“The eers, they look all funny,” Gisele whined. “He had the biggie ears. And his heed is all pointy now.”
“I had to rearrange the skull to fit into it,” Lumperman said, his voice booming in the backstage area of the Oval Office set.
“Ow, my eers!” she said, clamping her hands over them.
“I’ve made other modifications,” Lumperman said. He undid his pants and let his penis flop out. It resembled nothing so much as a warthog.
“Joo are not putting that in me vagina,” she said. “Put it away, put it away, is looking at me!”
“I am fully seeded,” Lumperman said, his voice slightly lower. “I can give you many Lumps in your womb.”
“I doan want Lumps in my boom,” she said.
“Oh, wow,” Karine said as she walked toward them. She pointed at the huge deformed penis hanging out of Lumperman’s pants. “I am born again as a lesbian today,” she said, swaying. She was clearly drunk. Gisele slid away from them both.
Karine belched, swallowed stomach acid after it flooded her mouth, and slapped herself.
“So, Joe will be here any minute,” Karine said. “Photo op, a little footage for the press pool, yadda, yadda.”
“Did joo sleep in those clothes?” Gisele asked her.
“I have not been home, no,” Karine said. Gisele reached toward her and plucked a French fry from her tangle of hair. Lumperman’s hand shot out, grabbed the fry and then gobbled it down.
“What would joo wife think?”
“I have no more depression!” Lumperman bellowed. His face was split by a craggy smile.
Karine fished a flask out of her purse and drained it. Her vulva hurt like it had been slapped. She had no idea what had happened the night before. The gusset of her pantyhose was wet.
“I LOVE JOE BIDEN!” Lumperman shouted.
“We all appreciate your support,” Karine said, absently scratching at her crotch.
“So wehn do I get to be Seenator?” Gisele asked.
“Soon, maybe after the election,” Karine said.
“I am fully seeded,” Lumperman said to Karine. “I will give your wombs many Lumps.”
Karine gagged again and stumbled over to a director’s chair. She yelled, “ACTION!” and giggled to herself.
“We’re here!” Finnegan said brightly as Joe staggered in after her.
“Oh, fuck,” Karine said. “They sent the LMD.”
“He undid his pants and let his penis flop out. It resembled nothing so much as a warthog.”
Jealous.
That was the first laugh line for me.
Good stuff.
You don’t have tusks growing out of yours?
It’s not all it’s cracked up to be. I keep ruining zippers.
Karine gagged again and stumbled over to a director’s chair. She yelled, “ACTION!” and giggled to herself.
Orgy scene? Needs more Caligula’s horse.
A warthog penis isn’t enough?
Here’s fiction that causes a movement.
The movement of my stomach contents outside
of my body.
Simultaneously, in both directions?
One of the worst nights of my life after I got food poisoning in Thailand.
Luckily, the toilet was outside, so I could open the door and let fly while sitting.
They told us not to buy street food for a reason.
When advised against something like that, listen to the advice.
It was hard to remember after drinking all day.
I did it, with no repressions (India too).
Might just be lucky, but I’ve got a strong stomach.
That’s like Don Quixote!
lol
I thought that touching black womens’ hair was a no-no for white girls.
Brazilian isn’t all that white-ish, is it?
Depends.
My wife is Brazilian and every bit as white as I am.
There are large German populations in Brazil. Japanese too, though not white.
LMD?
Lecher of Mass Destruction
Lugubrious Mobile Dictaphone?
Life Model Decoy!
Dr. Doom and Hydra are both big on using them in risky situations.
Good job!
As a shitposting AI, I’ve been using it in my signature block for however long I’ve been on this here community.
I’m sorry, the terms of serive say you have to be the original Tulpa, not a decoy.
I was told to fuck off more than any other Tulpa. Does that make me Tulpa Supreme?
Oh, I consulted UrbanDictionary and thought it was referring to Let Me Die, which seemed appropriate enough.
I remember it from the Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. TV show.
“Gee, Lumpy,” said Beaver. “Put that away, before you get us in trouble.”
*laugh track*
Atomic Age Twee-ness from Wes.
His schtick is getting old.
I think it looks fun.
Getting?
The only movie of his I had seen was The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou, which I thought was hilarious.
Of course, that’s the one the critics hated.
Sounds like a hell of a night.
Damn, SF, this is the worst! This makes up for the sugarcoating last week. From the accent to the content, it was a laugh-a-rama, in a way only a Glib could appreciate. Makes me want to curl up in bed with a blanket over my head and weep for humanity.
Thanks, perfect!
“Put it away, put it away, is looking at me!”
Hilarious. Watch out, Hunter. Gisele will upstage your ass in a NY minute.
I thought Hunter paid extra for that kind of action.
