Sticking with my general theory that foreign movie posters are classier.
Welcome to the last week of Women’s History Month. I thought I would bring us up to the 21st century by showing a film about… Guys. Because men now compete in women’s sports, including weight lifting. So tonight, not one but TWO guys with giant thighs that no woman could beat weight lifting. Yes, tonight we have the stunning Paul brothers, Peter and David Paul. I thought they did great in the film. They were weightlifters who also had great comedic timing, so Golan / Globus took a chance on them and put them in The Barbarians to give them their own starring vehicle. Previously the two had played “the Barbarian Brothers” in four films together including DC Cab.
Fun trivia:
- Peter and David Paul were the barbarians in the INXS “Devil Inside” video.
- Both of them had a part in Natural Born Killers (as the Hun Brothers), but his scenes were deleted.
- I have a picture of them I really wanted to use for this article – but it is a Getty image. So I will link to it.
- From what I can tell, the Paul brothers starred in at least seven films together. At one point Peter Paul directed his brother and did cinematography.
It must have been a delight to know the Paul brothers. This film looks like it was a party from beginning to end. It was a perfect call to not take itself so seriously – there were far too many sword and sorcery films trying to be serious and flopping horribly at the box office by 1987. Sadly, critics were absolutely cruel to this film at the time. Funny sword and sorcery movies were just not done! F*ck movie critics. The Paul brothers never got as big as Schwarzenegger, nor were they remembered like Rowdy Roddy. This is too bad. The Paul brothers had more charisma in their little fingers than most actors today have in their whole emaciated bodies.
So watch! Or don’t! Everything is voluntary until giant muscle builders pin you to the ground. Next week, we start a series of newer films with the return of a favorite: Another WolfCop! Will it live up to the legacy of Wolfcop?
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(h/t: The Hyperbole)
“Donald Trump indicted in Stormy Daniels hush money probe by Manhattan grand jury ”
https://nypost.com/2023/03/30/manhattan-grand-jury-votes-to-indict-trump-sources/
As a famous lawyer said, you can indict a ham sandwich.
Particularly if the ham sandwich broke the law. Sure laws that shouldn’t be laws, but live by the system die by the system.
I can’t wait for a famous lawyer to address this in his next podcast.
I know grand juries are assembled for misdemeanor charges all the time in NYC, and prosecutors often prosecute crimes well past their statute of limitations.
It was such an obvious crime, that it only took 7 years for someone to figure out how to prosecute it.
Firster’s are anti-emoji, but you can insert a clown emoji here for Hyperbole if you’d like for the TLDNR types.
I remain to be convinced any laws were actually broken.
Look, Trump did something illegal at some point in time. Everybody does. So, he’s bad. And he needs to be punished for…because! So might as well be this!
Beria nods enthusiastically, from hell.
That appears to be Bragg’s theory.
Jonathan Turley, among others, has pointed out how slim a reed this case hangs on. It wouldn’t surprise me if it goes away on a defense motion.
AFTER of course they get their mig shot and fingerprints
Of course. Otherwise, Maddow won’t be able to get off.
ORANGEMAN BAD!!!!!!!!11
We can only hope that he gets a life sentence for this one. To protect democracy and the rule of law.
They’ve got him this time!
The walls are closing in.
I checked Wiki to see if they’re described him as a criminal in the summary. No, but good lord is that thing full of lies and half truths.
Why are your takes so consistently retarded? Can’t the devil afford to hire better advocates?
Totally stealing this.
Ha! I remember this one. Must have been in heavy rotation on HBO or Cinemax back in the day.
Yes, right after Beast Master.
I don’t remember this one. 87? That’s probably why – I was completely fucking swamped in schoolwork.
But this looks like fun! Will check out soon.
You’ll love it. I will revisit barbarian films again later, after I show some new content that’s potentially on a timeline.
I’ve never seen Beast Master. Apparently, there was a movie and an HBO series?
You don’t have a pouch ferret then I assume. How droll.
I have no idea what that even means?
It’s pretty self explanatory.
I hope the ghost of that ferret comes back and chews his balls off.
How droller.
Ferrets are beasts.
Yes! Hilarious that it was a series on HBO (Hey, Beast Master’s On!)
Audrey Hepburn, Beastmaster
I actually have a Thursday off! And I burned my finger cooking dinner. I know of this movie but never watched it, time to fix that I guess.
No mention of Twin Sitters?
LOL “Even their car is on steroids.”
I can’t imagine why this didn’t become a smash hit.
They did so many wacky films like that. That is top of the game in Blockbuster dust gatherers.
