My 2nd oldest niece (now in her 20s) wants to be a they/them and called by some male name I can never remember, even though thems’ name could easily be turned into a boys name and I has called thems Orville since theys were a small child (because of our shared love of the Irish Rovers). I fully understand that theirs is a lesbian. That makes sense. Dudes are fucking ugly. Dicks are not attractive. I wholeheartedly support lesbians, given my internet viewing history. (Although, you know, as a Catholic it creeps me out to think of as ANYONE as a sexual
creature, including myself.)
Theys was partially raised by we’s and was indoctrinated into loving ‘boy’ things; like Transformers, Thundercats, Voltron and…wait, those aren’t really ‘boy’ things, they are just 80s things. Xe also enjoyed thems doing dance competitions and doing make-up and well, those aren’t ‘boy’ things. But, in middle school, I found they in them’s room crying because some boys in ustedes class said theys like ‘boy’ things. Middle school boys are cuntes. I gave xerxes the whole speech about it doesn’t matter what anyone thinks about what you like, if you like it then like it.
Things were fine for several years after that, until the mental illness from her father’s side started to creep in. Her father (who left before she was born) had a cousin (that I knew) who murdered THEN raped a woman. So when Xenophon started hearing voices, we kind of thought it was important Xerox found some mental help. Unfortunately, this was at the upswing in ‘gender dysphoria’ being the new gluten allergy. So Xena (who beside the mental health issues is on The Spectrum) was convinced by the ‘mental health expert’ that ALL of these problems stemmed from Xavier being trans.
My sister being the type that SO wished she could be special like the QUILTBAG to ‘stick it to them’ fully embraced this. So everything in their whole family has become about PRIDE. Rainbows fucking everywhere! She is so very proud of knowing her child’s sexual desires! But, on the DL, my sister has been trying to figure out how to stall the actual ‘transition’. I took this on myself a few years ago with xenon, just wait until you get all of your other mental issues handled until you start pumping hormones into your body. That worked for a few years, but then it raised up again. At this point xylophone still has OEM parts. (Thems has even watched the Hat and Hair and tried to be a Patron, to which I said that could ruin your future and get you put on a list, and you don’t need to give me money, I give you money, that’s how uncling works)
This brings me to today, in a very long winded way. The masterpiece of cinema Conan The Barbarian (written by the awesome John Milius) has a quote about what is best in life:
To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentations of their women.
For me what is best in life is to make memories with those I love. So when today my sister and her kids were headed into ‘The Local City’ and their car had issues I said I would drive them there. They were headed to a Pride event, which my sister sister said was ‘family friendly’. So I thought I would go and make some memories with the kids and do some first hand research.
This ‘family friendly’ Pride event was nothing more than some people standing in a parking lot watching some Drag Queens lip synch to the most stereotypical songs. Where are the Drag Kings? There was a food truck, which is mostly where I gravitated. There was also an ice cream truck that was a converted short bus, which conjured images of Danny The Street being a bus on Doom Patrol (nerd shit). Now, the Big One (as I now refer to xyster as it is descriptive and non-offensive) is in xylem 20s this all seems fine to me. Burlesque has included cross-dressing for a long time. But, my sister also had along her 13 and 10 year old kids. And they were asking for dollar bills, as if they had done this before. At least the performer only took the bills by hand, and didn’t require them stuffed in the down there.
I’m 40 and I only went to a strip club once and found it a disgusting experience, I think the outfits the kids wear for dance recitals and the songs they dance to are entirely inappropriate. I am a prude. I think anyone who has sex before marriage (in a Catholic ceremony) is a slut. I’m unmarried and thus have not had sex. I find this all distasteful. But no one takes my lack of sexual proclivities into account. As a matter of fact, no one has ever inquired about my sexual preferences. Am I being discriminated against?
I fully support The Big One in finding happiness, but I just can’t comprehend how ‘Pride’ does that. Much over, how having X-ray’s siblings participate in such can have any effect other than to try overtly affect their own preferences in the same way peer pressure does.