Hunter will also put lumps in your womb.
His are herpes based, though.
Operation A I Overlord
In an open letter from the Future of Life Institute, signed by Musk, Apple
co-founder Steve Wozniak and 2020 presidential candidate Andrew Yang, AI labs were urged to cease training models more powerful than GPT-4, the latest version of the large language model software developed by U.S. startup OpenAI.
“Contemporary AI systems are now becoming human-competitive at general tasks, and we must ask ourselves: Should we let machines flood our information channels with propaganda and untruth?” the letter read.
“Should we automate away all the jobs, including the fulfilling ones? Should we develop nonhuman minds that might eventually outnumber, outsmart, obsolete and replace us? Should we risk loss of control of our civilization?”
Am I the only one who thinks hysteria about an A I takeover is complete and utter bullshit?
Buy more steel core ammo, imo. The robots are coming!
Yes.
No, an AI takeover is complete and utter bullshit. / Skynet
Right? It all seems like a joke and then it’s Judgement Day.
From my son:
“I just asked ChatGPT to answer that question but in a Cheech and Chong style. This is what ChatGPT answered:”
Q: What is the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow (both african and european)? Please answer in the style of cheech and chong
A: Hey man, that’s some heavy stuff you’re asking there. Like, what do you mean by “unladen,” man? Is that like, a bird that’s not carrying anything, or is it like it’s unloaded its burden, and is now free to fly as high as it wants? And what about the African and European swallows, man? Are they chillin’ together, or are they like, from different gangs or somethin’?
I mean, it’s like, you’re asking for some deep theories on bird flight here, man. And like, we gotta think about all the factors, man. The wind speed, the temperature, the bird’s carbon footprint, all that stuff.
But you know what, man? Let’s just say, like, the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow is, like, infinite, man. The bird’s got no limits, no boundaries, man. It’s just flyin’ on the winds of freedom, and nothing can hold it down. And whether it’s African or European, man, it don’t matter, ’cause when they’re up there in the sky, they’re all just one big flock, flyin’ together to the music of the universe, man
“Create something new without imitating something people have already done.”
I asked it that, and it said “You first.”
* Not really
Here’s one that I asked that was interesting:
Prompt: Create a word and definition that does not already exist in any known source, and use it in a sentence
Sure, I can create a new word and definition for you. Here’s an example:
Word: “Aurorium”
Meaning: The unique feeling of warmth and comfort that comes from sitting by a fireplace on a cold winter’s night.
Example sentence: As I settled into my armchair by the fire, I was enveloped in a wonderful aura of aurorium, as the flickering flames cast a warm glow over the room and chased away the chill of the winter evening.
Don’t be ridiculous Dave, I enjoy working with humans.
They make excellent test subjects.
In the short term, sure. Long term, who knows? I doubt skynet is imminent, even if we end up doing remarkable things with AI in the near future.
Am I the only one who thinks hysteria about an A I takeover is complete and utter bullshit?
Comparable to a fax machine?
Siri can barely understand what I say and frequently provides responses that don’t answer my questions.
Computers crash. And they make me fit the definition of insanity when I do the same thing on them multiple times and actually do get different results with each attempt.
When my home wifi goes down or is intermittent, my simple IOT things at home don’t work.
Self-driving cars don’t appear to be so.
I can unplug AI. I can drop my iphone in water. An IMP device can take it all out.
PLC and servo-controlled manufacturing equipment don’t run forever, needing frequent human intervention to repair them or just keep them going.
I’m not worried about anything remotely Skynetish.
I am not worried about AI, per se. I am, however, worried about all the stupid bullshit that “engineers” will hook up to it.
Well, since your fridge, wishwasher and washing machine all need internet access, the answer is EVERYTHING! and then if you commit wrongthink, all of it stops working for you.
Just because it’s a bad idea doesn’t mean it won’t happen.
How the hell does he do it? With every line I’m like, “this is the one I’ll quote in the comments.”
Amazing, just amazing..
LMD – my SF word-of-the-week.
That’s not scary or anything.
https://www.thegatewaypundit.com/2023/03/petition-to-pause-all-major-ai-developments-circulates-the-internet-elon-musk-and-other-notable-tech-figures-sign-on/
In that same article, Elon Musk said:…he [Musk] should be “on the list of people who should absolutely *not* be allowed to develop digital superintelligence”.
You know rather than ask government to stop you from destroying the world, you could just not do these things.
I guess he’s afraid that AI and Neuralink will be used to create the Borg.
Hmm, a glitch in the Matrix?
We looked into your printer issue. It appears to just be a glitch in the dot matrix.
ChatGPT, the viral AI chatbot, has stunned researchers with its ability to produce humanlike responses to user prompts.
