruffyy Nerfherder

    Just got the obligatory email from my bank this morning.

    In all honesty, I think they’re in relatively good shape because of the nature of their deposits and because they’re not in long-term Treasuries. I was studying their balance sheet for the first time this weekend. Regardless, I will be moving part of the business cash around to spread the risk.

    It’s probably not a good day to be a bank president.

  13. pistoffnick

    I might be mistaken, but I think it is MikeS.’ birthday today.

    Happy Birthday, kid.

    • SDF-7

      At least it isn’t his First.

      (Happy b’day, MikeS.)

      • Fourscore

        Didn’t he just have one last year?

    • Ted S.

      Tomorrow is the 90th birthday for both Michael Caine and Quincy Jones.

    • DEG

      Happy Birthday MikeS!

  14. The Late P Brooks

    The announcement came amid fears that the factors that caused the Santa Clara, California-based bank to fail could spread. Regulators had worked all weekend to try to find a buyer for the bank, which was the second-largest bank failure in history. Those efforts appeared to have failed Sunday.

    In a sign of how fast the financial bleeding was occurring, regulators announced that New York-based Signature Bank had also failed and was being seized on Sunday. At more than $110 billion in assets, Signature Bank is the third-largest bank failure in U.S. history.

    The near-financial crisis that U.S. regulators had to intervene to prevent left Asian markets jittery as trading began Monday. Japan’s benchmark Nikkei 225 sank 1.6% in morning trading, Australia’s S&P/ASX 200 lost 0.3% and South Korea’s Kospi shed 0.4%. But Hong Kong’s Hang Seng rose 1.4% and the Shanghai Composite increased 0.3%.

    In an effort to shore up confidence in the banking system, the Treasury Department, Federal Reserve and FDIC said Sunday that all Silicon Valley Bank clients would be protected and able to access their money. They also announced steps that are intended to protect the bank’s customers and prevent additional bank runs.

    Tinkerbell has had a nasty fright, but she’s going to pull through. Keep clapping, everybody!

  15. Scruffyy Nerfherder

    We eagerly await the resignation of every politician who supported the CARES Act, quantitative easing, and every other stimulus program for the past fifty years.

    White House statements claimed Biden had directed US Treasury Secretary Janet Yellen and National Economic Council Director to work with banking regulators to address problems at Silicon Valley Bank and Signature Bank.

    “I’m pleased they reached a solution that protects workers, small businesses, taxpayers, and our financial system,” he added.

    He also assured action against “those responsible for the mess”.

    I’m firmly committed to holding those responsible for this mess fully accountable and to continuing our efforts to strengthen oversight and regulation of larger banks so that we are not in this position again,” he tweeted.

    https://www.zerohedge.com/markets/watch-live-president-biden-explains-resilience-us-banking-system

    • Scruffyy Nerfherder

      continuing our efforts to strengthen oversight and regulation of larger banks so that we are not in this position again

      LOL, a complete misunderstanding of the situation.

      • SDF-7

        Look, fat… when there’s only one US bank run directly by fiat from the President or Big Wampum Warren’s CFPB, it won’t be allowed to fail! And you won’t be allowed to take your money out… so no bank runs!

        Now sit down and shut up or I’ll take you behind the gym with my rusty razor from a rain barrel or wrap this chain around your head!

      • R.J.

        I believe the goal will be to invite Chinese banks in the country, as they are the largest and most stable. Doesn’t take a Karnak to see that coming. Also as soon as Biden said “the banking system is safe,” I knew America banking was doomed.

  16. juris imprudent

    Attention Virginia Glibs, I need a lawyer for a real estate issue; any referrals/recommendations? The house we bought down there turns out to have major termite damage which neither the termite inspection or home inspection discovered. So I will be going after both of them and the agents and brokers that employed or recommended them. Also turns out there is a layer of asbestos, also not disclosed under the siding. It was not a good weekend.

    • Sean

      Oof. Sorry dude.