Pride comes from accomplishing things. Is who you want to have sex with an accomplishment? I know the wording came from ordinary folks saying they weren’t ashamed of who they are, but that isn’t really pride. I’m not proud my dick gets hard when I see Rachel Stevens, it’s just a thing that happens.
I’m rambling now, but I think the point is SUPPORT ME ON PATREON AND SMASH THAT LIKE BUTTON!
Xcelent – thanks.
Xcelite!
Hollow Shaft Nut Driver was the name of my last album.
I have been a gay man for 54 years and not once have I put on a dress*, lip-synced to Donna Summer, worn assless chaps while simulating sex with my partner, hawked for Dem votes, nor done any of the other typical “Pride” activities one sees at these affairs.
I want my money back.
*discounting one Halloween
Apparent!y you’ve been doing it all wrong.
Looking back at years past, it seems that there was always some dude (and as I think of it, it was always a dude) that came as a “half-man, half-woman”. Haven’t been to a Hallowe’en party in years, that costume is probably not popular anymore.
I remember about 20 years ago there were a few couple swap costumes akin to Revenge of the Nerds.
More recent than that, even (and on topic at that).
The suede / denim secret police will come instruct you. Stay put.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eIqESwzCGg4
Classic. But CWAA.
Another classic.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B3KBuQHHKx0&t=50s
Even I’ve worn the assless chaps and I’m straight.
sheesh…
Standard fare for bikers. Women in chaps? Hell, yes!
With nothing under them? In public? Do tell.
Halloween in Southern California plus lots of alcohol, self explanatory
“Even I’ve worn the assless chaps and I’m straight.”
We’re going to need some pics first.
All chaps are ass less.
I missed your comment, sorry.
Aren’t all chaps assless?
David Lee Roth is that you?
I guess technically so have I. Even if the chainsaw chaps were over regular clothing, right?
Are you sure you’re really gay?
I ended up at a Red Dress party once.
I did not wear a dress.
They dumped you, Rhy.
https://youtu.be/XVk_e31dnlE
I enjoyed this read. And I am watching similar things play out here with the kids around me. I hate it. Kids around 10 to 11 had their childhood stolen by lockdowns, then replaced by creepy sex stuff.
This is the weirdest mass hysteria I’ve ever witnessed. NONE of this shit belongs in schools. They’ve got parents believing that little Susie will off herself if we don’t let her cut her tits off.
It’s evil, and I don’t use that term lightly.
That’s exactly it. Every time I read about this stupidity I imagine the hetero equivalent and the age it’s being taught. Not once have I thought, yeah the public school should be teaching that now.
As a matter of fact, no one has ever inquired about my sexual preferences.
You are being oppressed by everyone’s indifference!!!
My middle kid who’s now 22 was “trans” in high school and a little after. She wanted very much to get on testosterone. We were asshole parents and said no. Her therapist talked to her about it but knew she had a lot of other issues so didn’t push it. Just last month that kid told me she was so tired of all the trans stuff. It’s everywhere and she’s over it. It is definitely a trend that should have run its course by now. But there’s money to be made and virtues to be signaled. It’s sad people are permanently altering their bodies because of this.
So glad to hear she dodged that bullet. Good on you and the missus. If she was the wrong someone else’s kid, she could be in a world of anguish right now.
Seconded in spades.
With apologies in advance to our inked comrades, it’s like how tattoos were then “in” thing for a while, permanent skin mutilation for a fad. My daughters all did it and two of them are now looking at tattoo removal.
Tattoos are still “in” from what I can tell.
Like hair gel, this fad looks to go the distance. I don’t see it going away any time soon.
Really? No one?
Fine. https://youtu.be/mbFx0CbaIlY
Obligatory.
I was expecting this: https://youtu.be/F_HoMkkRHv8
“Bowel shaking earthquakes of doubt and remorse” is one of the most awesome phrases I’ve ever heard uttered in song.
In slightly wierd things, my son and the bass player from Cakes son were best friends in grade school and junior high. His ex used to live down the street from me.
That’s super cool. Cake had great basslines.
‘Of all the songs with a melodica, deadpan vocals, and mariachi style trumpet flourishes, this has to be in the top five of all time.’
