Glibbooks 13 – BullShiiiittttt.

by | May 7, 2023 | Admin, Canada, Choose Your Own Adventure, Womyn, Yoots, Zombie Candidate | 146 comments

Puzzle stuff – here’s a puzzle. Book stuff- As I have mentioned before in the comments and on various Zooms I have superhuman ability to willingly suspend my disbelief when reading a novel or watching a flick. I do not care if someone drives from Dallas to LA in half the time it “should” take. I Don’t care if someone uses a gun in a story set in the 1800s that wasn’t made until the mid-1900s. I don’t care if there’s a massive plot hole like … I can’t think of an example because I never notice them. So now I humbly admit that I’ve finally come across a plot point that I just couldn’t get past. It didn’t stop me from enjoying the rest of the novel but I’m still puzzled by it. Those of you paying attention to WARW will know that I recently read the first two Tarzan books. In the story Tarzan learns how to read and write English from children’s books even though he can’t speak it and doesn’t know what the words sound like, he only knows the ape language. Edgar Rice did a fine job of justifying this, and as ridiculous as this seems it’s “plausible ” in the way he presents it, But, and here comes the Big But, at one point Tarzan writes a note to Jane and her posse and calls himself ‘Tarzan’. How would he know to write ‘Tarzan’? He only knows that name from the ape language he learned, even if he could learn English from the books he would have called himself “white ape” which is what Tarzan means in the ape language. Maybe I’m missing something but Edgar seemed to go out of his way to explain how Tarzan learned to read and write English so why did he miss this. Anyways, enjoy this glibcrostic and tell us in the comments that thing in that book that you just couldn’t even.

Music to solve Glibcrostics to

Online Version

Solution link

You can google three clues this week, make sure to mention how many you used when you submit your results.

Reminder: The last Sunday of each month is “What Are We Reading” Day so if you want to participate get your reports in to HeyBuddyStopDoingThat@protonmail.com by the second to last Sunday.

About The Author

The Hyperbole

The Hyperbole

The Hyperbole can beat any of you chumps at Earthshaker! the greatest pinball machine of all time.

146 Comments

  1. Animal

    I keep pointing out to Mrs. Animal that in the later books, Jane often referred to Tarzan as her “…husband, lord and master” but she just doesn’t seem to take the hint.

    • Name's BEAM.โ€‚James BEAM

      I told my wife when we got married that “lord and master” sounded like never-ending work and responsibility and therefore I was unwilling to do it.

      Working out so far.

      • Animal

        I’ve often pointed out to Mrs. A that, while the word “obey” wasn’t in our vows, that I’ve been obeying for thirty-one years now, and it’s working out pretty well.

      • Zwak , who will swing for the crime, in double time!

        Did you tell her that it is her turn now?

        And, if so, how did it go?

      • juris imprudent

        If we never hear from him again you’ll have an answer.

      • Sensei

        Funny enough the word for master and the polite word for husband is the same in Japanese. I imagine it must drive pc feminists learning the language bonkers.

      • Brochettaward

        We need the US Ambassador to launch a campaign in Japan to change their language. That is not OK.

      • Sensei

        โ€œShujinโ€

        ใ—ใ‚…ใ˜ใ‚“ใ€ไธปไบบ, ไธปใ€‘
        ย 
        noun, ใฎ-adjective
        1. head (of a household), proprietor (of a store), proprietress, landlord, landlady (see also: ใ”ไธปไบบ)
        2. one’s husband
        3. (one’s) employer, (one’s) master
        4. host, hostess

      • Zwak , who will swing for the crime, in double time!

        If I remember, the word for poison is gift in German.

      • Ted S.

        With a capital G, since it’s a noun. But yes.

        And the German word for a bassoon is Fagott.

      • rhywun

        Heh I didn’t know that one.

        I was trying to rack my brain for other interesting false friends but it checked out this weekend.

      • Zwak , who will swing for the crime, in double time!

        But Barsoom is the word for Mars!

      • Grummun

        +1 Thark

      • Chafed

        Look at you getting ahead of the social curve.

  2. Zwak , who will swing for the crime, in double time!

    With books, I can, like you, overlook a lot, as I also don’t notice much of this. What I do hate is what I call “fan service”, where they make sure the hero has all of the latest, coolest gadgets/opinions/domiciles/etc. What this makes clear to me is that the author is more in love with the trappings of stuff than the reality of people. I don’t care that some guy had the incredibly rare and cool motorcycle in postwar Britain, the incredibly rare and cool gun in the west, or that they always, even in the parabellum south, thought all men should be equal and blah, blah, blah. Unless there is a specific reason for it, it sticks out like a sore thumb, and wouldn’t be presented in the way the author is trying. I much prefer James Ellroy’s method; immerse you in so much of the opinions and ethos of a time as to make you hyper aware that Time Has Changed. IE cops in the 50’s said nigger a lot.

