In the beginning, God created the earth, and he looked upon it in His cosmic loneliness.
And God said, “Let Us make living creatures out of mud, so the mud can see what We have done.” And God created every living creature that now moveth, and one was man. Mud as man alone could speak. God leaned close as mud as man sat up, looked around, and spoke. Man blinked. “What is the purpose of all this?” he asked politely.
“Everything must have a purpose?” asked God.
“Certainly,” said man.
“Then I leave it to you to think of one for all this,” said God.
And He went away.
"Tulsi Gabbard Apologist"
on August 22, 2023 at 7:27 pm
The father of several of the main characters was a fictional character, Felix Hoenikker, who had worked on the Manhattan Project.
"Tulsi Gabbard Apologist"
on August 22, 2023 at 7:26 pm
The existence of the ball sack does prove God’s sense of humor. He must laugh his ass off every time some teen boy is hit in the ball sack by his best friends for entertainment.
"Tulsi Gabbard Apologist"
on August 22, 2023 at 7:31 pm
Harassing your friends is part of becoming a man
MikeS
on August 22, 2023 at 8:43 pm
Ted does this by linking shitty songs.
Chafed
on August 22, 2023 at 10:32 pm
+1
The Bearded Hobbit
on August 22, 2023 at 7:35 pm
Getting punched in the nuts caused me to dump my then-current girlfriend and to give a call to the girl I knew in SoCal. Been married 51 years, now. That crotch-punch turned out to be the best thing in my life.
Fatty Bolger
on August 22, 2023 at 8:28 pm
That’s the problem with kids today, they don’t get punched in the nuts often enough.
pistoffnick
on August 22, 2023 at 8:28 pm
Lynne E***** was fucking accurate with a soccer ball. After the 4th time puking my guts out, I finally learnt to were a cup.
Ownbestenemy
on August 22, 2023 at 7:29 pm
This is some sit around a fire and tell some lies type post. With lots of substances imbibed.
Ownbestenemy
on August 22, 2023 at 7:39 pm
Animal nice little article on Vivek. He…will be interesting. I think he will run away with the first debate. He just needs to not be so Trumpian and think out loud on some of his ideas as the race drags on.
Soooo…this week on an aircraft carrier inspecting things…and I seem to have misplaced my flashlight at some point. Not a huge deal at this point but still frustrating since I use it a lot at home too.
I know folks have posted links before….but any Amazon tips for something with an LED bulb, very bright, not too big, not made in China and around $30 or less – I will probably order at least 2 next Amazon order. AA is preferred but I guess rechargeable is an option too. Thanks
HOW ABOUT LIKE A TIE DYE CHICKEN THAT SCREAMS ACTUAL WORDS AT YOU!
Strangely enough, a couple of years ago, a zoo in the UK had to separate five parrots who were “encouraging each other to swear” profusely at the guests.
Which I thought was precisely the wrong thing to do. Set up a beer garden, put some netting around it, and let the birds and people commingle.
The 2018 Maui fire was right above Lahaina and the scars were easily visible from anywhere in town. Unexpected, minus the “un”, is what should have been in people’s minds. It certainly was in mine.
Someday the volcanos of Maui will have spectacular collapses into the Pacific Ocean which will spur tsunamis which will crash along every Pacific Basin shore. I can see an individual putting that out of mind since events on a geologic timescale infrequently occur during any individual life. But living on an island desert with seasonal high winds and having a near miss five years ago should have been remembered.
CPRM
on August 23, 2023 at 2:26 am
Climate change has no end. Unless you, um, drive an EV…then, GODGAIA will spare you from her wrath! Repent!
there was not a lot of communications inside the town itself because all the cellphone towers were out.
Which would be out even sooner if the idjits pushing preemptive public safety shutdowns got their way. How the fuck do they think cell towers are powered? Out of the æther?
Shirley Knott
on August 23, 2023 at 4:50 am
Morning all.
