TGIF Morning Links

by | May 5, 2023 | Daily Links | 422 comments

Sloopy being on the road and all is busy challenging his digestive system. Those of us who know him in real life are familiar with his intestinal fortitude, meaning he has a remarkable ability to evade the First Law of Thermodynamics by producing more fart gas that he takes in solid and liquid matter. It should be a subject under intense study by scientists, but let’s be honest- none of us want to go anywhere near that. His asshole is nicknamed “Oh, the humanity!”

Tales from my Baltimore trip tomorrow, I promise. Worth waiting for, I promise that as well.

Speaking of humanity, there are of course human birthdays afoot including proof that economics can kill; the philosophy can bore; that white men can do black; that fat gay guys can cook; a guy who inspired Goldfinger; a guy who was the perfect retailer; and further proof that one-name singers suck.

On to the actual Links.

 

Comedy at its best.

 

I note that it appears to be Jewish.

 

They know their audience. The almost simultaneous statements by the usual set of tards are worded weirdly similarly.

 

These things only happen in the US.

 

And they sure don’t happen in places with tight gun control.

 

“This time, we’ve got that darkie for sure! Git the rope, boys!”

 

All I have for you today is the greatest rock and pop band of all time doing an absolutely perfect song absolutely perfectly. Don’t fuckin’ whine about it.

About The Author

Old Man With Candy

Old Man With Candy

Suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me. Wait, wrong book, I'll find something else.

422 Comments

  1. UnCivilServant

    Philosophy is always a bore, we didn’t need any one particular person’s help to know that.

    • SDF-7

      I don’t know… the Australians manage to keep people’s interest pretty well.

      Morning, all!

      • pistoffnick

        G’Day, Bruce!

    • ron73440

      Sorry

  2. Not Adahn

    His asshole is nicknamed “Oh, the humanity!”

    Glibarch taintoos confirmed.

    • SDF-7

      Of all the new memes around here… of course it would be “taintoos” that catches on.

  3. Not Adahn

    The ceremony will be star-studded, featuring performances from Lionel Richie, Katy Perry, and Andrea Bocelli.

    First Lady Jill Biden is also expected to attend.

    I don’t even know which joke to make here.

    • SDF-7

      Yeah… comments I saw yesterday (somewhere) about how we’re not sending the President or the VP but a glorified school teacher come to mind.

      Of course, being old jug ears “best known for hanging around until Mum dies” Chuck III himself, I would have been fine with just sending no one. If anyone is going to bring back the English Republic, he seems the likely candidate.

      • robc

        All previous odd numbered King Charleses have been beheaded.

      • AlexinCT

        You calling for some more samples?

      • rhywun

        We’re sending her?!

        Saw a story a couple weeks ago about the last time she completely disrespected tradition in the presence of Mum.

      • R C Dean

        I’ll admit, I’ll be interested to see what kind of hideous get-up she wears for that.

      • Zwak , who will swing for the crime, in double time!

        Check the couch cushions for change and dresses!

      • Gustave Lytton

        I know 🤦‍♂️. Not even an official position of the us government . Like if the UK sent Queen Camilla for a state visit.

        I’d say the Biden admin doesn’t have a fucking clue or is intentionally insulting Britain, but I suspect the real answer is Dementia Joe simply can’t hang for the several hour coronation ceremony and his handlers can’t break him out if necessary.

      • Pine_Tree

        I haven’t bothered to look, but from an official state capacity, I wonder who (if anybody) went from the USG to the last one? Seems the ambassador is the right answer.

      • SDF-7

        Looks like George Marshall (he of the “pay Germany not to break Europe” plan) – which makes sense since he was Secretary of State at the time.

        Given I’d be insulted if they sent Blinken to my house… I suppose we shouldn’t complain.

      • juris imprudent

        So you think all of Germany should’ve been allowed to fall under Soviet influence in the post WWII era?

    • Not Adahn

      I am going to assume that the singer lineup is actually reflective of HRM’s tastes. Particularly since it seems to be a bit light on Brits singing for their liege lord.

    • Michael Malaise

      That’s First Doctor Lady to you!

  4. Shirley Knott

    Come now. We all know Adele is really Randy Marsh with a half-decent recording & vocal processing set-up.

    • slumbrew

      I thought that was Lorde?

      • Not Adahn

        That’s Madonna’s daughter.

      • Shirley Knott

        Could be. I tend to forget how bad my memory is, and it wasn’t an especially memorable episode.

      • Shirley Knott

        I go to box, feel shame

  5. Not Adahn

    Re: Coronation,

    1. I will be at a shooting match on Saturday, but were I not being such a perfect example of the difference between Americans and Brits, I would have actually turned on the zoom to listen to the liveglibbbing of the ceremony. I would actually be interested in a transcript of that.

    2. NPR was showing their desperation in chasing the yoot demo in their coverage describing the “Royal bling” which included a “golden scepter, which is like a magic wand.”

    • SDF-7

      I suppose it would be uncouth to say “A golden scepter, which is a glorified version of the club his ancestors used to beat down anyone who stood in their way of grasping power”.

    • Tonio

      A phallopatriarchal symbol.

    • Michael Malaise

      From the article:

      Residents haven’t fingered the culprit

      Never change, NYP.

  6. SDF-7

    The almost simultaneous statements by the usual set of tards are worded weirdly similarly.

    Quick! Someone get that randomizer routine in the NPC chat script running again! They’re on to us!

    • Certified Public Asshat

      Sen. Jamaal T. Bailey, a Democrat, tweeted Thursday: “Jordan Neely was simply asking for food and water when his life was brutally taken.

      Wrong Subway.

      • UnCivilServant

        I’m sick of hearing lying liars lie.

      • AlexinCT

        Without the lying to whoop low information voters into a frenzy they would have to actually run on the fact their politics are destructive and are running the country into the ground.

      • SDF-7

        Well if he went to the Subway with Jared, even worse things might have happened to him. Or the Chicago one at 2AM. MAGA country and all.

      • rhywun

        Yeah, there are plenty of places to “ask for food and water” outside the confines of a train car and while not terrorizing passengers who just want to get somewhere.

      • slumbrew

        Listen to the most recent Fifth Column podcast and those gents, who actually take the subway, are not that sympathetic to the violent crazy person with 40 arrests (including aggravated assault
        , I believe)

      • SDF-7

        I can’t imagine anyone who’s ever been stuck in a subway car with an obviously mentally ill or criminally inclined person would feel much sympathy. I haven’t paid close attention – so no idea if the choke hold was just one of those “good idea, but taken way too far” or a legitimate over-reaction or what… but having a lunatic talking about being ready to die and threatening everyone around them in an enclosed metal tube so you can’t “duty of retreat”… seems like a self-defense / incapacitation scenario for sane (hence not the AOC wing) sapient beings.

      • Scruffyy Nerfherder

        The only real answer is to abandon the cities. They won’t vote to change themselves.

        John Carpenter and Snake Plissken were just a few decades ahead of their time.

      • AlexinCT

        The protests are planned and ginned up. I expect the left to whoop people into frenzies and for riots to happen constantly. Anyone that dares defend themselves/others or their property will be treated as the real criminals. The agenda is to cow people into bending the knee by making them fear for their lives.

      • DEG

        The protests are planned and ginned up.

        Color Revolution inbound.

        The same old tired playbook is getting trotted again. On the other hand.. it works.

      • trshmnstr the terrible

        The only real answer is to abandon the cities. They won’t vote to change themselves.

        The good news on that front is that I just put in the order last night to sell stock that will push us over our down payment goal and officially open up our buying window after 2+ years of prep.

