Ep 7: Gravity Man VS The Killer Wave

by | Aug 23, 2023 | I Am Lame | 140 comments

EXT. METRO CITY DOCK-DAY

PEERLESS PALADIN and MARGO METTLESOME each hold a hand of JEFFEY JOHNSON as they approach the gangway of a large Red Cross ship. Porters in American Navy uniforms scurry about carrying various cargo onboard. ORBIT BOY keeps being smashed against the cargo being carried onboard, breaking several crates. The porters with the broken crates glare at him as they try to pick up the spilled cargo. Splinters of wood start to orbit around Orbit Boy

ORBIT BOY SHRUGS. Splinters of crates still orbit Orbit Boy. One importantly reads ‘EXPLOSIVES’ .

      NARRATOR
We now join precious girl reporter, Margo Mettlesome, Jeffey Johnson, the retarded copy boy, and everyday normal newspaper man Peerless Paladin, who is secretly Gravity Man, as they board a Red Cross cargo ship bound for the front lines of The War. Let’s join in.

      MARGO
We’ll give those dirty Japs the what-for! We’ll show them!

ORBIT BOY glares at MARGO. Splinters of crates still orbit Orbit Boy. One importantly reads ‘EXPLOSIVES’ .

      JEFFEY
Dirty Japs!

      PEERLESS
Why yes, I think those Japs don’t know what they are in for.

ORBIT BOY glares at PEERLESS. Splinters of crates still orbit Orbit Boy. One importantly reads ‘EXPLOSIVES’ .

      MARGO
Peerless! Don’t use such bigoted language in front of the boy! The little retard might pick up on it!

      JEFFEY
Dirty Japs!

      MARGO
See what you’ve gone and done!

      PEERLESS
But Margo, you just said…

After a large crate marked ‘EXPLOSIVES’ is pulled into his orbit and hits him on the head PEERLESS notices several boxes carried onboard by the porters are marked ‘EXPLOSIVES’. The exit trajectory of the crate that hit him in the head is launched out over the bay and explodes.

      PEERLESS
There is something queer about this cargo.

      MARGO
There’s something queer about you! Now, let’s get a move on before the ship leaves without us.

MARGO, JEFFEY and PEERLESS finally board the ship.

CUT TO the ship disembarking.

EXT. SHIP DECK-DAY

CAPTAIN SPALDING is on the deck of the ship with MARGO, PEERLESS and JEFFIE; introducing them to the crew. The five man crew consists of FIRST OFFICER FIFE (who has a peg-leg) and four other crew members (they don’t matter to the story, make them look piratey). Due to PEERLESS being onboard, the ship is constantly bombarded by waves that hit only him in accordance with ORBIT BOY’S orbit. This will continue throughout the episode, even if I forget to mention it again. Splinters of crates still orbit Orbit Boy. One importantly reads ‘EXPLOSIVES’ .

      CAPTAIN SPALDING
…And finally here we have First Officer Fife, a veteran of the 8 seas.

      MARGO
I thought there were only 7 seas, Captain Spalding?

      CAPTAIN SPALDING
And that’s exactly what those dirty Japs want ya ta think! Crafty buggers, they are!

ORBIT BOY glares at CAPTAIN SPALDING. Splinters of crates still orbit Orbit Boy. One importantly reads ‘EXPLOSIVES’ .

      JEFFEY
Dirty Japs!

MARGO elbows PEERLESS. It takes her a second to pull her arm away.

      PEERLESS
Well, this certainly is a lot of queer seamen.

      CAPTAIN SPALDING
Tis the way of the sea, tis. Loads of queer seamen. That’s why I love it. I’ve taken on loads and loads of queer seamen over the years, and loved every minute.

CUT TO

A wide shot of the vessel cutting through the sea, a crisp white spray emanating from the bow as the ship glides through the blue water.

INT. RADIO ROOM-NIGHT

      FIRST OFFICER FIFE
Calling Dr. Lobo. Dr. Lobo, do you read me? This is First Officer Fife calling Dr. Lobo. Come in Dr. Lobo.

      DR. LOBO (OVER THE RADIO)
This is Dr. Lobo. Over.

