Here are some more old photoshops for you to post comments under. This time I made them bigger so Tonio won’t confuse 3 breasted hookers with Mars rovers.
Funny Pictures on the Internet?
About The Author
CPRM
Organic troll farmer.
Robocop is great.
I’d buy that for a First.
*golf claps*
Yes, and *woof*.
*sheepishly raises hand*. I don’t get it.
It says Robocup.
I completely missed it. Thanks.
“Big Freeze Theory” has potential.
The last one should read, “It makes women moist.”
“Makes women sultry” would be my entry
“Makes women
sultrysalty”FIFY
Is that different?
I like the Amazing Race, that made me snicker.
I liked the first few seasons until it dawned on me that the concept is broken. It’s not one race, it’s a bunch of mini-races. And then the casting got so derpy.
Same, that’s why I like the meme – it presents their new model of casting.
I think it should be a dating show.
Take 2 people who are interested in each other, put them into Amazing Race situation(s) and see what happens.
The first season really was one continuous race only broken up by mandatory pit stops. The winners beat the second team by nearly a day IIRC. The producers then altered the rules so at each pit stop the teams were more narrowly grouped. I lost interest in a few seasons.
Not sure if I saw the first season, but yeah – that’s the way it should be. I think they just got lazy and didn’t want to spread the help across multiple cities.
I’ll bet you are right. Also, they want to maintain the tension of who will win up to the last 15 minutes of the season.
The football one – I’m not getting it.
#meneither
Norwood missed his kick wide right. Look at the goalposts.
Heh, OK. I figured it was something related to that.
Ask Rhy.
So, so perfect.
lol
It’s subtle. I’m not going to let them move the goal posts and get made to point it out to them.
It’s the Bills vs… not Bills. That’s all I can make out.
Look at the endzone.
Got it. Very clever!
That, the Olsen twins, Prime, the predator ones, and the Superman ones go right over my head.
I’ll admit, the olson twins one is just a photo I took at OMWC’s house.
lol
Lee Fang may have a SQUATCH-COCK because Mehdi Hasan‘s asshole ain’t ever gonna be the same.
Oof.
At one time that’d be enough to get Hasan shunned in professional journalism. Now, I dunno.
Professional journalism? Nah, he’s at MSNBC.
MSNBC will give him a raise and make him an editor.
Nice.
I’ll go with the sweaty chick because I’m basic.
I like the Predator Yearbook photo. I don’t quite grok the museum pic above it.
I think those are Alien specimens…?
I’m guessing CPRM made that one when Alien vs Predator came out.
Oh. I forgot that was a thing.
That part I got, I guess I was trying to think of a movie he was parodying with the museum.
It’s more that the Predators have a civilization. They have antique artifacts and trophies. Their has to be some beta Predator on the home planet who works as a museum tour guide.
The official response from Hormel on whether Spam goes bad is that as long as the can remains sealed, Spam will remain edible, but will lose its flavor after five years.
I wonder what poor bastard found out about that five year part.
I bought a can on a lark a few weeks ago. I don’t think I’ve eaten it since high school age. It might sit there for five years before I open it.
I wonder how he could tell.
But it picks up the flavor of the tin, so it’s all good!
OT: not so funny image from the internet
Prime example of the trash advice you get on LinkedIn
Instead of writing something clear and concise (if a bit passive) on your resume, try fluffing it up with big words, worthless numbers, and acronyms! Oh, and be concise!
I’m not sure how “Created a $1M go-to-market strategy using research from 20 cities” isn’t superior in every way to the original AND the word salad this person churned out.
By the way, “collaborated” doesn’t belong on a resume unless you’re directly and exclusively trying to make the point that you work well with others.
/rant
You are right Trashy. When I get gibberish/bullshit resumes, they go in the circular file.
I have a line item of “Managed team of X people including Y Direct Reports” then a bulleted list of what those people were responsible for. It’s there for the “Yes, I’ve been managing employees” part of my job experience. I make sure it’s clear what the team did and what I did.
Yep, managing is different, of course. There’s a valuable set of skills being implied there.
The set of skills implied by “collaborating” includes reading and responding to emails and joining a Zoom call successfully.
I’m a collaborator!
I heard that in the Ralphie voice.
Really? I heard it in Macron’s voice.
Excellent.
I heard it in Fredo’s voice.
Unless you’re some sort of Superman, it’s hard to express the fact that, well, everything is pretty much “teamwork” otherwise.
I have been the last man standing on a number of areas several times.
To be fair, the first hurdle is often getting the resume past the HR drone who knows nothing about the actual job and is just looking for specific things like “Google’s XYZ Formula”, because that’s the sort of thing they’ve been taught to look for.
It’s buzzword bingo all the way down at this point. You want to beat the algorithm of the listing service, but not be so jargoned as to look an idiot when an actual person reads it.
“I was on a team that did great work but my contributions were trash.”