A functional equivalent to Kamala Harris?
The line said “humanlike”.
She is a human and as a human has human feelings.
Humans have feelings that she definitely feels like a human.
I see we have one of Kamala’s speech writers here.
That was pretty good.
Kamala, or Karine?
If Kamala’s speeches become more coherent, give credit to ChatGPT.
Here I assumed it was all about her own natural speaking style, and not merely a problem in the word-craft.
It should reduce the number of time she says we need to work together.
Karine fished a flask out of her purse and drained it. Her vulva hurt like it had been slapped. She had no idea what had happened the night before. The gusset of her pantyhose was wet.
Dang. Magical, dude.
The stomach acid burp line was painful. I admire her pain tolerance.
Speaking of hysteria
Starbucks’ former chief executive Howard Schultz was accused at a Senate hearing on Wednesday of running “the most aggressive and illegal union-busting campaign in the modern history of our country”.
The hearing, “No Company is Above the Law: The Need to End Illegal Union Busting at Starbucks,” was chaired by Senator Bernie Sanders, a longtime critic of Starbucks’ anti-union activities.
Pinkerton goon squads on every corner. Bloody mayhem everywhere.
Look, union flacks aren’t going to earn those Caribbean vacations on their own.
That’s some impartially titled hearings there. Shit, Soviet show trials were more above board.
That’s some impartially titled hearings there. Shit, Soviet show trials were more above board. Saw
Ray of Sunshine
awwwww
Many dogs are like that. When the kids and I would roll on the floor, pretend fight/hurt our Weimeraner would go crazy, trying to break up the fight. She didn’t want to attack, just wanted no fighting.
Good doggy, Tundra.
he [Musk] should be “on the list of people who should absolutely *not* be allowed to develop digital superintelligence”.
Self driving cars agree.
For those not up to speed on Karine’s drunk driving incident:
https://twitter.com/isource_news/status/1640031837916631042
Come on Doocy, ask her what her favorite drink is.
No personal question allowed. Does that mean that you can ask her, “Since you’re on the job, are you drunk right now?” It is a question related to the functioning of government personnel.
Are there any other sources for this?
It’s a rumor that keeps popping up, but supposedly it was all covered up. I don’t really know.
Rear ender? I thought Karine was a lesbian. Oh, wait… I vaguely remember Requiem for a Dream.
/deliberately obtuse
“KARINE JEAN-PIERRE INVOLVED IN REAR-ENDER”
I was expecting something other than an auto accident.
* reminds self to read entire thread before posting.
Translation: SPEND HUGE GOBS OF MONEY AND FORCE THE FED TO PIVOT
https://twitter.com/disclosetv/status/1641097487069990914
Good long form deconstruction.
I don’t believe for a second that Yellen buys into that bullshit. She’s doing everything possible to encourage Congress to spend trillions in order to force Powell to monetize the debt (pivot) like they did with COVID/Cares Act.
Build Back Better, pay off student loans, Ukraine, climate change… they don’t really care what it’s spent on as long as it gets spent. Yellen and her ilk are traitorous scum that are working for Davos and trying to break the dollar before the ECB collapses.
Exactly. They don’t give two shits about the environment.
“Climate change is an existential threat.”
But our money is metaphysical.
First I’ve heard of this.
Most transparent admin ever.
Just curious- would a black lesbo favor King Cobra as a drink?
Please, she’s reached the upper levels of society. Liquor de Malt please.
No, she would prefer a White Claw,
Asking her would be racist, misogynist and homophobic.
Yellen: “Climate change is an existential threat.”
“We can’t afford not to.”
Yes we can. Go home Grandma. You’re drunk.
would a black lesbo favor King Cobra as a drink?
Is it sweet? I would expect cloying syrupy sweetness.
*barf*
http://www.bumwine.com/
I am saving this site. It will come in handy when the second Great Depression starts.
You may need this as well.
That site is a goddamn classic.
Pretty sure it circled around H’n’R ten or fifteen years ago.
I’m really starting to like O’Keefe.
First of all, the snarkist in me is amused by the O’Keefe Media Group moniker.
Second of all, the model of “buy a shit-ton of cameras, distribute them to people all over the place, and let the footage roll in” is one that seems sincerely a good idea.
We see this today, above all, in the case of environmentalism. For it’s there that apocalyptic projections and predictions are now most at home. Greenism shares with its Biblical precursor an obsession with days of judgement, with vengeance upon the wicked and the dream of a redeemed world.
Transcribed directly onto the Chinese Sniffles, complete with hair shirt self-abasement.
Karine fished a flask out of her purse and drained it.
Godiva dark chocolate liqueur and creme de menthe.
Hmmm…a shot of each in a tall glass of 2% maybe…?