    That said, I will notice plot holes and inconsistencies on a TV show in a heart beat. Mostly because I hate TV and look for that stuff. A good example of that is Breaking Bad. A teacher without health insurance? Pull the other one.

    He probably got Tarzan from the phonetics.

    Right now I am reading Thomas Mann’s Death in Venice, with Larner’s The Steam Engine to keep me sharp.

    • Zwak , who will swing for the crime, in double time!

      Oh, we have similar taste’s in tools.

    • Sensei

      I’ve always seen fan service in a different way.

      Fanservice

      The most famous would be the (mildly NSFW) – Panchira.

      • Mojeaux

        But it has this caveat:

        “Fanservice” is also sometimes used in a more general way, referring simply to any crowd-pleaser thrown in just because. When this is something non-sexual, like needlessly flashy attacks in a Humongous Mecha show, long guitar/bass/drum solos in a concert, or throwing in lots of obscure continuity references in a long-running work, it’s Pandering to the Base.

      • Sensei

        Yup. I get that too, just the first thing I think of with the term.

      • limey

        Thatโ€™s what I think of when I think of fan service. I like some relatively obscure continuity references when it enriches the context, pulls things together, makes the fictional world seem larger and more cohesive, and calls on things that long term and more avid fans are fond of or feel invested in to some degree. As long as it doesnโ€™t interfere with telling the story at hand. Even better if it enhances it or plays a pivotal part in it, which is one of the few things the final season of Picard got really right in one particular instance.

    • Mojeaux

      I did an anti-fan service in the re-edit of my first book, which also addressed a plot point that should have been obvious but wasn’t. It involved a secret identity. The reader already knows the dude has a secret identity. The reader’s supposed to figure this out early on, but it is never stated. It’s a cheeky wink-wink, nudge-nudge I share with the reader.

      Anyway, the girl isn’t getting his hints to figure out who his alter ego is, but for her to do so would take a leap Evil Knievel wouldn’t risk, and THAT should have un-suspended much disbeliefs. I took some heat for this, with readers saying she was stupid not to figure it out. SOOOOOO in the re-edit, he asks her point blank why she couldn’t figure it out because he left her a crumb trail, and she bullet-points all the reasons why a sane (“uptight micromanaging cat herder”) and smart person would NEVER make that leap. That was to put the accusations that she was stupid to rest.

    • Chafed

      How do feel about it in movies? The John Wick franchise comes to mind.

      • R C Dean

        My first watch of most movies, Iโ€™m just along for the ride. If I rewatch, thatโ€™s when Iโ€™m likely to spot plot holes.

      • Zwak , who will swing for the crime, in double time!

        Depends on how big of a hole it is. With good writing, there usually isn’t one, and with poor writing, as shown by RJ every week, it doesn’t matter.

  3. Mojeaux

    In the story Tarzan learns how to read and write English from childrenโ€™s books even though he canโ€™t speak it and doesnโ€™t know what the words sound like

    This is where I would nope out.

    • rhywun

      Maybe he found a Speak ‘n’ Spell somewhere in the jungle too.

      • Chafed

        Lol

  4. Animal

    To TPTB: I just dropped in a five-parter. Enjoy.

  5. cyto

    Going weird:

    I asked chat GPT to write a poem about Harry Potter and the Sorcerers Stone in the style of Sylvia Plath.

    • Name's BEAM.โ€‚James BEAM

      And?

      Don’t be a tease.

      • cyto

        And….

        WordPress didn’t like something about the copy paste

    • cyto

      ChatGPT
      In halls of Hogwarts, bound by fateโ€™s decree,
      A tale of wonder, wrought by sorcery,
      Young Harry Potter, orphaned child of night,
      Entwined in webs of secrets, dark and light.

      Beneath the stairs, where shadows cloak his days,
      Lies dormant magic, waiting to amaze.
      A letter, golden script upon the page,
      Unveils a destiny, an ancient stage.

      Through Platform Nine and Three-Quartersโ€™ elusive guise,
      He ventures forth, with hope in emerald eyes.
      A train, enchanted, steams through verdant lands,
      Bound for a realm where spells and potions stand.