        The bad news is that we’re going to end up paying $600k+ for a $450k house in this market.

      • Certified Public Asshat

        Please trashy, just be patient. The housing market is going to break.

      • juris imprudent

        In a lot of markets, nothing is going near the list prices, so don’t be discouraged.

      • trshmnstr the terrible

        Please trashy, just be patient. The housing market is going to break.

        We’re in no particular rush. We’d like to be in a new house sometime this year, but we can wait. I’ve seen prices softening, but would like to see more of the covid gains erased before getting in.

      • Tundra

        We’re in no particular rush.

        Same. We just signed another lease. Prices are definitely coming down here, but we’ll see.

      • rhywun

        not that sympathetic to the violent crazy person with 40 arrests

        And the majority of folks feel the same but you’ll never hear from them in the MSM.

      • Not Adahn

        And why should we care what the unwashed masses think?

        *sniffs haughtily*

      • R C Dean

        Err, democracy?

      • Not Adahn

        Democracy means that the will of the people as expressed through their Columbia-degree having journalismists is enacted by their elected representatives from the Democratic Party.

        It’s like you’ve never read the 1619 project or something.

      • Count Potato

        Democracy is illegal in Arizona.

      • pistoffnick

        Democracy is illegal in Arizona.

        Democracy is known to the state of California to cause cancer.

    • Scruffyy Nerfherder

      “We understand our current times have created a heightened sense of fear,” the law firm’s statement said. “However, there has to be a clear line of when lethal force can be used by anyone, including civilians.”

      Eric Garner says hi.

      • SDF-7

        “And it is when we say it should! Especially on those icky types!”

      • Zwak , who will swing for the crime, in double time!

        Branch Davidians wave slowly from the sidelines.

      • Muzzled Woodchipper

        Speaking of Branch Dravidian’s….

        There was a drama series on Netflix a couple of years ago. Pretty sure Netflix made it. It was pretty good, but has since disappeared, likely because it was quite sympathetic to the BD.

        I wonder where I might be able to see that again.

      • ron73440

        Was it Waco?

        It aired on Paramount and should be on their streaming service.

        It was really well done and infuriating.

      • Muzzled Woodchipper

        I think so.

        Okay, so not Netflix, but was definitely on Netflix.

        Thanks.

  7. Toxteth O'Grady

    Mr. Palin was widowed recently.

    Adele’s music (though great pipes) mostly makes me feel hung over.

    Promo for some PBS Clarence-Ginni exposé on Create TV, where I go to get away from politics. Gimme the happy cloud reruns.

    • SDF-7

      “The cat says ‘MEEEP!””

      Love huskies on principle (close to wolves and bright as they are) — but figure a climate with summers in the 110+ range isn’t fair to them with all that fur. Thanks, your Holiness!

    • B.P.

      Gooey malamutes. (Points to avatar) I would never dream of having a cat around one, though.

  8. Sensei

    A wonderful example of “it’s all about me” that personifies the current mentality of today,

    Can’t miss their exit

    • Scruffyy Nerfherder

      That’s a deathwish.

    • Tonio

      Thank you for that.

      Also, increasingly no excuse for that in this era of universal smartphones and talking, GPS-enabled, navigation apps.

      • Ted S.

        You do know GPS can lead people astray.

      • DrOtto

        My sister owns a small business in St. Paul, a truck showed up one day with “her” delivery. He was actually looking for a similarly named shop in Washington state, but his GPS routed him to her. Oops.

      • DrOtto

        Agree, it’s the absolute blind faith people put in these devices that amazes me.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Having driven in a lot of unfamiliar places, it doesn’t give clear directions or ones that match the actual road sign names some of the time.

      • UnCivilServant

        “You need to go to the first left past where the old oak usedta stood, then drive till the third right past where the MacKenyie farm was, and a bout half a mile past where Farmer Johansen had that awful wreck, you’ll be halfway there.”

      • Michael Malaise

        This how my father would give directions because he always knew the back way, which was always faster.

      • Nephilium

        Or just try using it in Pittsburgh, where the freeways are on top of each other and the GPS can’t figure out which one you’re on.

        On the other hand, take the loss, go on to the next exit and get off there. Then look at the updated directions and follow them. Don’t be the asshole that makes everyone else wait (or cause an accident) because you missed a turn/exit.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Exactly, miss an exit move on and turn around. I’ve noticed a sharp increase in unsafe driving over all. Lots of passing on double solid yellow, right turns from left lanes, etc. And next to no traffic enforcement.

      • Zwak , who will swing for the crime, in double time!

        Defund the police.

        Unless they are on my ass, then it is game on, seemingly.

      • B.P.

        I see lots of red-light running, too.

      • robc

        GPS freaks out when you are on the I-25 reversible HOV lane in downtown Denver.

    • Fourscore

      What? Who hasn’t done that?

      I did see a car backing up on I35 in Mpls to make the exit. WTF is that, I said to myself. Fortunately I was in a different lane

    • Gustave Lytton

      Last weekend, some bikers in leathers walled out into both lanes of main thoroughfare of nearby city, and held up traffic for their bike ride to leave the parking of the bar/cycle shop whatever. Not just lined up and ready, but dribbling out. Yet I’m the asshole by my wife for honking my horn. I’m going to get myself killed. Block one lane, fine, but both and not be ready? Fuck you.

      • ron73440

        Had a group riding together once blocking off red lights so they could all go through.

        After the second time of almost running over the jackass in front of me, I went around him and unintentionally* gave him a blast of diesel smoke.

        My wife said he flipped me off, but that was better than him getting run over by a 7,000 lb truck.

        *It really was unintentional, I was trying to get out of the intersection quickly

      • Zwak , who will swing for the crime, in double time!

        I have had that, too. They think they have some sort of weird Biker Right of Way. F that. I used to ride, and that shit doesn’t hold up with me.

      • Michael Malaise

        I had two BICYCLISTS run a red light right in front of me as I was crossing their path. First guy made it fun, second guy was dead to rights but I slowed the fuck down and he made a huge loop out in front of me to try and avoid contact. If I didn’t like my new car I would’ve hit him.

      • Michael Malaise

        Fun? That’s not the right word. What was I trying to type? BY? PAST?

    • DrOtto

      I’ve witnessed shit like that in person. It’s getting more and more frequent.

    • Zwak , who will swing for the crime, in double time!

      So I see someone doing a Full Oregon has spread to other areas.

      Not cool, Portland!

  9. Count Potato

    MERRY SINK OF MAYONNAISE!!!

    • Rat on a train

      Is it from a bioengineered source?

  10. waffles

    why do we have to do all this weimar stuff? is it just something endemic to our species, or is it something else?

    it seems completely foreseeable and yet inevitable.

  11. SDF-7

    An article I think a lot of us here would agree with.

    • The Other Kevin

      That’s pretty much how I feel. Trump was a decent president, but was a terrible judge of character. And this time every single establishment is going to fight him even harder. I don’t see him winning that fight.

      • juris imprudent

        He’d be a lame duck from day one, and any of us would’ve learned from the first term what it would take to force our will in a second. You think he has?

      • Tundra

        No way he’s gonna win another. I’m a little concerned that they are gonna try to put him in prison.

      • AlexinCT

        If they don’t put him in prison they will assassinate him. The guy will not be allowed to challenge the corruptocracy ever again.

      • Zwak , who will swing for the crime, in double time!

        The problem is that he, bad judge of character that he may be, is the loudest at speaking the language of the working class. And until his balloon is deflated in that group, he is going to be the 2K gorilla in the room. My advise, stay out of that war and focus on the Senate and House.

      • juris imprudent

        focus on the Senate and House.