The Hulkster did it better not just once, but twice with Mr. Nanny and Suburban Commando.
He did. Suburban Commando was actually rented at the time. It did not gather dust at Block Buster.
I can’t stand him and while the Barbarians still haven’t made an appearance in tonight’s film – Jesus, exposition much? – I can’t believe they’d be any less entertaining.
We’ll talk in 30 minutes.
*presses play*
It’s also at archive.org if you don’t do tubi.
RJ, sorry-not-sorry for going off-topic:
Joe Manchin writes a good op-ed about the Biden admin perverting the Inflation “Reduction” Act to achieve it’s own means. He bemoans our immense deficit and calls for fiscal responsibility. He feels betrayed for being the deciding vote that allowed it to pass.
*Narrator: Joe Manchin is up for re-election this year
Silly Joes.
Well, he’s the only person in DC who didn’t see it coming, then.
Heh, right?
And the good people of West Virginia will reward him with another six years in Washington.
Having resided there for 5 years I can say, West Virginians vote for whoever brings home the bacon. Robert Byrd is still spoken of with admiration because of all the good (ie how much pork he got) he did for West Virginia. It’s a true welfare state.
+ interstate to nowhere (US-48)
He might. He may also be vulnerable for the first time in his career.
I looked it up, and his margin of victory was less than the Libertarian candidate got (~24k). So, it would appear that he isn’t a shoe-in.
*five years ago
A smart candidate will use this and other recent things against him and should be able to beat him. But, Republican…smart…yeah…
Sure, if he feels he was really “betrayed” then why hasn’t he switched parties? Maybe the answer lies in the fact the GOP screwed up the last couple senatorial elections in Georgia.
Joe is moving to Savanah? WTF does GA state politics have anything to do with WV? Maybe Manchin should switch parties because the Democratic Party in WY is a basket case.
“The best thing about Heroquest is the Barbarian. Look at the muscularity! ‘You are the barbarian; the greatest warrior of all!’ And they’re not kidding! He throws three combat dice on attack by default—not even the gargoyle can stand up to that! And that’s without even needing to get the bro-sode! The barbarian! Best character in the game by a long-shot and you should all go play as him, immediately!”
And an oldy but a goody.
Ask any Frister, any true Firster what is best in life, and he will tell you…
“To First before your enemies and see them post beneath you, and to hear the lamentation of their women.”
“When a Cimmerian feels a first, it is a first for blood. When he feels cold, it is the cold edge of steel.”
“No matter what Bro says or does, my task is to be First.”
-MikeS Aurelius
Firsting and stoicism are completely antithetical to one another. You make a mockery…of yourself.
Oh, you poor, innocent water-head. I have so much to teach you of the ways of Fristing.
Alas, I’m busy.
You are taking the simplest, most coherent philosophy and way of being known to man and muddying the waters somehow for those who don’t know better. It is loathsome. Demonic.
Ha Ha! After complaining about my travails with the Health monopoly on last night’s Zoom what do you imagine I did right after signing off? Fell down and got stuck, that’s what. Somehow got wedged between the arm of the sofa and the wall on my back in a failed limbo pose. I couldn’t feel my legs but knew that my slippers were up at hip-height because they were visible. ‘Member when you had to dissect the frog in Biology? ‘Member having to stretch its poor legs out so that you could pin them to the wax? Well that was me last night. I had to lie like that for for nearly two hours until Judi got home from work. Unhappy knees are unhappy today. She works in a secure facility and is incommunicado during work hours. Now she wants to buy me a Life Alert. Serves me right for firsting on CPRM’s post!
The dog and cat really dig it when I’m at their level, though. So many kisses, so much face-farting.
Let’s not get crazy and blame the Firsting now.
That sounds awful. I’m sorry that happened to you.
You seem to have a good attitude about the ordeal.
Fuck your pride man, whatever helps you live a better life is worth it.
Please keep your legs. Also hopefully you didn’t have to pee when trapped.
That sucks, man. Maybe a FirstAlert wouldn’t be a bad idea? Damn I wish those flappy-headed doctors up there could fix your legs.
Living alone, I’m seriously considering getting a LifeAlert soon.
I’m trying to figure out how to broach the subject with my dad. He’s relatively healthy, but 78. And an hour away from me and my brother.
I’m only 53 but I’m a loner and who the hell knows what could happen. If I stroke out or something, I’m fucked.
When I went to the ER a couple years ago I was fortunate enough to be able to make the call, walk to the door and let them in, etc. but that’s not always going to be the case.
Also, sorry Festus!
Yeah, really anyone who lives alone should at least consider it. Young healthy people can fall in the tub, too.