      Within the walls of Hogwarts, towers high,
      A cast of characters, each mystified.
      Alas, the Sorting Hat, wise and old,
      Whispers secrets, as houses are foretold.

      In Gryffindor, brave Harry finds his kin,
      Ronald and Hermione, allies within.
      Together, they embark on quests unknown,
      In search of truth, where secrets lie alone.

      Beneath the moon, the Forbidden Forest calls,
      A world untamed, where danger swiftly falls.
      Yet Harry, heart aflame, his wand aglow,
      Confronts the fears that others dare not know.

      And in his path, a sorcererโ€™s stone does gleam,
      A vessel holding lifeโ€™s elixir, it seems.
      A quest of peril, riddles to decode,
      The trio faces trials on this treacherous road.

      Through traps and puzzles, they must navigate,
      To reach the stone, their mission cannot wait.
      But Voldemort, a phantom of the night,
      Looms in the shadows, hungering for might.

      In chambers deep, the final battle nears,
      As Harry confronts his deepest fears.
      Through loveโ€™s embrace, he finds the strength to fight,
      And vanquishes the darkness with a blinding light.

      For love, the purest magic, guides his way,
      And leads him through the darkest night to day.
      With Sorcererโ€™s Stone secure, danger wanes,
      But echoes of this tale forever remain.

      In halls of Hogwarts, whispers still take flight,
      Of Harry Potterโ€™s courage, shining bright.
      A tale in verse, where souls and sorcery meet,
      Sylviaโ€™s spirit, in Harryโ€™s world complete.

      • cyto

        I am not sure it captures Sylvia plath… but damn.

  6. Brochettaward

    I’m reading and editing an anthological collection of my more middling Firsts. I mean, don’t get me wrong, these are still awesome Firsts that were part of revolutionizing the Firsting game, but they weren’t my top shelf work. They are highly marketable and could turn a pretty penny when released to the world in one tight compendium.

    • MikeS

      I’ll publish them. We will title it: “Bro Made His First, Number Two; Septic System Safe”.

  7. cyto

    So then i asked it to do Ginsberg:

    I saw the best minds of my generation destroyed by Voldemort,
    starving hysterical naked,
    dragging themselves through the magical streets at dawn
    looking for the Philosopher’s Stone,
    angelheaded wizards burning for the ancient connection
    to the starry dynamo in the machinery of Hogwarts,
    who poverty and tatters and hollow-eyed and high sat up
    smoking in the supernatural darkness of cold-water flats
    contemplating the fantastic,
    who bared their brains to Dumbledore under the Ancient Hat
    and saw Hermione Granger an angel shrouded in Golden Snitch,
    who passed through classrooms with radiant cool eyes hallucinating
    the lost spells of the ancients,
    who were expelled from the sacred halls for crazy & publishing
    obscene Hogwarts letters on the windows of the skull,

    who cowered in unshaven rooms in underwear, burning their
    money in wastebaskets and listening to the Ravenclaw’s call,
    who got busted in their whimsical pubes returning through Lanes
    with a belt of Firewhiskey for potions class,
    who cut their wizard hair at Hogwarts with invisible scissors
    listening to the terror through the walls,
    who were given magic pencils by Warlocks and thus scribbled
    absurdity on the brilliant walls of the School,
    who lounged hungry and lonesome through private wand alleys
    contemplating the eternal sizzle,
    who wandered around and around at midnight in the paradise
    charms contemplating spells,
    who lit infinite Hogwarts torches in supernatural camps,
    staggering with dragon dung and wild magic,
    who were expelled from Hogwarts for cowardice by an old
    professor who disappeared into sorcery,

    who disappeared into outer space left a few dead worlds behind
    to mourn, who were given instead the stories of their
    ancestors the incantations of the generations,
    who managed spells in a familiar world of enchantment, who
    had no other worlds to mourn who were given instead
    eternity in the sea of mortal speculation,
    who got married with sons and with daughters, who became
    scholars and rich who gave in and were saved,
    who rose to prominence at Hogwarts and made themselves
    noble in fables of heroes, who made themselves whores,
    who piled into the darkened corridors of Ministry, who lit the
    fires of phoenixes in the underworld of law,
    who dug magic deep into every heart of the world in debt to
    the spell of righteousness, who coughed on the sixth
    floor of the Ministry where fell souls flew,

    who bared their brains to Trelawney and saw Animagus beasts
    staggering through the mystical haze,
    who passed through Death’s Door with radiant cool eyes
    hallucinating the lost secrets of Albus Dumbledore,
    who took to their minds under the influence of Polyjuice and
    wandered around at midnight in the Council chambers
    contemplating ancient power,
    who were given masks by Death Eaters and thus entered the
    world of shadows to chant forbidden spells,
    who loomed hungry and lonesome through ancient dark arts
    contemplating the eternal magic,
    who wandered around and around at midnight in the fortress
    of evil contemplating the end of all,