Hair gel is a lot easier to get rid of than tattoos.
Yeah but something sets me on edge with the hairstyles that haven’t changed in decades. I can’t figure that out.
Glad you (and she) got lucky on that count.
Her therapist saw gender dysphoria the same as an eating disorder. Yes that was lucky.
Based on our family’s experience with therapists, yes.
” We were asshole parents and said no. ”
Good for you! And her, of course.
+1 for asshole parents.
My mom was an asshole on several occasions and I am so thankful for it.
Parents saying no, can you imagine?
Great work TOK!
If gbob is hanging around, I might be interested in the camera.
Xenophobe!
Xylophone!
Wait…
Xenu Comin!
Xenamorph – I’m a delicate little alien flower!
Xenophobe is an awesome game.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F9uBXrNKm0Y
I pumped a lot of quarters into that back in the day.
1987? Yeah, completely unaware of any arcade games after 1985 or so. Including this one.
I loved that game. Two players, funny, difficult, entertaining gameplay, and great graphics.
Hurrdeedurr…I’m MikeS! Look how second I am!
I wonder if they have Firsting classes at Jelly Camp. If so, we’ll get you signed up, champ.
“I gave xerxes the whole speech”
THIS IS SPARTA!
Some them you just can’t reach…
I laughed, CPRM, does that make me a bad guy?. Your experiences are lived.
When I was 10 I wanted to be Willie Mays, I was lacking only the skills and skin color but other than that I could pass. My kids are the same age as some of you, late 50s-early 60s. They didn’t know they could be trans ’cause no one ever told them. My 3 grand daughters (late 20s-early 30s) are full blown female and happy with it. They’ll soon be starting their own families, I’m sure the boys will be boys, the girls will be girls.
Seeing the inner cities deteriorate it seems that all the nonsense is learned behavior, including trans. Getting more of what you reward…
I was lacking only the skills
I feel sorry for the kids now: the natural tensions are thrown away so that everyone is a winner, only, of course, everything sucks now
orange slices and participation trophies for everyone
autotune for hot girls who can’t sing
college credit for algebra
the designated hitter (I’ve written enough on this already)
what a shitty shitty sham it all is
“ When I was 10 I wanted to be Willie Mays,”
Me too. I was living in the Bay Area when the Giants came into town and it was a Big Deal – an elementary-school classmate was on the LIFE cover of the welcoming parade.
I damn near had my sternum broken trying to do a Mays basket catch.
“I’m 40 and I only went to a strip club once and found it a disgusting experience”
I worked at one.
Pole sanitizer?
Do you know who else sanitized Poles?
Oh bravo.
I’m going to hell for how hard I’m ALOLing at this. See you there.
I think hell is going to have a back room reserved for Glibs.
+ 1 (((me)))
* too tired for anything more than a golf clap *
sorry: you deserve more
Ohhh, sick burn! 🔥
🤭
Really, now it’s oven jokes?
Many years ago, TT worked for a sound & lighting company and got an assignment to go do a sound and/or lighting job at a strip club early in the day. They were open, with people on the stage and off trying to pretend they were having a good time. His take on that experience (with a half-hearted semi-apology to Q): “When you see two, you’ve seen them all.”
I have been to more than one strip club. With all due respect to TT and you, no you haven’t. I have seen masterpieces and Medusa’s first cousin.
Half of my nieces got the t-bug… I feel your pain sir.
Nice piece of writing.
Well done. Clever writing and brave personal admissions
Welcome back.
😮
The article is clearly Catholic bait.
You should see how much shame CPRM has about defecating and his disproportional mutant taint.
LOL. I was raised Catholic from 5 to 10 and despite, well, everything, I still have some affinity with that bunch.
From 5 to 10?
Those were the years my mom and her four sons shacked up with her Italian boyfriend.
I appreciate the linked ending, but don’t have the shame on that account.
Good to see you! Where the heck have you been, stranger?
Nice essay, CPRM. Mixed in with all the CPRM silliness was a lot of vulnerable honesty. Good job, little buddy.
I am a man of Reason. (drink!)