Firsters have catlike reflexes. No Firster needs such a thing.
Festus, tell these goombas what’s what.
When I (my little brother did most of the work) remodeled my bathroom I got rid of the tub and put in a walk in shower. Who the fuck takes a bath anymore besides babies and hot lesbian step-sisters?
My wife has been angling for doing just that. I say it’ll hurt our resale value. She says, who takes a bath anymore? I don’t have a good retort.
I want to move this year and high up on the list is a walk-in shower. I *hate* bathtubs.
Once again, Mikes (s – does it stand for seconder – inquiring minds want to know) shows his ignorance of Firsting. Firsters take ritual baths every before and after every First.
Bro, only want-to-be Firsters like you have the time for such nonsense. I First so often I would be a total prune if I bathed before and after every First. I mean, I’d probably drain the local aquifer within a year. Your ignorance would be cute if it weren’t so ignorant.
Do you plan to sell the house? After you put all that money into your work (shed) space?
No. Not until I die or retire.
Quit taking her side!!!!!
My wife does. And so do I sometimes. Baths are luxuries. Stupid hotels are replacing those with locker room aesthetics.
I too enjoy a long, hot bath. It’s been too long since I’ve had one. Maybe this weekend.
Oh, Festus, I’m so sorry.
The bald guy with the googly eyes seems familiar from a bunch of movies.
The Hills Have Eyes and Weird Science to name a couple.
Never seen either.
Looked him up; yeah he’s been in a ton of genre stuff.
Michael Berryman
Yup. X-Files, multiple Treks.
I’m picturing him in some flick where he plays a scary bad guy, and then towards the end he turns out to be a not so bad, well spoken guy. Cant think of it.
I believe you’re thinking of Weird Science.
Yup. That’s it
The guy shooting the gun is in Road Warrior and a host of other actioners.
Is that the bad guy? I did think Road Warrior for one of these goons or another.
He plays the guy with the big red mohawk. Not The Humungus.
Yep.
“Having an orgy in front of your mom is TIGHT!” – Producer guy
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y8x6oyusAIE
Viagra Dolphin.
ALOL
You know Full Moon will make that a reality. We will be watching it by Christmas.
And the first equel by the following Memorial Day
We’ll move on the Fentanyl Shark.
Producer Guy – “Isn’t that kind of weird?” Writer Guy – “Hardly a problem, barely an inconvenience!” Producer Guy – “Well alright then!”
The bad guy in this movie is also the bad guy in The Sword and the Sorcerer which is one of the funnier movies in the Rifftrax library IMO.
He looks familiar too. I bet he’s been on some Trek.
THICC Thursday.
https://archive.ph/26wl6/5d7a2eca60d14698835ecde94e9055258f0c0e04.jpg
NSFW.
https://archive.ph/HlC2y/655d80bf3f126dc0550b139b1525ef7ebea47547.jpg
NSFW.
https://archive.ph/R4r6s/cb21d402c7683f67f4f68836dd42ea75c910a17e.jpg
NSFW.
https://archive.ph/gN7p8/f58b07309c270cfe6f9e19127f2a3b2ca52ff4c5.jpg
NSFW.
It’s a shame Tres isn’t here to enjoy these.
Verdict: this movie is terrible but the dudebros seems to be having fun with it.
Success! On to WolfCop 2, then I Sell the Dead.
All over WolfCop 2, if it’s anywhere near as good as the first one.
Movies, even shitty B movies, looked so much better when they were shot on film and at real locations and sets. Using real lenses to add real depth to shots, almost a lost art these days.
Modern bad movies are rarely fun, especially when they are reliant on godawful CGI. There was an element of craft even to the shitty b-movies of the 80’s. The people making them may have been relatively clueless, but they had to be creative to even try to make their laughable ideas a reality. Now editing software and high-def cameras are available to any bozo and they use clip art effects. It’s not the same.
Laughable ideas on a tight budget, even.
Robert Rodriguez shot El Mariachi for $7,000.
That’s damned impressive.
With inflation, that’s about $3MM in 2023 dollars.
Absolutely. Most of the modern B films are just unwatchable digitally recorded train wrecks with soulless, flat direction.
As usual, you said it so much better than Bro’.
Even the tentpole films. It’s really sad. Marvel puts Sam Raimi in charge of Doctor Strange 2 and the only Sam Raimi things about the movie are Bruce Campbell and the car.
The guy who wrote DS2 wrote one of the worst spec scripts I’ve ever read and somehow finagled that into being an in-demand Marvel writer/showrunner. It’s not just that these people have no talent/skill – they’re actively rewarded.