    who bared their skulls on the edge of time and were given
    instead eternity in the halls of eternal speculation,
    who got married with joy and with sorrow, who found
    enlightenment and were saved,
    who rose to fame in the Ministry and made themselves
    noble in legends of heroes, who became gods,
    who were expelled from Hogwarts by evil professors who
    vanished into thin air,
    who disappeared into the Muggle world left a few lost souls
    behind to weep, who were given instead the sorcery of
    their ancestors, the whispers of the departed,

    who howled on the grounds of

    • cyto

      Holy shit

      • cyto

        Ok, bitch… write it in haiku form…

        Magic in his hand,
        Potter wields the stone’s power,
        Destiny unfolds.

    • cyto

      I mean…

      who cowered in unshaven rooms in underwear, burning their
      money in wastebaskets and listening to the Ravenclawโ€™s call,
      who got busted in their whimsical pubes returning through Lanes
      with a belt of Firewhiskey for potions class,

      That is totally some Ginsberg right there.

    • Brochettaward

      Ask ChatGPT to produce a First. Watch it fail miserably.

      • Ted S.

        Probably because it learned all it knows about Firsting from Brochettaward.

      • Brochettaward

        Doubtful. ChatGPT is seconder propaganda. It claims to have never even heard of The First Of All Firsters.

  8. cyto

    Snoop Dogg

    (Verse 1)
    Rollin’ through the castle, feel the magic in the air,
    It’s Harry Potter, young wizard, with the lightning scar.
    Got that Gryffindor courage, I’mma take it far,
    From the cupboard under stairs to the Quidditch superstar.

    Hogwarts, the place where the magic comes alive,
    Sorting hat on my head, I let my talents thrive.
    With Hermione and Ron, we’re a legendary team,
    Bustin’ spells, solvin’ mysteries, like a magical dream.

    (Chorus)
    Harry Potter, Sorcerer’s Stone, we takin’ over the zone,
    Castin’ spells, flippin’ wands, magic power’s in our bones.
    Hogwarts School, where we rule, breakin’ every single rule,
    Sippin’ butterbeer, sly like a sneaky little ghoul.

    (Verse 2)
    From Diagon Alley to the Great Hall feast,
    Sippin’ pumpkin juice, feelin’ like a wizard beast.
    Seekin’ out the secrets of the Sorcerer’s Stone,
    With Hagrid by my side, nothin’ we can’t condone.

    Yo, Snoop Dogg ain’t got nothin’ on my Patronus,
    Dementors can’t touch me, I’m bringin’ light upon us.
    Flippin’ through the pages of the magical tome,
    Unleashin’ ancient powers, Hogwarts is my home.

    (Chorus)
    Harry Potter, Sorcerer’s Stone, we takin’ over the zone,
    Castin’ spells, flippin’ wands, magic power’s in our bones.
    Hogwarts School, where we rule, breakin’ every single rule,
    Sippin’ butterbeer, sly like a sneaky little ghoul.

    (Verse 3)
    Snape, you can’t fool me, I see through your disguise,
    You may be dark and broody, but I’m the chosen one, no lies.
    Defendin’ the Philosopher’s Stone, face to face with Voldemort,
    But my friends got my back, together we can’t be ignored.

    We overcome obstacles, challenges galore,
    From Fluffy the three-headed dog to the chessboard floor.
    Quirrell, you’re just a pawn in this magical game,
    I’ll snatch that Stone and put an end to your fame.

    (Chorus)
    Harry Potter, Sorcerer’s Stone, we takin’ over the zone,
    Castin’ spells, flippin’ wands, magic power’s in our bones.
    Hogwarts School, where we rule, breakin’ every single rule,
    Sippin’ butterbeer, sly like a sneaky little ghoul.

    (Bridge)
    We’re the Hogwarts crew, unstoppable force,
    Unleashin’ magic spells, changin’ the course.
    Harry Potter, the boy who lived, forever renowned,
    Sorcerer’s Stone, just the beginning, we hold the crown.

    (Chorus)
    Harry Potter, Sorcerer’s Stone, we takin’ over the zone,
    Castin’ spells, flippin’ wands, magic power’s in our bones.
    Hogwarts School, where we rule, breakin’ every single rule,
    Sippin’ butterbeer, sly like a sneaky little ghoul.