      FIRST OFFICER FIFE
Dr. Lobo, you were right! The Americans are shipping explosives on medical ships to defeat our Jap masters!

      DR. LOBO (OVER THE RADIO)
They are not my masters! No one is the master of Dr. Leo Lobo! But, they are funding my evil science research quite handsomely, even if they are dirty japs. Over.

      FRST OFFICER FIFE
What you want me to do about it, the explosives I mean?

      DR. LOBO (OVER THE RADIO)
Yes, the explosives…You needn’t worry about that, my Wave Motion Gun will make sure that threat is over. Over.

      FIRST OFFICER FIFE
Hehehe.

      DR. LOBO (OVER THE RADIO)
Hahahahaha! Over.

INT. BOAT CABIN-NIGHT

Jeffie Johnson is bouncing on the bed, at the height of each jump he pushes pushes Orbit Boy as he passes, making him go faster around as the scene goes on, like pushing a merry-go-round. Margo reflexively ducks each time Orbit Boy nears her without missing a beat in performance.

      PEERLESS
I’m telling you Margo there is something queer afoot on this ship. I’m just not sure what it is.

Splinters of crates still orbit Orbit Boy. One importantly reads ‘EXPLOSIVES’ .

      MARGO
I know your father was a seaman who acted queer and left when you were a boy, but just because you don’t accept their lifestyle is no reason to be so suspicious of the seamen covering this ship. The country needs good strong seamen if we’re ever going to beat off these dirty japs!

      JEFFEY
DIRTY JAPS!

      MARGO
Peerless Paladin, do you see how your hateful speech influences this little retard.

      PEERLESS
It’s not about the seamen Margo. Like any red blooded journalist I love young seamen. In fact, I have written many articles about my love of young seamen. But there is just something so queer about the seamen on this ship. I just can’t quite finger it.

Splinters of crates still orbit Orbit Boy. One importantly reads ‘EXPLOSIVES’ .

      PEERLESS
That’s it!

      MARGO
What is?

      PEERLESS
Never mind, I…need to find a toilet.

PEERLESS and ORBIT BOY quickly exit the cabin.

      MARGO
Shows what he knows, to seamen it’s the head. Although, I’m not quite sure why…mighty queer indeed.

INT. CARGO HOLD-NIGHT

GRAVITY MAN and ORBIT BOY burst through the door, knocking the sailor guarding the room unconscious. The door then comes back and smacks Orbit Boy in the face, bounces off and hits the wall of the room so hard it gets fused to the wall.

      GRAVITY MAN
Just as I thought! Those dirty Japs filled the cargo hold of this medical ship with explosives! The evil bastards!

ORBIT BOY glares at Gravity Man.

      GRAVITY MAN
This looks like a job for Gravity Man!

Gravity Man extends his arms in a Christ Pose and all of the explosives crates are sucked to him. Many smack Orbit Boy in the face as all the crates enter Gravity Man’s orbit. Gravity Man slowly slogs his way out of the room and up the stairs, which bend down as Gravity Man steps on each new step, and bend up as he lifts his feet.

EXT. SHIP POOP DECK-NIGHT

Gravity Man finally makes his slow way up to the poop deck of the ship, where all the ship’s crew are out mingling and enjoying the crisp sea air.

      GRAVITY MAN
The poop deck is filled with seamen! I can’t release my explosive load on the poop deck when it is already filled with seamen!

      CAPTAIN SPALDING
Avast me seamen! A giant wave is coming to our aft!

A GIANT wave approaches the ship from the rear.

      GRAVITY MAN
This ship is about to get pounded in the rear and all the seamen will be washed out!

      FIRST OFFICER FIFE
That dastardly Dr. Lobo double crossed me! He unleashed his Wave Motion Gun on the ship while I’m still aboard!

      GRAVITY MAN
Dr Lobo, eh. He’s been working for the japs. That means this isn’t just any wave! It’s a jap tsunami! The yellow devils!

Music swells and Gravity Man and Orbit Boy plod off the poop deck, down into the water, leaving a trail of gravitational destruction. The aft of the ship almost gets sucked down with him but bounces back up.