      • SDF-7

        Yeowch…. if it wasn’t for the asbestos cleanup, I’d be thinking “raze the site and rebuild”, but that’s going to be a chunk of change either way.

        Good luck — in a sane world, at a bare minimum you should recoup from the inspection company. Too cynical to be sure of that, of course.

    • Count Potato

      Yikes! Sorry.

    • Semi-Spartan Dad

      I’m sorry to hear that. We had similar issues in our house, although not nearly to that extent. I’m still not sure how the 500lb gun safe didn’t crash through the kitchen floor on move-in day. One large hole where the subfloor had been eaten away and there was nothing between the safe and an 8 foot drop but vinyl floor.

      Given the close-knit nature of these small towns, a lawyer in your town might be better than an outsider. If not, I’m guessing someone in Mt Airy who’s licensed in VA would be the closest city with several law firms. Martinsville and Christiansburg have decent lawyers, but the travel costs will be steep if it’s not settled and you don’t get awarded expenses.

      • juris imprudent

        Actually I was hoping to hear from you if you know anyone in Roanoke. Someone close but not too close (because that immediate area is full of good-old-boys).

      • Semi-Spartan Dad

        I’m not sure about in Roanoke. We’ve used a good Roanoke lawyer to successfully defend a suit from a vengeful former employer, but she doesn’t sound right for this situation.

        The wife has family there though, and I’ll ask them about recommendations.

      • juris imprudent

        Thanks, any input is appreciated.

      • juris imprudent

        The name Penn-Stuart down in Bristol came up, with the adjective ruthless, which I like.

    • AlexinCT

      Wow, that sucks man…

    • Lackadaisical

      Jesus, sorry to hear.

      Are there any required disclosures from homeowners for termite damage or asbestos in Virginia? Could be the seller is also liable?

      • juris imprudent

        Licensed exterminator did not check off “Visible damage”, which this here dumbass amateur found (once I was told what to look for). Neither did the licensed building inspector. The selling agent/broker will be the one in trouble for non-disclosure of asbestos.

        There may be an article out of this – just because y’all won’t believe the pictures I took yesterday and it would certainly be edumacationable.

      • AlexinCT

        Do you have a mortgage? Will bringing in the bank in that case help you? I am sure the bank wants to make sure their investment isn’t FUBAR.

      • juris imprudent

        That thought had occurted to me, but I want an attorney that represents me first.

      • AlexinCT

        Wise move..

    • juris imprudent

      Oh and thanks Tonio for the out of band communications!

    • DEG

      Sorry

  17. The Late P Brooks

    President Joe Biden said Sunday evening as he boarded Air Force One back to Washington that he would speak about the bank situation on Monday. In a statement, Biden also said he was “firmly committed to holding those responsible for this mess fully accountable and to continuing our efforts to strengthen oversight and regulation of larger banks so that we are not in this position again.”

    This fills me with pride and confidence. Git ’em, Joe!

    • Bob Boberson

      / Joe raises defiant fist in the air, shakes hands with invisible person, shits pants.

      • The Gunslinger

        / Joe starts moving stage left while pointing and looking at unknown person off-stage. Joe freezes, turns 180 degrees and starts moving stage right while still pointing. Joe gets to the edge of the stage and trips going down the steps, shits pants a second time.

      • The Gunslinger

        / Confidence in the US banking system is restored.

        Praise Brandon.

      • AlexinCT

        Considering the crisis we have now is that the bank’s investors, sitting on piles of fresh government printed money and hearing that the Fed threatened to raise interest rates because of inflation still doubled down on buying securities that would implode if interest rates were increased…

        This was either done by design to destroy the bank, or these crooks just bet stupid and then got their dicks cought in the blender.

      • dbleagle

        Is Pink Floyd in town? I think I just saw a large flying pig.

  18. Rebel Scum

    US government moves to stop potential banking crisis

    A crisis likely of its own making that it will now make worse.

    • Bob Boberson

      They will come in and save the bank by enacting the same policies (printer go brrrr) that incentivized the fiscal irresponsibility to begin with. I’m so glad we have serious people in charge.