I wonder if they will count the number of electric cars in the garage? As I understand things, EVs are at least twice as heavy as comparable ICE car. Most parking garages were not designed to handle twice the load.
https://twitchy.com/aaronw-313234/2023/04/18/breaking-parking-garage-collapses-in-manhattan-video/
One of the featured tweets also drops the “E” word – “explosion.” 24-hour rule, of course, but thank goodness EVs are safer than ICE vehicles if a fire should break out, right? Right???
Oh sure. No special measures required.
Meh, looks like the roof level collapsed, it should have been designed to handle the cars plus a snow load (which would could exceed the live load of the cars by double) and then a safety factor on top) if it collapsed because the car were twice as heavy and it wasn’t designed for that, it would have collapsed years ago under a heavy snow. Probably lack of maintenance and structural degradation.
I’m not claiming EVs are the cause of this collapse. But I am genuinely wondering if they will be investigated, regardless of outcome, as a possible cause.
And as I was following this earlier, someone pointed out that modern cars (non-EV) are heavier than cars from 1925 when this building was constructed. (OTOH I doubt this building was constructed as a car garage – I don’t know the exact building yet but I’ve walked down that street many times.)
How has the Biden administration not come up with a talking point for this?
https://dailycaller.com/2023/04/18/my-question-is-very-simple-biden-education-secretary-refuses-to-define-what-a-woman-is/
This is something the R’s need to hammer the left about. Don’t let them off the hook, if they cannot define essential aspects the the position they are looking to fill, than it needs to be pounded in that they are unfit for it. And, yes, I know that the media will call them names for it, but they will do that anyways, so lean into your damn job. Get these people to slip up and make asses of themselves on film and on paper.
In that vein, how the hell do the Republicans fail to ask him to define lesbian, gay, and bisexual. It all comes back to defining man and woman. Team Stupid missed another opportunity.
Xe can, but won’t because it would undermine present ideology.
PS. I don’t believe for a second that the parade of Dems you see blathering about transgender this and that believe a word of it. Saw a montage today of a dozen gray-hairs proclaiming their support for tranny kids and I was like, who is buying this crap?
My brain has been bothered by the Coors Light commercial with the dude hopping in the bath to drink beer and watch the game on his tablet – not by that part of the ad, but the music.
Why do I know that music!?
It’s The Meters, but not a song I knew. But I do know a sped-up version of it!
https://www.whosampled.com/sample/6522/Naughty-by-Nature-Feel-Me-Flow-The-Meters-Find-Yourself/
First world problems.
For sure – I start obsessing on samples all the time.
whosampled.com is crack.
https://www.whosampled.com/sample/2530/Beastie-Boys-Looking-Down-the-Barrel-of-a-Gun-Incredible-Bongo-Band-Last-Bongo-in-Belgium/
I only know the Meters from Cissy’s Strut.
Worth checking out other tunes – they’re fun. Probably some other tunes you don’t know you know.
“On Soviet Russian tv…”
Life in prison for standing up to the armed thugs terrorizing his neighborhood as part of a criminal conspiracy.
https://katu.com/news/local/portland-protest-mass-shooter-gets-life-in-prison-for-killing-woman-wounding-4-people-benjamin-smith-normandale-park-demonstration-murder-guilty-plea-oregon-sentenced-sentencing#
Forget it Gust. It’s Portland Town.
The morons at McDonalds are fucking with the burgers again. More sugar in the buns, cooking the burgers with the onions, and melting the cheese more. So more like the steamed glob that Five Guys sells. 🤦♂️
Beef tallow and McDLTs. In styrofoam.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4oBpdBn5GZw
The correct era.
Trippier: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=QtJd_QNpQQU
Bring back the fried apple pies!
And the classic fries which used to be world beaters.
Mornin y’all!
Morning.
Good morning, Sean, U, and limey!
The big deal local news station’s weather app has been nagging me with a “Frost Advisory” since yesterday afternoon, so I’ll probably have to scrape my car windows this morning, and when I get to work, I get to start writing up the minutes of last night’s Board meeting. 😒
Maybe my boss will have forgotten to record the Zoom session…
Mornin’ Red. Does that mean you just make it up? Crowdsource some creative minutes from the glibs.
Now THAT would be a lot more fun! 😄
Board meeting, glib style.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=55fqjw2J1vI&pp=ygUbbW9udHkgcHl0aG9uIGJvYXJkIG1lZXRpbmcg
Well, look what popped up in the sidebar! Bookmarked for later…when I’m not listening to the recording of a meeting…
“The Director for the North Saxons has moved that we falsify records. All in favor?”