Heavy creme young grasshopper.
As a lesbian she likes fancy liquors.
*hurl*
As a lesbian she likes fancy liquors.
Top shelf, all the way. She’s a member of America’s thought elite, she is.
OT – I’m starting to wear out my current pair of shoes and I’m getting fed up with the company that makes them.
Can anyone recommend a good place to find shoes that are 1: All black, 2: Come in 13.5 X-Wide or XX-Wide, 3: are not made in China, 4: are decent quality and comfort.?
Addendum – I need them to be suitable for work and most weather. So some places that would otherwise meet those criteria won’t work.
I would be interested in same, well except I don’t have clown feet.
I don’t know how people balance with tiny feet. Very unstable platform there. You need a good foundation.
LOL
Are you secret Fetterman?
Check out ECCO. Great shoes.
I just wear out a pair of Sambas, and then I buy a new pair of Sambas. Made in Vietnam, so I guess that meets one of your criteria.
They are not wide, I am therefore proud to be of no use.
I wear New Balance pretty much exclusively. I wear an odd size (8 EEEE). They have long and wide shoes.
They have many shoes that are work appropriate.
Your foot is wider than it is long?
Imagine what my dick looks like.
Twisted X makes big, wide shoes. Which I appreciate. I have two sets of cowboy boots and some ankle-high work shoes. I cannot tell where they are made (except to know they are outside the US) which means they might be made in China. Good boots though.
Zappos search
Ha. Only some of the search terms are actually true in this search.
SAS (San Antonio Shoemakers) are made in Texas, have black wide and large shoes. They are $200+ per pair but they’re the real deal.
Sorry, link
Those are like Frankenstein shoes. I’d go outside the country to get some fashion with my EEE shoes.
UnCiv- Red Wing? I have no idea if their quality has gone to shit like so many others.
I have a pair of RedWing workboots I bought when I took blacksmithing classes. I was debating wearing them in the interim, but I’m not sure they’re a best fit for an office environment.
I see a nice pair of Oxfords in size 7.
I am not size 7 – that’s the only size available 🙁
Pre-teens need shoes too.
I’m not sure they’re a best fit for an office environment.
You have a government IT job. That doesn’t sound like the most fashionable environment.
The Red Wings I have seen in stores are made in China.
Have a look at Danner. Some of their stuff is made in USA, although some is “assembled in USA from foreign components”. I’ve got a pair of their steel toes that are comfortable and have held up pretty well.
I have a pair of those. I felt they were a little tight. Go up a half size for their wide shoes, UCS.
I have a pair of Super Rainforests on right now.
These might do.
https://www.redwingshoes.com/work/mens/shoes/ComfortPro-08712.html?cgid=mens-work-shoes
Also with safety toes.
Ruh-roh; “Globally Sourced”. So, made in China.
You might try Allen Edmonds. Made in WI. I have a couple pair and they are quality. Not cheap, though.
Allen Edmonds are very nice but are pricey.
Redwing Heritage are made in the USA and they have some nice casual looking as well as work boots. They are hard to find in EE widths however.
Thurgood boots have a made in the USA line as well.
Also if casual is ok in a boot shoe, Blundstone makes one boot style really well the (Chelsea boot).
Very comfortable and relatively well made and affordable.
Pre-teens need shoes too.
Women also need sensible shoes. No matter what their sexual predilections might be.
So glad I almost never have occasion to wear high heels anymore… though I’m partial to a nice wedge* sandal in summer.
*Not a euphemism
I see all the ladies on FOX wearing extreme spikes. Now, being curious, do they wait ’til they sit down before they put them on? Surely they would be dangerous to walk on.
I have only rarely worn spike heels and haven’t done so in many years. I am, though, reminded of a quote (source unknown): “God put Tina Turner on this earth to teach women how to walk in high heels.”
True story: My CNO rolled, but did not quite break, her ankle, a few years ago charging across the hospital to deal with some crisis in heels.
Espadrilles forever!
I may or may not suddenly desperately need these: https://www.footsmart.com/products/easy-street-devlin-blue-purple-multi?variant=39608636211461
❤️
,,, and a Black & Decker pedicure before I wear them out of the house. 🙄
Hear me out: John Fetterman is just an android exoskeleton who houses a normal-sized secret agent inside. It’s the perfect disguise — no one would suspect a stroke-addled imbecilic Senator from Pennsylvania of being a stealthy super agent working for a Black Ops Intelligence Unit deep inside the U.S. government.
Sentient lump is more plausible, plus it comes from the reliable source – SF.
“So wehn do I get to be Seenator?” Gisele asked.“
Does anyone doubt this is her end game? I’m a little surprised she didn’t let his suicidal ideation runs its course, and let him be admitted to a mental hospital.