      • SDF-7

        Never let a crisis go to waste when you can increase your power and set up for the next crisis… the political version of writing yourself a minivan.

      • Rebel Scum

        I, for one, am just glad my grocery bill is up 75%.

    • Ownbestenemy

      I bet calls to nationalize the banking system (further) will be in play this week.

  19. The Late P Brooks

    Treasury Secretary Janet Yellen pointed to rising interest rates, which have been increased by the Federal Reserve to combat inflation, as the core problem for Silicon Valley Bank. Many of its assets, such as bonds or mortgage-backed securities, lost market value as rates climbed.

    Nothing another massive infusion of cash can’t fix.

    • Scruffyy Nerfherder

      We appear to be locked in now.

    • Muzzled Woodchipper

      So you’re telling me Joe is going after the Fed? He said he was going to get those responsible….

      • waffles

        lol, lmao

  20. Rebel Scum

    Man sues Buffalo Wild Wings, claims pricey ‘boneless wings’ are basically nuggets

    He’s not too chicken to engage in a frivolous lawsuit.

    • robc

      Boneless chickens are expensive to raise.

      • Michael Malaise

        The exoskeletons cost a fortune.

    • Michael Malaise

      pricey ‘boneless wings’”

      He has a point.

  21. The Late P Brooks

    Juris- have you talked to the title insurance company?

    • Scruffyy Nerfherder

      As others have pointed out, SVB conducted itself exactly as you would expect it to if the red-headed step-child of Keynesianism, aka MMT, was a valid theory.

      • Sensei

        That is actually accurate too.

    • Gustave Lytton

      Keiretsu without seppuku.

      • Sensei

        In Japan the CEO wouldn’t be making the money CEO Becker was. OTH, soaplands!

        I’d love to see him doing the obligatory press conference and the deep bows, however.

    • slumbrew

      Then there’s this: In its proxy statement, SVB notes that besides 91% of their board being independent and 45% women, they also have “1 Black,” “1 LGBTQ+” and “2 Veterans.” I’m not saying 12 white men would have avoided this mess, but the company may have been distracted by diversity demands.

      Somebody’s going to lose his cocktail party invites.

    • AlexinCT

      The honkey won?

      • Not Adahn

        Hey, she was portraying an overweight, overaged lesbian that bagged a woman out of her league! That’s a protected class that it completely underrepresented in fantasy fulfilment portrayals!

      • The Last American Hero

        Don’t you #oscarssowhite, bruh?

      • AlexinCT

        I don’t OsScar at all..

        If there is some drama, like Will Smith bitch slapping Chris Rock and leaving him with a permanent case of “Summertime” ringing in his ears or Ricky Gervais telling the upstarts to fuck off, I don’t want to waste time.

    • Ownbestenemy

      You are not allowed to be disappointed, its Hollywood. And agree, but remove Hollywood Angela Bassett and I bet she doesn’t look that good.

    • Not Adahn

      “losing the gong?” Is this a Britishism, or just DM proofreading?

      • Ownbestenemy

        …as the word ‘award’ is tirelessly banded about, the word ‘gong’ is used in place of it, to keep things interesting.

        Can’t institute a religion if your priesthood doesn’t have their own language.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Britishism. I remember seeing in The Economist 25 years ago.

    • PieInTheSky

      wait the Oscars are still a thing?

  22. CPRM

    Thank goodness we have the FED, otherwise there might be bank runs like the bad old days.

    • Count Potato

      Well, not here in Bedford Falls!

  23. Sensei

    Paging Mexican Sharpshooter

    Used Rolexes Are Beating the Stock Market

    Secondhand luxury watches have become increasingly popular in recent years, particularly with younger buyers, a new report says
    Some collectors see luxury watches as investment pieces.

    Sigh… Similar to collector cars it’s nice to be able to “use” your investment, but here we go again. The volatility and liquidity issues are huge. You shouldn’t be banking your retirement on your collection of Patek Phillippe watches.

