Joemala: Episode 199

by | Sep 6, 2023 | Joemala | 162 comments

 

“I can feel the COVIDs in me,” Joe said. “It’s like bugs are running around in my insides.” He was lying on the floor of the Oval Office TV set and shivering.

“You’re fine, Grandpa,” Finnegan said, her face a kabuki mask of concealer and foundation. “There’s no COVID.”

“Jill has it!” he moaned.

“Grandma is fine,” Finnegan said tiredly. “It’s just that the election season is starting up.”

“I hate elections,” Joe said. “I don’t want to go to Iowa again. I hate Iowa. There’s so many white people.” He rolled over on his side and struggled to stand up, levering himself off the floor with the brittle limbs of winter.

“Don’t hurt yourself,” Finnegan said. “Paco! Paco, get in here!”

A large man, scarred and muscular, stepped out of the shadows stage right and picked up Joe like he weighed nothing. He sat him in his set-dressing office chair and stalked off stage.

“That’s-s-s the biggest Puerto Rican I’ve ever seen,” Joe said.

“Don’t say that, Grandpa. The P-word and the R-word are offensive,” Finnegan admonished him.

“Puerto Rican is offensive?” Joe asked.

“Grandpa! What if there was someone filming you right now? There would be a huge scandal!”

“What am I supposed to call Puerto Rico now?”

“Puerto Rico is still Puerto Rico but a Puerto Rican is an Americano Islandinan.”

“I hate it here,” Joe said sadly.

“You’re speaking really well right now, Grandpa,” Finnegan said, lint-rolling his suit jacket, face and neck. “We should probably do this shoot before we take you to the G20 summit briefing.”

“I don’t want to get a shot,” Joe said, already rubbing his arm.

“It’s not a real shot,” Finnegan said. “I’m just going to press a syringe to your arm and we’ll take a few pictures.”

“Where are we?” Joe asked.

“We are in the Oval Office TV studio, Grandpa,” Finnegan said for the seventh time.

“Where is Jill?” Joe asked.

“She’s hiding from the press because she is supposed to have COVID again.”

“Jill is sick?”

“No, Grandpa. But we need to start this photoshoot.”

“Where are we?” Joe asked again.

About The Author

SugarFree

SugarFree

Your Resident Narcissistic Misogynist Rape-Culture Apologist

162 Comments

  1. Ownbestenemy

    You could have just had these lines as the whole episode.

    “Grandma is fine,” Finnegan said tiredly. “It’s just that the election season is starting up.”

    “It’s not a real shot,” Finnegan said. “I’m just going to press a syringe to your arm and we’ll take a few pictures.”

    • SugarFree

      I felt I owed to you all to provide filler.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Oh I appreciate the filler, its you just summed up 2020-2023 so perfectly.

      • SugarFree

        Dammit. I forgot to work in Finnegan’s sexy nurse outfit.

      • Zwak , “There is infinite amount of hope in the universe… just not for us.”

        It would go well with the Kabuki makeup. This would be real “NO” theater.

      • JaimeRoberto (carnitas/spicy salsa)

        I thought that was Hunter’s line.

      • Not Adahn

        Nurse’s cap, with a little watch pinned to his mankini?

  2. ron73440

    What does it mean when SugarFree’s stories are more realistic than the reality the regime is trying to tell me?

    • Dr. Fronkensteen

      DOOM. Repent all of your sins for the End is Nigh.

    • Old Man With Candy

      It IS the reality. That’s the best thing about it.

  3. The Late P Brooks

    “She’s hiding from the press because she is supposed to have COVID again?”

    Kremlinologists pounce.

  4. MikeS

    The tameness of this episode, along with the fact that next week is episode 200(!!11), make me fearful of the horrors likely headed our way.

    • Sean

      Don’t wear your velcro sneakers that day.

      • Bobarian LMD

        You’ll want traction.

  5. The Late P Brooks

    a Puerto Rican is an Americano Islandinan.”

    What about Samoans?

    • Sean

      They renamed those cookies.

    • Sensei

      Caramel deLites.

      • R.J.

        Oreos hardest hit

    • JaimeRoberto (carnitas/spicy salsa)

      They’re angry.