I think one thing lost in the Hunter deal, at least an aspect I haven’t seen anyone point out – Hunter supposedly threatened to fight the DOJ on the constitutionality of a gun law, embarrassing his father and upending the apple cart. And they played ball with him. This Supreme Court almost definitely does not take away the ability to restrict gun access based on drug use.
The entire story was weird as it wasn’t like anyone really thought the DOJ was seriously going after Hunter for anything. It was an attempt to lay the groundwork and say something is coming, and this ridiculous reason is why it’s going to be so lenient.
I guess next time the DOJ is after me, I’ll just threaten to take them to the Supreme Court where obviously I’ll be supported by my fellow right wing extremists in black.
Was it to try to show that the DOJ is totally non-partisan because they are going after both Trump and a Biden?
Strangely havn’t heard that argument at all.
We are leaving tomorrow for our road trip so I will post a reminder for the Dallas-area glibs.
We will be in Frisco on the 15th of July and would like to meet up with folks. Please co-ordinate with R.J. (thanks, dude!) for location and time.
Trying to decide how many bridges to burn today.
All typed up and ready to post to FB.
Old Steve Martin joke: How do you make a million dollars and pay no taxes? First, make a million dollars. Second, don’t pay your taxes.
Updated for modern times. First, make a million and a half. Second, don’t pay any taxes. Third, plead guilty to misdemeanor charges. Fourth, skip jail.
It was funnier in the old days.
The extra half million is for the Big Guy, yes?
Hunter was charged with making $1.5M in two separate years and not paying taxes. Thus, two misdemeanor charges.
The gun felony resulted in pre-trial diversion.
And yet Capone was given hard time for that.
I’m just shaking my head at the audacity. The chutzpah. They’re just rubbing our noses in it at this point.
They are rubbing our noses in it. It’s hard for me to look at their actions and come to any other conclusion. Th problem is the institutions and half the population are completely on their side so we have to accept it all no matter how ludicrous.
And that part is the main point, I suppose. It’s peacocking. Showing who really has the power in this country, and I can only laugh at those who think they’re going to let some election take it away from them ever again.
What pisses me off even more than having my nose rubbed in it – is all the fucking Dems I know that will eat this shit sandwich and claim it was delicious.
The IRS is too busy raiding gun shops to chase multi-million-dollar tax evasion.
this belonged with the Capone comment.
It works here too.
But those 80k IRS agents they want who will be looking at every bank transaction over $600 will definitely be going after the big fish!
Andy McCarthy agrees. https://www.nationalreview.com/corner/the-intentionally-provocative-hunter-biden-plea-deal/
I’m surprised NR lets him write there, I thought they were busy going to the mat for Biden so Trumphilter wouldn’t destroy the republic.
The halal market across the street was out of the Turkish orange pop I sometimes buy so I took a chance on this Algerian brand (“Slim”). Tasty but five bucks for 2L is a bit pricey. Or is it? Honestly it seems in line with inflation.
https://jarritos.com/flavor/
I like their pineapple and fruit punch. Their orange doesn’t match some of the other options available to me but I’ll buy it.
I hope you’re at least mixing it with vodka.
orange drank and vodka? Look who is rich,
Of course.
Completely agree. I hated dance recitals, because my hard earned money was paying for 2-4 sexualized costumes each for my 12 year old girls. The dance mom’s were fucking obnoxious (fortunately not my ex-wife) in egging this on. They would scream out “Go Kaylee!” as their children gyrated their hips.
I put my foot down when they thought they could were tights that said “juicy” across the ass out in public.
/also a prude
I am starting to doubt your commitment to Sparkle Motion!
LOL
I too am a bit of a prude.
I always thought Bush’s Baked Beans should have made their own line of those sweats/tight.
Bud Light could really use your services.
Right there with you Pistoff, every once in a while me and my wife will have a ‘glad we don’t have a girl right now’ convo*. because sexuality in, even preteen, girls is ramped to 11 right now.
it is fucking weird.