    Unless it is the Patek Philippe Henry Graves Supercomplication

  24. The Late P Brooks

    Tiffany Dufu, founder and CEO of The Cru, a New York-based career coaching platform and community for women, posted a video Sunday on LinkedIn from an airport bathroom, saying the bank crisis was testing her resiliency. Given that her money was tied up at Silicon Valley Bank, she had to pay her employees out of her personal bank account. With two teenagers to support who will be heading to college, she said she was relieved to hear that the government’s intent is to make depositors whole.

    “Small businesses and early-stage startups don’t have a lot of access to leverage in a situation like this, and we’re often in a very vulnerable position, particularly when we have to fight so hard to get the wires into your bank account to begin with, particularly for me, as a Black female founder,” Dufu told The Associated Press.

    Way to keep your eye on the ball, Ms Dufus.

    • Gustave Lytton

      Life coach or non sequitur generator?

    • RBS

      WORDS!

      “Our two-sided model helps us deliver unique insights
      The Cru will become the largest
      database of women’s goals.
      We deliver aggregate engagement metrics and proprietary insights to inform a company’s Human Capital and Diversity, Equity & Inclusion strategies. Our data helps leaders to measure the acceleration of their talent to ensure ROI.”

    • AlexinCT

      He is pissed that after all that work to confound his role in this shit, it is still coming out. All that money he made, it is now at risk and he might end up not being able to get positive TeeVee time he so craves in the future if the people actually realize the gnome was playing them all.

      • Ownbestenemy

        The thing is he has enough deniability while working as an agent of the US and the fact that we have no serious intention of actually holding people accountable that need to be held accountable.

      • Scruffyy Nerfherder

        A deteriorating situation on almost all fronts at the federal level leads me to believe they will find themselves some scapegoats to pillory.

        Fauci should be worried.

    • WTF

      He really is a vile piece of shit.

    • Fourscore

      “Whatcha talkin’ ’bout, Willis”?

  25. Rebel Scum

    Except taxpayers already bailed them out…

    Plans announced Sunday to fully reimburse deposits made in the collapsed Silicon Valley Bank and the shuttered Signature Bank will rely on Wall Street and large financial institutions — not taxpayers — to foot the bill, Treasury officials said.

    “For the banks that were put into receivership, the FDIC will use funds from the Deposit Insurance Fund to ensure that all of its depositors are made whole,” said a senior Treasury Department official, who spoke to reporters Sunday about the plan on the condition of anonymity.

    • Certified Public Asshat

      We’ll get the banks to stop taking massive risk by covering all deposits 1:1.

    • Lackadaisical

      “The man was later identified as Dhalsim Jackson-Mayes.”

      I wonder if a street fight got out of hand.

      • EvilSheldon

        Boo.

    • Not Adahn

      #8 birdshot has 410 pellets/oz.

  26. Tundra

    Good morning, Spud!

    Good to hear you are on the road to recovery.

    Prediction: the SVB fiasco will be used by the Feds to scare the shit out of normies, further consolidate the industry, sabotage crypto and solve everything with the long anticipated CBDC.

    This sucks.

    • PieInTheSky

      The government is competent and has your best interest in mid.
      The government is competent and has your best interest in mid.
      The government is competent and has your best interest in mid.
      The government is competent and has your best interest in mid.
      The government is competent and has your best interest in mid.

      • whiz

        I see the government has its usual competency — “mid”

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      You’ll get the shot kicked out of you? Rightly?
      For your lace color?

      Eat a dick, asshole.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Neph will be by soon…this is old news in my parts of the punk circles I ran in.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        The way “punk’s” been going lately I think you might also get the shit kicked out of you if you aren’t currently boosted. Lydon’s the only one left that’s worth a damn.

      • Nephilium

        Yep. Lace codes are a thing. It’s almost like subcultures have unique identifiers, codes, and shibboleths that outsiders aren’t meant to get.

      • EvilSheldon

        I always thought that white power skins wore white laces, and punk skins wore red.