    • The Last American Hero

      MLB team had Asian Pacific Islander Native People and Native Hawaiian celebration night this year. The Japanese American sushi celebrity chef the news station interviewed repeatedly stumbled over the acronym. And with all due respect to Hawaiian’s – either you’re a Native American or a Pacific Islander. You don’t get a special designation.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        APINPaNH?

      • Cowboy

        As Big Daddy Kane said: APINPaNH ain’t easy

    • R C Dean

      Please tell me Americano Islandinan isn’t a real thing.

      • rhywun

        I had to look it up – you never know.

      • Sean

        LOL, same.

    • creech

      Didn’t the Samoans all drown when something Trump did caused their island to flip over?

    • JaimeRoberto (carnitas/spicy salsa)

      They’re Ukrainian. Those are good Nazis or something.

      • Sean

        Let’s send them some $$.

      • Dr. Fronkensteen

        2-3 billion ought to do it.

      • rhywun

        We can do a couple more orders of magnitude better than that.

      • Drake

        Great troll if that’s what it is.

    • Sensei

      Same as the Confederates.

      The bad blood between Ukraine and Russia is centuries old.

      • rhywun

        Which is why we never should have stuck our dick in there.

      • Robonerfherder

        There is nothing too crazy for DC to stick Victoria Nuland’s dick into.

    • Homple

      Much history of Russian/German/Polish/Ukrainian atrocities has to be memory-holed to keep the current narrative clean and pure.

    • Rebel Scum

      A memorial recognizing a Nazi division serving in World War II has sat in St. Mary’s Ukrainian Catholic Cemetery in Elkins Park for nearly 30 years.

      But it’s now drawn fresh attention and renewed calls for its removal.

      The black slab marble bears an inscription honoring the 14th Waffen Grenadier Division of the Schutzstaffel.

      It’s kosher to be against Ukrainian nazis again?

      • Bobarian LMD

        You’ll need to consult the ADL.

      • Gustave Lytton

        UCC?

        *lights crazy guy signal*

    • "RFK Apologist"

      History is Russian propaganda

      • "RFK Apologist"

        Why is it that people who have an above first grade understanding of history always the ones indoctrinated with objective fact and reality? Fascists

  6. Tundra

    He rolled over on his side and struggled to stand up, levering himself off the floor with the brittle limbs of winter.

    Pure poetry!

    • R C Dean

      Exactly my thought.

  7. Not Adahn

    “I hate it here,” Joe said sadly.

    So do we Joe, so do we.

  8. The Late P Brooks

    “Where are we?” Joe asked again.

    Waiting for Godot. He should be arriving any minute.

    • Sensei

      Let’s go. We can’t. Why not? We’re waiting for Godot

  9. DEG

    “Jill is sick?”

    “No, Grandpa. But we need to start this photoshoot.”

    So what is Dr. Jill really doing?

    • Ownbestenemy

      Feeding the narrative. Right on que Whoopi got it too so now the View can ramp up the narrative

      • Nephilium

        Isn’t it great that they all had their vaxes and boosters?

      • The Other Kevin

        We really live in two different worlds. They get their boosters and take a test every time they get a sniffle. And when they test positive quarantine themselves for a week. Meanwhile the rest of us have probably had it 3 or 4 times already and at this point hardly notice the symptoms.

  10. The Late P Brooks

    Maybe Doktor Grandma is in Italy being fitted for a new couch cover.

    • Lackadaisical

      Zing!

    • JaimeRoberto (carnitas/spicy salsa)

      In a surprise development she’s been upholstered in fine Corinthian leather.

      • Not Adahn

        Now that I think about it, I’ve never seen a cow when I’ve driven through Corinth.

        Deer, certainly, but that’s usually called “deerskin,” not leather.

  11. MikeS

    Badass

    ‘A 25-Minute Flight on 20 Minutes of Fuel’

    Empty on ammo, out of grenades and enveloped in a cacophony of explosions, rifle and machine gun fire, Hill and his team ran into a clearing as Taylor stomped on the left pedal and plopped his Cobra on the ground.

    As they descended, Taylor’s co-pilot asked, “what are we going to do with them?”
    “I said, ‘I don’t know, I didn’t think that far ahead,’” Taylor said.

    • Tundra

      What a stud. Great article – thanks!

      • kinnath

        This would be the honoree that Biden walked out on yesterday correct?

      • Sensei

        Why yes.

