As Seen on TV: Cartoon Day

by | Apr 5, 2023 | Entertainment, Film | 158 comments

As those of you who are very astute observers may have noticed, sometimes I attempt to pretend I can make cartoons. As such, I’m very sure you have long wondered what sort of whimsical cartoons have been my inspiration. That is why I write to you today, dear reader. To share some of the cartoons that have informed My Truth, on this very special episode of ‘As Seen On TV’.
[SHOW INTRO PLAYS]
I am going to focus on shows that aired on Cartoon Network’s Adult Swim programming block, specifically some of the lesser known shows you may have missed. I know that some of you are very much aware of a few the more popular shows like Venture Bros., Sealab 2021 and one of my more direct inspirations Aqua Teen Hunger Force. (if you aren’t familiar, each of those links to a sample of each series) But here are a few you may have missed.

FRISKY DINGO (2006)
This show gives it to you strong and hard. Wait, are we not doing phrasing anymore? That’s right, Frisky Dingo was co-created by Adam Reed, co-creator of Sealab 2021 and creator of Archer. Where as Archer is a take on the spy genre, Frisky Dingo was a take on the super hero genre before the current crop of multi-versal comic book movies were a thing. The show focuses on rich playboy Xander Crews (who is not so secretly the superhero Awesome X) and his arch nemesis Killface. The show took wierd quirky turns like focusing on Killface trying raise his son as a single parent or pitting Xander and Killface against eachother in run for President (where Killface’s running mate was a baby penguin). It ran for 2 glorious seasons.

 

MINORITEAM (2005)
I have heard it said that Blazing Saddles couldn’t be made today due to the cultural shift the left has undergone, but this show from 2006 might get you labeled a ‘Domestic Terrorist’ for even mentioning that it existed. I’ll just quote the Wikipedia entry for the members of this Super Hero team and you’ll get the idea.

Minoriteam
Dr. Wang, Chinese Human Calculator (voiced by Dana Snyder) – The leader of the Minoriteam. He is paraplegic. He has a terrible personality and powerful mental abilities gained from drinking his own urine. He also owns and operates a laundromat where he charges extra to get your clothes back from the machines. In addition, he has faked accidents to obtain legal settlements and is a compulsive gambler. He has no known non-stereotypical in real life. In the episode “The Assimilator”, Dr. Wang gives the team “tea” to drink and then tells them that it is his urine. His depiction as Chinese, however, leans more to the stereotype of Northeast Chinese people, mostly with his mustache and queue, which otherwise makes his design reminiscent of Dr. Fu Manchu.
El Jefe (voiced by Nick Puga) – El Jefe is an overweight, moustached Mexican who fights crime with the Leafblower 3000, the deadliest weapon in the entire universe. His mask is a Sombrero pulled halfway down his face with eye holes cut in it. In his non-stereotypical real life, Richard Escartin is the handsome billionaire CEO of his own oil company. El Jefe is also 1/18th Viking.
Fasto (voiced by Rodney Saulsberry) – An African-American who is known as “the fastest man that ever was.” In addition, he seems to have the power to seduce or charm all white women in the immediate area. Fasto wears a green mask, a T-shirt, cut-off jeans, striped tube socks, and sneakers. In his non-stereotypical real life, Landon K. Dutton is a bookish and bespectacled Professor of Women’s Studies. He vigorously pursues sexual relationships with what he calls “booty” (especially white women) but is uninterested in an exclusive relationship. His father is a space-alien from the planet Blackton which was destroyed by Balactus.
Jewcano (voiced by Enn Reitel) – A white-bearded, massively muscular man in a yarmulke (which he can throw like a deadly frisbee a la Wonder Woman’s tiara) and a Star of David leotard with the powers of the Jewish faith and the fiery fury of an erupting volcano (after being knocked into a volcano accidentally by Dr. Wang). He is always screaming at the top of his lungs. In his non-stereotypical real life, wimpy young accountant Neil Horowitz dates Mika, Fasto’s statuesque younger cousin, and loves soul food. Jewcano is also the member of Minoriteam who spends the most time in his civilian garb (or merely has his civilian garb shown on-screen more often than his teammates’ garbs).
Non-Stop (voiced by Keith Lal) – An Indian convenience store owner who is immune to bullets and fire because of his lead-lined skin. His non-stereotypical identity of Dave Raj is an ex-professional skateboarder, a talent that comes in handy when flying on his magic carpet. While not fighting crime, Dave sometimes smokes a hookah. He sometimes says “Krishna, give me strength!” when surprised and his magic word to transform into his bearded, bare-chested, turban-clad alter ego is “Abrakazoom!”.

