IFLA: The “Your Lucky Day” Edition of the Horoscope for the Week of May 14

by | May 14, 2023 | IFLA | 29 comments

Spoiler:  The day in question is the 17th.  Now you can go watch the dog videos.

For those of you still here, moments of transition are the most important points in time when talking about the more esoteric SCIENCE!s.  So even though MERCURY RETROGRADE just sucks overall, the day that it goes retrograde is the worst of the lot.  Conversely, the day it goes back to doing what it’s supposed to do is a lucky day.  And in this case, it happens to be the 17th.  But wait!   There’s more!  On that day, the Moon also comes into alignment with said direct-motioning Mercury, giving a bit of extra oomph to the luck pulse that’s emitted (for yetisyn, this is the equivalent vibratory emanation on the slack plane).

For Taurus, things get even better.  Not only do you get to mainline Mercury (As a chemist with an industrial hygiene background I do not recommend injecting mercury) but on that day Jupiter enters your house so you get even more luck.  The moon is close behind on the next day.

If you’re having an unauthorized or otherwise unpopular romantic relationship, Cancer says discretion is especially important this week.

Taurus: The Tower reversed – Because the stars are so good for you this week, the traditional reading of this card can’t possibly be correct. So let’s see, what does this look like? Hmmm. I’m going with… rocket? And the two people flying up are superheroes escorting it? Sounds like an exciting time, whatever it is.

Gemini: Knight of Wands –  Departure, absence, flight, emigration.

Cancer: Ace of Swords reversed – This is about the downside of using force: yanking the starter cord out of the mower, stripping screws, inciting a rebellion against you, that sort of thing. This is in stark contrast with Strength.

Leo: Strength – Al of the good things about being Strong with none of the downsides. That’s for Cancer to deal wiht.

Virgo: Queen of Coins – Opulence, generosity, magnificence, security, liberty. 

Libra: The Star – Loss, theft, privation, abandonment, hope and bright prospects

Scorpio: The World reversed – This is about a world being small and unchanging.

Sagittarius: The blank card –

Capricorn: The Hermit – Prudence, circumspection, treason, dissimulation, roguery, corruption. There is a reason this coot is living off by himself.

Aquarius: 5 of Swords – Degradation, destruction, revocation, infamy, dishonor, loss.

Pisces: The Moon – Hidden enemies, danger, calumny, darkness, terror, deception, occult forces, error. 

Aries: The High Priestess reversed – Passion, conceit, surface knowledge.

About The Author

Not Adahn

Not Adahn

Despite all my rage, I am still just an impeccably dressed rat.

29 Comments

  1. Sean

    Cancer: Ace of Swords reversed – This is about the downside of using force: yanking the starter cord out of the mower, stripping screws, inciting a rebellion against you, that sort of thing. This is in stark contrast with Strength.

    I want a do over.

    • Not Adahn

      I want to thank you for introducing me to Asher’s. Mom LOVED them. And as a bonus she’s decided never to send anyone Harry $ David’s again!

      • Sean

        😃

        You’re welcome.

    • The Gunslinger

      Yanking and screwing don’t sound so bad.

  2. The Bearded Hobbit

    There is a reason this coot is living off by himself.

    I need a reason?

  3. Ownbestenemy

    Sagittarius: The blank card –

    I’ll take it.

    • The Other Kevin

      Me too. There seem to be a lot of us centaurs around here.

  4. The Late P Brooks

    Sagittarius: The blank card –

    I want a refund.

  5. The Late P Brooks

    My, what big teeth you have, Grandma.

    • Not Adahn

      She has the most adorable fangs.

  6. Gender Traitor

    Scorpio: The World reversed – This is about a world being small…

    Must. Not. Post. Obvious. Music. Link…

      • Mojeaux

        Well played! I was tempted, oh so tempted to post GT’s vid.

      • Gender Traitor

        The beauty of it is…you don’t even need to. 😁

      • Mojeaux

        Speaking of music, have you seen this?

        I’m shook.

      • Tundra

        Will.

      • Mojeaux

        There’s gonna be a lot of twang/warbling on that “rock” album.

      • Tundra

        Don’t care. Love Dolly!

  7. DEG

    Al of the good things about being Strong with none of the downsides. That’s for Cancer to deal wiht.

    ?!?!?!

    None of the downsides? What bullshit is this?

  8. Rebel Scum

    Degradation, destruction, revocation, infamy, dishonor, loss.

    Should be a good week.

    • Zwak , who will swing for the crime, in double time!

      You and me both, brother.

    • DrOtto

      We’re all in this together?

  9. Mojeaux

    For Taurus, things get even better.  Not only do you get to mainline Mercury (As a chemist with an industrial hygiene background I do not recommend injecting mercury) but on that day Jupiter enters your house so you get even more luck.  The moon is close behind on the next day.

    Taurus: The Tower reversed – Because the stars are so good for you this week, the traditional reading of this card can’t possibly be correct. So let’s see, what does this look like? Hmmm. I’m going with… rocket? And the two people flying up are superheroes escorting it? Sounds like an exciting time, whatever it is.

    I’m having a very nice, boring day. This is to be desired.

  10. UnCivilServant

    (As a chemist with an industrial hygiene background I do not recommend injecting mercury

    Mercury was used as a rather effective treatment for mitigating the symptoms of Syphilis. Consult your doctor to see if Quicksilver is right for you.

  11. DrOtto

    I would only inject Mercury if it’s in fish cleaner.

  12. Tundra

    Now you can go watch the dog videos.

    It’s really why I’m here. On Earth.

    Leo: Strength – Al of the good things about being Strong with none of the downsides. That’s for Cancer to deal wiht.

    Fuck yes! I can use this.

  13. kinnath

    Pisces: The Moon – Hidden enemies, danger, calumny, darkness, terror, deception, occult forces, error.

    So, things are finally turning bright for me.

  14. kinnath

    During the early parts of the COVID lockdown, a couple of my friends from St Louis came up to spend the weekend.

    Our shelties were about 9 or 10 months old by then.

    We sat out on the back porch drinking wine all after noon.

    One of my friends said, “The dogs are so cute. I could sit all afternoon watching them play.” Brief pause. “I did just spend all afternoon watching them play.”