Stanky Jerky

by | Jul 17, 2023 | Cooking, Fun, KHAAAAAANNN!!!, Recipes | 107 comments

This kind of pig.

 

So I was cruising through the deep freeze to see what was in there when I came across a six pound pork loin. I haven’t done jerky in a while, so it’s fate was set.

 

I used a Thai style jerky recipe that is very simple and yields my favorite piece of jerky. I’ve done this with beef and moose, but pork loin is my favorite.

To start with, I trimmed the loin and sliced it across grain into 1/4″ thick slices.

 

As I mentioned, this recipe is pretty easy. For every pound of meat, mix together:

2 tbsp Thai fish sauce

1 tbsp light, or dark soy sauce (I use half and half)

2 tsp sugar

1/2 tsp white pepper

1.1 gm Cure  #1

 

Put the meat in a ziplock bag big enough to hold it all. I used a 2 gallon bag for this batch. Whisk all your ingredients together, add to the bag, and mix thoroughly. Seal the bag and into the fridge overnight. Turn the bag over a couple of times.

 

The next morning, I spread the slices out on racks and into the smoker*. I’m going to start at 100 degrees for an hour with no smoke to dry the pork. Then I add wood, ramp up to 140 for two hours and then 160 for another two hours. Four hours of smoke are plenty.

*If you don’t have a smoker, no big deal. Oven drying will still deliver a quality product.

 

From here, I move the meat to a 160 degree oven to finish the drying. Between smoking and drying, the total time was about nine hours.

 

To finish things off, I put the jerky in a brown paper bag over night to deal with any residual moisture as it cools.

 

You know why jerky is so expensive? I started with six pounds of meat and finished with two pounds of jerky. But it’s worth it!

 

 

Thanks for looking!

 

About The Author

Spudalicious

Spudalicious

Survey says I’m a Paleolibertarian bitches. That means I eat “L”ibertarians for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Soave tastes a little fruity. Wait a minute, that doesn’t sound quite right…

107 Comments

  1. MikeS

    🤤

  2. MikeS

    I haven’t yet tried making jerky on my smoker. Might be a good project for this weekend.

  3. MikeS

    We make jerky in the air dryer often, but I hadn’t thought of smoking it first.

  4. MikeS

    Does the paper bag go in the fridge or let it set out?

    • Spudalicious

      Letting it sit on the counter is fine.

  5. The Bearded Hobbit

    I’ve found that there are basically two types of jerky; chewy or crunchy. I like chewy.

    • Spudalicious

      I’m finding the store bought stuff these days have a texture like someone has already chewed it once.

  6. rhywun

    I only know the jerky that comes in the long skinny plastic wrap – and I have avoided it for 40 years for a reason.

    Is this better?

    • R.J.

      Yes. Homemade jerky is much better. Most store bought is hard like chewing plywood.

      • MikeS

        I think Jack Link’s is pretty damn good for store bought, but that’s about it.

      • MikeS

        I swear…I’m not just saying that to get on STEVE SMITH’S good side.

      • R.J.

        That is one of the only good ones. My favorite on road trips. I have been trying to figure out how it stays so stable. Looks like beef stock may be added.

      • MikeS

        Could be. They’re always a little “damp”. I figure I don’t want to know exactly what it is. I just tell myself it’s marinade while I’m licking it off my fingers.

      • hayeksplosives

        Yeah, Jacks is good road trip food.

        I was stuck with a broken down car halfway between Tulsa and Joplin and had to wait 4 hours for a tow. Very happy to have the Jacks and the granola bars.

      • JaimeRoberto (carnitas/spicy salsa)

        NO YOU WORRY. WHEN STEVE SMITH FIND YOU, YOU BE ON GOOD SIDE.

      • rhywun

        I have no idea of the brand I ate 40 years ago.

        But it was dry AF and like chewing on an extension cord.

      • R.J.

        Sadly that is what most people experience. My wife tried Bucky’s jerky this last trip. It was just as you described.

    • Sean

      Bacon jerky.