        Narrator: This is where real change must come from anyway, which means real change ain’t comin’.

      • The Other Kevin

        The GOP got lucky with the House last time. I expect next time the election fortification will finally get to a point where Dems have permanent majorities, unless something is done to counter that.

      • WTF

        It’s difficult to “fortify” congressional districts, if they don’t already have control of the vote counting/manufacturing in that district and benefit from gerrymandering. Much easier to fortify statewide and national elections where control of the densely-populated urban areas provides opportunity to manufacture a lot of votes.

  12. The Late P Brooks

    Teach white people not to strangle black people.

    I couldn’t make it past “experienced his mother’s murder” in the article. I hope someone referred to that choke hold as “lynching”.

    • slumbrew

      Also from the Fifth Column – “where were these protesters when his mother was murdered?”

      It’s like they have some ulterior motive….

      • Zwak , who will swing for the crime, in double time!

        Make people take sides in a marginal case.

        Divide and conquer.

  13. Fourscore

    “Hold on there, Andy”

    They were a family hit on Sunday evening radio at the Fourscores, ’40s-early ’50s.

    The TV program ran weekdays in the afternoons, early ’60s. I rushed home from work to eat supper while watching ol’ “Amos and Andy”. I guess I was way politically incorrect as a younger man. I’m sorry. “Kingfish” was a funny guy, nonetheless.

  14. SDF-7

    ‘Orning ‘Ordles — Cinco de Meh-o indeed.

    Daily Duotrigordle #429
    Guesses: 35/37
    Time: 03:24.99
    https://duotrigordle.com/

    Daily Quordle 466
    6️⃣5️⃣
    7️⃣4️⃣
    m-w.com/games/quordle

    • Sean

      Daily Quordle 466
      4️⃣8️⃣
      5️⃣7️⃣
      m-w.com/games/quordle

      #waffle469 5/5

      🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩
      🟩⭐🟩⭐🟩
      🟩🟩⭐🟩🟩
      🟩⭐🟩⭐🟩
      🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩

      🔥 streak: 115
      🌟 #wafflecenturion
      wafflegame.net

    • Tundra

      Daily Quordle 466
      6️⃣5️⃣
      4️⃣7️⃣

      Line.

    • rhywun

      Blech.

      Daily Quordle 466
      5️⃣8️⃣
      4️⃣7️⃣

  15. Rebel Scum

    A murderer who was appointed to serve on a Pennsylvania county prison board after spending nearly 30 years behind bars himself has now been charged with a slew of crimes related to COVID relief funds.

    At least it’s stealing and not killing.

    • slumbrew

      He’s been reformed by the system!

      • Sean

        He was trained a new skill!

      • DrOtto

        Sounds like he’s ready for politics.

      • juris imprudent

        Nope, he resigned instead of riding it to higher office.

      • slumbrew

        Rookie mistake

  16. juris imprudent

    On Wednesday, Serbia was rocked by news of a 13-year-old boy opening fire on classmates at a school in the capital Belgrade. That shooting left at least eight children dead, along with a security guard.

    No doubt the gun will be traced back to Indiana.

    • SDF-7

      Austria and Hungary are mulling an ultimatum.

      • Homple

        Germany is encouraging them to make it a really vindictive ultimatum.

    • Fourscore

      High capacity magazines and lack of trigger control.

  17. The Late P Brooks

    I’ll admit, I’ll be interested to see what kind of hideous get-up she wears for that.

    My guess is she’ll be closely watching the Derby crowd tomorrow for fashion tips.

  18. Rebel Scum

    Cocky pranksters mowed a giant penis onto the famous grounds of the Royal Crescent in Bath, England, where a significant coronation party is set to be thrown in just two days.

    Seems like a hairy situation.

    • Gustave Lytton

      “Off with his head” when they find the person responsible?

      • Rebel Scum

        Just the tip.

      • Nephilium

        It really takes bollocks to make that joke here.

    • Not Adahn

      When I was at OU, I’d walk back from the bars to witness donuts in the South Oval. When I went to my 8:00 class the next morning, there would be zero evidence of there ever having been damage to the lawn and flowerbeds. I can only assume we hired groundscrew from some religious gardener zealot cult.

    • DrOtto

      For a quick fix, they could mow two more humps at each end and make it a middle finger.

  19. Gustave Lytton

    Went shopping at Walmart yesterday. The fuckers have removed bags entirely from stores here. No paper sack nor those ridiculous “reusable” bags. Nothing. Apparently they’ve done the same in a half dozen states and all of Canada and Mexico. They really do hate their customers.

    • Fatty Bolger

      From what I’ve read, they only do that in states that either have bans, or are very likely to implement them.

      • Gustave Lytton

        For now. Their clear intention is to remove all of them unless required by law.

      • Gustave Lytton

        And there is not a ban on paper bags or the “reusable” bags here.

      • Fatty Bolger

        I doubt that, it would probably cost them more than it saved.

      • Gustave Lytton

        And to clarify, this is beyond single use bags. They removed all carry out bags (paper or plastic).

      • juris imprudent

        I don’t get that they aren’t selling you reusables.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Come visit the store and see the Walmart signs on the registers explaining the lack of any bags. You can use a cart to take your unbagged groceries out but not a handcart. Those are all tagged now to alarm on the shoplifting gates so you can’t take those out.

      • Fatty Bolger

        Yes, eliminating them in places where it costs them more than not eliminating them. IMO that page is just some pap for the greenies. Notice how quick they were to get the word out to debunk rumors that they would be eliminating them nationwide.

      • Gustave Lytton

        I doubt the paper bags were costing them more than the nickel taxfee they and their colluding grocers got in exchange for not opposing the ban four years ago.

      • Fatty Bolger

        Paper bags cost 4-5 times as much, not including the increased handling and storage costs due to their weight and bulk. And the places banning plastic bags (or adding fees) are much more likely to do the same with paper bags in the near future.

      • UnCivilServant

        From a utility standpoint, paper bags are worse by all metrics.

      • trshmnstr the terrible

        Incorrect. They are properly shaped for a large number of grocery items. They have a substantially larger capacity, and they stack in a trunk in a much more efficient way.

        The only benefit of plastic is that it is waterproof.

      • Count Potato

        Plastic costs less, and is better for the environment.

    • rhywun

      They really do hate their customers.

      To be fair, the federal government and many state and local governments hate you too.

      • Zwak , who will swing for the crime, in double time!

        It’s Walmart. Everyone hates their customers.

  20. The Late P Brooks

    Joke from last night’s movie

    Girl: I don’t believe in casual sex.

    Dangerfield: It won’t be casual. I’ll keep my tie on.

  21. Rebel Scum

    Politicians and lawmakers are demanding accountability after a 24-year-old New York City subway rider was seen on video putting a homeless man in a fatal chokehold.

    Law enforcement questioned the people involved. It appears to be an unfortunate a) error on the part of the people restraining the guy or b) some other health related issue.

    But I’m sure we need to railroad the three people restraining the dude because the skin pigment doesn’t align the way leftist prefer (except for the black guy involved in holding the guy down…).

    • juris imprudent

      Black face of white supremacy!

  22. Certified Public Asshat

    A clip of @theserfstv claiming that 'sucking dick isn't gay…' on @Timcast with @IanCrossland & @seamus_coughlin — Biased Confirmations (@BiasedConfirm) May 5, 2023

    Not even a little gay?

    • Not Adahn

      Not if you’re a woman.

      • AlexinCT

        WAIT! So all you are saying you got to do to not be gay is claim to identify as a woman when you suck dick?

      • Not Adahn

        Let’s not bicker and argue about ‘oo sucked off ‘oo.