Victoria Alonso is wondering why she got dumped.
Yeah, you showed one last week.
😉
Indeed
Nice – watched that again last week and that part is so cool.
OMG R.J.! I remember reading about these guys years ago. I had no idea this movie existed. Thanks for sharing it.
Why doesn’t Tubi list the Paul brothers as the stars?
Ryan Coogler, director of Black Panther, is working on an X-Files reboot…FOR MODERN AUDIENCES! Read – it will have black people now!
I guess the 1990s just passed these people by.
I just read some clickbait article about how the producers and cast of Friends are ashamed that they made a show with all white, all straight characters.
They wipe their tears of shame away and blow their noses with hundred dollar bills.
Yeah, that would never fly today.
No trannie?!?
Wait, Phoebe was cis?
I got a 5% raise today. I think I’ll pour another beverage.
I got 4.8% a couple months ago. I think I’ll join you.
Boss gave me all “exceeded expectations” to make it happen. I’m still underpaid but it’s my choice and there are reasons.
You owe a life debt and are repaying it by watching over a youngster who works in Accounts Payable?
4.6 should show up in a week or two
+ a nice bonus and a small bonus on top of the bonus.
*hic*
I got a meh bonus.
I think we may be on different pages. I’m drinking because I’m (still) pissed at only getting 4.8
lol we average around 2.
I think I got 4 last year which was more that usual.
Yikes. Well, congrats on the 5%. That pretty sweet.
What were you expecting?
MikeS was expecting to firsted real hard by his boss, haven’t you been paying attention?
6-7+. I didn’t think it too much to ask to get a COLA raise that at least came close to matching inflation. And since I thought -and was told- that I made some great strides in working into my new position, It thought maybe a bit on top of the COLA would be in order. When I brought it up to my new supervisor (my fifth of 2022) he was at first confused at what I meant by a “performance raise” as he’d never got one. “That’s something hourly workers get; salary employees are rewarded with year-end bonuses”, he said. Except my 2023 bonus was the same as my 2022 bonus, and in 2022 I was only salary for the last two months.
*subtract 1 from those years
I guess I’ve succumbed to 🎶 Lowered Expectations 🎶
+1 Dating Service I’d subscribe to
I’m new to salary. Maybe my expectations are too high*.
*I’ve talked to three other salaried coworkers who got 6-7%
+2 dating service I’d subscribe to
That makes sense.
I got a decent bonus and a 0% raise. I am complaining about having not even a COLA involved.
I remember ten or twenty percent raises every couple years early in my “career” – those days are long over.
6% more and your’e keeping up with inflation!!
/by modern calculations
So my employees remind me.
*sigh*
I got a raise with my promotion at the begining of the year and the whole department got a raise because they can’t find enough candidates and they will do a COLA in July. There are some benefits to working for a 🪶Government🪶.
Boss is strongly pushing me towards management.
I want to see the dollas first.
Because I really don’t want to be management. But there’s no other path for me.
Thing is, I’m perfectly happy in my current position of senior tech person. I could float on that for the rest of my career but I also kind of need the dollars.
I got promoted to shift supervisor (manager) because I’m the only one left on my shift. So right now I have no underlings. Supposed to get one in mid April, but then again a different shift was supposed to get another employee at the beginning of March and apparently she just decided she didn’t want to come in.
Yeah, I poke around Outlook and we have some AVP’s and shit who have no underlings.
I would have underlings. And that’s what I don’t want.
OTOH, my boss is the most hands-off boss in history. I guess I could emulate that approach if the pay is good enough. He wants me to take some of his underlings off his hands.
I should add that it’s not the role that bothers me so much as the tedious paperwork that comes with it. Approving timesheets. Reviews. UGH.
I don’t like telling people what to do, that might make me a shit manager or a great manager. I have no idea. I’ve been in the new role for 3 months and still don’t have any underlings.
I don’t either but I’ve been doing it for a couple years, if only consultants (i.e. our offshore friends).
Might as well make it formal and add a couple of Ohioans and Indianaians.
Heh, when I interviewed my mechanic, I told him: “I don’t want to be your boss. I have never wanted to be anyone’s boss. You have been your own boss for 15 years. You can see what needs to be done – just get it done.”
So far so good, but he is almost ready to retire.
“Indianaians” made me read slow, and then chuckle.
Sorry rhywun. I feel your pain. I’m pretty much topped out other than a backwards promotion to that. I just want to do my job and not worry about other people’s drama.
/did not have a successful week.