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=XsE56PvCOJI
🎶🎶
Mornin’
https://youtu.be/PbvLwvnIDYA
🎶🎶
-Matt Gaetz scolded for displaying leaked secret Pentagon docs in unclassified hearing
https://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2023/apr/18/matt-gaetz-scolded-displaying-leaked-secret-pentag/?utm_source=pushly&utm_campaign=pushnotify&utm_medium=subscriber&utm_id=desktop
What about “leaked” to these shit for brains people not get? Once it’s on a publicly accessible digital repository the classification is moot, are they going to start prosecuting people who look at them I wonder (because I could see them trying to do just that which would be beyond the pale)?
You wouldn’t hold up the Playgirls you found in the priest’s office in church for all to see, would you? It’s simply obscene.
DOD has warned employees to not look at these docs, and to self report if you have seen them.
Are you telling me people don’t instantly melt if they gaze upon them, like the Nazis at the end of Raiders?
I could not say. I have not seen these docs. Otherwise I would have to self report.
“Self, this is a report. So noted, self.”
Worse they start asking questions and get as annoying as Socrates.
They don’t like it if drones as questions.
ugh, ask questions.
“Worse they start asking questions and get as annoying as Socrates.”
But not quite as annoying as Judge Nap?
Why do you say that? How many cities have been annoyed into ordering his suicide? How can we compare to a man who left no writings of his own?
What a joke. A sad joke and a bad joke but lordy.
Please tell me you’re joking.
It’s the DoD. I believe it.
‘Beyond the pale’ seems to be where they spend more and more of their time.
Just for shits and giggles, he should read them into the Congressional Record.
For the lessors, you must treat leaked classified as classified or face punishment. Do not view, do not confirm, do not share.
And, especially, do NOT self-report.
The NSA knows anyway.
What if I don’t lease out property?
Ensure there aren’t any typos in your leese?
Mornin’, reprobates!
Good morning, ‘patzie! How are you today?
Lovely, thanks. My team members will be celebratinh our big rollout in the office this afternoon. Without yours truly, since I lack the appropriate credentials. HR lady tried to help…
HR Lady: Vaccination is still required unless you have a medical reason which would qualify as an exemption. Can you provide medical documentation to support the exemption?
What I wanted to say: What gives you the right to dictate my medical decisions? Furthermore, can YOU provide evidence that vaccinations stop the spread of the dreaded ‘vid?
What I actually said: No.
It doesn’t matter if they work, they’re more dangerous than the disease.
OFFS!
I didn’t know anyone was still pulling that crap.
Embrace inclusion and rename your towns with proper English names.
Mornin’ all.
The FDA no longer authorizes the monovalent vaccine. Don’t you worry, the bivalent version is still authorized.
All of them have failed the sniff test and this are not authorized by me. Anyone administering them or attempting to convince people to take them is guilty of attempted murder.
Turns out they didn’t pass the smell test (probably) for a lot of the doctors who were pushing them too, they were just padding their bank accounts:
https://www.zerohedge.com/covid-19/great-covid-19-vaccine-bribe
I figured as much. The Feds were bribing everyone across the board to mandate compliance. Why not pay doctors via the insurers too?
https://www.zerohedge.com/covid-19/great-covid-19-vaccine-bribe
Ah well, daddy needed a new Porsche.
Are you two dressed the same, too ?
Our moms thought it would be cute if we did.
El Gato Malo runs some of the calculations.
Customer rents a skid steer and blows out a hydraulic line.
I swap the unit and then he sends pictures of the new loader with completely destroyed hydraulic lift cylinders and a message of “This is not good!!! I was simply loading stump mulch. Is the track skid still out?” and “I noticed the cylinder was a little bent when I got it.”
I send a mechanic out to the job and find out that the customer was lifting tree segments that probably weighed as much as the loader itself, way past the limits of the machine. Obviously why he blew out the first hydraulic line as well.
I love it when they break my equipment and immediately start in with the lies. It establishes that trust with the customer so well. And he’s going to love it when I send him a bill for a few grand in repairs (assuming he didn’t bend the frame of the loader).
… I don’t understand people.
It’s really very simple.
People suck.
Ayup.
Do you offer insurance like rental car companies do?
I used to. Then I found out that the only people who paid for it were the ones who destroyed the equipment.
You mean you cant just write it off ?
Yeah, you better give me the insurance. Because I’m gonna beat the hell out of this equipment.
suh’ fam
whats goody
Since this is my “Saturday night”…..TALL CANS!
🍻
Hey there…how YOU doin’ ?
Joey! 🍕 🍝
Thought experiment- what would happen to Nick Gillespie if you took away his jacket ?
He would vanish in a puff of uncontained self-importance mixed with self-satisfaction. It would be glorious to see, but for god!s sake, don’t get any on you!
The Jacket IS Gillespie; without The Jacket, there is no Gillespie.
Coach Klein?
OK….so what would happen if someone other than The Jacket tried to wear it?
The Jacket would take control of its host.
That’s like asking what would happen to a turtle without it’s shell.
The Miller time slogan always reminds me of the thing- it’s clobbering time.