        But I also thought that Docs were for tourists and posers. Skins wear Gripfast and Rangers.

      • RBS

        Charles C. W. Cooke
        @charlescwcooke
        ·
        Mar 12
        Replying to
        @BDSixsmith
        It’s crucial to ensure that nobody associates boots made by Klaus Märtens during the Second World War with the Nazis.

      • Michael Malaise

        Technically, I think he made them after the war in Madrid. He was a doctor in the German army and had an injured foot that most shoes didn’t help. The company was bought by Brits in 1959.

      • rhywun

        So it’s really Doc Märtens??

        Huh.

      • R.J.

        That’s the link I was looking for.

  27. The Late P Brooks

    Greenest President ever

    President Joe Biden will declare the entire U.S. Arctic Ocean off limits to new oil and gas leasing, even as a decision looms on whether it will approve a controversial oil project in Alaska, according to a senior administration official.

    The administration will also announce Monday new rules meant to make 13 million acres in the National Petroleum Reserve-Alaska off limits for new leases, the official said. Those protections would extend to the Teshekpuk Lake, Utukok Uplands, Colville River, Kasegaluk Lagoon, and Peard Bay Special Areas, the official said.

    But these rules would not affect the controversial Willow project, which the administration is expected to greenlight this week, because ConocoPhillips already has leases. That drilling project would produce up to 180,000 barrels a day of oil in the Alaska wilderness — an anticipated decision that has drawn the ire of environmentalists.

    The White House has been mulling the Willow decision for weeks. The deliberations have focused on the legal constraints posed by the fact that Conoco has held some leases for decades and “has certain valid, existing rights granted by prior Administrations, limiting the Biden Administration’s options,” the official continued.

    Stopping new oil leases, plus other measures meant to conserve the Arctic from new drilling, is meant as a “fire wall” to protect 16 million acres of land and water in the state, said the official.

    We tried everything we could think of to weasel out of the Willow deal, but it looks like we still haven’t found a way.

  28. The Late P Brooks

    I bet calls to nationalize the banking system (further) will be in play this week.

    This would never have happened if the Post Office had been allowed to get into the retail banking business!

  29. The Late P Brooks

    Also, there will be calls to strengthen regulation ‘to increase competition’, which will have the exact opposite effect.

    • CPRM

      The sexual relationships took place at HMP Berwyn, in Wrexham, Wales

      At least it wasn’t sheep

    • Scruffyy Nerfherder

      I am relatively surprised that it was a men’s prison.

      • Count Potato

        We’re returning to Ancient Greece where women were considered the wanton sex.

      • Not Adahn

        Chicks dig bad boys.

  30. PieInTheSky

    Monetary policies with fewer subsidies for banks: A two-tier system of minimum reserve requirements

    https://cepr.org/voxeu/columns/monetary-policies-fewer-subsidies-banks-two-tier-system-minimum-reserve-requirements

    “The ECB subsidises commercial banks massively against inflation, which constitutes a more than €1 trillion transfer of money from taxpayers to private banks over the next ten years. This column argues the subsidies are exorbitant and proposes a two-tier system of non-interest-bearing minimum reserve requirements on part of bank reserves. This will reduce the excessive subsidies to banks while maintaining the current operating procedure used by the central bank. It will also alleviate the burden on taxpayers and avoid making the ECB’s operating procedure unsustainable.

    We are aware that this proposal is quite intrusive and is resisted by the banks, which will see an easy source of profit disappear at once. It is likely to be resisted by central banks also because it implies a return to operating procedures that existed in a reserve scarcity regime prior to the financial crisis. The ECB, together with other central banks, now embrace their new operating procedure (arising from the abundant reserve regime), which consists in raising the rate of remuneration on bank reserves as an instrument to increase the market interest rate in their fight against inflation. This has also led to a widespread conviction, one could even use the term ‘dogma’, among central bankers and economists, that this is the only reasonable operating procedure. It is hard to fight dogmas.”