      • MikeS

        I missed that. What happened?

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        Hope someone rescued him.

  12. Bobarian LMD

    Filmed before a live studio audience.

    This needs audience prompts for when to laugh, clap and go “aww”.

  13. Rebel Scum

    I’d be surprised if our kangaroo kourt injustice system found differently.

    Writer E. Jean Carroll has already proven that Donald Trump defamed her and an upcoming trial on her civil claims against the former president will focus solely on what money damages he owes her, a federal judge in New York ruled Wednesday.

    In a 25-page ruling, U.S. District Court Judge Lewis Kaplan found the substance of Carroll’s pending defamation claims were the same as the Trump insults that a jury had determined were defamatory earlier this year.

    • Lackadaisical

      ‘what money damages he owes her’?

      Nothing because it has only helped her career and social standing?

  14. The Late P Brooks

    Madness

    Former President Trump is vowing to end the “madness” of the Biden administration’s push for electric vehicles — a likely appeal to voters in the swing state of Michigan.

    In a pair of Truth Social posts Monday evening, Trump took aim at the electric vehicle industry and President Biden’s push for more electric vehicles. With this opposition to electric vehicles, Trump is likely trying to persuade Michigan voters to support him over Biden, who carried the swing state in 2020.

    “The Great State of Michigan will not have an auto industry anymore if Crooked Joe Biden’s crazed concept of ‘all Electric Cars’ goes into effect,” he wrote in the Truth Social post. “CHINA WILL TAKE IT ALL, 100%. United Auto Workers, VOTE FOR TRUMP. Get your leaders to ENDORSE ME, I WILL KEEP ALL OF THESE GREAT JOBS, AND BRING IN MANY MORE. CHOICE IN SCHOOLS, AND CHOICE IN CARS!!!”

    ——-

    “Biden is a catastrophe for Michigan and his environmental extremism is heartless and disloyal and horrible for the American worker, and you’re starting to see it,” Trump said in a keynote address to Oakland County Republicans in Michigan in June.

    Will it work? Who knows?

    • Sean

      It’s only going to work if someone drops a house on Whitmer.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        👠 👠

    • rhywun

      “A likely appeal to voters…”

      …who are not crazy. Biden is seeking to destroy the economy of more than just Michigan.

  15. Not Adahn

    Fight Climate Change And Racism With Giant Statues

    20% of CO2 emissions come from coal. But attempts to decrease reliance on coal have met political resistance. The industry of some key swing states centers around coal mining, and despite calls that coal miners should “learn to code” or go into the caring professions, re-skilling them has proven difficult and they’re unwilling to go on welfare.

    Some environmentalists have argued that we should buy coal mines to shut them down. Fearing job loss, states with coal mines have responded by making it illegal to own coal mines and not use them.

    One environmentally friendly compromise would be to buy the coal mines, mine the coal, but not burn it. But then what do we do with all the coal?

    I propose building giant statues of black people.

    • Fatty Bolger

      This is satire, I hope?

      • R.J.

        I think so.

    • Sean

      Jim Justice is the current governor of West Virginia. If he were on the Supreme Court, people would have to address him as Justice Justice. I believe that we as a nation can and should make this happen.

      I’m in.

      • Not Adahn

        I would also work with the Bureau of Indian Affairs to see if we could get a tribe to appoint him as an honorary leader, in which case I would give him John Roberts’ job and he could become Chief Justice Chief Justice (or possibly Chief Chief Justice Justice).

    • Nephilium

      Fight climate change with your text editor!

      By optimizing as many routines as possible without losing user friendliness, Notepad++ is trying to reduce the world carbon dioxide emissions. When using less CPU power, the PC can throttle down and reduce power consumption, resulting in a greener environment.

      Source

      • Robonerfherder

        I like Notepad++

        Stop making me resent using it.

      • Lackadaisical

        Gotta get them esg bucks.

      • The Other Kevin

        The real way to fight climate change with your text editor is to shut it down, along with your computer and phone, and go for a walk.

      • rhywun

        OFFS.

        Work used to push that on us – I hate it.

      • Grummun

        So using Emacs must be analogous to driving a 1976 Blazer with bad rings.

  16. The Late P Brooks

    A memorial recognizing a Nazi division serving in World War II has sat in St. Mary’s Ukrainian Catholic Cemetery in Elkins Park for nearly 30 years.

