EP 2: Gravity Man VS The Tomorrow Machines

by | Jul 12, 2023 | Entertainment, Film | 68 comments

 

FADE IN

EXT. METRO CITY METROPOLITAN NEWS PAPER-DAY

(Gravity Man= Peerless Paladin)

(Anti-Gravity Man= Brute Malefactor)

NARRATOR

It’s a mild mannered day in the city of Metro City as average

citizen Peerless Paladin arrives to his job at the Metro City Metropolitan.

Little does he know the danger that he doesn’t know about.

INT. METRO CITY METROPOLITAN NEWS PAPER-DAY

Peerless walks to his desk. Even in his guise as Peerless Paladin Orbit Boy still orbits around him. Brute Malefactor is sitting at the desk across from Peerless.

PEERLESS

Good morning Brute old boy.

BRUTE

Morning, you see the talking picture box today?

It seems there are some mechanical mechanized machines

wreaking havoc downtown.

BRUTE picks up the phone.

BRUTE

Ethel connect me to the news room,

I think I got something big here.

PEERLESS

You’ll have to excuse me…it seems

I forgot my…in the…broom closet…

Peerless runs into the broom closet and after a lot of banging comes out in his Gravity Man suit, as he stands there in a heroic pose Orbit Boy’s head keeps hitting the door. Then he slowly runs away, his feet sticking to the ground.

BRUTE

Gravity man? Where did he come from?

I guess I’ll just have to…

He gives sneaky eyes and ducks under his desk, when he comes back up he is wearing his Anti-Gravity Man suit.

BRUTE

Let Anti-Gravity Man take care of this!

He levitates off the ground and then he flies away.

EXT. DOWNTOWN METRO CITY-DAY

Gravity Man makes his way slowly down the street, concrete sticking to his feet. He comes into view of a two giant robots smashing the city. Anti-Gravity Man floats over the shoulder of one of the robots.

ANTI-GRAVITY MAN

Ha-ha, meet my tomorrow machines, Gravity Man!!

GRAVITY MAN

You diabolical dissident!

ANTI-GRAVITY MAN

Tomorrow machines attack!

The robots start throwing debris at Gravity Man, all of it getting sucked right to him, some of it hits orbit boy. Gravity Man picks up a big chunk of rubble and hurls it at the robots, but his gravity just sucks it right back at him and he gets knocked down.

ANTI-GRAVITY MAN

Hahahaha!! You are no match to be the equivalent of me!

Gravity Man struggles back to his feet and jumps towards one of the robots. His gravity powers make him suck right to the robot and he makes a dent in it. Orbit boy keeps hitting the robot as he tries to orbit. Gravity Man feebly punches the robot doing no damage, he quickly tires and hits like a girl.

Orbit boy reaches up to a big switch marked off right next to him and the robot falls to the ground. Gravity Man’s gravity powers suck the other robot down and it crashes into a billion bits.

ANTI-GRAVITY MAN

You win this time Gravity Man, but I will return!

Anti-Gravity Man flies off. Gravity Man slowly gets up as hunks of the robots stick to him and the crowd cheers.

INT. METRO CITY METROPOLITAN-DAY

Gravity Man walks to his desk disguised as Peerless and sits down. He picks up the phone.

PEERLESS

Ethel, I got your story.

He smiles.

FADE OUT

About The Author

CPRM

CPRM

Organic troll farmer.

68 Comments

  1. Ted S.

    I always knew Gravity Man was in the closet.

    • SDF-7

      Yeah — Anti-Gravity Man denies it, but I think there’s an attraction.

  2. SDF-7

    It seems there are some mechanical mechanized machines

    wreaking havoc downtown.

    I think this inspired Lady Redundant Woman.

  3. CPRM

    Read the story, then chat with the author. Glibzoom

  4. Common Tater

    How did you do the typewriter font?

    • Ted S.

      CSS?

      pre tags in HTML?

    • CPRM

      Copied it from the Open Office doc where it was in the Courier New font. It’s the damn formatting I can’t get to copy over. Basic fonts will copy over.

    • Mojeaux

      If you use styles in your Word/OO doc, it’ll copy over. I have to strip mine out when I post the Friday installments.

    • rhywun

      I dunno but it needs to be bolded maybe.

      My shit eyes have trouble reading it.

  5. rhywun

    Like his bet on the English pound, Soros took a short position on the value of American prosecutors. He was right about their discretionary powers and right about the impact his donations would have on elections—but dead wrong that those reforms would improve safety. Now, American cities are paying the price for his bets.

    Narrator: George Soros was never interested in “improving safety”.

    Nevertheless, an interesting post-mortem on the Soros legacy. Even when it’s too timid, as befits this think-tank’s trademark style.

    • Zwak , “There is infinite amount of hope in the universe… just not for us.”

      Soros was only ever interested in washing the stink of being a Judenratt off of his hands.

    • Chafed

      Very interesting.

    • Gustave Lytton

      Portland’s problems are not mainly due to the Soros backed DA.

  6. Sean

    I hate rogue meteors.

    • Nerfherder (Non-Non-Man)

      But they’re so dashing!

  7. Nerfherder (Non-Non-Man)

    “ Hahahaha!! You are no match to be the equivalent of me!”

    Sounds like one of my drunken internet comments.