  31. The Late P Brooks

    But environmental groups have argued that oil companies have lost interest in drilling in Alaska in recent years and not much would be lost in ceasing new leases. The Center for Western Priorities, a progressive group advocating land conservation, said analysis of government data showed oil companies have leased less than 11 percent of the 24 million acres of land in the NPR-A that Interior has put up for lease since 2014. Companies bought leases worth only 80,000 acres of the 10 million the Trump administration offered in the NPR-A in 2017, the group noted.

    “If the reporting on Willow is accurate, President Biden is about to dig himself a massive hole when it comes to public lands and the energy transition,” CWP Executive Director Jennifer Rokala said in a statement. “If the Biden administration is serious about their commitments to address the climate and nature crises, it’s imperative that the president double down on durable, meaningful action.”

    We’ll convert everything to rubber band power, and the planet will be saved.

    • CPRM

      ‘nature crises’ good to see all that greenwashing money is paying for new buzzwords.

    • Trigger Hippie

      ‘But environmental groups have argued that oil companies have lost interest in drilling in Alaska in recent years and not much would be lost in ceasing new leases.’

      It’s almost as if energy companies have lost faith that the leasing contracts will be honored.

      • AlexinCT

        Correct. The industry has not lost the desire to drill. They have simply seen how the hostility makes it impossible for them to get to the drilling… That’s a serious difference in reason for the lack of interests/action.

  32. KSuellington

    It’s reassuring that we have Joe Biden coming out of the daycare to tell us that the banking system is just honkey dorey, taxpayers won’t foot the bill for all this, and it was all Trump’s fault for all that derugulating he done did.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Whether or not taxpayers will foot the bill on this depends on what the definition of foot the bill is. Directly, no; Indirectly, yes but those in charge know enough to realize that most people have no idea what’s going on when it comes to banking and money printing.

      • KSuellington

        Absolutely. I’m sure it will all be done indirectly so they have the political cover to claim they stuck it to the fatcats. More fees, more taxes and more printing will be the order of the day. It will probably be successful too, that is if you are following their definition of success which means that the blame for it will largely be averted from them and their shitty policies.

    • Not Adahn

      She started with £500m?

  33. Count Potato

    “MICHIGAN GOV. WHITMER ON COVID LOCKDOWNS: “We had to make some decisions that in retrospect don’t make a lot of sense, right? […] We didn’t want people, you know, all congregating around the gardening supplies. […] It was February in Michigan, no one was planting anyway…””

    https://twitter.com/Breaking911/status/1635103145893462016

    Fuck you and your flying monkeys.

      • AlexinCT

        Nice…

    • Ownbestenemy

      Cause you can’t start planting indoors…what a fucking cunte and the reporter who is too pussy to push back on that.

      • Count Potato

        As far as I know the ban started late March and went well into Spring.

    • Certified Public Asshat

      no one was planting anyway

      so, it was actually a safe place to be.

    • CPRM

      Harrison Ford presented the Best Picture award for the movie, and they hugged. Ok Groomer.

    • KSuellington

      That’s good enough for me.

    • rhywun

      Awww

      • Ownbestenemy

        Yeah, I don’t care much about award shows but that tugged the Gen-X heartstrings

  34. CPRM

    drinks

    this cocktail and it’s name

    the name

    cocktails

    They seem a bit confused on the basics of the story.

  35. The Late P Brooks

    Pay no attention to the massive snowpack behind the curtain

    Some of the tall, stately trees that have grown up in California’s Sierra Nevada are no longer compatible with the climate they live in, new research has shown.

    Hotter, drier conditions driven by climate change in the mountain range have made certain regions once hospitable to conifers — such as sequoia, ponderosa pine and Douglas fir — an environmental mismatch for the cone-bearing trees.

    “They were exactly where we expected them to be, kind of along the lower-elevation, warmer and drier edges of the conifer forests in the Sierras,” Avery Hill, who worked on the study as a graduate student at Stanford University, told NPR.

    Although there are conifers in those areas now, Hill and other researchers suggested that as the trees die out, they’ll be replaced with other types of vegetation better suited to the environmental conditions.