      *Mic drop*

      • R.J.

        Hmmm….

      • Ted S.

        Currently watching Runaway Daughters on Pluto. A delightfully bad 50s juvenile delinquent film that would be a change of pace for your Thursday night movie slot.

      • MikeS

        And The Riddler is in it!

      • R.J.

        Found it.

      • Ted S.

        Credited as Frank J. Gorshin, as though this makes things more classy.

      • R.J.

        Nice. I can look it up. I just wrote up the next three:
        Kung Fu Wonder Child
        If You Don’t Stop… It You’ll Go Blind!
        Punk-Fu Zombie

      • The Hyperbole

        Speaking of B movies, the guy who plays the long haired/bearded dude in the Rob Zombie gore-fest movies was in my regular watering hole tonight.

      • Gender Traitor

        Will you eventually feature the sequel to the second one?

      • R.J.

        If I can. It isn’t showing up right now. I did talk about it and the joke writer.

      • Spudalicious

        Too much fat. It would go rancid.

        *picks up and hands Sean his mic*

      • MikeS

        You just need to eat it faster.

  7. Tundra

    Yeah. Time for me to do this.

    Thanks, Spud!

  8. hayeksplosives

    That finished product piece of jerky in the last picture is mouth watering.

  9. Fourscore

    I have the local guy make venison sticks out of some of my home grown deer. Always put out some for Honey Harvest. This year is Sep 17th, mark your calendar.

    Your jerky looks and sounds great, Spud.

    • kinnath

      We’ll be there

    • Swiss Servator

      You know I want to be there…

    • PudPaisley

      I really want to make a Honey Harvest, but that’s always a tough weekend to pull off. I seem to always have a lot of doings around that time, dontcha know?

      • MikeS

        Yeah, you betcha

    • Don escaped Texas

      that’s the best definition of hospice I ever read

      • Tundra

        Agreed.

      • MikeS

        I agree

    • Tundra

      Sorry, Swiss.

      Looks like a wonderful place.

    • Festus

      Sorry to hear that Friend.

    • MikeS

      😥 Sorry Swiss.

    • Swiss Servator

      They treated Mom just darn fine.

      • Tres Cool

        Mama Tres passed at Hospice of Dayton- I was there when she took her last breath. The care she got was top-notch, and I dont know how the staff does it.

  10. Festus

    Nicely done. We used to buy those giant pork loins when the kids were still home. Usually just slice them up and either bar-b-que them or mash them flat and bread them for schnitzel. The best part was running about the kitchen pretending it was a penis when the little ones weren’t looking.

  11. Festus

    I have to apologize for never knowing what the fuck is going on. I’m two or three days behind.

    • MikeS

      It’s OK, Titty. We still love you.

      • Festus

        Ya see? This is why I love the Glibertarians.

      • UnCivilServant

        I’m just happy to have people who’ll put up with me.

  12. Plinker762

    65 degrees outside of Flagstaff today. It cooler than Spokane, lol.

    • rhywun

      OMG I miss 65.

      • Tundra

        What’s cure #1?

      • Tundra

        Lol. Doesn’t belong there, but the question stands.

      • MikeS

        Sodium nitrite. Curing salt. Extends the shelf life of jerky considerably. And TOP. MEN. want to make it illegal because it can be deadly if misused. 😲🙄

      • Don escaped Texas

        “but isn’t chemical X dangerous!?”

        well, everything is you-could-drown-in-orange-juice dangerous

      • MikeS

        I’m usually not one for conspiracy theories, but banning sodium nitrite sure fits with “them” not wanting folks to be self sufficient.

      • Tundra

        Ah gotcha. Thank you!

      • MikeS

        Holy shit. I didn’t realize the US Congress was considering banning it. Better stock up now.

        C.A. Goldberg PLLC, a law firm in New York, has so far filed three lawsuits against Amazon over its sale of the product, with each filing representing two families.