      • Count Potato

        What if they are both women?

      • Not Adahn

        Ah, you’ve read Gender Queerthen.

        I find it kind of amazing that the author found that sucking on a dildo wasn’t a profoundly erotic experience.

      • EvilSheldon

        Depends on where the dildo has been…

      • Not Adahn

        Please, anything that earnestly self-righteous could only have involved something properly cleaned and disinfected.

    • invisible finger

      The beating of expectations will continue until morale improves.

  23. The Late P Brooks

    Cocky Pranksters would be a good fraternity league flag football team.

    • rhywun

      Holy shit. That one video with “migrants” packed like sardines for blocks on blocks is unreal.

      • Scruffyy Nerfherder

        El Paso is in full-blown crisis mode now. They’re very close to riots.

  24. Fatty Bolger

    Happy fake Mexican holiday, everybody.

    • AlexinCT

      Ora’le Vato!

  25. The Late P Brooks

    the BLS reported a record 12th consecutive month of payrolls beating expectations…

    Managing expectations is the name of the game.

    • Scruffyy Nerfherder

      The money quote:

      And speaking of previous prints, the March number was unexpectedly revised sharply lower, from a consensus-beating 236K (exp. was 230K) to a huge miss at 165K, a number which surely would have impacted the Fed’s thinking and potentially put a premature end to the rate hikes. But wait there’s more, because February was also revised lower by 78K, from +326,000 to +248,000, which would also have missed the whisper estimate. With these revisions, employment in February and March combined is 149,000 lower than previously reported. And then there was a downward revision in January too… Combined, this is how the downward revision looked:

      They’re pumping every month now and revising later when the media attention is off.

      • AlexinCT

        The people in charge have neither the incentive nor the ability to fix things. All they are doing is kicking the can down the road and managing perception. It’s all propaganda and social engineering, all the time. That leaves no time to actually do the work required by their jobs.

        We are doomed because we have put evil and stupid credentialled people in charge of things they have simply used to increase their wealth at everyone else’s expense.

      • Zwak , who will swing for the crime, in double time!

        Heh. Remember when they kept doing this during the 0bama reign? Every other week was a revision downwards on employment numbers.

        And they wonder why Trump was elected…

  26. Tundra

    Good morning, Old Man!

    Lawn dicks are always funny.

    Serbian gun control isn’t.

    I dig that song. Billy Preston or Nicky Hopkins on keyboard – anyone know?

  27. Rebel Scum

    Something something constitutional norms, something something depoliticize the court.

    Sen. Chris Van Hollen (D-Md.), the chairman of the Financial Services and General Government Appropriations Subcommittee, which oversees the court’s budget, says he is looking “at all the options.”

    Democrats who favor using the court’s funding as leverage in the brewing ethics battle say they’re well within their rights to use the annual appropriations bills to compel action by the justices.

    “There are court decisions that say very clearly that, in interbranch disputes, it is completely appropriate and proper for the legislative branch to use the power of the purse to influence the other branches in doing what they ought to be doing,” said Sen. Sheldon Whitehouse (D-R.I.), the chairman of the Federal Courts Judiciary Subcommittee.

    Democratic senators aren’t happy that Chief Justice John Roberts rebuffed their invitation to testify about Supreme Court ethics reform at Tuesday’s Senate Judiciary Committee hearing.

    • Scruffyy Nerfherder

      They really want Thomas gone before the next election.

    • R C Dean

      “it is completely appropriate and proper for the legislative branch to use the power of the purse to influence the other branches in doing what they ought to be doing”

      Now do the agencies.

      Of course, by any objective or even reasonable measure, Sotomayor taking millions from a publisher and not recusing when the publisher is a party is much worse.

  28. The Late P Brooks

    Politicians and lawmakers are demanding accountability after a 24-year-old New York City subway rider was seen on video putting a homeless man in a fatal chokehold.

    It’s not as if they’d be demanding accountability for rampant crime and social breakdown.

    • EvilSheldon

      Really it’s best just to not intervene, unless you are personally and directly involved.

  29. Sensei

    Dad had baked that underwhelming number into his calculations, with considerable fudge to account for the weight of four people and two dogs, with temperatures in the low 80s and speeds in the high 70s. I figured 200 miles would be plenty. But an unexpected errand meant we had to find charging en route.

    We might as well have been in Mongolia. Along more than 100 miles of interstate we found but one public fast-charging station, some 7 miles from the exit. Unfortunately, that unit’s display was damaged and I couldn’t get the app to work, leaving little doubt how the screen got busted.

    And that’s how we found ourselves hooked up to a weather-beaten Level 2 charger in the back of a Nissan dealership in Clinton, N.C., drizzling electrons at a rate of about 9 kW—so slowly that it couldn’t keep up with the air-conditioning. Tina, Rozie, Vivie and the two dogs were obliged to join me on a three-hour walking tour of rural North Carolina, which began at the dealership’s back door.

    2023 Genesis Electrified GV70: How Many More Miles to the Next Charger?

    Dan is a big proponent of EVs. It’s nice that he and others continue to push through bullshit about the lack of reliability of any charging network other than Tesla. Naturally our green overlords pretend this issue is resolved.

    • Gustave Lytton

      Nah, just need to dump a couple more billions into building out a network of electric gas stations.

      • juris imprudent

        Now admit it, plasma-powered vehicles would be cool.

      • invisible finger

        Blood-powered vehicles would be cool.

      • UnCivilServant

        Are you a game designer making a vampire faction?

      • Fatty Bolger

        Microfusion powered vehicles are the future.

      • Shirley Knott

        Acceleration is gonna be the bomb, man!

    • Drake

      You know what we already have a really reliable and well established infrastructure for? Gas-powered vehicles.

    • Not Adahn

      drizzling electrons at a rate of about 9 kW—so slowly that it couldn’t keep up with the air-conditioning.

      *checks breaker that my house’s AC is plugged into*

      *does math*

      *shrugs*

      • Sensei

        He is exaggerating, but he means that they didn’t want to stay in the car with AC running because it would likely reduce the charge rate by 20% or so.

      • Not Adahn

        I was willing to believe that Teslas had a staggeringly inefficient AC system.

      • R C Dean

        He wasn’t in a Tesla. He was in a Hyundai/Genesis.

  30. Scruffyy Nerfherder

    This chart is remarkable.

    https://twitter.com/TFL1728/status/1654448229289787394

    The corporate media is wholly in the hands of Davos/WEF/Biden. And their agenda is to make the banking “crisis” in the US seem bigger than it is, primarily to force Powell to pivot and save the ECB.

    Fuck the Eurocommies, Jerome. Crush them, drive them before you, listen to the lamentations of their women.

    • R C Dean

      “listen to the lamentations of their women”

      ‘Ang on there, mate. You got a biology degree for that?

      • juris imprudent

        I don’t think he was excluding trans-folk from those lamentations.

    • Zwak , who will swing for the crime, in double time!

      I will listen to the lamentations of more than a few Euro chicks, IYKWIMAITYD

  31. DEG

    Murderer, selected by Dems to serve on county prison board, now charged with stealing nearly $100K in COVID funds

    I tapped out at the picture of him in a face diaper.

    The ceremony will be star-studded, featuring performances from Lionel Richie, Katy Perry, and Andrea Bocelli.

    First Lady Jill Biden is also expected to attend./em>

    I wonder how much their jets polluted? Oh right, it’s different for folks like Charles and his friends.

    Cellphone video taken by passenger Juan Alberto Vazquez showed the 24-year-old man on the ground with his arm around Neely’s neck. Two other subway riders appear to help restrain Neely, who was Black.