Minoriteam faces off against The White Shadow Organization consisting of: The White Shadow, The Corporate Ladder, Racist Frankenstein, The Standardized Test, Corporate Loophole, Dirty Cop, The Plant , Shamus McFisticuffs, Steven Skullbird, Middle-manager Tom Severson and Stuck Up Girlfriend.
Like I said, this really couldn’t be made today and has pretty much been memory holed after its 1 season.

Mike Tyson Mysteries (2014)
Take Scooby Doo and cross it with the Mister T cartoon from the 80s, and somehow you get Mike Tyson (voiced by Mike Tyson) solving mysteries with the gay ghost of the Marques of Queensberry, a man who was turned into a pigeon by his ex-wife who was a witch (voiced by Norm McDonald) and Mike Tyson’s adopted Korean daughter that was left on his doorstep as a baby. It is batshit insane and it is glorious. 4 Seasons, so the most successful of the bunch so far.

 

 

Korgath of Barbaria (2006)
This one is a bit different, as only the pilot episode aired. Adult Swim advertised the series had been picked up, but it never came to fruition. This was an homage to the pulp barbarian stories like Conan as well as 70s/80s Post Apocalypse barbarian fare such as Thundarr the Barbarian. It was gloriously violent and sexist. To this day I am very saddened by the fact that this went no farther than a pilot.

 

 

REMINDER: I am throwing a shindig in May. Details are in the forums under meet-ups.

About The Author

CPRM

CPRM

Organic troll farmer.

158 Comments

  1. Brochettaward

    First, don’t First. Either way, the First wins.

  2. R.J.

    Mike Tyson mysteries is the bomb. Thanks for reminding me of Minoriteam!

    • Penguin

      Second

  3. Sensei

    Mike Tyson looks awesome.

    • Count Potato

      I’ve seen it. It think it’s for fans of the fuego.

  4. Shirley Knott

    All thumbs up for Frisky Dingo! There are some fun callbacks to it in Archer. “Master cylinder!”
    A great show that should have gone on longer.

    • rhywun

      aware of a few the more popular shows

      Yeah, that’s me.

      I love Archer but I’ve never heard of any of the other shows mentioned here.

    • Zwak tastes the soup, but never counts the beans.

      Kickin’ Pants!

      Frisky Dingo is so much the shiz, it isn’t even funny. Predicted the entire 2016 election, had a giant ant baby (“your skin is so soft”), operation Meth Nazi.

      And, of course, Mr. Ford.

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g0xlSINUGi8

      • Shirley Knott

        And Simon with the killer bunnies.
        You can’t fax glitter! Well, not with that attitude you can’t.
        Barnaby Jones!
        Blind man crossing the street! See, the cane!
        Ant Agony!
        It’s a treasure trove of awesome.

      • Zwak tastes the soup, but never counts the beans.

        “Once again, the mall is my Waterloo.”

      • Bobarian LMD
      • Brochettaward

        But cancel them if they make fun of the gays.

  5. Raven Nation

    Hmm, Robert Kennedy Jr. has filed to run in the Democrat presidential primary.

    • cavalier973

      He’s tired of living

      • Lackadaisical

        Rip.

    • whiz

      That could be extremely interesting.

    • cavalier973

      Other than opposing the mRNA shot, what are his policies?

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        He opposes war and wants to outlaw riding in convertibles.

      • creech

        Or driving over rickety bridges to see the submarine races.

      • Bobarian LMD

        Or flying to Martha’s Vinyard.

      • Tundra

        I like him.

        He hates pretty much everything I do.

        Not sure why he is running as a dem.

      • Bob Boberson

        He’s a red-pilled Democrat, he is doing what he can for Julian Assange……in this day in age I’ll take allies where I can get them, even if they have some inexplicable idiosyncrasies.