    The team estimated that about 20% of all Sierra Nevada conifer trees in California are no longer compatible with the climate around them and are in danger of disappearing. They dubbed these trees “zombie forests.”

    Oh, horror. Something might change? How will we survive?

  36. waffles

    listening to very “respectable” people say the fed must change course and lower rates makes me get pretty damn annoyed.

    • Scruffyy Nerfherder

      They effectively already have done so. They just haven’t announced it as such.

    • Certified Public Asshat

      There is no out here. Rates will stay “high” and the fed will just print to patch any blow ups.

    • Ownbestenemy

      WTF have meese ever done to anyone.

      • CPRM

        Thwarted Boris and Natasha. So of course Fox-Putin wants to take them down.

      • Ted S.

        One of them bit my sister.

    • rhywun

      “Balancing species”.

      Sorry, moosies – to save Gaia you need to die off.

    • Shirley Knott

      Why does Chesterton’s fence spring immediately to mind?

    • Not Adahn

      I hear that they are the prime vector and reservoirs for ticks.

      Kill them all.

  37. PieInTheSky

    “Since its inception in 2001, Wikipedia has transformed from an encyclopedia that adopted a strict “teach the controversy” approach (whereby a diversity of opinions and sources were reflected in articles) to one where Wikipedia takes firm sides on contested subjects.”

    https://twitter.com/whyvert/status/1634998504396587009

    • rhywun

      I thought it was more a reflection of the basement-dwellers who “guard” anything controversial – they’re all lefties.

      I’m sure the board is leftist too but I was under the impression that they don’t write the articles.

  38. The Late P Brooks

    listening to very “respectable” people say the fed must change course and lower rates makes me get pretty damn annoyed.

    Let me guess: we’re teetering on the brink of a financial collapse unlike anything we have ever seen before. Damn the torpedoes. Full steam ahead.

    • Count Potato

      BoA is slightly up. As is the Dow and S&P.

      • Muzzled Woodchipper

        People fleeing one (or more) bank means that they must go to another. I don’t know the internal workings of BoA enough to know if their shit is on the level, but I do know they’re massive and can likely absorb shit so long as they didn’t decide to do epically stupid things like put 1/2 of their deposits in long term treasury bonds with almost zero interest rates, and other huge chunks of cash in MBS, a la pre-08.

    • AlexinCT

      See the fuglies in the back with their signs knowing they are being upsatged?

      • Ownbestenemy

        Smart move with the go-pro strapped to the chest too.

    • rhywun

      the district “rejects all forms of hatred and discrimination,” and it strives to “rejoice” in the diversity of its community

      Quack quack quack.

      More of this, please.

  39. PieInTheSky

    Here’s a story I wrote 5yes ago about Barney Frank — earning +$1 million on Signature Bank’s board — using his name as author of Dodd-Frank to push a bipartisan bill to deregulate Signature

    Signature failed yesterday & the FDIC will cover its depositors

    https://twitter.com/JStein_WaPo/status/1635248606042259457

    • Scruffyy Nerfherder

      I laugh every time somebody points to Dodd-Frank as preventing anything, that is other than good management.

      Frank is and was a corrupt asshole who installed his fuckboi at Fannie Mae. Dodd was up to his eyeballs in corruption with Countrywide, who was writing him sweetheart loans while peddling subprime mortgages,

    • R.J.

      Wow. Half of those renderings made them bears. That will be a popular thread.

      • rhywun

        “Oh, my!”

  40. The Late P Brooks

    Save us, oh Wise Ones

    Goldman Sachs no longer sees a case for the Federal Reserve to deliver a rate hike at its meeting next week, citing “recent stress” in the financial sector.

    Earlier Sunday, U.S. regulators announced measures to stem contagion fears following the collapse of Silicon Valley Bank. Regulators also closed Signature Bank, citing systemic risk.