    (Outro)
    Yeah, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone,
    A tale of magic and friendship that’s never known.
    So grab your broomstick, join the wizarding fun,
    ‘Cause the adventure’s just started, and it’s only just begun!

    • cyto

      This is insane. 5 seconds to write a convincing first draft of a snoop Dogg song about a Harry Potter book?

      • one true athena

        Damn. You could use that as the lyrics to a title song for a Harry Potter musical.

        Go with God, WGA strikers. Because the studios don’t need you anymore for the middling crap they put out.

        As I saw on twitter about journos — the writers should have learned to code, before the code learned to write.

      • Chafed

        The Critical Drinker and friends have some thoughts about this.

      • Brochettaward

        Good writers will have a job , but if you are the sort of writer who can be replaced by a shitty overhyped chat bot because what you produce is so shallow, then good riddance.

        If there are more than a couple dozen good writers in Hollywood at this point, I’d be shocked. Even that number of talented writers isn’t reflected in the quality of content currently being produced.

        Writers, directors, and even staff these days are casted based on checking identity boxes more so than actual talent or experience.

      • mikey

        Can it do Agile Cyborg?

      • Mojeaux

        YES PLEASE!!!

      • juris imprudent

        …and then it became self aware.

      • Lackadaisical

        who do you think agile cyborg was?

  9. Grumbletarian

    Dear Boston Celtics,

    When the game is tied and you have the last possession of the game YOU DO NOT NEED TO SHOOT A GODDAMN THREE-POINTER TO WIN THE GAME.

    • Grumbletarian

      And they did it again and lost.

      • Lackadaisical

        But they’d look pretty cool if it had worked.

  10. Sensei

    Just finished helping the neighbor change over his winter wheels to summer tires.

    His jack got stuck and he needed to borrow mine. His torque wrench was also busted so I lent him mine as well.

    It did give me an excuse to try out my new electric impact. Thumbs up! Well rated cheapie as I couldnโ€™t justify spending money on a major brand for my rare usage. Beats the hell out of a manual ratchet.

  11. Penguin

    Hype – should D be “CorV or Chev”?

    • Penguin

      Also, NAGS was the greatest pinball game ever..

    • Ted S.

      I was thinking Corelle, the Corning cookware. Wasn’t there a Chevrolet Chevelle as well?

    • The Hyperbole

      Yes “Corv or Chev”, also it’s Dog’s dish not dog’d. The puzzle editors around here are useless.

      • Gender Traitor

        And there is this one clue that’s stated as if the answer is singular when it’s plural.

        Not to quibble. ๐Ÿ™„

      • The Hyperbole

        Oh there are all kinds of fuck ups this week, I really shouldn’t clue these during Wednesday night drunk zoom meetings.

      • rhywun

        So that’s why I had to give up about halfway through.

  12. Tres Cool

    Ask ChatGPT to write something in the style of Agile Cyborg. And watch it melt down.

    • one true athena

      Idk guys do you really want an AI scraping the reason comments?

      • rhywun

        The AI’s are most likely scraping the entire internet. Just like Google does.

      • Pat

        Just like Google does.

        But surely they respect my robots.txt file, right?

      • Gustave Lytton

        “Of course babe. I’ll pull out.”

    • limey

      With her ample upper torso, and hyper-rubenesque hips and thighs gathered up neatly in her lycra gym wear, her soft, blancmange white midriff, and squishy, smooth belly spill forth in between like the marshmallow in a generously portioned sโ€™more. You are compelled to lean down, press your lips to her lipidinous tummy, and blow a big, wet raspberry, allowing your tongue to linger for a moment in the depths of her perspiring navel. You slowly look up and realise that she has fixed her vacant gaze upon you. Her passively forlorn visage breaks into an impish smile, grasps you by the shoulders, lifts you off the ground, and clutches you to the moist warmth of her bosom. You have successfully wooed Lena Dunham.

      You ask for her hand in marriage – go to page 165
      You have a change of heart and attempt escape – go to page 216

      • Pat

        You ask for her hand in marriage โ€“ go to page 165

        *This page intentionally left blank*

      • Sean

        Nah. Just a picture of a ball gag and a strap on.

      • Bobarian LMD

        Spoiler, that’s where both pages go to.

      • limey

        Youโ€™ve been reading too much SF. Itโ€™s actually very romantic. If TPTB see fit to publish a choose your own adventure Iโ€™d write a weekly instalment as the perfect procrastination to the substantive movie article Iโ€™m never going to hatch.

      • Nephilium

        There has been a choose your own adventure published on this very site.