    I watched the chokehold part of the video. My gut tells me Neely started the fight. Too many people calmly standing around. No one, not even the guy filming it, is yelling for the chokehold to end. And the video wasn’t 15 minutes long.

    Serbia’s president Aleksander Vucic expressed his condolences to the victims of the two attacks and pledged that the government will make urgent changes in weapon legislation.

    Of course.

    I skimmed an English translation of Serbia’s gun laws. They don’t look that bad… by European standards.

    I’ll skip Old Guy Music today.

    • Old Man With Candy

      I’ll skip Old Guy Music today.

      You’re counter-revolutionary. Kulak or wrecker.

      • R C Dean

        Could be a saboteur, too.

    • Grummun

      I’ll skip Old Guy Music today.

      I even clicked through to YouTube, thinking it might be some reverse-rick-roll tomfoolery. No such luck.

  32. prolefeed

    My daughter’s boyfriend, a healthy young man who is a weightlifter, just had a stroke and blood clots. He’s in the ICU. It’s been touch and go.

    My daughter, a medical resident who refused to let me attend her med school graduation because I refused to get vaccinated, specifically citing the risk of stroke and blood clots, blames the stroke on the weightlifting.

    I’ve been debating whether to propose an alternate possibility for the cause of the stroke and blood clots, or let it go.

    • Tundra

      You know the answer.

      I hope the kid is all right.

      • Nephilium

        ^This right here^

    • UnCivilServant

      Weightlifting in and of itself isn’t a clot risk beyond the blood pressure increases from exertion

      I admit he might have an undiagnosed brain aneurysm or other weak point in the blood vessels that failed due to spikes in blood pressure from exertion. But it is more probable that the clot shots did him in.

      • UnCivilServant

        *is not a stroke risk.

        blech, trying to comment while distracted makes for mistakes.

    • Scruffyy Nerfherder

      Ugh… sorry man, that sucks on multiple levels.

    • Certified Public Asshat

      She has to be considering the alternative, even if she won’t admit it right?

      • Scruffyy Nerfherder

        Med school appears to be beating the capability to dissent out of them pretty well.

      • prolefeed

        I don’t think the level of cognitive dissonance is high enough for her to even consider that those icky people who were and are “hesitant” about getting the jab might have been right.

      • R C Dean

        Yeah, you’ll never ever convince her it might have been the vax. Even if she wasn’t a resident, which, because she is, she will deprecate anything you, as a mere layman, might say. All downside, no upside.

      • waffles

        if my little sister who is a resident is any guide. no, there’s no chance you will convince her of anything. compassion is all you can offer. be well.

    • DEG

      Sorry. Hopefully he recovers.

      Weighlifting causing strokes. I remember reading about a big name powerlifter who had a stroke while lifting, but color me skeptical about your daughter’s boyfriend.

    • Fatty Bolger

      Let it go. Don’t even hint around it. It’s the last thing she needs to hear from you right now.

    • R.J.

      I lost my friend Philip to a clot / brain aneurysm. His family was very pro-shots, he was concerned about it and took the J&J, because it was only one shot. He died shortly after. I never brought up the shot with his family.
      Philip had to get a shot – otherwise he would get fired.

      • Nephilium

        Sorry man. The girlfriend had a friend who had to get the shot for work, and had a heart attack after getting his second shot (as in immediately, he had never even left the area where he got the shot). He had already had some issues after the first shot. He survived, and was then asking when he should get a booster…

      • Fatty Bolger

        Damn. How old was he?

      • Count Potato

        Sorry 🙁

    • waffles

      this is a terrible situation. I’m not sure you can reach her now. but man, that’s just something else.

  33. Count Potato

    “Transgender lifeguard applicant is rejected after exposing their breasts at pool in front of kids during tryouts in Florida

    During the course of the tryout, the female-born person, who identifies as male but has not had top surgery, exposed their breasts and did not attempt to cover themselves.

    Children were within 15 to 20 feet from the lifeguard training and the nudity was in ‘clear view,’ sources told Florida’s Voice.

    The incident happened in a group of 21 lifeguard trainees aged 15 and above.”

    https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-12049545/Transgender-applicant-Florida-lifeguard-job-rejected-exposing-breasts.html

    • Sean

      Free the ta-tas!

      • Timeloose

        Typically the ones being freed these days are not the ones you want to see. I was at a festival in Austin last year as saw plenty of “Trans/queer” bio women wearing electrical tape pasties and short shorts.

        These were young women with grand ma, oranges in panty hose breasts.

    • Not Adahn

      ‘Kids don’t sexualize breasts, it’s the adults that are making it out bigger than what it is,’ Sunsarae told Action News Jax.

      Liar.

      • Count Potato

        Well, little kids don’t, but over 15 sure do.

      • Certified Public Asshat

        over 15?

      • Count Potato

        “The incident happened in a group of 21 lifeguard trainees aged 15 and above.”

      • Certified Public Asshat

        Ah okay, well definitely yes then.

        The preceding sentence though: “Children were within 15 to 20 feet from the lifeguard.” There is that middle group of 10-15 who are aware.

      • Pine_Tree

        For boys, yes it’s about when they’re over 15.

        Trimesters.

    • juris imprudent

      Sen. Schumer will bare his moobs in solidarity!

    • PieInTheSky

      For a country who like huge tits, you Americans are weird about bared breasts

      • Muzzled Woodchipper

        Because most Americans also value modesty. I want to see my wife’s titties in a well fitting outfit, while I’m imagining what I’m going to do to those titties once we get home, not have her serve them up on a platter for the world to see.

    • Michael Malaise

      I do think we have a weird fetish about the human body that Europe doesn’t have.

      I’m so happy my children are older, though.

  34. Rebel Scum

    Sned them to Canada.

    Undocumented migrants in Chicago have begun spilling into the hallways of police precincts and are sleeping there, a new report says.

    Police sources in the city told Fox News it was due to Chicago’s “ridiculous sanctuary city policy.”

    “They clearly do not have a plan to deal with it and they’re placing the cops once again in undue risk,” an unnamed Chicago Police source said, according to Fox News.

    • UnCivilServant

      No, send them back to their countries of origin. If we’ve seen them more than once, drop them out the back of the plane.

      • Rebel Scum

        I don’t disagree. The real trick will be stopping the influx and rounding up any that you can in the US in order to deport them. I’m sure my solution to the former would not be well received.

    • R C Dean

      Ah, yes. What really matters is that cops are (somehow) at undue risk by being nearing illegals. Apparently they become dangerous only when inside a police station, or something.

    • Nephilium

      Just have them staff all the empty storefronts in Midway.

  35. The Late P Brooks

    We might as well have been in Mongolia. Along more than 100 miles of interstate we found but one public fast-charging station, some 7 miles from the exit. Unfortunately, that unit’s display was damaged and I couldn’t get the app to work, leaving little doubt how the screen got busted.

    All we need to do is bury a provision in an unread and unreadable omnibus spending bill which requires all gas stations in the country to provide charging units equal to the number of gas pumps. It’s simple, really.

    • Not Adahn

      Bucc’ees would need its own nuke plant.

    • Certified Public Asshat

      A judge set bond at $11,000 for Ralph, appointed a public defender to represent him, ordered him to have no contact with his accuser and scheduled the next hearing in the case for May 15.

      White privilege?

    • AlexinCT

      I was gonna do a joke about if consent was given, but this is just horrible.

  36. Certified Public Asshat

    A decade old Reddit post…

    Try to stay away from the Michael Jackson impersonator if you see him…

    Sometime in late Spring/early Summer I saw him in the train, his radio fucked up and he was angry as fuck, cursing and bad mouthing commuters screaming “What the fuck are you looking at? Dont fucking look at me!” Totally didn’t expect him to act as such.