*Of course we would in reality be happy to have a girl, it is just a whole load of bullshit to wade through in society that is sending girls all kinds of wrong messages
in case you thought Texas was home of the free, the most cowboy libertarian state of them all
June 20 (Reuters) – Tesla (TSLA.O) scored a series of victories for its charging technology on Tuesday, capped by Texas saying it would require electric vehicle charging companies to include both Tesla’s standard as well as the nationally recognized CCS if they want to be part of a state program to electrify highways using federal dollars.
When sugar daddy comes knocking, they all get on their knees.
JFC
If you don’t immediately pack up and move to a flat earth concrete shithole with more freedom than actual freedom, and even that is transitory, you deserve everything you get, good and hard.
Not quite following you buddy, but I think I may have decoded it.
A little white pill to end the day
Most excellent. Still my favorite from Morgan.
Postmodern jukebox is awesome.
But I love the set up in the kitchen and that her voice is still awesome in a casual setting.
I’m unmarried and thus have not had sex.
I’m not one to
kinkprude-shame, but someone has to say it.Moeux alert… OMG I’m watching last week’s Hoarders and this chick is so mentally ill. And some creeper dude is there to “help” with some psychobabble crystals bullshit. It’s almost cruel but I can’t look away.
My seconding brother kept trying to get me to watch clips of some women who kept her shits in a jar.
By the door?
Isn’t that where you keep yours?
The Bro did not watch, so he couldn’t say.
Keeping your poop in a jar – Hayseed Dixie
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S8sgbPYaAnQ&ab_channel=HayseedDixie
I have not been able to watch the new season yet, except for the first episode, but my DVR is primed.
Modern Hollywood – where diversity is writing everything to appeal to 30-something affluent white liberal women and their insecurities. Star Wars? Indiana Jones? Let’s feminize these properties!
I made the mistake of starting ‘the mandibles’- then watching Netflix with my wife.
I realized there are zero, none, zilch, white main characters. There is a Jewish kid (who is pampered and rich) and a mixed kid, which is the closest it comes. And then they make sly remarks about whites in addition to it.
I know race relations aren’t great right now, but it is only going to get so much worse.
The writers seem to revel in taking shots at “white people” these days.
It’s like they’re high fiving each other every time they make a jab.
Trying to prove the existence of system racism by being the racists?
That Rachel Stevens video was disappointing and made me uncomfortable. Somehow, YouTube’s magic algorithm suggested this in the sidebar. https://youtu.be/jWFWazj7Ud8 It almost made up for it.
That’s what all the ladies say about me.
You’re selling yourself short. https://youtu.be/HnHDJWg0-cY
That was unexpected twerking.
Tip o’ the cap to HM: https://youtu.be/C6vinrXWxls
I’ll be in my bunk
I know what MikeS is doing. https://youtu.be/JpyVMzaBqzQ
Nice Carrot Top cameo.
The SP lead singer’s weird plastic surgery face creeps me out
I’m pretty sure it’s botox. Dumb move, IMO, but that’s life in LA.
You’re probably right. He’s starting to look like Rocky Dennis.
Wow that’s harsh. Here he is in one their most recent videos. I’m guessing he had a facelift. He looked the same when I saw SP in April.
https://youtu.be/HewOSY1XLLQ
Also, FYI, the priest is the bass player for Five Finger Death Punch.
Him and half the actors in the world (some parts of Europe may be the only exception)
That video is the first and only time twerking looked like a skill.
It genuinely looks like an athletic feat.
A looked at a recent video – she’s looking rather meth-y, sadly.
Wait. The dancer is a known person?
Sorta. ‘Lexy Pantera’. That’s her channel.
She’s making (horrible) musc videos now but a recent-ish twerk video came up. She’s not looking super healthy.
That butt looks fake.
Just back from hockey. I’m getting too old for this shit.
Reading this, CPRM, made me very grateful for the bullets I’ve dodged. Thanks for the honesty and a normal dude perspective
OK Danny Glover.
I’ll bet he would have played better than me tonight
I don’t know hockey’s rules. Do you score by supporting communist dictatorships?
She’s singing (through autotune)? In most of her videos she is on the right side of the hot/crazy divide. But I can see how it would go wrong.
https://youtu.be/BAZh61xsU0c
https://youtu.be/6EefPcht54c
And I Brooks’d it.