        “It’s an encouraging sign that lawmakers around the country are beginning to take matters into their own hands to restrict sales of sodium nitrite to individuals,” said Naomi Leeds, an attorney for C.A. Goldberg. “But it’s frightening that we’ve gotten to the point where legislative action is necessary.”

        “Necessary” Fuck off, slaver.

        Not a single word in the article about widespread use of consumers. They try to frame it as only something “industry” uses.

      • MikeS

        OK. Looks like the target is over 10% purity and most of the commercial cures are at 6.25% Still bullshit, but at least not a total ban, I guess?

      • UnCivilServant

        Why so low? And what’s the filler?

      • MikeS

        So low because it can be poisonous, and the filler is table salt.

  13. hayeksplosives

    Ok, friends and neighbors.

    I’m outfitting my apartment for the kitty (kitties?) I’m about to adopt.

    I have two lovely carpeted cat trees from New Cat Condos. They are wonderfully study for even the biggest kitties who run and jump on the trees. https://www.newcatcondos.com/

    I would like advice on a good fountain to encourage healthy amounts of water drinking. Also, I plan to get ordinary litter boxes and Tidy Cat, but I know there are enough cat owning Glibs out there that you fine folk can probably recommend something good.

    I welcome advice and ideas!!

    • Gender Traitor

      For litter, I formerly bought Arm & Hammer clumping stuff (strictly in Unscented varieties) but later switched to the (also unscented) clumping stuff you can get in a big bucket and then refill from the big “sandbox” at Petco.

      For the boxes themselves, I’d wanted them covered, but I’d found out the hard way that the covered pans built “clamshell”-style split between top and bottom right about where the kitty boys tend to aim. 😖 I went to Big Lots and bought the biggest plastic storage tub I could find with a lid, then cut a door in the side with a drill and a reciprocating saw. (These days, though, with Big Sweet-But-Dumb Cat apparently picky about having enough headroom where he goes, I’ve been leaving the lid off, but at least the sides are high enough that there are no unfortunate aiming accidents (or are they on-purposes?)

    • Festus

      There are no magical ways. If you have an indoor cat you must buy a large container and then get ready to clean the cat box every three days. Buy the clumping stuff. It’s hateful but it needs done.

    • rhywun

      Be prepared for them to tell you that the first couple litter solutions are not acceptable, and then be prepared for them to change their minds about it every few years.

  14. MikeS

    FYI for any budding jerky makers: You don’t have to add curing salt. If you use lean cuts and dry it well, it’ll keep in the fridge for quite a while. If you’re looking for long term storage and/or storing at room temp, then sodium nitrite is a must.

    • MikeS

      I guess it isn’t a must if you dry the meat down to shoe leather moisture levels.

      • Festus

        We made jerky a long time ago. The flavor was right but she didn’t cut them thin enough. Half-freeze the meat and thin slicing abounds.

      • MikeS

        We had the exact same experience our first time. So, we resorted to grinding the beef and using a jerky gun. Works great.

  15. Festus

    Judi is finally home. I went on a shopping trip yesterday. It was horrible. Every bag requires its own trip up the stairs and then you need to yank the walker up. I’ve about had it. You should see what its like trying to use the walker and move it in and out of a vehicle. Seven steps at the front, five steps at the back. I’ve pretty much had it. It happened so fucking quickly.

    • Don escaped Texas

      fuck, bro

    • MikeS

      Shit. Sorry, man.

    • Sean

      😟

    • Gender Traitor

      I’m sorry, Fes. Please hang on.

  16. Don escaped Texas

    Memphis continues to suck

    According to ConsumerAffairs methodology, Memphis is the worst city for drivers by a wide margin. The city’s “crash score,” based on the news service’s criteria, is 86.6. Baton Rouge’s “crash score” was 73.8, while the No. 5 city, St. Louis, scored only 47.42. The study focused on cities with a population of 100,000 or more.

    • Don escaped Texas

      or you might just walk?