EXT. OCEAN-NIGHT

Gravity Man falls into the ocean and sinks like a rock. A bubble of air is pulled down with him (by gravity) so he and Obit Boy can survive. Gravity Man lands on the ocean floor and begins slowly walking away from the ship, towards Japan. Schools of fish and pods of whales are pulled behind him. On the surface the giant wave is just about to hit the ship and in a cartoon fashion reverses course and begins to follow Gravity Man.

INSERT-a map plotting Gravity Man’s course as he redirects the wave to Japan.

EXT. JAPANESE BEACH-DAY

GRAVITY MAN and ORBIT BOY emerge from the water on the beach as a young Japanese boy frolics. The tide follows him up the beach, fish and whales are pulled ashore, flopping in the sand. Gravity Man approaches the child and hands the explosives to him.

      GRAVITY MAN
I think these belong to your parents.

The jubilant boy accepts, straining to carry the crates, and hurries excitedly towards his parents.

      GRAVITY MAN
Away!

Gravity Man plods slowly back into the ocean. Orbit Boy reaches to try and save the child, but being locked in orbit he fails. As Gravity Man disappears beneath the waves first an explosion, then the giant wave hits. Everything in sight is destroyed.

INT. METRO CITY METROPOLITAN-DAY

CUT TO-METRO CITY METROPOLITAN NEWSPAPER HEADLINE ‘GRAVITY MAN WINS THE WAR’ BY MARGO METTLESOME.

      MARGO
At long last the world can live in peace and harmony no matter creed nor color. With those dirty Japs out of the way, the krauts and dagos to, we can follow the model of those honorable Chinese and the friendly Russians into peace and prosperity.

      PEERLESS
(CLASPING HIS HANDS AND BOWING, SHOWING BUCK TEETH)
Me so happy now.

ORBIT BOY GLARES AT PEERLESS.

MARGO and PEERLESS laugh.

FADE TO BLACK

About The Author

CPRM

CPRM

Organic troll farmer.

140 Comments

  1. SDF-7

    Holy Fucking Eyechart, Batman!

    I’ll read it in a minute… but can’t believe I had to zoom the browser to 110% (and I have pretty good eyes still!) What is that, 7 point font?

    • CPRM

      I’ve got no issue reading it on desktop or laptop. 🤷🤷

      • SDF-7

        You’re probably on default settings. I read at 67% by default… had to go back up to read it.

      • MikeS

        I dropped mine down to 70% and yeah…no. But the comment section text is pert’near the same size, so I’m surprised you keep it on 67%

      • R.J.

        Them serifs mess with a man’s eyes on electronic devices.

      • MikeS

        That’s true, they do add an extra bit of fuzz.

        giggity

  2. SDF-7

    Hooray for Captain Spalding! Guess he got tired of exploring Africa, though.

    You really needed a link for the Wave Motion Gun?

    And I suppose it is still Wednesday… so all the queer seamen jokes had to wash over us.

  3. CPRM

    Music to read to.

  4. MikeS

    do you see how your hateful speech influences this little retard

    /sensible evil chuckle

  5. MikeS

    Bravo! Good reading music, too.

  6. MikeS

    I assume Hyperbole is in the Zoom. Someone give him this for me:

    🖕🏻

    And please say “you are wrong” while doing it.

    kthnx

    • The Hyperbole

      Are all firsters cowards who ask others to do their dirty work?

      Furthermore, I don’t know why I let you people distract me from the main point, even if “Who Made Whom” counts as a soundtrack it’s not even close to “Superfly” so you’re wrong like seven different way.

      • MikeS

        Yeah, it’s my fault you went on and on about your completely dumb definition of “soundtrack”

        Also, shut yo mouth! WMW is vastly superior.

      • MikeS

        Furthermore, I’m not a coward, I just assumed since I put you in your place, yet again, that you wouldn’t show up in the chat. Besides shouldn’t you Zoom people be Zooming whilst watching the NoDak guvna mop up the stage at that debate thing?

      • The Hyperbole

        Debate thing? I’m watching Trump on Tucker like any true Maga Extremist libertarian would*.

        * is actually watching Justified : City Primeval

      • R.J.

        How is it? Asking for a friend.