Finishing out my early Brian Eno,
A gentle piece, Spider and I
And one that’s on fire
Both are personal favorites 😉
Gender Traitor
on August 23, 2023 at 5:42 am
Good morning, Shirley, GL, and Sean! That first tune is indeed gentle, Shirley!
It looks as if we won’t be making the change to the proposed new payroll/HR vendor, at least not any time soon – boss didn’t like the terms of the contract they presented to him. In the meantime, though, initially proposed health insurance rates for next year are WAY up from current year. 😳 Our staff had kind of a rough (read “expensive”) year, health-wise. 😕
Wednesdays are either wuiet or obnosiously loud. All depending on whether a particular employee in a different group is in the office. I hope she’s not in today. I could use the quiet.
Gender Traitor
on August 23, 2023 at 5:50 am
Good morning, U! Fingers crossed that Noisy Coworker is on an extended vacation. 🤞
Speaking of bad contract terms, we’ve actually had vendors submit a Statement of Work (the document which defines who does what) where the meat was that the vendor did nothing and were to get paid. We turned those down. I’m imagining something along those lines.
Gender Traitor
on August 23, 2023 at 5:58 am
One of the sticking points was that we (read “I”) would have to do the initial set-up of accounts at every local taxing jurisdiction, which was not such a big hairy deal until we had so many people working remotely – now including one who is seasonally out-of-state and one who is permanently out-of-state. And I suspect my extra work wouldn’t end up ending there.
The contract also stipulated a three-year initial term AND three-year renewal terms, and getting out early would be quite pricey.
Did it also have a clause that renewal would be at the exclusive discretion of the vendor?
Gender Traitor
on August 23, 2023 at 6:07 am
Hmmm…Boss Man didn’t mention such a stipulation, but he did admit that trying to read through the contract was threatening to instantly cure his insomnia.
Fourscore
on August 23, 2023 at 6:01 am
I need to be a contract vendor. I do nothing very well.
“Here, let me show you how I can help”
/Goes back to recliner. I have learned to stay out of the way of anyone that’s actually working.
Grosspatzer
on August 23, 2023 at 6:07 am
Mornin’
I have learned to stay out of the way of anyone that’s actually working.
Which makes you more productive than most middle managers.
Gender Traitor
on August 23, 2023 at 6:08 am
Good morning, 4(20)! You’re obviously a natch as a supervisor! 😉
Grosspatzer
on August 23, 2023 at 6:21 am
initially proposed health insurance rates for next year are WAY up from current year.
We took a different approach. Cost is pretty much the same, but coverage went south. Higher deductibles (WAY higher deductibles), higher co-pays ($400 for an ER visit???) and so on. Taking a page out of the retailer’s guide to inflation wherein the prices stay the same but the packaging suffers from shrinkflation. See: 4 lb. bag of sugar.
I’ve never had a job where I was eligable for a merit-based bonus.
I used to be able to say I was never eligable for a bonus, but the most recent contract has a disgusting clause where anyone within my negoatiating unit who worked here from june though october (the whole time) gets $3k. It is one of several clauses that annoy me. Most of the people around here don’t deserve it.
Grosspatzer
on August 23, 2023 at 6:28 am
Most of the people around here don’t deserve it.
Working at $megabank in the early nineties, a developer scored a $1K “spot award” for working through the night to fix a problem in the overnight accounting run. Someone had introduced a bug in the previous day’s deployment. Guess who deployed that code.
Watching all the varieties of animals and seeing the niche specialties, I am impressed. See a squirrel climb a vertical concrete wall, the different birds that eat different foods, how turkeys and deer interact when corn is available. What we don’t see, of course, are those species that haven’t adapted. No giraffes here, though they could easily walk through the deep snow but alas, no browse in the winter.
Mammoths and mastodons didn’t evolve fast enough.
Not Adahn
on August 23, 2023 at 6:20 am
Back before I got a dog and had wildlife in my back yard, I would watch the various critters interact, and notice which ones would tolerate each other, what times of year they were most tolerant and which ones would win in conflicts.