    But it’s now drawn fresh attention and renewed calls for its removal.

    The black slab marble bears an inscription honoring the 14th Waffen Grenadier Division of the Schutzstaffel.

    In one of my history classes in college, we were told the Ukrainians welcomed the Germans as liberators. The Germans were too fucking stupid to take advantage of it.

    • Drake

      When I was in a Civil Affairs Group, WWII Germans were usually the example of what NOT to when occupying territory.

      • Robonerfherder

        How about the Red Army?

  17. Fatty Bolger

    Starship ready to go.

    Just waiting for government approval now.

    • JaimeRoberto (carnitas/spicy salsa)

      Is this going to be another thread about how awful We Built This City is?

      • Robonerfherder

        It cannot be emphasized enough.

      • JaimeRoberto (carnitas/spicy salsa)

        True. But we risk going down the rabbit hole.

      • Bobarian LMD

        Too be fair, it’s a pretty shitty city, so it deserves a pretty shitty song.

  18. Rebel Scum

    Indicted ’til you drop.

    Special counsel Jack Smith is not done with former President Donald Trump and his entourage, despite charging him with four criminal counts over his attempt to overthrow the 2020 election and more than three dozen other charges over his hoarding of classified documents in Florida.

    The clash between the hard-driving prosecutor and the world’s most famous defendant escalated even further on Tuesday, as new details of Smith’s widening probe into election interference emerged. The special counsel is now looking at how money raised off baseless claims of voter fraud was used to fund attempts to breach voting equipment in several states won by President Joe Biden, CNN exclusively reported.

    “Breach” is a funny word for “investigate”.

    • Pine_Tree

      My theory is that they’re deliberately using the word “breach” here to make it meaningless in the bigger picture, with the main aim of deadening the kind of real “breach” charges you’d get related to (e.g.) all the vulnerabilities of Dominion’s systems.

      Just like it’s always about control – you always have to watch the language with the proggies. That’s one of their main tools for steering the zeitgeist.

  19. The Late P Brooks

    Millions will die

    Senate Majority Leader Chuck Schumer (D-N.Y.) on Tuesday urged House Republicans to back away from their demands on a stopgap government funding measure and work with Democrats to avoid a government shutdown at the end of the month.

    Schumer warned the demands rolled out last month by the conservative House Freedom Caucus can’t pass and that a shutdown would harm the nation. Government funding expires Sept. 30.

    “By the end of this month, the House and Senate, Democrats and Republicans all must get on the same page keeping the government open and avoiding a pointless shutdown, a shutdown that will hurt just about every single American,” Schumer warned.

    ——-

    “The only way to avoid a shutdown is through bipartisanship. I urge, I plead with House Republican leadership to follow the Senate’s lead and pass bipartisan, Democrat and Republican Appropriations bills, supported by both parties,” he said.

    The House Freedom Caucus on Aug. 21 formally said it plans to oppose any government funding bill that doesn’t meet a series of conditions. Those included the top-line discretionary funding level being lowered to $1.471 trillion, below the $1.59 trillion topline number set by President Biden and Speaker Kevin McCarthy (R-Calif.) earlier this year in a deal to raise the debt limit.

    If you don’t give us everything we want, the Russians win. The economy will implode. The government will collapse.

    • Rebel Scum

      The government will collapse.

      I was already pro-shutdown. You don’t have to sell it to me.

    • The Other Kevin

      Didn’t we just do this song and dance a month ago?

    • Lackadaisical

      ‘Those included the top-line discretionary funding level being lowered to $1.471 trillion, below the $1.59 trillion topline number ‘

      They want to cut 7.5% from the budget? What mad men!

      • Grumbletarian

        Just the discretionary budget. All the nondiscretionary spending will continue apace.

  20. Not Adahn

    AIEEEE!

    Trying to “work” with the programmer who is writing the report generator to explain why some results are 6.00 and 500, but not 500.00.

    This makes him unhappy as it is obviously wrong.

    • Dr Mossy Lawn

      The data is only three significant figures? Usually you include the garbage through all intermediate calculations and only apply the SigFig determination on the final output.

      • Not Adahn

        It was a model report I wanted him to use. The numbers off the tool have vast amounts of digits, but the guy measuring the sample weight is only doing it to 3 sig figs.