      • The Hyperbole

        4 episodes in, still digging it, but it’s starting to drag, hopefully there’s a shake up coming soon or it may lose me.

      • Ownbestenemy

        It was okay. Raylon had a type in forst series and that just all went to hell in this chapter.

        His actual daughter playing his daughter is annoying.

      • DrOtto

        Starts strong and then starts to suck. I doubt I’ll finish it.

  7. "Tulsi Gabbard Apologist"

    I could see this as a radio show. Well done.

    Also, Margo pics or it didn’t happen

    • SDF-7

      Careful — this episode, the ship probably shifted when Peerless jumped off… all the crew would have fallen onto each other. So he’ll send you a picture of Margo covered in seamen.

    • CPRM

      I’ve been listening to a lot of the 1940s Superman radio show, that’s where the use of queer came from, he did say queer seamen at last once.

      • MikeS

        A buddy and I at work like to use that word in it’s old-timey meaning. We do get some looks occasionally.

      • rhywun

        LOL.

        I still find usages of “gay” from as late as the sixties to be jarring.

        As for “queer”, I’m going to make it my life’s mission to spread the truth that today it means “political leftist” more than anything else.

      • SDF-7

        Wait… The Flintstones didn’t mean we’d watch Barney pegging Fred when they said we’d have a gay old time?

      • MikeS

        I think that is what the Water Buffalo Club was all about.

      • creech

        And what about the “Enola Gay.”

      • UnCivilServant

        So you’re not oddly happy?

      • rhywun

        I wish.

      • Zwak , “There is infinite amount of hope in the universe… just not for us.”

        Thats queer…

      • Not Adahn

        There’s a Regencey-period parody movie called “Stiff Upper Lips”in which a very proper young lady is admonishing he slighty-less proper young man about his choice of frined:

        “I don’t understand how you two can be friends at all. He’s so queer, and you’re so gay.”

      • "Tulsi Gabbard Apologist"

        Your double entendre was noted. I giggled

      • MikeS

        She’s not a smokeshow, she’s just drawn that way.

  8. cyto

    Trump, in the first couple of minutes of his Tucker interview:

    “We’ll probably do better numbers on this platform, whatever you are using here, than the debate”

    Checks numbers…. Tucker at 74 million.

    Superbowl did 114 million. Regular season NFL is the top rated show…. pulls in less than 50 million at peak, on Thanksgiving cowboys game.

  9. Gustave Lytton

    Wife has debate on. Kill me now. All of them seem to be running for mayor/unileader of America. Principals over principles. Pence is a hoot. Running against his entire life with a stern straight face.

    Missing elephant in the room.

  10. Gustave Lytton

    Fuck you Christie, you fat establishment fuck.

    • MikeS

      Is my governor standing there with crutches or did they give him a chair?

      • Gustave Lytton

        I don’t see any on crutches.

      • MikeS

        What a stud. He tore his achilies earlier today

      • MikeS

        Or he never gets to talk so the camera never goes way over to the end where he is

      • Gustave Lytton

        Ooh! I think figured out which one he is. Talking just fine, apparently. NoDak tough.

  11. Gustave Lytton

    Desantis: I learned it by sniffing the jock straps of SEALs.

  12. CPRM

    With the release of Starfield coming up I’m thinking I might actually buy it at full price instead of waiting for a drop. My PC meets all the specs, especially since I only run at 720 cuz my eyes suck anyway, except an SSD is required. So now I’m looking at SSDs, the price has dropped a lot over the last couple years.

    But, if I get an SSD I’m going to want to migrate my OS there…this is just sounding like a lot of work.

    • cyto

      On Amazon they have SSD that come with a thumb drive and cloning software for just that purpose.

    • UnCivilServant

      I got a 2TB SSD for about $200 (pretax) as recently as July. It was cheaper than the 2TB SSD my OS is on.

      • CPRM

        Looks like right now I can get 4TB starting around $200. Haven’t checked all the speed differences yet.

      • UnCivilServant

        You’re right, looking at my computer, I did buy a 4TB in July.

        My OS disk is 2TB.

      • CPRM

        I just grabbed a PNY 4TB for around $220 and $5 heatsink. Other drives were cheaper, but from brands I’m not familiar enough with. PNY has been making decent RAM for a long time. I got the heatsink as a justin case. The same SSD was out of stock with a heatsink and it would have added like $40 anyhow.