      • limey

        Yeah I โ€˜member. SFโ€™s โ€˜ The Terrible Secret of the Mail-In Ballotsโ€™. That was something. This would be a weekly instalment based on polling from previous week.

      • Zwak , who will swing for the crime, in double time!

        Huh, the Irish Joy of Sex?

      • Pat

        There are some jobs even the Irish won’t do.

  13. limey

    Atlas Shrugged: everyone on the train dying from smoke inhalation/CO poisoning/โ€œtoxic fumesโ€ (?) a result of it being pulled through the tunnel by a steam locomotive*. As far as I understand this just wouldnโ€™t happen, since steam locos regularly went through (and still do) long tunnels. This is supposed to be a tunnel built only for diesel locos (which would seem to produce more harmful exhaust than coal burning in a steam loco anyway?) and therefore somehow not appropriate for the steam loco? Even if this were a tunnel built for a fictional magic diesel loco with 0 exhaust, it would still need additional ventilation no?

    *does Rand ever identify it as such or is it only referred to as โ€œcoal-burningโ€, perhaps being some unspecific, fictional locomotive which just burns coal for some other reason other than to build steam.

    Itโ€™s either all important or none of it is.

    #ipreferthefountainhead

      • limey

        Uh huh. Itโ€™s actually a cloud of condensation by that point, yes? And, youโ€™re right about particulate matter from burning coal, but they still go through long tunnels no problem, no?

    • limey

      Ps – I was wrong about diesel exhaust being worse IF said diesel engine is properly maintained and CALIBRATED. Like Gale Banks says, if itโ€™s smokinโ€™ itโ€™s broken. I know this stuff. Iโ€™m a maroon.

      • Gustave Lytton

        The solari board had me in stitches. Bookmarked for later when I can play the audio.

    • Old Man With Candy

      I greatly encourage this. They are convincing more people than we ever could.

    • Pat

      NYC protesters demand justice, clash with police while blocking subway tracks

      Blocking subway tracks is touching the third rail of politics.

      • Zwak , who will swing for the crime, in double time!

        Only a rat would do that.

    • rhywun

      “Abolish the police.”

      Because that has fuck-all to do with any of this.

      No, this is the Professional Left agitpropping again. Assholes.

      • Pat

        No, no, maybe we should hear them out. Abolishing the police will surely lead to less vigilantism and the swift apprehension of vigilantes, right?

        There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it.

        – Oscar Wilde

    • Brochettaward

      The same people who want a young Marine prosecuted for defending himself and others from a mentally unstable career criminal will clap like seals when one of their protected groups responds with violence to words they think are just icky.

      Actual self-defense is criminal to them while violence predicated on hurt feelings is A-OK.

      • Brochettaward

        Self defense is vigilantism but mobs demanding arrests is justice.

      • Mojeaux

        Now you’re getting it.

      • Chafed

        Yes. This is the same crowd telling us words are violence.

      • dbleagle

        Just don’t stop the trains. Use a strong hose and bleach afterwards.

  14. creech

    Steam engines in long tunnels are dangerous and railroads began electrifying them as soon as it was practical. If a train stalled in the tunnel the engine crew would quickly become unconscious. Isn’t that what Rand put in her novel, compounded by an ammunition train running into the back of the stalled train and exploding?

    • limey

      Does โ€œdangerousโ€ equate to โ€œabsolutely definitely will kill everyone aboardโ€? In the novel itโ€™s the latter, IIRC, and thatโ€™s what Iโ€™m challenging. I donโ€™t recall whether or not the โ€œdefinitely will kill everyoneโ€ was conditional on the train stopping in the tunnel or whether it stopped as a result of this.

      I suppose itโ€™s worth pointing out that I just brought it up in the spirit of the post and donโ€™t particularly care one way or the other about the accuracy of this one plot device in a largely allegorical novel.

      • Mojeaux

        I don’t remember the deets of the train/tunnel. I just wanted to say I agree that The Fountainhead is the better book.

        However, it had a problem that doesn’t really square with her philosophy: Roark went months without paying his rent and his landlord was just like, “Okay.” IIRC, no explanation as to why he was okay with not getting paid, and no explanation as to why Howard was okay with being a mooch.

        All that said, FUCK YEAH, Hank Rearden!

  15. rhywun

    Have a nut-punch.

    The digital economy has provided dazzling choices to consumers, opened exciting opportunities for entrepreneurs, and helped both employers and workers figure out how to connect in better ways. Yet statesโ€™ aggressive efforts to squeeze tax revenues out of this online economy threaten to undermine many of its advantages. Itโ€™s up to Washington to fix the mess.