    “In light of the stress in the banking system, we no longer expect the FOMC to deliver a rate hike at its next meeting on March 22,” Goldman economist Jan Hatzius said in a Sunday note.

    The firm had previously expected the Federal Reserve to hike rates by 25 basis points. Last month, the rate-setting Federal Open Market Committee boosted the federal funds rate by a quarter percentage point to a target range of 4.5% to 4.75%, the highest since October 2007.

    Is there a more reputable source of analysis than Goldman Sachs?

    • Shirley Knott

      The entrails of doves?

  41. Count Potato

    “The Democrats’ Disastrous Miscalculation on Civil Liberties

    Americans have been told a dangerous and uncertain world requires stronger managers and less freedom, but the decline of civil liberties is what started this mess…

    I then had to keep my mouth shut as an elected official shifted to Dad mode to admonish me to “take off the tinfoil hat,” because “there’s not a “vast conspiracy,” by which he meant he apparently meant my last three months of work.

    Allred then went on MSNBC, where my former friend Chris Hayes with a straight face suggested he didn’t see a “government angle” in either the Twitter Files or our testimony — both of which were more or less entirely about that issue — and Allred beamed in agreement, saying the discovery of Truthout and Ultra Maga Dog Mom on federal blacklists was just the FBI “pointing out that certain actions are probably Russian disinformation ops.” He also offered the ironic criticism that some people are “stuck in an information loop, in which you’re not allowing outside information in”:”

    https://www.racket.news/p/the-democrats-disastrous-miscalculation

    It’s always RUSSIA with these assholes.

    • Scruffyy Nerfherder

      For a perfect demonstration of how the Democrats now think, look at Massie’s tweet from today where he states that a Democratic senator asked if the government could just censor bad news about banks.

      • Muzzled Woodchipper

        We have entered very dangerous territory. We’ve moved from a closed news system in which we were all force fed what they wanted us to hear, to a daily open and democratized system of news gathering and dissemination, to one that was censored on the down-low so that you’d only hear approved messages, to one where we have senators openly expressing their desire to censor what they don’t approve of.

        Moobs demanded censorship of Tucker on the Senate floor. A week later this ass hat senator is demanding we censor people about a series of bank runs. When they can openly call for censoring speech they don’t like without serious repercussions, we’re in big trouble.

  42. The Late P Brooks

    Leadership

    Laying out highlights of his administration’s response, Biden said the banks’ leaders will face repercussions.

    “The management of these banks will be fired,” he said. “If the bank is taken over by FDIC, the people running the bank should not work there anymore.”

    Biden added, “investors in the banks will not be protected. They knowingly took a risk, and when the risk didn’t pay off, investors lose their money. That’s how capitalism works.”

    In a bid to contain the crisis, the Biden administration announced on Sunday that customers of Silicon Valley Bank and Signature Bank would have full access to their deposits, even if their account totals were above the maximum $250,000 covered by federal insurance.

    Giving new details about his administration’s response, Biden also promised a “full accounting of what happened and why,” so anyone who acted in an irresponsible way can be held accountable.

    To prevent similar situations from recurring, Biden said he would ask Congress and regulators to strengthen the rules, which he said had been weakened during the Trump administration.

    Let the scapegoating commence. Starting with President Cartoon Villain, of course. Set blamethrowers on full dispersion.

  43. DEG

    At least we still have Lou Reed.

    Yes. It’s a good song.

    In a separate announcement, the Fed late Sunday announced an expansive emergency lending program that’s intended to prevent a wave of bank runs that would threaten the stability of the banking system and the economy as a whole.

    What could possibly go wrong?

    AGI is “artificial intelligence that is able to do anything that a human would be able to do,” integrating human cognitive capacities into machines.

    Imagine the porn coming out of that.

    However, the giant bloom can have disastrous consequences as it gets closer to the shore. Coral, for instance, can be deprived of sunlight. As the seaweed decomposes it can release hydrogen sulfide, negatively impact the air and water and causing respiratory problems for people in the surrounding area.

    “Can” instead of “may”. Interesting. Still means “might or might not”.