      • UnCivilServant

        Mine was from Kingston, whose never done me wrong (your milage may vary)

        I’ve not needed a heatsink for the SSDs, but I’m not going to argue against erring on the side of caution.

      • CPRM

        Yeah, I’ve only had 1 failure from overheat (a RAM module) but since then I’ve erred towards cooling.

    • UnCivilServant

      Unrelated – Having seen the gameplay trailer before I’m confused as to why it’s age restricted now. It’s not like I’m going to sign in to youtube for anything.

      • CPRM

        I don’t know either. There is a short clip of what looks like it could be a strip club, but no nudity in that shot.

      • rhywun

        Not a bright marketing ploy.

      • UnCivilServant

        This one was a few videos back, so fussing over YouTube restricting it wouldn’t be worth the effort. It was unrestricted during its part of the hype cycle.

  13. Gustave Lytton

    Will Vivectionist call Pence an outright traitor? Nope, not tonight.

    • UnCivilServant

      If you’re talking about who I think you are, he’s previously called 2020 “Legitimate” I don’t know if he said anything about people who’ve pointed to the shenanigans that throw it in doubt.

  14. Gustave Lytton

    Fat Fuck: Putin is coming for you!

  15. Gustave Lytton

    Pence: we’ve got to fight the commies!

    • CPRM

      I thought Trump was the one that wanted to oust the current ragime.

      • Gustave Lytton

        He meant Russo-commies under Premier Putin.

      • CPRM

        “The 80s called and wants it’s foreign policy back.” -The Great Orator

      • UnCivilServant

        That asshole needed to be told to shut up more often.

  16. Gustave Lytton

    Fortress America, fuck ya!

  17. Gustave Lytton

    Fuck you Nikki, use your own checkbook.

  18. Gustave Lytton

    Wah wah, we must continue the American Empire!

  19. rhywun

    Not watching the clown car act at this stage but I’m wondering if the Dems are still pretending that Biden will be the nominee and therefore no debates?

    • milo

      This is the RNC. They already know who will be the candidates. They complied with the demands of the Uniparty months ago.

    • milo

      This is the RNC. They already know who will be the candidates. They complied with the demands of the Uniparty months ago.

    • cyto

      Tucker asked Trump about that…. he said he didn’t think Biden would make it to the post.

      Thinks Kamala is almost as addled. But said Newsome is from a failure in California too…. so he isn’t worried.

      • rhywun

        The Dems have the advantage of sycophancy from every establishment in America to lean on. 🙄

        President Kamala would not surprise me one bit at this point.

      • cyto

        “The president is a leader. The president is a leader of the country. The united states ….. (knowing nod)…… is a country. I am running for president. President of the United States. As President of the United States, I will be the leader of the United States.

        …..

        …..

        HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

        Thank you.”

        /Kamala Harris at the first presidential debate.

  20. milo

    Twice is nice.

      • rhywun

        Words fail.

      • MikeS

        Huh

      • Zwak , “There is infinite amount of hope in the universe… just not for us.”

        What the Chalupa?

      • CPRM

        Mmmmmmmm, chalupa, aghhhhhhh……

  21. Gustave Lytton

    Fat Fuck: I’m running to be Pater Patriae

  22. Gustave Lytton

    Asa: I’m the guy with new ideas. Ignore my white hair.

  23. Gustave Lytton

    Timmy has Biden’s whisper talking down pat.

  24. cyto

    I cannot believe Christie thinks he can win this. He fumbled his way through trying to claim that he is just like Reagan because Reagan beat Carter and he is going to beat Biden. Nope.

    Didn’t watch much, if any of it. Did anyone have a moment?

  25. Ownbestenemy

    Nice job Animal with the live blogging on RedState. You had some great zingers in there.

  26. cyto

    Interesting – I put “How many people watched the debate on Fox” in a google search box a moment ago.

    The top 2 links were to ABC news and CNN video updates about the Fox debate. The first article was from PBS, talking about how Trump was not at the debate, and nobody was talking about him (so he must not be as relevant as polling seems to indicate)

    NBC, MSNBC, NPR, NYT, Politico all come up high on the list. Notably absent? Fox and Fox news.