      Memphis ranked No. 4 on MoneyGeek’s most dangerous cities for pedestrians list. In between Fort Lauderdale and Memphis are Little Rock, Arkansas, at No. 2 and Jackson, Mississippi, at No.3. In fifth place is West Palm Beach, Florida, with 30 deaths from 2017 to 2020 — this is significant, given its relatively small population of 111,006.

      Certain people basically play in traffic, taunting drivers and tempting thy doG both: then should get a weekend on a chain gang.

      • MikeS

        Sounds like you should escape Memphis.

      • Festus

        I like that song 😉

      • MikeS

        +1 “Some spade said rock’n’rollers…you’re all the same”

      • Gustave Lytton

        “Maybe it was Memphis
        Maybe it was southern shitty drivers
        Maybe it was you
        Maybe it was me
        But it sure ran the light”

    • Festus

      Our wee city has been one of the worst for “homeless” in North America.

    • Shpip

      Lots of Big Altima Energy in a couple of those locales.

  17. MikeS

    I just got an email from the esteemed Secretary of Education, Miguel A. Cardona. It opens with:

    On June 30th, the Supreme Court issued a decision invalidating the Biden-Harris Administration’s student debt relief plan to provide up to $20,000 in one-time relief to more than 40 million student loan borrowers.

    We believe the Supreme Court got it wrong.

    It gets stupider from there.

    • Festus

      That sentence makes no sense.

    • rhywun

      They’re trying to gin up anger at SCOTUS.

  18. UnCivilServant

    Why am I doing application testing that can wait until morning?

    I should be sleeping, but I fell asleep at 5pm and got six hours of sleep already.

    • Festus

      You forgot to don your testing gloves.

      • Tres Cool

        FESTUS!

        Hows it hangin’ ese?

  19. Timeloose

    Well our dog’s reach his end of life. He no longer can walk consistently or without falling and possibly hurting himself. The drugs we started him on for the seizures are making his brain issue’s worse.

    We have decided to put him down at home this evening. Expect Sounder and Old Yeller levels of crying.

    He’s given me and especially my wife 14 years of unconditional love, protection, and companionship. We owe him a dignified and pain free end with us both by his sides.

    • Sean

      Sorry dude.

    • Gender Traitor

      I’m sorry, ‘loosey. ::hugs:: for you and your wife and ::scritches:: for your dogie.

    • Toxteth O'Grady

      Oh no. Just when things were starting to look somewhat better. 😢

    • rhywun

      Aw… good doggy

    • robodruid

      I am so sorry TL.
      Its awful, horrible.
      But you are doing the right thing.
      If you can, i recommend an at home euthanasia. less traumatic for them.

      • Timeloose

        That is what we are doing. Thanks everyone.

    • Gender Traitor

      Good morning, Sean and U!

      Got all the details of this week’s pay + incentives (which also included a couple of pay raises and correcting a couple of erroneous holiday pay entries) submitted, reviewed, and given final approval JUST before quitting time yesterday. This means I get one easy day at work today…before I have to start listening to the Zoom recording and writing up the minutes of tonight’s Board meeting tomorrow. 😒

      • Gender Traitor

        Second!!!

  20. UnCivilServant

    I wish the people who make my breakfast salads would cut the red onion pieces smaller. They’ve been trending larger of late. Soon they’ll just throw the intact onion in there…

    • Gender Traitor

      Do your salads come with those rock-hard croutons? My first job out of college was at a subs, salads, and pizza joint, and we made our own croutons from the previous day’s sub buns – chopped into cubes, deep-fried, then sprinkled with Parmesan cheese and some blend of herbs. I’d sneak some as snack food while working. Most commercial croutons I’ve encountered could break a tooth. 😣🦷

  21. Grosspatzer

    Mornin’, reprobates.

    On my way into NYC to have lunch with my cousin and later hang out with some co-workers, and otherwise take on the ambience of a dying shithole. If I had to make this trip daily I would shoot myself, I don’t know how I did it for decades.

    • Gender Traitor

      Good morning, ‘patzie! Hope you are able to enjoy the day with a minimum of shitholiness!