    Ever since that day he’s just been a scary dude to me. He doesn’t dress up anymore. No more dancing…just asks for money. Occasionally shouting obscenities.

    • AlexinCT

      It matters not that this guy had a long rap sheet, just like with Floyd, because the usual suspects see that there is an opportunity to do a boogaloo and then do early Christmas shopping.

    • Not Adahn

      Kudos for the guy not deleting that.

    • trshmnstr the terrible

      I’m particularly over the idea that somebody who has experienced any form of victimization is now exempt from any standards of behavior or consequences. As if his behavior would have been less acceptable if his mom hadn’t been murdered a long time ago. 🙄🙄

      • juris imprudent

        Yeah, I don’t get where the people pushing this shit think it’s going to end, or how it could possibly end well.

      • UnCivilServant

        I’m past the point of assuming good intentions. I can only conclude that they are actively evil.

      • juris imprudent

        Fine. Even evil has to have some idea of what it wants and that usually isn’t chaos, because even evil can’t win in chaos.

      • Certified Public Asshat

        He was unhoused trashy. Story is completely different if he was living in a shitty NYC apartment.

      • Drake

        I had a heated conversation with my mother recently on that topic when talking about an in-law. My mother is still willing to forgive idiotic behavior of somebody in her 40’s because of a tough childhood. I’m of the opinion that those excuses have an expiration date that we are long past.

  37. Rebel Scum

    Til death do us part.

    Sen. Dianne Feinstein (D-Calif.) said in a statement Thursday she intends to return to the Senate from her prolonged medical absence but did not include an exact return date.

    Why it matters: Feinstein, who has missed dozens of Senate votes since she was diagnosed and hospitalized with shingles in February, has faced calls to resign from fellow Democrats.

    Democrats who have called on Feinstein, a member of the Senate Judiciary committee, to resign have argued that her absence has made it more difficult for the party to confirm additional judicial nominees to the federal judiciary, which in many cases are lifetime appointments.

    • juris imprudent

      Hamilton did want a Senate for life.

  38. The Late P Brooks

    The corporate media is wholly in the hands of Davos/WEF/Biden. And their agenda is to make the banking “crisis” in the US seem bigger than it is, primarily to force Powell to pivot and save the ECB.

    We have to raise the debt ceiling so we can borrow enough money to pay the interest on our debt.

    • Fourscore

      Just get another credit card and charge the interest. That one little secret…

    • Old Man With Candy

      I took your name in vain at a winery visit last week. I’m still pimping for someone to plant Feteasca Neagra here so we don’t have to rely on communist vampires for our supply.

      • PieInTheSky

        I had a pretty good one last night but it was kept like 14 months in oak and I was thinking: could use some tannin to give it structure. was weird I did not expect it

    • trshmnstr the terrible

      *considers starting a distasteful pun thread… shakes the idea off*

      • UnCivilServant

        We only do tasteful pun threads. I tremble with anticipation of what glibs come up with.

      • juris imprudent

        Look, it’s just all in your head.

      • Pope Jimbo

        I see what you are doing. Trying to pretend to take the high road, while the rest of us do the dirty work.

        You are sly like a Michael J Fox!

  39. Count Potato

    “Anheuser-Busch is ready to triple Bud Light’s marketing spending this summer and give its delivery drivers $500 bonus along with a free case of beer after CEO officially disavowed Dylan Mulvaney partnership”

    https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-12048997/Anheuser-Busch-triple-Bud-Lights-marketing-spending-summer.html

    “Transgender comedian who appeared in 2016 Bud Light commercial says company ‘was never genuine’ and used hot-button topics to make money

    In 2016, Harvie — a transgender man — appeared in an ad for Bud Light with Amy Schumer and Seth Rogen.

    The television spot said that Bud Light is not just for men and women but for ‘people of all genders,’ and noted ‘Gender identity — it’s really a spectrum, and we don’t need those labels.’

    Rogen then added: ‘Beer should have labels, not people.

    ‘We don’t care,’ he said at the end. ‘We’ll sell you a beer.'”

    https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-12048589/Trans-comedian-appeared-Bud-Light-commercial-says-company-used-Dylan-Mulvaney-make-money.html

    • AlexinCT

      Too late douchebags.

    • juris imprudent

      appeared in an ad for Bud Light with Amy Schumer and Seth Rogen.

      Well, that much stupid and non-funny and it’s no wonder nobody noticed him.

      • Count Potato

        Would they care if they did?

    • R C Dean

      “Beer should have labels, not people.”

      Which is weird, because the transers and other wokists are obsessed with slapping labels on everyone.

      • juris imprudent

        No label, no identity!

    • invisible finger

      Is it a free case of good beer?

      • Zwak , who will swing for the crime, in double time!

        Double IPA.

    • Michael Malaise

      “used hot-button topics to make money”

      Did it work?

    • B.P.

      I giggle at the notion that one dopey, overcredentialed snoot in the marketing department wasn’t sufficiently on-leash and cratered a large corporation. She’s probably laid wide awake in bed staring at the ceiling for two weeks.

      • Michael Malaise

        She can get a gig at a Disney easily.

  40. The Late P Brooks

    Sen. Dianne Feinstein (D-Calif.) said in a statement Thursday she intends to return to the Senate from her prolonged medical absence but did not include an exact return date.

    Like this?

    • AlexinCT

      No, she will be a hologram.

    • Fourscore

      Fetterman can be her interpreter

      • Zwak , who will swing for the crime, in double time!

        “FETERFEINSTEIN SMASH!!!!”

  41. Old Man With Candy

    Jesus, I *still* managed to fuck up one of the links.

  42. The Late P Brooks

    Let it go. Don’t even hint around it. It’s the last thing she needs to hear from you right now.

    Yes. There are things which can’t be unsaid, and it’s best not to say them.

  43. PieInTheSky

    These things only happen in the US. – Serbia does not count

    • juris imprudent

      Serbia must be one of states 51 through 57.

    • PieInTheSky

      Derbyshire sounds difficult to pronounce

      • Count Potato

        It’s pronounced like the two separate words, derby + shire.

      • WTF

        Dar Buh Shuh

      • robc

        Based on pronunciation of Worcestershire, it should be doosher.

  44. PieInTheSky

    The case against koalas

    https://www.spectator.co.uk/article/the-case-against-koalas/

    “I make this point to explain why, regardless of any environmental considerations, a partial shift towards electrification of cars may be a good thing. The internal combustion engine is a koala – a monovore. Oil or nothing. By contrast an electric car motor is like an external combustion engine. It is effectively omnivorous, able to run on whatever form of energy – from gas to solar to nuclear – that’s abundant or cheap. Early US steam locomotives switched from burning coal to wood as they headed west away from coalfields. Such flexibility is valuable in itself. EV batteries can also store surplus energy generated overnight.”

    Right and where do all the fabulous batteries come from?

    • R C Dean

      “It is effectively omnivorous, able to run on whatever form of energy – from gas to solar to nuclear – that’s abundant or cheap.”

      More like a fetus, that starves without an umbilical cord. I mean, if we’re doing stupid analogies.

    • rhywun

      If it’s such a good thing, it will win out without government force.

    • juris imprudent

      Sad, there was nobody that didn’t like her.

      • Scruffyy Nerfherder

        I think she was just trying to get baked.

    • Pope Jimbo

      What a crumby thing to say

    • The Gunslinger

      I guess the pills buried her.

      • juris imprudent

        Doh! Boy, I can’t believe you said that.