I like to imagine the guys from steel panther have a completely boring normal life at home.
Brother’s ex-boyfriend’s daughter was going through the trans bit (dunno if she still is). The crazy ex-wife (I’m not entirely sure she was actually crazy) was up in the rafters outraged over it because everyone around her was telling her to let the kid go trans and she’s all, “TREAT IT LIKE AN EATING DISORDER!!” Well, this left bro’s ex in a pickle because he also thought it was bullshit and should be treated like an eating disorder, putting him firmly in agreement with the crazy ex-wife. What a position to be in. Anyway, he decided to just kind of roll along quietly with the trans thing just because he “didn’t want to make her hate him.” I think it was because he hated agreeing with crazy ex-wife, but hell, at least two California gay men in the world ALSO think it’s all bullshit.
I do not know how this has turned out because, as previously noted, the boyfriend is an ex. Because he is also crazy. Which is why I’m not sure the ex-wife is the crazy one.
I’ve read this three times and I still don’t know who’s who.
But whoever thinks the trans thing is terrible I agree with
My brother, N
His ex-boyfriend, B
B’s crazy ex-wife, J
B&J’s xaughter
J, B, and N all think it’s terrible.
People really make things complicated, don’t they?
People complicate everything. People are awful.
Maybe. It sure makes me grateful for our little island of misfit toys.
Yes, but who is King Moonraker?????!!?
Michael Lonsdale?
They are going to make a movie about me called Bro The Firster. I may give you all bit parts.
https://youtu.be/ca6N9FN-rbQ
There is much competition in the story of The Bro.
Is this an algebra exam?
I miss Jerry Springer.
That’s a lot of crazy
So I just got back from a Cake concert, fucking awesome.
A great show,
The honeypot has begun and you don’t even know it. The Bro can tell you what he is going to do, and it will still succeed. The honeypot is too great.
Good morning, you people.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Ijk4j-r7qPA
🎶🎶
I hope y’all have a great day. 😁
Morning.
What do you mean by ‘you people’?
*debates which Blazing Saddles quote would fit better*
It’s true, it’s true!
Good morning, Sean, U, and Lack.
Little Black Cat is still confined to quarters and must be appeased with copious amounts of attention. ***SIGH!!!*** One more week (I hope!)
Morning GT
Good Morning.
Potato wilt in the garden.
🙁
I must admit, my first inclination was to think “Potato Wilt” was a person named Wilt known for his association with tubers.
Sorry to hear about your crop. How’s the livestock doing?
Livestock is going rather well. Young sheep continue to escape my fencing. Some are bound for freezer camp.
Wife has successfully milked sheep. If we can keep kids away we get as much as a gallon a day.
we let the entire flock out to graze in the evening. As long as we keep them from the road, (and they seem to always head there) its a peaceful time.
🐑🐑👍
I was not familiar with potato wilt. No spuds this year but tomatoes and peppers which may also be susceptible.
Today I learned something but it had to come at the expense of another. Sorry to hear, robo’
Good morning, ‘bodru. I’m sorry about your ‘tater troubles. I’ve come to the conclusion that I don’t have the patience for gardening.
“Potato wilt in the garden.”
Ugh. Glad the sheep are doing well.
A pill as black as your morning coffee: America is the Least Free We’ve Ever Been in a New Ranking of Economic Freedom
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v6biwsMpoPw
This is why I take my coffee with cream and sugar. #25 and sinking, lovely.
Mornin’, reprobates!
Good morning, ‘patzie! How are you today?
Burned out, we’ve been playing a game of “what can go wrong today” for weeks, and I’ve been up for 2 hours working on the latest fuckup.
🙁
Morning all.
Another day of potholes and detours. Fortunately I’ll avoid them, since I don’t venture out much.
Roundabouts, they are like the plague, springing up everywhere. Traffic density here is seasonal but roundabouts are forever.
Good morning, 4(20)!
Very few roundabouts in these parts, so I’ve never really got the hang of them. At least I’ve survived the few I’ve encountered.
I love a good Roundabout.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=QOrrNM4md8c
Knew it before I clicked it! 😁