      • Dr Mossy Lawn

        Ding Ding.. scientist vs programmer right? Did they not take HS chem or physics? Well they did but didn’t understand why you don’t include the crap on the end data, or “not in the formal report” Especially bad if they don’t understand how the binary # from the hardware converts to decimal.

      • Sensei

        Yes, but do we round or truncate?

      • Bobarian LMD

        You round up or you round down, depending on what lie you want to tell.

      • Not Adahn

        You round to the even. Who is teaching all of you the wrong things?

    • Robonerfherder

      Somehow I doubt the report writer knows significant figures which means a custom query and text conversion function.

      You’re complicating his day, man.

      • Nephilium

        This right here.

  21. Rebel Scum

    “I want to discuss policy that is foreign because it is not domestic.”

    “I feel very strongly about the importance as a general matter of engaging in U.S. policy as it relates to foreign affairs in a way that we pay attention, of course, to the immediate concerns and threats if they exist, but that we also pay attention to 10, 20, 30 years down the line and what we are developing now that will be to the benefit of our country then,” Harris said.

    • JaimeRoberto (carnitas/spicy salsa)

      So I think she’s saying is that we should look at the short and long term consequences of our foreign policy. But why use 15 words when 100 will suffice?

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        She didn’t have time to compose a shorter thought?

      • JaimeRoberto (carnitas/spicy salsa)

        She was assigned a 500 word essay, so she needs to fill space.

      • SugarFree

        I honestly think she’s just retarded. I’d love to see her take a few IQ tests. This isn’t even word salad because I don’t think it’s intentionally being obtuse to obfucate. I really think she can’t put thoughts into words in a neurotypical manner.

      • Robonerfherder

        It’s hard to put coherent thoughts together when you’re stoned out of your mind on Xanax.

  22. The Late P Brooks

    My theory is that they’re deliberately using the word “breach” here to make it meaningless in the bigger picture, with the main aim of deadening the kind of real “breach” charges you’d get related to (e.g.) all the vulnerabilities of Dominion’s systems.

    “Breach” has purely negative connotations. They don’t talk about Trump wanting to “examine” or “verify” anything. That might sound reasonable, and we can’t allow that.

  23. Tundra

    Any of y’all have a RE source you like for researching details (zoning, etc) for land?

    • Lackadaisical

      Google? Mostly depends where it is located. A lot of things are on municode.

    • MikeS

      I doubt you’ll find any property zoned for Subterranean Orphanage/Sweatshop.

      • Not Adahn

        “Light Industrial?”

    • Sensei

      Honestly, Blinken is there now and the “best” they could come up with is $175m suggests they might be realizing they have a problem here.

      • Robonerfherder

        The House is showing some resistance, finally.

        The Democrats are desperate to keep the war going. What they might be willing to do scares me.

    • "RFK Apologist"

      Meanwhile our NATO ally Turkey is helping Azerbaijan commit genocide against Armenians. But, it’s OK because they’re allied with the Russians because they’re a bit touchy about all the genocide against them throughout history that the West never gives a shit about.

      • Lackadaisical

        You’d think the Kardashians could tip the scales there.

    • The Other Kevin

      First they hand big pharma record profits, and now they give the defense industry Ukraine, the gift that just keeps on giving. Biden is making some people rich beyond their wildest dreams.

      • Gender Traitor

        Including himself.

    • Suthenboy

      How much for Maui?

  24. CPRM

    Had a super low grade fever the last couple days, slight congestion. felt fine enough to go into work. Everyone is all up in arms about covid! again. So yesterday my employee was complaining that I needed to get tested. Thought I’d take a test to shut him up. Well, apparently this nothing of a sickness I have is THE DEADLY COVID!11!! So now I get an extra 5 days off before I start my vacation next week and everyone at work has to work over-time covering for me. That being said, I’ll be available to Zoom tonight, Friday and Saturday night! Woo!

    • R.J.

      This is a fine thing.

    • Sean

      Lucky.

    • The Other Kevin

      The smart people predicted COVID would behave just like every other virus and get more contagious but less serious. Which is exactly as you described. But there are still brainwashed people that think every strain is super deadly to everyone who gets it.

      • CPRM

        I mean, I go between feeling slightly too warm to feeling slightly chilled, and every couple hours or so I have to blow nose. IT’S UNBEARABLE! IT’S UNPRECIDENTED! WOE IS ME!