    It literally is in the name I used as a search term, and it didn’t come up. Also absent, anything about ratings.

    • rhywun

      “How biased is Google towards the Left?”

      *blank page*

    • CPRM

      Neilson does use set top devices, but they also still use phone and paper surveys. Their results are not instant.

  27. cyto

    Tucker and Trump now over 80 million. Something has definitely shifted in political and news media. No chance Fox and all the other networks combined did that sort of number for their coverage of the rest of the debate.

  28. CPRM

    After the nephew watched Terminator with me he played the rest of the day with my old robot hand, so today when we went to a hobby store I bought him a stem kit to build a robot hand. He swears he’ll actually build it, unlike the multiple solar robots he still has in boxes from last year.

    • cyto

      A) That kit is awesome.

      B) Vex Robotics is a really good program for elementary through high school. I have been doing it for 8 years at the elementary level. The kids get a lot out of it. The competition gives them something to aim for and a measuring stick. I use it to teach them how to follow a process and how to solve problems – so we usually spend 6 months getting almost nothing done as they learn how to ask the right question, avoid jumping ahead to the first solution that pops in their head, etc. and they learn a basic mechanical vocabulary from a long litany of failures. They learn gears, levers, claws, drivetrains, reinforcing structures, etc. in all of their failed attempts. Then suddenly they put it all together and shoot to the top of the leader board, usually competing for the state championship and winning invites to nationals and worlds. They also have a blast learning how to code the robots to perform the tasks autonomously. Some of the teams are homeschool kids or small groups of parents, so you don’t even need a school sponsor to lead a team.

      • CPRM

        Kids today (adjusts onion belt) don’t really get taught how anything works, it’s just known to work. He’s 10, didn’t even have a basic understanding of internal combustion engines until I casually explained it to him while I checked my oil at a gas station. Of course, I’ve always been the kind of person that seeks out knowledge instead of waiting for someone to teach me, but I’m pretty sure I learned the basics of ICE just from watching cartoons by the time I was 5.

  29. UnCivilServant

    Why am I checking my work email? I shouldn’t.

    • CPRM

      I never even bothered to learn how to sign into my work e-mail from home. Much stress relief.

      • UnCivilServant

        I have a hybrid remote/office schedule, and if there’s off-hours work (an IT hazard) it’s easier to be able to just log in from home.

      • CPRM

        Yeah, it’s pretty hard impossible to work from home when you work on an air-gapped system.

      • Rat on a train

        I just delegate work on the closed systems.

  30. Brochettaward

    DeSantis performing this poorly is disgraceful on two fronts.
    1. Being the only one in the GOP with a strong anti-covid background should be a trump card for him. Just run on that shit, especially as they try to ramp up covid hysteria again.
    2. People should be far, far more grateful to the anti-covid candidate than they are.

    • creech

      Which candidate has the most knowledge of the Washington power structure and how to dismantle it, while having substantial executive experience to discharge his or her constitutional duties? It seems Trump had heart in right place but didn’t know shit about how Washington bureaucracy worked, and couldn’t be bothered to do the hard work to combat it, delegating it to some of the worst hires he could have found.

      • CPRM

        It seems Trump had heart rhetoric in right place but didn’t know shit about how Washington bureaucracy worked, and couldn’t be bothered to do the hard work to combat it, delegating it to some of the worst hires he could have found.

      • Brochettaward

        DeSantis completely took over Florida.

        The Clinton’s and Obama both remade DC with their people. It generally takes 8 years and the ability to organize.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Interestingly he has shifted his angle to bring just that up. Lays his failures at him not knowing Washintgon while saying his future success will be because he now knows

      • CPRM

        Trump knows Lump. Pump up the Trump. (80s sports style)

  31. CPRM

    106 comments on an article about queer seamen; that must for sure make us LGBTQ+-/? certified.

  32. Shirley Knott

    Mornin’ all.
    Some obscure electronica to cleanse the palate after yesterday/last night.
    From Ose, Adonia, Orgasmachine
    And
    Retour sur Adonia

    • SDF-7

      Arrr… it not be me… it looks to be a true scurvy modern day pirate, laddie!