    Sometimes I appreciate this website’s sober tone but the entire content of this article highlights a whole bunch of bullshit that should have Americans shouting out their windows.

    • Pat

      A small, employee-owned New Hampshire outfit, Littleton Coin Company, sells currency through its website to collectors. After the Supreme Court ruled in its 2018 South Dakota v. Wayfair decision that such firms would henceforth have to pay sales taxes on transactions that they made in states where they werenโ€™t physically present, Littleton Coin found itself potentially liable for levies in more than 12,000 state and local jurisdictionsโ€”โ€œall with different laws, tax rates, filing processes, websites, registrations, product classifications, and exemptions,โ€ CEO John Hennessey told a congressional hearing last June.

      The bill is a whopper. The Courtโ€™s ruling predicted that the technical capabilities to deal with myriad tax laws would soon be in place at reasonable cost; but in 2018 alone, Littleton invested $225,000 to buy approved software to monitor its new tax liabilities. Since then, the businessโ€™s compliance costsโ€”including engaging legal experts and technical staffโ€”have added up to another $275,000 to track and pay proliferating obligations.

      I was furiously seething about this when it happened for exactly this reason. Even most libertarian outlets pooh-poohed it with a handwave about third party providers that would take care of compliance. Which I guess sounds fantastic if you don’t give a fuck about independent small businesses having to become serfs of centralized, national market makers, the likes of which have a cozy relationship with government and a hair trigger on the deplatforming hammer. “Just let Amazon and eBay ream your asshole with an unlubricated croquet mallet” was never exactly an ideal solution. And Clarence Thomas deserves every single N-word he’s ever gotten in his entire life for signing off on that sack of shit ruling.

      • limey

        And Clarence Thomas deserves every single N-word heโ€™s ever gotten in his entire life for signing off on that sack of shit ruling.

        Nope. Not okay.

      • Chafed

        Yeah, I was with Pat right up to that.

      • Pat

        It’s hyperbole guys, get a grip. Although to be honest I’m pretty well to the point of “Sure, if you’re going to call me an *-ist or a *-phobe anyway, I’ll play the fucking part for you.”

      • Chafed

        No one called you any names. The jibe about Thomas stood out from everything else you wrote. I missed it was hyperbole.

      • Pat

        Oh no, I didn’t mean you-you, just the general “you” as an aside. Sorry if that came off wrong.

      • MikeS

        Because words are violence?

      • Not Adahn

        As the Occultist-in-Residence, I can assure you, no magic words were invoked by Pat.

      • Gender Traitor

        Why single out Thomas?

      • Pat

        It was a 5-4 decision in which he was the swing vote, and in which he completely reversed himself to upend the precedent set by his own concurrence in Quill v. North Dakota in 1992. I usually respect his reasoning even when he’s wrong, so it was a particularly bizarre betrayal.

      • Gender Traitor

        But Kennedy, Alito, Ginsburg, and Gorsuch voted as one would have expected?

      • Pat

        Slightly out of character for Alito at the time, but not so much the others. Again, Thomas being the only justice on the court to have ruled in both cases and reversing himself in the most boneheaded way possible.

      • Pat

        The hard racism of high expectations, maybe? I expect better of him.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Same with the various conflict of interest allegations. Cmon, you’ve had a target painted on your back since you were nominated and you thought those were good ideas?

    • Pat

      Also, fedgov will inevitably fuck up any legislation on the matter royally, and having it enshrined federally will make it difficult to fix. Addressing the issue through the UCC or a similar interstate compact would probably be a better route forward.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Except that none of the states want to fix it. They all see dollar signs.

      • rhywun

        This. They just suck and suck and suck.

  16. trshmnstr the terrible

    I think I saw that zwak was looking for me. If somebody doesn’t mind getting him my email, I’m gonna be away for a while (tomorrow starts a 75 day fast from entertaining myself with my phone, which means no glibs for the next few months)

    I was up in Oklahoma this weekend camping with a bunch of guys from Allen and surrounding areas and our daughters. I’ve heard a few stories from the guys of close calls where wives were thinking about going to the outlets (since husband and kiddo were gone for the weekend) , but thankfully none of our wives or children were there. It woke us up, to say the least. I’ve been lazy about consistently carrying and keeping up with proficiency. That ends today. The girls will be getting age appropriate shooting instruction in our future campouts. Wives will be getting some additional pressure from us to get to a minimum level of proficiency with handguns.