All the rodents skedaddle when Crows are around.
Gender Traitor
on August 23, 2023 at 6:21 am
If only they’d survived to the present, they might have been able to experience flight!
Pleasantly surprising that hasn’t been “cancelled”! 😄
Not Adahn
on August 23, 2023 at 6:17 am
I completely lost the existence of Monday.
Yesterday I went to the gun club since their monthly meeting is on the third Monday. Nobody was there, so I checked and saw it was the 22nd. I figured I had done the math wrong about which Monday was the third.
This morning I set the garbage cans out, since trash pickup day is Tuesday.
The first thing that made me realize today was Wednesday is when I went to get coffee, the cafeteria had bread pudding for breakfast, which they only do on Wednesdays.
Poor Swissy….
Sort of on topic even
A rare baby giraffe was born without spots, a Tennessee zoo says
Cute
Some really good stuff. The formatting is off (for me) so I couldn’t read them all.
Copy the image link and paste it in a new tab.
That’s a lot of work
I’m not the one asking other people to enact their labor for me. 😉
right click
open image in new tab
I’m on a tablet. 😒
oh well
I’m on my phone. I was able to hold down on each image, rheni guess the right click menu popped up and I chose preview image. YMMV
“then I guess the…”
From The Books of Bokonon:
In the beginning, God created the earth, and he looked upon it in His cosmic loneliness.
And God said, “Let Us make living creatures out of mud, so the mud can see what We have done.” And God created every living creature that now moveth, and one was man. Mud as man alone could speak. God leaned close as mud as man sat up, looked around, and spoke. Man blinked. “What is the purpose of all this?” he asked politely.
“Everything must have a purpose?” asked God.
“Certainly,” said man.
“Then I leave it to you to think of one for all this,” said God.
And He went away.
Cat’s Cradle?
Yup.
I haven’t read that book in over ten years, but wasn’t one of the main characters related to Oppenheimer or one of the nuclear scientists?
The father of several of the main characters was a fictional character, Felix Hoenikker, who had worked on the Manhattan Project.
The existence of the ball sack does prove God’s sense of humor. He must laugh his ass off every time some teen boy is hit in the ball sack by his best friends for entertainment.
Happened to you a lot, didn’t it?
Harassing your friends is part of becoming a man
Ted does this by linking shitty songs.
+1
Getting punched in the nuts caused me to dump my then-current girlfriend and to give a call to the girl I knew in SoCal. Been married 51 years, now. That crotch-punch turned out to be the best thing in my life.
That’s the problem with kids today, they don’t get punched in the nuts often enough.
Lynne E***** was fucking accurate with a soccer ball. After the 4th time puking my guts out, I finally learnt to were a cup.
This is some sit around a fire and tell some lies type post. With lots of substances imbibed.
Animal nice little article on Vivek. He…will be interesting. I think he will run away with the first debate. He just needs to not be so Trumpian and think out loud on some of his ideas as the race drags on.
The gold and blue dark elf?
Obligatory
Dangnabbit. Stupid tablet. Here: https://youtu.be/nc2JBtrPpIk
Lol.
My favorite is 8th grade Adam naming animals!
Tundra, yes, Ryan Adams is on my heavy rotation list, as is Bob Mould. We saw Ryan at this show: https://archive.org/details/ryanadams2007-07-24.sbd.flac16
Increadible night, and we still have the concert poster hanging up https://th.bing.com/th/id/OIP.jhhR5TbcTCKYA0co1FAmJgAAAA?pid=ImgDet&rs=1
These were great, webdom. The “pet all the animals” and the follow up made me alol
Some nice gags webdom – reminds me of this anime tiddies episode (Heavens Design Team): https://youtu.be/jI85dL3ooVU
I knew it. God does have a sick sense of humor.
He Is Laughing,
The Firsts betray you…because they BELONG to ME!
You have it backwards. https://youtu.be/_jTN_nnOHkk
Watching Anthony Bourdain in SF in 2009.