      • Brochettaward

        Unless it’s Trump. Then it’s fuck Trump because he’s imperfect, even if he may be the best you are going to get with an actual crack at the White House in your lifetime?

      • Bob Boberson

        Sure, that’s it

      • Brochettaward

        I’m not looking to put up strawmen of anyone’s opinions here. So feel free to enlighten me as to what your actual views are.

        Trump is not a serious answer to the deep state, but there is no alternative answer to them whatsoever. And as someone who was virulently anti-Trump well before he was into politics, I sure as shit recognize that his election in 2016 was the only major setback the establishment has suffered domestically in my entire god damn lifetime. And some people hold their nose up at him. I suspect some of them, even here, do it because its fashionable.

        They rewrote the entire rulebook because they were terrified of what the guy could have done. I guess you can keep holding out hope for a President Paul one day.

      • Bob Boberson

        I suspect some of them, even here, do it because its fashionable.

        Yup, ya got me.

      • Brochettaward

        Maybe you just like your allies ineffectual and insignificant?

      • Bob Boberson

        Absolutely.

      • Brochettaward

        You have literally said that you don’t factor in silly things like electability in your equations, whatever they may be because apparently they are trade secrets here that can’t be divulged. I have no problem with Kennedy, who obviously isn’t electable at this stage, but does anyone think he would be more favorable to libertarians once in power than Trump?

        Your position makes no sense from where I’m sitting and I’m just legitimately curious what the calculus here is. I typically like your posts, but I do not like cryptic, sarcastic responses to questions that I think are pretty reasonable.

      • Bob Boberson

        Fine, I’ll take the bait:

        I am an anarchist. I don’t believe in voting. I sure as shit don’t believe our salvation lies in a president.

        I appreciate people who move the Overton window and make people challenge their assumptions.

        Kennedy does that because he challenges the left from a leftwing (or what used to be) perspective.

        I hate Trump not for his style, fashionableness, or even his policies (although there is plenty there to criticize) .

        I hate Trump because he was utterly ineffectual. He was the pretense the deep state used to kick things up to 11 and he was completely, utterly unable or unwilling to do anything to do anything to counter it.

        Yeah, he makes my enemies apoplectic. That doesn’t make him my champion.

      • Brochettaward

        Our views really aren’t that different until you get to the last part. I don’t vote, don’t believe in it. I don’t view Trump as being particularly effective at getting shit done that I want or particularly care about (though he got more shit the conservative right wanted done than anyone since Reagan).

        I’d much rather laugh while it all burns and throw a monkey wrench into their plans on occasion. And Trump was that. He was not and is not the man who will save the day and he sure as shit does not represent me, outside representing general assholes everywhere. But it was entertainment gold and he did get them to throw off the cloak completely. And it continues to this day.

        In terms of Kennedy, I just don’t think he really convinces or moves the needle one way or another. I’ll welcome him into the general fold with myself as an outcast as I share his enemies (mostly), but when a leftist goes against the grain these days they aren’t taking anyone with them. They are simply excommunicated and cast out of the light. You aren’t going to see serious discussion of him on CNN. Or anything beyond denunciations from NPC progs on social media platforms.

      • Bob Boberson

        So what are were arguing about then?

        Yeah, Trump was hilarious and sometime brilliant in his trolling. His most redeeming quality was he wasn’t afraid to hit back.

        That being said I am on the whole less free than I was in 2016. As you point out, him getting them to let the mask slip doesn’t seem to have done anything to meaningfully move the needle. I also consider him a coward for the way he hung the Jan 6 people out to dry.

        Where Kennedy is concerned, we can argue all day about how effectual or ineffectual he’ll be. Ultimately it doesn’t matter and your’e probably right, it won’t amount to much. Bottom line, I respect him because he was willing to take an unpopular (with his people) and very firm stance on a whole host of issues in favor or liberty.

      • pistoffnick

        And what, exactly, did he accomplish or tear down (other than pissing off the libs and deep staters)?

        I guess he didn’t start any new wars. So, that’s nice.

      • pistoffnick

        He also denied Her Evilness the presidency, which counts for something.