  33. UnCivilServant

    Morning, internet randoms.

    • Gender Traitor

      Good morning, U, SDF, Roat, Shirley, and Sean!

      Got a bit of a thunderstorm going here. Topping off the charge on my phone in case the laptop loses internet.

      • DEG

        Mornin’/

        Gym time.

      • Gender Traitor

        Good morning, DEG! Have a good workout!

        I went to water aerobics last night. It was great fun, but I’m feeling it this morning.

      • UnCivilServant

        Hope nothing goes wrong.

        I miss being able to sit and listen to storms without fretting about the house.

      • Gender Traitor

        Your new roof should help that, yes?

      • UnCivilServant

        Theoretically. But it also extends to things like power going out, etc.

        It’s a child versus adult issue.

      • Rat on a train

        The forecast is for an evening light show.

      • Grosspatzer

        🌩🌩🌩

      • Shirley Knott

        Good morning GT, et. al. It got all the way down to 73 overnight here, after a high of 92. My apt. cooled off to a sweltering 79, with the help of the miserable “cooling system” they have the nerve to call “air conditioning.” Bleah! Today is more of the same; I’m hoping that for once the forecasted thunderstorms actually happen this afternoon.
        At least it’s going to start cooling off, pretty dramatically, tomorrow.

  34. Grosspatzer

    Mornin’, reprobates!

    • Gender Traitor

      Good morning, ‘patzie! How’s it going today so far?

      • Grosspatzer

        Pretty well. As of yesterday I am officially the sole maintainer of our legacy analytics platform, until it is sunsetteted at the end of the year. This is probably why they decided to keep me happy by giving me a glowing mid-year review.

        My “Alma mater” (I dropped out in my second semester) is beclowning itself with a level of covid hysteria that manages to exceed the standard craziness.

        https://thehill.com/changing-america/enrichment/education/4163968-rutgers-will-still-require-covid-19-vaccine-masks/

        Rutgers said incoming students must abide by a COVID-19 vaccine mandate, according to the school website. The mandate says there will be no exceptions, though it also says evaluation of exception requests will be made on a case-by-case basis.

        Even if students are hypothetically granted an exemption to the vaccination rule, on-campus attendance is not guaranteed, and students will be required to undergo testing.

      • UnCivilServant

        Someone needs to sue them for requiring a shot more dangerous than the disease it fails to protect against.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        That is pretty pathetic. A Rutgers degree isn’t worth a lifelong heart issue.

  35. Stinky Wizzleteats

    So how’d Trump’s interview go last night? Is he still pushing Operation Warp Speed as The Greatest Thing in the History of Ever or has he learned better? Also, who won the Future Vice President and Cabinet Position Debate?

    • UnCivilServant

      *shrug*

      Didn’t watch.

      • R.J.

        I did not either. I expect some news links in a few minutes.

  36. Grosspatzer

    Oh, my. Just caught two squirrels makin’ whoopee doggie squirrel style on the trunk of the oak tree in my yard. I wonder if they have an Only Fans account.

  37. Not Adahn

    That crate shard seems to be important.

    • UnCivilServant

      Collect enough shards and you can assemble a loot crate with randomized loots.

      If you don’t want to grind for shards, you can buy them with premium ingame currency.

      • Not Adahn

        I’m liking the post-Black Gate storyline in LOTRO. It seems to have been written by people who are actual fans of ME. The initial expansion was a very basic “clear out Gorgoroth Mordor Gorgoroth and then Minas Ithil Morgul Ithil but when the decided to do an epic (multi-expansion) storyline aobut the dwarves it got legitimately good.

      • UnCivilServant

        I’m getting vibes along the lines of “Sure, it starts out rough, but after the eleventh book, it starts to get in its groove (but you won’t understand it if you skip the first ten)”

      • Not Adahn

        If you played the game in real time as released it would be different. However, I took a 20+ year break from the game and so am burning through expansions as fast as my schedule and game play allows. I’m three expansions from being current (one of those was an expensive one concerning the book’s West Rohan era) so the pace of play is more plot-based and less exploration based.