Depressing on several fronts.
Soooo…this week on an aircraft carrier inspecting things…and I seem to have misplaced my flashlight at some point. Not a huge deal at this point but still frustrating since I use it a lot at home too.
I know folks have posted links before….but any Amazon tips for something with an LED bulb, very bright, not too big, not made in China and around $30 or less – I will probably order at least 2 next Amazon order. AA is preferred but I guess rechargeable is an option too. Thanks
Looking for Fish’s light saber:
https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/6/61/US_Navy_080619-N-2610F-011_Sailors_search_the_flight_deck_for_foreign_object_debris_%28FOD%29_during_a_FOD_walkdown_aboard_the_Nimitz-class_aircraft_carrier_USS_John_C._Stennis_%28CVN_74%29.jpg
You’re gonna have a real hard time finding a decent non-China-made flashlight in the $30 range.
This is what I usually have on me: https://www.amazon.com/Streamlight-88061-ProTac-Professional-Tactical/dp/B01G75P1SC?th=1
I’ve found Streamlights to be pretty good. I carry a AAA variant in my pocket but have that one above, along with several others, around the house.
At ~$30, this is an excellent option:
https://www.amazon.com/Streamlight-66608-Flashlight-Micro-Stream/dp/B07DLZXZV1
I have one. It’s great, but it is made in Chai-na.
I have good luck with Jetbeam flashlights – very durable.
Yall asked, and finally I delivered.
Will he talk in an New York Italian accent, and be named Rocky?
I’m thinking he sounds more like Towelie.
*upvotes*
🙂
Strangely enough, a couple of years ago, a zoo in the UK had to separate five parrots who were “encouraging each other to swear” profusely at the guests.
Which I thought was precisely the wrong thing to do. Set up a beer garden, put some netting around it, and let the birds and people commingle.
I wanna hang out with the swearbirds.
Hunter The Sailor Man. Toot toot.
The 2018 Maui fire was right above Lahaina and the scars were easily visible from anywhere in town. Unexpected, minus the “un”, is what should have been in people’s minds. It certainly was in mine.
https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/other/a-terrifying-fire-struck-maui-in-2018-officials-were-warned-of-a-repeat/ar-AA1fD9mj
Someday the volcanos of Maui will have spectacular collapses into the Pacific Ocean which will spur tsunamis which will crash along every Pacific Basin shore. I can see an individual putting that out of mind since events on a geologic timescale infrequently occur during any individual life. But living on an island desert with seasonal high winds and having a near miss five years ago should have been remembered.
Climate change has no end. Unless you, um, drive an EV…then,
GODGAIA will spare you from her wrath! Repent!Which would be out even sooner if the idjits pushing preemptive public safety shutdowns got their way. How the fuck do they think cell towers are powered? Out of the æther?
Morning all.
Finishing out my early Brian Eno,
A gentle piece, Spider and I
And one that’s on fire
Both are personal favorites 😉
Good morning, Shirley, GL, and Sean! That first tune is indeed gentle, Shirley!
It looks as if we won’t be making the change to the proposed new payroll/HR vendor, at least not any time soon – boss didn’t like the terms of the contract they presented to him. In the meantime, though, initially proposed health insurance rates for next year are WAY up from current year. 😳 Our staff had kind of a rough (read “expensive”) year, health-wise. 😕
Morning.
Wednesdays are either wuiet or obnosiously loud. All depending on whether a particular employee in a different group is in the office. I hope she’s not in today. I could use the quiet.
Good morning, U! Fingers crossed that Noisy Coworker is on an extended vacation. 🤞
Speaking of bad contract terms, we’ve actually had vendors submit a Statement of Work (the document which defines who does what) where the meat was that the vendor did nothing and were to get paid. We turned those down. I’m imagining something along those lines.
One of the sticking points was that we (read “I”) would have to do the initial set-up of accounts at every local taxing jurisdiction, which was not such a big hairy deal until we had so many people working remotely – now including one who is seasonally out-of-state and one who is permanently out-of-state. And I suspect my extra work wouldn’t end up ending there.