  8. Rat on a train

    Thank you San Diego. I had mole for the first time in years. Also, your Summer weather is great.

    • Ted S.

      Does mole taste gamy?

      • SDF-7

        For that you need to go to one of those underground restaurants.

      • Rat on a train

        I would expect an earthy taste.

    • rhywun

      Panama likes San Diego too.

      The USMNT are fucking embarrassing themselves, about to be kicked out of another tournament.

      • rhywun

        OK, repeat of a US v Canada I guess. Bring on the penalty kicks.

        I get that the US is not interested in soccer but it should not be such a struggle to beat a country that we are 76 times larger than.

      • rhywun

        LOL pathetic, gringos.

        The analysis should be interesting.

      • rhywun

        On the bright side, Mexico suck lately too so maybe Jamaica can beat them now.

      • Rat on a train

        They’re playing to the level of the USWNT for equity.

      • rhywun

        LOL but ugh it’s just so ridiculous. And tediously expected by groaning fans.

    • CPRM

      I had fried calamari for the first time when I was there.

      • Rat on a train

        Mmm … I had some calamari in Orange County.
        If only California wasn’t expensive and dysfunctional.

      • Fourscore

        Calamari oocupies my every thought

      • CPRM

        Fourscore is into tentacle porn, who knew?

      • Sean

        The NSA.

      • Rat on a train

        The government has the largest porn collection.

  9. Gustave Lytton

    Another long day. Not sure if I’m making forward progress or slipping backwards. Not enough days left in the month.

    • Gender Traitor

      Noice tune! Something I can handle first thing in the morning. 🥱☕

    • rhywun

      👍🎶

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      It’s not so much bags of cash as it is they tend to do cash business. Doesn’t do a heist any good if all you end up with is credit card receipts.

  10. Sean

    No one won the Powerball.

    • UnCivilServant

      Why would you tell us this before we can check for ourselves? Don’t be the harbinger of disappointment.

      • The Hyperbole

        Why didn’t you check for yourself before internetting?

      • UnCivilServant

        Because I save disappointment for later in the day.

  11. hayeksplosives

    Good morning Sean.

    I’m about to roll over and sleep some more but at least I’m freshly rogered and will be raring to go at work today!! Lots of shit to do.

    I really hope the coworker and I have a chance to get together at end of day. His flight home is the crack of dawn Friday and then it’s radio silence for at least 3 weeks.

    I might fall apart.

    • Gender Traitor

      Good morning, hayek and Sean!

      Radio silence? Like, FULL radio silence? How come?

      • Gender Traitor

        Thanks. Fortunately for me, not in areas I frequent for work or play, but apparently happening “East side, west side, all around the town.” I just have to traverse the entire city north to south to get to the day job.

      • Gender Traitor

        I still wish Duck Duck Go would let me switch their map function to anything but Apple Maps. My laptop goes black for a moment every time I try to zoom in on a map DDG brings up…and when it comes back, the map is usually blank. 😒

    • Grosspatzer

      Yikes!

      *checks map*

      Ohio does border Indiana. That explains it.

  12. robodruid

    Test, swapped out computer.

    Ugh lost a sheep to parasites i think last night.
    She was always week/
    4 months old…

    Please be safe, yall keep me sane-ish.

      • robodruid

        This farming shit be hard. We had wormed all of the sheep last week, marked them orange paint to make sure we knew we got them all.
        I will take the body to vet to see if it was a parasite and which medication to use on them next.

      • Gender Traitor

        Please remind me – how large is your herd?

      • UnCivilServant

        Sheep tend to be no bigger than waist high.

      • Gender Traitor

        [Note to self: Ask R.J. if there are any B-movies about giant sheep]

      • UnCivilServant

        I know of at least one horror movie about killer sheep. Whether it is a ‘B’ movie, I don’t know.

      • robodruid

        We have about 35. Some are pregnant again. WIfe is pissed about that.

    • Gender Traitor

      I’m sorry, ‘bodru. Poor lambie!

    • Grosspatzer

      Sorry to hear. I’ve never been entrusted with the care of an animal, but I imagine it must be tough to lose one.

      • Gender Traitor

        Not even a goldfish??

      • Grosspatzer

        I almost forgot, I raised two sons. I guess that qualifies.

  13. Grosspatzer

    Mornin’, reprobates!

    Spent the first half of this week refactoring our Google BigQuery code base. Today will be debuggering what I screwed up.

    I do believe that the Google APIs were created by a thousand monkeys banging away at a keyboard. Ugh.

    • UnCivilServant

      That might be an upgrade.

  14. Fourscore

    Morning All,

    Farming ain’t easy, full of disappointments. Corporate farming seems to get bigger and not have the attachment to the land.

    Good luck, R-B-

    • robodruid

      So very true. All i see are my mistakes and failures.
      Still would not change it….

      No if i could get the water commission to change its mind today, that will be a small victory.
      Buggers.

      • Fourscore

        No mistakes, only part of the learning curve.

        As a kid I was not into farming, this area is not farm country. I grow trees, mostly to look at but nature still wants its share.
        My garden looks good, maybe I learned a little back in Ag Class, in the dark ages. A chain link fence helps too.

      • UnCivilServant

        I missed the actual issue with the water commission. What is it they’re doing?