  45. The Late P Brooks

    Of course, by any objective or even reasonable measure, Sotomayor taking millions from a publisher and not recusing when the publisher is a party is much worse.

    Didn’t Kagan refuse to step away when issues she was directly involved in as a member of Obama’s administration came before the court?

    • juris imprudent

      I actually thought she did recuse, at least on one.

      • UnCivilServant

        “This one’s boring and there’s enough votes my way anyway.”

      • Fatty Bolger

        ^ Yep

      • R C Dean

        She might have, but she didn’t on the one that mattered – Obamacare.

      • Fatty Bolger

        I think the recusal stuff is dumb, anyway. There are only nine justices, they’re appointed for life, and there’s no requirement that they do it. Putting pressure on them to recuse themselves is no different or better than trying to put pressure on them in other ways.

      • Zwak , who will swing for the crime, in double time!

        You put pressure on the ones you can’t sway, the better to get a favorable outcome.

    • Nephilium

      That’s different, that was important, that was ObamaCare!

  46. The Late P Brooks

    Right and where do all the fabulous batteries come from?

    They come from the battery store. Stop being obtuse.

    • Pope Jimbo

      Radio Shack?

    • Count Potato

      It’s made by the same company that makes McDonald’s ice cream and Arizona voting machines.

    • UnCivilServant

      It’s not pure photography. Whatever remains of the original image has been edited to heck.

      Lets hope whatever reveal they’re teasing isn’t as rock stupid as recent corporate ad campaigns.

    • Pine_Tree

      That’s a good ad.

      The art’s good. The text (“wait”) is good and subtle. Lots of ads suck. Props to Guinness for nailing this one.

  47. The Late P Brooks

    I’m particularly over the idea that somebody who has experienced any form of victimization is now exempt from any standards of behavior or consequences. As if his behavior would have been less acceptable if his mom hadn’t been murdered a long time ago.

    Seriously. People who survived (in the truest, most literal sense of the word) the Bataan Fucking Death March came home and rebuilt their lives. Now, we have people who may or may not have been within earshot of a “tragedy” claiming irreparable psychic harm which relieves them of all civic or social responsibility.

  48. creech

    America collapses June 1st, apparently, if the debt ceiling isn’t lifted. According to columnist Steve Roberts, it will be the “Taliban 20s” fault. This coterie of “hard right wingers” is pushing a “weak and ambitious” Kevin McCarthy to do “dangerous and irresponsible” things to the economy. What are these horrible things? Roberts helpfully lists them: “imposing stringent work requirements on recipients of government aid and eviscerating Biden initiatives such as combating climate change and canceling student debt.” But Biden will bring us through, due to his many years “surviving confrontations” and “is right to believe that giving in on the debt ceiling now would set a terrible precedent.” Roberts is entitled to his opinions, but it is truly sad that more than half the American people agree with him.

    • rhywun

      “imposing stringent work requirements on recipients of government aid and eviscerating Biden initiatives such as combating climate change and canceling student debt.”

      *unzips*

      Oh, wait a minute, none of that is actually going to happen.

      *ruefully zips up*

    • The Other Kevin

      Nice propaganda, still trying to convince people that Biden is actually leading anything. He’s just reading off cheat sheets (that have pictures) while the unaccountable heads of agencies do all the things they’ve been dreaming about their whole careers.

    • juris imprudent

      Democrats lie about the devastation of Republican spending cuts.

      Republicans lie that they are cutting spending.

  49. KK the Porcine Pearl-Eater

    The Beatles and The Dead are the two most overrated bands in rock history. Fite me.

    • Fatty Bolger

      Half right.

      • Tundra

        This.

    • EvilSheldon

      I’ll disagree only in the sense that the Dead weren’t overrated. Everyone sober knew that they sucked.

      • UnCivilServant

        Now that attention has been drawn to them, I realize I can’t name a single song they did.

      • KK the Porcine Pearl-Eater

        Touch of Grey?

      • KK the Porcine Pearl-Eater

        I’m 99% sure you’ve heard that song

      • Certified Public Asshat

        I just pulled it up. I’ve never heard that song.

      • Shirley Knott

        That and Uncle John’s Band are the only 2 I know/like.

      • Gender Traitor

        There are a handful I know and like – those and a few others (especially “Ripple,”) but moreso as performed by a certain cover band of my acquaintance. 😉

      • rhywun

        Me neither.

        I got stoned with some deadhead chick in her dorm room once – that’s about the limit of my “knowledge” of them.

      • Tres Cool

        One morning, sitting at my desktop, I started “Fire On the Mountain/Sugar Magnolias Live” when I realized I was out of liquor and needed to make a run while I was still reasonably legal to drive. I took a shower, got dressed, drove to the liquor store, walked back in the house and it was……STILL PLAYING.
        The Dead in that version drug it out to like 45 minutes.

        I dont know how anyone stoned/high could cope with that.

      • juris imprudent

        Truckin’

      • Count Potato

        That’s just sad.

        They were a great band. It’s that their fans could be a bit much.

      • Fourscore

        The good bands were stoned and rolling

      • KK the Porcine Pearl-Eater

        ^^This

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        They had some good songs but, yeah, overrated.

      • juris imprudent

        ♪♫ High on cocaine, driving that train…

    • Nephilium

      Is there a newsletter that I can subscribe to?

    • AlexinCT

      Agreed.

    • creech

      The Beach Boys were the last great musical group. Little known trivia: the president of the Beach Boys Fan Club, for many decades was a libertarian activist named Alice Lillie.

      • juris imprudent

        Once they slipped the old man’s leash that is.

      • KK the Porcine Pearl-Eater

        You’ve just lit the Hyperbole signal

      • Ownbestenemy

        To be honest, saying hello lights that signal

      • Tres Cool

        Ask him about his Claussen’s pickles.

      • The Hyperbole

        They’ve been out for weeks, I’m down to one reserved jar. I’ve resorted to buying Grillos and they use far too much dill, It’s getting ugly.

      • Ownbestenemy

        I love me some Grillos

      • Sean

        I haven’t seen Bubbies pickles in a long time. 🙁

      • Not Adahn

        I disagree.

      • The Hyperbole

        This may be the most wrong musical take I’ve ever heard, And I heard someone once get really mad that Aretha Franklin was in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame and another time some idiot suggested that the Eagles were better without Joe Walsh. So congratulations creech you’ve made the top three at least.

      • Count Potato

        OMWC thinks Jethro Tull were better than Black Sabbath.

      • robc

        That isnt even and opinion, it is fact.

      • Shirley Knott

        True dat. Tull excels.

      • Count Potato

        I can’t even.

      • Shirley Knott

        Obviously ;-\

      • creech

        “Get off my cloud, Hyperbole.”

      • Raven Nation

        Semi-related: finally got around to watching The Wrecking Crew a couple of weeks back. Highly recommended.

    • DEG

      The Dead’s early Americana work was good.

      Later, not so much.

      I agree about The Beatles.

    • robc

      I said previously that it is quite possible that The Beatles are the greatest rock band in history (not to me, but I can acknowledge the possibility) and still be the most overrated in history.

      • kinnath

        And, my long reply generated an Internal Server Error.

        fuck it.

    • Zwak , who will swing for the crime, in double time!

      YOU ARE CORRECT, OH GREAT ONE!

    • rhywun

      Perd Hapley

      LOL I immediately thought “Kammie” before I clicked the link.

    • Tundra

      Your AI Czar, ladies and gentlemen.

      • Gender Traitor

        Artificial Intelligence vs. Genuine Stupidity – which will prevail?

      • Drake

        She must be done fixing the border.
        What’s the worst that could happen?

      • Not Adahn

        Nah, she’ll put AI in charge of the border. Genius really.