      • Sean

        Hot peppers cure Covid.

      • CPRM

        A couple of my reaper pods are finally ripening. Small fruit, but hopefully will still pack a punch.

      • R.J.

        Agreed. I heard if you drink enough whiskey, it burns the virus out of your body.

    • JaimeRoberto (carnitas/spicy salsa)

      This is an interesting website that shows the wastewater data. https://biobot.io/data/

      If you set the timeframe to Total Results you’ll see that the level of Covid in wastewater is about 50% where we were in January, which was the previous peak shown in the chart, and I don’t remember a big hullabaloo about cases in January. You can also look at countywide data as well. It’s already declining in my county and much of California.

    • SugarFree

      SCORE! That is a nice long break.

      I felt sorta shitty over the long weekend but my insomnia has been very extra for the last couple of weeks.

      • CPRM

        The shitty thing is it’s gonna burn PTO, but I think I earn it back fast enough I should be good when I want to take my next vacation.

        I find beer helps with my insomnia, after enough.

      • CPRM

        That sounds like the exact regimen I had in mind.

      • SugarFree

        PTO? They are forcing you to take off and you have use PTO? Cunts.

      • CPRM

        As far as I know.

      • Old Man With Candy

        I’ve been waking up at 3 after going to bed at 11 or 12. By 7, I feel like I could go back to bed, but it’s worky worky time. Insomnia sucks.

  25. Robonerfherder

    Lessons in you get what you pay for.

    Customer brought in relatively new 27kW Powerhorse generator he got from Northern because it keeps cutting off when he fires up his entire food truck.

    I rented him an 18kW generator from Winco that handles the whole food truck just fine.

    Add to that, we opened the gen-end to take current measurements and his main rotor bearing was already dry of grease and the bearing housing was loose and wobbling in the frame.

    It’s just a piece of shit.

    • Fatty Bolger

      you get what you pay for

      Sometimes you do. But then again, sometimes you don’t. It’s always a bit of a gamble either way.

    • kinnath

      Well, it’s been a year since I asked you about generators. We are getting closer to figuring out what to do. This will be the last of our house projects (and we are nearly done with the biggest job in the middle). I need to go back and look at all the Winco stuff again.

      • Robonerfherder

        Build your amperage requirement list and work from there.

      • Dr Mossy Lawn

        I have a Winco PTO generator, powered by a Kubota diesel tractor.

        https://www.wincogen.com/product/w15ptos/

        It works fine, but I have replaced the capacitors at least once. It doesn’t completely fail but the voltage/HZ sync changes… The system is set for 515 PTO RPM is 60HZ and 240VAC (no adjustments) , when the caps start to deteriorate you need to up the speed to get 240VAC so you aren’t on HZ, and my UPS won’t sync (neither will the dishwasher).

        I bought a HZ meter to be able to sync it outside during startup to make it easier.

      • Robonerfherder

        Don’t think that’s going to run many deep fryers.

  26. Robonerfherder

    https://twitter.com/tomselliott/status/1699495612322849059

    @SecBlinken
    : Americans will “invest more than $520 million” to make Ukraine’s energy infrastructure “cleaner, more resilient”

    I too, need a cleaner and more resilient yacht in Miami.

    • Cowboy

      “invest”. You Keep Using That Word, I Do Not Think It Means What You Think It Means.

    • rhywun

      No. Just fucking No.

    • rhywun

      Which one? It seems like there are a few going on right now.

    • Robonerfherder

      Interesting. Seems the board fucked up when they didn’t tell Iger to shove off into retirement.

    • R.J.

      Looooooooong.
      It was good though.

    • Fatty Bolger

      I read it. I think it goes overboard in blaming the Iger/Chapek rift. If you take that part out, what you see is terrible decision after terrible decision by Chapek. Even when he had something initially right (staying non-political), he bungled it by reversing course and picking a fight with the state instead, leaving EVERYBODY pissed off.

      • Sensei

        Also the CFO relationship.

        Her reward for being honest with the board was having Iger can her when he returned.

  27. rhywun

    I love when Amazon takes a snapshot of my package to be helpful, and because I live in an apartment building, it’s a snapshot of a gigantic pile of packages.

    *womp-womp*