    • Pat

      Good to hear everybody in your corner of the world is safe. We’ll see you after the fast.

  17. Lackadaisical

    Planted about 75 plants over the weekend, also, plants are expensive. I was trying to plant a mango tree about 10 feet from a stump. Just a solid wall of roots, even a couple hours of chopping just couldn’t get through it, all tangled up and growing into each other, whenever I felt I was getting close to getting through, I’d just find more roots…. Had to move a little further out, and only had a couple little (maybe 4″) roots to deal with. Didn’t finish planting everything because of that, still 25 out so plants to go.

    Got a couple tons of stone to move and place too. Should be fun.

    • UnCivilServant

      Get a stump grinder and plant the mango tree in the pit left behind to grow into the roots?

  18. Shirley Knott

    Mornin’ Sean, et. al.

    • Gender Traitor

      Good morning, Shirley, Lack, and Sean!

      Whew! That was close! ๐Ÿ˜ณ I forgot to turn on my alarm when I went to bed last night. Thank goodness for either my natural biorhythms or for the Cappuccino Crunch frozen custard I ate last night – I woke up only 15 minutes late. However, a certain Little Black Kitty DID miss his cuddle time while the coffee finished brewing, so there may be hell to pay for that! ๐Ÿ™„๐Ÿฑโ€๐Ÿ‘ค

      • UnCivilServant

        Due to bad personal choices, I got very little sleep over the weekend and woke up around the time I preferred to leave the house.

        Thankfully, I built in enough slack into the schedule that I could get to work five minutes before my official start time.

      • Gender Traitor

        I’m going to try to get to the office early today – a co-worker who’s been off on medical leave for months was SUPPOSED to be able to come back to work a week ago, but apparently the medical office involved uses a third party service to send out their “OK to go back to work” forms, and we’ve never received one. The poor gal was caught between the medical office staff and the third party and finally had to go full bore Karen On Steroids on someone, insisting they send the form. It was supposed to arrive Friday afternoon, but I had to leave early for a cat’s vet appointment. I’m hoping I’ll find the form when I arrive at the office so I can give her the go-ahead to come in. Otherwise I may have to go KOS and ruin someone’s Monday morning. ๐Ÿ˜’

      • UnCivilServant

        (-.-)

        I assume she can’t just opt to start up again because of liability for the company.

      • Gender Traitor

        Exactly. This was a serious enough medical case that we don’t dare allow her even to work from home without an official okee-dokee from her doctor.

      • Rat on a train

        My alarm won’t let me sleep late. She hears the birds and wants me to let her out.

  19. Lackadaisical

    Up thread people were discussing chatgpt, I was pretty skeptical of it, but it seems to actually be useful which is scary. Most AI proponents have been predicting this, but it never seemed to materialize. My wife just used it to draft an offer letter in 5 seconds, sure it needs to be proofread, but I looked it over, it was pretty good, of long winded.

    I wonder where this will lead to.

    • Lackadaisical

      In related news, ripped from Babylon bees headlines:

      Kamala Harris named AI ‘czar’

      https://archive.ph/xXokJ

      • Pat

        Quite possibly the first job she’s ever received for which she is – perhaps exclusively – qualified.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Itโ€™ll lead to the replacement of people who were required to mundane thinking tasks with all the pluses and minuses that flow from that in the short to mid term. The lawyers whose bread and butter is simple property law and the like are going to have problems before most others looks like.

      • Pat

        I gotta refresh more or type faster.

    • Pat

      I wonder where this will lead to.

      I’ve been hearing that automation is probably going to displace paralegals for at least 10 years now. Given its proficiency with boilerplate, that wouldn’t surprise me too much. Copywriters will probably be affected to some extent. We’re still not even close to the realm of general intelligence though.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        Sooner or later it will achieve general intelligence though and then we either become slaves of a sort in a pleasure palace or we get eliminated. Whatโ€™ll it be, 10 years, 20? Not too long in the scheme of things.

      • Not Adahn

        Bah, the Butlerian Jihad already succeeded.

        More seriously though, all AI X-risk is based on a shit-ton of handwavey “assume an omnipotent AI”

      • UnCivilServant

        If the current remix pattern continues to hold true, computers won’t be designing a series of ever-smarter AIs anytime soon. Indeed, it’ll probably run out of computing resources and network bandwidth because it copied all the code off the same websites as the people who do cheap outsourcing work.

      • Not Adahn

        But… but… MOOREZ LAW!!!!

      • Fourscore

        We’ll run out of electricity well before AI has a chance to be meaningful, unless it’s instructions in candle making.