        Can you imagine…

      • Brochettaward

        When it comes to a conservative (Trump isn’t all that conservative – he’s a 90’s era Democrat who hated Obama so he fell into the GOP camp by mistake) president, you are probably better off measuring them based on what they did not do. You aren’t going to get a list of great accomplishments. His policies benefited the economy. He took the shackles and unleashed the market gods to do their thing for a few years before the Dems killed it all with Covid hysteria.

        Trump was mostly a symbol, though. He did more to move the overton window than any conservative in my lifetime. He got my father, a man who never voted in his life (not out of principle on his part) to get off his ass and vote. He made anti-wokeness from an ignored internet movement into the mainstream platform of the right. He turned the bulk of the Republican party away from foreign entanglements after Bush the Lesser and his merry band of neocon cunts sold them the war on terror.

        He couldn’t get Obamacare repealed. He did, with a bit of luck, stack the Supreme Court and accomplish what the rest of his party only paid lipservice to for decades at the national level getting Roe repealed. Whether that’s a great accomplishment really depends on you. Abortion is not the biggest issue to me and I am under delusion that while the court is now slightly more favorable to my viewpoints, it’s still a far ways away.

        Basically, Trump is about as good as I think I’m ever going to get from the Republican party. They aren’t lining up to elect Rand Paul. He was the right guy for the moment in 2016 at the least. His willingness to say things that almost no other politician would was a flicker of light in the battle against the woke and helped steer the right into a direct confrontation with what is the most anti-liberty cultural/political movement this country has seen since the the Great Depression.

        But yes, Trump is mostly a symbol. A big fuck you to the establishment from what I’d say is the silent majority of the country that is not pleased at how they are being governed by their elites. He’s also probably just about as good as it’s going to get. So yes, I’m going to count that guy as an ally, warts and all.

        At this stage, it’s far more important to me who someone’s enemies are than who they count as friends. Or whether they consider me a friend.

      • robc

        Kennedy didnt destroy the USFL.

      • Zwak tastes the soup, but never counts the beans.

        So, a point in Trumps favor?

      • Zwak tastes the soup, but never counts the beans.

        Hates guns?

  6. Count Potato

    “Minoriteam”

    Never heard of it, but now I want to watch it!!!

      • Count Potato

        Thanks 🙂

        Fuck this guy:

        ” Reviewer: macfarlanecanread – favoritefavoritefavoritefavoritefavorite – September 19, 2022
        Subject: Amazing archive project!
        It sucks that racists are the ones most drawn to the show, Minoriteam isn’t about pandering to hicks :p

        Adult swim can hide this show but it makes this even more compelling to watch. not many tv shows are approved for so many episodes without a pilot, and I think there’s actually a lot of neat things about this one.

        Anyways Communism forever fellas, your great great grandkids will be communists <:)"

      • R.J.

        Yeah, you can’t escape assholes in the comments. Except here.

      • Lackadaisical

        *looks around*

        Let’s not be too hasty there.

    • Bobarian LMD

      What I remember from the few I saw at 3 AM on Monday Morning was that they were pretty faithfully drawn cartoons in the style of Jack Kirby.

    • R.J.

      I am already married. Otherwise I would be heading to that bar.

  7. Chafed

    Great write up CPRM. I need to check these shows out.

    Happy Passover heathens!

    • Count Potato

      You too 🙂

    • rhywun

      AKA “4 day weekend” w00t!

  8. Tonio

    Just a reminder that there is a Glibs HumpDay Zoom Operators are standing by. Zoom before midnight tonight and you’ll also receive…

    • Count Potato

      Weed?

      Butt Secks?

      A signed copy of Tom Woods bathtime gurgles?

  9. Fourscore

    Thanks CPRM. Too good to pass up.

    Strangely enough, I was unaware of any of these gems.

    • creech

      +1 William Devane

    • Gender Traitor

      For my money, you can’t beat The Oblongs.

      • rhywun

        👍 It’s up there

      • Shirley Knott

        Oh, yes indeed!

  10. Sean

    Night Court reruns are awesome.

    Also, Markie Post was hot AF.

    • Tundra

      Yes.

      On both.