      • Zwak , who will swing for the crime, in double time!

        Artificial, or Roker?

    • Ownbestenemy

      I only ask myself…why are they pushing hard to conflate the two..small businesses and entrepreneur, because they are not necessarily the same, but they are trying to build a narrative that they are exactly the same.

  50. Tres Cool

    whaddup doh’

    “…he has a remarkable ability to evade the First Law of Thermodynamics by producing more fart gas that he takes in solid and liquid matter. ”

    I dont know the machinations of metabolism, but seems there has to be a mass-balance that can be calculated.

    • Zwak , who will swing for the crime, in double time!

      You are gonna need to whip out the old steam table, and double check you PSIG for this.

  51. PieInTheSky

    I do think that taking a life over a plant is foolish, how fucking stupid do you have to be to not know the rules and the punishment in Singapore?

    So, I do not approve of them executing him for having weed. But, I do approve of them executing him for being that stupid.

    https://twitter.com/marcorandazza/status/1654195589960159242

    meh. seems barbaric.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      It is, even for convicted killers. The people applauding that sentence or dismissing it offhand without realizing the implications are just as stupid as the smuggler though.

    • rhywun

      Yup. That is one place I will never, ever visit.

      • PieInTheSky

        been there in 2012. the wine is very expensive. but the mall foodcourt has fantastic food.

    • Nephilium

      Don’t fuck around in foreign countries is a pretty good rule to follow.

  52. Rebel Scum

    Transurrection.

    Protesters flooded the office of Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis at the state Capitol on Wednesday after the Republican legislature passed sweeping education bills that Democrats have decried as racist and transphobic.

    Police made at least a dozen arrests as the protesters planted themselves inside DeSantis’ office. DeSantis was not at the Capitol at the time, though bemused staffers could be seen behind a walled desk. Dozens of protesters locked arms, sat on the carpet, and refused to comply with police officers’ warnings that they must vacate the area within 20 minutes.

    Police issued the warning at roughly 7 p.m., and began making arrests around 7:30.

    Those arrested face trespassing charges and a one-year ban from the Capitol grounds, according to the Miami Herald.

    • juris imprudent

      The beauty of it is, they do this while simultaneously denouncing the Jan 6th people.

      IT’S DIFFERENT WHEN WE DO IT may be your rallying cry, but to me, that’s target identification.

    • rhywun

      Maybe move somewhere less racisty and transphobiaey – that is how this works.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        That won’t suffice for them I’m afraid, they’re condemning lesbians who don’t want to suck “female” penises at this point-simple tolerance ain’t gonna cut it.

    • WTF

      …Republican legislature passed sweeping education bills that Democrats have falsely decried as racist and transphobic.

      Odd how these editorial tidbits never get inserted into Dem talking points.

    • Tres Cool

      Sounds like a Kamala speech, kinda.

    • AlexinCT

      They must have lurned this from how the CCP does China’s economic reporting…

  53. robc

    I won my CO property tax appeal!!

    They tried to say it went up 28% between March 4, 2022 (when we closed) and June 30, 2022. The assessor agreed that was crazy.

    • UnCivilServant

      Let me guess, the assessor said it went up 200%?

    • Ownbestenemy

      Small wins…now get back to work you free slave! Seriously, grats on the win.

    • PieInTheSky

      the state government really needed that money to help sick orphans.

    • Count Potato

      Congrats!

    • juris imprudent

      Co-worker won his appeal. Turns out it was a data entry error and they mistakenly added a zero on a linear foot input.

    • Tundra

      Great news!

      Until Polis and his clown show fuck it all up again.

    • Ownbestenemy

      Take a hit of acid without taking a hit of acid

    • Tres Cool

      What the hell is that soundtrack? An ocarina ? Pennywhistle?

      • Count Potato

        Synth/sampler. No one is setting up a real calliope in a studio.

      • UnCivilServant

        What? You wouldn’t bring a steam-powered instrument tuned to be heard from across an amusement park into a small, confined space?

      • Not Adahn

        When I was sixteen, I was moving gear for the symphony and someone decided to play a tympani solo inside the elevator.

        It might have been lodser than when the B1B took off at full afterburner in Whichita.

    • Rebel Scum

      I’m not sure what’s going on here.

  54. JaimeRoberto (carnitas/spicy salsa)

    Regarding the lawn, I thought it was King Charles, not King Richard.

  55. The Late P Brooks

    Repent- the End Times are upon us

    An unseasonably cold storm coated Southern California mountains with snow, dumped heavy rain elsewhere and spawned two small tornadoes Thursday as spring struggled to shake the grip of an exceptionally wet winter.

    More than 4 inches of new snow was reported on Mount Wilson, 15 miles northeast of downtown Los Angeles, the National Weather Service said.

    Winter weather advisories were posted for mountain ranges across three counties. Forecasters said the highest peaks could end up with 14 inches.

    Most of the storm moved through Southern California overnight. But the weather service issued a late-morning warning for winds up to 50 mph and hail as a thunderstorm moved through Los Angeles County.

    The weather service confirmed a “brief EF0 tornado” touched down Thursday morning near suburban Carson, and later said a second EF0 twister struck a few miles east of the first one in the Compton area. An EFO tornado is the lowest level on the Enhanced Fujita Scale, typically with winds between 65 mph and 85 mph.

    Pray for deliverance, climate deniers!

  56. PieInTheSky

    “I need to go to work…I’m going to be late.”

    A driver who has had enough attempts to take banners from Just Stop Oil protesters blocking a road.

    The police confronted the wrong person who is a law abiding citizen.

    https://twitter.com/ArchRose90/status/1650757974292307969

    • Scruffyy Nerfherder

      A visit to the protestors’ homes in the middle of the night would be justified.

      • R C Dean

        + 1 Molotov cocktail

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      The English speaking world is screwed.

  57. Rebel Scum

    I loathe this dishonest, crying cunte.

    Kinzinger said, “I mean, yeah, it’s a wake up call that you can’t do a number of things. Donald Trump lit the flame. The Proud Boys were the flame. You know, both things need to be prosecuted but if I’m in Donald Trump’s camp, I’m going to be a little worried about this, you know, for every reason you have heard so far on this.”

    He added, “I think you can see that with the Proud Boys, the Oath Keepers and the other groups that are out there, which is like, a failed coup is still a coup attempt, and you’re going to be held responsible. Again, Donald Trump’s camp should be a little worried about this. And for somebody that’s worked so hard on this, meaning the January 6th Committee, it’s good to see that justice is being served, but it’s not complete yet.”

    The only coup was the 2020 election.

    • The Other Kevin

      He keeps using that word, but I have yet to see how that would work.
      1. Occupy the capitol building
      2. ???
      3. Trump is now president

    • rhywun

      The Dems are going to go scorched-earth on anyone and anything in their way. Buckle up, it’s gonna be a bumpy ride.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      God, if Trump manages to win it’s going to be hilarious and probably more than a little bit scary.

      • Michael Malaise

        No Republican has a path to 270. Arizona, Pennsylvania and Michigan are for sure out.

  58. Tundra

    Meanwhile, in Sweden.

    Nice tackle.

    • slumbrew

      Even without the audio, you’d know it’s Sweden because there’s an allen-key lying on the ground

    • Ownbestenemy

      That leg sweep!

  59. Evan from Evansville

    Yo! First vacation in eight months.

    I need to clean my apartment. I don’t plan on doing anything else.

    I’m going to South Bend to see the Cubs High-A team play tomorrow.

    HUH. YO! Anyone gonna be around that area? N. Kevin? I may still be purposefully doing this vacation solo, but I am quite interested in meeting y’all.