The contract also stipulated a three-year initial term AND three-year renewal terms, and getting out early would be quite pricey.
Did it also have a clause that renewal would be at the exclusive discretion of the vendor?
Hmmm…Boss Man didn’t mention such a stipulation, but he did admit that trying to read through the contract was threatening to instantly cure his insomnia.
I need to be a contract vendor. I do nothing very well.
“Here, let me show you how I can help”
/Goes back to recliner. I have learned to stay out of the way of anyone that’s actually working.
Mornin’
I have learned to stay out of the way of anyone that’s actually working.
Which makes you more productive than most middle managers.
Good morning, 4(20)! You’re obviously a natch as a supervisor! 😉
initially proposed health insurance rates for next year are WAY up from current year.
We took a different approach. Cost is pretty much the same, but coverage went south. Higher deductibles (WAY higher deductibles), higher co-pays ($400 for an ER visit???) and so on. Taking a page out of the retailer’s guide to inflation wherein the prices stay the same but the packaging suffers from shrinkflation. See: 4 lb. bag of sugar.
Good morning!
Get up before the FBI comes knocking on your door!
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ht672-wYelc
🎶🎶
Mornin’. Good tune, I may have to check out the rest of their catalogue.
Nineties overload.
Mornin ‘, reprobates!
Good morning, ‘patzie! Surviving back-to-work so far?
Mornin’. Yes and no – got a stellar review and very nice mid-year bonus. And proceeded to fuck something up which I will need to fix later today.
I’ve never had a job where I was eligable for a merit-based bonus.
I used to be able to say I was never eligable for a bonus, but the most recent contract has a disgusting clause where anyone within my negoatiating unit who worked here from june though october (the whole time) gets $3k. It is one of several clauses that annoy me. Most of the people around here don’t deserve it.
Most of the people around here don’t deserve it.
Working at $megabank in the early nineties, a developer scored a $1K “spot award” for working through the night to fix a problem in the overnight accounting run. Someone had introduced a bug in the previous day’s deployment. Guess who deployed that code.
You?
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=o13glRURgTE
Wait! Wait! I know this one!
::thinks::
Hitler?
Good morning all,
Watching all the varieties of animals and seeing the niche specialties, I am impressed. See a squirrel climb a vertical concrete wall, the different birds that eat different foods, how turkeys and deer interact when corn is available. What we don’t see, of course, are those species that haven’t adapted. No giraffes here, though they could easily walk through the deep snow but alas, no browse in the winter.
Mammoths and mastodons didn’t evolve fast enough.
Back before I got a dog and had wildlife in my back yard, I would watch the various critters interact, and notice which ones would tolerate each other, what times of year they were most tolerant and which ones would win in conflicts.
All the rodents skedaddle when Crows are around.
If only they’d survived to the present, they might have been able to experience flight!
Obligatory.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=_v2exWrsGOc
Pleasantly surprising that hasn’t been “cancelled”! 😄
I completely lost the existence of Monday.
Yesterday I went to the gun club since their monthly meeting is on the third Monday. Nobody was there, so I checked and saw it was the 22nd. I figured I had done the math wrong about which Monday was the third.
This morning I set the garbage cans out, since trash pickup day is Tuesday.
The first thing that made me realize today was Wednesday is when I went to get coffee, the cafeteria had bread pudding for breakfast, which they only do on Wednesdays.
Did you go to work on actual monday? Or were you abducted and were missing time?
I have no recollection of it, but the “daily engineering task list” shows I did some work here then.
Though that could be faked.
Must be the new jobsharing program to support the imported illegals.
Buddy called time cards “fairy tale theatre”.
At least I have an excuse in that I took Monday off and napped through a lot of it.
Said one caveman to another – “I’m really tired, I knapped all day.”
Stone cold.
A better schedule would be to work Sat/Sun and fish the other 5 days.
Agreed. And good morning all. Another fine work day.