      • Tundra

        Just turned on episode 1. Awesome.

    • Bobarian LMD

      Rumor was that her and the actual anti-christ had a lesbian affair.

      • rhywun

        🤢🤮

      • Brochettaward

        It’s so strange and specific that it seems plausible.

      • The Hyperbole

        The amount of time/thought you people put into Hillary Clintons sex life is rather concerning.

    • Chafed

      Was she ever! Young Chafed was in lust with her.

  11. Bobarian LMD

    How about Perfect Hair Forever?

    A surreal send-up of anime tropes and general weirdness.

    • Zwak tastes the soup, but never counts the beans.

      Heh. I remember that one. Weird ASF.

  12. pistoffnick

    Guess who smells like diesel but has a working furnace?

    • Tres Cool

      Greg Evigan in winter?

      • Sir Digby Classic

        Greg? He wishes… Naw; he smelled of Hai Karate and chimp feces.

        Now, Claude Aikins–I betcha HE rocked some diesel fumes (even if he portrayed a rather large simian, himself).

      • Tres Cool

        + Movin’ On

        I was young at that time, but there really seemed to be a national fascination with over-the-road trucking.

      • Sir Digby Classic

        Young, here, too–I remember watching B.J. and the Bear pretty much every week. Another fine ’70s Glen Larson product!

        I mean, there’s really no good reason for a 9 year old to know who Clause Aikins was (and, I did say “good” reason), other than watching the show. But, you are correct about the Big Rig/CB life craze back then. And, if there actually were any current-day actors who could do the rolls justice, I’d love to see some revamped Bandit movies. And, Cannonball Run, too.

        ::shrugs:: I’m crazy like that, I guess.

        /Good times, Tres!

    • Zwak tastes the soup, but never counts the beans.

      The bartender at The Iron Princess?

    • Chafed

      Hilary Clinton?

  13. Gustave Lytton

    I could have seen Steel Panther* but I decided to hang out with you reprobates.

    *no idea if tickets are still available. Line was around the block. Thought they were bums set up for the night at first.

    • Chafed

      That was crazy. I’ve never even heard of it.

  14. Sir Digby Classic

    Never really vibed with Frisky Dingo. Not sure why, because I always dug Archer.

    Now, Minoriteam was my jam, just after ATHF*, of course. Although I have to say, I’m somewhat surprised that Squidbillies isn’t listed. But, you can’t have everything, I suppose.

    Oh, and, check yer email, boy! Important stuff, there.

    *their newest movie–rated NC-17 on Amazon Prime, for some unknown reason–was so bland that Wonder Bread is interesting compared to it

    • CPRM

      I laughed a few times at the new movie, but mostly it was tryin too hard to be topical, which ATHF never was. It was always just batshit insane.

    • Chafed

      You’re back? You couldn’t quit us?

      • Sir Digby Classic

        I wouldn’t say that I’m back, so much as I wanted to take part in this post. Of course, I keep getting a 500 error message, no mater how/where I try to post through, so this is a crap shoot right now…

      • Chafed

        I’ll take what I can get.

      • CPRM

        Makes me feel kind of proud you made this appointment viewing. *Wipes Tear From Eye* *Puts Hand $%&#@#%*&^#%#@#$^*

  15. Brochettaward

    Space Ghost Coast To Coast is the grandfather of Adult Swim and the seeds of all these adult cartoons on Comedy Central were in its giant nutsack.

    • CPRM
    • Brochettaward

      It’s just you and me, Chafed. You and me.

      I need you to try and First.

      • B.P.

        There’s always someone else.

      • Brochettaward

        I’m going to need you to try and First. Slowly.

      • CPRM

        There is no try, only do.

      • Chafed

        I can’t first tonight but I can be the first to post Steel Panther pics on Saturday.

    • Tres Cool

      “It was more than 45 minutes before they took off the handcuffs, realized their mistake and apologized.”

      “Sorry brah- my bad. We cool tho’ right?”

      • Chafed

        I’m sure that happened. I’m also sure the pilot has contacted a lawyer.

      • Sensei

        +1 immunity. Sucks to be the hotel however.

        Also I have no idea how work comp considers a pilot’s rest when not at home.