Saw the Dungeons & Dragons movie tonight. Actually, quite fun and at times clever. Plays a bit like a medieval Guardians of the Galaxy.
Has to be better than the last attempt Not a high bar.
Yes. Much better.Still flawed, but better.
I would have firsted this post but I was busy milking my platypusses/platypi.
/yes, Rufus, some of us work even after we work.
🤕
/preach
Fucking impressive.
/duck billed rabbit hole
Well, I now know things about the platypus I didn’t previously.
Yes, Nick. Fucking impressive.
Finally, the real firster reveals himself.
Wtf?
https://www.census.gov/newsroom/press-releases/2022/pes-2020-undercount-overcount-by-state.html
“Hey everyone, our actual enumeration is wrong based on sample surveying and statistical analysis!”
+1 You had ONE job!
It’s nights like this that I just dream of when I will hold my little First in my arms, hug it tightly to my bosom, and then unleash it upon you all with tears of joy and pride.
Your waifirsu?
Dude, where’s my car?
😋☕🍩
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=9ipCKIxdHTs
🎶🎶
I want to go on that ride.
AND STOP LOGGING ME OUT, YOU COMMIES!!!
😡😡
*disconnect user*
Happy national crayon day.
Stop clearing your porn cookies and it won’t happen. That stuff’ll make you go blind anyway.
“More Biden Madness: Asking Black Americans On Census if They Are Slave Descendants”
https://www.zerohedge.com/markets/more-biden-madness-asking-black-americans-census-if-they-are-slave-descendants
Gonna buy them votes, yessiree, with reparations money from you and me.
Good morning, Stinky, Sean, U, and Roat! It’s Friday, payday (without insurance deductions,) and my boss is off, so a Virtual Vacation Day! 😃
Morning.
Listening to a history course on the middle ages during the commute. Talking about the Papal Schism and the plague of antipopes. I’m surprised no one elected a cat under the pontifical name of Pope Purry IX
We’re long overdue for another good antiPope. I nominate Mel Gibson.
What? The current Antipope Frank isn’t good enough?
His conservative pre Vatican II Catholicism is anathema to wokePope’s watered down dogma so I think antiPope is apropos. Get him drinking again and it’d be quite a show.
All of my knowledge of the Catholic church comes from studies of preindustrial history, so I’m not up to date on the nuances of doctrine and dogma.
TL;DR: You’re going to hell.
Warning: Shitty sound quality and his attempt to imitate the “history of the entire world, I guess” guy is annoying.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AUFvA9Dr0bA
I have one of those on the Renaissance, but my preferred time to listen is while exercising on one of the machines at the Y. I haven’t been doing that lately, as I go to the water aerobics class instead. Maybe I’ll take some workout clothes with me today and see about leaving work early to go do that.
I’m surprised no one caught a whiff of my bad pun.
It can take more than 10 minutes for the aroma to spread.
::looks again, finally gets it:: 🙄 Still too much blood in my caffeine stream.
😸💐🌸🏵🌹🌺🌻🌼🌷🥀
You’re just lucky Swissy isn’t here to narrow his gaze and say, “I’m Avignon of that!!”
(You want bad puns? I’ll give you bad puns! 😁)
The left screams Article IV regarding DeSantis saying he won’t extradite Trump but cheers states declaring abortion and trans sanctuaries that won’t extradite.
The only appropriate response to the left is “fuck off.” Trying to reason with them or pointing out their hypocrisy is a colossal waste of time and effort.
Mornin’, reprobates!
So OMB was finally indicted. HR is on the case, They are anticipating protests and demonstrations and hope they are peaceful, but will be monitoring the situation. Not to worry, folks, it won’t be Antifa and BLM doing the protesting.
Good morning, ‘patzie! Thank goodness you’re WFH and thus nowhere near the peril!
They’ll be seeded with feds who’ll entice the more hotheaded into years of pretrial detention before being convicted by politicized shitheel prosecutors. Best to stay clear no matter how bad it gets.
The game is to play “spot the fed” and shank them before they can rile up anyone.
“Greetings, fellow Ultra MAGA participants!”
*pushes Ray-Bans up bridge of nose*
So you’ll be hopping on the R train to join the festivities?
Nah, he was going to drive his Killdozer into the courthouse.
The worst part about it is the flood of articles, videos, and whatnot that will drown out actually interesting content.
Instead of something worth reading, all I’ll see for at least a fortnight is clickbaity ‘think’pieces and propaganda.
How is that different? That’s all there has been for years on MSM.
I don’t engage with those sources, so Their derangement doesn’t normally reach me.
suh’ fam
yo whats goody