        I’d like to know the angle to avoid it and get to the airlines GL policy. Problem is that payout will take close to a decade.

    • CPRM

      the bewildered guest was interrogated and placed in the shower

      Kinky or Waterboardy?

    • Sensei

      This guy is Buttle not Tuttle!

  16. CPRM

    I just bought 2 picnic tables. Why the fuck did I buy 2 picnic tables? No one ever comes to visit me. Worst drunk shopper ever.

  17. Sir Digby Classic

    Test! Man, do I hate the # 500right now….

    • Chafed

      Roger, Houston. We read you loud and clear.

      • Sir Digby Classic

        I have no idea what’s going on–I’ve even signed up for another account, since this is one, and may be causing some issues. (I dunno, I’m not some googlebox magician!)

        Just to give my crying friend upthread some well-earned respect!

      • Sir Digby Classic

        It seems Monocle may have saved the day!

        OK, I’ll stop replying to myself.

      • dbleagle

        Good to see you again Sir Digby. Don’t take the quiet in the wrong way. Mittwoch nights are slow around these parts. Many were in the zoom room earlier.

      • CPRM

        You were in the zoom!? Damn! Sorry I missed that. Although, I don’t get home until 10:30 central, and most folks are gone by then most nights.

      • Sir Digby Classic

        Oh, no–not the quiet, but an Internal Server error on my, what…3rd, 4th posting. Could not post, no matter what.
        But, thank you anyway! IIRC, you do some sailing, and (if so), I hope you’re still enjoying it.

        If I’m incorrect, I’ll throw a beatin’ on myself later.

      • CPRM

        The site was down for a while noon-time. So it might not just be you, though I’m not getting any errors. Inappropriate Music.

      • Sir Digby Classic

        Well, I posted with no issues with Tres, upthread, then, WHAM! –My ability to post got all Andrew Ridgeley’d! Multiple browser tries, mobile posting, clearing out junk files ‘n’ such…nada.

        /Yeah, you thought I was gonna throw down a George Michael, but then I go and pivot to the Ridge.

      • CPRM

        This is my bedtime. Thanks for showing your support. *takes out rusty pocket knife and cuts both our hands and presses our palms together* Now we are blood brothers. Hope we can meet in meatspace at some point.

      • Brochettaward

        Firsters touch penises in a non-sexual manner and bond for life in a far more serious ritual.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        Never thought you’’d be the person here into docking Bro.

      • Lackadaisical

        I dunno, sounds about right to me.

      • Lackadaisical

        I had the same problems yesterday.

        Sad that the site isn’t always working.

  18. Brochettaward

    Cam Newton listed the 12 QB’s who he would be willing to play second fiddle to. There was a noticeable lack of non-melanated football throwers on the list. He noted the black QB’s coming out in this years draft, though no white guys. And included Malik Willis…who isn’t even a starter.

    • Lackadaisical

      Completely normal, yup.

      It’s not racism when they do it. Also, didn’t know Newton was still in the game.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        He’s just trying to dodge the black white supremacist label but maybe it’s a valid reflection on the state of the game. I wouldn’t know to be honest.

      • Lackadaisical

        There are several really good white QBs… I mean, mahomes alone is amazing.

    • Rat on a train

      When is national breakfast taco day? Asking for a doctor.

    • robodruid

      Good Morning to you as well.

    • Gender Traitor

      Good morning, Sean, Roat, ‘bodru, Lack, Stinky, and Ssccrruuffyy!

      Had (beanless) chicken burritos last night to beat the rush.

      • Gender Traitor

        and…problematic.

  19. Rat on a train

    counter-insurrection training?

    Early risers and joggers in D.C. could see a military aircraft land at the National Mall Thursday morning.

    It’s part of a routine specialty aircraft training by the Joint Task Force-National Capital Region taking place from 5 to 7 a.m.

    Military aircraft will do a “touch and go” landing designed to familiarize crew with restricted airspace procedures, a news release from the department said.

    • Lackadaisical

      Finally getting ready to bomb the proles instead of random countries 6000 miles away.

      Libertarians are gonna bring the troops back home, but not in a good way lol.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        Probably more of a practice evac mission, the fairly mild quasi riot still has these fragile idiots stirred up. Our political class consists of Faberge eggs.

    • Scruffyy Nerfherder

      GET TO DA CHOPPA

  20. Shirley Knott

    Mornin’ all.
    Doomageddon was forecast for yesterday, but was basically two thunderstorm squalls racing through. It did hit 70, low pressure & high humidity. The local forecasters need to switch their entrails provider, or get better readers.
    35 this morning, of course, with a high forecast to be 48.
    Off to another fun day of looking for love in all the wrong places ;-\

    • Gender Traitor

      Good morning, Shirley! Similar weather here in SW OH yesterday, but only down to 45 down here in the “tropics.”

      Short day at work, then off to get my hair re-redded. 👩‍🦰

      • Shirley Knott

        I contemplated that when the white started to outnumber the red, but the total area to be colored kept shrinking. Even including the beard & mustache ;-\ Now I just shave what’s left on the sides and show off the white beard and ‘stache. MPB sucks when it starts before you turn 20, but eventually one concedes defeat. Or dehair? lol

    • Rat on a train

      Tune in to STORMWATCH for our continuous coverage of Storm Andre.

      • Grosspatzer

        I’m hoping Daniel will be the fourth named tropical system this year.

  21. Grosspatzer

    Mornin’, reprobates! Taking Mrs. Patzer to doc this afternoon – hoping she will be cleared to drive * dons helmet *

    • Gender Traitor

      Good morning, ‘patzie! Good luck with her (and to no small extent your) bid for transportation freedom! 🤞🏼

    • Sensei

      Good luck.

      • Grosspatzer

        Thanks, all. I’m planning to audition for a role in an updated version of “Driving Miss Daisy” after a couple of sessions in a tanning salon.

  22. hayeksplosives

    Good stuff, CPRM.

    Tyson mysterious are perfect: 15 minutes each, no story arc.

    Just fun!!?

  23. Sean

    I saw two retards using their vehicles as weapons this morning on my commute.

    I was sure as shit there was gonna be an accident. That Honda Fit driver was a supreme asshole, then he encountered a much bigger nutjob in a pickem up truck.

    • Shirley Knott

      One of life’s important little lessons that too few learn — there’s *always a bigger nutjob.
      I think they may be the larval stage of politicos.

    • Grosspatzer

      Honda Fit vs. pickup truck? Not a fair fight.

    • Rat on a train

      I saw a suicidal cyclist last night: night, no light, no reflectors, dark clothes, two-lane no-shoulder road, …

  24. Grosspatzer

    We are so forked.

    https://nypost.com/2023/04/06/banned-soon-in-new-jersey-plastic-utensils-for-takeout-customers-could-be-on-the-way-out/

    “The bill “prohibits food service businesses from providing single-use plastic utensils and condiments to customers, except upon request, and requires certain food service businesses to provide reusable, washable utensilsto customers eating on site,” a synopsis of the bill says on the New Jersey State legislature’s website.”

    I’m going long on Big Fork.

    • Sean

      Plastic isn’t washable and reusable?

      • UnCivilServant

        You will have a lower standard of living.

    • Rat on a train

      except upon request
      Would you like fries utensils with your order?

      • Gender Traitor

        Pro tip: don’t forget to specifically order napkins in the Arby’s drive-thru.

    • rhywun

      The sponsor looks like he knows his way around a “food service”.

  25. Grosspatzer

    Your tax dollars at work, New York.

    https://nypost.com/2023/04/05/buffalo-bills-seal-tentative-1-54-billion-new-stadium-deal/

    “Hochul may have an added personal stake in the project. The Post reported last year that her husband Bill, senior vice president and general counsel at Highmark Stadium concessionaire Delaware North, can be expected to make big money if the firm is able to keep football fans fed and boozed up for another three decades.”

    Move along, nothing to see here.

  26. Ownbestenemy

    At the FAA Academy they have gone full disposable single use packets, utensils etc in name of COVID but still put hot sauce in bottles on the tables. I love inconsistencies

    • Sean

      I love inconsistencies


      Science!

  27. Necron 99

    Pidgeon was Norm McDonald’s gift to humanity. \wipes tear from eye